"Animal Style" (w/ Caleb Hearon)

The sisters must rejoice as we have been joined by none other than Caleb Hearon. And he has somethings to say to us! It's been a long time coming so strap in - the devil does in fact wear Prada and she's come back around. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Look mare, oh, I see you my own look over
there is that culture.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Yes, goodness loves cult.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Ding dum culture. We're talking nails on both the hands
and feet. We're talking panicures, manicures, yep, the hang ups
that go into scheduling them.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
So I I go like mine, my nails become like pika.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
Is that what it is?

Speaker 2 (00:31):
Just it starts to flake like I peel layer by
layer of keratin.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
I guess what we're all saying is we're nail biers
here this community.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
I've since been reformed. I've since reformed.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
They look amazing. I have to say, no, I don't
know about that. They look great. And that's that you
have such a nice jewelry. You want people to notice
it clearly. So when everyone looks at your fingers, it's
like they better be together.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Those little cute Sure, sure, but you are. You're chronic
with it. You are a chronic.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
That is how my anxiety managed. That's right. You know.
When I was a little boy, I was flexible enough
to put my toe in my toenail in my mouth,
and then my mother saw me saw me doing it
one time, I was like seven or eight, and she
was she sat me down like I had like done
something really wrong, and she was like, I want to
talk to you about what it is you've been doing.
Was the fetish born or killed in that moment? I

(01:23):
guess killed because she it was like it was really serious.
It was like I really want to talk to you
about your behavior. It's like I had been doing drugs
or something like. This has to stop. You have to
stop putting your foot in your mouth and biting off
the toe. Now, don't worry. I don't do it anymore.
I can't, only because I can't get it up there.
We were talking to our guest. I bet you could,

(01:47):
all right. We were talking as to our visual medium
can not put his own foot in his mouth. This
is what it's all that he can. Where our guest is.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
The habit is returning is as he's saying, because he's
billion with a stressful sort of.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
He's in a stressful situation where nails get bitten.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yeah, I I'm not. Oh my god. Oh he's wearing
ugs and a matching am.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
I supposed to be talking? Hold on, we're talking talking
fifteen seconds. Our guest is wearing ugs, and it's that's
not all he's contributing that's not true. So true, so true.
You already know you know what you love it it is.
It is the.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Current sort of current fucking raining, the current fucking.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
Raining model comedian on HBO Max, which I did have
the double check. It is back to being HBO Max.
Just going forward, we all know it's back to HBO Max.
It's it's not HBO, it's not Max, or it is
HBO but then it's not Max, it's HBO.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
It's Valerie cherishes HBO Max. And uh, he's in this
movie that is coming out soon called The Devil Wears
Pradact Too.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
Two. There's a sweak will, this squeak will that actually
is the sheek Wuel. If there's any qu's, it's Devil
wors Prova too.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
Absolutely you're in the shee Quel.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
How does that feel? Okay, let's bring him in. This
is our good friend. Everybody, please we'll kill then our
listeners have been begging again for all they want to hear,
is you not us? We guys refuse to have me on.
That's not really see this is and this is a
bit on your pod. Do you let let's unpack.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
I think you, I think you you were talking with
someone about a.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
Bit about me coming on. Yeah, like we never invited you.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
Oh that's really funny. I mean, you guys been avoiding me,
like the plague.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
What do you feel this is true? I honestly I
feel that what it was was there was an era
where we were kind of doing guests, not like on
the Zoom, and I was like, this has to be
an in person thing. I don't do. I really want.
I hate the Zoom Pod. You've done it right the
whole time.

Speaker 3 (03:55):
I won't do it. I won't do it for mine.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
It scares me. Do you guys? Did you guys? Because
I hate it.

Speaker 3 (03:59):
I feel like I'm not being charming. I feel like
I'm doing a really bad job. I just can't connect.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
Zoom based on the example the cases, the cases that
you've the data points that you've collected thus far, which
is what like a handful of times.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
When I did them, because when we did when I
had my showkeeping records with Shelby will see back back
in the day, back forever ago, I we would do
Zoom episodes. Well, we really did Doom episodes because both
of our dads dit unexpectedly, so we had to be
in different parts of the country so blestly maybe it
was like profound grief that maybe it was like us
both being in psychotic grief that I really I do
not feel that.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
I did a good job on the Zoom episode.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
I just hate you were psychotically grieving.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
Chotic grief and also the lag. Yeah, yeah, I hate
like because also with the zoom of it all. It's
especially like during the pandemic when we started, it was like, Okay,
here's like a pretty big guess that we've booked. But
of course they're never going to see us in person
at that time, so they got on zoom and having
a lag with like someone that you're trying to and like,

(04:55):
you know, impress or that you respect.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
Yeah, you can't have a lag with camand oh you
can't have a lag camera now, I can't do it.
We can't ask us a question I've never gotten to
ask you is this? And I am curious about it. And
it's obviously okay if you don't want to talk and
we can cut.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
No, this is we're not cutting. Have you look, I'm
just gonna ask. Okay, don't be afraid.

Speaker 3 (05:13):
You guys are so cute together. Was there ever a moment?

Speaker 1 (05:18):
Was there ever a moment that we romantically sexually and more.

Speaker 3 (05:21):
Or considered even was there ever a moment.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
No, it's it would be like siblings totally totally, you
know what, you know, that feeling totally. It's like if
you and Shelby were too.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
It's a little different, right as siblings and grief a
little different. Okay. I was just checking because I just
wonder like a like a in like a way where
it's like any two gay guys, you know what I mean,
It's sort of like any two gay guys are like huh.
It's like, of course it runs through your mind, but
then quickly relationship becomes what it is. Yeah, but I

(05:51):
do think it's that thing of like, so we're working
on something together and I was talking to one of
our collaborators on it, and it floated through my mind,
like should our characters have like a thing that they
And then our friend was like, well, the thing is
like with you guys in a show that's about two
gay guys, it's like if they don't kiss, you kind

(06:12):
of have to say why. Ah. And I was like
thinking about what the why was, and I'm like, oh,
the why is like platonic friendship, but then once you
get on that track, it's like, well, is it more
interesting to explore it because of that? Is that the
surprising thing? So what I'm saying is, Bowen, It's something
I wanted to tell you for years, just kidding.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
Can you imagine that would be so awesome if you
guys have any big reveals that you've been waiting to
do and you wanted to do it in the episode
where I'm here, I would really love that.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
Oh, this is gonna do numbers no matter what. We
don't need to do a big review. We're going to
say that for like a clunker.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
Imagine we needed like a sweeps episode of the podcast.
It was like, it's like Matt and Bowen getting engaged
on lost culture. Is that's just like when there's like
a lion loose in Wasteria Lane. I would love that.
I would love to be part of that. Yeah, we
can officiate when it happens. You guys should for a
stunt for an.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
Absolutely people have done it. Wait, what's your Can you
tell everybody what your nail journey is?

