April 15, 2026 • 50 mins
Country music artist Lauren Alaina joins host Ben Higgins for a raw, candid conversation about balancing career, motherhood, and profound personal loss. Lauren discusses the story behind her rising hit "All My Exes," co-writing with Ben Johnson, and how her journey through love shaped her songwriting. She opens up about navigating new motherhood, the challenges of touring, weaning her daughter, and missing milestones as she pursues her music career. Lauren also reflects on losing her father, the impact on her faith, writing music through seasons of grief and joy, and a moving family experience witnessing her stepfather's final moments. Dive into faith, resilience, family, and the stories behind the songs that connect so many listeners.
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Lauren On Major Life Changes
00:01:10 Introducing Lauren Alaina
00:01:38 Behind “All My Exes”
00:02:26 Writing With Ben Johnson
00:03:13 Song Inspired By Broadway Days
00:04:20 Shifting Songwriting Styles
00:05:28 The Song’s Journey To Release
00:06:29 Writing From Past Relationships
00:09:16 Becoming A Mom: Benny Doll
00:10:21 Navigating Breastfeeding And Emotions
00:13:07 Parenting On Tour And At Home
00:14:24 Balancing Career And Motherhood
00:17:58 Challenges Of Leaving Her Daughter
00:21:07 Hard Choices As A Working Mom
00:26:15 Prayer And Healing After Loss
00:29:19 Songwriting Through Grief And Joy
00:37:14 Faith And Miraculous Experiences
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Who Well, the last couple of years of my life
have been very life changing, not just because I became
a mother.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I also lost my father, which I've talked a lot about.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I wrote this song with Ben Johnson, who's producing my music.
Now we're almost top thirty country radio and it's doing
really well for us.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Oh my gosh, everything changed and I'm going to be
crying in the hotel room.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Yes it's been difficult. The answer is yes, it is difficult.
Speaker 4 (00:31):
Welcome to If you Can Hear Me, a space where
culture meets the soul. I'm Ben Higgins. You may know
me from the Bachelor, and you may know some of
my guests from culture and headlines, but this podcast is
about going beyond the surface into something deeper. Today's guest
is Lauren Elena, a country music artist known for songs
like Roadless, Traveled and Getting Good, whose journey.
Speaker 5 (00:54):
Through success, loss, faith, and resilience has connected with millions
of fans. Her story is one of perseverance, honesty, and
learning to find purpose in every season of life. I
invite you to lean in and enjoy this conversation.
Speaker 6 (01:10):
Welcome to If you Can hear Me.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Lauren, Thank you so much. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 6 (01:16):
This is a fun conversation for me. We're going to
dig in a little bit if you don't mind, but
to nothing that will cause trouble, but things that will
hopefully open the world up to a different side of
you aside you talk about often.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Honestly, perfect, let's do it. I don't know what you're
talking about, but hit me first off.
Speaker 6 (01:39):
I want to start by saying that you have a
song out that is incredible with Chase Matthew called all
my exes. Before we dive into the nitty gritty of
who you are, I would love for you to take
a second and talk about the song while you're proud
of it, kind of how it came to be.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
So I wrote this song with Ben Johnson, who's producing
my music now, and he's one of my best friends
in the world.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
He and his wife, Lauren. She has a beautiful name.
Her name's Lauren.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
There are two of mine and my husband's best friends.
We vacation with them a lot, and it's always really
cool when you get to work with people that you
really love. And he's one of the most talented writers
in Nashville in my opinion. He can play every instrument
of he's just insane, and he actually pulled me in
to write this song. It's really funny. You know, I
(02:34):
have a daughter, she's nine months old, and I have
a husband, and I've been on this journey of like
falling in love the last six years of my life,
so I haven't been spending a ton of the last
six years writing songs about heartbreak and x's and all
of that. But Ben had started this song with another
songwriter and they had like come up with the idea
(02:58):
and part of the chorus or whatever, and he called me,
or he sent it to me and said, would you
want to come in and finish this with us? And
I was like, this sounds awesome. So it's actually really
a unique story about how the song came to be
in general, like I don't have any other songs like
that really where I was pulled in after the song
had started. But when he sent it to me, it
(03:20):
made me think of this story of me on Broadway,
my Broadway days downtown Nashville. I was on the sidewalk
having an argument with the guy I was seeing at
the time, and he really thought he was just going
to tell me everything I needed to know about myself.
That I was hard headed and opinionated in loud and
(03:41):
all of these things, and I was like, well, you're
not telling me anything I haven't ever heard before. And
I remember like having this argument with this guy and
they sent me this idea. I'm not saying that you're
right about me. I'm just saying all my ex's would agree.
And I was like, I've lifted this moment. So I
was like sure, And I wrote the first verse on
the way into the studio to like write this song.
(04:02):
And it was really cool for me though, because sonically
it is a little different than what I was doing
at the time. It's a little more pop leaning, which
I've done a ton in my career, but at the
time I was doing a lot more like country stuff.
And I play around all the time sonically, and so
it was good for me to I think it was
(04:23):
a good challenge for me to kind of write a
different kind of song and write a different topic than
I was writing at the time, because I think when
I wrote the song, Cameron and I were just dating
at the time. I don't know if we were engaged
or we were about to get engaged, and I didn't
know it yet. Kind of in that window of Time.
It's really funny. I wrote the song and I came
(04:45):
home and I played it for Cameron and he was like,
this is your best song. This song is so good.
I'm like, I write you songs all the time. The
song that you like this is a song about me
fighting with an ex on Third Avenue downtown on Broadway, Like,
why is this your favorite? And he just really believed
(05:06):
in the song and actually in the demo. So when
you write a song, I'm sure you know this, but
for people listening that may not know this, when you
write a song like day of you typically get a
recording of the song so you can show it to
your publicist and your label and all of the people
so they can hear it. So I had that and
I came home and played it for Cameron, and Ben
actually sang Chase his part in the demo, and Cameron
(05:29):
was like champion in this song for like.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Three years, two or three years literally.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
And we went on tour with Chase, Matthew and Jason
Alden and we became fast friends with Chase, and my
husband played this song for Chase without telling me. I
had no idea he was going to do it because
I had not like committed to even putting it on
the album at that point because it did feel different
than the other music.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
And Chase loved it and agreed to.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Do it, and then they pretend like my husband talked
me into playing it for Chase, convinced me that this
was the best idea ever, and Chase had already committed
to doing the song to him and acted like he'd
never heard it. They totally schemed me for this song.
I'm so glad he did it, though, because I don't
know that I would have even recorded it if he
hadn't done that genuinely. And we're almost top thirty country
(06:23):
radio and it's doing really well for us, and it's
really fun.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I mean, but it was.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
It was cool the way the song came together. I
wrote it about a different time in my life, and
it actually opened up so much for me, because, you know,
as a songwriter and as a singer, I'm always like
I have to write about where.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I am right now.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
But before I met my husband, I was single for
years and trying to find him, you know. So that's
a huge chunk of my life my twenties, of like
dating the wrong people, getting ready for you know, meeting
my husband, and so I was like, I can still
tell all those stories. Those are still my stories, even
(07:02):
though we're in a different space now. But it is
really funny to have the song that is becoming my
hit and I'm like on Instagram playing with my baby
and my husband.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
I ain't saying that you right about.
Speaker 6 (07:16):
I mean, it's an amazing I also am hearing this
and the level of support but also confidence that your
husband has for you to like rock this song out.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
He's the best.
Speaker 6 (07:28):
Yeah, sounds like it. I don't know how much you
know about you just got off tour with Rascal Flats.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Right, Yes, I did that.
Speaker 6 (07:37):
I don't know how much you know about me. But
I think you were on tour with Chris Lane as well.
I was, Yeah, his wife is my ex.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I did not know that.
Speaker 6 (07:50):
Yeah, and her name's Lauren.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
It's a beautiful night.
Speaker 6 (07:56):
No, Chris and I are good buddies. He was actually
the very first asked ever on this show.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Wait, okay, wait so this, Oh this is okay? Really?
I love Lauren.
Speaker 6 (08:14):
Yeah, so I'm going to send your song to her
and him and just say hey, I havena Lena on
and I thought of you.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Guys, This made me think of you. I hope you're
doing well.
Speaker 6 (08:28):
Well.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
You know what, we all have ex.
Speaker 6 (08:30):
We do some are better than others.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Some of the things my exes have to say about
my mamma husband.
Speaker 6 (08:39):
You know, we're still the same human. Just one chooses
to love us forever and the other one say, hey,
we might find somebody better.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
So we might be able to find someone that we
could love different.
Speaker 6 (08:47):
Better, better, differently for a longer period of time. So
we we do have things in common. We have a
lot of things in common. Though obviously this is an
incredible song. We would love to see it continue to climb,
the charts, continue to get played. How fun would it
be in twenty years that people say, yeah, I had
my breakup song was all my exes and they've had
(09:11):
many a night's listening to it, getting pumped up or
maybe just needing to cry a little bit. You are
a mom. You mentioned it a new ma in June
of twenty twenty five. You did have Benny Benny Dahll.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Right, Oh, yes, we call everybody, but yes, her name
is Vinnie Benny Dahl.
Speaker 6 (09:30):
How's that going for you? I mean that's a loaded question,
but obviously I'm a new parent. We're kind of in
it together. Different stages but similar stages in a lot
of ways. How has kind of your world been changed?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Oh gosh, everything changed in June.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Everything for the better. But I mean obviously navigating completely
foreign territory. You know, I've never been solely responsible for
another human besides myself, and I haven't always.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Done the best for me. So I'm really trying to
crush it for her right now.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
I'm in a season of I'm actually I breastfed her
and she wasn't. She had a latching issue, so we
would bottle feed and breastfeed, and so I pumped and
I have like an abundance of milk. I'm very blessed,
frozen in the freezer. So I am now weaning because
we want her to be able to drink the milk
(10:32):
and affluis anyway, So I'm in a phase of like
weaning from breastfeeding, and that has made me very emotional.
