April 10, 2026 • 16 mins
My daughter is getting some input. PLUS: Balance is everything.
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Speaker 1 (00:12):
So I was talking to my friend about the college
that her child wants to go to. And I'm really
close to my daughter and I have one child, which
I think does make it different because it would be
like playing favorites if you had four, but I have
one child, and she's so connected to these babies and
the pandemic. We were our quarantine, the babies or the babies,
(00:33):
the furry babies. And she's not going to college somewhere
that's not close to me, So like, judge me, don't
judge me.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I really don't care.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
But if, like she goes to college somewhere, I'm accessible.
For a number of reasons I'm not going to get
into because they're personal, but like, I'm not going to
be far.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
So we are deciding where we're going to college. Now.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
The good news is where she wants to go, I
love and I already am, like to be totally honest,
her grades are amazing. She's very diligent, she's very disciplined.
And the truth is she's smart, but like I didn't
know she was this smart. Like she's smarter than I am,
and she retains information, has the patience more than I do,
(01:16):
and she has amazing grades and she can get into
probably an Ivy League school and I know you have
to apply to like ten, but like she wants to
go to University of Miami, like period the end. I
live in Florida, and you know what, go with God,
Like it's a great school. It's not only that meaning
I'm not one of these people that it's like, oh,
if you can get into Harvard or Stanford, like you
(01:40):
have to go. I'm into where do you want to
be to be happy? Like she likes to be near
the beach. She likes Florida. She likes to be near me.
She likes to be near the babies. Now, if she
wanted to go to Stamford and got in, I'd get
a place in California. If she wanted to go to Pepperdine.
We're not going to school. It's not near beach. So
I love you guys so much and don't change. But
it's sorry, not sorry. I'm part of this decision. You
can hate me. I don't want to go somewhere it's
(02:01):
one hundred and ten degrees, and I don't want to
go somewhere it's twenty five degrees. I want her to
go somewhere like I'm saying I don't want to go.
I would like her to go somewhere where I would
like to spend time or be near, so she has
access to me if she needs me. But the point,
the bigger point I'm making is I'm not one who
cares that deeply about where someone went to school. It's
kind of like a flex and like when I do
(02:22):
meet men, I'm like, oh, he went to Stanford, he
went to Princeton, he went to you know. And then
there's the dope schools that some people go to, and
I do judge it a little bit, But happiness is
paramount to me, not the flex. So when they make
an Ivy League school on the ocean, we'll be applying there,
so I might have to build a school.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
So I've been.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Thinking a lot about people talking about how they don't
drink and there's so much healthier and they look better,
et cetera. But I've also been thinking about the balance
of healthy and happy, Like if I'm going out and
i want to have a drink and I'm not over
serving myself, I'm not pounding drinks in black out and
I'm drinking water, and there's some version of a balance
to it sometimes there's not a balance, like you're having
(03:06):
one to two drinks, but it's often a week, so
you feel like it's too many nights and like you
just don't feel one hundred percent. But if you have
a decent relationship with it and it sort of makes
you happy, you're stay out a little longer, or laugh
a little more, or dance a little more with your friends.
Isn't there a balance to being happy, meaning that you're healthier,
(03:26):
Like if you're laughing more, dancing more, engaging more, being
more social. They literally say that being more social is
going to make you live longer. So if you are
having fun but you are drinking, doesn't it kind of
like balance itself out versus like I'm not drinking, but
I'm going to bed at nine thirty every night, and
I'm kind of not making the same kind of plans
because I'm not drinking, and like dates aren't is fun.
(03:48):
I'm just asking the question. It is also like girl
math where I'm trying to convince myself, but I do
believe it.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I believe that if you push too far and.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Abuse the privilege and balance, then you have to stop
it down and you can't do it. But if you don't,
I believe. I believe balance is key. I believe balance
is key. There are people that exercise and do weights
and I don't. And there are people that get every
single treatment and every single skin thing that I don't,
and like, I feel like I'm doing it right.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
I really do.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
I think sleep is critical and just being happy has
to trump any shot or thing that you could do
that you're told you should do. A couple of things
in news related to kids, there's a big social media
landmark case. A landmark case is like a big sort
of history making, you know, like big tobacco would be
(04:40):
a landmark case. Like there are big Chinese dry wall,
like you know, transvaginal mesh, like these class action, massive
cases that change the world with social media. A mother's
daughter took her own life and the mother is arguing
that it was because of social media. The influence is
the addiction that it's addictive, that kids stay on longer.
