June 18, 2026 • 53 mins
"Some days are not easy. You know? And so what do I do? I text my therapist. I got her out of retirement. She told me she was retiring. I go, "you can't! I need you!'"-Rosie Perez Experience the full conversation on the "Joy 101 podcast with Hoda Kotb" wherever you listen to podcasts. Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb is Presented by CVS. Shop your local CVS, right around the corner. Experience the full conversation on the "Joy 101 podcast with Hoda Kotb" wherever you listen to podcasts. For more information please visit us at www.joy101.com/podcast
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
O guy. So I've been thinking a lot about sports, okay,
because I feel like I've been talking to so many
different people, and these athletes have become sort of their
pin up person, the person who they looked to for inspiration.
So I spoke to Mrisha Hargate a couple of days
ago when she talked to me about Jalen Brunson, who
(00:32):
is a star player for the NIXT and she said
one of the things she loved about him was that
no matter how great things got or how crummy things got,
Jalen was in it for the work. He was in
it for the work. It didn't matter how high things
went or how low. And she admired that because he
has a love of the work. So I started thinking
about other athletes who have something similar to that, and
(00:54):
they're everywhere, people who are in it for the sheer
love of it. Forget about if you get an award
for yet about whatever the thing is, it's just that
do you love what you are doing? And I actually
started thinking about my own mom. So this is so crazy.
So when I was growing up, my mom always went running. Okay,
every morning, she'd lace up her shoes. Who wants to
(01:15):
come no no, nobody wanted to go. She would run,
she would run, she would run. When she turned sixty,
she decided that she was going to run her first marathon. Okay,
my brother and sister and I were like, oh my god,
wait what. My mom was running the Marine Corps Marathon.
So she loved run it. She just loved it. She
didn't care what place, she didn't care anything. So the
three of us, my brother, sister, and I went to
(01:37):
watch her run the Marine Corps Marathon. It was burning hot,
it was a November day in DC, and she was sweating.
At mile six, she was like drenched. My sister goes,
my god, Mom is dying. Like someone has to get in.
Someone's got to get in. My sister had on sandals
and my brother had on loafers, and I had sneakers on.
So I was the one who was elected to jump
in the race with my mom. So I get in
(01:58):
at mile six and start running with her. Were running,
We're talking, She's delirious. We're at mile twelve, we're at
mile fifteen. You know, I'm like, you know, I'm in
pants or whatever. It was like one of those weird
running experiences, but it was so great. But there's the
thing in the Marine Corps Marathon that if you don't
get to a certain point by mile twenty three, they
open the roads up, right, so everybody gets to go,
(02:21):
all the cars get to come through. And I'm looking
at my watch and I know we're close to the time,
and I see a policeman in front of us, and
we're at mile twenty three or twenty four of a
twenty six point two mile race. We're near the end.
We get there and the guy blows his whistland says,
get on the bus because there's a bus right there.
And I see faces of people on the bus at
mile twenty four of twenty six, right, So I go, Mom,
(02:45):
get it, I go, just follow me, follow me. We're
like such rebels. So I start running past the police officer.
My mom's following me and giggling. It's all all the
highways open to traffic, so cars are literally licking the
side of us as we're running. She squealed with delight.
It was amazing. We get to the bottom of the
EWO Gema Memorial and I just dead stop and I
(03:06):
watch her. I have a towel in my hand and
I'm swinging it around and I watch her run up
that hill and my brother and sister on the top
of the hill, and I see my brother, my sister's
crying and my brother's crying although he claimed he was
hungry whatever. Anyway, she finishes the race, and I'll never
forget it as long as I live. It's like, if
(03:26):
she can do that, I can do this. She's in
it for the work, the love of it, and the accomplishment,
which brings me to the guests we're about to have on. Okay,
so my guest is not an athlete, but she loves boxing. Okay,
she loves to box. Boxing is a metaphor for her life.
(03:49):
It is when you fall down, you get up. When
you fall down, you get up. I'm talking about Rosie Perez.
You may know her as an Oscar and Emmy nominated actress,
so much more than that, you guys. She is the
definition of resilience and joy. She is someone who has
overcome what I believe to be imaginable things in her
(04:11):
youth and she emerged as this incredible, blossoming flower. And
I think after you listen to this conversation with Rosie,
you will say, if she can do that, all the
things she's been through, then I can do this. So
I hope you enjoy this conversation. I'm just going to
(04:33):
say this to you. When I started this podcast, they
said who do you want? And I thought of you
immediately because a you and I have this weird connection
which I have felt since the first time I met you,
And secondly, because I think you're one of the most
fascinating people I've ever met. So I just want to
(04:53):
point out for people listening, Rosie rolled up by herself.
You didn't have like fifteen people. You came in, You
look glamorous. Were you inn a fender bender or something?
On the way? What happened?
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I ordered an Uber yeah, and the uber driver got
an accident, and and I.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Was like, oh my gosh, I gotta go. Are you okay?
He goes, no, I'm not okay.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Look at my car and I go, oh, I'm so sorry.
By the way, I'm fine, And then I just I
just hurried up back home because it was just a
block away. I ordered another one and got in, and I.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Mean, this is, by the way, I just want to say,
this is very emblematic or symbolic of how you live
your life. Something happens You're like, okay, fine, next, like
you don't let someone else would have walked in here
and said, oh my god, you're not You didn't even
bring it up. I only knew because you said I'll
be a couple of minutes late. I happened to have
gotten into an accident. But that's kind of how you
navigate life.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Yeah, yeah, I mean my earlier life was just so
chaotic and stressful that when I get stressed now, I
just have like a reality check and like, girl, things
are not that bad. You know you know what bad? Yes,
you know? And so I just kind of have always
(06:15):
been an optimistic person. I've always been the person who
saw the glass half full, not half empty. I always
felt like better things are to come. Used to drive
people crazy when I was younger. It would irritate them.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Why because they wanted you to feel the pain of life.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
They wanted me to feel the pain of life. And
then there were others that well, one of the girls
that I grew up with, Lydia I we're still friends
to this day. We've known each other since we were
four years old. And she said, I remember the day
when someone said you think you're special? And I was
(06:54):
nine years old, and I said, no, I know him special,
and so are you. Why don't you know it a
nine years old and nine years old?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Okay, And it's just who I want. So I want
to let's go there because I just want art listeners
to know about you. So people meet you now you
are real. You're an oscar An Emmy nominated actress. People
know you from a million different types of movies. But
if someone had met you Rosie at five years old,
(07:27):
what child would they have met? Picture yourself at five?
Where you were?
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I was in a convent and in being raised by nuns.
Some of them were very sadistic, others were great. With
all children that I wasn't related to related to, There
was a few that I was, but I didn't know
I was related to them. And I was a kid
that was always singing, always dancing, and always laughing and
(07:58):
had a bad temper.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
They are all your things. So you said you were
in this convent or children who were unwanted or orphans,
but you weren't an orphan. You had a mom and
a dad, So how did you wind up there?
Speaker 2 (08:15):
My mother and father had an affair. I'm a product
of a scandalous scandalous, you know, explain a lot an affair.
And back in those days, you know, if you had
the child, you know, because my family was Catholic, you
would put them in a convent. But there was no
(08:35):
reason for me to be placed there because my mother
gave me away when I was a week ago to
my father's sister, so I thought she was my mother,
and she came back four years later only to rip
me out of my aunt's arms and send me to
this Catholic home for unwanted, displaced or orphan children.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Wow, so you were raised by a woman you thought
was your mom. It was your aunt, yes, and then
your mom one day just got a wild hair and
came in and got you. Yeah, so weird, right.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
It is weird. She suffered from paranoid schizophrenic. She was
a paranoid schizophrenic. I still don't understand it to this day,
and I've learned to just let it go because it
used to drive me crazy, you know. And so, you know,
and being in a place where you're not related to anybody,
(09:32):
you start to really understand human nature on a certain level.
I can come in a room and I can assess
everybody's personality, but I keep it quiet myself, because that
was how I learned how to survive. So I could
tell who were the bad kids, who were the nice kids,
who were the manipulative kids, who were the kids who
wanted to be in cliques, who were the leaders, who
were their jealous ones. You just learned that very very quickly.
(09:56):
And I just gravitated to the silly nerds, you know,
and since I always loved old movies and I would
watch them with my aunt and everything, and you know,
I would just always be dancing and singing all the time.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
You had that sunny personality and that you're this bright light.
Yet when I think about the way that you were
raised there at this convent for kids who weren't wanted, well,
how did you endure? Like how bad did it get there?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
It got really bad if you can think of the darkest,
It was really bad. There were children who were being
beaten on a daily. I was beaten a lot because
this one nun I don't want to say her real name.
I call her sister Ranada, but that's not her real name.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
You know.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
She always would say I'm gonna beat that spirit out
of you, and then I would just go, no, you
won't and then smack smack, smack, it's still there. Smack
smack smack. It was like that. And then there were
kids that were molested by priests and by nuns and
by counselors. There were kids that were heavily medicated. You
(11:20):
had to go see a therapist once a week on
the grounds. He would, you know, sit there and smoke
a pipe in front of a kid. It was weird
back then, and just ask you the same questions over
and over, and you were terrified. You were terrified because
(11:40):
if you answered incorrectly, or if you behave misbehave too much,
you know that you were going to be placed on
medication and that those kids would come back like zombies.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Yeah, how did you endure? I mean, you're a kid.
I mean I was thinking about my own kids. I
have a seven year old and a nine year old,
so I think, how does I can't imagine them surviving
in this kind of environment. How did you?
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Through the grace of God and through the love of
my aunt and my father who I later found out
was my father thought he was my uncle, and through
some of the counselors that worked there, and I had
(12:29):
a volunteer which they call a big sister now miss Claudia.
She would take me. She was actually the kindergarten teacher
and she would take me on the weekends if my
mother would prevent my aunt or my father allowing me
to go home on the weekends. There was Sister Anne,
(12:49):
I could say her name. She was so lovely and
sweet and young. And there was Sister Margaret Francis that
changed my life. She was one. She's the one that
in a positive way, she never hit me, she never
berated me. But she was also very stern in a
(13:12):
very very firm but loving way. And she was always
the person that's saying, you need to think about your
future and I'm going nine and she would crack up.
And I remember she was the first person to call
me a pip. She said, Rose, you're a pip And
(13:34):
I went, oh, is that pip whip possess? There she goes,
you know, so that's who I was, you know so uh.
