Go behind the scenes with Ben Higgins as he sits down with Lady A’s Charles Kelley for a candid conversation about faith, sobriety, and the power of second chances. Charles Kelley opens up about his journey through addiction, his evolving relationship with spirituality, and how his bandmates, family, and music have shaped his path toward wholeness. Hear the stories and insights that inspired his solo project, “Songs for a New Moon,” as well as what’s next for Lady A. It’s a raw, reflective, and unfiltered look at transformation, the importance of curiosity, and finding redemption in unexpected places.
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Faith, Religion, and Curiosity
02:09 Sobriety and Spiritual Discovery
04:38 Reading Richard Rohr & Faith Journeys
06:09 Family, Bandmates, and Faith Development
08:06 Pressure and Support From Bandmates
10:16 Purpose, Legacy, and Living for More
14:40 God Beyond the Box
16:07 Struggling With Religious Exclusivity
18:35 The Catalyst for Change: Sobriety
22:12 Growth, Family, and God Moments
25:57 Life and Joy After Sobriety
27:22 Social Life Without Drinking
30:13 New Priorities, Legacy, and Respect
32:13 Marriage, Support, and Forgiveness
37:03 "Songs for a New Moon" Inspiration
41:42 Vulnerability, Shame, and Recovery
45:20 Lady A’s Next Chapter and New Music
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We're working on a new record, but we would get
in some conversations and especially like some some heated little debates.
For me, when I view religion, I feel, I truly
believe that we are all praying to the same God.
This isn't a club. And just because someone is unsure
(00:20):
about joining your club while they're excluded, I don't know,
like you feel like people will judge you why does
he not have a drink? And then you start realizing
no one cares.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Welcome to If you can hear me a space where
culture meets the soul, I'm Ben Higgins. You may know
me from The Bachelor, and you may know my guests
from culture, Headlines and entertainment. This podcast is about going
beyond the surface into something deeper. Each week we sit
down for open conversations about identity, faith, and the realities
(00:50):
underneath it all. At its heart, this podcast is about
creating space for people to slow down and speak freely.
Not polished interviews or perfect answers, just real discussions that
are unfiltered.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I invite you to lean in and enjoy the conversation.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Charles Kelly, this has been an interview I've been very
excited about for a while.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Well, I appreciate it, man. It's cool to get to
see you. Before we you know, before we got on,
we were chatting a little bit about golf. So I'm
already like I'm in my I'm in my wheelhouse now,
you know. Yeah, it's just it's a tactic to get
you comfortable.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Yeah, it is the you know, I could sit and
I feel like I have a good touch on the
celebrities who play golf.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Uh. It is. It is like the feat it's the
competitors that I compete against that I never beat. Uh.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
And So I've you know, seen you, watched you play,
You've gotten to do some cool things in your life.
And today, I mean, so many people know you from
Lady A uh and and so many people are fans
of you, but today is really about kind of like
uncovering who you are as a person. And I think
that's always most like interesting and exciting thing for me. Well,
(02:04):
that's awesome, man. I appreciate you having me. No, I
love talking.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
I love talking about some of the journey, especially I'm
sure we'll get into it, you know, a little bit
of the sobriety journey I've been through, which I think
is probably one of the biggest reasons I've gotten a
lot closer to my faith, you know, but it isn't
as traditional. I will say, mine is not like as
you know, maybe like we're you know, like as fundamentals
(02:26):
as some. But I think that's what's cool about faith
and belief is is it's it's a journey and it's
a constant you know, learning to uh, to kind of
find to find it and get that stronger connection as
you go. We had Peter Rowlings on a few weeks ago.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I don't know if you're familiar with Peter, but he's
a comedian and it was really fun. He and I
read a lot of the same people, and it's kind
of where I'll start. It's not the most interesting question
in the world, but when it comes to faith, like
who do you read?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Who do you lean into? For?
Speaker 3 (02:58):
For me and and Peter, it was, you know, the
Campbell's and the Richard Rors. I really find myself learning
a lot and relating to them. But who are you
kind of leaning into? Man?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
I will say that Richard Rhor really definitely maybe feel
a little bit less alone when I read that, just
to be a guy that is just so incredibly knowledgeable
but still had such this I don't know, it's like
said things that was like, wait, that's kind of how
I've been feeling, you know, and that that that God's
(03:33):
kind of all around us, within us all and how
we interact, you know, with each other. Like and so
it's I've always struggled, you know, growing up going to church,
and I've struggled to separate sometimes human fallibility and church
with with God. And it's like, so when something I
(03:53):
don't agree with goes on with human beings and people
that are inturt then all of a sudden, it makes me.
It taints this relationship and hip, and and I've had
to like separate that, you know from uh, you know
sometimes even the church. I just that's been that's always
been the thing I think that actually kept me from
wanting to develop, to develop a stronger relationship. And so
(04:16):
now I just I found faith through you know, even
in some of these like AA meetings I go to.
Now you know, I've been sober almost four years, and
I treat that almost like my little Bible study because
you get so it's a it's it does have a
you know a bit of a faith based at least
some sort of belief in a higher power kind of
(04:37):
attached to it. And I think that's I think without that,
it's hard for people to to get through it and
and and and realize there's a reason for you know,
all these things that we go through. So but Richard
Ror was great. What was the other? Was it? Arthur Brooks?
Is that his name? I read some of that one
and then you know, I'll read in the beginning. I
(04:59):
write a lot of that. They call the a Big Book,
and there's a lot of you know, spiritual stuff in there.
But man, I try to just find it in in
human interactions and in moments with my family in quiet
time and you know, we you know, we'll obviously pray
together before you know, dinners at night and stuff. But again,
(05:19):
like I don't go to church, so so again I'm
not this like traditional you know, Christian in that way.
But you know, like my bandmates Dave and Hillary, I
mean they are they're really they have a strong faith
and they always have. I mean Hillary even made a
faith based record with their family and and so you know,
it's been I think cool for them to see me
(05:40):
kind of even slowly like start to develop that relationship.
But it's I still feel like I have so many
questions and I'm still kind of defining what it is.
And I think that's okay. And like even reading you know,
guys like Richard Ror and it's like he's constantly evolving
in his faith and that made me feel a little
(06:03):
less alone and like, yeah, we're all you know, we're
still there's still a lot to learn, there's still a
lot to connect with, and I don't know, it made
me feel really really good, like I don't have to
have it all figured out. I don't have to have
all the answers. I don't have to say or think
I have all the answers yet.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
The little side note, I was just reading the history
of A. I don't know if you knew this, but
one of the initial meetings came from the golf course.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Oh now that I didn't know. I knew how. It
started with the two guys watching the plane take Bob. Yeah.
Oh that's cool. Yeah, I'd recommend looking into it this
when let's start kind of at the beginning. Obviously, you've
been a member of Lady A.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Your breakout I believe came in twenty ten, around that
kind of season. You had a in time platinum hit
need you Know, Needs You Now, Need You Now. I
actually said that wrong, need you Now you Know? Worry
People say that all the time. They're like, man, I
(07:11):
love your hit needs to Know, and I'm like, man,
close the the new project that you're working on is
Songs for a New Moon.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
I did say that, right, you did.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
But obviously your resume as an artist speaks for itself.
With your band and we're gonna I want to do.
I want to lean into your new project a little bit.
But I'm curious because I think in the fundamental Church
or in the church in general, when you're so close
to somebody who isn't pursuing God and isn't feeling connected
(07:43):
to God, it feels like a calling or an obligation
whatever you want to put on it to kind of
help that person and speak into that person. Did you
feel that pressure kind of? I mean, you just said that.
Your bandmates, I think are very excited about that, the
path that you're on. But before all this, yeah, how
(08:04):
do they stand beside you?
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Man? They were really understated. They they've never been pushy
or anything, And I mean, I think that's one of
the things I always loved about it. But we would
get in some conversations and especially like some some heated,
heated little debates, and I was always just to impress
at how like firm they were and well, well I
(08:27):
believe that's believe it. I'm always like, well, why what
is this? Well, how can you explain this? And it
was all and so, you know, I think that's the
thing that I've found is like my you know, whatever
your belief or or disbelief, it's not up to you
to try to convince I get what you're saying, like
(08:47):
like you definitely want to spread the word and brave
and and there is some of that. I mean, I
think they always prayed for me. I know when I
when I got sober, I mean that was one of
the things that were like Hillary and Day were like
I prayed for this, and I prayed that you as
then I kind of shared my stronger connections, like I
prayed that you would get this stronger connection. My dad
really did too. My dad was always like, I really
(09:08):
want you to try and I'm like, man, I'm trying to.
I'm just like these questions are hard for me to
wrap my head around and justify. And so it's really
interesting to me. I think there was a way that
they did it that was so subtle, and they knew
that's the way to do it. With me is I mean,
if you sit there and try to push it and
push it, I'm the kind of guy I'm going to
(09:29):
go even further and further away. And so I think
that's that's that delicate balance that you know with anyone
that you know wants to try to share share their beliefs.
You kind of have to read people and see how
they're going to take it. But I don't know. For me,
I've just uh, I think they always, like I said,
(09:52):
prayed for it, and I think it's brought us so
much closer because I think we feel a little bit
more connected now, like I'm not this just this outlier
who's you know, kind of living for the moment only.
And that was how I kind of always felt. I
would justify that for a lot of the drinking I
did too. I was like, listen, man, life's about collecting
as many heightened moments as you can. Let's freaking go
(10:14):
out here, Let's have the most the best shows, you know,
freaking live it up that night, and that's a moment.
And then we go on, we try to do that
again and again and again. But I don't think I
could always tell there was a part of me was like, well,
what am I here for? And what is my purpose?
And and I really felt like two people like respect
(10:35):
me though like my friends at the end of the day,
I'm like, I know we're friends, but like I want
to be a guy where they look I'm like, that's
a good guy, you know, and that guy's that guy
stands for something. So I think that's that's been the
journey I've been on. I feel like is I feel
like it's almost like a second half of life, you
know that Richard Rorer talks about. And I really feel
like I'm on it where I'm like, wow, this is
(10:56):
like a chance for me to you know, put aside
this this guy and just go, okay, now, what what's
this journey going to look like? And treat it almost
as my new adventure, you know, in life. And so
it's it's been kind of cool to to chase that down.