Speaker 6 (10:42):
I was going to ask. I didn't know if it
was appropriate, but obviously, like we at nine months, my
wife started weaning. We have freezer full of milk right now,
and she's talking about public It's really hard on I
didn't realize this. This is not taught to me ever,
but her hormones and ever all over the place. I
am action, you know, and it's a tough season.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
I am in in that very hormonal place right now.
I could, Yeah, I'm probably going to cry talking to you.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
I can feel it. Uh, I can cry talking to
the person at the gas station.
Speaker 6 (11:20):
So well, give me a I mean, don't just say that.
Say you're gonna you are going to bring.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
It out of me so much more, you so much.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
But I yeah, I'm just kind of in this journey.
It's such an emotional thing because I'm proud of myself
that she's got more than enough milk to make it
past her first birthday. You know, with my schedule in traveling,
I would probably do I would breastfeed her as long
as she needed and I have and I feel like
(11:50):
I've done that. But I you know, I travel for
a living, and traveling with the pump and having to
pump and give her bottles because she doesn't feed super
well unless it's from a bottle. It's just been a
it's been a very taxing journey. But I mean, obviously
I would do anything for her forever.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
But I'm also just kind of.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Sad because that's the one thing that like I am
the only person that can do.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
That for her. So there's that. It's like, yeah, it
makes me sad, But.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Motherhood is crazy because it's the most joyous thing, but
it like can be really heartbreaking when things like that happen,
you know, because I'm like, she's getting older and that,
you know, it's just crazy. Yeah, so I'm doing that
right now. My pump is sitting in the floor over there.
I was really hoping you couldn't see it, but I
don't think you can.
Speaker 6 (12:48):
Even if you had him, had him in when we
were doing this, I probably wouldn't even You're so.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Desensitized, aren't you so desensitized?
Speaker 6 (12:56):
My wife would show up with the two pumps that
aren't anything, and my friends would call her Megatron because
like everything's sticking out there and they're going and we
would just have to Sometimes you gotta be out and
about and sometimes you got to strap the mom.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Oh, I have pumped everywhere you can pump.
Speaker 6 (13:14):
Yeah, there is.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
I have not been anywhere in the last nine month.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
I mean, everyone in my life just I don't think
anyone sees the pump anymore that knows me.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
I pump where I got a pump.
Speaker 6 (13:24):
It's just the thing it is. It is an interesting
season though, and you know, obviously for the man, I
think it's a little different. Uh, there's a love there,
but the connection. You know, you grew this child, you
birthed this child, you hold the child for the first time,
and the man at that point, I think for me
at least, it was like more of a shock and
(13:45):
awe and then slowly but surely you know you're a caretaker.
And then you're like, I can't I can't get enough
of this little girl. But my wife had Wona and
she changed, like she became I'm a bear like that.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Your daughter's name is yeah, thank you. Oh I changed
immediately too, And it's crazy.
Speaker 6 (14:09):
And then the path for the mom is interesting because
it is an emotional rollercoaster. As you said, one of
the things I'm interested in a lot of things, I'm
interested in honestly when it comes to you and the
season you're in. But how have you navigated your career
and this passion And we'll get into this passion happening
(14:32):
early on in your life with also being a mom.
H And you know, needing to care for your baby.
Has it been difficult? Has it felt natural? Just walk
us through kind of the process it.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
She makes it easy. She's a great baby. She she so, yes,
it's been difficult. The answer is yes, it is difficult.
But she is as helpful, as helpful as a baby
could be, because she sleeps well, she travels well. She's
(15:13):
not she's not a whiny baby like she's a she's
a she's a champ. The things that are difficult are
you know, she's you know now that I'm I've gotten
back to work pretty normally, Like I would say, it's
pretty close to normal now. I mean, I baby stepped
my way back into it so quite literally.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
I did not do that on purpose, but hey, here
we are.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
It's I'm in the most difficult season now as far
as balancing mom and baby, I mean and work, mom
life and work life. Because she's nine months old, so
you know, we have her on we have her on
a schedule loosely as much as you can have a
baby on a schedule.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
But like she and she knows it.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
You know, she naps at a certain time twice a
day and goes.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
To bed at a certain time, and.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
I am starting to miss some bedtimes and I'm starting
to fly and do shows and leave her back home
because when she was four or five months old. You know,
the younger they are, the more they sleep, and the
easier they are to like move around and take places.
You're scared because you don't want them around other people,
but they're easily transportable. And now she's like crawling and
(16:38):
wanting to learn to walk and more aware of surroundings
and getting you know, more distracted, and it's just harder
to take her out of her environment. But my job
is very rarely keeping me in the environment. So and
if I have to fly, I don't want to put
her through that, you know, So I am I mean
(17:03):
just being completely honest, Like it's very hard right now
for me to want to work all the time because
I want to be with her, but I also have
to work. It's like not, I mean, I'm not in
a place in my career where I can just say, well,
I'm just gonna take this time off.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I'm just not. I would love to be, but i'm not.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
And and I am so fortunate, So I'm not like
complaining at all, because we're very blessed. But it's just
right now, you know, I'm getting show offers and they're
on the West Coast, so those would be flight dates, right,
and we don't take the bus to the West Coast,
and I'm not going to take her to that because
(17:48):
it's a two hour time difference for her and we
would have to fly with a pack and play and
then set it up in a hotel room every night,
and then like it's just it doesn't work for her,
you know, And so I'm having to.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Leave her. And my husband is the best dad in
the world.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
And I have full confidence in him, thank god, because
if I didn't, that would really.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Be a problem.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
And my mom has helped out too, like his Actually,
my husband's out of town right now, and I have
to work today. I have a show tonight and it's
in town, which is good, but I'm still going to
miss bedtime. So my mother and father in law are
here helping with manny.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
But like, so that's a very year New Year. She's
making some noise. Sorry, my mom brain got distracted because
I can hear my child.
Speaker 6 (18:45):
No, it's it's a it's like a alarm goes off instant.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
It's crazy. I can hear her. I could hear her
at the neighbor's house. I think they had her at
the neighbor's house and she cried. I think I could
hear it. It's really wild. My husband could sleep through it.
I can sleep through Yeah. I think it's God made
it that way. I think I think mothers have like
something in our brain that we can hear it. I
(19:11):
don't know, it's crazy, but anyway, so you know, I've
got a couple of weeks coming up that I'm dreading
because I'll fly to the West Coast and play a
couple of shows and then fly home and I'll be
with her for two and a half days and then
I have to fly back to the West Coast and
like before her, I would have just stayed out there,
(19:34):
you know. But I can't put her through that because
each day I fly to a new like city, I think.
So I'm just I can't do that to her, Like
it's not fair to her. So I will be the
one that is, like you know, in California, where everybody's
so excited to be because it's sunny and beautiful, and
I'm going to be crying in the hotel room, missing
(19:56):
my child, looking.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
At her on the nanny camp. So but I'm also
showing her.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
You know, there's a flip to that where like I'll
when she gets older, I'll be able to tell her
and show her like I followed my dreams and I
did this and it was difficult, but you can do
whatever you want to do.
Speaker 6 (20:13):
So she's going to be so proud of you, Like
how cool is it to have you as a mom? Now?
Moms are cool? Right?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
I literally can't.
Speaker 6 (20:23):
I think it's fun. I mean, I listened to you,
and I'm like, that's that's incredible. She's going to look
up to somebody who, like you know, has not only
accomplished a lot, but done it in the midst of
being a good mom, And I think that's the best
representation in one of the greatest ways you can love
a child is doing that. And and so I hear this,
(20:47):
and I'm like, hey, a lot of people are going
to listen. Now, not everybody's going to be, you know,
needing to travel from Nashville to the West coast, but
people are going to hear this and they're going to say,
I've been there. I've been there where I've had to
figure out how to bring a pack and play and
I've been there where I've had to decide to make
the tough decision to know, leave my child at home
because it's not healthy for them. And that's more.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
And I have also made the decision to like not
take great opportunities because I want I'm not willing to
leave her for a certain amount of time. Like things
that I, you know, normally would have done, I'm not doing.
But she is the most important to me now, which
is crazy. Something has shifted in me because you know,
(21:30):
I have been doing this career since I was fifteen
years old, that is has that has been my baby
and now like she just said, Mama, and now she
is number one, and you know, I I have to
I have to put her first, and I want to
put her first. It's just hard to navigate and to
(21:50):
know what's right. And so my husband and I are
in a lot of conversations of like should I do
this and should I not do that? And you know
all moms, most moms eventually go back to work most months.
You know that they're and and if you don't, and
you're staying home with the kid all day, you're working
just as hard.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
So I am telling you the days that I am
home with her all day long.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
I go to bed more tired than I do when
I go to work.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
So it is a full time job being a mother anyway.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
So I just, yeah, I mean, there are so many
moms I understand understand that. I mean, and then the
kids have to go to school, and I mean, they're
just so many different things that like moms have to
The separation from your child is so hard because you
spend we spend nine months growing them and feeling them
and learning about them, and then you meet them and
(22:43):
then you're you know, essentially spend twenty four hours a
day with that baby for eight weeks at least. I mean,
but the first eight weeks, like for me, because I
breastped I don't really know another journey, but like they're
attached to your body for a long time. And then
(23:04):
we had a hard time figuring it out. So I
was either breastfeeding or giving a a bottle around the clock,
and I just spent all this time with her, you know,
and we're like so bonded together. It's crazy, the connection
between a baby and a mother. Like yeah, and so
it's just it's been really challenging to navigate. But I mean,
I I'd spent a lot of time praying about it,
(23:27):
trying to figure out what to do and what not
to do, and when is it worth when is it
worth it, and when is it not worth it? You know,
because I'm not going to miss everything. I'm not gonna
be gone all the time. I'm just not not going
to do that anymore. So, but I am lucky. Like
the Rascal Flights tour that you talked about with your
friend Chris, I.