And she was the one that she left the order,
She left the convent, which was scandalous. Uh. And she
came back a couple of weeks later after she left,
and she was sitting at the dining room table and
(13:55):
she grabbed my arm and she said, get out of
here anyway you can. Your ticket out is your brain.
Put your head down, study hard, and get out because
you can make it. But you have to do it.
You have to do it. Promise me you're going to
do it. And she was squeezing my hand, my arm
so hard, and I went, I promise you, and there
(14:16):
was tears coming down her eyes. I've never seen System
Markrap Francis ever cry and and she was just like,
promise me and I I promise. I promised. She said, okay,
got up and left. I never saw again I ever.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
So she changed the course of your life there.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
She changed the course of my life.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Boy, one person can do that.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
One person. But it's if you think about it. It
also was a village, yes you know what I mean
it was. It was a village. And people can change
a young person's life. People. You know, that's what I
always tell people. Give back, give back because you don't know,
you don't know who you're gonna have fet Yeah, you know,
So this is what you do every time I tell
(14:59):
you what st a crying And I know you're pulling
it back. You're really good at pulling it back. But
I could see it.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Yeah, well, I think it's beautiful because I mean when
I look at you right now sitting here, I actually
picture the little kid and the idea that through all
of that. Here you sit here, you sit cast in
white lotus. Here you sit in all these movies. Here
you sit with Oscar and Emmy nominations. Here you sit
(15:26):
with people on the street going Rosie. You know, from
that little kid to this. So you wanted to be
you were in some kind of what biochemistry? What was it?
What was your major's bio chemistry? What did you want
to do?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I wanted to be the female Jack Gusteau, which wasn't
really small because I didn't like to get into the ocean.
I was afraid of the ocean, Okay. And I didn't
like to get in water because I didn't like to
get my hair wet.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Girl. Okay, I just want to say, I feel seen.
I feel incredible. If it starts raining, you think there's
incoming fire, I am like running weather sensitive air, Okay, continue, Yes.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
But I was fascinated, and it was because talking about
half glass. Yeah, half full is because I almost drowned
in Seaside Heights, New Jersey in a riptide, and I
kept having these nightmass about all these sea creatures pulling
me down. And I loved the show Jack Gusteau, and
(16:25):
so I was like, I'm going to be I'm going
to be that. I'm going to conker these.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
It's so funny. The thing you're the most terrified of,
that's what you keep jumping into. Like, okay, so you
were doing that for a while, but you are also
gifted in so many ways. You love to dance, So
dancing took up a big chunk of your life when
you weren't studying, right, yes, tell me about that.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
I used to go to the nightclubs religiously. I would
go to the night clubs maybe five six times a week.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
And the only.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Reason why I could sustain that and still go to
school and have a job job was because I was
straight edged. I didn't smoke, I didn't drink. I didn't
do anything until I met my best friend Pae Julie,
and uh so it was just like, you know, I
was just I was free, you know what I mean.
I was on my own. I was free. I was
(17:17):
I was going to uh create my path, and I
just wanted to enjoy life every single moment that I
was awake. I wanted to enjoy life, even if I
wasn't doing anything. That had to be quality time of
I love being bored, and I have to have quality boredom.
That quality bottom is when you sit on the couch
(17:40):
and you turn on TCM, you know what I mean,
and you have your favorite cup of tea there, you know,
or maybe a nice glass of white Sancia, you know,
or some other coutroons, and you know, and you don't
answer the phone, you don't do anything. It's just that, Okay,
it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
You're discipline because you are where you are because you
just said, I didn't know you had jobs and dancing
and work. How did wake? What was a normal day
when you were that age? And you do all the things.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
When I was going to college, get up at the
crack of dorn, go to one community college, take the
bus all the way Acrosstown in LA, go to another
community college, then take the bus back Acrosstown and go
work at Sizzler's. Which I hated was that the steakhouse. Yes,
(18:33):
Sizzla Steakhouse. And it was good because then like while
you know someone, when someone ordered like the endless bucket
of shrimp. I was like, yes, because I would, you know,
just because I was starving. And then after that job,
I would go and work at Golden Bird Fried Chicken
(18:53):
at the office. And then after that job, I would
work at a record store doing inventory on La Brea Avenue,
and then I would.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Go home, and you were you did your homework in between.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I did my homework in between. I would do my
homework before I went to bed, and then I would
be finished because I was very, very disciplined. And then
it was like time to go.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
To the clubs and you would dance in the night.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I would dance. I would always be at the clubs early,
like at nine o'clock when it was ladies nights, so
I could get in for free. And then I would
leave the club at eleven. Everybody's like, where are you going?
So I gotta go to bed.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Yeah, oh my god. Okay, So you wound up on
Soul Train, which was like put you kind of in
the national spotlight, although you didn't get paid. You were
just dancing. What did you like about Soul Train.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Dancing?
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Yeah? What did it give you?
Speaker 2 (19:44):
What's the feeling that I couldn't believe that I was
on television and that Don Cornelius was right in front
of me, you know, and it was just fun. And
then you're seeing like your favorite recording artists.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
So did they find how did you even get that gig?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
I was working. No, I was dancing with my girls,
with my college buddies at Florentine Gardens. I don't know
if it was Hollywood a sunset on Ladies' Night and
the talent scout from SoulTrain was at the club and
he said, I want you to be on soult Train
(20:21):
and I went what And I can't believe it? And
I said, can my girlfriend's come and goes do they
look like you? I said better? And I told my
girls to come on over and they did and we
all got invited down.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Wow, and that was that ended up being like a
career changer. So you're dancing on SoulTrain, people are noticing you,
but your dad isn't such a fan.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
No no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
What happened?
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Oh? Man? I thought, like, because back then Puerto Rico
didn't get all the American channels, So I'm thinking he'll
never going to see this. He's never going to see this.
Because every time I would go back to Puerto Rico.
I had, like, you know, the dresses with the collar
up to him and this leave down here and you know,
and you know the good you know, little Catholic girl
and you know this young puppy you know like that,
(21:08):
and then cut to you know, and and he was
they said, he was more about he was so for me.
And he goes, I go, hi, daddy, how are you.
I saw you where in the Soul Trained TV? And
I went oh, and he goes, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Quit. I quit. You really respected your dad? Huh oh yeah, yeah. Yeah.
By the way, did was your mom still around? And she's, yeah,
do you have any contact?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
My father made me. My father made me have contact
with her, and I resented it, and you know, in hindsight,
I'm glad he did. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
He forced you.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
He forced me.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
So you. I mean, look, you're a great dancer, but
you were made for movies and TV and stuff. And
Spike Lee was the one who found you, which I
first of all, I'm just so excited watching Spike on
the sidelines of the next Are you freaking out? By
the way about the next? Really quick? Okay, So Spike
sees you and cast you.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
But how well Hampy was is that I was leaving
California because I didn't like it. So I was going
to transfer to Stony Brooks out in Long Island. And
it was my last night in LA and one of
the people from Soldier said, they're they're having this party
(22:44):
and they're asking some of the soldiering dancers to come down,
so it looks like it's a party. Will you come?
I go nah, And my girlfriend Mary Wade goes, let's go.
She was never on Soldier. She's my college buddy, and
she was transferring to Howard and we were going to
fly to DC and then drive up to New York.
So we went. They're having a butt contest because he
(23:06):
was promoting school Days and the record that was the
hit for the movie was doing the butt and so
these girls were like bending over and everything, and I said,
is this what you want? And I got up on
a on a riser on a m speaker and I.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Said, this is what you want. Don't let this is what.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Y'all look like. Spike Lee comes over with two bodyguards
and I go, oh, I'm scared, and he goes, get down,
get down, And I got down and I am trembling.
He can see I'm trembling that I'm scared. But I
fronted and I went what and he goes he starts laughing.
(23:48):
He goes, where are you from? And I said Brooklyn
and he goes he starts laughing again. I said, what
the that's so funny and he goes, oh my god,
this is fate tonight. It's fate. It's fate, and he
starts laughing. So I was gonna go He goes, no, no, no, no,
no way, I'm telling you. I'm telling you this is fate.
Tonight is paye. You're an actress. I go, I'm not
(24:09):
an actress. I'm gonna buy Kim Major and he goes, no,
you're an actress. Tonight is fate. And I went, oh,
you wish and he starts laughing again. You're like totally
poking him and I'm not getting it. Yeah, And my
girlfriend Marian is like, roh, shut up. This is Spike Lee.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
I go, hoo, oh you didn't know who he was?
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Do you know who he was?
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Oh my gosh, I didn't know who he was.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
And then he told his produce a MOUNTI wars at
the time, give him my card and I looked at
the car and I'm thinking it's never gonna happen. Yeah,
And it just kept making him laugh and he followed
me out. He says, call me, Okay, you're gonna call me.
You're gonna call me. And I said, what is this
(24:53):
a scene from Saturday Night peeb Tony? You're gonna call
me Tony? You didn't call me? You know that scene
or when he's up on the bridge ready to.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Kill him something?
Speaker 2 (25:02):
You didn't call me? Tell me, right? And so Spike
just keeps laughing. I leave the club and I throw
the card into the garbage and it's one of those
ten round big things. Marion dove into that garbage and
took out. She goes, are you crazy?
Speaker 1 (25:20):
You can't let this one go there? And so you get?
You get? She called him?
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Did she called him the next morning?
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
He says, I don't want to talk to you. I
want to talk to the girl with the Puerto Rican accent.
Now in La no one could figure out what my accent.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
They were probably like, what is that right?
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Right? Yeah, he goes, he want to talk to the
girl with the Puerto Rican accent. And that got my interest.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
So you were like, I'm into this. So you get
cast and do the right thing. It's amazing. And then
this shocked me. So you are in this movie, it
gets lots of recognition. You don't get another part right away,
you don't. No one's signing you. Like what happened? I mean,
and this was a big deal.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Well everyone thought it was just a fluke, and it
was even a I remember a reporter said she's a fluke.
And I saw him years later when he interviewed me
for Fearless, and I said, do you remember.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
And by the way, we should point out Fearless is
where you got your OSCAR nomination. So so this this
guy came up again. Okay, So it's funny, by the way,
how we don't forget like an ouch that comes even
that early in our career. So it's like you can
see the headline, you can think about the person.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Yeah, that's my childhood trauma. Yeah, because that was like,
sister Ranata, you're never going to amount to anything. And
I said, yes, I am, you know. So it was
that and I decided to go back to college to finish,
and my aunt was so upset. She wanted me to
(26:59):
go back and get a job. Nobody. She goes, do
you can get a job? And I said, oh my god,
and then yeah. But when the premiere came out, I
sat in the theater and I sat there, couldn't move,
tears coming down my eyes, and my half sister goes,
(27:19):
is it the Newity? And I went no, it's the magic.
