July 1, 2025 • 16 mins
If you let people know where you are, they'll understand why you act in a certain way. Be honest, be specific, be VOCAL. Communication turns "being needy" into "asking for what I want."
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:12):
I want to talk about being transparent and honest when
you're in relationship. The reason I say that is everybody
comes into a relationship with a different background. It could
be financial, it could be cultural, it could be geographical,
it could be nature versus nurture, a million different things.
(00:35):
It can be a relationship before, an abusive relationship before,
or really positive relationship before. But people come into a
situation and everybody has their own inner monologue and dialogue
about what they think something should be based on what's
in their own head. And I've said this to people.
Also providing context for people that you relate to, even
(00:58):
at work, you know, you know, romantic relationships, friendships, business relationships.
I mean, you're not going to start getting into that
you were abused as a child in a business relationship
per se. But giving context is important. And I said
this sentence to someone. I said to someone, they're raised
(01:20):
like a breeder dog with safety security, knowing where the
meals were going to come from and knowing that they
weren't going to be abused and they were going to
be protected. And that I come from a perspective of
being a rescue dog, a dog that has been in
many different homes and had many different experiences and comes
(01:41):
in a little cagey doesn't trust that much. Could act
in a different type of way than somebody else who
is a breeder dog, because by definition you've had How
could two people with vastly different experiences react in the
same way. So if you let people know where you are,
(02:02):
then they'll understand why you act in a certain way.
And yes, that could apply to business. It could be
in business that you're explaining to someone that you are
a very direct person, that you don't respond well to
beating around the bush or a lot of small talk
or corporate jargon like that's a way of saying something
where then in the future they're going to know how
(02:25):
you might operate or why you might act cold or
weird or distant or dismissive or something like that. And
certainly in a relationship, it could be like I have
the tendency to run, so if you run too, this
will never happen. And I've been in relationships with people
who get insecure when I run, and then they want
to run, and then it's done because somebody needs to
(02:46):
be the rock, and somebody is going to be. You know,
if you have two breeder dogs, then great. If you
have two rescue dogs that can be challenging too. That
can be like two different insecurities and cagueness and radic
or unpredictable or just not traditional. I don't like to
(03:08):
say irrational but not normally expected behavior, you know what
I mean, like things that would seem unexpected. So I
think it's good to know where people come from so
you know how to deal with them in all situations
in life. There's one thing I wanted to say about dating.
I was on the I was with Alex Cooper in
(03:29):
the Unwell Tour on stage, and I was giving dating advice,
and the one thing I forgot to mention that I
thought was so important in dating advice is this, you
could really like someone like to the point where it
gives you the chills. You can't even believe how much
you like them. You're so into them, it's uncomfortable, like
you're in Just like in business, you could be so
(03:49):
into a business deal you could make. You're gonna make
millions of dollars. It's gonna be the best business deal
you're ever in. Right, But if you're not getting what
you want and need, and it's going to like affect
you and affect your life. And you're settling for less
than what you deserve. You're kind of cheating yourself. You're
selling yourself short. Something is wrong. Your gut is telling
(04:10):
you something's wrong. You don't like the way it makes
you feel. You have to be willing to walk. You
have to be willing to walk, but not in a bluff.
