April 2, 2026 • 31 mins
Golden Bachelorette Joan Vassos connects with late comedian Bob Saget’s widow, Kelly Rizzo, for an intimate conversation that only two women who’ve lost husbands can have.
From how they processed their grief to how they’ve both found love after loss, these women are sharing it all.
Plus, Kelly recounts the special message she got from Bob after he passed away.
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Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hey, I do Part two. It's your celebrity mentor Joan
Vassos and I am joined here today and excited to
welcome host of the podcast Comfort Food. We are here
with Kelly Rizzo.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Welcome John. Thank you for having me here so great.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Well, I am excited to be here for first of all,
to be talking to you, but also we are here
for the iHeart Musical Words in Los Angeles. I have
never been to this. I've watched it on TV. I'm
always amazed by how many stars you can fit in
one auditorium. Have you been here before?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I have not. This is my first time. I mean
I've seen the red carpet and stuff like that, so
I'm really excited. I know, I know we get to
be a part of it.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Picking up my outfit today was like a lot of pressure.
I don't know if you felt the sub may but
I looked at the red carpet from years before and
I was like, oh God, this is a lot of pressure.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
But they're the nice thing about it is you can
kind of do what you want. You can kind of
get away with anything or like wild, casual, elegant, formal, very,
you know.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
So I think that made it harder. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I was just like, you know what, I think, I'm
just going to be me and this is this feels
like me.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
This feels good.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
I know, I've seen kind of people walking around the hotel.
There's a lot of people in this hotel that are
going to the awards. And I just saw I just
saw bts.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Oh did you really?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
I just saw Heather de Breah walk by and she
had the most beautiful black suit on, and I was like, oh,
that's so classy and elegant. See and now I feel
like I look that I should go put on something else.
You look stunning. That's the first thing I said when
I walked down. I was like, oh my gosh, you
look beautiful. Thank you for saying that. But now I
feel kind of frumpy because she looks so like silish
and then you let her hands on and now I
(01:46):
look frumpy and.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
She looks frumpy.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I mean, come on, well, we're here to talk about
something not so you know, elegant and fun as the
iHeart Music Awards. We're here to talk about something that
we kind of have in common. We are both in
the club that really no one wants to be in.
We're black widows. And I want to talk to you
about about your relationships. So Kelly, tell us about our
(02:11):
listeners a little bit about your late husband, Bob Saggett.
Everybody knows who Bob sagg it was because as we
were growing up, we all watched him portray Danny Tanner
on Full House. I feel like he was part of
my household when I was growing up.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
So the show never goes anywhere. It's amazing. How did
you guys meet and how long were you guys married?
He found me the old fashioned way on Instagram. He's
literally slid into my dms. The ten year anniversary of
that is coming up in like a week.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
It's funny that you have that ten year anniversary like
that's like a special moment. It's not like a way.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
I can go back and find the very first message
he sent me, and I was a little like, huh,
that's weird, that's he's not on my radar. It seemed
a little did.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
You know who he was?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Of course? Okay, of course you're pretty.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
You're younger than me, so he might not have been
in your household and you.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Were already six so when Full House came out, I
was like eight. Yeah, but or no, yeah, nineteen eighty seven.
I was eight, and but then, you know, I watched
America's Funniest Home Videos I at my Grandma's house on Sundays,
you know, when I was ten or twelve or whatever,
and so I knew who he was. But then there
was a big gap that he wasn't really on my radar.
And then you know, I knew he had some like
(03:21):
Edgier comedy, but then I just like, you'd give him
a chance? Yeah, but kind of his friends at first,
because he's still he was a lot older. He was
twenty three years older. He wasn't really my type typically,
but then he kind of charmed me and he was
just so wonderful. I'm like, how can I not give
this guy a chance? And he was very I would say,
(03:43):
like persuasive but not invasive, if that makes sense. Okay, Yeah,
he didn't come on too strong, but he was like,
I like, you, I would like for this to be
a thing, and if you don't, I understand, but if
you do, let me know. And then finally I was like,
all right, fine.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Okay, I can't fake and there you're going to be
that director I'm gonna have to answer exactly.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
And so then ten months later I moved to LA
from Chicago.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
And then you were living in the same county.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Now we were long distance for ten months, so.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
I always wonder about that. So when I went on
the Golden Bacher and then all of a sudden, like
I had men sliding into my dms and they were
all for so like, so few of them lived in
a reasonable distance from where I lived. I live in Maryland,
right outside of DC, and so I kind of said
no to all of them. I'm like, I don't say
this working. It seems like it would be really hard
to like have a casual date if you have to
get on a plane to fly there. So I never
(04:33):
did anything, but you did. You were brave and you
did it. But you had a little background on him.
You knew he was.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
How he was not, you know, some rando. I could
find out that he was not a serial killer. And
we you know, he travels a lot. I travel a lot.
So it worked out we saw each other maybe every
two to three weeks.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Okay pretty often, yeah, a lot.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
And then I moved LA and then a year and
a half after that we got married. And then we
were married like three and a half years before he passed,
so together for six years, six years total.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Yeah, his passing was so sudden. My husband, his passing
was long. He had cancer and I had him with
me for two years after he was diagnosed. I have
a hard time figuring out how in the world you
process that. Can you tell me what your journey look like.
I know this is hard to talk about, but I
feel like whenever I talk about it, it helps other people.
So I think these conversations are important. Obviously, you have
(05:25):
a podcast that you do this all the time. So
here I am asking you. I'm sorry, No, we don't
go to the very well but to be this invasive,
but we're putting this bad club together, so you might
as well join again.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
It feels like you have an instant connection with somebody
who's experienced the loss of a spouse. And I do say,
you know, whether there was you lost your spouse to
a long illness or suddenly. I don't want to say pros,
but there are like kind of pros and cons to both.
I feel the same way, you know, because you never
want to see somebody sick and suffer, but also you
(05:54):
have a chance to like get your affairs in order
you have a chance to say goodbye whatever that looks like,
at least have an opportunity to talk about what the
future will be like, you know. And Bob and I
didn't have a chance to do that.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
No, you didn't.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
You know, I have no idea like about dating again.
It's like, to me, Bob would have been like, how
dare you? Absolutely not, like never ever ever you were
going to live in an attic and be alone for
the rest of your life. And so part of me
is almost like happy we didn't have that conversation because like,
but of course everyone's like, no, you would want you
(06:29):
to be happy. But I actually just did a full
episode of my podcast on a minute by minute account
of what it was like that day that I found
out he passed. It was called the Day My Husband Died.
And because it really is an interesting thing to kind
of go through that dynamic of what that experience was
(06:52):
actually like and is. You know, it was gut wrenching
to go through it again and relive it. But at
the same time, and I don't know if you feel this,
but it's very cathartic for me to even feel sad,
because then if I feel sad, then I feel connected
to him, and I feel closer to him.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
I'm like, listening to this conversation, what you're saying, and
I'm like, you are saying all the things that I felt.
And it's funny how we had very different experiences. My
husband was sick for a whole two years, but I
remember the day he passed away, every minute of it,
like it is. It is in my brain, in my mind.