I said, this is what I want to do. Spike
Lee was right and that was it and nobody, no calls, no, nothing,
this and that. So I did my research and I
started asking, how do actors get jobs? You need an agent.
(27:41):
How do you get an agent? Well that's tricky, you know.
I was like, it's a catch twenty two and I
was like oh. And then one actor said, well, there's
this magazine called Backstage and it's a casting call. And
I went on it and I saw a casting for
this HBO movie starring Forrest Whittakutt and Anthony Lapogna and
(28:04):
Jennifer Gray, and I went out for it.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
I just went in, just cold. You just were's Rosie
knocking on the door at the casting call. What happened?
Speaker 2 (28:12):
I got the roll, I got the role, and then
Jennifer Gray goes, who's your agent? And there was this
woman at the time that was trying to rep me,
but she asked if I could get a nose job
and dye my hair blonde, and so I buy it.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Yeah, I'm trying to think that the number of people
who probably tried to change you, and you're so perfect
as you are, but they probably said, yeah, get rid
of the accent, get rid of it. Everyone wants to
change everybody, even in the news business. They're like, cut
your hair like this, talk like this, be like that,
stand like this, and you resisted all of that.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Yeah, I didn't know that about the news.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah they did. They did that early on. They would
tell you get the you have to have this look,
get the blazer, drop your voice three octaves, because you know,
everybody had to have this kind of thing that you
I had someone who went through my whole closet when
I started working at NBC. They're like no, no, no, no,
maybe no no no, and they took me right to
(29:10):
a hair salon and I got this cut that is
definitely yuck. But at the time they were like, you
got to get this. But it was everybody trying to
make you into something that fits there mold just like
for you. So knows job this blonde here, You're like bye.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
So then what Jennifer Gray. She said, come up to
my room. And we were on location in Pennsylvania, in Pittsburgh,
and I went up to a room and I thought
we were just going to hang out and I'm thinking, oh,
this is so cool because I liked her instantly, and
(29:48):
she said hang on a second. And she called her agent,
Jane Blina and Kevin Huvain and said you need to
sign this girl. And they said, who was it, Rosie Perez.
She was in do the right thing and they said,
signed right then and there over the phone. And so
it was Jennifer Gray. Once again, someone came in and
(30:10):
changed my life, you know. And that was see yeah, wow,
Jennifer Gray.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Shout out to Jennifer Gray. She just she just saw
it in you. It seems like Spike saw it in you.
Jennifer saw it in you. Did you see it in you?
Speaker 2 (30:27):
I did. I didn't like when he asked me to
be in the movie. I was so scared, you know.
And I had to audition for Robbie Reid and she said,
you're good, this is what you should be doing. And
I went really and she said yeah, and I said okay, well,
thank you, and I was walking out, I heard her
(30:49):
on the phone and she says, Spike castor done. And
so I didn't see it. I didn't see it. But
when I saw the premiere, I saw it. But I
also the person I am also saw the room for improvement.
I was like, oh, I could have did this differently. Yeah.
(31:11):
And it was because on the set of Do the
Right Thing, it was mister Danny Iello who told me
to come to set every day even when I wasn't working,
and to sit next to him on the days he
was working. And he goes, let me show you how
a ghost kid. And he says, first of all, you
got to calm down. And I was like, okay, And
(31:35):
he just was giving me tricks of the trade and stuff.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
He became a student, he seems like, you're you're a
perpetual student. Yes.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Yes, that's the one thing the convent did well. Yes, yes,
they were preparing as well as they could have in
their way, the kids for real life. And so it
wasn't just about book learning. It was also about life learning.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
You know.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
They taught us how to cook, they taught us how
to take care of our clothes. They taught us how
to do the laundry and this and clean and this
and this, not because a lot of the children aged out,
meaning once they got to eighteen years old, they had
to get out by law. And we would see that
a lot, and it was terrifying. It was terrifying the
(32:27):
pressure on it. But you just ended up. Every day
was a lessie.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Every day was a lesson. I mean, it's so interesting
because you know the rejection that comes in your industry,
in the acting industry, all the time, people don't like
what you're doing, how you're doing it, change theys, do this,
do that. But I was wondering if, because of the upbringing,
what you've been through, I'm sure rejection felt like a
(32:53):
nat on your shoulder. It's like, oh, they said, no, okay.
I mean, how did that prepare you? Because a lot
of people can't stomach the rejection of Hollywood. It's too
hard someone to your face saying you're not good enough,
you're not what we're looking for, You're not right. You know,
tell me how you was stood that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
I did that because, like some of the children in
the home, got to go to outside school. That only
meant public school, which was funny because most of the
public kids wanted to be in the Catholic school, but
it was a strategy on the Catholic Church's part to
integrate us into public life. And I remember this one
(33:36):
teacher who hit me in class, and I was so
tired of being hit, so I hit her back, and
she dragged me out of the classroom. This is first grade,
by my hair. And she told all the children she's
in that convent because she's a bad girl, and this
(33:59):
is the reason why. And nobody wants her, not even
her mother wanted her. I remember this. I remember this,
and I was crying, crying, and all of a sudden,
a calm came over me, and it was like, I'm
gonna show her. It was that. And then when I
did so well in class and I couldn't be denied,
(34:24):
she had to change. And plus I told on her.
I went to the principal of the school and I
taught I said what she did. And so it's kind
of like, okay, that's so, but let's move on, cause
I gotta I gotta get good grades. I gotta do
well or else I'm back in the Catholic school and
I have to do this and I have to do
(34:45):
that or this is going to hopping. And then it's like,
so I didn't get to go home on the weekend
to see my father and my aunt. Okay, so what
what are we going to do? And then like lydio,
what are we gonna do? Because we were stuck a
lot by ourselves? So what are we going to do? Well,
it's like it was rejection being pushed out constantly in
my childhood and it was like, what are you going
(35:07):
to do about it? We used to see the kids
who would just get consumed by it, and it's sad
because I mean, you know, not everybody's that strong, and
it's not their fault, you know what I mean, it's
the adult's fault and the circumstances that they were in.
But it was also kind of like, well, what are
we going to do with the rest of the day.
Let's just keep it moving.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
That's pretty remarkable, which explains a lot about you because
when I was reading and knew this from before, but
you love boxing, and I always thought, wow, that's interesting.
Rosie likes boxing. She used to go to the matches.
She likes to watch people box, and you like doing it,
not competing but doing it. But it all makes sense.
Boxing is your life. It's like you get smacked down,
you're flat on your back and you pop up. I mean,
(35:51):
has that been kind of the theme?
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Oh? Yes, one hundred present. That's why I loved it.
That's why I loved it. It's like when I saw
Ali get knocked down by Fraser and everybody was shocked
and he rolls like Lazareuth. Everybody's like what you know?
And I remembered that as a young girl, Like I mean,
it just made me. There's like you know, the television,
(36:15):
you know, And and that's that's why I love boxing.
Because also it takes discipline and dedication and hard work
to step in the ring. Not everybody gets to step
in the ring. Not everybody gets a shot at being champion,
you know. And even when you become champ, you got
to sustain, you know what I mean. And that's also
another thing about Hollywood. It's like a lot I see
(36:37):
a lot of people, you know, Hollywood is like these
you know, your career goes up, it goes down, and
this and this and that. And one thing that I
got from fighters, professional fighters, you can't let anyone see
you sweat you just got to keep going, you know,
until the next bout. Okay, you took l on this one,
all right, start training for the next one. And you
just have to That's what I mean. It's just like rejection.
(37:00):
There's a pot of life. It sucks. I'll get down
for maybe. Well my manager targ goes, you're weird, and like,
what do you meaning? Goes, You're my only client. You go, oh,
that sucks. I'm so sad. Yeah, and then he goes
and then you call me the next thing and go, hey,
did you see this on TV? Well? What else am
(37:20):
I supposed to do?
Speaker 1 (37:22):
So that's the secret. If you're if people are listening
and going like I'm going through some really bad stuff,
is that really? It just getting up and clean slating
it kind.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
Of know what you have to take care of your
mental health. I have therapy, I have medication. I you know,
you can't do it alone. You know, I have a meditation.
You know, I have time by myself. I have you know,
on my on the phone with my sister Carmen every
single day. It takes work. It takes work to rise
(37:55):
above things. But once you get into kind of a
routine of things, then you know how it goes. And
also it was one day my aunt used to be very,
very depressed. She was clinically depressed. Funny, lively woman, but
speely depressed. And I remember and I said, THEO, what's wrong,
(38:16):
I Rosia, I'm so depressed. And I said, yeah, I'm
so sorry. She just I dies. But you know, Tomorrow's
another fucking day. And that's my motto. That's my mom,
that's it, that's it. And Helen Thomas when I saw her,
except her matrix. She was talking about she went to
(38:39):
France to cover Jackie Kennedy and she was so nervous
and she was doing all this prep and she she
bunks with this like older French journalist woman. And the
woman goes, you need a relax you're over prepared, and
she said, this is a chance of a lifetime.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Just celebrate the moment.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Go downstairs into my wine cellar and bring me a
bottle of wine and let's just uncork it. And she said, okay.
Helen Thomas says. She goes downstairs and she goes, oh
my god, there's so many expensive bottles. She picks out
the cheapest one. She goes back upstairs and the journalist
tolds her Helen, life's too short to drink the house wine.
Go downstairs and get the good stuff.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
I love it. I love it. So that's it, that's
your's that's how you that's how you navigate.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
I mean, you could get down, you could get depressed.
I'm not like Superwoman, you know. I have my moments.
I have my dog days and everything like that. But
it's like, it's like the alternative is what I've seen it.
I lived it. I've watched it with all these children
that had such an unfortunate life as I as did I,
(39:52):
but they didn't have it not they didn't have a dad,
you know, they didn't have anyone telling them they're special,
you know what I mean. So I could see how
darkness can come and take you. And I know that.
I know that, and I want to keep darkness at
bay as much as possible, you know, because some days
(40:13):
is not easy, Orta, some days are not easy, you know.
And so what do I do? I text my therapist.
I got her out of retirement. You told me she
was retired.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
I go, you care, I need you, I need you.