This used to happen with housewives all the time. I
watch people say they were gonna walk, and then Bravo
realized that they weren't really gonna walk, and then they
called their bluff, and then the person has no leverage
the next time around. I've seen this. I can name
five housewives who've gotten paid so much less than they
(04:32):
would have and ten times less than I got paid
because they didn't know what they were doing. There's a
confidence to that, and it's scary. That's scary to be
able to say to someone, I'm into you, but I'm
willing to walk because I won't settle for less than
what I deserve. And that's business, that's friendships, that's all
of it, and that is very strong. I've done that
(04:53):
in friendships too. I've had someone treat me in a
way that is not appropriate. And I have walked and
they have come back around and they have never made
that mistake again. But it's it's scary because sometimes you
really know you'll really miss that relationship, you missed that friendship,
you will miss that that guy, that girl, and you
(05:13):
gotta be able to do it. And there's something in
a relationship to landing vulnerability, confidently being needy in a
way that is confident, like for me at me and
saying I need a little love, I need a little
praise right now. I'm a little needy. That's way more
confident than actually being needy and drippy and desperate and thirsty,
(05:34):
like the way you frame things, you know, the way
like saying what you need is confident. Begging for scraps
and being desperate and waiting around and then not getting
it and accepting that you didn't get it and asking
for it again, that's needy. There's a very big difference
between being like, this is what I need, this is
(05:56):
what I require, this is what I want, and like
I said, call the bluff. Gotta be willing to walk.
Also being able to articulate to someone the difference between
(06:21):
your wants and your needs your deal breakers and what
you really would like, because if you're in a healthy relationship,
most people will want to give each other what they
need and want, and you can't pick every single thing.
Everything can't be a need. Some things are a want,
and you might not get at all. But as one
of the dating coaches on here said, I really really
(06:43):
really validate what he said when he said a relationship
should not be work, and we got to it should
be effort. And I was talking to someone about this today.
It should be intention, but it should be desire. You
want to work on it, you want to get better,
but it's not work. And many of us have had
the same experience where we think we're the problem. Somebody
(07:07):
is good on paper, somebody seems like they're it. Someone
you know you're supposed to be feeling some way. Why
are you being critical of the other person. Why don't
you want to share with the other person? Why are
you leaving them out of things? Why do you want
to do things without them? Why do you not feel
great when you're around them? Why are you kind of
excited when they leave? Why are you not that excited
(07:28):
when you see them? Then you start saying, but they're
so good, they're so generous, they're this, They're what I'm
supposed to be wanting. Then you go inside. Then you
start beating yourself up. Then you start saying it must
be me. I must be flawed in some way, I
can't be happy, I can't allow myself to love. Then
it's another dialogue. If there is a person that fits
you properly, these things will not exist. You will have
(07:52):
to have intention, you will have to make an effort,
but they will not be the feeling of dread and
negotiating with yourself and torturing yourself and torment yourself and
tearing yourself apart because you're staying out of fear. Now
compound that you have kids, you're afraid because of financial reasons,
or because you've already gotten married, because what's your family
(08:12):
going to think. I mean, these things are super important
and also why relationship should not be jumped into. But
we beat the shit out of ourselves unnecessarily. If you
eat something and it doesn't agree with you, you just you
listen to that. You don't start talking about why the
thing is supposed Oh it's supposed to be good for me.
It's coconut, it's got good oil. If you don't like
(08:33):
it or it doesn't make you feel good, you don't
eat it. You don't care what the fuck anyone says
about it, How good for you it's supposed to be.
You're not eating it. You rejected it, your body rejected it.
Doesn't mean you're psychologically unfit, doesn't mean you can't if
something's wrong with you. It means it's not right for you.
So we have to get more clear with that stuff,
because I feel like we torture ourselves and spend so
much unnecessary time doing that in addition to the wants
(08:57):
and needs. It's like related, but it's like what's your thing?
What's your thing? The dating coach said. Men want to
be acknowledged. I think it was admired and appreciated. Women
want to feel safe, heard and understood. For me, it's safe.
I've heard men say to me loved, you know, loved.
(09:19):
So whatever it is, you listen to the other person
and you make sure that you give that to them
because some people could say it in that one moment,
but not in the day to day, and not everyone
needs to express themselves verbally. Do you ever notice there's
some people that express themselves nonverbally. It's their actions, it's
the way they do it, it's the way they make
you feel. They don't. Everyone doesn't need to be emoting
at all times, and sometimes because of our previous experiences,
(09:43):
we actually can't trust ourselves. We do have good gut instincts,
but sometimes we go back for the thing that's not
good for us, and we have to break the chain
ourselves in relationships, but not the pendulum, not where you're
just going to the opposite of what you did before,
which could be boring or dangerous for you, but basically
(10:04):
realizing if I walk into a casino, I might not
be able to be trusted. I'm gonna gamble. If I
go into a bakery, I'm gonna want all the sugar.