Speaker 6 (23:48):
Do like Chris. I mean that when I said, no,
I know you do. I know.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
He's an easy guy to lie, so I'm sure. I mean, look,
it worked out for everybody. You both have beautiful families,
so it.
Speaker 6 (23:58):
Works out in the end. It's just a funny to
get here.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I'm gonna I'm gonna be looking this up there.
Speaker 6 (24:05):
I tell you you can. You can watch it on
TV if you'd like.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
I will be.
Speaker 6 (24:11):
It's anyway.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
So, uh, I don't even know what I was about
to say, no oh on the Rascal Flights tour. On
the Rascal Flights tour, I took a bus, so she
goes with me in that scenario. So like, that's where
I'm a very fortunate mother because most women don't get
to take their child with them to work, you know.
And my mom travels with me and keeps her while
(24:35):
I'm on stage and gets her, gives her a little
bath on the bus and puts her down, and I
get to spend the day with her, and then you know,
I go to work after you know, four or five
and see her the next morning. So that that helps,
because if we're on the bus, it's much.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Easier to figure out.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
But I'm not like the whole month of May or
flights like all my shows are flight eights. I'm not
a the bus one time, and I'm gone every weekend,
so pretty much every weekend.
Speaker 6 (25:05):
So I mean, yeah, you're this is a it's it's
a very relatable conversation because I think the balance that
you're you know, navigating is one that so many navigated.
My wife went back to work about four months in
and it's you know, five days a week for her.
She's gone from the house three of those days, and
(25:27):
it's difficult and the husband and wife, you know, have
to be on the same page. But then you also,
I think have this internal like just guilt because or
sadness from the disconnection. But you know I as I
was researching you and coming up with this, this is
a faith based show. So this whole show is based
(25:49):
around this, the idea of if God can hear you
right now in this you know stage of life, which
you know, I think as Christians we believe God came
in here, and we probably have good examples of that
in our own world. But the whole idea of the
show is, if God can hear you right now, your
prayer from your heart kind of where you're at personally,
(26:11):
what would that prayer be?
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Who Well, the last couple of years of my life
have been very life changing, not just because I became
a mothers I also lost my father, which I've talked
a lot about, So a lot of my prayers are
like praying for healing from that and also still trying
(26:40):
to be I mean, trying to be healed enough to
be a good mom and to be there for her
and to be and to do the right things and
to be you know, it's like polar opposite things happened
to me in a matter of two months. My dad
died and I found out I was pregnant two months later,
and she was a big surprise. So my biggest prayer
(27:01):
right now is just to heal from that and to
be present with her and to be a good wife
and a good mom and a good business woman. But honestly,
my career is like the thing I probably pray for
the least right now.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
It's really my art and my healing and being a
mom that.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Is most important to me right now, obviously, and especially
because I lost a parent and now I am her parent,
and I know.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
What it feels like to.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Lose a parent, and I had a really great dad
and I was really close with him, and.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Anyway, I just I pray about that a lot.
Speaker 6 (27:45):
You know. The reason I asked the question the way
it did is because there is one of the things
that I think I appreciate about your career and the
music you're putting out there is so much of it
has been written from the place in life that you're at,
like what it did happening in your world. If it's
a place of joy, it's you know, it's that. If
(28:06):
it's a place of sadness and healing, it's that we
just talked about all my exes the beginning, which is
like a throwback to a time in your life that
doesn't exist anymore? Right, you know you're not this is
again camera.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Yeah, I'm not a Rexes. I'm done with that nothing.
Speaker 6 (28:27):
Yeah. The question I have is, so as you write
music right now?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (28:35):
You know that you have talked openly about losing a parent,
and uh, it's I can't imagine. Obviously, you know those
days will come. But your story is probably helping heal
others while at the same time helping others feel less
alone and hopefully helping you feel less alone by the
(28:56):
feedback that you're getting. But like, how are you communicating
through music in this season of such highs and such loes.
You're happily married with a beautiful child, and yet you
have experienced loss recently that is life changing? How do
you write to bridge the gaps?
Speaker 2 (29:19):
You know?
Speaker 1 (29:20):
It depends on the day when I go in to
write a song kind of where my heart is.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
I wrote it. I wrote a song about.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Finding out about Benny, finding out being I was pregnant
with her. It's called Heaven Since one of my favorites
that I've written. I'm so sorry, I'm got my nose
is randing. Nothing's going well right now.
Speaker 6 (29:42):
I have I have a black eye from getting hit
in the face with a trash can blowing in the wind.
So we're all good.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Here.
Speaker 6 (29:48):
You do what you got to do.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
That is the most random thing I've ever heard. That's
a lie.
Speaker 6 (29:53):
No, it's not, you lie, No, it's not.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
I'm just kidding, just.
Speaker 6 (29:57):
Straight to the face. Broken nose last week, so we
can just be it.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Broke your nose.
Speaker 6 (30:02):
Yeah, we can just be weird together here. You can
blow your nose, you can wipe your nose, and I
my nose hasn't stopped like running and bleeding since last week.
So we'll just be in this together.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Okay, We'll just you know, keep going.
Speaker 6 (30:16):
We're good.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Lord knows so stupid. I'm a pun queen, I you know. Okay.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Anyway, So with my music now, you know, I I
kind of take it day by day, Like when I
go in to write a song, it depends on where
my heart is that day. I mean, right now, I'm
in just in pure bliss with this baby. So I've
been writing a lot of songs. I've actually working on
a song right now that I'm really excited about about
(30:47):
her and just becoming parents and stuff.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
But I mean I wrote Having Said, which was about
losing my dad and then.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Finding out about her and I actually went we put
it out last year, and then we went on you know,
the tour, and people brought me like onesies that said
Heaven sent or told me stories about losing their parents
and then finding out that they were pregnant or losing
someone close to them, and.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Music is so healing. It's pretty crazy.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
I mean, as someone who has the honor of being
able to write music, I'm so grateful. It's also hard, though,
to go in and share those things, you know, So
I mean every time I write a song, it's a
little bit different. But right now I am, you know,
in a stage of life where I'm writing about my
(31:38):
family and also lost like it is. It has been
such a crazy time to go through the most incredible, beautiful.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
Thing of my life.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
The best thing that's ever happened to me happened right
after the worst thing that's ever happened to me, Like
they happened pretty much simultaneously. So my heart has been
like just going in so many directions. But it's good
for making music because you tend to write the best
(32:10):
music when you really are feeling a lot. And I
remember writing songs as a little girl, like the first
song I ever wrote.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
My aunt had a car accident.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
I wrote a song for her in the hospital, and
that kind of started me writing songs because I was
so upset that she had had this car accident and
I didn't know what to do for her, and I said, Mom,
I can't do anything to help, and she said, why
don't you try to writing her a song. So that's
what got me into writing songs. And I really still
try to write from that place now. I do throw
in the exes all my exes vibes every once in
(32:46):
a while because that also is a part of my life.
But yeah, right now I'm in a season of healing
and grief and the most incredible, overwhelming love I have
ever felt, and so writing an album in that time
period has been pretty crazy because I, you know, I
(33:06):
wrote most of the album. I wrote a lot of
the album before dad died, and then Dad died and
so then I felt like, oh, I got to go
in and I've got to write these things.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
And I have my daughter and I'm like, I got
to write these things.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
So for me, this album that's about to come out,
it shares like all these different parts of my life
because I've lived so many different stages of life in
the last you know, fifteen years in the Spotlight, I
mean my whole life. I share about my whole life
in this album. But every time I write a song,
it's a little bit different.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I mean, you never know. I might go in and write.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
A song like all my exes right now too, you know,
because someone else in the room has this idea. So
I just try to be vulnerable and open and honest
and write wherever my heart.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Is that day.
Speaker 6 (33:52):
When's the album come out?
Speaker 2 (33:55):
When does this podcast come out?
Speaker 6 (33:57):
It's good question too.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
We have not announced, guess, but I'll put in here,
but we are announcing end of May.
Speaker 6 (34:10):
You're announcing so fans can pay attention for them to May,
for you to announce when this album will be coming
out and where they you know, when they can get
their hands on it. That's fair.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
It's also probably and I don't know, I'll have I
think Corey is listening, So I don't know if we
should should we even say we're announcing that in May?
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Or Yeah, maybe I'll say that, Corey. What do you think.
Speaker 6 (34:38):
We will? No, we'll definitely do that to.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
I can just say something a little more vague.
Speaker 6 (34:44):
If you want, yes, I'll ask about the album and
then you respond how you want. Okay, So you you
mentioned an album. Have you talked about when it's coming out?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
We have, we're not announcing yet.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
But and my fans they're literally my fans are so
mad at me because they're like asking me because we
put out last year. We put out five or six songs.
I think it was five songs, So people are like,
when's the album coming? It is coming. But you know
what's so funny about the album is, like I just said,
(35:22):
a second ago, you know, I was in the midst
of making this album, and then my dad passed and
then I, you know, got pregnant and had a baby,
and I was like, I can't put an album out
right now, Like what am I going to do?
Speaker 2 (35:35):
I have to have this child.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
And I'm not going to be touring for a few months.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
So that's why we put out five songs. We put
out five songs to kind of bridge the gap.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
And then All My Exes was the song that kind
of took off for us, and it just so happened
to feel really different than everything else on the album.
So then I was challenged again to go back in
and right and record some songs that kind of felt
like that part of my life and that vein just
to have things that you know, aligned with it, you know,
(36:10):
not necessarily even lyrically, just sonically, because sonically it was
so different. It was way more progressive, feeling like pop
leaning than the rest of the album. So then I
went back in and cut some pop laning stuff too.
So I feel, I know for a fact the album
is finished. I just mastered it last week, so it
is officially done, and we are putting the timeline and
(36:33):
everything together now, so we'll be banking big announcements.