So on a dark day, tell me what you would
do if someone's listening and thinking, I want to get
out of this funk that I'm in. What do you
do well?
Speaker 2 (40:33):
Everybody's diagnosis is different. I have dystymia, which is a
low grade chronic depression. It never goes away. I have
PTSD and I have high anxiety. So what I have
learned is cognitive therapy, which is one you have to
(40:53):
train yourself to recognize I'm depressed.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Okay, So if.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
You can't get out of better, you're slow to get
out of bed, or if you're slow to get your coffee,
or you feel blah for no reason, or you feel
a sadness for no reason, those are the signs you know.
You're like, okay, click, these are the signs you know
what you have to do. So what do I have
to do is I have to go and tell myself
you're depressed. And I go outside in the backyard and
(41:20):
I have to have light. It's light therapy. Ye have
the light therapy, and I'm like, and then I have
to go upstairs and I get on the elliptical and
I start moving exercise and exercise to pumpy and doorphins,
and sometimes it still doesn't work. And so that's when
I call my sister Calmon, and I talk it out
with her, or I tell my husband, or I text
(41:43):
my therapist I need an emergency session, you know. Or
sometimes she goes, you're fine, do this, do that, and
we'll talk tomorrow. It's all those things. You have to be.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Proactic, don't ignore it and shove it under and think
you'll go through the day. Yeah, did you after your upbringing?
I mean, I happen to have been at a Broadway
show called Every Brilliant Thing and saw your daughter in law.
I know she's so sweet, But then I was just
thinking about you because you're a grandma, right grandma, So
I was thinking about you just as a mom, just
(42:15):
wanting did you given your upbringing? I think other people
might have chosen not to go down the road of
having children, and I've heard that multiple times. Not after
what I went through. I'm not doing that. What made
you want to become a mom?
Speaker 2 (42:30):
I don't know, no one, I don't know. I don't know.
But it was the hardest job I ever had and
the most rewarding job I ever had. It was very,
very difficult. You deal with a lot of guilt because
of your career. You know what I mean? You wonder
(42:52):
if you're being selfish, wondering if you did enough, did
you do things right?
Speaker 1 (42:57):
You know?
Speaker 2 (42:58):
But then the laughter and the joy sitting on the
couch under the blanket watching TCM, you know, film the War.
You know, Uh, this is Burt Lancaster. He's a hunk
of Uncle burn in love. But Barbara Stamach, Oh my god,
you know. And then you know, just moments like that.
And then like even with my grandson, you know, teaching
(43:19):
him how to break dance at the age of three.
He's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Does he really know? Does crazy?
Speaker 2 (43:27):
But we don't tell him that, you know. But all
I have to do is go diggy dickie boy boy
and he goes, you know, and he got the moves
and stuff, but he does the face, you know. And
I I was telling Kallye Quoco when I did Flight Attendant,
that's another game changer in my career. Quoo for her
(43:50):
to offer me that role and I said no, and
she goes, I'm on a plane and she met with
me and she says, you have to say yes. And
it was what my career needed at that time. And
I'm very grateful to her.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
I really am so many Guardian angels I do that
are just they see you?
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Yeah? And I told it that when we were in
second season on the cliffs in Iceland, and I just
started crying. I said, thank you, Kayleye, thank you.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
By the way, you almost didn't take that job because
you hate flying, that's right, And I just wanted to
bring us back to White Lotus, which is where we started. Okay,
First of all, when I heard you were in White Lotus,
I was like, perfect, And then I said, where are
they shooting? And there's Rosie getting on a plane. So
you do not like to fly, and that can sometimes
be a deal breaker for you, yep, But yet it
(44:40):
was not for White Lotus. What made you say yes?
Speaker 2 (44:43):
I almost said no to that too. It's that it's
when Mike White called me and it's a small role.
I said, there's nothing here, and Mike, yeah, what am
I doing this for? He goes, well, first for I
didn't know that I was going to get you, and
he says, and second of all, I love you, I imitate you.
(45:03):
I didn't applaud. He said, go, this is weird. Mike,
all right, you're being weird and he's laughing. I go,
I'm fucking serious. Mike stop laughing. And he's just laughing,
and I said no, because, like, look at it this line.
He goes, don't tell me what to write. I got you.
I got you. Yes, I can't give you more scenes,
but I'm gonna give you a scene. Please trust me.
(45:26):
Don't say yes now, well, please trust me.
Speaker 1 (45:29):
And I went, ah, okay.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
I said, but but he goes, I always wanted you
to be a white lotus. I go, well, why didn't
you guess me before? And he just couldn't stop laughing.
And I was like, this man is crazy, and I
go and I love him.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
I loved him, and that's why you did it.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
And that's why didn't I believed him. I believed him.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
I mean, I'm so fascinated. Your career is like you
always are good to just keeps happening to you. It's
like when they said your name with white lotus, I thought,
of course, But when I think of you and do
the right thing in all the iteration sense, why do
you think it all keeps coming? Why do roles keep coming?
(46:13):
Most people are starving for roles. I feel like you're
getting them and thinking about rejecting them.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
I don't reject everything. And I don't get everything. So
I just want people to know that, especially like actors
who are struggling, and it's not an easy job. It
isn't and you do have to deal with a lot
of rejection. And I hate when other actors act like,
you know, I like get out for it's oh, shut up.
(46:39):
You know, you know, it's just like shut up because
this is hot.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
You know.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
There's only less than one percent that it's easy for,
you know, so ninety nine point five percent of us
it's a job. And I look at it that half
of my job. I tell my door in law, I said,
I'm working to get work right now.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
She's what does that mean?
Speaker 2 (47:04):
And I said, I get up. I call my manager,
talk what's on the agenda? What's out there? Anytime he
says read this, I don't wait. I can't believe actors
wait like I'll get to it next week. Next week,
I'm reading It's morraml. I'm reading it today.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
You know.
Speaker 2 (47:20):
I exercise and try not to become like a blimped whale,
which I can because my family's full of fat cells,
like in large bat cells. I have so much sympathy God,
bless Manjaro and ozembic. It's a god send for people.
People don't understand when you're born in large fat cells.
Speaker 1 (47:38):
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (47:39):
It's hard. I have a spank on right now. That's
killing me, you know, And but I digress. But you know,
I it's it's it's work, it's it does. It's not
like I'm like Keenan said, some actors are like they
think it's like they open the door and go job job. No,
it takes, it takes.
Speaker 1 (47:57):
But I like that you have even on your non
working days, you're working. You're working, you're talking your manager,
you're exercising, You're putting yourself where you want to be.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
I'm coming up with ideas I'm making like like, oh
so and someone wants to speak to you, let's set
it up. Good. God bless America for a zooms because
I couldn't stand like going out and doing the hair
so like I look good from here. That's all I
have to worry about.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
By the way, that's such a smart thing to do.
If anyone's like in between jobs, but work like you're
working right up. Start your day, have your breakfast, do
your exercise, start looking at whatever at whatever's out there,
and then make efforts like you're doing it. It's funny
because Maria Shriver and I were at a retreat and
I was interviewing her and a lady raised her hand
(48:42):
and I remember it because she raised her hand and
she said, Maria, I am lost. My kids are I'm
an empty nester. My husband and I don't have You know,
we're not really connecting. I'm lost. I'm lost. I'm lost.
We were at this retreat. She goes, can you help me?
Maria said, well, I don't. I don't know you, so
I can't give you advice, but I will give you.
(49:03):
I'll give you a tiny bit of advice. And she said,
words matter. She said, you're not lost, You're here. You're
not lost. You're seeking. You're not out of work. You're seeking,
you're not unemployed. You are in search of on or
in search of So I was thinking, like, when you
are in a position where you don't have work, what
(49:24):
you're doing, you're you're just you just put into words
exactly what she was saying, which is, I'm a seeker
right now, I'm seeking work. Are you out of work now?
I'm seeking work? I'm not out of work. Yeah, I'm
going to get it.
Speaker 2 (49:35):
Yeah. And also I do charity, charitable work that takes
up a lot of my time, you know, so I'm
not just sitting and moping and wondering why things aren't happening.
I do a lot of voice over work, which is so.
Speaker 1 (49:48):
Much more fun and enjoy you know.
Speaker 2 (49:54):
That's that's that's been such a blessing. You know, it's
that's you just have to keep moving forward forward, You
have to keep moving forward.
Speaker 1 (50:04):
Lastly, as we wrap up, sadly, I'm so bummed. I
don't I could do this conversation all day. But what
in this season of life brings you joy?
Speaker 2 (50:14):
Like?
Speaker 1 (50:14):
What what lights you up? What turns you on these days?
Speaker 2 (50:19):
That's easy. My grandson, my grandson FaceTime, you know. And
I primed him to get used to FaceTime because I
was always on location. So I made up a song
and it went, it's Abuela in the phone. It's Abuela
in the phone, and she's gonna rush your home to
see that Glen, And so he got so used to it.
(50:42):
Tara says, you're the only one that he goes I
want to FaceTime.
Speaker 1 (50:46):
Boiler because he knows the song's coming.
Speaker 2 (50:49):
And four years old, and we FaceTime every day.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
Every day, Rosie he brings joy. I love you, Thank
you for coming on my podcast, Thank you for having me. Okay,
I'm just saying, wow. That interview with Rosie Perez was
everything to me. I mean when I look at her
and I think of what she endured in her life
and her superpower, Like, I think something we can all
(51:15):
take from this. Her superpower is when she gets knocked
down flat, if she gets rejected, if she gets if
something bad happens to her, she pops back up. But
it's not like she's not like, oh I swallowed a
happy pill and I'm up and yay. She doesn't do that.
She puts in the work, which I think is so important.
It's like she takes time, she does her meditation, she
(51:38):
does all kinds of things. She doesn't expect it to
be in her DNA, but which is such a great
thing for all of us. So if you don't wake
up happy all the time, are joyful all the time,
it's okay. There is a way to get there. And
I think what Rosie does is she shows us that
path and listening to her childhood and what she endured
(51:59):
and what she had to live through, the rejection and
all that pain, and to be sitting here opposite me
talking about what a beautiful life she has. She's chosen it,
she's chosen joy, and she's just someone who does all that.
My God, I'm gonna practice all of Rosy's things after Okay,
you know I love a poem. How about this one?
(52:20):
This is a poem by Roquel Franco. It's called You
Are Alive. It's almost summer and the swings are empty.
They're braided chains creaking, waiting for Joy to come and
sit with them. You are alive, and yes there's always
something to be sad about, but Joy's always wanting. We
are creatures with mighty lungs that love to lick the air.