I can't get rid of it. It is just I
(07:31):
remember them carrying him down the steps on the stretcher
with him covered up. I remember every single second of
that day, and it sounds like you could ReLit minute
by minute. And there's very few days in my life
that I can relive the minute by minute, but that
is one of them.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
I just heard somebody and now for some reason, I
cannot remember who this was, But like two days ago,
I heard somebody talking about grief and they said that
the day they lost their person, like the whole day
is a complete blur, and they remember every single second.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Again, it's true, truth.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Something it feels like you remember every single second, but
it also feels like a dream, like I felt like.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
I was floating above my body yes day. Yeah, I
felt like I was there, but I just I could
hardly connect to anybody or anything really weird.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I remember everything, but then some things are kind of fuzzy,
Like I look back, I was like, who was the
first person to show up at my house? Was it
this person or this person? But for the most part,
I remember it well. And yeah, when you lose somebody suddenly,
it's very, very very traumatic in the sense that that
(08:35):
PTSD of that like loss in an instant, stays with
you and to this day, like I, you know my
boyfriend Breckon, If I can't get a hold of him
for five minutes, the worst thing happened, you know, it's
like I go, you do, I go full on right
back to that feeling, and it's I wish, I wish
(08:56):
I could like self soothe my way out of it,
but I haven't yet figured out how to totally get it.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
There's days I think about John passing and it takes
my breath away, like I almost can't breathe, Like it
feels that intense still, and I think it's like a
little PTSD. I think we need to get hypnotized or something.
I don't know what it is.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Oh, that would be amazing.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I think we need to get do something because it's
so painful.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Yeah, and it's exhausting to like put yourself through this.
You know, some days I'm better, but some days it
just hits me, like it happened historday. Has it been
five years?
Speaker 1 (09:28):
It was five years in January?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
January?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
What January eighteenth?
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Okay, January ninth. Oh jeez, four years.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
Four years.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
So we're close to the journey. You're just a year
ahead of me, a little bit ahead of you. I'm
something really struck me that you said that. Bob would
have said, no, don't date You're You're like I'm I'm
your mind forever. Is kind of like the message I
heard and John the week before he passed away. I
remember it perfectly. He was laying down on the sofa
(09:57):
he could hardly sit up so weak he had pancrettic cancer.
And I was sitting kind of like in the crook,
like right here, and he took my hand and he said,
I want you to find somebody and get married again
and have a relationship. And I said, oh my god.
I said, I am not having this conversation with you.
I said, you are not going anywhere. I had in
my mind he was going to live. He weighed a
(10:17):
hundred and twenty pounds and have been dying for two years.
I still thought he was going to make it. I said,
I'm not having this conversation with you. I was like,
you're not going anywhere, You're not leaving me, We're not
doing this. And he passed away a week later. And
I thought back on that conversation about two years later
when I was thinking, is this what my life is
going to be? Am I going to be a widow
at fifty eight and never have anything more? And that
(10:39):
conversation was such a gift because I felt like it
gave me he was giving me permission to date again.
So I didn't have any guilt. Wow. Yeah, And you're like,
I was lucky.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Am I going to date?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
I'm going to go Well, it was such a failure
dating normally, so big, Yeah, I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I'm going to go all out.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
See, I don't Bob I knew would have been like,
absolutely not. It means you didn't love me. I'm jealous.
How could you?
Speaker 3 (11:09):
You know?
Speaker 2 (11:11):
But but that's the only Bob I knew. And so
I have to now separate and I always call it
like Earthly Bob from Heavenly Bob. You know, Earthly Bob
would have.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Been like absolutely no, no, no, Heavenly Bob.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Heavenly Bob would want me to be happy. But I
got that message from his daughters, from his best friends.
They gave me their blessing. They're like, he would want
you to be happy. And I was like, are you sure?
And I'm like yes, And I'm like all right. If
the closest people to him give me their blessing and
with it, then he'd be okay with it, meaning I'm
(11:45):
okay with it.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
I got really good advice talking kind of to this
whole thing. You kind of got permission from these people.
I was on the Golden Bachelotte and I was really
struggling pretty far through my season. I was probably halfway
through my season and there's a psychiatrist or a therapist
on the show, and she came into my room, Doctor Adrian.
I will love her forever. I still speak to her,
and she said, I said, I'm really struggling with this.
(12:16):
I said, I don't think I can do this. I
think I still love John. She goes, I said, how
can I love somebody else? And still love John, and
she goes, of course you can. She said. Picture it
as two balloons. She said, John is in this hand,
and he's this balloon, and you could still love him,
and you can have another balloon in this hand, and
it's okay, there's room for you to have both of them.
I was like, I can still love him and still
(12:37):
get this one. And that just kind of gave me
this freedom. I was like, Okay, I need to tackle
this in a different way. And that's what I will
always love John. You will always love Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
And that's what I've been saying, is that it's the
loves are totally independent. Like sometimes I'll feel guilty because
I'm so happy now in my relationship and it's you know,
I'm like, I love you so much. But then I'm like,
doesn't that mean that I'm a bad wife to Bob?
Speaker 3 (13:03):
You know?
Speaker 2 (13:03):
But it's like, no, you can love one person with
all your heart and love another person with all your
heart and they're different, yep. And they can live side
by side simultaneously and they don't cancel each other out.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
You're more mature than I did, because I couldn't figure
that out until somebody told me. You I think you're
more emotionally connected to this than I ever was. But
I got good advice. I'm so happy to say, because
I also have a person now, so I'm so lucky.
We're both are really, really lucky. But I know that
those you know, days and years right after Bob passed away,
you and I probably had the same experience. And for
(13:35):
everyone listening, let's tell some of the worst things that
people should avoid saying to someone when they are grieving
the loss of a loved one, because there's some bad
ones out there. I don't know if you, I can
tell you probably the worst ones that I remember hearing.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Yeah, i'd like to hear that, because I strangely didn't
get a lot of really bad comments, at least not
from people. I know. There were some ways that people
like weren't as helpful, but I didn't really have any
bad like. I mean, what I've heard other people say
(14:11):
are things like, oh, he's in a better place now.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Yeah I had to.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
It's like, yeah, but he's not here and I miss
him here, so this was a great PA I be
somewhere better, yeah, but I feel like crap. But it
doesn't make me feel better. He's something because I'm sad, yeah,
or because I feel like crap now, or like you know, oh,
like I can't. People do say I'm Sure're like, oh,
you'll get over it, but it's like, yeah, no, you don't.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
You'll feel better, it takes some time.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
You're like, it's like, but and you will, but like
people don't want to hear that. In the moment, I
feel like I'm a trick.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Felt better. I feel different, Like I still think it's
really painful, but it doesn't. It's like that a stabbing pain.
It's adult pain, like or you know, it's just like
each day is different. It's not as take your breath away.
I can't keep stay composed. I'm right, I'm living now
as opposed to suffering through it. Yeah, yeah, it becomes different.