(05:03):
I mean, there's a lot of data to prove this,
et cetera. So it's gaining traction and it does make
us think about our kids, and you know what we
do it it's the doom scrolling when you see your kid
just like wakes up in the morning, goes on the
couch and just the scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling late at night,
scrolling scrolling, like it's junk food. It's consuming junk food.
You know, my daughter's learned how to put the hair
(05:24):
and the t shirt curlers, or do the crafts, or
make the food or eat the this, and so I
think there are parts that are good. We've made recipes
as a result of what we've gotten excited for the
cuissant mixed with the cookie for you know, the crafts
she makes, skincare, et cetera.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
But it's had its influence.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
It's made the young girlies go into Sephora at ten
years old. They were making all these smoothies out of
the samples in the store, making a mess, but more importantly,
wanting to buy Charlotte Tilbury and like expensive summer fridays,
anything marketed to them, like they were bunges for anything
marketed to them. It was the bum bump cream and
(06:04):
it was this sola shenio fragrances, and it like goes
in cycles and the companies like Pump Pump, Pump, Pump
Pump get the kids to buy it. But it's not sustainable.
Drunk elephant, the companies can't spend enough to get the
kids hooked on the crack long enough because kids are
onto the next thing. So you see, drunk elephant was
the biggest thing sold. Deghenaro was the biggest thing, all
the biggest things. Like are they going to stay around?
(06:27):
But anyway, the point is, there are lawsuits about makeup
being marketed to kids.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
It's or studies.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
There are studies now and there was something on the
news today about makeup being marketed to young kids and
the damage it causes. Just another thing I wanted to
mention to you is obligation. You hear a lot of
people you're supposed to do the right thing, You're supposed
to show up, You're supposed.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
To do that.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I have to go. I don't want to go, but
I have to go. Now, if it's your children, you'll
usually want to go. You might say that, but like
you're like, I gotta go to but you do want
to go. You're not even thinking about it, So that's
not an obligation, like that's something you want to do.
It might be you'd rather lay in bed than go
to a volleyball tournament. For the weekend, but like your
body wants to go, you want to be there for
(07:10):
your child.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
It's a layered If there are.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Things that you just don't want to do, you're not
supposed to be the person that does the things that
you don't want to do. That's disingenuous. That leads to resentment.
It's not honest. It actually lacks authenticity. It doesn't mean
you're a better person if you're just doing things that
you don't want to do, because often people then will
sort of throw it up to other people or I
(07:34):
did that, or I bought that. I did that, he
didn't do this. That's the silent contract. I hate that
I give gifts to everyone. I don't want anything in return.
Couldn't care less. Don't get me a gift. I didn't
get you something because you just supposed to get me something.
I couldn't care less. I don't like that about anything.
I went to your thing. You can't to my thing
because you wanted to come. If you don't want to
come to my thing, don't come. I'll come to your
thing if I want to come. I don't like that
(07:56):
kind of manipulation and shackling and bullshit. Frankly, someone said
to me yesterday, be with the person that makes you
(08:18):
feel the most comfortable. I thought that was so interesting.
I don't know if that's accurate completely. It makes some sense,
but the person makes you feel the most comfortable. It
is true with some people the comfort is there when
you're together, and some people the communication styles really get
jammed up. Like someone could reach out or connect with
(08:38):
you regularly, but it almost feels like a pen pal.
It feels like a bread crumb. It feels like someone's
lobbing in a call versus a good volley back and forth. Yeah,
once in a while where you don't feel insecure, you
text them. It doesn't matter when they text you. If
it's the wrong dynamic. You're sort of texting because they
text it, or because you should text her versus just
like texting anytime you don't look at who texted last.
(08:59):
You don't care if you texted in a row. Like
that's a communication cadence. Communication cadence is huge, and it's
usually indicative of normal dating cadence. And anytime I've had
a little bit of a bump up against the cadence,
like it's not in a court of law, the person
checked in. The person said they are, you know, miss
you or they want to see you or whatever they
(09:19):
said the right thing at whenever.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
It's just like when you're like, wait, that was weird.
He didn't text me back. That was weird.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
I didn't hear back, Like should I text? If something's
going on in your head, the communication cadence is off,
and I don't like that, And it affects the physical
cadence because if the communication cadence when you're not together
is off, you pull back a little and you kind
of have to start over when you physically see each
other again, and if it's on, you pick up right
you left off.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
And also, if you go too.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Long between seeing someone, you will lose interest and get distracted.