Speaker 1 (07:06):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (07:07):
My nail journey? Yes, of course, I'm so sorry. I
will get off track a lot during this. My my
nail journey. Is that okay? So I kicked during COVID.
I kicked two habits well around COVID. Yeah, nail biting.
I was a horrific nail bier. Would bite shit down
to the nubs, bleeding, bleeding, crazy style. We're doing that,
and then we're talking it's giving number giving NU and
then my fear of death. I really got over hypochondria. Hypochondria,

(07:29):
fear of death was wrapped up in one thing. Really
kicked that. I was like, that's probably just gonna happen
to me someday, I make Probably I'm not, but it
feels like it probably.

Speaker 1 (07:38):
So I kicked those but yeah, I'm back.

Speaker 3 (07:39):
Just like last week, I started, uh picking at my
nails again, and it's it's crazy.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
How did you kick it to begin with? Picking and biting? Yeah? Yeah,
picking and biting. I just stopped. Whoa, I just stopped.
I was like, no more.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
I had to be really mean to myself for a minute.
But then I was able to be sweet to myself.
But I had to be mean at first. Every time
I would pick up the finger, I'd be like, Daniel.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
Yeah, Daniel, put it away, because here's the thing. They
are filthy. They shouldn't be in there. No, they shouldn't
be in there. And I'll tell you what I don't
love is the the sort of casual way a mother
will just watch her toddler pick something off the ground
and put it in their mouth.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
I guess at a certain point exhausted.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
Yeah, because the mother.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
Don't the babies need it, because they need the ger yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
Yeah, you don't want them to have no germs, right right, certainly.
It's not a judgment all the moms out there. It's
just it's shocks me when I see something on the
ground that then goes in the baby's mouth. Yeah, totally.
But I'm a nail biter lifelong.

Speaker 3 (08:41):
How often are you guys eating something off the floor?

Speaker 2 (08:45):
It I ate my luxeper off the floor the other day.
Which one is that exclamored? That's as a talipram, that's
s sr. I So I just fell on the bathroom floor.
Terrible place to fall. And I and yet and I
feel and every time I every time I take something
off the floor five second rule, I'm like, well didn't
they do a MythBusters on how that is absolute garbage?

(09:07):
Like it's not real? Like the five second rule is like,
it's it's dirty. Put that away on your bathroom floor.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
Bowen. It's really bad at Bowen's house because he's constantly
missing the toilet bowl. Bowen. It's like a hose. Wait
what it's like. It's like it's like in those crazy
movies where like you open it and it's like whoa,
that's like Bowen in the bathroom because it was a
big and conda don't sorry, God, what zone of the

(09:35):
bathroom forted to fall in? Uh?

Speaker 2 (09:37):
Pretty close to the bowl, yeah, Bowen?

Speaker 1 (09:39):
Pretty close.

Speaker 3 (09:40):
Oh my gosh, this actually is deeply good for me
to hear, because that's the kind of thing I would
do but be ashamed to talk about. And you're standing
in bravery right now in a way that actually will
move many in the community.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
Can I can? I can?

Speaker 2 (09:51):
I really get vulnerable here? I feel I feel good
with everybody in the room. Okay, m Just if anyone
were to witness me digging in my nostrils for shit,
I would be dead. I would I would move planets,
I would go away, I would leave this earth.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
I don't even have a lot of shame about it.
I'm in my nose.

Speaker 3 (10:14):
Can I tell you something I take a step further,
please and be vulnerable. I feel comfortable with everyone but
one person in this and I'm not gonna say who.
And you brought them here, but Michelle, it's my assistant's No.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
I'm in my nose obviously crazy style. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:33):
And not only would I be embarrassed for someone to
see me in the nose, I'd be embarrassed for them
to see what I sometimes find.

Speaker 1 (10:38):
Yeah, because let me tell you something. You're in your
nose crazy style, and what's in there is.

Speaker 3 (10:44):
Do you ever feel your nose like this and be like, oh,
there's something really in there and you get in there
and what you pull out is like pretty long and hardy.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
Has that happened to anyone? I think we all have a nose,
and we'd all be crazy, ridiculous fools to say we
haven't dug in there and found something crazy style animal style.

Speaker 3 (11:03):
You ever just sit you ever just sitting somewhere and
you feel something, You feel something hit your shirt and
you realize, you realize it's you realize a little bit
of ear waxes falling out.

Speaker 1 (11:11):
Of Never had that happen, because well, it's really gross.

Speaker 3 (11:14):
A lot a bunch of people just shook their head no.
So obviously I'm pretty suicide. I don't know, shook his
head no so violently that it was borderline judgmental. Not
so bad that sucked. People in the comments say, if
you've had ear wax fall out and you felt the
way to it hit your shirt.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Idly, negotiate you off the ledge because I to deal
with ear stuff. It happens like you ever take your
AirPods out, that's like it's like, oh, that's covered in
the stuff.

Speaker 3 (11:40):
That was like the glamorous girl version of what I
was talking about. If people were being really honest with themselves,
sometimes a little chunk falls out and I might have
to get up on the cross for all of us,
But like yours was so normal and I should never
be ashamed of that.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
And also to be fair, like you do shove those
AirPods in there, you shove them in. But I want
to know more about earwax if you're willing to share totally.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
So there have been a couple of times in my life.
It's not zero, it's probably not north of twenty. It's
probably somewhere in the zero to twenty range. I would
say plus like definitely north of five south of twenty.
I have been sitting somewhere. I have felt a mass
leave my ear.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
It's while you're sitting down, usually totally.

Speaker 3 (12:18):
There's been some sort of shift movement, ruffle.

Speaker 1 (12:19):
Shuffle, yep, I feel a mass.

Speaker 3 (12:23):
Something with weight has to leave my ear and fall
on my person. I feel the weight of it hit
my body, not unlike a punch landing on my body. Yeah,
and low and behold. I look down and yes, it's
a little glob of ear wax.