Speaker 6 (36:36):
Well, you know, I would assume here I'm not an
expert in this. The anticipation is healthy and good. And
also from listening to you, this album feels like my
favorite type of albums, the cries from the heart of
the joys and the sorrows, you know, the times for
(36:56):
celebration and the times for grieving, and and I think
that makes the best albums because it takes us through
a story, and so of course you should take you know, time.
Of course there should be anticipation behind it because it
matters to you. And I think that's wonderful. I want
to switch gears in the last few minutes we have
(37:17):
here and talk about your faith. Your faith is a
driving force behind all that you do. And there's an
interest And I might have got this wrong, and so
correct me if I do. But there's an interesting element
here that I think people will be They've always been
intrigued by and you know, in there in life, but
(37:42):
also sometimes confused by. Your stepfather passed away as well.
And when he was passing, the thing I read was
that he was getting glimpses of heaven. Now, hey, who
am I to doubt it? Who am I to question it?
Don't know? Right, But we hear those stories, and we
(38:06):
usually hear them in their like best selling novels on
I Saw Heaven and I Came Back or something like that.
For somebody like you, I'm this is a question out
of just curiosity and being intrigued. What is seeing that
and hearing that and being along for that journey? What
was going on?
Speaker 4 (38:25):
Like?
Speaker 6 (38:25):
What were you learning? What were you experiencing? What was
he experiencing?
Speaker 1 (38:31):
It's other than having my child and literally birthing a
child and then placing that child on me and like
being like, whoa, what is going on it. It was
the most unbelievable experience I have ever witnessed in my life.
You know, my stepdad, I was very close with him
(38:53):
as well. It's very fortunate to have him in my
life as well.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
And he.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Got cancer, are very aggressive cancer. By the time they
found it it was stage four. He fought as hard
as he could, but the chances weren't high when he
started fighting, and they got you know, lower and lower,
and he ultimately didn't make it. And I just remember
it in that season of life extreme anger for me,
(39:20):
horrendous anger. I come from a very faith filled family.
You know, we believe in the power of prayer, and
we believe in miracles, and we believe in healing. And
it started becoming very clear or you know, I started
feeling like, you know, maybe he's not going to be healed,
maybe this like and I started really not understanding why
(39:44):
that would happen if we were all praying and believing,
you know, in those scenarios though, I think you start
you start playing God and you don't mean to, but
you start thinking this can't be the plan, you know,
and we don't know the bigger plan. But for me,
in that season, I so angry, and I'd never prayed more,
begging God for a miracle, begging God for any sort
(40:06):
of relief for him, because he was in so much
pain and just going through such a just so horrific thing.
To for someone to walk through and to witness it
is horrific as well, and.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
One of those things you just don't understand, you know.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
And I remember he got sent home on hospice, and
so he was, you know, in the living room and
in his hospital bed, and we were all just spending
as much time with him as we could and helping
mom out, kind of taking shifts, helping to nurse him
and help him out with the things that he needed
at the time. And I remember it was like a
(40:42):
few days before he died. I was sitting on a
mom's back porch and I had this moment with God
where I said, I've been very open about this and
it's going to be like shocking to some people, but
I said, I.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Know, I know you're out there.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
I'm pretty sure you're out there, and I know you
can you know you're you're probably listening to me, But
when he dies, I'll never talk to you again. I
remember saying that to God. I was so mad, so hurt,
and just so confused and so lost in my own grief.
(41:23):
And like two days later was the day he died.
And he had been silent and sleeping quite a bit
for a few days at that point, so we knew the.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
End was near.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
Just kind of a waiting game of when it's you know,
it was his time, and the hospice nurses, who were
absolutely wonderful, told us that he may never like wake
back up, and it just you know, at some point
he may just.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Pass, but that was not our experience. He woke up randomly.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
We were all in the living room with him, and
he goes, I found it, I mean, as clear as day.
And we were all like, I mean we were just
sitting there as a family, like so sad. And my
mom said, you found what, Sam, what's going on?
Speaker 2 (42:15):
You found what? And he said, Heaven? And I wish
you could see it. It's so beautiful.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
And you know, me over there telling God, I was
like never going to talk to him again.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
I was like, oh boy, this this is not good.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
And he he goes. I mean, there were so many
crazy moments, but he looked so peaceful. It was really hard.
It's hard to explain someone who had we had zero
peace at the time. The room filled with peace, and
he goes mom and he like saw his mother and
(42:52):
like started talking to his mother and my mom was like,
what else do you see?
Speaker 2 (42:56):
Sam? And he said.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Jesus said he's so beautiful and I wish you guys
could see this.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
I can't believe this.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
And then he said this really funny thing. He goes,
I'll never forget this either. He goes, what are you
doing here?
Speaker 2 (43:09):
And I the time because that was the same thing,
and he was really funny and quirky, and I was like,
who did he see? He was like, I don't know
if it was maybe somebody he knew that he didn't
know had passed. I have no idea. I think about
it all the time. But he goes, what are you
doing here?
Speaker 1 (43:27):
But like it was probably a fifteen to twenty minute
thing where he was kind of explained, I mean, just
looked in awe and just like completely just it was crazy,
you know, Like, and the thing about faith is it's
like it's you, it's blind faith.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
You don't you have to believe in something that you
can't see. And I couldn't see it, but he could
and I was like, I'm going there. I've got to
get my act together. I going there.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
I do not want to go anywhere else when I die.
I want to see my mom. I want to go mom,
you know. And he ended up saying, you know, and
he thought so hard to live. He really wanted to live,
but he.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Made it okay for us that he wasn't going to,
like he felt such peace, and he said, I have
to go now. I have to go now.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
But I love you guys, and I'm going to see
you again. I'm going to see you again. And I
can't wait for you to get to see this. And
those were his last words, and he died a few
hours later. He shut his eyes and he died a
few hours later. It wasn't like he said that and
then he died right then. But he died later that night.
But unbelievable, like even me telling you just I can't
(44:49):
believe that happened to my family, Like I was in
the room for something like that. And you do see
these stories and you're like, really, you like went to
heaven and came back like what are you talking about?
I don't know, cause it's just oh miraculous, I mean,
and he didn't come back. He went there, but he
seemed really excited to go there, like it is beautiful
and peaceful. And you know, my nephew was four or
(45:13):
five months old at the time, and he was there.
The other my other nephew was a little bit older son.
I don't think he was there. I think he was
with his grandparents. But you know, my sister in law
was breastfeedt Oh my gosh, now that I think about
four months POSTPARTU, I'm dealing with.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
That for her. Oh my gosh. That I've never thought
about it like that. I've just had that moment.
Speaker 6 (45:40):
And my wife and I have a rule in her
house when we have a moment like that where all
of a sudden we get a different perspective or picture
of somebody else, we immediately have to text them and say, hey,
I was thinking about you and this is why, because
sometimes like those are a little like kisses from God.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
God.
Speaker 6 (45:58):
Yeah, I had to like be like, hey, this was
brought up for a reason today, and it's not just
to talk to Ben. Maybe it's you know, to tell
somebody you're thinking about him. How how did you kind
of reapproach God. Then after this, obviously that prayer is
one so many of us have prayed, right, Like, God,
I don't know if you're still there? Can you hear me?
(46:20):
Are you listening? Do you do you understand the pain
I'm experiencing. God, I am I'm lost, and if you're real,
I need you to show up. Those prayers are not uncommon.
Speaker 2 (46:32):
Well he showed it.
Speaker 6 (46:33):
Yeah, but the re entry point to be like, hey,
I didn't mean it, like I.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
Still I still I am sorry. I was like, let
me say that prayer again where I'll ask you back
into my heart. Just be sure you're still in there,
because I didn't, like, al I messed that up? Let
me just no, I'm kidding.
Speaker 6 (46:49):
How did you go back to? Like? What was your
conversations like with God? After that?
Speaker 1 (46:54):
Then it actually changed the way I talked to God
because I I felt I started to feel a little
bit safer in sharing. I mean, I did feel shame
in saying that prayer, but I also like I started
a real healing journey. After that, I went to this
(47:15):
place in Nashville called on Site, which was super transformative
for me, and it actually that moment completely just redefined
the way I see God and I have I have honest,
real conversations with him regularly now, Like someone said to
me after that, that's okay to have that conversation with God.
(47:38):
Like he's said, you're supposed to be a father to you.
He wants to father you, and you're not always gonna
get like did you always get along.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
With your father?
Speaker 1 (47:48):
And I was like no, so you know you you questioned,
like it's okay to ask questions.
Speaker 2 (47:53):
I got. I got a much more.
Speaker 1 (47:57):
It wasn't just a It changed may I say my
prayers before I go to bed at night like check
in a box thing. Not that that's the only thing
I was doing, but it became more of an open
line of communication for me, where like I do ask
questions and I do wait to him and get angry
(48:20):
and you know, and also celebrate. So it definitely changed
my outlook on prayer. It was a very definitive moment
for me, and I think it, you know, made my
faith stronger in the long run for sure.
Speaker 6 (48:36):
Yeah, what I hear there is like an authenticity of
prayer at all stages and I have zero doubt that
God can handle it. That this wasn't pushing anything anything
further away, but the authentic authenticity of the beating of
the chest and the crying of the heart to a
god above who hears and knows is one of the
(49:01):
most beautiful things in this world and also something that
I think, listening to you, so many of us could
learn from. Is that open line of God. I'm not
doing my best right now, and I don't know if
you are either. I can't see you in this Tell
me what's up? Show up? Please? I need you more
(49:23):
than ever. It's wonderful because I think we have a
God who cares.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
My daughter is groof that we have a God who
cares because we were not we you know, we're not
planning on her or trying for her. And she came
into my life in that time when I needed her
more like he knew that she Yeah, she's such a
gift to me from him.
Speaker 2 (49:50):
And I think, my.
Speaker 1 (49:51):
Dad, Yeah, it's beautiful, Lauren, All my dad's up there, cinner.