(52:42):
You are alive, and you could be one green light,
one good cry, or a stack of pancakes away from
bumping into her. Roquel Franco. I hope Rosie's words stay
with you like they're going to stay with me.
O guy. So I've been thinking a lot about sports, okay,
because I feel like I've been talking to so many
different people, and these athletes have become sort of their
pin up person, the person who they looked to for inspiration.
So I spoke to Mrisha Hargate a couple of days
ago when she talked to me about Jalen Brunson, who
(00:32):
is a star player for the NIXT and she said
one of the things she loved about him was that
no matter how great things got or how crummy things got,
Jalen was in it for the work. He was in
it for the work. It didn't matter how high things
went or how low. And she admired that because he
has a love of the work. So I started thinking
about other athletes who have something similar to that, and
(00:54):
they're everywhere, people who are in it for the sheer
love of it. Forget about if you get an award
for yet about whatever the thing is, it's just that
do you love what you are doing? And I actually
started thinking about my own mom. So this is so crazy.
So when I was growing up, my mom always went running. Okay,
every morning, she'd lace up her shoes. Who wants to
(01:15):
come no no, nobody wanted to go. She would run,
she would run, she would run. When she turned sixty,
she decided that she was going to run her first marathon. Okay,
my brother and sister and I were like, oh my god,
wait what. My mom was running the Marine Corps Marathon.
So she loved run it. She just loved it. She
didn't care what place, she didn't care anything. So the
three of us, my brother, sister, and I went to
(01:37):
watch her run the Marine Corps Marathon. It was burning hot,
it was a November day in DC, and she was sweating.
At mile six, she was like drenched. My sister goes,
my god, Mom is dying. Like someone has to get in.
Someone's got to get in. My sister had on sandals
and my brother had on loafers, and I had sneakers on.
So I was the one who was elected to jump
in the race with my mom. So I get in
(01:58):
at mile six and start running with her. Were running,
We're talking, She's delirious. We're at mile twelve, we're at
mile fifteen. You know, I'm like, you know, I'm in
pants or whatever. It was like one of those weird
running experiences, but it was so great. But there's the
thing in the Marine Corps Marathon that if you don't
get to a certain point by mile twenty three, they
open the roads up, right, so everybody gets to go,
(02:21):
all the cars get to come through. And I'm looking
at my watch and I know we're close to the time,
and I see a policeman in front of us, and
we're at mile twenty three or twenty four of a
twenty six point two mile race. We're near the end.
We get there and the guy blows his whistland says,
get on the bus because there's a bus right there.
And I see faces of people on the bus at
mile twenty four of twenty six, right, So I go, Mom,
(02:45):
get it, I go, just follow me, follow me. We're
like such rebels. So I start running past the police officer.
My mom's following me and giggling. It's all all the
highways open to traffic, so cars are literally licking the
side of us as we're running. She squealed with delight.
It was amazing. We get to the bottom of the
EWO Gema Memorial and I just dead stop and I
(03:06):
watch her. I have a towel in my hand and
I'm swinging it around and I watch her run up
that hill and my brother and sister on the top
of the hill, and I see my brother, my sister's
crying and my brother's crying although he claimed he was
hungry whatever. Anyway, she finishes the race, and I'll never
forget it as long as I live. It's like, if
(03:26):
she can do that, I can do this. She's in
it for the work, the love of it, and the accomplishment,
which brings me to the guests we're about to have on. Okay,
so my guest is not an athlete, but she loves boxing. Okay,
she loves to box. Boxing is a metaphor for her life.
(03:49):
It is when you fall down, you get up. When
you fall down, you get up. I'm talking about Rosie Perez.
You may know her as an Oscar and Emmy nominated actress,
so much more than that, you guys. She is the
definition of resilience and joy. She is someone who has
overcome what I believe to be imaginable things in her
(04:11):
youth and she emerged as this incredible, blossoming flower. And
I think after you listen to this conversation with Rosie,
you will say, if she can do that, all the
things she's been through, then I can do this. So
I hope you enjoy this conversation. I'm just going to
(04:33):
say this to you. When I started this podcast, they
said who do you want? And I thought of you
immediately because a you and I have this weird connection
which I have felt since the first time I met you,
And secondly, because I think you're one of the most
fascinating people I've ever met. So I just want to
(04:53):
point out for people listening, Rosie rolled up by herself.
You didn't have like fifteen people. You came in, You
look glamorous. Were you inn a fender bender or something?
On the way? What happened?
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I ordered an Uber yeah, and the uber driver got
an accident, and and I.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Was like, oh my gosh, I gotta go. Are you okay?
He goes, no, I'm not okay.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Look at my car and I go, oh, I'm so sorry.
By the way, I'm fine, And then I just I
just hurried up back home because it was just a
block away. I ordered another one and got in, and I.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Mean, this is, by the way, I just want to say,
this is very emblematic or symbolic of how you live
your life. Something happens You're like, okay, fine, next, like
you don't let someone else would have walked in here
and said, oh my god, you're not You didn't even
bring it up. I only knew because you said I'll
be a couple of minutes late. I happened to have
gotten into an accident. But that's kind of how you
navigate life.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Yeah, yeah, I mean my earlier life was just so
chaotic and stressful that when I get stressed now, I
just have like a reality check and like, girl, things
are not that bad. You know you know what bad? Yes,
you know? And so I just kind of have always
(06:15):
been an optimistic person. I've always been the person who
saw the glass half full, not half empty. I always
felt like better things are to come. Used to drive
people crazy when I was younger. It would irritate them.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Why because they wanted you to feel the pain of life.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
They wanted me to feel the pain of life. And
then there were others that well, one of the girls
that I grew up with, Lydia I we're still friends
to this day. We've known each other since we were
four years old. And she said, I remember the day
when someone said you think you're special? And I was
(06:54):
nine years old, and I said, no, I know him special,
and so are you. Why don't you know it a
nine years old and nine years old?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Okay, And it's just who I want. So I want
to let's go there because I just want art listeners
to know about you. So people meet you now you
are real. You're an oscar An Emmy nominated actress. People
know you from a million different types of movies. But
if someone had met you Rosie at five years old,
(07:27):
what child would they have met? Picture yourself at five?
Where you were?
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I was in a convent and in being raised by nuns.
Some of them were very sadistic, others were great. With
all children that I wasn't related to related to, There
was a few that I was, but I didn't know
I was related to them. And I was a kid
that was always singing, always dancing, and always laughing and
(07:58):
had a bad temper.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
They are all your things. So you said you were
in this convent or children who were unwanted or orphans,
but you weren't an orphan. You had a mom and
a dad, So how did you wind up there?
Speaker 2 (08:15):
My mother and father had an affair. I'm a product
of a scandalous scandalous, you know, explain a lot an affair.
And back in those days, you know, if you had
the child, you know, because my family was Catholic, you
would put them in a convent. But there was no
(08:35):
reason for me to be placed there because my mother
gave me away when I was a week ago to
my father's sister, so I thought she was my mother,
and she came back four years later only to rip
me out of my aunt's arms and send me to
this Catholic home for unwanted, displaced or orphan children.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Wow, so you were raised by a woman you thought
was your mom. It was your aunt, yes, and then
your mom one day just got a wild hair and
came in and got you. Yeah, so weird, right.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
It is weird. She suffered from paranoid schizophrenic. She was
a paranoid schizophrenic. I still don't understand it to this day,
and I've learned to just let it go because it
used to drive me crazy, you know. And so, you know,
and being in a place where you're not related to anybody,
(09:32):
you start to really understand human nature on a certain level.
I can come in a room and I can assess
everybody's personality, but I keep it quiet myself, because that
was how I learned how to survive. So I could
tell who were the bad kids, who were the nice kids,
who were the manipulative kids, who were the kids who
wanted to be in cliques, who were the leaders, who
were their jealous ones. You just learned that very very quickly.
(09:56):
And I just gravitated to the silly nerds, you know,
and since I always loved old movies and I would
watch them with my aunt and everything, and you know,
I would just always be dancing and singing all the time.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
You had that sunny personality and that you're this bright light.
Yet when I think about the way that you were
raised there at this convent for kids who weren't wanted, well,
how did you endure? Like how bad did it get there?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
It got really bad if you can think of the darkest,
It was really bad. There were children who were being
beaten on a daily. I was beaten a lot because
this one nun I don't want to say her real name.
I call her sister Ranada, but that's not her real name.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
You know.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
She always would say I'm gonna beat that spirit out
of you, and then I would just go, no, you
won't and then smack smack, smack, it's still there. Smack
smack smack. It was like that. And then there were
kids that were molested by priests and by nuns and
by counselors. There were kids that were heavily medicated. You
(11:20):
had to go see a therapist once a week on
the grounds. He would, you know, sit there and smoke
a pipe in front of a kid. It was weird
back then, and just ask you the same questions over
and over, and you were terrified. You were terrified because
(11:40):
if you answered incorrectly, or if you behave misbehave too much,
you know that you were going to be placed on
medication and that those kids would come back like zombies.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Yeah, how did you endure? I mean, you're a kid.
I mean I was thinking about my own kids. I
have a seven year old and a nine year old,
so I think, how does I can't imagine them surviving
in this kind of environment. How did you?
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Through the grace of God and through the love of
my aunt and my father who I later found out
was my father thought he was my uncle, and through
some of the counselors that worked there, and I had
(12:29):
a volunteer which they call a big sister now miss Claudia.
She would take me. She was actually the kindergarten teacher
and she would take me on the weekends if my
mother would prevent my aunt or my father allowing me
to go home on the weekends. There was Sister Anne,
(12:49):
I could say her name. She was so lovely and
sweet and young. And there was Sister Margaret Francis that
changed my life. She was one. She's the one that
in a positive way, she never hit me, she never
berated me. But she was also very stern in a
(13:12):
very very firm but loving way. And she was always
the person that's saying, you need to think about your
future and I'm going nine and she would crack up.
And I remember she was the first person to call
me a pip. She said, Rose, you're a pip And
(13:34):
I went, oh, is that pip whip possess? There she goes,
you know, so that's who I was, you know so uh.
And she was the one that she left the order,
She left the convent, which was scandalous. Uh. And she
came back a couple of weeks later after she left,
and she was sitting at the dining room table and
(13:55):
she grabbed my arm and she said, get out of
here anyway you can. Your ticket out is your brain.
Put your head down, study hard, and get out because
you can make it. But you have to do it.