Absence does not make the heart refonder in dating unless
you're super insecure and you've latched and slept with the
person and just want to get them just for the
sake of getting them, capture them, and you're you know,
But if you don't see a person and get something
on the board, you do lose interest and people do
(10:07):
not play it right. You got to keep the ball.
The volley has to keep going, otherwise the ball drops.
So talking about like family values. I have to say,
until you're a parent of a child at a certain age,
you don't realize how important the meal time is. Because
if you really think about how many meals you get
with your kids, like with my daughter, I want to
make sure she's eating a healthy breakfast, but like she's
(10:29):
running out the door and I'm still groggy when she's leaving,
like and she also doesn't want to talk to me,
look at me. She's got to put her fragrance on
bomb her room, and so you know, you know, it's
not like the movies, like every day she sits down,
we're making eggs and bacon. Like it doesn't happen like that.
Even if I like got up at six o'clock in
the morning and started like soaking oats, She's not sitting
down for it. She wants to take her time, do
(10:51):
her hair and have as much time in bed. There's
no breakfast time like the fucking you know, leave it
to beaver. So my new move now is to like
leave out good components, Like I'll leave out like yogurt, fruit,
some good granola, like so she could like put it together,
because you know, people need like suggestive food. Teenagers especially
(11:13):
so like even if it's nights that I go out
to do my own thing, or I'm going out for
work dinner, or I have a date or something, nine
times out of ten I sit down with her to
eat without me eating, and then I go. But if
I had to be out, I would make sure like
there was some grilled chicken there and some rice in
the fridge with a separate steam broccoli so she could
just like put it together.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
And eat it.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
And I do feel like the meal time is super important,
and I've loved the way it's brought us together because
it's just something that, like, I don't know, it feels wholesome.
It feels nice that every night my daughter doesn't go
out on weeknights, she's very into schoolwork and she's very disciplined.
I mean, such a rare exception, it shouldn't even be mentioned.
And another rare exception is she'll say, do you want
to like go get something like quick, Like it's like
(11:54):
like one of those bowl places are like a salad place.
That would be like one time in three weeks, maybe
one time in a week, she'll say, do you want
to order in? I don't love ordering in because it's
a bunch of fucking slop and a mess. And I
just don't like leftover containers and it's just like you
might as well have cooked at that point.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
It's like slop.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
So I like to cook and different versions of cooking.
It's not every night like it's like cocko VN. Like
tonight I bought a roast chicken, which I'm not roasting
a chicken all day because it's gonna taste just as good.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
But then I'll make good sides, et cetera.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
But I like when she comes home and like she
sees me in the kitchen and we're just like talking
about it. And every night we just have landed on
six o'clock and I like the sit down and like
that's when we do really talk about things and the
phone should be away, aside from when I take a
picture for you nosy bitches to show you what I made.
But like it is important because we don't get lunch.
They're at school for lunch. You know. When she was younger,
I'd put out like hummus and carrots and things after school,
(12:46):
which I think I might do today because it's like suggestive.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
It's like, here's a healthy snack.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
So I do think that the dinner meal time, and
again the dinner meal time doesn't happen on weekends because
they're running around you on their own thing. And I
want that these kids are so over scared and so
oversubscribed and so overactivitied that we took her sports off
the board because it was a tutor, it was a studying,
it was a homework and once in a while you
(13:10):
want to go see your friend and go to her
house after school for homework. And like, I want her
to be free. There was something important that we have
to do that could have been in the summer. I'm like,
I want her to be free. Yes, she could work
and have some discipline, but like, I also want her
to just breathe and free rerange. She's not a kid
who's going to sit home every day in bed and rot.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
She's not.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
She's going to go out and you know, she'll go
to lunch, and she'll go to pilates, and she'll hang
out with me and we'll go on the boat. And
you know, I'm okay with a little bit of free
range parenting. You know, I don't think everything in life
has to be worked.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
I really don't.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
So on the weekends like this weekend, I was like,
just go be with your friends, enjoy your life, because
I do think they are over pressurized way more than
I was a kid in different ways. Everybody's obsessed with
the testing and with the colleges and all this stuff.