Speaker 6 (49:58):
Yeah, that's h I want to know. I want to
know who he saw too.
Speaker 2 (50:05):
Isn't that crazy? What are you doing here? I will
ask him when I get there. I'm like, heyme, that
moment when you were.
Speaker 6 (50:12):
Like who threw you off a little bit?
Speaker 2 (50:21):
And I know what.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
I don't know if it was like was it some
when he didn't think was getting there yeah?
Speaker 2 (50:26):
Or like a dang you what are you doing here? Wow?
Speaker 6 (50:33):
Well I know you got to show tonight. I know
you got a baby to take care of. Hey, friends,
thanks for listening or watching. Would you take a second, follow, subscribe,
and drop a comment. It really helps
Who Well, the last couple of years of my life
have been very life changing, not just because I became
a mother.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I also lost my father, which I've talked a lot about.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I wrote this song with Ben Johnson, who's producing my music.
Now we're almost top thirty country radio and it's doing
really well for us.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Oh my gosh, everything changed and I'm going to be
crying in the hotel room.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Yes it's been difficult. The answer is yes, it is difficult.
Speaker 4 (00:31):
Welcome to If you Can Hear Me, a space where
culture meets the soul. I'm Ben Higgins. You may know
me from the Bachelor, and you may know some of
my guests from culture and headlines, but this podcast is
about going beyond the surface into something deeper. Today's guest
is Lauren Elena, a country music artist known for songs
like Roadless, Traveled and Getting Good, whose journey.
Speaker 5 (00:54):
Through success, loss, faith, and resilience has connected with millions
of fans. Her story is one of perseverance, honesty, and
learning to find purpose in every season of life. I
invite you to lean in and enjoy this conversation.
Speaker 6 (01:10):
Welcome to If you Can hear Me.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Lauren, Thank you so much. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 6 (01:16):
This is a fun conversation for me. We're going to
dig in a little bit if you don't mind, but
to nothing that will cause trouble, but things that will
hopefully open the world up to a different side of
you aside you talk about often.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Honestly, perfect, let's do it. I don't know what you're
talking about, but hit me first off.
Speaker 6 (01:39):
I want to start by saying that you have a
song out that is incredible with Chase Matthew called all
my exes. Before we dive into the nitty gritty of
who you are, I would love for you to take
a second and talk about the song while you're proud
of it, kind of how it came to be.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
So I wrote this song with Ben Johnson, who's producing
my music now, and he's one of my best friends
in the world.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
He and his wife, Lauren. She has a beautiful name.
Her name's Lauren.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
There are two of mine and my husband's best friends.
We vacation with them a lot, and it's always really
cool when you get to work with people that you
really love. And he's one of the most talented writers
in Nashville in my opinion. He can play every instrument
of he's just insane, and he actually pulled me in
to write this song. It's really funny. You know, I
(02:34):
have a daughter, she's nine months old, and I have
a husband, and I've been on this journey of like
falling in love the last six years of my life,
so I haven't been spending a ton of the last
six years writing songs about heartbreak and x's and all
of that. But Ben had started this song with another
songwriter and they had like come up with the idea
(02:58):
and part of the chorus or whatever, and he called me,
or he sent it to me and said, would you
want to come in and finish this with us? And
I was like, this sounds awesome. So it's actually really
a unique story about how the song came to be
in general, like I don't have any other songs like
that really where I was pulled in after the song
had started. But when he sent it to me, it
(03:20):
made me think of this story of me on Broadway,
my Broadway days downtown Nashville. I was on the sidewalk
having an argument with the guy I was seeing at
the time, and he really thought he was just going
to tell me everything I needed to know about myself.
That I was hard headed and opinionated in loud and
(03:41):
all of these things, and I was like, well, you're
not telling me anything I haven't ever heard before. And
I remember like having this argument with this guy and
they sent me this idea. I'm not saying that you're
right about me. I'm just saying all my ex's would agree.
And I was like, I've lifted this moment. So I
was like sure, And I wrote the first verse on
the way into the studio to like write this song.
(04:02):
And it was really cool for me though, because sonically
it is a little different than what I was doing
at the time. It's a little more pop leaning, which
I've done a ton in my career, but at the
time I was doing a lot more like country stuff.
And I play around all the time sonically, and so
it was good for me to I think it was
(04:23):
a good challenge for me to kind of write a
different kind of song and write a different topic than
I was writing at the time, because I think when
I wrote the song, Cameron and I were just dating
at the time. I don't know if we were engaged
or we were about to get engaged, and I didn't
know it yet. Kind of in that window of Time.
It's really funny. I wrote the song and I came
(04:45):
home and I played it for Cameron and he was like,
this is your best song. This song is so good.
I'm like, I write you songs all the time. The
song that you like this is a song about me
fighting with an ex on Third Avenue downtown on Broadway, Like,
why is this your favorite? And he just really believed
(05:06):
in the song and actually in the demo. So when
you write a song, I'm sure you know this, but
for people listening that may not know this, when you
write a song like day of you typically get a
recording of the song so you can show it to
your publicist and your label and all of the people
so they can hear it. So I had that and
I came home and played it for Cameron, and Ben
actually sang Chase his part in the demo, and Cameron
(05:29):
was like champion in this song for like.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Three years, two or three years literally.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
And we went on tour with Chase, Matthew and Jason
Alden and we became fast friends with Chase, and my
husband played this song for Chase without telling me. I
had no idea he was going to do it because
I had not like committed to even putting it on
the album at that point because it did feel different
than the other music.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
And Chase loved it and agreed to.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Do it, and then they pretend like my husband talked
me into playing it for Chase, convinced me that this
was the best idea ever, and Chase had already committed
to doing the song to him and acted like he'd
never heard it. They totally schemed me for this song.
I'm so glad he did it, though, because I don't
know that I would have even recorded it if he
hadn't done that genuinely. And we're almost top thirty country
(06:23):
radio and it's doing really well for us, and it's
really fun.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I mean, but it was.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
It was cool the way the song came together. I
wrote it about a different time in my life, and
it actually opened up so much for me, because, you know,
as a songwriter and as a singer, I'm always like
I have to write about where.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I am right now.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
But before I met my husband, I was single for
years and trying to find him, you know. So that's
a huge chunk of my life my twenties, of like
dating the wrong people, getting ready for you know, meeting
my husband, and so I was like, I can still
tell all those stories. Those are still my stories, even
(07:02):
though we're in a different space now. But it is
really funny to have the song that is becoming my
hit and I'm like on Instagram playing with my baby
and my husband.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
I ain't saying that you right about.
Speaker 6 (07:16):
I mean, it's an amazing I also am hearing this
and the level of support but also confidence that your
husband has for you to like rock this song out.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
He's the best.
Speaker 6 (07:28):
Yeah, sounds like it. I don't know how much you
know about you just got off tour with Rascal Flats.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Right, Yes, I did that.
Speaker 6 (07:37):
I don't know how much you know about me. But
I think you were on tour with Chris Lane as well.
I was, Yeah, his wife is my ex.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I did not know that.
Speaker 6 (07:50):
Yeah, and her name's Lauren.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
It's a beautiful night.
Speaker 6 (07:56):
No, Chris and I are good buddies. He was actually
the very first asked ever on this show.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Wait, okay, wait so this, Oh this is okay? Really?
I love Lauren.
Speaker 6 (08:14):
Yeah, so I'm going to send your song to her
and him and just say hey, I havena Lena on
and I thought of you.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Guys, This made me think of you. I hope you're
doing well.
Speaker 6 (08:28):
Well.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
You know what, we all have ex.
Speaker 6 (08:30):
We do some are better than others.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Some of the things my exes have to say about
my mamma husband.
Speaker 6 (08:39):
You know, we're still the same human. Just one chooses
to love us forever and the other one say, hey,
we might find somebody better.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
So we might be able to find someone that we
could love different.
Speaker 6 (08:47):
Better, better, differently for a longer period of time. So
we we do have things in common. We have a
lot of things in common. Though obviously this is an
incredible song. We would love to see it continue to climb,
the charts, continue to get played. How fun would it
be in twenty years that people say, yeah, I had
my breakup song was all my exes and they've had
(09:11):
many a night's listening to it, getting pumped up or
maybe just needing to cry a little bit. You are
a mom. You mentioned it a new ma in June
of twenty twenty five. You did have Benny Benny Dahll.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Right, Oh, yes, we call everybody, but yes, her name
is Vinnie Benny Dahl.
Speaker 6 (09:30):
How's that going for you? I mean that's a loaded question,
but obviously I'm a new parent. We're kind of in
it together. Different stages but similar stages in a lot
of ways. How has kind of your world been changed?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Oh gosh, everything changed in June.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Everything for the better. But I mean obviously navigating completely
foreign territory. You know, I've never been solely responsible for
another human besides myself, and I haven't always.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Done the best for me. So I'm really trying to
crush it for her right now.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
I'm in a season of I'm actually I breastfed her
and she wasn't. She had a latching issue, so we
would bottle feed and breastfeed, and so I pumped and
I have like an abundance of milk. I'm very blessed,
frozen in the freezer. So I am now weaning because
we want her to be able to drink the milk
(10:32):
and affluis anyway, So I'm in a phase of like
weaning from breastfeeding, and that has made me very emotional.
Speaker 6 (10:42):
I was going to ask. I didn't know if it
was appropriate, but obviously, like we at nine months, my
wife started weaning. We have freezer full of milk right now,
and she's talking about public It's really hard on I
didn't realize this. This is not taught to me ever,
but her hormones and ever all over the place. I
am action, you know, and it's a tough season.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
I am in in that very hormonal place right now.
I could, Yeah, I'm probably going to cry talking to you.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
I can feel it. Uh, I can cry talking to
the person at the gas station.
Speaker 6 (11:20):
So well, give me a I mean, don't just say that.
Say you're gonna you are going to bring.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
It out of me so much more, you so much.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
But I yeah, I'm just kind of in this journey.