You have to do it. Promise me you're going to
do it. And she was squeezing my hand, my arm
so hard, and I went, I promise you, and there
(14:16):
was tears coming down her eyes. I've never seen System
Markrap Francis ever cry and and she was just like,
promise me and I I promise. I promised. She said, okay,
got up and left. I never saw again I ever.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
So she changed the course of your life there.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
She changed the course of my life.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Boy, one person can do that.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
One person. But it's if you think about it. It
also was a village, yes you know what I mean
it was. It was a village. And people can change
a young person's life. People. You know, that's what I
always tell people. Give back, give back because you don't know,
you don't know who you're gonna have fet Yeah, you know,
So this is what you do every time I tell
(14:59):
you what st a crying And I know you're pulling
it back. You're really good at pulling it back. But
I could see it.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Yeah, well, I think it's beautiful because I mean when
I look at you right now sitting here, I actually
picture the little kid and the idea that through all
of that. Here you sit here, you sit cast in
white lotus. Here you sit in all these movies. Here
you sit with Oscar and Emmy nominations. Here you sit
(15:26):
with people on the street going Rosie. You know, from
that little kid to this. So you wanted to be
you were in some kind of what biochemistry? What was it?
What was your major's bio chemistry? What did you want
to do?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I wanted to be the female Jack Gusteau, which wasn't
really small because I didn't like to get into the ocean.
I was afraid of the ocean, Okay. And I didn't
like to get in water because I didn't like to
get my hair wet.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Girl. Okay, I just want to say, I feel seen.
I feel incredible. If it starts raining, you think there's
incoming fire, I am like running weather sensitive air, Okay, continue, Yes.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
But I was fascinated, and it was because talking about
half glass. Yeah, half full is because I almost drowned
in Seaside Heights, New Jersey in a riptide, and I
kept having these nightmass about all these sea creatures pulling
me down. And I loved the show Jack Gusteau, and
(16:25):
so I was like, I'm going to be I'm going
to be that. I'm going to conker these.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
It's so funny. The thing you're the most terrified of,
that's what you keep jumping into. Like, okay, so you
were doing that for a while, but you are also
gifted in so many ways. You love to dance, So
dancing took up a big chunk of your life when
you weren't studying, right, yes, tell me about that.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
I used to go to the nightclubs religiously. I would
go to the night clubs maybe five six times a week.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
And the only.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Reason why I could sustain that and still go to
school and have a job job was because I was
straight edged. I didn't smoke, I didn't drink. I didn't
do anything until I met my best friend Pae Julie,
and uh so it was just like, you know, I
was just I was free, you know what I mean.
I was on my own. I was free. I was
(17:17):
I was going to uh create my path, and I
just wanted to enjoy life every single moment that I
was awake. I wanted to enjoy life, even if I
wasn't doing anything. That had to be quality time of
I love being bored, and I have to have quality boredom.
That quality bottom is when you sit on the couch
(17:40):
and you turn on TCM, you know what I mean,
and you have your favorite cup of tea there, you know,
or maybe a nice glass of white Sancia, you know,
or some other coutroons, and you know, and you don't
answer the phone, you don't do anything. It's just that, Okay,
it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
You're discipline because you are where you are because you
just said, I didn't know you had jobs and dancing
and work. How did wake? What was a normal day
when you were that age? And you do all the things.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
When I was going to college, get up at the
crack of dorn, go to one community college, take the
bus all the way Acrosstown in LA, go to another
community college, then take the bus back Acrosstown and go
work at Sizzler's. Which I hated was that the steakhouse. Yes,
(18:33):
Sizzla Steakhouse. And it was good because then like while
you know someone, when someone ordered like the endless bucket
of shrimp. I was like, yes, because I would, you know,
just because I was starving. And then after that job,
I would go and work at Golden Bird Fried Chicken
(18:53):
at the office. And then after that job, I would
work at a record store doing inventory on La Brea Avenue,
and then I would.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Go home, and you were you did your homework in between.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I did my homework in between. I would do my
homework before I went to bed, and then I would
be finished because I was very, very disciplined. And then
it was like time to go.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
To the clubs and you would dance in the night.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I would dance. I would always be at the clubs early,
like at nine o'clock when it was ladies nights, so
I could get in for free. And then I would
leave the club at eleven. Everybody's like, where are you going?
So I gotta go to bed.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Yeah, oh my god. Okay, So you wound up on
Soul Train, which was like put you kind of in
the national spotlight, although you didn't get paid. You were
just dancing. What did you like about Soul Train.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Dancing?
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Yeah? What did it give you?
Speaker 2 (19:44):
What's the feeling that I couldn't believe that I was
on television and that Don Cornelius was right in front
of me, you know, and it was just fun. And
then you're seeing like your favorite recording artists.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
So did they find how did you even get that gig?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
I was working. No, I was dancing with my girls,
with my college buddies at Florentine Gardens. I don't know
if it was Hollywood a sunset on Ladies' Night and
the talent scout from SoulTrain was at the club and
he said, I want you to be on soult Train
(20:21):
and I went what And I can't believe it? And
I said, can my girlfriend's come and goes do they
look like you? I said better? And I told my
girls to come on over and they did and we
all got invited down.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Wow, and that was that ended up being like a
career changer. So you're dancing on SoulTrain, people are noticing you,
but your dad isn't such a fan.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
No no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
What happened?
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Oh? Man? I thought, like, because back then Puerto Rico
didn't get all the American channels, So I'm thinking he'll
never going to see this. He's never going to see this.
Because every time I would go back to Puerto Rico.
I had, like, you know, the dresses with the collar
up to him and this leave down here and you know,
and you know the good you know, little Catholic girl
and you know this young puppy you know like that,
(21:08):
and then cut to you know, and and he was
they said, he was more about he was so for me.
And he goes, I go, hi, daddy, how are you.
I saw you where in the Soul Trained TV? And
I went oh, and he goes, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Quit. I quit. You really respected your dad? Huh oh yeah, yeah. Yeah.
By the way, did was your mom still around? And she's, yeah,
do you have any contact?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
My father made me. My father made me have contact
with her, and I resented it, and you know, in hindsight,
I'm glad he did. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
He forced you.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
He forced me.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
So you. I mean, look, you're a great dancer, but
you were made for movies and TV and stuff. And
Spike Lee was the one who found you, which I
first of all, I'm just so excited watching Spike on
the sidelines of the next Are you freaking out? By
the way about the next? Really quick? Okay, So Spike
sees you and cast you.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
But how well Hampy was is that I was leaving
California because I didn't like it. So I was going
to transfer to Stony Brooks out in Long Island. And
it was my last night in LA and one of
the people from Soldier said, they're they're having this party
(22:44):
and they're asking some of the soldiering dancers to come down,
so it looks like it's a party. Will you come?
I go nah, And my girlfriend Mary Wade goes, let's go.
She was never on Soldier. She's my college buddy, and
she was transferring to Howard and we were going to
fly to DC and then drive up to New York.
So we went. They're having a butt contest because he
(23:06):
was promoting school Days and the record that was the
hit for the movie was doing the butt and so
these girls were like bending over and everything, and I said,
is this what you want? And I got up on
a on a riser on a m speaker and I.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Said, this is what you want. Don't let this is what.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Y'all look like. Spike Lee comes over with two bodyguards
and I go, oh, I'm scared, and he goes, get down,
get down, And I got down and I am trembling.
He can see I'm trembling that I'm scared. But I
fronted and I went what and he goes he starts laughing.
(23:48):
He goes, where are you from? And I said Brooklyn
and he goes he starts laughing again. I said, what
the that's so funny and he goes, oh my god,
this is fate tonight. It's fate. It's fate, and he
starts laughing. So I was gonna go He goes, no, no, no, no,
no way, I'm telling you. I'm telling you this is fate.
Tonight is paye. You're an actress. I go, I'm not
(24:09):
an actress. I'm gonna buy Kim Major and he goes, no,
you're an actress. Tonight is fate. And I went, oh,
you wish and he starts laughing again. You're like totally
poking him and I'm not getting it. Yeah, And my
girlfriend Marian is like, roh, shut up. This is Spike Lee.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
I go, hoo, oh you didn't know who he was?
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Do you know who he was?
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Oh my gosh, I didn't know who he was.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
And then he told his produce a MOUNTI wars at
the time, give him my card and I looked at
the car and I'm thinking it's never gonna happen. Yeah,
And it just kept making him laugh and he followed
me out. He says, call me, Okay, you're gonna call me.
You're gonna call me. And I said, what is this
(24:53):
a scene from Saturday Night peeb Tony? You're gonna call
me Tony? You didn't call me? You know that scene
or when he's up on the bridge ready to.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Kill him something?
Speaker 2 (25:02):
You didn't call me? Tell me, right? And so Spike
just keeps laughing. I leave the club and I throw
the card into the garbage and it's one of those
ten round big things. Marion dove into that garbage and
took out. She goes, are you crazy?
Speaker 1 (25:20):
You can't let this one go there? And so you get?
You get? She called him?
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Did she called him the next morning?
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
He says, I don't want to talk to you. I
want to talk to the girl with the Puerto Rican accent.
Now in La no one could figure out what my accent.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
They were probably like, what is that right?
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Right? Yeah, he goes, he want to talk to the
girl with the Puerto Rican accent. And that got my interest.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
So you were like, I'm into this. So you get
cast and do the right thing. It's amazing. And then
this shocked me. So you are in this movie, it
gets lots of recognition. You don't get another part right away,
you don't. No one's signing you. Like what happened? I mean,
and this was a big deal.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Well everyone thought it was just a fluke, and it
was even a I remember a reporter said she's a fluke.
And I saw him years later when he interviewed me
for Fearless, and I said, do you remember.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
And by the way, we should point out Fearless is
where you got your OSCAR nomination. So so this this
guy came up again. Okay, So it's funny, by the way,
how we don't forget like an ouch that comes even
that early in our career. So it's like you can
see the headline, you can think about the person.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Yeah, that's my childhood trauma. Yeah, because that was like,
sister Ranata, you're never going to amount to anything. And
I said, yes, I am, you know. So it was
that and I decided to go back to college to finish,
and my aunt was so upset. She wanted me to
(26:59):
go back and get a job. Nobody. She goes, do
you can get a job? And I said, oh my god,
and then yeah. But when the premiere came out, I
sat in the theater and I sat there, couldn't move,
tears coming down my eyes, and my half sister goes,
(27:19):
is it the Newity? And I went no, it's the magic.