And it's good because life is going to be about
work and I get that, but like, I also think
being a child is a beautiful gift and I want
(14:07):
there to be some freedom, and you have to feel
when your kid is like stretched. I've we've had mental
health days, not many in our life, like in our
high school time, but like maybe two maybe three, but
like it's like, no, just stay home tomorrow, like it's enough.
Tonight was extreme. You know, I think you need it.
For me, I just think I think it's important. I
(14:28):
sometimes I a'm like I need to take a minute.
So for me, I think balance is important. These teenagers
are pressurized and it may not come out God forbid,
in something extreme, Like it doesn't have to be drugs
or self harm, like you know, it could be acting out,
it could be making bad decisions. It could be I
don't know, you know, like drinking too much at a party,
like being stressed. So I want sensible choices, reasonable work
(14:54):
life balance for adults and children. Like everybody thinks I'm NonStop.
I think all all the time, and I always have
something going. But like I have a great life and
I have a great balance. I've created an amazing life
where like I'm not doing it if I don't want
to do it. And these people yesterday were like, do
you manifest I'm like, I'll manifest like relationship or just
like things with my daughter. But I'm a manifesting like
(15:16):
work stuff, and they're like, oh, I always want to
be productive and creating, and I'm like, that's amazing. I
don't do that because I feel like I'm this is
all a gift.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
I'm so grateful.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
There are so many opportunities that are about to come
out that I literally am like, what is going on
at this age? And like I said, age is not
a number, it's a fact, but like it's not my identity.
But I also sometimes I'm realistic, so I'm like, I
can't believe I have these opportunities in this age.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
It's insane.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
So yeah, I do say like at this age for
your age, about this, but like I always say, and
I mean it, it's not just a gimmick, like tables
go cold, I'll walk out like Matt if I have
one bad day. But if I'm like, if it's like
I'm expired milk, I'll be tossing it.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
You know, I'm fine with that.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
I'm like asking the universe for more money and boat
trips and fucking Arima's bags. You know, I'm happy. I
like my life, and I would never jeopardize that. I
would never ever jeopardize my happiness and my peace.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Nothing, nothing would make me jeopardize my peace.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
So that's where I am right now, and I manifest
keeping my peace and rest and sleep and balance and
happiness and my daughter being healthy and happy, and that's
kind of it.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Love you guys,
So I was talking to my friend about the college
that her child wants to go to. And I'm really
close to my daughter and I have one child, which
I think does make it different because it would be
like playing favorites if you had four, but I have
one child, and she's so connected to these babies and
the pandemic. We were our quarantine, the babies or the babies,
(00:33):
the furry babies. And she's not going to college somewhere
that's not close to me, So like, judge me, don't
judge me.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I really don't care.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
But if, like she goes to college somewhere, I'm accessible.
For a number of reasons I'm not going to get
into because they're personal, but like, I'm not going to
be far.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
So we are deciding where we're going to college. Now.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
The good news is where she wants to go, I
love and I already am, like to be totally honest,
her grades are amazing. She's very diligent, she's very disciplined.
And the truth is she's smart, but like I didn't
know she was this smart. Like she's smarter than I am,
and she retains information, has the patience more than I do,
(01:16):
and she has amazing grades and she can get into
probably an Ivy League school and I know you have
to apply to like ten, but like she wants to
go to University of Miami, like period the end. I
live in Florida, and you know what, go with God,
Like it's a great school. It's not only that meaning
I'm not one of these people that it's like, oh,
if you can get into Harvard or Stanford, like you
(01:40):
have to go. I'm into where do you want to
be to be happy? Like she likes to be near
the beach. She likes Florida. She likes to be near me.
She likes to be near the babies. Now, if she
wanted to go to Stamford and got in, I'd get
a place in California. If she wanted to go to Pepperdine.
We're not going to school. It's not near beach. So
I love you guys so much and don't change. But
it's sorry, not sorry. I'm part of this decision. You
can hate me. I don't want to go somewhere it's
(02:01):
one hundred and ten degrees, and I don't want to
go somewhere it's twenty five degrees. I want her to
go somewhere like I'm saying I don't want to go.