I'm not good in that environment. Knowing you know, if
I see a hot guy that looks like a bad boy,
that's what I'm going for. Or I tend to go
with somebody who's gonna treat me like shit but is
great in bed or whatever it is. We have to
acknowledge who we are and what our behaviors are and
(10:26):
why why we attract that and become your best self
before you get ready to be dating that's the hardest part.
People want to jump in. They want to they want
to fix it with the band aid. You want to
feel better, you want to go on a date. You
want to meet somebody, You want to be in a relationship.
You want somebody for the holidays, you want somebody for
New Year's Eve. If you want to feel part of something,
(10:47):
you don't want to feel alone. You don't want to
go to the wedding alone. You don't want to be
the loser. Then you jump in something that's wrong for you,
and you're wasting time not finding the right person, and
you have never done the work. So even if you
found the right place person, you wouldn't be ready because
you're still a train wreck because you were so afraid.
You never did the work. And you when you start
a relationship, that bar better be really high. It will
(11:09):
only go down no matter what. You have a new car,
it will not smell like a new car in six months,
maybe a faint. So you better raise that bar high
in the beginning. Don't start settling from the jump. Now. Listen,
there is a time in the beginning you meet someone
it's not going to be off to the racist perfection.
You've got to sniff each other out. You've got to
get each other's patterns, wants, needs, likes, loves, sex. Communicate
(11:32):
about sex not in the bedroom, outside of the bedroom.
What does someone like? What does someone not like? What
about you know? Personal styles? What about cadence? What about
how much? What about how intense? What about how it
makes you feel? What about your past sexual experiences? What
about your trust issues as it pertains to sex. I mean,
sex is a massive topic, but overall, you set the
(11:52):
bar high and you train the dog in the beginning,
and I don't mean the man as a dog or
the woman's dog. People need to be trained in the beginning.
This is where the wee wee pad is. This is
where it isn't so we don't have any confusion. Later.
We may all have some accidents along the way. That's normal.
But we're not going to start this thing by dumbing
it down, because then it'll be in a shambles and
all the cracks become craters. So beware of the cracks,
(12:16):
beware of the pink flags. Critical periods to look out for.
I believe our six weeks. What are we doing? Do
we actually like each other? Is there a connection? Are
(12:38):
we continuing on to the next gauntlet, which is three months.
Three months is are we in a relationship? Are we
doing this at some point? Will I meet your family?
Will you meet my friends? Will I meet your kids?
Will we say I love you? Like? Three months is
critical and then we're off to the races. Then you
get to six months and a year and the rest
(12:59):
is history. But three months, to me, would be the
most critical part in any relationship. It's when you decide
what the real intention is of the entire relationship. I
stand by what the experts say about texting. Control yourself.
I'm saying to myself as well. Do not communicate anything
important via text. Now this means, you know, reprimanding someone,
(13:24):
scolding someone, giving some notes, saying something you don't like,
saying something you do like, saying how you really deeply
feel about someone. Like real feelings should not be communicated
by text. Now there's a gray area because it could
be I miss you. That's a real feeling, but that's
like a small statement or XO, or I can't wait
to see you, or you make me feel great, or
(13:46):
you're making me happy, or look at I mean, once
in a while, there's an exception. But overall, you should
not be getting into broad stroke topics, negotiating something, talking
about how something makes you feel, how something didn't make
you feel. I wish you didn't do that. Can you
not do it? Like no arguing? No real meat should
be happening on texting. And it's a discipline because you
can't always get someone on the phone and people work.