I feel like the one thing that struck me a
(15:07):
lot was that people kind of avoided me. And I
remember people saying I just avoided you because I didn't
know what to stay and yeah, I'm like, well that
makes it worse.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Well, I probably. I'm sure there were people like once
I finally went through loss, because I'd never really lost
anybody before except my grandparents.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Ye know, and you're so young that you've certainly, I mean,
I guess you probably thought Bob was going to pass
away before you did because you had a big age difference,
but certainly not not ye old right. Yeah, So.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
You know, I was just very, very very sad. But
at the same time, I had so much gratitude, like
right after he passed, because you know, he wasn't twenty,
like he lived this full, beautiful, amazing life and truly
made the world a better place, and he had these
(16:01):
incredible kids that he saw grow up, and you know,
so it was like, well done, sir, Like good job,
you did a great job. You lived while he lived
this beautiful life, and so I was so grateful that
I got to be a part of it. And I
the one thing that people that I remember. And I
don't fault him for this because I love him so
much and he's the best, best, best friend. But Jeff
(16:23):
Ross said to me at Bob's funeral, he goes, kell,
you got robbed. You got robbed. And I remember at
his funeral, yeah, five days after he died. I was like, no,
I didn't, No, I didn't. Yeah, It's like I did
not get robbed. Like what a blessing that it got
to be in his life for six years instead of Oh,
it's not fair, woe is me? Life sucks. It's not
(16:46):
fair that I didn't have him longer.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
You have a great attitude.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yeah, and I don't like, I don't really know where
it came from, because I didn't necessarily think that I
would have been so positive about it, but it just
kind of happened. I'm like, I'm not going to let
this turned me into like a bitter, miserable person. Yep,
you know, it was good. I think it's like kind
of maybe who you were before is also who you
are after grief.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
You know.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
But that was one of the things that somebody said
to me that I was like, no.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
No, no, I'm not I'm not gonna accept. But he
meant well by it. He meant like, you should, you
should had more. This was just the beginning of your journey. Yeah,
it was too quick. Do you ever get any messages
from Bob since he's passed. Did you ever have a
feeling he's there or he's sending you something?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
I had like one or two one I've talked about before.
It's a little hard to explain, but there was this
little wooden figuring that he had on his nightstand for years,
like right by our bed, that his daughter had given him.
It was really special to him. It was this like
very unique, special little wooden figuring. And when after Bob
(17:53):
passed and I had to look for a new home,
I felt really bad about it because I was like,
I felt like I was abandoning him. I move and
I was leaving him.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
And so the house that you lived in together had
meaning and you didn't want to leave it.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
We had to, we had to sell it. So when
I found a new house, it was really conflicted about it,
but I knew I had to, but still I was
very conflicted. And this one house that I looked at
that I I was like, I think I'm really going
to like this house. I walked in and the first
thing I saw was the same exact little wooden figurine
on the mantle, and it's like, not, it's not like
(18:26):
a g I Joe, like, this is a very unique,
like artisan craft thing. And I was like, that's weird,
my gosh, and I just started crying.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
I was like, this is the house, this is you
were done?
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah, And I felt like okay. He was like he said, okay,
he sent you this, Yeah, yeah, this house has a
nice little blessing over it, and yeah, so so you have.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I do have him every once in a while too.
It feels comforting. I remember that for the first year,
I really had no signs from God, and I was
mad at him. I was like, you like left me
here alone, like send me a sign, like so I
know you're okay. And I just didn't get one for
a really long time. On the other hand, my daughter
did and she would tell me. She's like, yeah, I
saw Dad this morning. I'm where She's like, She's like,
(19:07):
this hawk it comes to our house, like I had
the like right outside of big city, right outside Washington,
dw see, Like we don't have hawks like flying around
our neighborhood. She's like, hey, it comes every morning and
sees us. Because I stand out in the deck and
I see him comes around every morning. I'm like, he
probably has a nest there or someplace. But okay, and
then I got that. I remember we were on so
my husband was very bald and from chemo was part
(19:30):
of it, but he's also like he was balding even
before that. So we were on the way to the cemetery.
It was the one year anniversary of his of his passing.
All my kids, I have four kids and they're all grown,
and we were on our way to the cemetery to
visit him that day, bring flowers, and up above was
a bald eagle like lying like flying above us on
(19:51):
like a highway. Like we were going like seventy miles
an hour down this highway and the bald eagle was
just kind of leading us there.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Oh and my you.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Really, like, I don't think I'd ever seen a bald eagle,
to be honest before. And my oldest son was in front,
he was in his car and he's like, Mom, do
you see that. I'm like, see what he's like, the
bald eagle. And I'm I'm like looking up and I'm like,
oh my god, that is the bald eagle. He's following
us there. And then I was filming before I got
chosen to be the Golden Bacherette. We were filming me
at the cemetery. So they do like a package that
then they present to Disney and to Warner Brothers. Bacher
(20:22):
does and they were doing that package and they were like,
we want to go to the cemetery. I'm like, I
really don't want to go to the cemetery. It was
actually the day after the anniversary of his death, and
I didn't want to go. I didn't want to go
with cameras. I thought it was invasive. I felt lousy
about it. They're like, please, well, we will do it
in a really nice way. And it had just snowed
the whole day before. So we go. I'm really not
wanting to do this with them. I felt like, this
(20:43):
is a really personal thing, and it's been two years.
It was a two year anniversary of his passing. And
I go there and I told the producer, the executive producer,
a guy named Jason, on the way we were in
the car and the way I told him the story
about that John comes and visits us as like an
eagle or hawk and stuff, and I told him that's
and I just kind of been passing. And so we
go to the cemetery and we walk over to his
(21:04):
headstone and I'm brushing off all the snow off of it,
and I'm kind of looking around. I'm feeling very uncomfortable
because I feel very odd being there with cameras, and
I hear Jason's like, look up and he's standing with
behind the cameras and I'm all the way over here
and he's like look up and I'm like what what
And he's like, look up and there's three hawks are
clean the cemetery. Really weird, so so weird.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Yeah, I sound like a freak.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
I'm looking at the camera going, I'm not a freak?
Is it does sound really weird? But I just felt
like that was like a sign from him, because I
felt really uneasy about going on. You know, one thing,
going on the Golden Boutchery, you can kind of like,
you know, stay in the background, not really be a
main part of it. But when you're the leader or
the lead, and like you were going to be kissing
another guys, you're going to be doing you know, you're
going to be going there looking for really a husband
(21:50):
or you know, a mate at least or a boyfriend
or something. You plan to come off like matched up.
You're hoping for that, so you can't hide anymore. And
so I felt kind of guilty going on that, and
I felt like I got it was kind of my sign,
a little bit, my sign. Yeah, So I was so
appreciative when wonderful they send a sign a little bit.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Yeah, you don't. I don't get I don't get a lot.
I just started having I didn't have any dreams about
him for maybe like two to three years, and now
I've had like a couple, but nothing like too profound.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
How does it feel when you wake up, You're like,
huh yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Just a little like whoa, that was weird, but not,
you know, they haven't been anything too crazy yet. So
nothing where it's like a nightmare or something where it's like.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Oh, he's with you, he gave me a message and yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
It's was just like we're at dinner and he's kind
of just like sitting there next to me.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
That's so funny, Okay. And I and my mom has
a dream about my dad almost every night. My dad
passed away three months after John passed away. Wow, yeah,
great year. And she has dreams about him all the time.
And I'm I'm envious of her because I would love
to see John. And one of my biggest fears is
that the memories of him are fading a little bit.