And I mean to get to like, you know, this
(11:17):
solo record I'd made, you know, after a few years
of being in this I was like, man, I kind
of want to share this journey in this like excitement
and joy and the blessings I've been kind of given
from it, and the vulnerability and honesty because there was
it was a hard journey, and I mean I put
people through a lot, especially my wife, and so it
(11:37):
was kind of cool for me to be able to
have this like cathartic moment make a solo record out
of that. You know, I couldn't go to the band
and say, hey, guys, I want to do this record.
Oh yeah, And also I wanted to sound like it
came out in the eighties, so so I think I'll
right off the bat, it was like, Okay, this needs
to be, you know, something for me just to do.
And so it's all kind of in there, all the
(11:58):
struggle and the joy and the you know, just that
self awareness is in that in this record. Of one
of the things I'm picking up on is you're a
very curious human. You know a lot of these big
questions I think, and it's one of if I was
to get on my soapbox. It's one of the underrated
(12:20):
skill sets and personality types within any faith tradition is
the curiosity to say, hey, that doesn't settle well with me.
Let me sit on this for a second, ask the
questions explored a little bit. Maybe there's no answers, and
that's okay, But do you feel comfortable with the curiosity
or is that for now? I do? I? You know,
(12:43):
I think for me, And again, I know this is
hard for some people here because it's like they get
so into their thing. But for me, when I view religion,
I feel I truly believe that we are all praying
to the same God, and we have. Over the history
of religion, it has just, you know, it keeps drifting
(13:04):
off to different you know kind of you know, ways
to believe or or or or different you know, specific ideologies.
But really, I truly believe in my heart that everybody
and from all different religions we are praying to the
same God, and we just have defined it in different
ways and put different uh drapes around it, you know.
(13:27):
But that's just me, and that's and that's and and
I feel like, well, it's also Paul.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
I mean when you read Paul's words of you know,
he goes into Athens and he's like, hey, here's this,
you know, the statue of the Unnamed God. I want
to tell you this the unnamed God is you've tried
all this stuff, You've been praying to something greater than yourself.
You know, there's something greater out there. Let me communicate
to you what you know. I believe that God is.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Well and doesn't I tell you that there's just this
innate ability in all of us that we we know
and feel there's something something greater, and then we we
wanted to we want to define it, and I think
we all, you know, have found different ways of defining it.
And the thing that always didn't sit well with me
was like, depending on what family you grew up in,
(14:14):
is what you were going to believe in. And so
to say like, Okay, well this person can't go to
heaven because that's and it's like, well, okay, well that's
all they've known, they grew up there, that's how that's
their thing, and that that was where some arguments really
really got tough for me, you know, especially like you know,
growing up, one of the best friends was this It
(14:35):
was this Jewish Jewish buddy of mine, and I really
struggle when people are like, oh well, and so I
was like, well, no, he's not going to heaven. I'm like, nah,
he's one of the greatest human beings I ever know.
I don't. I don't believe that. I think we're all
finding different ways. And that's that's just the way I believe,
and you know, and and I don't. I don't. I
(14:57):
have a tough time seeing the argument and some of
the some of the criteria to get to heaven and
and and some that aren't just because somebody you know
did this or or lives a certain lifestyle that that
those kind of things really are things I struggle with.
And I'm not a fundamentalist in that way, and and
(15:19):
I totally understand when people are. I just feel like,
for me, man, I I think it's a God of
love and and this not this you know, fire and
brimstone punishment type of type of fate that I live in.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
The there's a quote that you have about putting God
in the box. It's it's a longer quote and it
has some more context to it. But one of the
points you make is that you don't want to put
God in the box. And I read that and I hear,
uh that, Charles, that you believe that God is so
much greater than any you know, words, concepts like that
this God is so big within everything that it's hard
(15:58):
to you know, simplify it in these kind of ways
that we as humans want to simplify it exactly.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Can you speak, it's not a club. It's not a club. Yeah, yeah,
it's not a club, and it's not you know, you're
this isn't a club and it and just because someone
is unsure about joining your club while they're excluded, I
just that whole thing to me is is always going
to be a difficult, a difficult thing to wrap my
head around. And h and again, I'm not very I'm
(16:27):
not incredibly knowledgeable, so in like really really knowledgeable. I mean,
people get into like religious arguments with me and they'll
you know, and I'm like, I'm you're waging for my
pay grade. I haven't delved into any of that. I
get it, and I know this is where you're coming from.
It's what you believe. But I was like, just for
me at least in this journey where I'm at, I mean,
(16:48):
it may change and it's and I think that's why
I'm kind of liking where I'm at, because I'm kind
of letting it show itself. I was like, Dude, there
may be been ten years. I may want to be
one of the strongest Christians, knowledgeable it all, you know,
but like I'll be in you know, want to play
it or something, and We'll be in conversations with David
Hillary and they be like, oh, and this is when
(17:09):
you know, this is when Moses did this. Oh and
this is when Paul and this is when you know Ezekiel.
I'm like, dude, I know the I know, I know
the basics. I was in church, literally, dude, I would
be in church. This is how zoned out. I would
be in church. Sometimes I would be making up songs.
I would open up the hymn book and I would
be making up like melodies in my head to like
(17:33):
the songs in there. Yeah, didn't match whatever it was.
I mean, I just was it was. It was. It
was an interesting you know. I would take little tidbits
and I'd always feel something from the music and the hymns,
and then I would just go into like zone out worlds.
So like, I feel like I went to church pretty
much every Sunday growing up, and then it's like nothing
went in, nothing went in.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Well, I mean, and this is one of the beautiful
things I think about the human experiences this journey of
discovery and questions and exploration and the search for authenticity right.
I mean, one of the things that so many people
today have church trauma with is that the church felt
like it manipulated, persuaded, or pushed them in a direction
(18:17):
that wasn't authentic to maybe who the individuals were. But
you have you wouldn't admit that you're on a journey
of faith right now. What kind of was the catalyst
to that? You grew up in the church, you stopped
attending the church based on what I think I've read,
(18:41):
but then recently you've kind of started to come back
to faith, to a personal relationship with God.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
What caused it? I mean, definitely getting sober. I mean
it was just that felt like such a God moment.
It was when I finally, you know, kind of just
relinquished to it the problems. You know, I kind of
always knew I had a problem over the past, you know,
(19:09):
probably five years leading up to it. I mean I
was always you know, oh, that's a dog, that's a
big boy.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
It's just a it's just a delivery guy who get
his head shoot off.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Yeah we're good, you got oh yeah, what we're talking
about now.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I asked about your kind of like you said, getting
sober was the start today?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Yeah, it was, it was, It was, And like you know,
I'd always been, you know, a drinker. I started drinking,
you know, halfway through fifteen years old in high school.
And it was always part of this this thing that
was just me and it became a part of my identity.
And you know, only got stronger through through through college
(19:55):
at University of Georgia and then and then in a
band and you feel invincible and you know, and I
think that's the thing too with it. I I've shared
it was like there's nothing wrong with drinking. And I
had a lot of great moments and memories. I would
not have probably taken some of the chances if I
hadn't had a little bit of liquid courage running through
me in a many many situations. But for me, it
(20:18):
I couldn't stop it just a few I mean, you
know something nice. I couldn't stop at six or seven.
I mean it needed to just just go to you
couldn't go. But the God moment, man was I mean
I had, you know, without going into all the details,
had this moment where like I was in Greece, a
bunch of friends and like gotten this argument my wife.
(20:40):
It just like turned my phone off. It just disappeared,
just stayed all night drinking and wandering and like so
many bad things could have happened. But eventually, you know,
I turned my phone back on. Calls gets me and
it's like, one, I don't know if I want to
you know, if we're going to be together anymore, and
two you go to reab or we're definitely done. And
(21:03):
I was just like we had this moment and there
was something in her grace and her like forgiveness of
that moment too. It was just like it felt like
such a god moment and all this weight. I was like,
I know, I want to do it. And I started
crying and it was like this realization that something it
just felt bigger than me and my ego and any
(21:25):
of that, and it was like, you're ready, son, let's
do this. And I don't know, it was like as
I was there, I went to this place for a month,
it was like just the release and this like all
the this stuff I was holding on to it just released,
and I you know, we would be hiking through the
(21:48):
mountains and I would just look at nature differently, and
it just felt like such a god moment and it
was the beginning of this this journey, and it keeps
going and I, you know, I feel times where I've
got a really wrong. I'm really I'm really dialed in
and connected, and I feel like, you know, I can
be like like I am now like focusing on my
record and like all I'm thinking about and all I'm
(22:09):
dreaming about is this record of music and stuff, and
so you know, I go in these ebbs and flows
with it. But but hands down, the gift of desperation
of like getting to a point where I needed help
that could have looked like such a negative maybe to
the outside world. I had some people like, oh, I'm
(22:30):
so sorry you had to do that go through I
was like this, this, this is the best thing that
ever happened to me. Like that's hard to describe because
I think they look at it with the stigmas like
this is like was the was the you know, the
knock in the head I needed to like change the
trajectory of my of my life and my faith and
(22:50):
my family in my career, all these things got better.
I'm not saying it's easy. I mean there's definitely moments
that you're like, man, a drink right now will be nice.
I'm really stretched out or whatever, and it's like, well,
I had to find new ways of coping with it,
and and it's just, uh, it was the best thing
that happened to me. And I think that's why they
call it a gift, if you you know, if you
choose to look at like it, look at it that way,
(23:13):
you know. I Mean, sometimes I think there's a lot
of things in people's life that have this profound moment.
It could be a someone passing that just somehow I
don't know that it it it brings them closer to
their faith or whatever it may be, near death experience,
whatever it might be. And for me it was it
was getting sober. I mean, I got really close to
(23:33):
losing it all and I felt it and it felt real,
and it was like, you know, all right, here we go,
it's time. It's time to it's time to do this.
You uh.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
You you mentioned that you tend to lean into God
more in the difficult moments.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Obviously with this journey into sobriety, have you learned how
to lean into God during the good moments too?