I said, this is what I want to do. Spike
Lee was right and that was it and nobody, no calls, no, nothing,
this and that. So I did my research and I
started asking, how do actors get jobs? You need an agent.
(27:41):
How do you get an agent? Well that's tricky, you know.
I was like, it's a catch twenty two and I
was like oh. And then one actor said, well, there's
this magazine called Backstage and it's a casting call. And
I went on it and I saw a casting for
this HBO movie starring Forrest Whittakutt and Anthony Lapogna and
(28:04):
Jennifer Gray, and I went out for it.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
I just went in, just cold. You just were's Rosie
knocking on the door at the casting call. What happened?
Speaker 2 (28:12):
I got the roll, I got the role, and then
Jennifer Gray goes, who's your agent? And there was this
woman at the time that was trying to rep me,
but she asked if I could get a nose job
and dye my hair blonde, and so I buy it.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Yeah, I'm trying to think that the number of people
who probably tried to change you, and you're so perfect
as you are, but they probably said, yeah, get rid
of the accent, get rid of it. Everyone wants to
change everybody, even in the news business. They're like, cut
your hair like this, talk like this, be like that,
stand like this, and you resisted all of that.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Yeah, I didn't know that about the news.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah they did. They did that early on. They would
tell you get the you have to have this look,
get the blazer, drop your voice three octaves, because you know,
everybody had to have this kind of thing that you
I had someone who went through my whole closet when
I started working at NBC. They're like no, no, no, no,
maybe no no no, and they took me right to
(29:10):
a hair salon and I got this cut that is
definitely yuck. But at the time they were like, you
got to get this. But it was everybody trying to
make you into something that fits there mold just like
for you. So knows job this blonde here, You're like bye.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
So then what Jennifer Gray. She said, come up to
my room. And we were on location in Pennsylvania, in Pittsburgh,
and I went up to a room and I thought
we were just going to hang out and I'm thinking, oh,
this is so cool because I liked her instantly, and
(29:48):
she said hang on a second. And she called her agent,
Jane Blina and Kevin Huvain and said you need to
sign this girl. And they said, who was it, Rosie Perez.
She was in do the right thing and they said,
signed right then and there over the phone. And so
it was Jennifer Gray. Once again, someone came in and
(30:10):
changed my life, you know. And that was see yeah, wow,
Jennifer Gray.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Shout out to Jennifer Gray. She just she just saw
it in you. It seems like Spike saw it in you.
Jennifer saw it in you. Did you see it in you?
Speaker 2 (30:27):
I did. I didn't like when he asked me to
be in the movie. I was so scared, you know.
And I had to audition for Robbie Reid and she said,
you're good, this is what you should be doing. And
I went really and she said yeah, and I said okay, well,
thank you, and I was walking out, I heard her
(30:49):
on the phone and she says, Spike castor done. And
so I didn't see it. I didn't see it. But
when I saw the premiere, I saw it. But I
also the person I am also saw the room for improvement.
I was like, oh, I could have did this differently. Yeah.
(31:11):
And it was because on the set of Do the
Right Thing, it was mister Danny Iello who told me
to come to set every day even when I wasn't working,
and to sit next to him on the days he
was working. And he goes, let me show you how
a ghost kid. And he says, first of all, you
got to calm down. And I was like, okay, And
(31:35):
he just was giving me tricks of the trade and stuff.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
He became a student, he seems like, you're you're a
perpetual student. Yes.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Yes, that's the one thing the convent did well. Yes, yes,
they were preparing as well as they could have in
their way, the kids for real life. And so it
wasn't just about book learning. It was also about life learning.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
You know.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
They taught us how to cook, they taught us how
to take care of our clothes. They taught us how
to do the laundry and this and clean and this
and this, not because a lot of the children aged out,
meaning once they got to eighteen years old, they had
to get out by law. And we would see that
a lot, and it was terrifying. It was terrifying the
(32:27):
pressure on it. But you just ended up. Every day
was a lessie.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Every day was a lesson. I mean, it's so interesting
because you know the rejection that comes in your industry,
in the acting industry, all the time, people don't like
what you're doing, how you're doing it, change theys, do this,
do that. But I was wondering if, because of the upbringing,
what you've been through, I'm sure rejection felt like a
(32:53):
nat on your shoulder. It's like, oh, they said, no, okay.
I mean, how did that prepare you? Because a lot
of people can't stomach the rejection of Hollywood. It's too
hard someone to your face saying you're not good enough,
you're not what we're looking for, You're not right. You know,
tell me how you was stood that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
I did that because, like some of the children in
the home, got to go to outside school. That only
meant public school, which was funny because most of the
public kids wanted to be in the Catholic school, but
it was a strategy on the Catholic Church's part to
integrate us into public life. And I remember this one
(33:36):
teacher who hit me in class, and I was so
tired of being hit, so I hit her back, and
she dragged me out of the classroom. This is first grade,
by my hair. And she told all the children she's
in that convent because she's a bad girl, and this
(33:59):
is the reason why. And nobody wants her, not even
her mother wanted her. I remember this. I remember this,
and I was crying, crying, and all of a sudden,
a calm came over me, and it was like, I'm
gonna show her. It was that. And then when I
did so well in class and I couldn't be denied,
(34:24):
she had to change. And plus I told on her.
I went to the principal of the school and I
taught I said what she did. And so it's kind
of like, okay, that's so, but let's move on, cause
I gotta I gotta get good grades. I gotta do
well or else I'm back in the Catholic school and
I have to do this and I have to do
(34:45):
that or this is going to hopping. And then it's like,
so I didn't get to go home on the weekend
to see my father and my aunt. Okay, so what
what are we going to do? And then like lydio,
what are we gonna do? Because we were stuck a
lot by ourselves? So what are we going to do? Well,
it's like it was rejection being pushed out constantly in
my childhood and it was like, what are you going
(35:07):
to do about it? We used to see the kids
who would just get consumed by it, and it's sad
because I mean, you know, not everybody's that strong, and
it's not their fault, you know what I mean, it's
the adult's fault and the circumstances that they were in.
But it was also kind of like, well, what are
we going to do with the rest of the day.
Let's just keep it moving.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
That's pretty remarkable, which explains a lot about you because
when I was reading and knew this from before, but
you love boxing, and I always thought, wow, that's interesting.
Rosie likes boxing. She used to go to the matches.
She likes to watch people box, and you like doing it,
not competing but doing it. But it all makes sense.
Boxing is your life. It's like you get smacked down,
you're flat on your back and you pop up. I mean,
(35:51):
has that been kind of the theme?
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Oh? Yes, one hundred present. That's why I loved it.
That's why I loved it. It's like when I saw
Ali get knocked down by Fraser and everybody was shocked
and he rolls like Lazareuth. Everybody's like what you know?
And I remembered that as a young girl, Like I mean,
it just made me. There's like you know, the television,
(36:15):
you know, And and that's that's why I love boxing.
Because also it takes discipline and dedication and hard work
to step in the ring. Not everybody gets to step
in the ring. Not everybody gets a shot at being champion,
you know. And even when you become champ, you got
to sustain, you know what I mean. And that's also
another thing about Hollywood. It's like a lot I see
(36:37):
a lot of people, you know, Hollywood is like these
you know, your career goes up, it goes down, and
this and this and that. And one thing that I
got from fighters, professional fighters, you can't let anyone see
you sweat you just got to keep going, you know,
until the next bout. Okay, you took l on this one,
all right, start training for the next one. And you
just have to That's what I mean. It's just like rejection.
(37:00):
There's a pot of life. It sucks. I'll get down
for maybe. Well my manager targ goes, you're weird, and like,
what do you meaning? Goes, You're my only client. You go, oh,
that sucks. I'm so sad. Yeah, and then he goes
and then you call me the next thing and go, hey,
did you see this on TV? Well? What else am
(37:20):
I supposed to do?
Speaker 1 (37:22):
So that's the secret. If you're if people are listening
and going like I'm going through some really bad stuff,
is that really? It just getting up and clean slating
it kind.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
Of know what you have to take care of your
mental health. I have therapy, I have medication. I you know,
you can't do it alone. You know, I have a meditation.
You know, I have time by myself. I have you know,
on my on the phone with my sister Carmen every
single day. It takes work. It takes work to rise
(37:55):
above things. But once you get into kind of a
routine of things, then you know how it goes. And
also it was one day my aunt used to be very,
very depressed. She was clinically depressed. Funny, lively woman, but
speely depressed. And I remember and I said, THEO, what's wrong,
(38:16):
I Rosia, I'm so depressed. And I said, yeah, I'm
so sorry. She just I dies. But you know, Tomorrow's
another fucking day. And that's my motto. That's my mom,
that's it, that's it. And Helen Thomas when I saw her,
except her matrix. She was talking about she went to
(38:39):
France to cover Jackie Kennedy and she was so nervous
and she was doing all this prep and she she
bunks with this like older French journalist woman. And the
woman goes, you need a relax you're over prepared, and
she said, this is a chance of a lifetime.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Just celebrate the moment.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Go downstairs into my wine cellar and bring me a
bottle of wine and let's just uncork it. And she said, okay.
Helen Thomas says. She goes downstairs and she goes, oh
my god, there's so many expensive bottles. She picks out
the cheapest one. She goes back upstairs and the journalist
tolds her Helen, life's too short to drink the house wine.
Go downstairs and get the good stuff.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
I love it. I love it. So that's it, that's
your's that's how you that's how you navigate.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
I mean, you could get down, you could get depressed.
I'm not like Superwoman, you know. I have my moments.
I have my dog days and everything like that. But
it's like, it's like the alternative is what I've seen it.
I lived it. I've watched it with all these children
that had such an unfortunate life as I as did I,
(39:52):
but they didn't have it not they didn't have a dad,
you know, they didn't have anyone telling them they're special,
you know what I mean. So I could see how
darkness can come and take you. And I know that.
I know that, and I want to keep darkness at
bay as much as possible, you know, because some days
(40:13):
is not easy, Orta, some days are not easy, you know.
And so what do I do? I text my therapist.
I got her out of retirement. You told me she
was retired.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
I go, you care, I need you, I need you.
So on a dark day, tell me what you would
do if someone's listening and thinking, I want to get
out of this funk that I'm in. What do you
do well?