And I would say if you're in something, FaceTime is
(14:08):
important too, if you're not with the person, particularly if
you're long distance. But if you're not gonna be with
the person all the time, someone's facetiming tour from work.
It is remarkable what it means to see someone's face
compared to just being on the phone. Let's take this down.
Seeing someone's face is a whole different ball game than
being on the phone. But being on the phone is
a whole different ball game than texting, which is pathetic
(14:30):
and sad because being on the phone can be really disconnected.
It really can. But texting, it's a fucking joke. Texting
is like getting a bag of cheetos and wanting it
to feel like you had like brown rice, chicken, breast
and broccolini. Like it's garbage food. It's junk food. It's
never gonna it's not gonna do it. It's just it's
like a tool that we overuse. Texting technically should be
(14:51):
like I'm in the corner booth and a red shirt.
It shouldn't even be as much as we use it for.
But we use it as a crutch, as a tool,
and you know, it's a necessary evil. One of the
tricky things in dating is talking about x's it really
really is. We say we're never going to do it,
we do it not because like, oh I miss Joe.
It's a reference point. You want to compliment the person
you're with. You like, I'm not used to this, you know,
(15:11):
And sometimes it does feel good. I don't mind it.
I don't mind it if someone says something about their
ex as it pertains to us and why this is different.
I mean, it's sometimes informative. If the last person used
to do something that really bothered you or made you
feel unsafe, you might have to discuss it with the
current person because that is institutional knowledge. Talking about how
you still miss the person or how you broke up
(15:32):
or when Joe and I used to go to do this.
That is not a good idea. Joe bought me flowers
and you don't. That is not a good idea. But
I'm used to a different dynamic with Joe where I
feel guilty about doing this. You know that might make
someone feel good that you're validating. Oh what's going on?
And again, as some of the matchmaker is only one
of the dating coaches has expressed the male dating coach,
(15:53):
the game moves fast when you're dating. We have all
these plans. We plan a god laughs, You plan to
have a get, play a game, do this, do that.
It all goes out the window. It does. You do
the very best you can, but it all does go
out the window.
I want to talk about being transparent and honest when
you're in relationship. The reason I say that is everybody
comes into a relationship with a different background. It could
be financial, it could be cultural, it could be geographical,
it could be nature versus nurture, a million different things.
(00:35):
It can be a relationship before, an abusive relationship before,
or really positive relationship before. But people come into a
situation and everybody has their own inner monologue and dialogue
about what they think something should be based on what's
in their own head. And I've said this to people.
Also providing context for people that you relate to, even
(00:58):
at work, you know, you know, romantic relationships, friendships, business relationships.
I mean, you're not going to start getting into that
you were abused as a child in a business relationship
per se. But giving context is important. And I said
this sentence to someone. I said to someone, they're raised
(01:20):
like a breeder dog with safety security, knowing where the
meals were going to come from and knowing that they
weren't going to be abused and they were going to
be protected. And that I come from a perspective of
being a rescue dog, a dog that has been in
many different homes and had many different experiences and comes
(01:41):
in a little cagey doesn't trust that much. Could act
in a different type of way than somebody else who
is a breeder dog, because by definition you've had How
could two people with vastly different experiences react in the
same way. So if you let people know where you are,
(02:02):
then they'll understand why you act in a certain way.
And yes, that could apply to business. It could be
in business that you're explaining to someone that you are
a very direct person, that you don't respond well to
beating around the bush or a lot of small talk
or corporate jargon like that's a way of saying something
where then in the future they're going to know how
(02:25):
you might operate or why you might act cold or
weird or distant or dismissive or something like that. And
certainly in a relationship, it could be like I have
the tendency to run, so if you run too, this
will never happen. And I've been in relationships with people
who get insecure when I run, and then they want
to run, and then it's done because somebody needs to
(02:46):
be the rock, and somebody is going to be. You know,
if you have two breeder dogs, then great. If you
have two rescue dogs that can be challenging too. That
can be like two different insecurities and cagueness and radic
or unpredictable or just not traditional. I don't like to
(03:08):
say irrational but not normally expected behavior, you know what
I mean, like things that would seem unexpected. So I
think it's good to know where people come from so
you know how to deal with them in all situations
in life. There's one thing I wanted to say about dating.