(23:03):
And I feel like, and this is the first time
I remember going to the cemetery this year and like
kind of talking to him, and it was the first
time that I felt like life is moving on without him. Yeah,
like my kids are getting married, we're having more grandkids,
things that he isn't part of it anymore. Like he's
not part of these new families that are starting, even
(23:23):
though they're his kids. He's not part of this new
like new generation. And it feels really lousy to me.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yeah, Like we just had I just had a step granddaughter.
Bob's granddaughter was just born just a few months ago,
and it's you know, you get so it's very bittersweet.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
It's like, I'm so happy he didn't get to be
part of.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
It, right, I'm so happy to have her, but it's
so sad that he didn't. He didn't get carry I know.
I mean, I'm sure you know, he's here in some way,
of course, and he gets to, you know, watch over
her in his own way, but it's still very bittersweet,
you know.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Yeah, I kind of feel like they have a little
angel up there watching out for him. So it's maybe
a little comforting. You know, it's sad that there I
here and that they missed these big life events. And
I always felt like, you know, my husband had worked
so hard to create a really great life for us,
and then right when we were kind of at the
age where our kids were all graduating from college. We're
at the place where we could really start enjoying this life.
You know, we could go and travel and we'd have
our kids kind of taken care of, and we get
(24:15):
to start doing like taking your grandchildren to Disney World
and all of those things that I planned to do
as a couple. He died right before we got to
do all of those things, like that whole other half
of our life that we were planning on doing it
and kind of just got like disappeared to his poof
I know, isn't.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
That crazy, Like you can't plan life, you know, no
plan Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
They used to say like if when God sees you
planning life, he's laughing, he starts to laugh or something
like that.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Do you do anything today to kind of honor Bob's memory?
I mean, his memory is in you know, is so
many people knew him. He was such a star and
always doing to be such a kind person. Yeah, but
do you do anything personally like they try to keep
his memory on life for you?
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Well, I mean I'm constantly talking about him, like privately
and publicly all the time. I'm always sharing about Bob.
He telling stories, talking about him, you know, on my
podcast all the time, and you know, with his friends
and his kids. And a big thing that maybe is
the most important and I know would be so important
to him, is that I kind of took over one
(25:26):
of his roles for the Square Derma Research Foundation, which
was his biggest charity that he was like the guy
of the SRF for thirty plus years because his sister
died of.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
I was gonna say, do you have a personal connection.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Yeah, So.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
One of his jobs, I mean, he hosted the event,
so I obviously don't do that, but he his job
was to book the comedians. And so now that's what
I've been doing for the last four years is I've
been booking all the comedians and booking the talent for
the event. The big huge benefit that they have every
year called Cool Comedy, HOWK Cuisine and so that well.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
That's a great name right there.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Yeah, yeah, And so it's always like the world's best comedians,
great music, amazing food by a celebrity chef, Susan Fenneger. Okay,
And so that's one thing that I've done to kind
of keep honoring him and to keep his work that
he you know, his life's work, to kind of keep
it going.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
I love that. And then they benefit from like it
helps you maybe you know, feel good about like doing
something to you know, carry on his legacy.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Yeah, it's like the least I can do.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Yeah, Yeah, did you ever because that's we're gonna skip
on to now, like kind of where you are now
and moving on. We had this conversation already that moving
on is hard and you know, you feel guilty and
you're not sure if you should be doing it. Did
you ever really think that you were going to find
love again or did you think that like you had
the best it's hard to replace.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
I hoped. I was just very nervous. You know, you
hear such horror stories about dating and all this stuff. Yeah,
so you know, I was very hopeful that I would
I just didn't know what it would look like. And
would I be able to find somebody who was strong
enough and confident enough to understand that like Bob wasn't
(27:09):
going anywhere and he was always going to be a
part of my life.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Right, Yeah, you have to find a pretty amazing Yeah, so,
you know.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
And I kind of find that found that, right, off
the bat, like I didn't even I didn't date very
much at all.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Is that right? Okay?
Speaker 2 (27:22):
So you I went on the two basic little like
coffee dates pretty much and that was it.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
And and then and then you met Brecken. Yeah, can
you tell us a little bit about him. I know
who he is, but I'm not sure if everybody knows
who he is, they might, but tell us about Okay,
so tell us about who he is. Explain to the
audience who he is, and then tell us about how
you met. How do you meet?
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Well, yeah, we mel at our His best friend was
one of Bob's best friends, Seth Green, and he Seth
and his wife Claire, had an anniversary party, and Beckon
and Seth have been best friends since they were teenagers.
And so I I met him briefly before with Bob
because he Bob were friendly. They weren't best friends. They
weren't like very close. Okay, i'd be weird, but they
(28:03):
were that friendly. So we just reconnected, I guess at
Seth and Clair's party and just hit it off. And
then like a few weeks later, he asked me out
and we went on a date, and like that was it.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
That was it. Was almost one day three year guys,
like you knew right away, he knew right away.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Yeah, I mean we knew at least that we wanted
to definitely continue whatever that was. And then like after
the first date, I just didn't have an interest, Like
we didn't say fro like on date one, like by
the way, let's never talk to anything else, right, But
we did both kind of internally just be like, oh,
I don't really feel the need to date other people. Yeah,
(28:44):
But then you know, a few months later we were like, Okay,
let's this is actually not date other people.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
And do you guys live together? Like how you know
he lives.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Like four minutes away from me. He lives like a
mile away kind of good, right, It's we're in the
same neighborhood. We literally bump into each other like on
the street. It's really funny. But it's nice because we
you know, he has two kids, and you know, he
doesn't have them every day, but he has them a
few days a week, and so you know, he does
his thing, I do my thing, and then you know,
(29:12):
he'll come hang out at my house or I'll be like,
all right, be over in five minutes, and yeah, then
I'll go to right, so it's easy. Yeah, it's really nice.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Yeah, yeah, okay, good. What are your thoughts on marriage
and do you want to get married again?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
You know what. We've even talked about this, and I'm
I don't have to I'm open to it, but I don't.
I've been married twice. I was married once before Bob
and got divorced, okay, And so for me, I'm just
more about having the relationship and the connection and like
the commitment. But I don't need to legally get married.
(29:46):
But I'm I'm open to it, but I don't have
to have that, which is a great place because like
I don't want kids. I don't have kids, you know,
he doesn't want more kids, and so like that doesn't
have to be a factor in it, and it's like
we just get to enjoy each other and I something happens, happens.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
I feel like we are really the same person because
I feel the same way people I got engaged you
know on the batchel thank you, But people ask you
basking is when we're getting married.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
And I'm like, do we have to get married because.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
We are liking what we're doing? And why your husband
you don't have to why do you need to change this?
And like, yeah, at our age, I mean much older
than you, but you know, as you're like, we're not
in your twenty and thirties, we're not trying to have kids,
we're not like establishing careers, like we're kind of like
past that part of life, Like is there a need
to get married? I don't wondering And I don't feel
like I need to personally thank you for saying it
(30:31):
so people.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
I don't. Yeah, I don't feel like I have.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
To, but it's so traditional, right, we don't have to
do it.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
I'm I'm open either way.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Yeah, I feel the same way. This has been a
great conversation. I'm sorry Kathy was supposed to be with
us today but she got held up. She was a
great to have been talked. But we have to get
over to the award. Yes, we have things to do.
So are you listeners like us and trying to move
through your grief after loss? Need some help and advice?