I would like her to go somewhere where I would
like to spend time or be near, so she has
access to me if she needs me. But the point,
the bigger point I'm making is I'm not one who
cares that deeply about where someone went to school. It's
kind of like a flex and like when I do
(02:22):
meet men, I'm like, oh, he went to Stanford, he
went to Princeton, he went to you know. And then
there's the dope schools that some people go to, and
I do judge it a little bit, But happiness is
paramount to me, not the flex. So when they make
an Ivy League school on the ocean, we'll be applying there,
so I might have to build a school.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
So I've been.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Thinking a lot about people talking about how they don't
drink and there's so much healthier and they look better,
et cetera. But I've also been thinking about the balance
of healthy and happy, Like if I'm going out and
i want to have a drink and I'm not over
serving myself, I'm not pounding drinks in black out and
I'm drinking water, and there's some version of a balance
to it sometimes there's not a balance, like you're having
(03:06):
one to two drinks, but it's often a week, so
you feel like it's too many nights and like you
just don't feel one hundred percent. But if you have
a decent relationship with it and it sort of makes
you happy, you're stay out a little longer, or laugh
a little more, or dance a little more with your friends.
Isn't there a balance to being happy, meaning that you're healthier,
(03:26):
Like if you're laughing more, dancing more, engaging more, being
more social. They literally say that being more social is
going to make you live longer. So if you are
having fun but you are drinking, doesn't it kind of
like balance itself out versus like I'm not drinking, but
I'm going to bed at nine thirty every night, and
I'm kind of not making the same kind of plans
because I'm not drinking, and like dates aren't is fun.
(03:48):
I'm just asking the question. It is also like girl
math where I'm trying to convince myself, but I do
believe it.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I believe that if you push too far and.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Abuse the privilege and balance, then you have to stop
it down and you can't do it. But if you don't,
I believe. I believe balance is key. I believe balance
is key. There are people that exercise and do weights
and I don't. And there are people that get every
single treatment and every single skin thing that I don't,
and like, I feel like I'm doing it right.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
I really do.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
I think sleep is critical and just being happy has
to trump any shot or thing that you could do
that you're told you should do. A couple of things
in news related to kids, there's a big social media
landmark case. A landmark case is like a big sort
of history making, you know, like big tobacco would be
(04:40):
a landmark case. Like there are big Chinese dry wall,
like you know, transvaginal mesh, like these class action, massive
cases that change the world with social media. A mother's
daughter took her own life and the mother is arguing
that it was because of social media. The influence is
the addiction that it's addictive, that kids stay on longer.
(05:03):
I mean, there's a lot of data to prove this,
et cetera. So it's gaining traction and it does make
us think about our kids, and you know what we
do it it's the doom scrolling when you see your kid
just like wakes up in the morning, goes on the
couch and just the scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling late at night,
scrolling scrolling, like it's junk food. It's consuming junk food.
You know, my daughter's learned how to put the hair
(05:24):
and the t shirt curlers, or do the crafts, or
make the food or eat the this, and so I
think there are parts that are good. We've made recipes
as a result of what we've gotten excited for the
cuissant mixed with the cookie for you know, the crafts
she makes, skincare, et cetera.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
But it's had its influence.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
It's made the young girlies go into Sephora at ten
years old. They were making all these smoothies out of
the samples in the store, making a mess, but more importantly,
wanting to buy Charlotte Tilbury and like expensive summer fridays,
anything marketed to them, like they were bunges for anything
marketed to them. It was the bum bump cream and
(06:04):
it was this sola shenio fragrances, and it like goes
in cycles and the companies like Pump Pump, Pump, Pump
Pump get the kids to buy it. But it's not sustainable.
Drunk elephant, the companies can't spend enough to get the
kids hooked on the crack long enough because kids are
onto the next thing. So you see, drunk elephant was
the biggest thing sold. Deghenaro was the biggest thing, all
the biggest things. Like are they going to stay around?
(06:27):
But anyway, the point is, there are lawsuits about makeup
being marketed to kids.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
It's or studies.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
There are studies now and there was something on the
news today about makeup being marketed to young kids and
the damage it causes. Just another thing I wanted to
mention to you is obligation. You hear a lot of
people you're supposed to do the right thing, You're supposed
to show up, You're supposed.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
To do that.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I have to go. I don't want to go, but
I have to go. Now, if it's your children, you'll
usually want to go. You might say that, but like
you're like, I gotta go to but you do want
to go. You're not even thinking about it, So that's
not an obligation, like that's something you want to do.
It might be you'd rather lay in bed than go
to a volleyball tournament. For the weekend, but like your
body wants to go, you want to be there for
(07:10):
your child.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
It's a layered If there are.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Things that you just don't want to do, you're not
supposed to be the person that does the things that
you don't want to do. That's disingenuous. That leads to resentment.