I was on the I was with Alex Cooper in
(03:29):
the Unwell Tour on stage, and I was giving dating advice,
and the one thing I forgot to mention that I
thought was so important in dating advice is this, you
could really like someone like to the point where it
gives you the chills. You can't even believe how much
you like them. You're so into them, it's uncomfortable, like
you're in Just like in business, you could be so
(03:49):
into a business deal you could make. You're gonna make
millions of dollars. It's gonna be the best business deal
you're ever in. Right, But if you're not getting what
you want and need, and it's going to like affect
you and affect your life. And you're settling for less
than what you deserve. You're kind of cheating yourself. You're
selling yourself short. Something is wrong. Your gut is telling
(04:10):
you something's wrong. You don't like the way it makes
you feel. You have to be willing to walk. You
have to be willing to walk, but not in a bluff.
This used to happen with housewives all the time. I
watch people say they were gonna walk, and then Bravo
realized that they weren't really gonna walk, and then they
called their bluff, and then the person has no leverage
the next time around. I've seen this. I can name
five housewives who've gotten paid so much less than they
(04:32):
would have and ten times less than I got paid
because they didn't know what they were doing. There's a
confidence to that, and it's scary. That's scary to be
able to say to someone, I'm into you, but I'm
willing to walk because I won't settle for less than
what I deserve. And that's business, that's friendships, that's all
of it, and that is very strong. I've done that
(04:53):
in friendships too. I've had someone treat me in a
way that is not appropriate. And I have walked and
they have come back around and they have never made
that mistake again. But it's it's scary because sometimes you
really know you'll really miss that relationship, you missed that friendship,
you will miss that that guy, that girl, and you
(05:13):
gotta be able to do it. And there's something in
a relationship to landing vulnerability, confidently being needy in a
way that is confident, like for me at me and
saying I need a little love, I need a little
praise right now. I'm a little needy. That's way more
confident than actually being needy and drippy and desperate and thirsty,
(05:34):
like the way you frame things, you know, the way
like saying what you need is confident. Begging for scraps
and being desperate and waiting around and then not getting
it and accepting that you didn't get it and asking
for it again, that's needy. There's a very big difference
between being like, this is what I need, this is
(05:56):
what I require, this is what I want, and like
I said, call the bluff. Gotta be willing to walk.
Also being able to articulate to someone the difference between
(06:21):
your wants and your needs your deal breakers and what
you really would like, because if you're in a healthy relationship,
most people will want to give each other what they
need and want, and you can't pick every single thing.
Everything can't be a need. Some things are a want,
and you might not get at all. But as one
of the dating coaches on here said, I really really
(06:43):
really validate what he said when he said a relationship
should not be work, and we got to it should
be effort. And I was talking to someone about this today.
It should be intention, but it should be desire. You
want to work on it, you want to get better,
but it's not work. And many of us have had
the same experience where we think we're the problem. Somebody
(07:07):
is good on paper, somebody seems like they're it. Someone
you know you're supposed to be feeling some way. Why
are you being critical of the other person. Why don't
you want to share with the other person? Why are
you leaving them out of things? Why do you want
to do things without them? Why do you not feel
great when you're around them? Why are you kind of
excited when they leave? Why are you not that excited
(07:28):
when you see them? Then you start saying, but they're
so good, they're so generous, they're this, They're what I'm
supposed to be wanting. Then you go inside. Then you
start beating yourself up. Then you start saying it must
be me. I must be flawed in some way, I
can't be happy, I can't allow myself to love. Then
it's another dialogue. If there is a person that fits
you properly, these things will not exist. You will have
(07:52):
to have intention, you will have to make an effort,
but they will not be the feeling of dread and
negotiating with yourself and torturing yourself and torment yourself and
tearing yourself apart because you're staying out of fear. Now
compound that you have kids, you're afraid because of financial reasons,
or because you've already gotten married, because what's your family
(08:12):
going to think. I mean, these things are super important
and also why relationship should not be jumped into. But
we beat the shit out of ourselves unnecessarily. If you
eat something and it doesn't agree with you, you just you
listen to that. You don't start talking about why the
thing is supposed Oh it's supposed to be good for me.
