How Vulnerability and Faith Shape Family and Parenting w/ Trista Sutter

Go beyond the headlines with Ben Higgins as he sits down at the 2026 Super Bowl with Trista Sutter—the very first Bachelorette—for a candid conversation on identity, faith, and parenting teens. Trista opens up about navigating her evolving motherhood journey, instilling faith in her kids, and the vulnerability required to keep honest connections at home. The pair discuss their own spiritual outlooks, the power of modeling values, and practical ways to encourage openness between parents and children. If you’re a parent wondering if you’re “doing enough,” or someone interested in the intersection of faith and family, don’t miss this heartful exchange.

TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Kicking Off With Trista Sutter
00:34 Motherhood and Passing On Faith
02:04 Trista’s Evolving Faith Journey
03:08 Kids Growing in Faith
04:00 Parental Doubts and Hopes
04:31 Trusting and Letting Go
05:24 Faith in Trista and Ryan’s Relationship
05:57 Modeling Faith for Teens
07:00 Communicating Values With Kids
08:00 Vulnerability and Parenting Openness
09:02 Keeping Conversations Honest
10:25 A Son’s Heartfelt Note
11:07 Imperfection and Connection
11:35 The Importance of Staying Open

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to If You Can Hear Me, a space where
culture meets the soul. I'm Ben Higgins. You may know
me and many of my guests from culture and Headlines,
but this podcast is about going beyond the surface into
something deeper. Today we're on location at the twenty twenty
six Super Bowl, connecting with some friends for a brief
conversation about identity, faith and purpose. Let's get into it.

(00:26):
The very first bachelorette. That's me, Trista Sutter. Thank you
for jumping.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
On here, Thanks for having me.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
I'm you know, obviously talking to you a little difficult
because I know so much about you. But there's conversations
that we've we've broached but maybe never dove into. You know,
If you Can Hear Me is meant to be a
bridge between the secular and the sacred. So Trista, as
we kick it off here, I think I want to

(00:56):
ask you and I don't want to do what the
answer is? What's the like the cry of your heart
right now? If somebody was a close friend was sitting
by you, or if you're in prayer and you're saying
can you hear me? Like can you hear what I'm
trying to say.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
What is it?

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Let's see.

Speaker 4 (01:21):
I mean, at this point in my life, I feel
like I'm just kind of coming to the end of
my motherhood's story, and not that it will end when
my kids leave the house, but that's definitely playing on
my heart a lot now. Is just wanting to make

(01:44):
sure that I've done a good job and passed on
things that are important to me and things that I
know will be invaluable to them in their future. And
of those is faith. It's interesting because I was raised Catholic,

(02:08):
and I don't follow Catholicism anymore.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
I was confirmed and baptized and all.

Speaker 4 (02:13):
The things, but consider myself a Christian, and I felt
like I didn't I with.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
The kids when the kids were little.

Speaker 4 (02:28):
I just felt like I wasn't doing a good enough
job at modeling not how important my faith was to
me and Christianity, and.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
They are now at a.

Speaker 4 (02:46):
I don't like to talk about where there are at school, though.
How can I say this without saying that maybe I
don't go there. Sorry, I'm just working through because I
don't want to. I'm trying to keep that part of
the kids' lives private, even though it's getting really really

(03:06):
hard to do that. So I just feel like in
the last couple years, maybe even one year, my kids
have really grown in their faith to the point where
they are both going on essentially mission trips coming up

(03:29):
in the next few months. And it just makes me
really proud because with that, I feel like there's just
hope and there's someone who you can rely on all day,
every day who's always going to be there for you.

(03:53):
And I want them to leave my home with that
belief and knowledge.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
I mean, I think for so many parents, you're you're
at a stage where I'd imagine I'm not there where
you are starting to ask the questions, Yeah, you know,
you already kind of said it. Did I do enough?
Are they going to be okay?

Speaker 4 (04:15):
Right?

Speaker 3 (04:16):
How do you navigate those big questions that really don't
have answers.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
I think you just have faith kind of period in
the story.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
Yeah, you just I mean, you have faith, Yeah, that
what you've done so far is enough.

Speaker 4 (04:32):
Although I will say it is hard to blindly believe that,
because it's not like I believe that God has them
in his hands, like he will take care of them,
so that is at the core of what I believe.
But I also have like that inner demon, you know,
is like did you do enough? Are they prepared? Are

(04:54):
they going to be okay to go out in this
world and thrive and succeed in whatever they want to do?

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Are they going to be a good person?

Speaker 4 (05:03):
Like that is the core of it too, is I
just want I just want them to be good people,
you know, and make decisions that are compassionate and kind,
loving and all the things that I believe Jesus stands for.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
Is faith a large part of your relationship with Ryan?
Like is that a foundation in your in your life?