It's not honest. It actually lacks authenticity. It doesn't mean
you're a better person if you're just doing things that
you don't want to do, because often people then will
sort of throw it up to other people or I
(07:34):
did that, or I bought that. I did that, he
didn't do this. That's the silent contract. I hate that
I give gifts to everyone. I don't want anything in return.
Couldn't care less. Don't get me a gift. I didn't
get you something because you just supposed to get me something.
I couldn't care less. I don't like that about anything.
I went to your thing. You can't to my thing
because you wanted to come. If you don't want to
come to my thing, don't come. I'll come to your
thing if I want to come. I don't like that
(07:56):
kind of manipulation and shackling and bullshit. Frankly, someone said
to me yesterday, be with the person that makes you
(08:18):
feel the most comfortable. I thought that was so interesting.
I don't know if that's accurate completely. It makes some sense,
but the person makes you feel the most comfortable. It
is true with some people the comfort is there when
you're together, and some people the communication styles really get
jammed up. Like someone could reach out or connect with
(08:38):
you regularly, but it almost feels like a pen pal.
It feels like a bread crumb. It feels like someone's
lobbing in a call versus a good volley back and forth. Yeah,
once in a while where you don't feel insecure, you
text them. It doesn't matter when they text you. If
it's the wrong dynamic. You're sort of texting because they
text it, or because you should text her versus just
like texting anytime you don't look at who texted last.
(08:59):
You don't care if you texted in a row. Like
that's a communication cadence. Communication cadence is huge, and it's
usually indicative of normal dating cadence. And anytime I've had
a little bit of a bump up against the cadence,
like it's not in a court of law, the person
checked in. The person said they are, you know, miss
you or they want to see you or whatever they
(09:19):
said the right thing at whenever.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
It's just like when you're like, wait, that was weird.
He didn't text me back. That was weird.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
I didn't hear back, Like should I text? If something's
going on in your head, the communication cadence is off,
and I don't like that, And it affects the physical
cadence because if the communication cadence when you're not together
is off, you pull back a little and you kind
of have to start over when you physically see each
other again, and if it's on, you pick up right
you left off.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
And also, if you go too.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Long between seeing someone, you will lose interest and get distracted.
Absence does not make the heart refonder in dating unless
you're super insecure and you've latched and slept with the
person and just want to get them just for the
sake of getting them, capture them, and you're you know,
But if you don't see a person and get something
on the board, you do lose interest and people do
(10:07):
not play it right. You got to keep the ball.
The volley has to keep going, otherwise the ball drops.
So talking about like family values. I have to say,
until you're a parent of a child at a certain age,
you don't realize how important the meal time is. Because
if you really think about how many meals you get
with your kids, like with my daughter, I want to
make sure she's eating a healthy breakfast, but like she's
(10:29):
running out the door and I'm still groggy when she's leaving,
like and she also doesn't want to talk to me,
look at me. She's got to put her fragrance on
bomb her room, and so you know, you know, it's
not like the movies, like every day she sits down,
we're making eggs and bacon. Like it doesn't happen like that.
Even if I like got up at six o'clock in
the morning and started like soaking oats, She's not sitting
down for it. She wants to take her time, do
(10:51):
her hair and have as much time in bed. There's
no breakfast time like the fucking you know, leave it
to beaver. So my new move now is to like
leave out good components, Like I'll leave out like yogurt, fruit,
some good granola, like so she could like put it together,
because you know, people need like suggestive food. Teenagers especially
(11:13):
so like even if it's nights that I go out
to do my own thing, or I'm going out for
work dinner, or I have a date or something, nine
times out of ten I sit down with her to
eat without me eating, and then I go. But if
I had to be out, I would make sure like
there was some grilled chicken there and some rice in
the fridge with a separate steam broccoli so she could
just like put it together.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
And eat it.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
And I do feel like the meal time is super important,
and I've loved the way it's brought us together because
it's just something that, like, I don't know, it feels wholesome.
It feels nice that every night my daughter doesn't go
out on weeknights, she's very into schoolwork and she's very disciplined.
I mean, such a rare exception, it shouldn't even be mentioned.
And another rare exception is she'll say, do you want
to like go get something like quick, Like it's like
(11:54):
like one of those bowl places are like a salad place.