It's such an emotional thing because I'm proud of myself
that she's got more than enough milk to make it
past her first birthday. You know, with my schedule in traveling,
I would probably do I would breastfeed her as long
as she needed and I have and I feel like
(11:50):
I've done that. But I you know, I travel for
a living, and traveling with the pump and having to
pump and give her bottles because she doesn't feed super
well unless it's from a bottle. It's just been a
it's been a very taxing journey. But I mean, obviously
I would do anything for her forever.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
But I'm also just kind of.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Sad because that's the one thing that like I am
the only person that can do.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
That for her. So there's that. It's like, yeah, it
makes me sad, But.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Motherhood is crazy because it's the most joyous thing, but
it like can be really heartbreaking when things like that happen,
you know, because I'm like, she's getting older and that,
you know, it's just crazy. Yeah, so I'm doing that
right now. My pump is sitting in the floor over there.
I was really hoping you couldn't see it, but I
don't think you can.
Speaker 6 (12:48):
Even if you had him, had him in when we
were doing this, I probably wouldn't even You're so.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Desensitized, aren't you so desensitized?
Speaker 6 (12:56):
My wife would show up with the two pumps that
aren't anything, and my friends would call her Megatron because
like everything's sticking out there and they're going and we
would just have to Sometimes you gotta be out and
about and sometimes you got to strap the mom.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Oh, I have pumped everywhere you can pump.
Speaker 6 (13:14):
Yeah, there is.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
I have not been anywhere in the last nine month.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
I mean, everyone in my life just I don't think
anyone sees the pump anymore that knows me.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
I pump where I got a pump.
Speaker 6 (13:24):
It's just the thing it is. It is an interesting
season though, and you know, obviously for the man, I
think it's a little different. Uh, there's a love there,
but the connection. You know, you grew this child, you
birthed this child, you hold the child for the first time,
and the man at that point, I think for me
at least, it was like more of a shock and
(13:45):
awe and then slowly but surely you know you're a caretaker.
And then you're like, I can't I can't get enough
of this little girl. But my wife had Wona and
she changed, like she became I'm a bear like that.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Your daughter's name is yeah, thank you. Oh I changed
immediately too, And it's crazy.
Speaker 6 (14:09):
And then the path for the mom is interesting because
it is an emotional rollercoaster. As you said, one of
the things I'm interested in a lot of things, I'm
interested in honestly when it comes to you and the
season you're in. But how have you navigated your career
and this passion And we'll get into this passion happening
(14:32):
early on in your life with also being a mom.
H And you know, needing to care for your baby.
Has it been difficult? Has it felt natural? Just walk
us through kind of the process it.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
She makes it easy. She's a great baby. She she so, yes,
it's been difficult. The answer is yes, it is difficult.
But she is as helpful, as helpful as a baby
could be, because she sleeps well, she travels well. She's
(15:13):
not she's not a whiny baby like she's a she's
a she's a champ. The things that are difficult are
you know, she's you know now that I'm I've gotten
back to work pretty normally, Like I would say, it's
pretty close to normal now. I mean, I baby stepped
my way back into it so quite literally.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
I did not do that on purpose, but hey, here
we are.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
It's I'm in the most difficult season now as far
as balancing mom and baby, I mean and work, mom
life and work life. Because she's nine months old, so
you know, we have her on we have her on
a schedule loosely as much as you can have a
baby on a schedule.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
But like she and she knows it.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
You know, she naps at a certain time twice a
day and goes.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
To bed at a certain time, and.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
I am starting to miss some bedtimes and I'm starting
to fly and do shows and leave her back home
because when she was four or five months old. You know,
the younger they are, the more they sleep, and the
easier they are to like move around and take places.
You're scared because you don't want them around other people,
but they're easily transportable. And now she's like crawling and
(16:38):
wanting to learn to walk and more aware of surroundings
and getting you know, more distracted, and it's just harder
to take her out of her environment. But my job
is very rarely keeping me in the environment. So and
if I have to fly, I don't want to put
her through that, you know, So I am I mean
(17:03):
just being completely honest, Like it's very hard right now
for me to want to work all the time because
I want to be with her, but I also have
to work. It's like not, I mean, I'm not in
a place in my career where I can just say, well,
I'm just gonna take this time off.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I'm just not. I would love to be, but i'm not.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
And and I am so fortunate, So I'm not like
complaining at all, because we're very blessed. But it's just
right now, you know, I'm getting show offers and they're
on the West Coast, so those would be flight dates, right,
and we don't take the bus to the West Coast,
and I'm not going to take her to that because
(17:48):
it's a two hour time difference for her and we
would have to fly with a pack and play and
then set it up in a hotel room every night,
and then like it's just it doesn't work for her,
you know, And so I'm having to.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Leave her. And my husband is the best dad in
the world.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
And I have full confidence in him, thank god, because
if I didn't, that would really.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Be a problem.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
And my mom has helped out too, like his Actually,
my husband's out of town right now, and I have
to work today. I have a show tonight and it's
in town, which is good, but I'm still going to
miss bedtime. So my mother and father in law are
here helping with manny.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
But like, so that's a very year New Year. She's
making some noise. Sorry, my mom brain got distracted because
I can hear my child.
Speaker 6 (18:45):
No, it's it's a it's like a alarm goes off instant.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
It's crazy. I can hear her. I could hear her
at the neighbor's house. I think they had her at
the neighbor's house and she cried. I think I could
hear it. It's really wild. My husband could sleep through it.
I can sleep through Yeah. I think it's God made
it that way. I think I think mothers have like
something in our brain that we can hear it. I
(19:11):
don't know, it's crazy, but anyway, so you know, I've
got a couple of weeks coming up that I'm dreading
because I'll fly to the West Coast and play a
couple of shows and then fly home and I'll be
with her for two and a half days and then
I have to fly back to the West Coast and
like before her, I would have just stayed out there,
(19:34):
you know. But I can't put her through that because
each day I fly to a new like city, I think.
So I'm just I can't do that to her, Like
it's not fair to her. So I will be the
one that is, like you know, in California, where everybody's
so excited to be because it's sunny and beautiful, and
I'm going to be crying in the hotel room, missing
(19:56):
my child, looking.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
At her on the nanny camp. So but I'm also
showing her.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
You know, there's a flip to that where like I'll
when she gets older, I'll be able to tell her
and show her like I followed my dreams and I
did this and it was difficult, but you can do
whatever you want to do.
Speaker 6 (20:13):
So she's going to be so proud of you, Like
how cool is it to have you as a mom? Now?
Moms are cool? Right?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
I literally can't.
Speaker 6 (20:23):
I think it's fun. I mean, I listened to you,
and I'm like, that's that's incredible. She's going to look
up to somebody who, like you know, has not only
accomplished a lot, but done it in the midst of
being a good mom, And I think that's the best
representation in one of the greatest ways you can love
a child is doing that. And and so I hear this,
(20:47):
and I'm like, hey, a lot of people are going
to listen. Now, not everybody's going to be, you know,
needing to travel from Nashville to the West coast, but
people are going to hear this and they're going to say,
I've been there. I've been there where I've had to
figure out how to bring a pack and play and
I've been there where I've had to decide to make
the tough decision to know, leave my child at home
because it's not healthy for them. And that's more.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
And I have also made the decision to like not
take great opportunities because I want I'm not willing to
leave her for a certain amount of time. Like things
that I, you know, normally would have done, I'm not doing.
But she is the most important to me now, which
is crazy. Something has shifted in me because you know,
(21:30):
I have been doing this career since I was fifteen
years old, that is has that has been my baby
and now like she just said, Mama, and now she
is number one, and you know, I I have to
I have to put her first, and I want to
put her first. It's just hard to navigate and to
(21:50):
know what's right. And so my husband and I are
in a lot of conversations of like should I do
this and should I not do that? And you know
all moms, most moms eventually go back to work most months.
You know that they're and and if you don't, and
you're staying home with the kid all day, you're working
just as hard.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
So I am telling you the days that I am
home with her all day long.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
I go to bed more tired than I do when
I go to work.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
So it is a full time job being a mother anyway.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
So I just, yeah, I mean, there are so many
moms I understand understand that. I mean, and then the
kids have to go to school, and I mean, they're
just so many different things that like moms have to
The separation from your child is so hard because you
spend we spend nine months growing them and feeling them
and learning about them, and then you meet them and
(22:43):
then you're you know, essentially spend twenty four hours a
day with that baby for eight weeks at least. I mean,
but the first eight weeks, like for me, because I
breastped I don't really know another journey, but like they're
attached to your body for a long time. And then
(23:04):
we had a hard time figuring it out. So I
was either breastfeeding or giving a a bottle around the clock,
and I just spent all this time with her, you know,
and we're like so bonded together. It's crazy, the connection
between a baby and a mother. Like yeah, and so
it's just it's been really challenging to navigate. But I mean,
I I'd spent a lot of time praying about it,
(23:27):
trying to figure out what to do and what not
to do, and when is it worth when is it
worth it, and when is it not worth it? You know,
because I'm not going to miss everything. I'm not gonna
be gone all the time. I'm just not not going
to do that anymore. So, but I am lucky. Like
the Rascal Flights tour that you talked about with your
friend Chris, I.
Speaker 6 (23:48):
Do like Chris. I mean that when I said, no,
I know you do. I know.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
He's an easy guy to lie, so I'm sure. I mean, look,
it worked out for everybody. You both have beautiful families,
so it.
Speaker 6 (23:58):
Works out in the end. It's just a funny to
get here.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I'm gonna I'm gonna be looking this up there.
Speaker 6 (24:05):
I tell you you can. You can watch it on
TV if you'd like.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
I will be.
Speaker 6 (24:11):
It's anyway.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
So, uh, I don't even know what I was about
to say, no oh on the Rascal Flights tour. On
the Rascal Flights tour, I took a bus, so she
goes with me in that scenario. So like, that's where
I'm a very fortunate mother because most women don't get
to take their child with them to work, you know.