Speaker 4 (05:32):
I feel like Ryan and I are believers, but he
is very His connection to God is through nature, like
you know, you find him on the top of a
mountain and you know wherever he is.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
I think he just posted the closest I feel that
God is out here.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
Literally what he said.

Speaker 4 (05:52):
Yeah, so, and that's not that's not really my Like, yes,
I am a big fan of nature, but I'm more
of like the you know, the homebody praying in my
bed at night and just it's like an all day,

(06:14):
everyday thing, like you know, at the core of everything
I do. But I don't talk about it all the time.
But he is more just that's that's where he really
tunes into his faith.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
As parents of kids that are teenagers, how are some
ways that you have implemented your faith into their lives?
I mean you mentioned that maybe you felt like, you know,
you didn't make it a priority, or you didn't communicate
it to them maybe or show them that it was
such a priority in your life for so many years.

(06:47):
But now as you become aware of it, how have
you and Ryan started to show them, Hey, this is
something that is valuable to me.

Speaker 4 (06:57):
You know. I think number one is modeling. And I
feel like, you know, when you don't do a good
job at something, that's an opportunity to learn. And I
can look back at my journey as a mother and
know that I probably didn't do the best job when
they were younger, but we as they've gotten older, we've

(07:18):
talked more and more about it, and now I can
be proud of it. But I would say probably the
number one piece of advice would just be to model it.
You know, to do what's important to you should talk
to really just communicate, whether it's at family dinner or
you know, sitting sitting on their bed at night, like

(07:40):
just talking about life.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
You know, before they go to sleep.

Speaker 4 (07:45):
You know, I think a lot of it is modeling
and communication. I let's see what else. I feel like
I had a thought and now it's gone.

Speaker 3 (08:00):
One thing I've always known about you is you have
wrapped your arms around Bachelor Nation and Bachelor contestants. And
one thing I've noticed in spending time with you and
Ryan when you talk about your kids, I think something
I admire is that you have a vulnerability with them,

(08:22):
and they have an access to you where they feel
comfortable coming to you with some of their biggest life
issues or biggest life questions, and they know they can
speak to you and you will speak back with honesty
and openness and vulnerability. Part of that might be that
you showed a lot of this on television and so
there's no hiding.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (08:43):
But as we close up here to parents that are listening,
maybe in similar stages to you, or entering into stages
that will be similar to you at some point, what
advice do you have to them when it comes to
keeping that door open so that the kids feel free
to talk.

Speaker 4 (09:03):
Thank you for that. First of all, I think just
being vulnerable and sharing and also being human. You know,
we all make mistakes, and if I get mad at
them because I'm having a horrible day or a horrible moment,
and I end up, you know, raising my voice or whatever,

(09:24):
I try to immediately when the moment is right, apologize
and say I am so sorry that I took out
my bad day on you, or whatever whatever the case
may be. But I feel like just being human and
being communicative. I don't want to cry in this interview,

(09:47):
and hopefully I won't.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
But Max.

Speaker 4 (09:52):
Just he had this application to fill out for this
mission trip that he's that he's going on, and he
was asked, like, tell us about your family and why
they're important to you, and and he wrote this essay
and turned it in and we didn't see it or anything.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
Well, the leader of his group.

Speaker 4 (10:11):
I see her at some point and she's like, oh
my gosh, I got tears in my eyes reading your
son's letter about your family, and and I was like,
I have.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
To go find this letter.

Speaker 4 (10:25):
So when found the letter, and it was just so sweet.
He said something like, you know, my mom is is
the reason that I know what love is or something
you know of that nature, and oh just makes me happy.
And and bringing it back to like the beginning is

(10:46):
just it makes me proud that I feel like I
have done You know, I'm not perfect by any means,
but I feel like if you are real with your kids,
if you're vulnerable, if you share the highs the lows
of life, they're going to learn from that and hopefully
be the good people that you want them to turn out.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
To me, I think it's a great lesson, especially in
the Christian community, that vulnerability, honesty, and openness is an
incredible access point so that your kids feel that they
can speak to you, communicate with you, because I think
so many times we need, we feel the need to
want to be perfect, yeah, and we close off to

(11:32):
the humanness that we still all experience.

Speaker 4 (11:34):
Trust the things For jo let me say, I feel
like as a as a new dad, just remembering that
people they want they want to connect with you, and
if you can keep that connection, like you want them
to come to you with the hard things in life.
You want them to talk to you about their you know,

(11:54):
relationship issues or school or whatever. And I feel like
if you are open with them, then you're able to
do that and it's.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
Really, really, really important.

Speaker 4 (12:04):
That's another piece of advice is just make sure you
keep them busy. Yeah, keep them busy and just keep
the lines of communication open.

Speaker 1 (12:14):
Christ you're the best.

Speaker 3 (12:15):
Thanks for jumping on here. Hey friends, thanks for listening
or watching. Would you take a second, follow, subscribe, and
drop a comment. It really helps