Speaker 1 (12:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:37):
All that to say, I want to ground everybody in
the fact that I am human and I have a
body that produces things like your wax.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
I'm not here to please believe me when I say this.
I am jealous. Do you mean it's my ear wax
gets logged, gets loed? It doesn't. I wish it clumped,
and I'm sorry, Is that an okay? Where to say clumped?
I wish it clumps. I wish I had nuggets of earwax.
I have a disgusting thin film that stays there and

(13:09):
will sediment into its own layer, fuse with my skin
and my and the rest of my germis for the
rest of my life.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
I was gonna say, I think I'd rather be like
Caleb and having it fall out, because at least then
there's the relief of knowing that that said mass is
no longer in your body. Then go through what I
know my sister goes through, which is to have sort
of blockage, because that becomes ear infection, and that's the
worst thing that could ever happen to a human, her having.

Speaker 3 (13:37):
No ability to defend herself or step in, and just
you being like, she has blockage, she's in trouble time
on me. Yeah, yeah, wait, no, I thought you met
your actual sister. I thought you were bringing up a
biological sister who was nowhere in the room. And I
was like, that's insane and I'm completely addicted.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah, I mean I would then call her my biosister.
You're my sister, she's my biosister. It's making it seem
really fucked up on.

Speaker 2 (14:00):
Ask can I speaking of bio which I thought was
a term that we like, didn't really this is a
prefix that we don't really use anymore apparently people. So
I was, I was out yesterday with my friend Ian
and we were at this place and then these two
pups come in, two guys and like it was it
was like a little fun like daytime sort of like

(14:20):
party thing, like out of space. Two pups come in, guys,
guys in their in their pup outfits.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
How pupped are they just the head? Are they doing
the whole?

Speaker 2 (14:27):
And torso all like belped up, all up, all popped
up above the waves, popped up from the waist up,
popped up with waste from the waist up.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
Kind of gives like a lyric pupped up the waves.
Actually it's very algo so, and I might be totally
butchering this. Please, I hope this makes it two threads
and they have a lively spirited debate about this. They will,
but I'm sorry, I'm crying, Okay, so how I cry?

Speaker 2 (15:03):
So Apparently they people in the pop community community call
like canines bio dogs. I'm not sure about bio dogs. So,
because you're just gonna have to like it just begs
to have the terminology changed five years from now, because

(15:26):
it's like what we used to We used to call
like a fab queens, bio queens a drag right, and
now it's like, no, that's an a fab queen great
or that's just a drag queen. No need to like
if you want to get tunnel like in funnel down
and to drill down into like the oh that's a
fab person dressing up in female drag.

Speaker 1 (15:42):
Grace is a piece of information there.

Speaker 3 (15:44):
Every once in a while, a piece of information about
our community makes its way to my doorstep that asks me,
how progressive are you?

Speaker 1 (15:51):
What are your values? Really? How do you feel about biodogs?

Speaker 3 (15:55):
This is a moment where I have to ask questions
of myself and I'm not I don't have no.

Speaker 2 (15:58):
We're not gonna answer them here. And I again might
totally have butchered that. Yeah, And I'm not gonna say
who told me it was the end?

Speaker 1 (16:04):
But it ended it? But I did.

Speaker 2 (16:10):
I'm with you, I'm with you. I'm like, wow, I
don't know, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah, And I.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
Don't want because I feel like it's a dog. It's
like a right wing dog list, like keep that ship
in the bedroom. But I am like, but I don't
know how much of that should should?

Speaker 1 (16:24):
Should? You know? Cross the threshold?

Speaker 3 (16:26):
It's a great question. There are I do think there
are things like, look, gay guys, I love us anyways,
I have questions about us so many ways. Always there
are things that we do and say and no that
we're only meant for us. I think that once it
breaks containment, I do fear that.

Speaker 1 (16:40):
I don't fear. I don't feel that straight people can
fully understand what's going on with us.

Speaker 3 (16:43):
Sometimes and so sometimes straight people learn about a thing,
particularly conservative people, they learn about like a very niche
gay thing, and I'm like, you, baby, you were never
supposed to know about that.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
I'm so sorry. And also it's like, I, okay, I'm
gonna I'm gonna go here because you went there, I'm
gonna go here. I'm vulnerable today. I do believe there
should be separation between the straight and gay communities because
I don't need to mix with them. I find their
morals really in the gutter. I think they're all cheating
on each other. I think all straight people are liars.
I've never met a straight woman that isn't cheating on

(17:13):
her husband with someone she just met on vacation. We're
looking at the women that you all cheated on. I
know you all cheated on your partners on a vacation
with your girlfriends, and that's why you want to go
back to Antigua. That's the only reason why. Because people
are cheating people? Are they are lying? You guys? I okay.

Speaker 3 (17:36):
Friend of a friend, Wow, this is juicy. Friend of
a friend. She woman, her husband mega dickhead like military, asshole,
bio man, bio man, bio man, mean, conservative, homophobic, all
the bad things you can think of. This guy sucks.
He's the worst. It was revealed to me recently at
a lunch. No less is the best place to get Yeah. Absolutely,

(17:57):
dinner starts to feel a little. It's like, oh, it's night.
We're being kind of a lunch is like we're walking
in the life of honey.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
It's lunchtime right now. I think my lunch has been served.
What do you want?

Speaker 3 (18:08):
Wife cheating on military husband with a man ten years
younger than her. It's not agent appropriate. By the way,
It's all good. They're they're all in their thirty twties
cheating on a man ten years younger, and a lot
cheating a lot, cheating, regularly, carrying on a very explicit affair,
waiting until the kid leaves high school to leave him.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
To be with the other man, planning to cheat. That's
a whole other world of it, which is cheap. But
how long can she keep the plan under wraps.

Speaker 3 (18:35):
Oh, I don't think he's very bright. Okay, yeah, I
think she could really do. And women are very cunning.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
Use women are very cunning. They think they're very smart.
On vacation and you know, one time I was actually
one time, this was recent, I was talking to a
straight woman and she was confiding, she felt she was
confiding in like her gaze, that she had cheated on
her new husband with one she met on vacation. And

(19:01):
I'm listening to her, and it took everything in me
to not be like, you know what I hope is happening.
I hope your husband is cheating on you. Do you
hope that if you are cheating on your husband gleefully
and like getting away for it, Yeah, I hope he's
cheating on you too. That's mutual cheating.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
I would hope that someone isn't just getting coucked up
so pucked up from the cup, tucked up from the
waist up, cupped up from the tuck top from the
waist up.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
Would you would you could be an amazing rapper?

Speaker 1 (19:30):
Oh, I have it.

Speaker 3 (19:31):
Within me, certainly, I definitely have it within me, I think.
But I was thinking just now, vacation is such a
vacation is really what you make of.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
It can be cheating, it can be relaxing, It can
be museums.