Call us or email us. All the info is on
our show notes fow us on socials. Make sure to
(31:01):
rate review the podcast. I do Part two an iHeartRadio
podcasts where falling in love is the main objective,
Hey, I do Part two. It's your celebrity mentor Joan
Vassos and I am joined here today and excited to
welcome host of the podcast Comfort Food. We are here
with Kelly Rizzo.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Welcome John. Thank you for having me here so great.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Well, I am excited to be here for first of all,
to be talking to you, but also we are here
for the iHeart Musical Words in Los Angeles. I have
never been to this. I've watched it on TV. I'm
always amazed by how many stars you can fit in
one auditorium. Have you been here before?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I have not. This is my first time. I mean
I've seen the red carpet and stuff like that, so
I'm really excited. I know, I know we get to
be a part of it.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Picking up my outfit today was like a lot of pressure.
I don't know if you felt the sub may but
I looked at the red carpet from years before and
I was like, oh God, this is a lot of pressure.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
But they're the nice thing about it is you can
kind of do what you want. You can kind of
get away with anything or like wild, casual, elegant, formal, very,
you know.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
So I think that made it harder. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I was just like, you know what, I think, I'm
just going to be me and this is this feels
like me.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
This feels good.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
I know, I've seen kind of people walking around the hotel.
There's a lot of people in this hotel that are
going to the awards. And I just saw I just
saw bts.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Oh did you really?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
I just saw Heather de Breah walk by and she
had the most beautiful black suit on, and I was like, oh,
that's so classy and elegant. See and now I feel
like I look that I should go put on something else.
You look stunning. That's the first thing I said when
I walked down. I was like, oh my gosh, you
look beautiful. Thank you for saying that. But now I
feel kind of frumpy because she looks so like silish
and then you let her hands on and now I
(01:46):
look frumpy and.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
She looks frumpy.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I mean, come on, well, we're here to talk about
something not so you know, elegant and fun as the
iHeart Music Awards. We're here to talk about something that
we kind of have in common. We are both in
the club that really no one wants to be in.
We're black widows. And I want to talk to you
about about your relationships. So Kelly, tell us about our
(02:11):
listeners a little bit about your late husband, Bob Saggett.
Everybody knows who Bob sagg it was because as we
were growing up, we all watched him portray Danny Tanner
on Full House. I feel like he was part of
my household when I was growing up.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
So the show never goes anywhere. It's amazing. How did
you guys meet and how long were you guys married?
He found me the old fashioned way on Instagram. He's
literally slid into my dms. The ten year anniversary of
that is coming up in like a week.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
It's funny that you have that ten year anniversary like
that's like a special moment. It's not like a way.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
I can go back and find the very first message
he sent me, and I was a little like, huh,
that's weird, that's he's not on my radar. It seemed
a little did.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
You know who he was?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Of course? Okay, of course you're pretty.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
You're younger than me, so he might not have been
in your household and you.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Were already six so when Full House came out, I
was like eight. Yeah, but or no, yeah, nineteen eighty seven.
I was eight, and but then, you know, I watched
America's Funniest Home Videos I at my Grandma's house on Sundays,
you know, when I was ten or twelve or whatever,
and so I knew who he was. But then there
was a big gap that he wasn't really on my radar.
And then you know, I knew he had some like
(03:21):
Edgier comedy, but then I just like, you'd give him
a chance? Yeah, but kind of his friends at first,
because he's still he was a lot older. He was
twenty three years older. He wasn't really my type typically,
but then he kind of charmed me and he was
just so wonderful. I'm like, how can I not give
this guy a chance? And he was very I would say,
(03:43):
like persuasive but not invasive, if that makes sense. Okay, Yeah,
he didn't come on too strong, but he was like,
I like, you, I would like for this to be
a thing, and if you don't, I understand, but if
you do, let me know. And then finally I was like,
all right, fine.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Okay, I can't fake and there you're going to be
that director I'm gonna have to answer exactly.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
And so then ten months later I moved to LA
from Chicago.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
And then you were living in the same county.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Now we were long distance for ten months, so.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
I always wonder about that. So when I went on
the Golden Bacher and then all of a sudden, like
I had men sliding into my dms and they were
all for so like, so few of them lived in
a reasonable distance from where I lived. I live in Maryland,
right outside of DC, and so I kind of said
no to all of them. I'm like, I don't say
this working. It seems like it would be really hard
to like have a casual date if you have to
get on a plane to fly there. So I never
(04:33):
did anything, but you did. You were brave and you
did it. But you had a little background on him.
You knew he was.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
How he was not, you know, some rando. I could
find out that he was not a serial killer. And
we you know, he travels a lot. I travel a lot.
So it worked out we saw each other maybe every
two to three weeks.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Okay pretty often, yeah, a lot.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
And then I moved LA and then a year and
a half after that we got married. And then we
were married like three and a half years before he passed,
so together for six years, six years total.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Yeah, his passing was so sudden. My husband, his passing
was long. He had cancer and I had him with
me for two years after he was diagnosed. I have
a hard time figuring out how in the world you
process that. Can you tell me what your journey look like.
I know this is hard to talk about, but I
feel like whenever I talk about it, it helps other people.
So I think these conversations are important. Obviously, you have
(05:25):
a podcast that you do this all the time. So
here I am asking you. I'm sorry, No, we don't
go to the very well but to be this invasive,
but we're putting this bad club together, so you might
as well join again.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
It feels like you have an instant connection with somebody
who's experienced the loss of a spouse. And I do say,
you know, whether there was you lost your spouse to
a long illness or suddenly. I don't want to say pros,
but there are like kind of pros and cons to both.
I feel the same way, you know, because you never
want to see somebody sick and suffer, but also you
(05:54):
have a chance to like get your affairs in order
you have a chance to say goodbye whatever that looks like,
at least have an opportunity to talk about what the
future will be like, you know. And Bob and I
didn't have a chance to do that.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
No, you didn't.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
You know, I have no idea like about dating again.
It's like, to me, Bob would have been like, how
dare you? Absolutely not, like never ever ever you were
going to live in an attic and be alone for
the rest of your life. And so part of me
is almost like happy we didn't have that conversation because like,
but of course everyone's like, no, you would want you
(06:29):
to be happy. But I actually just did a full
episode of my podcast on a minute by minute account
of what it was like that day that I found
out he passed. It was called the Day My Husband Died.
And because it really is an interesting thing to kind
of go through that dynamic of what that experience was
(06:52):
actually like and is. You know, it was gut wrenching
to go through it again and relive it. But at
the same time, and I don't know if you feel this,
but it's very cathartic for me to even feel sad,
because then if I feel sad, then I feel connected
to him, and I feel closer to him.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
I'm like, listening to this conversation, what you're saying, and
I'm like, you are saying all the things that I felt.
And it's funny how we had very different experiences. My
husband was sick for a whole two years, but I
remember the day he passed away, every minute of it,
like it is. It is in my brain, in my mind.