And my mom travels with me and keeps her while
(24:35):
I'm on stage and gets her, gives her a little
bath on the bus and puts her down, and I
get to spend the day with her, and then you know,
I go to work after you know, four or five
and see her the next morning. So that that helps,
because if we're on the bus, it's much.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Easier to figure out.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
But I'm not like the whole month of May or
flights like all my shows are flight eights. I'm not
a the bus one time, and I'm gone every weekend,
so pretty much every weekend.
Speaker 6 (25:05):
So I mean, yeah, you're this is a it's it's
a very relatable conversation because I think the balance that
you're you know, navigating is one that so many navigated.
My wife went back to work about four months in
and it's you know, five days a week for her.
She's gone from the house three of those days, and
(25:27):
it's difficult and the husband and wife, you know, have
to be on the same page. But then you also,
I think have this internal like just guilt because or
sadness from the disconnection. But you know I as I
was researching you and coming up with this, this is
a faith based show. So this whole show is based
(25:49):
around this, the idea of if God can hear you
right now in this you know stage of life, which
you know, I think as Christians we believe God came
in here, and we probably have good examples of that
in our own world. But the whole idea of the
show is, if God can hear you right now, your
prayer from your heart kind of where you're at personally,
(26:11):
what would that prayer be?
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Who Well, the last couple of years of my life
have been very life changing, not just because I became
a mothers I also lost my father, which I've talked
a lot about, So a lot of my prayers are
like praying for healing from that and also still trying
(26:40):
to be I mean, trying to be healed enough to
be a good mom and to be there for her
and to be and to do the right things and
to be you know, it's like polar opposite things happened
to me in a matter of two months. My dad
died and I found out I was pregnant two months later,
and she was a big surprise. So my biggest prayer
(27:01):
right now is just to heal from that and to
be present with her and to be a good wife
and a good mom and a good business woman. But honestly,
my career is like the thing I probably pray for
the least right now.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
It's really my art and my healing and being a
mom that.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Is most important to me right now, obviously, and especially
because I lost a parent and now I am her parent,
and I know.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
What it feels like to.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Lose a parent, and I had a really great dad
and I was really close with him, and.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Anyway, I just I pray about that a lot.
Speaker 6 (27:45):
You know. The reason I asked the question the way
it did is because there is one of the things
that I think I appreciate about your career and the
music you're putting out there is so much of it
has been written from the place in life that you're at,
like what it did happening in your world. If it's
a place of joy, it's you know, it's that. If
(28:06):
it's a place of sadness and healing, it's that we
just talked about all my exes the beginning, which is
like a throwback to a time in your life that
doesn't exist anymore? Right, you know you're not this is
again camera.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Yeah, I'm not a Rexes. I'm done with that nothing.
Speaker 6 (28:27):
Yeah. The question I have is, so as you write
music right now?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (28:35):
You know that you have talked openly about losing a parent,
and uh, it's I can't imagine. Obviously, you know those
days will come. But your story is probably helping heal
others while at the same time helping others feel less
alone and hopefully helping you feel less alone by the
(28:56):
feedback that you're getting. But like, how are you communicating
through music in this season of such highs and such loes.
You're happily married with a beautiful child, and yet you
have experienced loss recently that is life changing? How do
you write to bridge the gaps?
Speaker 2 (29:19):
You know?
Speaker 1 (29:20):
It depends on the day when I go in to
write a song kind of where my heart is.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
I wrote it. I wrote a song about.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Finding out about Benny, finding out being I was pregnant
with her. It's called Heaven Since one of my favorites
that I've written. I'm so sorry, I'm got my nose
is randing. Nothing's going well right now.
Speaker 6 (29:42):
I have I have a black eye from getting hit
in the face with a trash can blowing in the wind.
So we're all good.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Here.
Speaker 6 (29:48):
You do what you got to do.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
That is the most random thing I've ever heard. That's
a lie.
Speaker 6 (29:53):
No, it's not, you lie, No, it's not.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
I'm just kidding, just.
Speaker 6 (29:57):
Straight to the face. Broken nose last week, so we
can just be it.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Broke your nose.
Speaker 6 (30:02):
Yeah, we can just be weird together here. You can
blow your nose, you can wipe your nose, and I
my nose hasn't stopped like running and bleeding since last week.
So we'll just be in this together.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Okay, We'll just you know, keep going.
Speaker 6 (30:16):
We're good.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Lord knows so stupid. I'm a pun queen, I you know. Okay.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Anyway, So with my music now, you know, I I
kind of take it day by day, Like when I
go in to write a song, it depends on where
my heart is that day. I mean, right now, I'm
in just in pure bliss with this baby. So I've
been writing a lot of songs. I've actually working on
a song right now that I'm really excited about about
(30:47):
her and just becoming parents and stuff.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
But I mean I wrote Having Said, which was about
losing my dad and then.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Finding out about her and I actually went we put
it out last year, and then we went on you know,
the tour, and people brought me like onesies that said
Heaven sent or told me stories about losing their parents
and then finding out that they were pregnant or losing
someone close to them, and.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Music is so healing. It's pretty crazy.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
I mean, as someone who has the honor of being
able to write music, I'm so grateful. It's also hard, though,
to go in and share those things, you know, So
I mean every time I write a song, it's a
little bit different. But right now I am, you know,
in a stage of life where I'm writing about my
(31:38):
family and also lost like it is. It has been
such a crazy time to go through the most incredible, beautiful.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
Thing of my life.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
The best thing that's ever happened to me happened right
after the worst thing that's ever happened to me, Like
they happened pretty much simultaneously. So my heart has been
like just going in so many directions. But it's good
for making music because you tend to write the best
(32:10):
music when you really are feeling a lot. And I
remember writing songs as a little girl, like the first
song I ever wrote.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
My aunt had a car accident.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
I wrote a song for her in the hospital, and
that kind of started me writing songs because I was
so upset that she had had this car accident and
I didn't know what to do for her, and I said, Mom,
I can't do anything to help, and she said, why
don't you try to writing her a song. So that's
what got me into writing songs. And I really still
try to write from that place now. I do throw
in the exes all my exes vibes every once in
(32:46):
a while because that also is a part of my life.
But yeah, right now I'm in a season of healing
and grief and the most incredible, overwhelming love I have
ever felt, and so writing an album in that time
period has been pretty crazy because I, you know, I
(33:06):
wrote most of the album. I wrote a lot of
the album before dad died, and then Dad died and
so then I felt like, oh, I got to go
in and I've got to write these things.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
And I have my daughter and I'm like, I got
to write these things.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
So for me, this album that's about to come out,
it shares like all these different parts of my life
because I've lived so many different stages of life in
the last you know, fifteen years in the Spotlight, I
mean my whole life. I share about my whole life
in this album. But every time I write a song,
it's a little bit different.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I mean, you never know. I might go in and write.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
A song like all my exes right now too, you know,
because someone else in the room has this idea. So
I just try to be vulnerable and open and honest
and write wherever my heart.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Is that day.
Speaker 6 (33:52):
When's the album come out?
Speaker 2 (33:55):
When does this podcast come out?
Speaker 6 (33:57):
It's good question too.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
We have not announced, guess, but I'll put in here,
but we are announcing end of May.
Speaker 6 (34:10):
You're announcing so fans can pay attention for them to May,
for you to announce when this album will be coming
out and where they you know, when they can get
their hands on it. That's fair.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
It's also probably and I don't know, I'll have I
think Corey is listening, So I don't know if we
should should we even say we're announcing that in May?
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Or Yeah, maybe I'll say that, Corey. What do you think.
Speaker 6 (34:38):
We will? No, we'll definitely do that to.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
I can just say something a little more vague.
Speaker 6 (34:44):
If you want, yes, I'll ask about the album and
then you respond how you want. Okay, So you you
mentioned an album. Have you talked about when it's coming out?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
We have, we're not announcing yet.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
But and my fans they're literally my fans are so
mad at me because they're like asking me because we
put out last year. We put out five or six songs.
I think it was five songs, So people are like,
when's the album coming? It is coming. But you know
what's so funny about the album is, like I just said,
(35:22):
a second ago, you know, I was in the midst
of making this album, and then my dad passed and
then I, you know, got pregnant and had a baby,
and I was like, I can't put an album out
right now, Like what am I going to do?
Speaker 2 (35:35):
I have to have this child.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
And I'm not going to be touring for a few months.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
So that's why we put out five songs. We put
out five songs to kind of bridge the gap.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
And then All My Exes was the song that kind
of took off for us, and it just so happened
to feel really different than everything else on the album.
So then I was challenged again to go back in
and right and record some songs that kind of felt
like that part of my life and that vein just
to have things that you know, aligned with it, you know,
(36:10):
not necessarily even lyrically, just sonically, because sonically it was
so different. It was way more progressive, feeling like pop
leaning than the rest of the album. So then I
went back in and cut some pop laning stuff too.
So I feel, I know for a fact the album
is finished. I just mastered it last week, so it
is officially done, and we are putting the timeline and
(36:33):
everything together now, so we'll be banking big announcements.
Speaker 6 (36:36):
Well, you know, I would assume here I'm not an
expert in this. The anticipation is healthy and good. And
also from listening to you, this album feels like my
favorite type of albums, the cries from the heart of
the joys and the sorrows, you know, the times for
(36:56):
celebration and the times for grieving, and and I think
that makes the best albums because it takes us through
a story, and so of course you should take you know, time.
Of course there should be anticipation behind it because it
matters to you. And I think that's wonderful. I want
to switch gears in the last few minutes we have
(37:17):
here and talk about your faith. Your faith is a
driving force behind all that you do. And there's an
interest And I might have got this wrong, and so
correct me if I do. But there's an interesting element
here that I think people will be They've always been
intrigued by and you know, in there in life, but
(37:42):
also sometimes confused by. Your stepfather passed away as well.
