December 1, 2023 • 8 mins
Bethenny has a breakthrough on relationships after digging deep into Barstool Sports’ own David Portnoy’s polarizing behavior with his girlfriend.
You don’t have to be a sports fan or even a fan of marriage, all you have to do is have an opinion…and trust us after you hear what Bethenny has to say, you’ll have plenty!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
I have to give credit where credit is due. Dave
Portnoy did his podcast with Breonna chicken Fry and Josh.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Richards, and he talked about his breakup.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
He was extremely respectful to his ex girlfriend, which I appreciate.
It sounded completely authentic and genuine. His description of being
at that crossroads where a woman is young and likely
wants a certain path for her life, so she probably
wanted something.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
He couldn't give it to her.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
They made that decision, and I honor that conversation and
that he did not say anything negative or untoward about her.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
When then he.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Brought up the Rachel situation, and he was unapologetic, but
he did not bring up the negative comment that he
had made. He did not say the term because I
know that he knows that that was not the best
I know that he's not in the business of apologizing,
but I can tell that he seemed like it wasn't
something he necessarily needed to say. And then his co
(01:14):
host Brianna chicken Fry, she called Rachel a scumbag. So
that was like another random shot, ironically fired not by
him but by the woman in the room. So it's
interesting because Rachel is not defined by her actions, editing,
(01:39):
and the circumstances on vander Pump rules, so.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Food for thought.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
But I if I'm gonna say, if I'm gonna call
someone out for doing something, then I'm also gonna.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Give them credit when they He was softer.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
He was softer, he was respectful to his own ex
and he did not double down.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
And he's a double downer.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
He's a person who would come in and double down
on not only trashing Rachel, but he didn't trash me
because I didn't trash him either. There's a way to
have a public forum and discussion about something. He referenced
that I had texted him. I think he even shared
the text someone said, which is a code that I
(02:22):
don't break. I don't love that he shared my texts
because that's something that I don't break. But ultimately, he's
a person who goes for the jugular and he did
not go for my jugular, nor did I go for his.
Which illustrates that you can have a healthy debate on
a topic in twenty twenty three without going to the
(02:45):
mattresses and just trashing each other. That's such low hanging
fruit clickbait twenty twenty three fodder and I've posted about
this on TikTok twice for a very brief period because
I prefer to talk about matters like this here in
a longer format.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
And what happens is on TikTok, you.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Put it up and take it down, and then everybody
starts talking about that, and they come to this podcast
to listen to my opinion on the topic. This brings
(03:28):
me to the topic of relationships and integrity in communicating
to your partner expectations. And I think that Dave Portnoy
was in a relationship with a woman who's young and
beautiful for three years. He probably fell madly in love
(03:48):
with her. He's just bought his company back, and alluding
to the fact that it's a very very stressful time
and he gets immersed and caught up in business. He
probably we can't deal with a conversation about a life
partner or getting married and having kids, and he knows
(04:09):
somewhere in his gut that he's not going to go
the distance in that way with this relationship. And I
had him on my podcast and we might have taken
it out, but he said that he didn't want to
have kids or know if he wanted to have kids.
He didn't know if he wanted to get married again.
So Sylvana seems like a person who wanted to get married.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
And I'm sure in the beginning.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
He thought he might want that too, because everything's great
in the beginning when it's got the new car smell,
and then you get into life and reality, and some
people just can't deal and some people are not built
for long term relationships. And I do think it's true
that a person has to just say to the other person,
I don't think I can give you what you need.
(04:50):
It's like a business, it's like a partnership. This is
what I expect from the partnership. This is what I
need from you as a partner. And it's a two
way street. And she probably this is what I need,
this is what I want, and he probably said, this
is what I can give, and this is what I
want and don't want. So we don't align, we don't
(05:10):
meet up in this partnership. I can't give you the partnership.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
That you need.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
It's really important that in business and in relationships people
say what they want and need in the beginning, because
as you fall in love, you think you're willing to
compromise on many things. They could be having kids, they
could be religion, they could be where you want to live.