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Yeah? It's definitely the beginning. I mean I think most
people it's like something's bad, bad's going on. It's like, God,
please get me through this, get me through this. And
I think that definitely is the beginnings for me. And
then yeah, and then I have so many moments. I've
had more moments in the past year. It felt like
and I got a ten year old boy, and now
I have this seventh, seven month little boy, and it
(24:22):
was it was a big surprise. I mean, we did
not think we were going to have kids. We're not
playing into and just out of nowhere, were like, oh
my gosh. I mean I call that if that's not
a godwink of Like, no way, if I didn't get sober,
we would have had this baby. There's no way. First,
I don't know if my wife would have stayed with
me too, we wouldn't have been as close, and you know,
(24:45):
lack of the obvious is intimate and all these different things.
So but like, yeah, for me, I've just found so
many moments where I'm just like it could be with
them or on a plane even and I'm just like, man,
I'm in a good spot. Thank thank you Lord. You know,
it just like little moments like that, or like being
(25:06):
out on the golf course and instead of it being
all about, you know, just gambling and drinking, I'm out
there going like look at this view. I mean, I'm
here like this is. And so I've had a lot
of those moments, you know, I find them a lot
of nature and especially just moments with my kid. I'm
I feel like my little ten year old is my
(25:27):
little best friend, and I have so many moments where
we would just be together at the end of the night,
reading a book, one of his books together, or you know,
the other couple of weeks ago, he read this book
called Hatchet. So we wanted to go camping, and so we,
you know, we did kind of a you know, a
quick little poor man's camping trip and we just I
don't know, I had so many momentsors like this is special,
(25:49):
this is you know, thank you for getting me here,
you know, and so that's those are God moments, you know,
I really do. I feel like they're in there. You know.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
I think I'll ask an elementary question if you don't mind,
but for somebody out there listening who's in the midst
of some type of struggle, addiction or whatever, it may be.
I think the scary part for so many is, hey,
life beyond this isn't going to be enjoyable. Those you
(26:23):
know you just kind of spoke about at the beginning.
One of the reasons why you know, you wanted to
have a drink at night before it shows, because you
want to make this the biggest you know, it's a
thousand excuses to why we need to just make sure
this is.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Memorable in whatever way we can.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
Can you speak into the what life has looked like,
sober what, Yeah, the joys that come from it also
maybe even the struggles, maybe their fear is real, maybe
everything isn't as great.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Speak to it a little bit. Yeah, I mean, I
think everybody has a little bit of a different journey
with it. But it's crazy how similar the stories are.
The first year it's tough, I mean it is. It's funny.
I think a lot of people like come out of
the first few months and they're like, Okay, I got this,
(27:13):
and they're like man, oh and I'm really into it,
and then it starts getting tough. That three months to
the first year you're just like, oh man, all right,
this little cocktail party I would have to go to,
you know, for me a lot for like work or something.
I'm like, that was that was that was boring. That
was hard, you know, but like I don't know it,
like you feel like people judge you, why does he
(27:34):
not have a drink? And then you start realizing no
one cares what you're drinking or not drinking. No, no
one cares. They just care about the drink. It's in
their own hand. And like some little things like that,
the social aspect of it. I mean, I was like, Okay,
what's what's it going to be like going on stage?
I mean I'd done a couple shows TV like Quick
(27:55):
Appearance without maybe having a drink, but most of the
time's not. I mean, heck, I was even justifying having
a a whiskey before today's show at seven in the
morning because I needed to open my voice up, you know.
And it was always like this little trigger crutch, you know.
And so you find different tools, man, you do and
(28:17):
and and there's certain things I realized, Man, maybe I
really didn't enjoy a lot of those things. I was
just kind of drinking help me get through them and
enjoy them. But maybe I'm not quite as gregarious and
sociable as I thought I was. It was the alcohol.
I missed some of those moments. I miss maybe a
(28:38):
little bit of that looseness. But now I have this realization.
I always, I always know where it was going to go,
and I see it in other people and I'm like,
oh my god, I'm that guy. I was that guy
at this party that literally I'm like, when is he
gonna when is he going to get away? Oh ope,
stop she's talking to an interjector. Oh oh my gosh,
(28:59):
she's about to make a fool himself. And he thinks
he's the life of the party, and all he is
is turning into this egotistical jackass, you know, for lack
of a better word. It's just I can see it
also clearly, and so I think a lot of that
is a part of it is just like, yeah, in
that moment, you think you're having fun, but man, there's
(29:19):
just you don't have to worry about the regrets. I mean,
so many times I'd be stressed out about something or
something i'd done and I have to drink to stop
thinking about what I'd done, you know, wrong, And it
was just like or how I embarrass myself? And I
don't know It's just it's just a different way of looking.
And that's why I look at it as the second
half of life. It's like, this is this was Peter Pan.
(29:39):
He had a blast. It was awesome and it was
also not awesome. There was a lot of great things
and a lot of things I learned from and then
this is kind of this new journey. It was like, Okay,
what kind of man do I want to be? What
kind of example I want to be? What kind of legacy?
You know? Can't just be about hey had some really
great hits on the radio. It can't be about Okay,
(30:02):
you know he was financially successful. What's making me happy?
And what's going to be the mark I'm going to leave?
And you know, and I do you know if there's
a little bit of an egotistical side of it. I
want to be respected in this town. Man. There's a
lot of artists I just look up to and I'm like,
there is a calmness about them. There is a nothing
(30:24):
to prove confidence that I see in some of these
older artists. I'm like, I want to be that, you know,
And I used to be the guy I was like,
look at me, you better like I better come in.
I want you to remember me. So I'm going to
be a little louder. I'm going to be trying to
be a little funnier. And now I find that you
get more of that when you just sit back and
(30:45):
like you know, you find your ways to kind of
kind of you know, interject and read the room and
and a little bit more giving with myself.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
I guess, yeah, Uh, there's a Dave Gibbons is a
past around California, and Dave Gibbons is one of the
most respected people I've ever met, just from anybody that
meets him. And I asked him about a year ago,
I said, how in the world do you do it?
He's great, I know, he's great to be around. And
(31:14):
he just simply looked at me with one of those
whyse you know comments, and he said, because I create
the space, and I think people are just looking for
people that create the space, and he does. He sits
back and he's available.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
He doesn't need to be.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
The loudest person in the room. But when you're with him,
you know he's with you. And I've always found that
to be. In the last year that sat with me
in a way that has changed the way I try
to deal with people. You've mentioned your wife through this, Charles.
Obviously this journey probably you said that you know it
(31:51):
affected her deeply. It wasn't easy. You do have a family.
What did she do in the midst of all of
this from when you're in the middle of it too,
then obviously when the precipice happened and she said, hey,
you got to go get help to now kind of
how has she been a partner to you.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Personally? I mean, I mean, it's it's I think it's
the reason I've been able to stay with it and
stick with it. It's reason I went and it's the
reason I've been able to stay with it. I think
support in the journey is so important. You have to
do it for yourself first and foremost. They kind of
teach you like you have to do it, Like you
can't just say, hey, I'm doing this just to save
my marriage. I'm doing this just to keep my you know,
(32:33):
if you're younger, keep my parents off my back. You
have to want to do it for it to stick.
You know. What got me there was to be like
you know, early on was probably like, yes, I want
to keep my marriage together. But then what makes it
stick is doing it for yourself, but man, the support,
it just makes the journey so much more enjoyable. And
I mean she she even started getting involved in, you know,
(32:58):
in the Allen On which is kind of the the
AA for for spouses or kids and people in that journey,
and so she dug in man, and she's always had
a much stronger connection with her faith than I have.
And so, you know, it's it's she's been really patient
with me and kind of it's it's been kind of
a cool, interesting, you know, kind of connection that we've
(33:20):
you know, tried to kind of even you know, garner
more now than before. But she always it was different.
It was almost like before I got sober, I always
felt like it was constant babysitting and she was just
getting on to me. And so there's a lot of
tension towards the end where it was like I'm a
grown man, I'm going to do what I'm gonna do,
(33:42):
and it just was a lot of this, you know,
and then afterwards I realized it was just this incredible
worry and like sadness at what I was, you know,
where I was heading and what I was doing to her.
And so then you know, I don't know. Now, it's
just feels like we just constantly stay on it. You know,
it's it's our It's a new connection point too that
(34:05):
we have, you know, her Alan on and this you
know AA and this journey that I'm kind of on,
and we can we're both equally trying to help other people.
It kind of in our sphere that just we get
sent so many people. I mean, my wife I thinks
helps more people than I have. I mean, she's you know,
(34:27):
especially a lot of other wives that are going through
the same thing where it could be you know, whether
with their husbands what they could be an artist or not.
But I feel like we're kind of both letting that
be a little bit part of almost like our giving back,
you know, in a small way is just really sharing
our journey with with with these people. And that's probably
(34:48):
the best thing you can do, is just share your
journey and and you know, and not tell them, hey,
well this is what you should do or shouldn't do.
Is like this is what I did. You know, this
is what we did. And but I do think when
you have someone, especially a spouse, that can kind of
walk alongside you, it makes it a lot, a lot
easier because I do have friends where it's you know,
(35:09):
the spouses are like, well, listen, this is not my fault,
it's not my journey. I'm not like. But man, when
you have someone that does, and you create that empathy
because you know, none of us want to like, no
one wanted to become an alcoholic, it's just this thing,
and you've become not yourself. And so I don't know.
I think she just always kind of saw the man
inside me, you know, and and and I don't know
(35:34):
that the insane amount of forgiveness, insane amount of uh,
you know, grace through the journey, and but I think
it's made her stronger to where now she she has
even this you know, extra extra purpose to to to
help other other other women, you know, women are going
through the same thing. So it's been it's been pretty cool. Man.