It's coconut, it's got good oil. If you don't like
(08:33):
it or it doesn't make you feel good, you don't
eat it. You don't care what the fuck anyone says
about it, How good for you it's supposed to be.
You're not eating it. You rejected it, your body rejected it.
Doesn't mean you're psychologically unfit, doesn't mean you can't if
something's wrong with you. It means it's not right for you.
So we have to get more clear with that stuff,
because I feel like we torture ourselves and spend so
much unnecessary time doing that in addition to the wants
(08:57):
and needs. It's like related, but it's like what's your thing?
What's your thing? The dating coach said. Men want to
be acknowledged. I think it was admired and appreciated. Women
want to feel safe, heard and understood. For me, it's safe.
I've heard men say to me loved, you know, loved.
(09:19):
So whatever it is, you listen to the other person
and you make sure that you give that to them
because some people could say it in that one moment,
but not in the day to day, and not everyone
needs to express themselves verbally. Do you ever notice there's
some people that express themselves nonverbally. It's their actions, it's
the way they do it, it's the way they make
you feel. They don't. Everyone doesn't need to be emoting
at all times, and sometimes because of our previous experiences,
(09:43):
we actually can't trust ourselves. We do have good gut instincts,
but sometimes we go back for the thing that's not
good for us, and we have to break the chain
ourselves in relationships, but not the pendulum, not where you're
just going to the opposite of what you did before,
which could be boring or dangerous for you, but basically
(10:04):
realizing if I walk into a casino, I might not
be able to be trusted. I'm gonna gamble. If I
go into a bakery, I'm gonna want all the sugar.
I'm not good in that environment. Knowing you know, if
I see a hot guy that looks like a bad boy,
that's what I'm going for. Or I tend to go
with somebody who's gonna treat me like shit but is
great in bed or whatever it is. We have to
acknowledge who we are and what our behaviors are and
(10:26):
why why we attract that and become your best self
before you get ready to be dating that's the hardest part.
People want to jump in. They want to they want
to fix it with the band aid. You want to
feel better, you want to go on a date. You
want to meet somebody, You want to be in a relationship.
You want somebody for the holidays, you want somebody for
New Year's Eve. If you want to feel part of something,
(10:47):
you don't want to feel alone. You don't want to
go to the wedding alone. You don't want to be
the loser. Then you jump in something that's wrong for you,
and you're wasting time not finding the right person, and
you have never done the work. So even if you
found the right place person, you wouldn't be ready because
you're still a train wreck because you were so afraid.
You never did the work. And you when you start
a relationship, that bar better be really high. It will
(11:09):
only go down no matter what. You have a new car,
it will not smell like a new car in six months,
maybe a faint. So you better raise that bar high
in the beginning. Don't start settling from the jump. Now. Listen,
there is a time in the beginning you meet someone
it's not going to be off to the racist perfection.
You've got to sniff each other out. You've got to
get each other's patterns, wants, needs, likes, loves, sex. Communicate
(11:32):
about sex not in the bedroom, outside of the bedroom.
What does someone like? What does someone not like? What
about you know? Personal styles? What about cadence? What about
how much? What about how intense? What about how it
makes you feel? What about your past sexual experiences? What
about your trust issues as it pertains to sex. I mean,
sex is a massive topic, but overall, you set the
(11:52):
bar high and you train the dog in the beginning,
and I don't mean the man as a dog or
the woman's dog. People need to be trained in the beginning.