Speaker 3 (19:41):
It can me relaxing, so many things vacation, it.

Speaker 1 (19:45):
Can be wait that has your really coach number fifteen.
It can be so many things. Vacation. It can be cheating,
it can be relaxing, it can be museums. It's actually
a really good one.

Speaker 3 (19:55):
Those are like the three vacations, cheating, relaxing, museums.

Speaker 1 (19:58):
Yeah, you can break them all down until like so
many different activities.

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Speaker 2 (21:29):
I thought you said it was proven by science.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
I never said that. I just said it was good.

Speaker 3 (21:34):
Are you an itinerary vacationer or are you a cheater?

Speaker 1 (21:36):
I'm a shoh, that's the binary. Well, I was an experimenting.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
I don't love an itinerary. Even though the last trip
I took friends on was very was mostly itinerary driven.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
But actually no, there was.

Speaker 2 (21:47):
There was moments of loose, unstructured time. Matt pertinent to
you and your story. Matt is a newly white guy
who loves Asian culture.

Speaker 1 (21:56):
I've been to Asia like pretty much more than America
this year.

Speaker 3 (22:00):
Are you wearing kimonos yet, because that's where it usually
ends up.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
Do you have swords in the house. Here's what I'll say.
I learned how to dress myself in the hotel, last
hotel that we stayed in, and the outfit that they.

Speaker 2 (22:12):
Go, oh, yes, yes, that was called it was it was.
It was like a modern uh to Tommy, sort of
like Riocan sort of thing.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
Yes. And when I stepped out in the garb and
I saw myself in the mirror, yes, I said, I
belong here. Wow. And that's why I'm having what I'm calling.
I called it to you my big Asian year, Big
Asian year, a bay it can be a very Asian
year for you, and I think.

Speaker 3 (22:37):
Yeah, a lot of white guys who go down the
path of being obsessed with Asia. I'm obsessed with these guys.
Most of them have never been. That's one part of
the issue. It gets into Samurai swords pretty quickly. It
gets into kimonos pretty quickly.

Speaker 1 (22:48):
It won't get there for what it usually gets.

Speaker 3 (22:50):
Into an ironic facial hair. And right now you're facial
is looking very handsome and normal.

Speaker 1 (22:54):
This is kind of where I stay. Yes, yeah, I
don't think I'll go somewhere crazy. You guys both look great.
Thank you. I have to say thank you very much.
And I was, I was just admiring these frames. Thank
you very much. These new frames are these sort of
signature frames.

Speaker 3 (23:06):
I want to tell you I've been wearing these for
a decade plus.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
Yes, these are then, these are the ones. Thank you,
And it's seeing them in person that really is the
high impact.

Speaker 3 (23:14):
You guys are special. You guys are special. You guys
are special guys. I like seeing you on this little couch.
I like being in the room with you.

Speaker 1 (23:20):
Really, and that's why we have to do it again.

Speaker 3 (23:22):
I see you so often in my phone, but to
see you, to see you guys, this is nice.

Speaker 1 (23:28):
It's really nice. Can we just take a moment to
say this is nice? This isn't nice? We need to
go to dinner. It's like a jacuzzi being here. Hello, Hello,
I have to say that one thing about where I
was just at, which is pouquette, right, you don't even
need a hot tub. Yeah, it feels like a bath
wherever you go. Is that true? Well, I guess, how

(23:50):
do you mean? I just I guess. I guess I
went there at the perfect time because and I'll tell
you something and let me let me ask you this question.
Is it possible that there's more salt in the water
in the seawater there? I felt so amazing. I literally
I realized. I realized that seawater really does heal. Ocean

(24:10):
water heels. What happened to you over there? Do you
guys feel me anyway? Ocean? I have the most incredible
vacation in Puquet and went in the ocean, and I
literally left being like, okay, note to self, you have
to go in the ocean.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
Yes, So this is the thing, Like this is so
well observed by the way, this whole like white guy
into Asian culture thing, Like I've really thought about this
ever since, like just whenever you bring it up, because
it's like there's different, so many different ways to be
white guy into Asian culture. You can be like the
Hassan Piker thing where he goes to China and now
he's like China Max to the guys. Whe though, oh sure,
we'll take that out, but you.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
Know what I mean, I can't leave it in from him. Hassan,
are you white or what? Okay?

Speaker 2 (24:54):
Can I say we're saying white guy into Asian culture,
but it is it literally can apply to me.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
Oh I go.

Speaker 2 (25:01):
I'm like one of these like weeby guys who like
goes to Japan and loves that. I go to China
and I love it. I go to like I have
not been south of China crazily or north of Australia,
north of five South.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
Well, you loved parts of China.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
I loved parts of China. No, Actually, this this past summer,
I was like, I see it all.

Speaker 1 (25:18):
You see all of China. I not see it all.

Speaker 2 (25:20):
I see I see that. I see the the gamut
of what.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
This can be. And it's pretty crazy. You described your
experience at Disney Shanghai as not being great.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
Because the kids are shooting on the street, are shooting
on the side.

Speaker 1 (25:32):
That kids are shooting on the side of that, because.

Speaker 2 (25:34):
That's Chinese culture. It's like they're from the countryside where
it's like you just the kids are the kids squat,
there's a little pocket. There's a little like clip on
thing at the butt, and then they just they just
squat and they should on the.

Speaker 1 (25:45):
There's a clip on thing on the button. They shoot
in the park, it's a little square.

Speaker 2 (25:47):
The flap, it's a flap on the butt on the ground.

Speaker 1 (25:51):
That's what I meant. I thought there was something receptacle
to capture them. It's just going straight to the of
the sort. That's Chinese. Not digging it. I hope that's
okay to say, not digging it. It's no, no, there's
nothing to do. I don't know. You don't know. There's
no there's no like you can clutch your pearls. Meanwhile,
in Pouquette, you want any any person that you talk
to there, any woman that you talk to there, sometimes

(26:11):
they'll just come up and they'll go CA, and that
means that means like thank you, like and like yeah, yeah,
I just love Car. I love And then so when
when you're like a feminine woman, you go car and
then the men go cup. Well it's more clipped.

Speaker 3 (26:30):
And there's a lot to be said about that, by
the way, if we want to dig into it, when
i'm abroad, people mostly say to me move or or
get out of the way, and do you I try
my best, but those places are so small.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
Yeah, that's the thing.

Speaker 3 (26:43):
You go to another country. They're not used to seeing
a guy like me, so they're very, very interested in
me getting out of the way, and I share that
interest with them.