I can't get rid of it. It is just I
(07:31):
remember them carrying him down the steps on the stretcher
with him covered up. I remember every single second of
that day, and it sounds like you could ReLit minute
by minute. And there's very few days in my life
that I can relive the minute by minute, but that
is one of them.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
I just heard somebody and now for some reason, I
cannot remember who this was, But like two days ago,
I heard somebody talking about grief and they said that
the day they lost their person, like the whole day
is a complete blur, and they remember every single second.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Again, it's true, truth.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Something it feels like you remember every single second, but
it also feels like a dream, like I felt like.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
I was floating above my body yes day. Yeah, I
felt like I was there, but I just I could
hardly connect to anybody or anything really weird.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I remember everything, but then some things are kind of fuzzy,
Like I look back, I was like, who was the
first person to show up at my house? Was it
this person or this person? But for the most part,
I remember it well. And yeah, when you lose somebody suddenly,
it's very, very very traumatic in the sense that that
(08:35):
PTSD of that like loss in an instant, stays with
you and to this day, like I, you know my
boyfriend Breckon, If I can't get a hold of him
for five minutes, the worst thing happened, you know, it's
like I go, you do, I go full on right
back to that feeling, and it's I wish, I wish
(08:56):
I could like self soothe my way out of it,
but I haven't yet figured out how to totally get it.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
There's days I think about John passing and it takes
my breath away, like I almost can't breathe, Like it
feels that intense still, and I think it's like a
little PTSD. I think we need to get hypnotized or something.
I don't know what it is.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Oh, that would be amazing.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I think we need to get do something because it's
so painful.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Yeah, and it's exhausting to like put yourself through this.
You know, some days I'm better, but some days it
just hits me, like it happened historday. Has it been
five years?
Speaker 1 (09:28):
It was five years in January?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
January?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
What January eighteenth?
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Okay, January ninth. Oh jeez, four years.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
Four years.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
So we're close to the journey. You're just a year
ahead of me, a little bit ahead of you. I'm
something really struck me that you said that. Bob would
have said, no, don't date You're You're like I'm I'm
your mind forever. Is kind of like the message I
heard and John the week before he passed away. I
remember it perfectly. He was laying down on the sofa
(09:57):
he could hardly sit up so weak he had pancrettic cancer.
And I was sitting kind of like in the crook,
like right here, and he took my hand and he said,
I want you to find somebody and get married again
and have a relationship. And I said, oh my god.
I said, I am not having this conversation with you.
I said, you are not going anywhere. I had in
my mind he was going to live. He weighed a
(10:17):
hundred and twenty pounds and have been dying for two years.
I still thought he was going to make it. I said,
I'm not having this conversation with you. I was like,
you're not going anywhere, You're not leaving me, We're not
doing this. And he passed away a week later. And
I thought back on that conversation about two years later
when I was thinking, is this what my life is
going to be? Am I going to be a widow
at fifty eight and never have anything more? And that
(10:39):
conversation was such a gift because I felt like it
gave me he was giving me permission to date again.
So I didn't have any guilt. Wow. Yeah, And you're like,
I was lucky.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Am I going to date?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
I'm going to go Well, it was such a failure
dating normally, so big, Yeah, I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I'm going to go all out.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
See, I don't Bob I knew would have been like,
absolutely not. It means you didn't love me. I'm jealous.
How could you?
Speaker 3 (11:09):
You know?
Speaker 2 (11:11):
But but that's the only Bob I knew. And so
I have to now separate and I always call it
like Earthly Bob from Heavenly Bob. You know, Earthly Bob
would have.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Been like absolutely no, no, no, Heavenly Bob.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Heavenly Bob would want me to be happy. But I
got that message from his daughters, from his best friends.
They gave me their blessing. They're like, he would want
you to be happy. And I was like, are you sure?
And I'm like yes, And I'm like all right. If
the closest people to him give me their blessing and
with it, then he'd be okay with it, meaning I'm
(11:45):
okay with it.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
I got really good advice talking kind of to this
whole thing. You kind of got permission from these people.
I was on the Golden Bachelotte and I was really
struggling pretty far through my season. I was probably halfway
through my season and there's a psychiatrist or a therapist
on the show, and she came into my room, Doctor Adrian.
I will love her forever. I still speak to her,
and she said, I said, I'm really struggling with this.
(12:16):
I said, I don't think I can do this. I
think I still love John. She goes, I said, how
can I love somebody else? And still love John, and
she goes, of course you can. She said. Picture it
as two balloons. She said, John is in this hand,
and he's this balloon, and you could still love him,
and you can have another balloon in this hand, and
it's okay, there's room for you to have both of them.
I was like, I can still love him and still
(12:37):
get this one. And that just kind of gave me
this freedom. I was like, Okay, I need to tackle
this in a different way. And that's what I will
always love John. You will always love Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
And that's what I've been saying, is that it's the
loves are totally independent. Like sometimes I'll feel guilty because
I'm so happy now in my relationship and it's you know,
I'm like, I love you so much. But then I'm like,
doesn't that mean that I'm a bad wife to Bob?
Speaker 3 (13:03):
You know?
Speaker 2 (13:03):
But it's like, no, you can love one person with
all your heart and love another person with all your
heart and they're different, yep. And they can live side
by side simultaneously and they don't cancel each other out.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
You're more mature than I did, because I couldn't figure
that out until somebody told me. You I think you're
more emotionally connected to this than I ever was. But
I got good advice. I'm so happy to say, because
I also have a person now, so I'm so lucky.
We're both are really, really lucky. But I know that
those you know, days and years right after Bob passed away,
you and I probably had the same experience. And for
(13:35):
everyone listening, let's tell some of the worst things that
people should avoid saying to someone when they are grieving
the loss of a loved one, because there's some bad
ones out there. I don't know if you, I can
tell you probably the worst ones that I remember hearing.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Yeah, i'd like to hear that, because I strangely didn't
get a lot of really bad comments, at least not
from people. I know. There were some ways that people
like weren't as helpful, but I didn't really have any
bad like. I mean, what I've heard other people say
(14:11):
are things like, oh, he's in a better place now.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Yeah I had to.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
It's like, yeah, but he's not here and I miss
him here, so this was a great PA I be
somewhere better, yeah, but I feel like crap. But it
doesn't make me feel better. He's something because I'm sad, yeah,
or because I feel like crap now, or like you know, oh,
like I can't. People do say I'm Sure're like, oh,
you'll get over it, but it's like, yeah, no, you don't.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
You'll feel better, it takes some time.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
You're like, it's like, but and you will, but like
people don't want to hear that. In the moment, I
feel like I'm a trick.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Felt better. I feel different, Like I still think it's
really painful, but it doesn't. It's like that a stabbing pain.
It's adult pain, like or you know, it's just like
each day is different. It's not as take your breath away.
I can't keep stay composed. I'm right, I'm living now
as opposed to suffering through it. Yeah, yeah, it becomes different.