And when he was passing, the thing I read was
that he was getting glimpses of heaven. Now, hey, who
am I to doubt it? Who am I to question it?
Don't know? Right, But we hear those stories, and we
(38:06):
usually hear them in their like best selling novels on
I Saw Heaven and I Came Back or something like that.
For somebody like you, I'm this is a question out
of just curiosity and being intrigued. What is seeing that
and hearing that and being along for that journey? What
was going on?
Speaker 4 (38:25):
Like?
Speaker 6 (38:25):
What were you learning? What were you experiencing? What was
he experiencing?
Speaker 1 (38:31):
It's other than having my child and literally birthing a
child and then placing that child on me and like
being like, whoa, what is going on it. It was
the most unbelievable experience I have ever witnessed in my life.
You know, my stepdad, I was very close with him
(38:53):
as well. It's very fortunate to have him in my
life as well.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
And he.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Got cancer, are very aggressive cancer. By the time they
found it it was stage four. He fought as hard
as he could, but the chances weren't high when he
started fighting, and they got you know, lower and lower,
and he ultimately didn't make it. And I just remember
it in that season of life extreme anger for me,
(39:20):
horrendous anger. I come from a very faith filled family.
You know, we believe in the power of prayer, and
we believe in miracles, and we believe in healing. And
it started becoming very clear or you know, I started
feeling like, you know, maybe he's not going to be healed,
maybe this like and I started really not understanding why
(39:44):
that would happen if we were all praying and believing,
you know, in those scenarios though, I think you start
you start playing God and you don't mean to, but
you start thinking this can't be the plan, you know,
and we don't know the bigger plan. But for me,
in that season, I so angry, and I'd never prayed more,
begging God for a miracle, begging God for any sort
(40:06):
of relief for him, because he was in so much
pain and just going through such a just so horrific thing.
To for someone to walk through and to witness it
is horrific as well, and.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
One of those things you just don't understand, you know.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
And I remember he got sent home on hospice, and
so he was, you know, in the living room and
in his hospital bed, and we were all just spending
as much time with him as we could and helping
mom out, kind of taking shifts, helping to nurse him
and help him out with the things that he needed
at the time. And I remember it was like a
(40:42):
few days before he died. I was sitting on a
mom's back porch and I had this moment with God
where I said, I've been very open about this and
it's going to be like shocking to some people, but
I said, I.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Know, I know you're out there.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
I'm pretty sure you're out there, and I know you
can you know you're you're probably listening to me, But
when he dies, I'll never talk to you again. I
remember saying that to God. I was so mad, so hurt,
and just so confused and so lost in my own grief.
(41:23):
And like two days later was the day he died.
And he had been silent and sleeping quite a bit
for a few days at that point, so we knew the.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
End was near.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
Just kind of a waiting game of when it's you know,
it was his time, and the hospice nurses, who were
absolutely wonderful, told us that he may never like wake
back up, and it just you know, at some point
he may just.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Pass, but that was not our experience. He woke up randomly.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
We were all in the living room with him, and
he goes, I found it, I mean, as clear as day.
And we were all like, I mean we were just
sitting there as a family, like so sad. And my
mom said, you found what, Sam, what's going on?
Speaker 2 (42:15):
You found what? And he said, Heaven? And I wish
you could see it. It's so beautiful.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
And you know, me over there telling God, I was
like never going to talk to him again.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
I was like, oh boy, this this is not good.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
And he he goes. I mean, there were so many
crazy moments, but he looked so peaceful. It was really hard.
It's hard to explain someone who had we had zero
peace at the time. The room filled with peace, and
he goes mom and he like saw his mother and
(42:52):
like started talking to his mother and my mom was like,
what else do you see?
Speaker 2 (42:56):
Sam? And he said.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Jesus said he's so beautiful and I wish you guys
could see this.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
I can't believe this.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
And then he said this really funny thing. He goes,
I'll never forget this either. He goes, what are you
doing here?
Speaker 2 (43:09):
And I the time because that was the same thing,
and he was really funny and quirky, and I was like,
who did he see? He was like, I don't know
if it was maybe somebody he knew that he didn't
know had passed. I have no idea. I think about
it all the time. But he goes, what are you
doing here?
Speaker 1 (43:27):
But like it was probably a fifteen to twenty minute
thing where he was kind of explained, I mean, just
looked in awe and just like completely just it was crazy,
you know, Like, and the thing about faith is it's
like it's you, it's blind faith.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
You don't you have to believe in something that you
can't see. And I couldn't see it, but he could
and I was like, I'm going there. I've got to
get my act together. I going there.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
I do not want to go anywhere else when I die.
I want to see my mom. I want to go mom,
you know. And he ended up saying, you know, and
he thought so hard to live. He really wanted to live,
but he.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
Made it okay for us that he wasn't going to,
like he felt such peace, and he said, I have
to go now. I have to go now.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
But I love you guys, and I'm going to see
you again. I'm going to see you again. And I
can't wait for you to get to see this. And
those were his last words, and he died a few
hours later. He shut his eyes and he died a
few hours later. It wasn't like he said that and
then he died right then. But he died later that night.
But unbelievable, like even me telling you just I can't
(44:49):
believe that happened to my family, Like I was in
the room for something like that. And you do see
these stories and you're like, really, you like went to
heaven and came back like what are you talking about?
I don't know, cause it's just oh miraculous, I mean,
and he didn't come back. He went there, but he
seemed really excited to go there, like it is beautiful
and peaceful. And you know, my nephew was four or
(45:13):
five months old at the time, and he was there.
The other my other nephew was a little bit older son.
I don't think he was there. I think he was
with his grandparents. But you know, my sister in law
was breastfeedt Oh my gosh, now that I think about
four months POSTPARTU, I'm dealing with.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
That for her. Oh my gosh. That I've never thought
about it like that. I've just had that moment.
Speaker 6 (45:40):
And my wife and I have a rule in her
house when we have a moment like that where all
of a sudden we get a different perspective or picture
of somebody else, we immediately have to text them and say, hey,
I was thinking about you and this is why, because
sometimes like those are a little like kisses from God.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
God.
Speaker 6 (45:58):
Yeah, I had to like be like, hey, this was
brought up for a reason today, and it's not just
to talk to Ben. Maybe it's you know, to tell
somebody you're thinking about him. How how did you kind
of reapproach God. Then after this, obviously that prayer is
one so many of us have prayed, right, Like, God,
I don't know if you're still there? Can you hear me?
(46:20):
Are you listening? Do you do you understand the pain
I'm experiencing. God, I am I'm lost, and if you're real,
I need you to show up. Those prayers are not uncommon.
Speaker 2 (46:32):
Well he showed it.
Speaker 6 (46:33):
Yeah, but the re entry point to be like, hey,
I didn't mean it, like I.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
Still I still I am sorry. I was like, let
me say that prayer again where I'll ask you back
into my heart. Just be sure you're still in there,
because I didn't, like, al I messed that up? Let
me just no, I'm kidding.
Speaker 6 (46:49):
How did you go back to? Like? What was your
conversations like with God? After that?
Speaker 1 (46:54):
Then it actually changed the way I talked to God
because I I felt I started to feel a little
bit safer in sharing. I mean, I did feel shame
in saying that prayer, but I also like I started
a real healing journey. After that, I went to this
(47:15):
place in Nashville called on Site, which was super transformative
for me, and it actually that moment completely just redefined
the way I see God and I have I have honest,
real conversations with him regularly now, Like someone said to
me after that, that's okay to have that conversation with God.
(47:38):
Like he's said, you're supposed to be a father to you.
He wants to father you, and you're not always gonna
get like did you always get along.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
With your father?
Speaker 1 (47:48):
And I was like no, so you know you you questioned,
like it's okay to ask questions.
Speaker 2 (47:53):
I got. I got a much more.
Speaker 1 (47:57):
It wasn't just a It changed may I say my
prayers before I go to bed at night like check
in a box thing. Not that that's the only thing
I was doing, but it became more of an open
line of communication for me, where like I do ask
questions and I do wait to him and get angry
(48:20):
and you know, and also celebrate. So it definitely changed
my outlook on prayer. It was a very definitive moment
for me, and I think it, you know, made my
faith stronger in the long run for sure.
Speaker 6 (48:36):
Yeah, what I hear there is like an authenticity of
prayer at all stages and I have zero doubt that
God can handle it. That this wasn't pushing anything anything
further away, but the authentic authenticity of the beating of
the chest and the crying of the heart to a
god above who hears and knows is one of the
(49:01):
most beautiful things in this world and also something that
I think, listening to you, so many of us could
learn from. Is that open line of God. I'm not
doing my best right now, and I don't know if
you are either. I can't see you in this Tell
me what's up? Show up? Please? I need you more
(49:23):
than ever. It's wonderful because I think we have a
God who cares.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
My daughter is groof that we have a God who
cares because we were not we you know, we're not
planning on her or trying for her. And she came
into my life in that time when I needed her
more like he knew that she Yeah, she's such a
gift to me from him.
Speaker 2 (49:50):
And I think, my.
Speaker 1 (49:51):
Dad, Yeah, it's beautiful, Lauren, All my dad's up there, cinner.
Speaker 6 (49:58):
Yeah, that's h I want to know. I want to
know who he saw too.
Speaker 2 (50:05):
Isn't that crazy? What are you doing here? I will
ask him when I get there. I'm like, heyme, that
moment when you were.
Speaker 6 (50:12):
Like who threw you off a little bit?
Speaker 2 (50:21):
And I know what.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
I don't know if it was like was it some
when he didn't think was getting there yeah?
Speaker 2 (50:26):
Or like a dang you what are you doing here? Wow?
Speaker 6 (50:33):
Well I know you got to show tonight. I know
you got a baby to take care of. Hey, friends,
thanks for listening or watching. Would you take a second, follow, subscribe,
and drop a comment. It really helps
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