That would be like one time in three weeks, maybe
one time in a week, she'll say, do you want
to order in? I don't love ordering in because it's
a bunch of fucking slop and a mess. And I
just don't like leftover containers and it's just like you
might as well have cooked at that point.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
It's like slop.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
So I like to cook and different versions of cooking.
It's not every night like it's like cocko VN. Like
tonight I bought a roast chicken, which I'm not roasting
a chicken all day because it's gonna taste just as good.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
But then I'll make good sides, et cetera.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
But I like when she comes home and like she
sees me in the kitchen and we're just like talking
about it. And every night we just have landed on
six o'clock and I like the sit down and like
that's when we do really talk about things and the
phone should be away, aside from when I take a
picture for you nosy bitches to show you what I made.
But like it is important because we don't get lunch.
They're at school for lunch. You know. When she was younger,
I'd put out like hummus and carrots and things after school,
(12:46):
which I think I might do today because it's like suggestive.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
It's like, here's a healthy snack.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
So I do think that the dinner meal time, and
again the dinner meal time doesn't happen on weekends because
they're running around you on their own thing. And I
want that these kids are so over scared and so
oversubscribed and so overactivitied that we took her sports off
the board because it was a tutor, it was a studying,
it was a homework and once in a while you
(13:10):
want to go see your friend and go to her
house after school for homework. And like, I want her
to be free. There was something important that we have
to do that could have been in the summer. I'm like,
I want her to be free. Yes, she could work
and have some discipline, but like, I also want her
to just breathe and free rerange. She's not a kid
who's going to sit home every day in bed and rot.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
She's not.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
She's going to go out and you know, she'll go
to lunch, and she'll go to pilates, and she'll hang
out with me and we'll go on the boat. And
you know, I'm okay with a little bit of free
range parenting. You know, I don't think everything in life
has to be worked.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
I really don't.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
So on the weekends like this weekend, I was like,
just go be with your friends, enjoy your life, because
I do think they are over pressurized way more than
I was a kid in different ways. Everybody's obsessed with
the testing and with the colleges and all this stuff.
And it's good because life is going to be about
work and I get that, but like, I also think
being a child is a beautiful gift and I want
(14:07):
there to be some freedom, and you have to feel
when your kid is like stretched. I've we've had mental
health days, not many in our life, like in our
high school time, but like maybe two maybe three, but
like it's like, no, just stay home tomorrow, like it's enough.
Tonight was extreme. You know, I think you need it.
For me, I just think I think it's important. I
(14:28):
sometimes I a'm like I need to take a minute.
So for me, I think balance is important. These teenagers
are pressurized and it may not come out God forbid,
in something extreme, Like it doesn't have to be drugs
or self harm, like you know, it could be acting out,
it could be making bad decisions. It could be I
don't know, you know, like drinking too much at a party,
like being stressed. So I want sensible choices, reasonable work
(14:54):
life balance for adults and children. Like everybody thinks I'm NonStop.
I think all all the time, and I always have
something going. But like I have a great life and
I have a great balance. I've created an amazing life
where like I'm not doing it if I don't want
to do it. And these people yesterday were like, do
you manifest I'm like, I'll manifest like relationship or just
like things with my daughter. But I'm a manifesting like
(15:16):
work stuff, and they're like, oh, I always want to
be productive and creating, and I'm like, that's amazing. I
don't do that because I feel like I'm this is
all a gift.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
I'm so grateful.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
There are so many opportunities that are about to come
out that I literally am like, what is going on
at this age? And like I said, age is not
a number, it's a fact, but like it's not my identity.
But I also sometimes I'm realistic, so I'm like, I
can't believe I have these opportunities in this age.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
It's insane.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
So yeah, I do say like at this age for
your age, about this, but like I always say, and
I mean it, it's not just a gimmick, like tables
go cold, I'll walk out like Matt if I have
one bad day. But if I'm like, if it's like
I'm expired milk, I'll be tossing it.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
You know, I'm fine with that.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
I'm like asking the universe for more money and boat
trips and fucking Arima's bags. You know, I'm happy. I
like my life, and I would never jeopardize that. I
would never ever jeopardize my happiness and my peace.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Nothing, nothing would make me jeopardize my peace.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
So that's where I am right now, and I manifest
keeping my peace and rest and sleep and balance and
happiness and my daughter being healthy and happy, and that's
kind of it.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Love you guys,
Host
Bethenny Frankel
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