Speaker 2 (40:33):
Everybody's diagnosis is different. I have dystymia, which is a
low grade chronic depression. It never goes away. I have
PTSD and I have high anxiety. So what I have
learned is cognitive therapy, which is one you have to
(40:53):
train yourself to recognize I'm depressed.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Okay, So if.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
You can't get out of better, you're slow to get
out of bed, or if you're slow to get your coffee,
or you feel blah for no reason, or you feel
a sadness for no reason, those are the signs you know.
You're like, okay, click, these are the signs you know
what you have to do. So what do I have
to do is I have to go and tell myself
you're depressed. And I go outside in the backyard and
(41:20):
I have to have light. It's light therapy. Ye have
the light therapy, and I'm like, and then I have
to go upstairs and I get on the elliptical and
I start moving exercise and exercise to pumpy and doorphins,
and sometimes it still doesn't work. And so that's when
I call my sister Calmon, and I talk it out
with her, or I tell my husband, or I text
(41:43):
my therapist I need an emergency session, you know. Or
sometimes she goes, you're fine, do this, do that, and
we'll talk tomorrow. It's all those things. You have to be.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Proactic, don't ignore it and shove it under and think
you'll go through the day. Yeah, did you after your upbringing?
I mean, I happen to have been at a Broadway
show called Every Brilliant Thing and saw your daughter in law.
I know she's so sweet, But then I was just
thinking about you because you're a grandma, right grandma, So
I was thinking about you just as a mom, just
(42:15):
wanting did you given your upbringing? I think other people
might have chosen not to go down the road of
having children, and I've heard that multiple times. Not after
what I went through. I'm not doing that. What made
you want to become a mom?
Speaker 2 (42:30):
I don't know, no one, I don't know. I don't know.
But it was the hardest job I ever had and
the most rewarding job I ever had. It was very,
very difficult. You deal with a lot of guilt because
of your career. You know what I mean? You wonder
(42:52):
if you're being selfish, wondering if you did enough, did
you do things right?
Speaker 1 (42:57):
You know?
Speaker 2 (42:58):
But then the laughter and the joy sitting on the
couch under the blanket watching TCM, you know, film the War.
You know, Uh, this is Burt Lancaster. He's a hunk
of Uncle burn in love. But Barbara Stamach, Oh my god,
you know. And then you know, just moments like that.
And then like even with my grandson, you know, teaching
(43:19):
him how to break dance at the age of three.
He's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Does he really know? Does crazy?
Speaker 2 (43:27):
But we don't tell him that, you know. But all
I have to do is go diggy dickie boy boy
and he goes, you know, and he got the moves
and stuff, but he does the face, you know. And
I I was telling Kallye Quoco when I did Flight Attendant,
that's another game changer in my career. Quoo for her
(43:50):
to offer me that role and I said no, and
she goes, I'm on a plane and she met with
me and she says, you have to say yes. And
it was what my career needed at that time. And
I'm very grateful to her.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
I really am so many Guardian angels I do that
are just they see you?
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Yeah? And I told it that when we were in
second season on the cliffs in Iceland, and I just
started crying. I said, thank you, Kayleye, thank you.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
By the way, you almost didn't take that job because
you hate flying, that's right, And I just wanted to
bring us back to White Lotus, which is where we started. Okay,
First of all, when I heard you were in White Lotus,
I was like, perfect, And then I said, where are
they shooting? And there's Rosie getting on a plane. So
you do not like to fly, and that can sometimes
be a deal breaker for you, yep, But yet it
(44:40):
was not for White Lotus. What made you say yes?
Speaker 2 (44:43):
I almost said no to that too. It's that it's
when Mike White called me and it's a small role.
I said, there's nothing here, and Mike, yeah, what am
I doing this for? He goes, well, first for I
didn't know that I was going to get you, and
he says, and second of all, I love you, I imitate you.
(45:03):
I didn't applaud. He said, go, this is weird. Mike,
all right, you're being weird and he's laughing. I go,
I'm fucking serious. Mike stop laughing. And he's just laughing,
and I said no, because, like, look at it this line.
He goes, don't tell me what to write. I got you.
I got you. Yes, I can't give you more scenes,
but I'm gonna give you a scene. Please trust me.
(45:26):
Don't say yes now, well, please trust me.
Speaker 1 (45:29):
And I went, ah, okay.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
I said, but but he goes, I always wanted you
to be a white lotus. I go, well, why didn't
you guess me before? And he just couldn't stop laughing.
And I was like, this man is crazy, and I
go and I love him.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
I loved him, and that's why you did it.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
And that's why didn't I believed him. I believed him.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
I mean, I'm so fascinated. Your career is like you
always are good to just keeps happening to you. It's
like when they said your name with white lotus, I thought,
of course, But when I think of you and do
the right thing in all the iteration sense, why do
you think it all keeps coming? Why do roles keep coming?
(46:13):
Most people are starving for roles. I feel like you're
getting them and thinking about rejecting them.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
I don't reject everything. And I don't get everything. So
I just want people to know that, especially like actors
who are struggling, and it's not an easy job. It
isn't and you do have to deal with a lot
of rejection. And I hate when other actors act like,
you know, I like get out for it's oh, shut up.
(46:39):
You know, you know, it's just like shut up because
this is hot.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
You know.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
There's only less than one percent that it's easy for,
you know, so ninety nine point five percent of us
it's a job. And I look at it that half
of my job. I tell my door in law, I said,
I'm working to get work right now.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
She's what does that mean?
Speaker 2 (47:04):
And I said, I get up. I call my manager,
talk what's on the agenda? What's out there? Anytime he
says read this, I don't wait. I can't believe actors
wait like I'll get to it next week. Next week,
I'm reading It's morraml. I'm reading it today.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
You know.
Speaker 2 (47:20):
I exercise and try not to become like a blimped whale,
which I can because my family's full of fat cells,
like in large bat cells. I have so much sympathy God,
bless Manjaro and ozembic. It's a god send for people.
People don't understand when you're born in large fat cells.
Speaker 1 (47:38):
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (47:39):
It's hard. I have a spank on right now. That's
killing me, you know, And but I digress. But you know,
I it's it's it's work, it's it does. It's not
like I'm like Keenan said, some actors are like they
think it's like they open the door and go job job. No,
it takes, it takes.
Speaker 1 (47:57):
But I like that you have even on your non
working days, you're working. You're working, you're talking your manager,
you're exercising, You're putting yourself where you want to be.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
I'm coming up with ideas I'm making like like, oh
so and someone wants to speak to you, let's set
it up. Good. God bless America for a zooms because
I couldn't stand like going out and doing the hair
so like I look good from here. That's all I
have to worry about.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
By the way, that's such a smart thing to do.
If anyone's like in between jobs, but work like you're
working right up. Start your day, have your breakfast, do
your exercise, start looking at whatever at whatever's out there,
and then make efforts like you're doing it. It's funny
because Maria Shriver and I were at a retreat and
I was interviewing her and a lady raised her hand
(48:42):
and I remember it because she raised her hand and
she said, Maria, I am lost. My kids are I'm
an empty nester. My husband and I don't have You know,
we're not really connecting. I'm lost. I'm lost. I'm lost.
We were at this retreat. She goes, can you help me?
Maria said, well, I don't. I don't know you, so
I can't give you advice, but I will give you.
(49:03):
I'll give you a tiny bit of advice. And she said,
words matter. She said, you're not lost, You're here. You're
not lost. You're seeking. You're not out of work. You're seeking,
you're not unemployed. You are in search of on or
in search of So I was thinking, like, when you
are in a position where you don't have work, what
(49:24):
you're doing, you're you're just you just put into words
exactly what she was saying, which is, I'm a seeker
right now, I'm seeking work. Are you out of work now?
I'm seeking work? I'm not out of work. Yeah, I'm
going to get it.
Speaker 2 (49:35):
Yeah. And also I do charity, charitable work that takes
up a lot of my time, you know, so I'm
not just sitting and moping and wondering why things aren't happening.
I do a lot of voice over work, which is so.
Speaker 1 (49:48):
Much more fun and enjoy you know.
Speaker 2 (49:54):
That's that's that's been such a blessing. You know, it's
that's you just have to keep moving forward forward, You
have to keep moving forward.
Speaker 1 (50:04):
Lastly, as we wrap up, sadly, I'm so bummed. I
don't I could do this conversation all day. But what
in this season of life brings you joy?
Speaker 2 (50:14):
Like?
Speaker 1 (50:14):
What what lights you up? What turns you on these days?
Speaker 2 (50:19):
That's easy. My grandson, my grandson FaceTime, you know. And
I primed him to get used to FaceTime because I
was always on location. So I made up a song
and it went, it's Abuela in the phone. It's Abuela
in the phone, and she's gonna rush your home to
see that Glen, And so he got so used to it.
(50:42):
Tara says, you're the only one that he goes I
want to FaceTime.
Speaker 1 (50:46):
Boiler because he knows the song's coming.
Speaker 2 (50:49):
And four years old, and we FaceTime every day.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
Every day, Rosie he brings joy. I love you, Thank
you for coming on my podcast, Thank you for having me. Okay,
I'm just saying, wow. That interview with Rosie Perez was
everything to me. I mean when I look at her
and I think of what she endured in her life
and her superpower, Like, I think something we can all
(51:15):
take from this. Her superpower is when she gets knocked
down flat, if she gets rejected, if she gets if
something bad happens to her, she pops back up. But
it's not like she's not like, oh I swallowed a
happy pill and I'm up and yay. She doesn't do that.
She puts in the work, which I think is so important.
It's like she takes time, she does her meditation, she
(51:38):
does all kinds of things. She doesn't expect it to
be in her DNA, but which is such a great
thing for all of us. So if you don't wake
up happy all the time, are joyful all the time,
it's okay. There is a way to get there. And
I think what Rosie does is she shows us that
path and listening to her childhood and what she endured
(51:59):
and what she had to live through, the rejection and
all that pain, and to be sitting here opposite me
talking about what a beautiful life she has. She's chosen it,
she's chosen joy, and she's just someone who does all that.
My God, I'm gonna practice all of Rosy's things after Okay,
you know I love a poem. How about this one?
(52:20):
This is a poem by Roquel Franco. It's called You
Are Alive. It's almost summer and the swings are empty.
They're braided chains creaking, waiting for Joy to come and
sit with them. You are alive, and yes there's always
something to be sad about, but Joy's always wanting. We
are creatures with mighty lungs that love to lick the air.
(52:42):
You are alive, and you could be one green light,
one good cry, or a stack of pancakes away from
bumping into her. Roquel Franco. I hope Rosie's words stay
with you like they're going to stay with me.
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