I feel like the one thing that struck me a
(15:07):
lot was that people kind of avoided me. And I
remember people saying I just avoided you because I didn't
know what to stay and yeah, I'm like, well that
makes it worse.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Well, I probably. I'm sure there were people like once
I finally went through loss, because I'd never really lost
anybody before except my grandparents.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Ye know, and you're so young that you've certainly, I mean,
I guess you probably thought Bob was going to pass
away before you did because you had a big age difference,
but certainly not not ye old right. Yeah, So.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
You know, I was just very, very very sad. But
at the same time, I had so much gratitude, like
right after he passed, because you know, he wasn't twenty,
like he lived this full, beautiful, amazing life and truly
made the world a better place, and he had these
(16:01):
incredible kids that he saw grow up, and you know,
so it was like, well done, sir, Like good job,
you did a great job. You lived while he lived
this beautiful life, and so I was so grateful that
I got to be a part of it. And I
the one thing that people that I remember. And I
don't fault him for this because I love him so
much and he's the best, best, best friend. But Jeff
(16:23):
Ross said to me at Bob's funeral, he goes, kell,
you got robbed. You got robbed. And I remember at
his funeral, yeah, five days after he died. I was like, no,
I didn't, No, I didn't. Yeah, It's like I did
not get robbed. Like what a blessing that it got
to be in his life for six years instead of Oh,
it's not fair, woe is me? Life sucks. It's not
(16:46):
fair that I didn't have him longer.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
You have a great attitude.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yeah, and I don't like, I don't really know where
it came from, because I didn't necessarily think that I
would have been so positive about it, but it just
kind of happened. I'm like, I'm not going to let
this turned me into like a bitter, miserable person. Yep,
you know, it was good. I think it's like kind
of maybe who you were before is also who you
are after grief.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
You know.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
But that was one of the things that somebody said
to me that I was like, no.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
No, no, I'm not I'm not gonna accept. But he
meant well by it. He meant like, you should, you
should had more. This was just the beginning of your journey. Yeah,
it was too quick. Do you ever get any messages
from Bob since he's passed. Did you ever have a
feeling he's there or he's sending you something?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
I had like one or two one I've talked about before.
It's a little hard to explain, but there was this
little wooden figuring that he had on his nightstand for years,
like right by our bed, that his daughter had given him.
It was really special to him. It was this like
very unique, special little wooden figuring. And when after Bob
(17:53):
passed and I had to look for a new home,
I felt really bad about it because I was like,
I felt like I was abandoning him. I move and
I was leaving him.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
And so the house that you lived in together had
meaning and you didn't want to leave it.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
We had to, we had to sell it. So when
I found a new house, it was really conflicted about it,
but I knew I had to, but still I was
very conflicted. And this one house that I looked at
that I I was like, I think I'm really going
to like this house. I walked in and the first
thing I saw was the same exact little wooden figurine
on the mantle, and it's like, not, it's not like
(18:26):
a g I Joe, like, this is a very unique,
like artisan craft thing. And I was like, that's weird,
my gosh, and I just started crying.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
I was like, this is the house, this is you
were done?
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Yeah, And I felt like okay. He was like he said, okay,
he sent you this, Yeah, yeah, this house has a
nice little blessing over it, and yeah, so so you have.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I do have him every once in a while too.
It feels comforting. I remember that for the first year,
I really had no signs from God, and I was
mad at him. I was like, you like left me
here alone, like send me a sign, like so I
know you're okay. And I just didn't get one for
a really long time. On the other hand, my daughter
did and she would tell me. She's like, yeah, I
saw Dad this morning. I'm where She's like, She's like,
(19:07):
this hawk it comes to our house, like I had
the like right outside of big city, right outside Washington,
dw see, Like we don't have hawks like flying around
our neighborhood. She's like, hey, it comes every morning and
sees us. Because I stand out in the deck and
I see him comes around every morning. I'm like, he
probably has a nest there or someplace. But okay, and
then I got that. I remember we were on so
my husband was very bald and from chemo was part
(19:30):
of it, but he's also like he was balding even
before that. So we were on the way to the cemetery.
It was the one year anniversary of his of his passing.
All my kids, I have four kids and they're all grown,
and we were on our way to the cemetery to
visit him that day, bring flowers, and up above was
a bald eagle like lying like flying above us on
(19:51):
like a highway. Like we were going like seventy miles
an hour down this highway and the bald eagle was
just kind of leading us there.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Oh and my you.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Really, like, I don't think I'd ever seen a bald eagle,
to be honest before. And my oldest son was in front,
he was in his car and he's like, Mom, do
you see that. I'm like, see what he's like, the
bald eagle. And I'm I'm like looking up and I'm like,
oh my god, that is the bald eagle. He's following
us there. And then I was filming before I got
chosen to be the Golden Bacherette. We were filming me
at the cemetery. So they do like a package that
then they present to Disney and to Warner Brothers. Bacher
(20:22):
does and they were doing that package and they were like,
we want to go to the cemetery. I'm like, I
really don't want to go to the cemetery. It was
actually the day after the anniversary of his death, and
I didn't want to go. I didn't want to go
with cameras. I thought it was invasive. I felt lousy
about it. They're like, please, well, we will do it
in a really nice way. And it had just snowed
the whole day before. So we go. I'm really not
wanting to do this with them. I felt like, this
(20:43):
is a really personal thing, and it's been two years.
It was a two year anniversary of his passing. And
I go there and I told the producer, the executive producer,
a guy named Jason, on the way we were in
the car and the way I told him the story
about that John comes and visits us as like an
eagle or hawk and stuff, and I told him that's
and I just kind of been passing. And so we
go to the cemetery and we walk over to his
(21:04):
headstone and I'm brushing off all the snow off of it,
and I'm kind of looking around. I'm feeling very uncomfortable
because I feel very odd being there with cameras, and
I hear Jason's like, look up and he's standing with
behind the cameras and I'm all the way over here
and he's like look up and I'm like what what
And he's like, look up and there's three hawks are
clean the cemetery. Really weird, so so weird.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Yeah, I sound like a freak.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
I'm looking at the camera going, I'm not a freak?
Is it does sound really weird? But I just felt
like that was like a sign from him, because I
felt really uneasy about going on. You know, one thing,
going on the Golden Boutchery, you can kind of like,
you know, stay in the background, not really be a
main part of it. But when you're the leader or
the lead, and like you were going to be kissing
another guys, you're going to be doing you know, you're
going to be going there looking for really a husband
(21:50):
or you know, a mate at least or a boyfriend
or something. You plan to come off like matched up.
You're hoping for that, so you can't hide anymore. And
so I felt kind of guilty going on that, and
I felt like I got it was kind of my sign,
a little bit, my sign. Yeah, So I was so
appreciative when wonderful they send a sign a little bit.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Yeah, you don't. I don't get I don't get a lot.
I just started having I didn't have any dreams about
him for maybe like two to three years, and now
I've had like a couple, but nothing like too profound.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
How does it feel when you wake up, You're like,
huh yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Just a little like whoa, that was weird, but not,
you know, they haven't been anything too crazy yet. So
nothing where it's like a nightmare or something where it's like.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Oh, he's with you, he gave me a message and yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
It's was just like we're at dinner and he's kind
of just like sitting there next to me.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
That's so funny, Okay. And I and my mom has
a dream about my dad almost every night. My dad
passed away three months after John passed away. Wow, yeah,
great year. And she has dreams about him all the time.
And I'm I'm envious of her because I would love
to see John. And one of my biggest fears is
that the memories of him are fading a little bit.
(23:03):
And I feel like, and this is the first time
I remember going to the cemetery this year and like
kind of talking to him, and it was the first
time that I felt like life is moving on without him. Yeah,
like my kids are getting married, we're having more grandkids,
things that he isn't part of it anymore. Like he's
not part of these new families that are starting, even
(23:23):
though they're his kids. He's not part of this new
like new generation. And it feels really lousy to me.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yeah, Like we just had I just had a step granddaughter.