But once you've been with someone for a long time
and you're in the nitty gritty and you've had a
(05:38):
stuffy nose around them, and you've been grouchy or hungover
or in sweats or had your period around them, and
the new car smell is off, the new car smell
is gone, that's when you start to think about, wait
a second, do I really want to live here? Do
I really want to do this? Do I really want
(05:58):
to not have kids? Seemed fine in the beginning, but
now it doesn't seem as fine. People can change their
mind too, and you have to reconnect and reset. Howard
Stern got together with Beth Ostroski and told her point
blank from the very beginning he was never having more kids.
And she has gotten very into animals as her children.
(06:21):
And she has obviously accepted that and built a life
because she wanted her life partner and sacrificed that part
of it. I've heard other people doing the same thing,
that the life partner is more important than the kids.
So you have to make that decision for yourself. And
it sounds like Dave and Sivana did. The point is
you always have to be communicating your wants, your needs,
(06:43):
your expectations, and at different points in relationships they will
change and people will evolve or grow in different directions
or have circumstances that affect a relationship, a death, a bankruptcy,
something stressful in business, and then you reassess where you
(07:05):
are in your life and decide if you're on the
same page with your partner.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
It's very hard to do.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
And he said he was stealing her youth, which is
interesting because for many women they get into relationships and
he's a wealthy, older man and that was probably fun.
And he took her all over the world and he
bought her presents and cars, and she lived the life.
But does she want to do that for the next
thirty years without a child for herself, or a ring
(07:32):
on her finger, or the wedding that she wants or
the life that she dreamed of. There are sacrifices, and
at her age, you don't see it the same way
as someone my age sees it, where just being in
a partnership and having peace in your life is extremely valuable.
(07:53):
My daughter is my entire life. That's not something I
would ever have been able to sacrifice. I would never
have been able to choose the relationship for being a
parent to my daughter.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
So you have to make those choices.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
I once asked a bunch of people at my talk show,
would you prefer to find your life partner or have
a kid? You can only have one, and they all
said life partner. And for me, because of my past
and my life with my childhood, my number one need
(08:24):
in my life was to break the circle, break the chain,
and have my daughter in it in order to attempt
to heal old wounds in my life places of wounding.
I needed to be a mother to my daughter and
break the chain and not give her the childhood that
I had.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
That's something that I had to do.
I have to give credit where credit is due. Dave
Portnoy did his podcast with Breonna chicken Fry and Josh.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Richards, and he talked about his breakup.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
He was extremely respectful to his ex girlfriend, which I appreciate.
It sounded completely authentic and genuine. His description of being
at that crossroads where a woman is young and likely
wants a certain path for her life, so she probably
wanted something.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
He couldn't give it to her.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
They made that decision, and I honor that conversation and
that he did not say anything negative or untoward about her.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
When then he.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Brought up the Rachel situation, and he was unapologetic, but
he did not bring up the negative comment that he
had made. He did not say the term because I
know that he knows that that was not the best
I know that he's not in the business of apologizing,
but I can tell that he seemed like it wasn't
something he necessarily needed to say. And then his co
(01:14):
host Brianna chicken Fry, she called Rachel a scumbag. So
that was like another random shot, ironically fired not by
him but by the woman in the room. So it's
interesting because Rachel is not defined by her actions, editing,
(01:39):
and the circumstances on vander Pump rules, so.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Food for thought.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
But I if I'm gonna say, if I'm gonna call
someone out for doing something, then I'm also gonna.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Give them credit when they He was softer.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
He was softer, he was respectful to his own ex
and he did not double down.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
And he's a double downer.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
He's a person who would come in and double down
on not only trashing Rachel, but he didn't trash me
because I didn't trash him either. There's a way to
have a public forum and discussion about something. He referenced
that I had texted him. I think he even shared
the text someone said, which is a code that I
(02:22):
don't break. I don't love that he shared my texts
because that's something that I don't break. But ultimately, he's
a person who goes for the jugular and he did
not go for my jugular, nor did I go for his.