(35:55):
I've really I'm amazed how much she juggles and uh,
you know, a lot more than I have to juggle.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
The word that comes up a lot during this conversation
is respect, and it sounds like her respect for you
is incredible. She sees the man you are, she sees
the dad you are, the husband you are, and the
respect that she has for you to also forgive and
to say let's do this together to me is.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Encouraging and incredible to hear.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
And I do I think one of the problems with
you know, I've had a history of addiction, not alcohol,
but painkillers. And one of the things that is the
scariest during those moments, or just one of the things
that haunts you the most is the aloneness that you
believe can come from admitting it or also trying to
work through it. So to have people rally around you
(36:50):
in a way that's not this, oh I'm so sorry
for you maybe yeah, but a uplifting like hey, you're
better than this, yeah, is helped me personally at least.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (37:03):
Well, that's been the last few minutes here. I do
want to talk about this new project, Songs for a
New Moon. It's it's just rooted in gratitude, second chances,
and clarity. Obviously, we've talked so much about kind of
what brought you to this new project. You mentioned that
you wanted to sound like it was from the eighties,
(37:24):
but what kind of as an artist and I've gotten
to speak to a few of them, I think it's
very interesting. I don't operate this way, but you're sitting
in church putting melodies to hymnals. Obviously music is an
outlet and also your passion. But what made you finally say, yes,
this is a project I want to put out into
the world.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Honestly, I mean, I think we just I just started writing. Really,
I mean, you know, I just started writing, and a
couple of the producers I was just writing with producer writers,
you know, coming there, and all of a sudden, he's
like playing this really cool synth, you know, melody, and
I'm like, gosh, that's fun. And we wrote this song
(38:07):
and I was like, that's the most fun I've ever
had in the writing room since the beginning, because it
felt so new, you know. And I was like, but
obviously the band can't do this. This isn't country. And
I was like, I can't, you know, you couldn't even
throw a steal over this or a mandolin er and
try to convince people it's a country record. And they're like,
I mean, but I was like, but god, it just
(38:29):
it feels so good. And so all walked away. Was like,
I don't know what I'm going to do with this,
you know, other than completely changed production, but that's what
made it so cool. It was an eighties song and
I just I sent it to my manager and she
was like, this is amazing, like and I said, like,
you know, my publisher and they were like, there's something here, man,
I don't know, but I don't know what you're going
to do with it. And I said I don't know either.
So then I just kind of went back, like, you know,
(38:50):
next time we wrote together and we wrote another one,
and I was like, all right, I'm seeing it now,
like this is the theme and the lyrics are very
much my journey, this self awareness journey. I've always loved singing,
Like I grew up playing in cover bands. I always
loved singing like Brian Adams songs and Journey songs and like,
(39:13):
I just love That's something I grew up, you know.
I was born eighty one, so grew up listening to
all that stuff when I was you know, driving the
car with my mom. And I just have it so
much in me. And we've always been, you know, a
much more contemporary pop country band, you know, so like
needs you now is you know, it's definitely much more
(39:35):
of a you know probably the populist of our of
our songs and most popular. But my voice is it's
not been a traditional country voice, so it's always felt
like I can kind of go into this world, you know,
without it feeling like he's putting on something. You know,
it's still my voice, it's just under a different bet
of music. And gosh, it was just fun. Man, it
(39:55):
was like fun to let it all out. I was like,
you know, I remember or having these conversations. Do you
want like partner with the label lists is like, man,
They're not going to know what to do with this.
I don't know what to do with this. Let me
just make it. You know. I've been fortunate enough to,
you know, have some success. I was like, let me
pay for it, let me have fun. I'll promote it.
If I make my money back, great, if not, dude,
(40:18):
this is just so much fun. It's been fun to
see the doors kind of open up with it. I've
been even hasn't come out yet, but I'm like been
hosting this yacht rock meets country thing on a serious
exem that they're going to put out where I'm like
interviewing some other my you know, country artist friends and
their love of yacht rock, and it's just it's just fun. Man.
I'm at a place where I'm like, if it feels good,
(40:41):
I want to try it. I'm going to go for
it and have fun. And you know, it's like I've
got the mothership, which is the band that's that's you know,
that's the bread and butter and something that will always
I want to protect and you know, cherish, but then
kind of take some chances over here and have some
fun and if you know, if a couple of them
fly and do something cool, that's great. And if they don't,
(41:02):
I mean, yeah, you're gonna be like I'm a little
bummed out. But like I'm so proud of the record,
Like I know, it's a cool record. I feel like
it's a cool record, and like when people hear it,
I love it. But it's hard for me at you know,
forty four to like break through in a way I
think like we did in the beginning with like Discoveries.
So I have a really i think healthy, like expectation
(41:26):
for it. But it's been fun to see it kind
of build and grow and and you know, I already
had a couple of top tens on like Adult Contemporary
I mean that's what it is. It's soft rock. It's
just and it's kind of cool to see, like, all right,
this is something different, man, this is fun.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
The uh it at some level too though it's also reflective.
And I when you're writing this stuff and sharing your
journey and the lyrics to your life, you said it
was fun.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
I hear.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
I would think, like some of this would be very
difficult to have to put on the paper for for.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
Sure, for sure, But like, I think that's what I
love about that. Some of them are difficult subject matter,
like Can't Lose You, but gosh, the track feels fun
and the track makes you feel it's it's it's so
I would say it's almost more inspiring than if that's
what it was meant for. It's like, dude, hey, like
I was down in the down in the dirt here,
you know, and then I saw the light. I mean
(42:22):
that's kind of the type that's not a specific lyric
any song. Yeah, I can be a little more poetic
than that down in the dirt I saw the light
here would go. But uh, but but you know, there's
it's that's a lot of that theme. And I mean
definitely some of the you know, the more you know
vulnerable ones, you know, I don't know, I just I
(42:44):
am so maybe I just I think the biggest aying
for me through journeys, like you talked to, just just
shed the shame. And I just not in this world
where it's like that was me and I don't hold
on to the sadness or the shame like of it.
I don't know. And it's really just because I know
(43:06):
it wasn't me, and so I don't know. I move
forward so I can kind of reflect on something and
look at it almost like wow, I don't even recognize
that guy, but I was that guy, and I think
that's I think it's you know, if anything, if there's
any inspiration in my journey is just like especially for couples,
(43:26):
is like separate the man or the woman from the disease.
I mean it is like it's people can make mistakes,
giant mistakes and come back from it. And you know,
I think when someone does and you give a chance
after listen all like totally but like I don't know, man,
(43:49):
I mean if my wife had not been with me
and stuck with me through this, and she I think
she came close to not but there's that one decision
that just changed the trajectory of my life, our life,
our family's life. And so I don't know. I just
think we're more resilient people than we give ourselves credit for.
(44:10):
And and if that's not God, and that's not faith,
then then what is it?
Speaker 3 (44:17):
And so you know, and those are those that's that's
where I'm finding it, you know. Yeah, it definitely has
to come from something greater, something pulling us to a
place of love, of elimiting the shame, of moving forward
in the best way we know how. Hey, final thing
for you, Charles, it's it's so fun to talk to you.
And obviously I wish uh And in a lot of ways,
(44:41):
I do wish this was a golf podcast because we
could have satized the last thirty minutes just as easy.
But the thing greater to me always is people finding
a pursuit of a God that loves, a God that
has intervened, a God that's accessible. It changed my life
(45:02):
and it sounds like it's changed yours. But professionally, as
we close, obviously we've we've talked about songs for a
new Moon. It's worth going to listen to. But what
else is on the horizon obviously with Lady A, with
you personally, kind of what can people look out for
get excited about.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
We're working on a new record, you know, the band
we're in right now working on our next record, and man,
it's the longest time we've we've taken between records. But
we're working with a new producer, this guy Jay Joyce,
and he's he's done a lot of those Eric Church
records and like some Miranda Lambert, Patty Griffin, so he's
kind of a little more edgy, and so I'm excited
(45:41):
to see what our sound and these songs sound with
a little more edge underneath, and so far it's just
it's been refreshing. And you know, I don't know again,
we're we don't have We feel like we don't have
much we have to prove, but we have a lot
proved ourselves. And you know, we're not as you know,
(46:04):
as obviously as hot and on the top of the
charts as we were during Need You Now. And that's
this natural ebb and flow. We've been a band twenty
years and when I look at all my heroes and influences,
they have these ebbs and flows and these peaks and valleys,
and so I don't know, I want us to be
one of those bands where it's like just when you
think you're not, you know, you've heard everything you needed
(46:26):
to hear. It's like, Dad, come, did you hear Lady
A's new song? And I feel like that that could
be a moment that we're on right now because it
feels like it's again some of the most honest music
we've made and real, and we're not just we're not
trying to make you know, I would say just cliche
hit songs. We're trying to make a record top to bottom.
(46:47):
And I think it's the first time we've really put
the industry out of our mind and just said what
kind of record do we want to make? And I
think some of that has come from me making this record.
I brought some of that energy in there and was like,
what kind of record do you want to make? Hillary?
What kind of record do you want to make? Dave like,
let's let's do that, you know. And so it's been fun.
(47:07):
I mean, our you know, no telling, we're it all lead.
But I just I love, I love where we are
as a band and and just enjoying it. You know,
we're balancing these. I mean it's a lot of family.
We have nine kids between the three of us, so
balancing family and career, especially when it comes to touring,
(47:29):
it's it's constant, you know, schedules. I mean, our calendar
looks like a Dagon Tetris game where it's like different
colors for different so you know, it's just it's part
of it. It's our normal, and I love how we're
managing it and learning how to manage it now with
more like respect, especially myself, you know, where I can
like sit there and be like, all right, you know,
(47:50):
someone's daughter has a has a play. We're gona have
to not do this show. That's is what it is.
And because it's priorities and so I think it's been
really it's been a great or miner of me too.
It's taught me to not try to not just don't
live for work, you know. So what a twenty years together?
Twenty years, dude, what a while change from the beginnings
(48:15):
to now nine kids between you all and navigating life
you lady A is incredible And obviously, as I said, beginning,
the accomplishments speak for themselves and the recognition you don't
have anything to prove. I agree with you, but the
gift of Lady's music and your music is a gift
to all of us. And so maybe.
Speaker 3 (48:36):
As I get excited for this new project to be released,
for more projects from you to be released, it's not
because you have anything to prove, but it's because I,
as the listener, and you guys enjoy still doing it.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
Charles Kelly, thank you for being man.