Speaker 1 (26:49):
I don't want to be in the way. It's one
of my reast favorite things to be. Who wants to
be in the way? Oh, I hate being in the way. Well,
have attention to Some people love being in the way.

Speaker 3 (26:56):
Well, they're addicted to it. Some people don't know how
to not be in the way.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
There's being in the way and being on display. And
I'll pick the ladder and that is my housewife's tag life.

Speaker 3 (27:04):
Hello that thank you. That was really really beautiful and powerful.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
Thank you. I didn't know I had that in me
until just there. I knew that you had it with you.
I guess I should have more self belief.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
I knew that you had it within you the whole time.
I never dibted it for a second. How long have
you guys been doing the show?

Speaker 1 (27:20):
Ten? We just did ten yearself, this actually is we're
very much in the midst of our ten years, and
also our five hundredth episode was we were supposed to
do like a big like showcase episode for it, like
we were going to do the five hundred best Things
in culture stupid list, and we've totally missed it.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
And now I don't think we can. We're well over
five hundred time. Literally, who's the time to do a podcast?

Speaker 1 (27:42):
I don't know. I certainly do, but I don't know
how you guys, No, no, no, no, you don't. I'll say
when you when I have. There have been times that
you guys.

Speaker 3 (27:50):
Have put out this podcast that I have said, surely
someone's gonna step in soon, Like you guys are so
busy that I'm going, there's no way this is happening. Still,
it seems like it's so hard. I don't know how
you guys do it with two people.

Speaker 1 (28:01):
And you know what's funny, Like we thought, like, oh,
Bowen's left Ustin now and now the podcast can like
be something like that, like we'll do it afresh every
week and it can always be topical, and it hasn't.
It hasn't been able to be that. Yeah, banking is
the name of the game. Banking is kind of has
to be the name of the game.

Speaker 2 (28:14):
Any tricks for you when you bank, Like, don't talk
about it, don't talk about the kickcat robbery that just happened.

Speaker 3 (28:20):
I'm always well, people are always trying to bring up the
kick cat robbery and I hate that.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
Now, just like just chit chatting, Like.

Speaker 3 (28:25):
I feel like I'm so lucky because it's just me
and a guest and so it's just my schedule to
mostly worry about. I mean, Nicole who engineers the show,
and Chance who produces it, like there's two. But mostly
I just get to ask questions. I just throw questions
out and then I go, that was so interesting what
you said.

Speaker 1 (28:40):
I have found the last few like big discourses that
have happened, I have had like really what seemed like
really unpopular opinions, like for example, the Timothy Shalomye stuff
with the ballet and the opera. I think people were
being insane about that.

Speaker 3 (28:53):
People are being completely insane because they're a little tired
of him.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
Yeah, that that's not fair, And that was really what
it was about the chapel roone of it all. I
couldn't believe that we just took what this one person
like put on their Instagram as total fact, as total Bible,
and kicked her ass again on social media, only for
the security guard to come out and be like, guys,
she never asked me to do that. I work at

(29:16):
the hotel. I thought there was a problem, so I
went over there. She did not.

Speaker 3 (29:20):
They have a particular problem with Chapel. It's so to me,
it's so funny because every Chapel discourse is like she
will literally be like she will literally be like, hey, guys,
please just like, don't chase me down the street. I'm
going to dinner, right, And then the whole it will
be like you stupid, ungrateful.

Speaker 1 (29:33):
Yeah, how dare you? You dumb ungrateful bit you We
are gonna take you down. Don't come to Rio. You
banned from this, I disinvited from our great It's like contard.
It's really crazy.

Speaker 3 (29:46):
And also, Chapel is a Missouri girl, and I have
to tell you this was never supposed to.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
Happen to us, this poor girl.

Speaker 3 (29:52):
I'm like this, it's just so I might give that
girl a break, give her a break.

Speaker 1 (29:56):
I have been saying it the entire time, and I'm
just like, but because do you want to know what else.
It's so boring, Like all of these things are just
so boring.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
How should we treat Missouri celebrities? You Chapel, Nikki Glazer,
John Ham.

Speaker 1 (30:13):
You know NICKI still lives in Missouri. Yeah, I love Yeah,
I love about Nicky moved back to Saint Louis.

Speaker 3 (30:18):
You know what the way you should treat us is.
I think I get pretty lucky. Everyone's pretty nice to me.
I think most. I mean, it's gotten a little weird recently,
but most of the time I think people are very like, hey, sorry,
I love your stuff, blah blah, and then they run away.
I love that and I'm happy to take a picture
or whatever. But I think just like what I mean
by that is like, I don't know, it would be
pretty jarring. A lot of these people who get famous,

(30:39):
like they did have some kind of preparation they had
they grew up with money, or they went to like
a big fancy school, or they like they they were
around rich people at some point in their life. Like
when you really come from like rural ass Missouri and
this shit just happens to you, totally cool, awesome, privileged life.
Wouldn't trade it, But it is, like I really feel
for Chapel. I'm like, that is a fun, crazy experience.

(31:00):
It's a very very different, weird thing, and I'm just like,
I wish people would give her a break. That being said,
Chapel love you girl. Please tune out to this part.
The memes about it are very funny. I can't escape
the fact that the memes are fun always good. The
memes are good.

Speaker 1 (31:13):
The Zelda one is.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
It's like it's it's the Great Fairy from N sixty
Morockery of time, pulling links hair, Like just found this
and she's like she looks like Chapel. She's got like
red hair and like all this like trelisy stuff in her. Yeah,
And it's that that made me like.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
The memes are very funny.

Speaker 3 (31:31):
You also, every once in a while, you will pop
up on my phone posting something that I have never
heard about my Like you'll post like some kind of
cartoon figure I've never seen in my life, and You'll
be like back at it with this bitch, And I'm like,
I don't know what these little games are, but I
want to come play with you. I want to come
play your little game. I don't know them, Come, come, come, I.

Speaker 1 (31:48):
Want to be involved. I feel like you have so
many fun games.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
I this is I'm really settling into this, this new
life of just like I can maybe I just I
just I'm a little concierge for people.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
Maybe you should get on switch. That's Hassan's, that's Hassan's.
Leave it to Hassan.

Speaker 3 (32:06):
Leave it to Hassan to be on Twitch, to be
talking about politics too much, to leave it to Hassan
to be too talking about gay guys too much. I
said this. I said this when I went a show.
He was talking so freely about game and I said, Hassan,
you better fucking man or hush it up.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
I would agree, and I would say absolutely first in
line for that. You want to fuck us on? Oh deeply?
Oh my goodness. And can I say I think all
these people like coming for Hassan want to fuck him too.
Oh sure, he's handsome. I like him.