This is where the wee wee pad is. This is
where it isn't so we don't have any confusion. Later.
We may all have some accidents along the way. That's normal.
But we're not going to start this thing by dumbing
it down, because then it'll be in a shambles and
all the cracks become craters. So beware of the cracks,
(12:16):
beware of the pink flags. Critical periods to look out for.
I believe our six weeks. What are we doing? Do
we actually like each other? Is there a connection? Are
(12:38):
we continuing on to the next gauntlet, which is three months.
Three months is are we in a relationship? Are we
doing this at some point? Will I meet your family?
Will you meet my friends? Will I meet your kids?
Will we say I love you? Like? Three months is
critical and then we're off to the races. Then you
get to six months and a year and the rest
(12:59):
is history. But three months, to me, would be the
most critical part in any relationship. It's when you decide
what the real intention is of the entire relationship. I
stand by what the experts say about texting. Control yourself.
I'm saying to myself as well. Do not communicate anything
important via text. Now this means, you know, reprimanding someone,
(13:24):
scolding someone, giving some notes, saying something you don't like,
saying something you do like, saying how you really deeply
feel about someone. Like real feelings should not be communicated
by text. Now there's a gray area because it could
be I miss you. That's a real feeling, but that's
like a small statement or XO, or I can't wait
to see you, or you make me feel great, or
(13:46):
you're making me happy, or look at I mean, once
in a while, there's an exception. But overall, you should
not be getting into broad stroke topics, negotiating something, talking
about how something makes you feel, how something didn't make
you feel. I wish you didn't do that. Can you
not do it? Like no arguing? No real meat should
be happening on texting. And it's a discipline because you
can't always get someone on the phone and people work.
And I would say if you're in something, FaceTime is
(14:08):
important too, if you're not with the person, particularly if
you're long distance. But if you're not gonna be with
the person all the time, someone's facetiming tour from work.
It is remarkable what it means to see someone's face
compared to just being on the phone. Let's take this down.
Seeing someone's face is a whole different ball game than
being on the phone. But being on the phone is
a whole different ball game than texting, which is pathetic
(14:30):
and sad because being on the phone can be really disconnected.
It really can. But texting, it's a fucking joke. Texting
is like getting a bag of cheetos and wanting it
to feel like you had like brown rice, chicken, breast
and broccolini. Like it's garbage food. It's junk food. It's
never gonna it's not gonna do it. It's just it's
like a tool that we overuse. Texting technically should be
(14:51):
like I'm in the corner booth and a red shirt.
It shouldn't even be as much as we use it for.
But we use it as a crutch, as a tool,
and you know, it's a necessary evil. One of the
tricky things in dating is talking about x's it really
really is. We say we're never going to do it,
we do it not because like, oh I miss Joe.
It's a reference point. You want to compliment the person
you're with. You like, I'm not used to this, you know,
(15:11):
And sometimes it does feel good. I don't mind it.
I don't mind it if someone says something about their
ex as it pertains to us and why this is different.
I mean, it's sometimes informative. If the last person used
to do something that really bothered you or made you
feel unsafe, you might have to discuss it with the
current person because that is institutional knowledge. Talking about how
you still miss the person or how you broke up
(15:32):
or when Joe and I used to go to do this.
That is not a good idea. Joe bought me flowers
and you don't. That is not a good idea. But
I'm used to a different dynamic with Joe where I
feel guilty about doing this. You know that might make
someone feel good that you're validating. Oh what's going on?
And again, as some of the matchmaker is only one
of the dating coaches has expressed the male dating coach,
(15:53):
the game moves fast when you're dating. We have all
these plans. We plan a god laughs, You plan to
have a get, play a game, do this, do that.
It all goes out the window. It does. You do
the very best you can, but it all does go
out the window.
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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