Which illustrates that you can have a healthy debate on
a topic in twenty twenty three without going to the
(02:45):
mattresses and just trashing each other. That's such low hanging
fruit clickbait twenty twenty three fodder and I've posted about
this on TikTok twice for a very brief period because
I prefer to talk about matters like this here in
a longer format.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
And what happens is on TikTok, you.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Put it up and take it down, and then everybody
starts talking about that, and they come to this podcast
to listen to my opinion on the topic. This brings
(03:28):
me to the topic of relationships and integrity in communicating
to your partner expectations. And I think that Dave Portnoy
was in a relationship with a woman who's young and
beautiful for three years. He probably fell madly in love
(03:48):
with her. He's just bought his company back, and alluding
to the fact that it's a very very stressful time
and he gets immersed and caught up in business. He
probably we can't deal with a conversation about a life
partner or getting married and having kids, and he knows
(04:09):
somewhere in his gut that he's not going to go
the distance in that way with this relationship. And I
had him on my podcast and we might have taken
it out, but he said that he didn't want to
have kids or know if he wanted to have kids.
He didn't know if he wanted to get married again.
So Sylvana seems like a person who wanted to get married.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
And I'm sure in the beginning.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
He thought he might want that too, because everything's great
in the beginning when it's got the new car smell,
and then you get into life and reality, and some
people just can't deal and some people are not built
for long term relationships. And I do think it's true
that a person has to just say to the other person,
I don't think I can give you what you need.
(04:50):
It's like a business, it's like a partnership. This is
what I expect from the partnership. This is what I
need from you as a partner. And it's a two
way street. And she probably this is what I need,
this is what I want, and he probably said, this
is what I can give, and this is what I
want and don't want. So we don't align, we don't
(05:10):
meet up in this partnership. I can't give you the partnership.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
That you need.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
It's really important that in business and in relationships people
say what they want and need in the beginning, because
as you fall in love, you think you're willing to
compromise on many things. They could be having kids, they
could be religion, they could be where you want to live.
But once you've been with someone for a long time
and you're in the nitty gritty and you've had a
(05:38):
stuffy nose around them, and you've been grouchy or hungover
or in sweats or had your period around them, and
the new car smell is off, the new car smell
is gone, that's when you start to think about, wait
a second, do I really want to live here? Do
I really want to do this? Do I really want
(05:58):
to not have kids? Seemed fine in the beginning, but
now it doesn't seem as fine. People can change their
mind too, and you have to reconnect and reset. Howard
Stern got together with Beth Ostroski and told her point
blank from the very beginning he was never having more kids.
And she has gotten very into animals as her children.
(06:21):
And she has obviously accepted that and built a life
because she wanted her life partner and sacrificed that part
of it. I've heard other people doing the same thing,
that the life partner is more important than the kids.
So you have to make that decision for yourself. And
it sounds like Dave and Sivana did. The point is
you always have to be communicating your wants, your needs,
(06:43):
your expectations, and at different points in relationships they will
change and people will evolve or grow in different directions
or have circumstances that affect a relationship, a death, a bankruptcy,
something stressful in business, and then you reassess where you
(07:05):
are in your life and decide if you're on the
same page with your partner.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
It's very hard to do.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
And he said he was stealing her youth, which is
interesting because for many women they get into relationships and
he's a wealthy, older man and that was probably fun.
And he took her all over the world and he
bought her presents and cars, and she lived the life.
But does she want to do that for the next
thirty years without a child for herself, or a ring
(07:32):
on her finger, or the wedding that she wants or
the life that she dreamed of. There are sacrifices, and
at her age, you don't see it the same way
as someone my age sees it, where just being in
a partnership and having peace in your life is extremely valuable.
(07:53):
My daughter is my entire life. That's not something I
would ever have been able to sacrifice. I would never
have been able to choose the relationship for being a
parent to my daughter.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
So you have to make those choices.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
I once asked a bunch of people at my talk show,
would you prefer to find your life partner or have
a kid? You can only have one, and they all
said life partner. And for me, because of my past
and my life with my childhood, my number one need
(08:24):
in my life was to break the circle, break the chain,
and have my daughter in it in order to attempt
to heal old wounds in my life places of wounding.
I needed to be a mother to my daughter and
break the chain and not give her the childhood that
I had.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
That's something that I had to do.
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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