Speaker 3 (32:30):
I like I like Hassan. I don't I don't need
to no offense, brother, I don't need to fuck him.
But I think if I think, if you don't.

Speaker 1 (32:36):
Need to fuck him, I would just be first in line.
If there was an option, like if there's gonna be
a sweepstakes.

Speaker 3 (32:41):
I think if he wants to keep talking to the
Austin the little gay guy on his podcast, if he
wants to keep talking to Austin crazy about gay stuff,
he needs to fuck somebody.

Speaker 1 (32:49):
Has he been talking crazy about gaysta.

Speaker 3 (32:51):
No, just like he'll be like, he'll be like when
I went on his show, he was like he was like,
Austin's a selfish top and I was like, let's.

Speaker 1 (32:55):
Take a pot. What do you think that means. Let's
let's take a pause.

Speaker 3 (33:03):
I want to talk to everyone about what we think
that means.

Speaker 2 (33:05):
Okay, wait, straight quote unquote guys, and this is again
has on. I believe men, but like straight guys are,
they love to talk and bandy about our little terms.
And multiple men at SNL, well meaning great guys would
just randomly turn to me and be.

Speaker 1 (33:23):
Like, God, gay guys really have it figured out.

Speaker 2 (33:26):
You can fuck whoever you want. I'm like, stop, they
love this, that's not true.

Speaker 3 (33:31):
Straight guys love to We do not have it figured out.
I don't know if you've noticed. It's not going well
for many of us. Personally, I'm chilling, but I straight guy,
my straight guye buddies will love to tell me nothing
more than like they'll just really in a moment of
like weird introspection. We'll just be at lunch or something,
and they'll be like, god, the way you guys can
just get a blowjob on command?

Speaker 1 (33:51):
And I'm like, Hey, not true. Hey, what's going on?
Your wife is in the bathroom? What is going on?
Like it's really insane, do you know? That's what I'm
saying is It's like it's like whenever I feel like
there's them cheating judgment towards our community, I'm like, here's
the thing. We're just so out loud and proud and
exuberant about our mental illness and about like what's breaking

(34:13):
us down and has us broken as a community and
individuals we're in. But like the straits are so like
repressed about how about their bullshit that they end up
doing duplicitous, mean, nasty things to the people they love
the most, Like they have not interrogated why they would
make some of these choices because they haven't had shame.

Speaker 3 (34:35):
Yes, are you guys doing monogamy? Can I ask that?
How's monogamy working?

Speaker 1 (34:38):
Right now? I'm not familiar. Me and my boyfriend are
distance so it's like where does London but very abroad?
Like good God. So it's kind of like it's kind
of one of those things where it's just like you know, you're,
you're you figure it out, You're you're you're writing it out. Yeah,
it is, it is. You know, it's never easy monogamy

(34:58):
for you.

Speaker 3 (34:59):
Well, I don't know, this is what I'm thinking about.
I was in an open relationship most of last year,
and I was always kind of making fun of open
and I was like, oh, I don't really want to
do that because I wasn't dating anyone right, And then
it came down to date someone and I was like,
oh god, maybe they really they're onto something over there.
I can't be carrying on multiple relationships. That's not for Caleb.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
No. Not then open was fun. I don't know. There's
some look I do get a little jealous. I'm not
gonna lie to you. Other people, Oh hold on, no,
I I in open.

Speaker 3 (35:28):
I will say, like, there are a lot of people
that are open that are like I love when my
man comes home and tells me about this hot guy
that he fucked, and I'm like, not me, I don't
like it. It doesn't turn me on I don't like it.
I don't mind it knowing that I'm gone as much
as I am and whatever. But monogamy is coming up
a lot lately, and I'm like, I don't know, I
don't know what is it coming up a lot in
my head because I'm like, I want a family.

Speaker 1 (35:48):
I want you Oh you do you do? Eventually?

Speaker 3 (35:50):
Yeah, I want kids, Like That's a big goal of
mine in life. And so I'm like, what am I
going to be open with kids? Like I'm gonna have
like a kid and be like going out to see Like,
I don't.

Speaker 1 (35:56):
Know, I know it people. I don't understand that, but
people do do it.

Speaker 3 (36:02):
I also, yeah, every once in a while, of course,
I get swept away with the idea that I'm going
to meet someone.

Speaker 1 (36:08):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (36:09):
You guys ever get that idea that you're like, oh
my god, I'm gonna meet someone that makes it so
easy and fun to just like lok in forever totally
my total freaking is that the craziest thing you.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
No, no, no, what if?

Speaker 2 (36:18):
Like having kids is like the glue that makes the
open work, that makes the open work or the monogu war.

Speaker 1 (36:25):
Well, this is a great question. That locks you in.

Speaker 3 (36:27):
Yeah what and we'll never know. That's what I'm curious about.
I don't know, but I'm just wondering about it all.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
I feel like. Also, another thing is like I'm now
thirty six, and I don't think I require or have
the urges to be like thinking about being on the
prowl in the way I was like, just monogamy in
terms of energetically makes more sense because I'm like, yeah,
that sounds a lot easier and I don't have to
deal with someone, yeah, you know what I mean. Like nowadays,

(36:52):
it's kind of like it It's not like it was
where I could just hop on a dick when I
was twenty five, you know what I mean. I'm just like, Okay,
what's going on? Yeah, I've had lunch and dinner. But
is someone knocking? Because I'll answer now It's like, okay,
let me do the mental math here, Like I don't
know you guys on.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
Grinder, I am having on it again and I am
about to shudder again. I'm just like this is there's
nothing here?

Speaker 1 (37:20):
Yeah? Truly? Also, because are you showing face on there? Yeah? Yeah,
I'm getting banned a lot. Yes, I have to text
funny who works at Grinder, this poor.

Speaker 3 (37:32):
Sweet soul who has has no business getting these nasty
vial texts from there. And I text him and I go,
I'm an Oklahoma stadium as horny as I've ever been,
And I've once again been banned from Grinder for impersonating
Caleb Haarent. Which can I say that? Of the gig
guys to impersonate, I have to imagine that Caleb Haarent
is not high on the list on Grinder. I don't
feel like that makes a ton of sense.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
I say the same thing to the guys who are like,
you're cat fishing. I'm like a fem Asian light.