Speaker 3 (48:52):
I just want to say it's it's not uncommon, but
it isn't something you have of day where somebody of
your stature, of your level of success, of your public notoriety,
is also willing to be as vulnerable as you are
about the struggles and the journey you've been on. It's
only going to help myself and the people that listen.
(49:14):
So thanks for doing this, and we'll be excited for
the music that comes from it.
Speaker 1 (49:19):
I love it, man. We let's tee it up sometime.
My game is not in good shape, so this If
you ever want to destroy me, this is the time
to do it. Deal. I'll take you of that. I'm awful,
all right, buddy. Thank you? Take care. Hey friends, thanks
for listening or watching.
Speaker 3 (49:33):
Would you take a second follow subscribe and drop a comment.
It really helps
We're working on a new record, but we would get
in some conversations and especially like some some heated little debates.
For me, when I view religion, I feel, I truly
believe that we are all praying to the same God.
This isn't a club. And just because someone is unsure
(00:20):
about joining your club while they're excluded, I don't know,
like you feel like people will judge you why does
he not have a drink? And then you start realizing
no one cares.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Welcome to If you can hear me a space where
culture meets the soul, I'm Ben Higgins. You may know
me from The Bachelor, and you may know my guests
from culture, Headlines and entertainment. This podcast is about going
beyond the surface into something deeper. Each week we sit
down for open conversations about identity, faith, and the realities
(00:50):
underneath it all. At its heart, this podcast is about
creating space for people to slow down and speak freely.
Not polished interviews or perfect answers, just real discussions that
are unfiltered.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I invite you to lean in and enjoy the conversation.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Charles Kelly, this has been an interview I've been very
excited about for a while.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Well, I appreciate it, man. It's cool to get to
see you. Before we you know, before we got on,
we were chatting a little bit about golf. So I'm
already like I'm in my I'm in my wheelhouse now,
you know. Yeah, it's just it's a tactic to get
you comfortable.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Yeah, it is the you know, I could sit and
I feel like I have a good touch on the
celebrities who play golf.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Uh. It is. It is like the feat it's the
competitors that I compete against that I never beat. Uh.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
And So I've you know, seen you, watched you play,
You've gotten to do some cool things in your life.
And today, I mean, so many people know you from
Lady A uh and and so many people are fans
of you, but today is really about kind of like
uncovering who you are as a person. And I think
that's always most like interesting and exciting thing for me. Well,
(02:04):
that's awesome, man. I appreciate you having me. No, I
love talking.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
I love talking about some of the journey, especially I'm
sure we'll get into it, you know, a little bit
of the sobriety journey I've been through, which I think
is probably one of the biggest reasons I've gotten a
lot closer to my faith, you know, but it isn't
as traditional. I will say, mine is not like as
you know, maybe like we're you know, like as fundamentals
(02:26):
as some. But I think that's what's cool about faith
and belief is is it's it's a journey and it's
a constant you know, learning to uh, to kind of
find to find it and get that stronger connection as
you go. We had Peter Rowlings on a few weeks ago.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I don't know if you're familiar with Peter, but he's
a comedian and it was really fun. He and I
read a lot of the same people, and it's kind
of where I'll start. It's not the most interesting question
in the world, but when it comes to faith, like
who do you read?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Who do you lean into? For?
Speaker 3 (02:58):
For me and and Peter, it was, you know, the
Campbell's and the Richard Rors. I really find myself learning
a lot and relating to them. But who are you
kind of leaning into? Man?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
I will say that Richard Rhor really definitely maybe feel
a little bit less alone when I read that, just
to be a guy that is just so incredibly knowledgeable
but still had such this I don't know, it's like
said things that was like, wait, that's kind of how
I've been feeling, you know, and that that that God's
(03:33):
kind of all around us, within us all and how
we interact, you know, with each other. Like and so
it's I've always struggled, you know, growing up going to church,
and I've struggled to separate sometimes human fallibility and church
with with God. And it's like, so when something I
(03:53):
don't agree with goes on with human beings and people
that are inturt then all of a sudden, it makes me.
It taints this relationship and hip, and and I've had
to like separate that, you know from uh, you know
sometimes even the church. I just that's been that's always
been the thing I think that actually kept me from
wanting to develop, to develop a stronger relationship. And so
(04:16):
now I just I found faith through you know, even
in some of these like AA meetings I go to.
Now you know, I've been sober almost four years, and
I treat that almost like my little Bible study because
you get so it's a it's it does have a
you know a bit of a faith based at least
some sort of belief in a higher power kind of
(04:37):
attached to it. And I think that's I think without that,
it's hard for people to to get through it and
and and and realize there's a reason for you know,
all these things that we go through. So but Richard
Ror was great. What was the other? Was it? Arthur Brooks?
Is that his name? I read some of that one
and then you know, I'll read in the beginning. I
(04:59):
write a lot of that. They call the a Big Book,
and there's a lot of you know, spiritual stuff in there.
But man, I try to just find it in in
human interactions and in moments with my family in quiet
time and you know, we you know, we'll obviously pray
together before you know, dinners at night and stuff. But again,
(05:19):
like I don't go to church, so so again I'm
not this like traditional you know, Christian in that way.
But you know, like my bandmates Dave and Hillary, I
mean they are they're really they have a strong faith
and they always have. I mean Hillary even made a
faith based record with their family and and so you know,
it's been I think cool for them to see me
(05:40):
kind of even slowly like start to develop that relationship.
But it's I still feel like I have so many
questions and I'm still kind of defining what it is.
And I think that's okay. And like even reading you know,
guys like Richard Ror and it's like he's constantly evolving
in his faith and that made me feel a little
(06:03):
less alone and like, yeah, we're all you know, we're
still there's still a lot to learn, there's still a
lot to connect with, and I don't know, it made
me feel really really good, like I don't have to
have it all figured out. I don't have to have
all the answers. I don't have to say or think
I have all the answers yet.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
The little side note, I was just reading the history
of A. I don't know if you knew this, but
one of the initial meetings came from the golf course.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Oh now that I didn't know. I knew how. It
started with the two guys watching the plane take Bob. Yeah.
Oh that's cool. Yeah, I'd recommend looking into it this
when let's start kind of at the beginning. Obviously, you've
been a member of Lady A.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Your breakout I believe came in twenty ten, around that
kind of season. You had a in time platinum hit
need you Know, Needs You Now, Need You Now. I
actually said that wrong, need you Now you Know? Worry
People say that all the time. They're like, man, I
(07:11):
love your hit needs to Know, and I'm like, man,
close the the new project that you're working on is
Songs for a New Moon.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
I did say that, right, you did.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
But obviously your resume as an artist speaks for itself.
With your band and we're gonna I want to do.
I want to lean into your new project a little bit.
But I'm curious because I think in the fundamental Church
or in the church in general, when you're so close
to somebody who isn't pursuing God and isn't feeling connected
(07:43):
to God, it feels like a calling or an obligation
whatever you want to put on it to kind of
help that person and speak into that person. Did you
feel that pressure kind of? I mean, you just said that.
Your bandmates, I think are very excited about that, the
path that you're on. But before all this, yeah, how
(08:04):
do they stand beside you?
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Man? They were really understated. They they've never been pushy
or anything, And I mean, I think that's one of
the things I always loved about it. But we would
get in some conversations and especially like some some heated,
heated little debates, and I was always just to impress
at how like firm they were and well, well I
(08:27):
believe that's believe it. I'm always like, well, why what
is this? Well, how can you explain this? And it
was all and so, you know, I think that's the
thing that I've found is like my you know, whatever
your belief or or disbelief, it's not up to you
to try to convince I get what you're saying, like
(08:47):
like you definitely want to spread the word and brave
and and there is some of that. I mean, I
think they always prayed for me. I know when I
when I got sober, I mean that was one of
the things that were like Hillary and Day were like
I prayed for this, and I prayed that you as
then I kind of shared my stronger connections, like I
prayed that you would get this stronger connection. My dad
really did too. My dad was always like, I really
(09:08):
want you to try and I'm like, man, I'm trying to.
I'm just like these questions are hard for me to
wrap my head around and justify. And so it's really
interesting to me. I think there was a way that
they did it that was so subtle, and they knew
that's the way to do it. With me is I mean,
if you sit there and try to push it and
push it, I'm the kind of guy I'm going to
(09:29):
go even further and further away. And so I think
that's that's that delicate balance that you know with anyone
that you know wants to try to share share their beliefs.
You kind of have to read people and see how
they're going to take it. But I don't know. For me,
I've just uh, I think they always, like I said,
(09:52):
prayed for it, and I think it's brought us so
much closer because I think we feel a little bit
more connected now, like I'm not this just this outlier
who's you know, kind of living for the moment only.
And that was how I kind of always felt. I
would justify that for a lot of the drinking I
did too. I was like, listen, man, life's about collecting
as many heightened moments as you can. Let's freaking go
(10:14):
out here, Let's have the most the best shows, you know,
freaking live it up that night, and that's a moment.
And then we go on, we try to do that
again and again and again. But I don't think I
could always tell there was a part of me was like, well,
what am I here for? And what is my purpose?
And and I really felt like two people like respect
(10:35):
me though like my friends at the end of the day,
I'm like, I know we're friends, but like I want
to be a guy where they look I'm like, that's
a good guy, you know, and that guy's that guy
stands for something. So I think that's that's been the
journey I've been on. I feel like is I feel
like it's almost like a second half of life, you
know that Richard Rorer talks about. And I really feel
like I'm on it where I'm like, wow, this is
(10:56):
like a chance for me to you know, put aside
this this guy and just go, okay, now, what what's
this journey going to look like? And treat it almost
as my new adventure, you know, in life. And so
it's it's been kind of cool to to chase that down.
And I mean to get to like, you know, this
(11:17):
solo record I'd made, you know, after a few years
of being in this I was like, man, I kind
of want to share this journey in this like excitement
and joy and the blessings I've been kind of given
from it, and the vulnerability and honesty because there was
it was a hard journey, and I mean I put
people through a lot, especially my wife, and so it
(11:37):
was kind of cool for me to be able to
have this like cathartic moment make a solo record out
of that. You know, I couldn't go to the band
and say, hey, guys, I want to do this record.