Bob's granddaughter was just born just a few months ago,
and it's you know, you get so it's very bittersweet.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
It's like, I'm so happy he didn't get to be
part of.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
It, right, I'm so happy to have her, but it's
so sad that he didn't. He didn't get carry I know.
I mean, I'm sure you know, he's here in some way,
of course, and he gets to, you know, watch over
her in his own way, but it's still very bittersweet,
you know.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Yeah, I kind of feel like they have a little
angel up there watching out for him. So it's maybe
a little comforting. You know, it's sad that there I
here and that they missed these big life events. And
I always felt like, you know, my husband had worked
so hard to create a really great life for us,
and then right when we were kind of at the
age where our kids were all graduating from college. We're
at the place where we could really start enjoying this life.
You know, we could go and travel and we'd have
our kids kind of taken care of, and we get
(24:15):
to start doing like taking your grandchildren to Disney World
and all of those things that I planned to do
as a couple. He died right before we got to
do all of those things, like that whole other half
of our life that we were planning on doing it
and kind of just got like disappeared to his poof
I know, isn't.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
That crazy, Like you can't plan life, you know, no
plan Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
They used to say like if when God sees you
planning life, he's laughing, he starts to laugh or something
like that.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Do you do anything today to kind of honor Bob's memory?
I mean, his memory is in you know, is so
many people knew him. He was such a star and
always doing to be such a kind person. Yeah, but
do you do anything personally like they try to keep
his memory on life for you?
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Well, I mean I'm constantly talking about him, like privately
and publicly all the time. I'm always sharing about Bob.
He telling stories, talking about him, you know, on my
podcast all the time, and you know, with his friends
and his kids. And a big thing that maybe is
the most important and I know would be so important
to him, is that I kind of took over one
(25:26):
of his roles for the Square Derma Research Foundation, which
was his biggest charity that he was like the guy
of the SRF for thirty plus years because his sister
died of.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
I was gonna say, do you have a personal connection.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Yeah, So.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
One of his jobs, I mean, he hosted the event,
so I obviously don't do that, but he his job
was to book the comedians. And so now that's what
I've been doing for the last four years is I've
been booking all the comedians and booking the talent for
the event. The big huge benefit that they have every
year called Cool Comedy, HOWK Cuisine and so that well.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
That's a great name right there.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Yeah, yeah, And so it's always like the world's best comedians,
great music, amazing food by a celebrity chef, Susan Fenneger. Okay,
And so that's one thing that I've done to kind
of keep honoring him and to keep his work that
he you know, his life's work, to kind of keep
it going.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
I love that. And then they benefit from like it
helps you maybe you know, feel good about like doing
something to you know, carry on his legacy.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Yeah, it's like the least I can do.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Yeah, Yeah, did you ever because that's we're gonna skip
on to now, like kind of where you are now
and moving on. We had this conversation already that moving
on is hard and you know, you feel guilty and
you're not sure if you should be doing it. Did
you ever really think that you were going to find
love again or did you think that like you had
the best it's hard to replace.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
I hoped. I was just very nervous. You know, you
hear such horror stories about dating and all this stuff. Yeah,
so you know, I was very hopeful that I would
I just didn't know what it would look like. And
would I be able to find somebody who was strong
enough and confident enough to understand that like Bob wasn't
(27:09):
going anywhere and he was always going to be a
part of my life.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Right, Yeah, you have to find a pretty amazing Yeah, so,
you know.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
And I kind of find that found that, right, off
the bat, like I didn't even I didn't date very
much at all.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Is that right? Okay?
Speaker 2 (27:22):
So you I went on the two basic little like
coffee dates pretty much and that was it.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
And and then and then you met Brecken. Yeah, can
you tell us a little bit about him. I know
who he is, but I'm not sure if everybody knows
who he is, they might, but tell us about Okay,
so tell us about who he is. Explain to the
audience who he is, and then tell us about how
you met. How do you meet?
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Well, yeah, we mel at our His best friend was
one of Bob's best friends, Seth Green, and he Seth
and his wife Claire, had an anniversary party, and Beckon
and Seth have been best friends since they were teenagers.
And so I I met him briefly before with Bob
because he Bob were friendly. They weren't best friends. They
weren't like very close. Okay, i'd be weird, but they
(28:03):
were that friendly. So we just reconnected, I guess at
Seth and Clair's party and just hit it off. And
then like a few weeks later, he asked me out
and we went on a date, and like that was it.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
That was it. Was almost one day three year guys,
like you knew right away, he knew right away.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Yeah, I mean we knew at least that we wanted
to definitely continue whatever that was. And then like after
the first date, I just didn't have an interest, Like
we didn't say fro like on date one, like by
the way, let's never talk to anything else, right, But
we did both kind of internally just be like, oh,
I don't really feel the need to date other people. Yeah,
(28:44):
But then you know, a few months later we were like, Okay,
let's this is actually not date other people.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
And do you guys live together? Like how you know
he lives.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Like four minutes away from me. He lives like a
mile away kind of good, right, It's we're in the
same neighborhood. We literally bump into each other like on
the street. It's really funny. But it's nice because we
you know, he has two kids, and you know, he
doesn't have them every day, but he has them a
few days a week, and so you know, he does
his thing, I do my thing, and then you know,
(29:12):
he'll come hang out at my house or I'll be like,
all right, be over in five minutes, and yeah, then
I'll go to right, so it's easy. Yeah, it's really nice.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Yeah, yeah, okay, good. What are your thoughts on marriage
and do you want to get married again?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
You know what. We've even talked about this, and I'm
I don't have to I'm open to it, but I don't.
I've been married twice. I was married once before Bob
and got divorced, okay, And so for me, I'm just
more about having the relationship and the connection and like
the commitment. But I don't need to legally get married.
(29:46):
But I'm I'm open to it, but I don't have
to have that, which is a great place because like
I don't want kids. I don't have kids, you know,
he doesn't want more kids, and so like that doesn't
have to be a factor in it, and it's like
we just get to enjoy each other and I something happens, happens.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
I feel like we are really the same person because
I feel the same way people I got engaged you
know on the batchel thank you, But people ask you
basking is when we're getting married.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
And I'm like, do we have to get married because.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
We are liking what we're doing? And why your husband
you don't have to why do you need to change this?
And like, yeah, at our age, I mean much older
than you, but you know, as you're like, we're not
in your twenty and thirties, we're not trying to have kids,
we're not like establishing careers, like we're kind of like
past that part of life, Like is there a need
to get married? I don't wondering And I don't feel
like I need to personally thank you for saying it
(30:31):
so people.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
I don't. Yeah, I don't feel like I have.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
To, but it's so traditional, right, we don't have to
do it.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
I'm I'm open either way.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Yeah, I feel the same way. This has been a
great conversation. I'm sorry Kathy was supposed to be with
us today but she got held up. She was a
great to have been talked. But we have to get
over to the award. Yes, we have things to do.
So are you listeners like us and trying to move
through your grief after loss? Need some help and advice?
Call us or email us. All the info is on
our show notes fow us on socials. Make sure to
(31:01):
rate review the podcast. I do Part two an iHeartRadio
podcasts where falling in love is the main objective,
Hosts And Creators
Amy Robach
T.J. Holmes
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