Speaker 3 (37:58):
Yeah, you guys hate people on here. You hate Asian
people on here, Like, no, I wouldn't pick Kayla. You
know I wouldn't pick like I would. Doesn't make it,
That doesn't make sense. We wouldn't crack Cafish that way, right.
I know who you catfish as when you do it,
and it's never Yourse, it's never me.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
Yeah. I got damned one time because I was I
was in uh the Tampa area, and they're like, we
knew it couldn't be you. I was like, no, I'm
just weird in here. No, I just had to go
to Tampa. Actually just sometimes come to Tampa. It's like
a thing about me. If you had just sent me
a message, we could have gotten into it. I would

(38:32):
have told you all about my part time Tampa life. Yeah.
I do have fun on grinder. I am. I am
like regularly meeting people off a grinder.

Speaker 3 (38:38):
I would say, really, but like I'm very specific about it,
and I'm I'm very like, yeah, I don't think It's
not how it was when I was like twenty, I know,
you know, when I was twenty, I was like like
I was like, who, I'll do anything. I was doing
a on when I was twenty. What I was meeting
strangers without face picks when I was ten?

Speaker 1 (38:56):
Yeah, I can't be doing that anymore.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
That's that's Chicago twenty. You're in your twenties, you're doing
an on.

Speaker 1 (39:02):
Say that, say that, say that. I had like that.
I had like a like a really crazy six week
period on grinder when I was like when I was
in my like twenty six, twenty seven, I had a
sixer when I was seeing like I like, I'll just
say like four or five guys a week, Like I
was just like I had discovered it and I was

(39:23):
just like, I am on this and it was like
I was having like a little sexual revolution in myself.
I say it's a six week period because it had
to end. I got syphilis. Of course, totally. That's the
bottle man, the pirate STI.

Speaker 3 (39:37):
That'll happen sometimes, an STI that we truly should not
even be saying if it's not in a pirate tux.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
I thought I thought it was a joke. I was like, yeah,
symphilis sure. It's just like no one gets that, got it? Matt.
I heard a story about you on the way over
here today. What's the story?

Speaker 3 (39:51):
My assistant Michelle. Yeah, we're driving over here together, shout out, Michelle,
love you girl. So sorry about everything. I'm a nightmare
to work for. She used to work at a restaurant
in Brooklyn. Uh, and I have to confront you.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
What's the rest? Oh God?

Speaker 3 (40:05):
She said that you came in and she said you
were not very nice.

Speaker 1 (40:10):
I wasn't nice, I'm kidding. She said you were a
total sweet Like I was. Imagine, he's the loveliest person
on earth. First of all, A I am industry and
so I go in there, and I'm like, I make
sure that everyone knows that he's been on either side.
I I by when I say I'm industry, I mean
I'm restaurant industry for ten years. Like, but I was

(40:31):
so shocked that I was possibly capable of that. I know, well, no,
I'm totally kid. Restaurant dinner party, okay, yeah, okay, yeah,
somebody's birthday.

Speaker 3 (40:43):
Yeah, somebody said you were lovely, and I just thought
that was really sweet. I was really scared because when
she said I was like, oh my gosh, like I
love Matt. I hope this is a good story, because
I will say when I hear, when I hear, like
somebody be like, oh, Renes el Weggar came into my
coffee show.

Speaker 1 (40:56):
I feel bad that Renee got the poll. But like
any celebrity, we only say her because she's notice But.

Speaker 3 (41:01):
It's like they'll say some random celebrity and they'll be like, ugh,
they were they were kind of rude to me, and
I'm going, I don't really believe that or listen to that,
only because it's like so many times I'll hear someone
say that and I'm like, it sounds like they were
just like kind of in a rush and having a
bad day, like they didn't like dress you down in
front of everyone or something.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
They were just like.

Speaker 3 (41:18):
You know, and it's like, that's not mean, that's just
being a person who has twenty things to do. So
I wondered, and then it was that you were.

Speaker 1 (41:23):
Well, I'm happy that that ended the way it did,
that story, because I will tell you people acting crazy
like that in restaurants. I can't abide by it.

Speaker 3 (41:32):
Bowen and I had a beautiful night at with Selka Ones.
Oh really, do you remember our faded night?

Speaker 2 (41:35):
But I do, of course I do, But I do.
We talk about it because I think it was best cases.
I think things happened exactly how they should have they
were meant to.

Speaker 3 (41:44):
Well, I it was funny because you were writing for
us and l and oh this is years ago, this
is twenty nineteen.

Speaker 1 (41:49):
Yes, this is after my first season. You were screen
testing It wasn't your first right your first season? Right? Yes?

Speaker 3 (41:55):
Yes, yes, I was screen testing for the show. And
I was like, I was like, Bowen, can we can
we go out and get food after my thing? And
we Bonn took me to sell and I was like,
I feel like I was like you're gonna be on
the show, right?

Speaker 1 (42:08):
Did you tell me that? I feel like we talked
about it.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
Yeah, And I was like, and I even back, and
I was like, I don't know, I think like I
just literally was like, they would never put an Asian person.

Speaker 1 (42:17):
On, and I was like, they're not gonna put two
gay guys on, right. So I left. I left that meal.

Speaker 3 (42:21):
Being like Bone's getting on the show and this was
a fun exercise, but like, I'm not getting this job.

Speaker 1 (42:25):
And then that is what happened.

Speaker 3 (42:27):
But it was it was so you were so sweet
and lovely to me, and I was nervous about the thing.

Speaker 1 (42:31):
It's terrible to the staff. You were horrible to the staff.

Speaker 3 (42:34):
You berated them, and then Matt came in just to
be mean to them and then left, didn't even like
have a bite with us, came in, braided them.

Speaker 1 (42:40):
Left. Yeah, awesome, And I made sure it was Michelle.

Speaker 3 (42:43):
Yeah yeah, get Michelle out here, get out of here,
bring her in, get her out.

Speaker 1 (42:47):
But it was so lovely and sweet. That was nice.
That was That was That was Chicago days.

Speaker 2 (42:51):
What was the year What was the year post that
you that you defected from Chicago?

Speaker 1 (42:56):
Chicago?

Speaker 3 (42:57):
I left Chicago if you can possibly believe it. In
May of twenty twenty to move to Los Angeles.

Speaker 1 (43:02):
Okay, well, at that time that was kind of a
That was was because because La was you know, quote
unquote nicer place to be at.

Speaker 3 (43:09):
That totally nice so you could be outside. And I
was driving for Uber Eats at the time. I had
no job. I had quit my job to do comedy
full time in January of twenty twenty. Right, I'll have
a laugh, right, And I thought I thought things were
on the up, and then COVID happened.

Speaker 1 (43:20):
Nothing happened. I was making no money, so I was driving.