Oh yeah, And also I wanted to sound like it
came out in the eighties, so so I think I'll
right off the bat, it was like, Okay, this needs
to be, you know, something for me just to do.
And so it's all kind of in there, all the
(11:58):
struggle and the joy and the you know, just that
self awareness is in that in this record. Of one
of the things I'm picking up on is you're a
very curious human. You know a lot of these big
questions I think, and it's one of if I was
to get on my soapbox. It's one of the underrated
(12:20):
skill sets and personality types within any faith tradition is
the curiosity to say, hey, that doesn't settle well with me.
Let me sit on this for a second, ask the
questions explored a little bit. Maybe there's no answers, and
that's okay, But do you feel comfortable with the curiosity
or is that for now? I do? I? You know,
(12:43):
I think for me, And again, I know this is
hard for some people here because it's like they get
so into their thing. But for me, when I view religion,
I feel I truly believe that we are all praying
to the same God, and we have. Over the history
of religion, it has just, you know, it keeps drifting
(13:04):
off to different you know kind of you know, ways
to believe or or or or different you know, specific ideologies.
But really, I truly believe in my heart that everybody
and from all different religions we are praying to the
same God, and we just have defined it in different
ways and put different uh drapes around it, you know.
(13:27):
But that's just me, and that's and that's and and
I feel like, well, it's also Paul.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
I mean when you read Paul's words of you know,
he goes into Athens and he's like, hey, here's this,
you know, the statue of the Unnamed God. I want
to tell you this the unnamed God is you've tried
all this stuff, You've been praying to something greater than yourself.
You know, there's something greater out there. Let me communicate
to you what you know. I believe that God is.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Well and doesn't I tell you that there's just this
innate ability in all of us that we we know
and feel there's something something greater, and then we we
wanted to we want to define it, and I think
we all, you know, have found different ways of defining it.
And the thing that always didn't sit well with me
was like, depending on what family you grew up in,
(14:14):
is what you were going to believe in. And so
to say like, Okay, well this person can't go to
heaven because that's and it's like, well, okay, well that's
all they've known, they grew up there, that's how that's
their thing, and that that was where some arguments really
really got tough for me, you know, especially like you know,
growing up, one of the best friends was this It
(14:35):
was this Jewish Jewish buddy of mine, and I really
struggle when people are like, oh well, and so I
was like, well, no, he's not going to heaven. I'm like, nah,
he's one of the greatest human beings I ever know.
I don't. I don't believe that. I think we're all
finding different ways. And that's that's just the way I believe,
and you know, and and I don't. I don't. I
(14:57):
have a tough time seeing the argument and some of
the some of the criteria to get to heaven and
and and some that aren't just because somebody you know
did this or or lives a certain lifestyle that that
those kind of things really are things I struggle with.
And I'm not a fundamentalist in that way, and and
(15:19):
I totally understand when people are. I just feel like,
for me, man, I I think it's a God of
love and and this not this you know, fire and
brimstone punishment type of type of fate that I live in.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
The there's a quote that you have about putting God
in the box. It's it's a longer quote and it
has some more context to it. But one of the
points you make is that you don't want to put
God in the box. And I read that and I hear,
uh that, Charles, that you believe that God is so
much greater than any you know, words, concepts like that
this God is so big within everything that it's hard
(15:58):
to you know, simplify it in these kind of ways
that we as humans want to simplify it exactly.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Can you speak, it's not a club. It's not a club. Yeah, yeah,
it's not a club, and it's not you know, you're
this isn't a club and it and just because someone
is unsure about joining your club while they're excluded, I
just that whole thing to me is is always going
to be a difficult, a difficult thing to wrap my
head around. And h and again, I'm not very I'm
(16:27):
not incredibly knowledgeable, so in like really really knowledgeable. I mean,
people get into like religious arguments with me and they'll
you know, and I'm like, I'm you're waging for my
pay grade. I haven't delved into any of that. I
get it, and I know this is where you're coming from.
It's what you believe. But I was like, just for
me at least in this journey where I'm at, I mean,
(16:48):
it may change and it's and I think that's why
I'm kind of liking where I'm at, because I'm kind
of letting it show itself. I was like, Dude, there
may be been ten years. I may want to be
one of the strongest Christians, knowledgeable it all, you know,
but like I'll be in you know, want to play
it or something, and We'll be in conversations with David
Hillary and they be like, oh, and this is when
(17:09):
you know, this is when Moses did this. Oh and
this is when Paul and this is when you know Ezekiel.
I'm like, dude, I know the I know, I know
the basics. I was in church, literally, dude, I would
be in church. This is how zoned out. I would
be in church. Sometimes I would be making up songs.
I would open up the hymn book and I would
be making up like melodies in my head to like
(17:33):
the songs in there. Yeah, didn't match whatever it was.
I mean, I just was it was. It was. It
was an interesting you know. I would take little tidbits
and I'd always feel something from the music and the hymns,
and then I would just go into like zone out worlds.
So like, I feel like I went to church pretty
much every Sunday growing up, and then it's like nothing
went in, nothing went in.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Well, I mean, and this is one of the beautiful
things I think about the human experiences this journey of
discovery and questions and exploration and the search for authenticity right.
I mean, one of the things that so many people
today have church trauma with is that the church felt
like it manipulated, persuaded, or pushed them in a direction
(18:17):
that wasn't authentic to maybe who the individuals were. But
you have you wouldn't admit that you're on a journey
of faith right now. What kind of was the catalyst
to that? You grew up in the church, you stopped
attending the church based on what I think I've read,
(18:41):
but then recently you've kind of started to come back
to faith, to a personal relationship with God.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
What caused it? I mean, definitely getting sober. I mean
it was just that felt like such a God moment.
It was when I finally, you know, kind of just
relinquished to it the problems. You know, I kind of
always knew I had a problem over the past, you know,
(19:09):
probably five years leading up to it. I mean I
was always you know, oh, that's a dog, that's a
big boy.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
It's just a it's just a delivery guy who get
his head shoot off.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Yeah we're good, you got oh yeah, what we're talking
about now.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I asked about your kind of like you said, getting
sober was the start today?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Yeah, it was, it was, It was, And like you know,
I'd always been, you know, a drinker. I started drinking,
you know, halfway through fifteen years old in high school.
And it was always part of this this thing that
was just me and it became a part of my identity.
And you know, only got stronger through through through college
(19:55):
at University of Georgia and then and then in a
band and you feel invincible and you know, and I
think that's the thing too with it. I I've shared
it was like there's nothing wrong with drinking. And I
had a lot of great moments and memories. I would
not have probably taken some of the chances if I
hadn't had a little bit of liquid courage running through
me in a many many situations. But for me, it
(20:18):
I couldn't stop it just a few I mean, you
know something nice. I couldn't stop at six or seven.
I mean it needed to just just go to you
couldn't go. But the God moment, man was I mean
I had, you know, without going into all the details,
had this moment where like I was in Greece, a
bunch of friends and like gotten this argument my wife.
(20:40):
It just like turned my phone off. It just disappeared,
just stayed all night drinking and wandering and like so
many bad things could have happened. But eventually, you know,
I turned my phone back on. Calls gets me and
it's like, one, I don't know if I want to
you know, if we're going to be together anymore, and
two you go to reab or we're definitely done. And
(21:03):
I was just like we had this moment and there
was something in her grace and her like forgiveness of
that moment too. It was just like it felt like
such a god moment and all this weight. I was like,
I know, I want to do it. And I started
crying and it was like this realization that something it
just felt bigger than me and my ego and any
(21:25):
of that, and it was like, you're ready, son, let's
do this. And I don't know, it was like as
I was there, I went to this place for a month,
it was like just the release and this like all
the this stuff I was holding on to it just released,
and I you know, we would be hiking through the
(21:48):
mountains and I would just look at nature differently, and
it just felt like such a god moment and it
was the beginning of this this journey, and it keeps
going and I, you know, I feel times where I've
got a really wrong. I'm really I'm really dialed in
and connected, and I feel like, you know, I can
be like like I am now like focusing on my
record and like all I'm thinking about and all I'm
(22:09):
dreaming about is this record of music and stuff, and
so you know, I go in these ebbs and flows
with it. But but hands down, the gift of desperation
of like getting to a point where I needed help
that could have looked like such a negative maybe to
the outside world. I had some people like, oh, I'm
(22:30):
so sorry you had to do that go through I
was like this, this, this is the best thing that
ever happened to me. Like that's hard to describe because
I think they look at it with the stigmas like
this is like was the was the you know, the
knock in the head I needed to like change the
trajectory of my of my life and my faith and
(22:50):
my family in my career, all these things got better.
I'm not saying it's easy. I mean there's definitely moments
that you're like, man, a drink right now will be nice.
I'm really stretched out or whatever, and it's like, well,
I had to find new ways of coping with it,
and and it's just, uh, it was the best thing
that happened to me. And I think that's why they
call it a gift, if you you know, if you
choose to look at like it, look at it that way,
(23:13):
you know. I Mean, sometimes I think there's a lot
of things in people's life that have this profound moment.
It could be a someone passing that just somehow I
don't know that it it it brings them closer to
their faith or whatever it may be, near death experience,
whatever it might be. And for me it was it
was getting sober. I mean, I got really close to
(23:33):
losing it all and I felt it and it felt real,
and it was like, you know, all right, here we go,
it's time. It's time to it's time to do this.
You uh.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
You you mentioned that you tend to lean into God
more in the difficult moments.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Obviously with this journey into sobriety, have you learned how
to lean into God during the good moments too?
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Yeah? It's definitely the beginning. I mean I think most
people it's like something's bad, bad's going on. It's like, God,
please get me through this, get me through this. And
I think that definitely is the beginnings for me. And
then yeah, and then I have so many moments. I've
had more moments in the past year. It felt like
and I got a ten year old boy, and now
I have this seventh, seven month little boy, and it
(24:22):
was it was a big surprise. I mean, we did
not think we were going to have kids. We're not
playing into and just out of nowhere, were like, oh
my gosh. I mean I call that if that's not
a godwink of Like, no way, if I didn't get sober,
we would have had this baby. There's no way. First,
I don't know if my wife would have stayed with
me too, we wouldn't have been as close, and you know,
(24:45):
lack of the obvious is intimate and all these different things.
So but like, yeah, for me, I've just found so
many moments where I'm just like it could be with
them or on a plane even and I'm just like, man,
I'm in a good spot. Thank thank you Lord. You know,
it just like little moments like that, or like being
(25:06):
out on the golf course and instead of it being
all about, you know, just gambling and drinking, I'm out
there going like look at this view. I mean, I'm
here like this is. And so I've had a lot
of those moments, you know, I find them a lot
of nature and especially just moments with my kid. I'm
I feel like my little ten year old is my
(25:27):
little best friend, and I have so many moments where
we would just be together at the end of the night,
reading a book, one of his books together, or you know,
the other couple of weeks ago, he read this book
called Hatchet. So we wanted to go camping, and so we,
you know, we did kind of a you know, a
quick little poor man's camping trip and we just I
don't know, I had so many momentsors like this is special,
(25:49):
this is you know, thank you for getting me here,
you know, and so that's those are God moments, you know,
I really do. I feel like they're in there. You know.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
I think I'll ask an elementary question if you don't mind,
but for somebody out there listening who's in the midst
of some type of struggle, addiction or whatever, it may be.
I think the scary part for so many is, hey,
life beyond this isn't going to be enjoyable. Those you
(26:23):
know you just kind of spoke about at the beginning.
One of the reasons why you know, you wanted to
have a drink at night before it shows, because you
want to make this the biggest you know, it's a
thousand excuses to why we need to just make sure
this is.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Memorable in whatever way we can.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
Can you speak into the what life has looked like,
sober what, Yeah, the joys that come from it also
maybe even the struggles, maybe their fear is real, maybe
everything isn't as great.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Speak to it a little bit. Yeah, I mean, I
think everybody has a little bit of a different journey
with it. But it's crazy how similar the stories are.
The first year it's tough, I mean it is. It's funny.
I think a lot of people like come out of
the first few months and they're like, Okay, I got this,
(27:13):
and they're like man, oh and I'm really into it,
and then it starts getting tough. That three months to
the first year you're just like, oh man, all right,
this little cocktail party I would have to go to,
you know, for me a lot for like work or something.
I'm like, that was that was that was boring. That
was hard, you know, but like I don't know it,
like you feel like people judge you, why does he
(27:34):
not have a drink? And then you start realizing no
one cares what you're drinking or not drinking. No, no
one cares. They just care about the drink. It's in
their own hand. And like some little things like that,
the social aspect of it. I mean, I was like, Okay,
what's what's it going to be like going on stage?
I mean I'd done a couple shows TV like Quick
(27:55):
Appearance without maybe having a drink, but most of the
time's not. I mean, heck, I was even justifying having
a a whiskey before today's show at seven in the
morning because I needed to open my voice up, you know.
And it was always like this little trigger crutch, you know.
And so you find different tools, man, you do and
(28:17):
and and there's certain things I realized, Man, maybe I
really didn't enjoy a lot of those things. I was
just kind of drinking help me get through them and
enjoy them. But maybe I'm not quite as gregarious and
sociable as I thought I was. It was the alcohol.
I missed some of those moments. I miss maybe a
(28:38):
little bit of that looseness. But now I have this realization.
I always, I always know where it was going to go,
and I see it in other people and I'm like,
oh my god, I'm that guy. I was that guy
at this party that literally I'm like, when is he
gonna when is he going to get away? Oh ope,
stop she's talking to an interjector. Oh oh my gosh,
(28:59):
she's about to make a fool himself. And he thinks
he's the life of the party, and all he is
is turning into this egotistical jackass, you know, for lack
of a better word. It's just I can see it
also clearly, and so I think a lot of that
is a part of it is just like, yeah, in
that moment, you think you're having fun, but man, there's
(29:19):
just you don't have to worry about the regrets. I mean,
so many times I'd be stressed out about something or
something i'd done and I have to drink to stop
thinking about what I'd done, you know, wrong, And it
was just like or how I embarrass myself? And I
don't know It's just it's just a different way of looking.
And that's why I look at it as the second
half of life. It's like, this is this was Peter Pan.
(29:39):
He had a blast. It was awesome and it was
also not awesome. There was a lot of great things
and a lot of things I learned from and then
this is kind of this new journey. It was like, Okay,
what kind of man do I want to be? What
kind of example I want to be? What kind of legacy?
You know? Can't just be about hey had some really
great hits on the radio. It can't be about Okay,
(30:02):
you know he was financially successful. What's making me happy?
And what's going to be the mark I'm going to leave?
And you know, and I do you know if there's
a little bit of an egotistical side of it. I
want to be respected in this town. Man. There's a
lot of artists I just look up to and I'm like,
there is a calmness about them. There is a nothing
(30:24):
to prove confidence that I see in some of these
older artists. I'm like, I want to be that, you know,
And I used to be the guy I was like,
look at me, you better like I better come in.
I want you to remember me. So I'm going to
be a little louder. I'm going to be trying to
be a little funnier. And now I find that you
get more of that when you just sit back and
(30:45):
like you know, you find your ways to kind of
kind of you know, interject and read the room and
and a little bit more giving with myself.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
I guess, yeah, Uh, there's a Dave Gibbons is a
past around California, and Dave Gibbons is one of the
most respected people I've ever met, just from anybody that
meets him. And I asked him about a year ago,
I said, how in the world do you do it?
He's great, I know, he's great to be around. And
(31:14):
he just simply looked at me with one of those
whyse you know comments, and he said, because I create
the space, and I think people are just looking for
people that create the space, and he does. He sits
back and he's available.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
He doesn't need to be.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
The loudest person in the room. But when you're with him,
you know he's with you. And I've always found that
to be. In the last year that sat with me
in a way that has changed the way I try
to deal with people. You've mentioned your wife through this, Charles.
Obviously this journey probably you said that you know it
(31:51):
affected her deeply. It wasn't easy. You do have a family.
What did she do in the midst of all of
this from when you're in the middle of it too,
then obviously when the precipice happened and she said, hey,
you got to go get help to now kind of
how has she been a partner to you.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Personally? I mean, I mean, it's it's I think it's
the reason I've been able to stay with it and
stick with it. It's reason I went and it's the
reason I've been able to stay with it. I think
support in the journey is so important. You have to
do it for yourself first and foremost. They kind of
teach you like you have to do it, Like you
can't just say, hey, I'm doing this just to save
my marriage. I'm doing this just to keep my you know,
(32:33):
if you're younger, keep my parents off my back. You
have to want to do it for it to stick.
You know. What got me there was to be like
you know, early on was probably like, yes, I want
to keep my marriage together. But then what makes it
stick is doing it for yourself, but man, the support,
it just makes the journey so much more enjoyable. And
I mean she she even started getting involved in, you know,
(32:58):
in the Allen On which is kind of the the
AA for for spouses or kids and people in that journey,
and so she dug in man, and she's always had
a much stronger connection with her faith than I have.
And so, you know, it's it's she's been really patient
with me and kind of it's it's been kind of
a cool, interesting, you know, kind of connection that we've
(33:20):
you know, tried to kind of even you know, garner
more now than before. But she always it was different.
It was almost like before I got sober, I always
felt like it was constant babysitting and she was just
getting on to me. And so there's a lot of
tension towards the end where it was like I'm a
grown man, I'm going to do what I'm gonna do,
(33:42):
and it just was a lot of this, you know,
and then afterwards I realized it was just this incredible
worry and like sadness at what I was, you know,
where I was heading and what I was doing to her.
And so then you know, I don't know. Now, it's
just feels like we just constantly stay on it. You know,
it's it's our It's a new connection point too that
(34:05):
we have, you know, her Alan on and this you
know AA and this journey that I'm kind of on,
and we can we're both equally trying to help other people.
It kind of in our sphere that just we get
sent so many people. I mean, my wife I thinks
helps more people than I have. I mean, she's you know,
(34:27):
especially a lot of other wives that are going through
the same thing where it could be you know, whether
with their husbands what they could be an artist or not.
But I feel like we're kind of both letting that
be a little bit part of almost like our giving back,
you know, in a small way is just really sharing
our journey with with with these people. And that's probably
(34:48):
the best thing you can do, is just share your
journey and and you know, and not tell them, hey,
well this is what you should do or shouldn't do.
Is like this is what I did. You know, this
is what we did. And but I do think when
you have someone, especially a spouse, that can kind of
walk alongside you, it makes it a lot, a lot
easier because I do have friends where it's you know,
(35:09):
the spouses are like, well, listen, this is not my fault,
it's not my journey. I'm not like. But man, when
you have someone that does, and you create that empathy
because you know, none of us want to like, no
one wanted to become an alcoholic, it's just this thing,
and you've become not yourself. And so I don't know.
I think she just always kind of saw the man
inside me, you know, and and and I don't know
(35:34):
that the insane amount of forgiveness, insane amount of uh,
you know, grace through the journey, and but I think
it's made her stronger to where now she she has
even this you know, extra extra purpose to to to
help other other other women, you know, women are going
through the same thing. So it's been it's been pretty cool. Man.
(35:55):
I've really I'm amazed how much she juggles and uh,
you know, a lot more than I have to juggle.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
The word that comes up a lot during this conversation
is respect, and it sounds like her respect for you
is incredible. She sees the man you are, she sees
the dad you are, the husband you are, and the
respect that she has for you to also forgive and
to say let's do this together to me is.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Encouraging and incredible to hear.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
And I do I think one of the problems with
you know, I've had a history of addiction, not alcohol,
but painkillers. And one of the things that is the
scariest during those moments, or just one of the things
that haunts you the most is the aloneness that you
believe can come from admitting it or also trying to
work through it. So to have people rally around you
(36:50):
in a way that's not this, oh I'm so sorry
for you maybe yeah, but a uplifting like hey, you're
better than this, yeah, is helped me personally at least.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (37:03):
Well, that's been the last few minutes here. I do
want to talk about this new project, Songs for a
New Moon. It's it's just rooted in gratitude, second chances,
and clarity. Obviously, we've talked so much about kind of
what brought you to this new project. You mentioned that
you wanted to sound like it was from the eighties,
(37:24):
but what kind of as an artist and I've gotten
to speak to a few of them, I think it's
very interesting. I don't operate this way, but you're sitting
in church putting melodies to hymnals. Obviously music is an
outlet and also your passion. But what made you finally say, yes,
this is a project I want to put out into
the world.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Honestly, I mean, I think we just I just started writing. Really,
I mean, you know, I just started writing, and a
couple of the producers I was just writing with producer writers,
you know, coming there, and all of a sudden, he's
like playing this really cool synth, you know, melody, and
I'm like, gosh, that's fun. And we wrote this song
(38:07):
and I was like, that's the most fun I've ever
had in the writing room since the beginning, because it
felt so new, you know. And I was like, but
obviously the band can't do this. This isn't country. And
I was like, I can't, you know, you couldn't even
throw a steal over this or a mandolin er and
try to convince people it's a country record. And they're like,
I mean, but I was like, but god, it just
(38:29):
it feels so good. And so all walked away. Was like,
I don't know what I'm going to do with this,
you know, other than completely changed production, but that's what
made it so cool. It was an eighties song and
I just I sent it to my manager and she
was like, this is amazing, like and I said, like,
you know, my publisher and they were like, there's something here, man,
I don't know, but I don't know what you're going
to do with it. And I said I don't know either.
So then I just kind of went back, like, you know,
(38:50):
next time we wrote together and we wrote another one,
and I was like, all right, I'm seeing it now,
like this is the theme and the lyrics are very
much my journey, this self awareness journey. I've always loved singing,
Like I grew up playing in cover bands. I always
loved singing like Brian Adams songs and Journey songs and like,
(39:13):
I just love That's something I grew up, you know.
I was born eighty one, so grew up listening to
all that stuff when I was you know, driving the
car with my mom. And I just have it so
much in me. And we've always been, you know, a
much more contemporary pop country band, you know, so like
needs you now is you know, it's definitely much more
(39:35):
of a you know probably the populist of our of
our songs and most popular. But my voice is it's
not been a traditional country voice, so it's always felt
like I can kind of go into this world, you know,
without it feeling like he's putting on something. You know,
it's still my voice, it's just under a different bet
of music. And gosh, it was just fun. Man, it
(39:55):
was like fun to let it all out. I was like,
you know, I remember or having these conversations. Do you
want like partner with the label lists is like, man,
They're not going to know what to do with this.
I don't know what to do with this. Let me
just make it. You know. I've been fortunate enough to,
you know, have some success. I was like, let me
pay for it, let me have fun. I'll promote it.
If I make my money back, great, if not, dude,
(40:18):
this is just so much fun. It's been fun to
see the doors kind of open up with it. I've
been even hasn't come out yet, but I'm like been
hosting this yacht rock meets country thing on a serious
exem that they're going to put out where I'm like
interviewing some other my you know, country artist friends and
their love of yacht rock, and it's just it's just fun. Man.
I'm at a place where I'm like, if it feels good,
(40:41):
I want to try it. I'm going to go for
it and have fun. And you know, it's like I've
got the mothership, which is the band that's that's you know,
that's the bread and butter and something that will always
I want to protect and you know, cherish, but then
kind of take some chances over here and have some
fun and if you know, if a couple of them
fly and do something cool, that's great. And if they don't,
(41:02):
I mean, yeah, you're gonna be like I'm a little
bummed out. But like I'm so proud of the record,
Like I know, it's a cool record. I feel like
it's a cool record, and like when people hear it,
I love it. But it's hard for me at you know,
forty four to like break through in a way I
think like we did in the beginning with like Discoveries.
So I have a really i think healthy, like expectation
(41:26):
for it. But it's been fun to see it kind
of build and grow and and you know, I already
had a couple of top tens on like Adult Contemporary
I mean that's what it is. It's soft rock. It's
just and it's kind of cool to see, like, all right,
this is something different, man, this is fun.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
The uh it at some level too though it's also reflective.
And I when you're writing this stuff and sharing your
journey and the lyrics to your life, you said it
was fun.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
I hear.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
I would think, like some of this would be very
difficult to have to put on the paper for for.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
Sure, for sure, But like, I think that's what I
love about that. Some of them are difficult subject matter,
like Can't Lose You, but gosh, the track feels fun
and the track makes you feel it's it's it's so
I would say it's almost more inspiring than if that's
what it was meant for. It's like, dude, hey, like
I was down in the down in the dirt here,
you know, and then I saw the light. I mean
(42:22):
that's kind of the type that's not a specific lyric
any song. Yeah, I can be a little more poetic
than that down in the dirt I saw the light
here would go. But uh, but but you know, there's
it's that's a lot of that theme. And I mean
definitely some of the you know, the more you know
vulnerable ones, you know, I don't know, I just I
(42:44):
am so maybe I just I think the biggest aying
for me through journeys, like you talked to, just just
shed the shame. And I just not in this world
where it's like that was me and I don't hold
on to the sadness or the shame like of it.
I don't know. And it's really just because I know
(43:06):
it wasn't me, and so I don't know. I move
forward so I can kind of reflect on something and
look at it almost like wow, I don't even recognize
that guy, but I was that guy, and I think
that's I think it's you know, if anything, if there's
any inspiration in my journey is just like especially for couples,
(43:26):
is like separate the man or the woman from the disease.
I mean it is like it's people can make mistakes,
giant mistakes and come back from it. And you know,
I think when someone does and you give a chance
after listen all like totally but like I don't know, man,
(43:49):
I mean if my wife had not been with me
and stuck with me through this, and she I think
she came close to not but there's that one decision
that just changed the trajectory of my life, our life,
our family's life. And so I don't know. I just
think we're more resilient people than we give ourselves credit for.
(44:10):
And and if that's not God, and that's not faith,
then then what is it?
Speaker 3 (44:17):
And so you know, and those are those that's that's
where I'm finding it, you know. Yeah, it definitely has
to come from something greater, something pulling us to a
place of love, of elimiting the shame, of moving forward
in the best way we know how. Hey, final thing
for you, Charles, it's it's so fun to talk to you.
And obviously I wish uh And in a lot of ways,
(44:41):
I do wish this was a golf podcast because we
could have satized the last thirty minutes just as easy.
But the thing greater to me always is people finding
a pursuit of a God that loves, a God that
has intervened, a God that's accessible. It changed my life
(45:02):
and it sounds like it's changed yours. But professionally, as
we close, obviously we've we've talked about songs for a
new Moon. It's worth going to listen to. But what
else is on the horizon obviously with Lady A, with
you personally, kind of what can people look out for
get excited about.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
We're working on a new record, you know, the band
we're in right now working on our next record, and man,
it's the longest time we've we've taken between records. But
we're working with a new producer, this guy Jay Joyce,
and he's he's done a lot of those Eric Church
records and like some Miranda Lambert, Patty Griffin, so he's
kind of a little more edgy, and so I'm excited
(45:41):
to see what our sound and these songs sound with
a little more edge underneath, and so far it's just
it's been refreshing. And you know, I don't know again,
we're we don't have We feel like we don't have
much we have to prove, but we have a lot
proved ourselves. And you know, we're not as you know,
(46:04):
as obviously as hot and on the top of the
charts as we were during Need You Now. And that's
this natural ebb and flow. We've been a band twenty
years and when I look at all my heroes and influences,
they have these ebbs and flows and these peaks and valleys,
and so I don't know, I want us to be
one of those bands where it's like just when you
think you're not, you know, you've heard everything you needed
(46:26):
to hear. It's like, Dad, come, did you hear Lady
A's new song? And I feel like that that could
be a moment that we're on right now because it
feels like it's again some of the most honest music
we've made and real, and we're not just we're not
trying to make you know, I would say just cliche
hit songs. We're trying to make a record top to bottom.
(46:47):
And I think it's the first time we've really put
the industry out of our mind and just said what
kind of record do we want to make? And I
think some of that has come from me making this record.
I brought some of that energy in there and was like,
what kind of record do you want to make? Hillary?
What kind of record do you want to make? Dave like,
let's let's do that, you know. And so it's been fun.
(47:07):
I mean, our you know, no telling, we're it all lead.
But I just I love, I love where we are
as a band and and just enjoying it. You know,
we're balancing these. I mean it's a lot of family.
We have nine kids between the three of us, so
balancing family and career, especially when it comes to touring,
(47:29):
it's it's constant, you know, schedules. I mean, our calendar
looks like a Dagon Tetris game where it's like different
colors for different so you know, it's just it's part
of it. It's our normal, and I love how we're
managing it and learning how to manage it now with
more like respect, especially myself, you know, where I can
like sit there and be like, all right, you know,
(47:50):
someone's daughter has a has a play. We're gona have
to not do this show. That's is what it is.
And because it's priorities and so I think it's been
really it's been a great or miner of me too.
It's taught me to not try to not just don't
live for work, you know. So what a twenty years together?
Twenty years, dude, what a while change from the beginnings
(48:15):
to now nine kids between you all and navigating life
you lady A is incredible And obviously, as I said, beginning,
the accomplishments speak for themselves and the recognition you don't
have anything to prove. I agree with you, but the
gift of Lady's music and your music is a gift
to all of us. And so maybe.
Speaker 3 (48:36):
As I get excited for this new project to be released,
for more projects from you to be released, it's not
because you have anything to prove, but it's because I,
as the listener, and you guys enjoy still doing it.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
Charles Kelly, thank you for being man.
Speaker 3 (48:52):
I just want to say it's it's not uncommon, but
it isn't something you have of day where somebody of
your stature, of your level of success, of your public notoriety,
is also willing to be as vulnerable as you are
about the struggles and the journey you've been on. It's
only going to help myself and the people that listen.
(49:14):
So thanks for doing this, and we'll be excited for
the music that comes from it.
Speaker 1 (49:19):
I love it, man. We let's tee it up sometime.
My game is not in good shape, so this If
you ever want to destroy me, this is the time
to do it. Deal. I'll take you of that. I'm awful,
all right, buddy. Thank you? Take care. Hey friends, thanks
for listening or watching.
Speaker 3 (49:33):
Would you take a second follow subscribe and drop a comment.
It really helps
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