Speaker 3 (43:23):
For Uber and I was like, I'd rather be driving
for Uber with the windows down, yeah, while people were
dying left and.

Speaker 1 (43:29):
Right all winter. Yeah, I was like, let me get
out there. So I moved to La then Love.

Speaker 2 (43:34):
Yeah, I mean it's all like like we're just a
little path through Virgina Wood and then mean back up again.

Speaker 1 (43:40):
Isn't it so cute? Though? Like, guys, we've been doing
this for a minute and that it's now at the
point where it's just like, oh, how long have I
known Bowen? And the answer is seventeen years. Jesus Christ
that's crazy. It's gonna be it's gonna be half our life,
half our life soon. That feels crazy, just to quantify,
like your adult life.

Speaker 2 (43:59):
Has met you in two thousand and eight, So what
would we run up and say eighteen?

Speaker 3 (44:02):
Technically, technically, in a couple of years, you guys will
have had more life knowing each other than you did
when before you knew to me.

Speaker 2 (44:08):
I know, you know what I mean, that's what Well,
that's that's that's where I am with New York City
or I'm like, I've spent most of my life here.
It's the only place I've been an adult in. Am
I robbing myself of something? I don't know what do
you mean? Like like I like by saying like, oh,
I haven't lived anywhere else, but he knows where.

Speaker 1 (44:24):
He's going when everything goes down? Where going Ontario? Really?
Why is that Lake Muskoka just lakes?

Speaker 2 (44:31):
Just there's no there's no there's If you look at
all the map overlays, it's like no no wildfires, no tornadoes,
no earthquakes, no flood.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
He's got his likeg Trepper, it's interesting. I think we
all got to be preppered. No, it's interesting nowadays, because
you talk to people and you realize some people in
your life have fully prepped, like we are, or our friends.
Who's a couple. I was over there at their at
their apartment like a few months ago and they go, yeah,
we're both getting guns and I'm like what, and they well,

(45:00):
when the grid goes down, we both need a gun
because in case one of us goes. I was like,
excuse me. They were like, yeah, well, if one of
us goes, if one of us goes down, you need
someone to cover. I was like, you guys have really
thought about one.

Speaker 3 (45:11):
Of these people with these lesbians. O Hey, guys, see
it's the lesbians that are doing it to me. And
I heard something even more concerning recently, more concerning than
gun if you can believe it. I was at lesbians
house recently. They told me that they said, yeah, several
of us just got walkie talkies. I said, I'm not
paying attention to now. I very clearly I'm not tapped
into it for their compound that they're like already. I said,
walkie talkies. If it comes walkie talkie time, give me

(45:34):
the gun.

Speaker 2 (45:35):
If it comes walkie talkie time. I'm not doing walk
well I go, I go like, if the grid goes down,
I'm out.

Speaker 1 (45:42):
I'm sorry, I'm killing myself. I'm not doing walkie talkies.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
I am not doing walkies. I'm not doing generators. I'm
not because then what we're camping, and I hate that.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
I'm not camping my love. When my Wi Fi goes out,
I almost jump out a window. I'm not surviving when
the grid goes down, I'm not at all.

Speaker 3 (45:59):
I I the things. I find the space in my
heart and soul to complain about my current present life. Yeah,
you wouldn't want to see me. Also, it can't be
that those things are called walkie talkies as the technical No, no, no,
there's gotta be a more technical term, right.

Speaker 2 (46:13):
Whatever it is. When the grid goes down, those nails
bye bye.

Speaker 1 (46:16):
No, God, don't do close ups on them. That's really importing.

Speaker 3 (46:19):
No, I'm not doing walkie talkies. I'm not doing survivalist stuff.
I like, will come to the lake with you for
a little bit if I can still like drive, but
I'm not if the grid goes down, I'm not doing it.
One of my friends drew a map. Drew a hand
drawn map. Hot, I guess of how to get from
New York to this piece of land that their family
owns in Pennsylvania in case we need to escape. I said, yeah,

(46:40):
I'm just not. I'm obviously not reading the things you
guys are reading. I'm not.

Speaker 1 (46:43):
I can't be involved. We're running different races. Yeah, like
you're trying to fight, like with people. I'm like again,
fighting with my microwave to work. Yeah's going on. I
have a different job. Oh, the whole grid is fully
working better than ever. Yeah, and I'm barely ser the
grid is up. Yeah, and I'm barely getting by. I'm
in theory.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
It's Ontario for me, but it's like who knows, Like
at that point, I just I just hope I'm there
when shit goes down, yeah, which is so unlikely.

Speaker 1 (47:11):
What do you guys want out of your life? Can
I ask you an artist question? Yes? Yeah, you think,
GI guy, we've been vulnerable. What else can we be? Earnest?
I think we can be all sorts of things. That's
really what this podcast has. What do you guys really want?
What do I really want? You know what? I think
I would like to I think i'd like my life
and I like the way it's developing, and I want
it to continue, but it's I stopped. Like I said

(47:34):
the other day, I was like, I don't really believe
anymore making plans after like six months, like six months ahead.
It's like I can see my schedule and I can
see what I'm doing for a few months, but like,
I don't. I couldn't wrap my head around a five
year plan or a grand plan for my life because
I feel like that would weirdly be limiting. I'm like

(47:54):
open to things because I've surprised myself so far, I think.
And then in terms of like you know, the romantic
stuff and like all of that, like I think that
right now, I'm in the mode of like I just
want to follow good feelings and what is meant to
be will be. Yeah, but I can't. I don't know,
I can't. I can't. It's not that I can't make

(48:17):
goals anymore. It's just that, like I don't think it
would be useful for me.

Speaker 3 (48:21):
I'm just kind of like, let's just see everybody's feeling
that way. Yeah, Yeah, I don't think anyone can see
the future, which is a real I don't know if
that's new or if that's like always been kind of
happening or what. But I really don't think so many
people living right now that are like our age or
younger are really thinking twenty years from now and going like,
I know what.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
That will look like because this is the first time
in society. Someone was saying this on what like Al
Jazeer or something like, this is the first time in
society where we are mourning the future.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
In advance, right, That was pretty scary. We're not.

Speaker 2 (48:54):
That's like, this is the first times as a people
that were like, oh, twenty years from now, well that
that's so uncertain that like I can't and that puts
you in a crazy existential funk where you're like, what
the fuck am I supposed to do now if like
if like there's nothing to reap like in twenty years.

Speaker 3 (49:11):
I just watched this incredible documentary called Join or Die.

Speaker 1 (49:15):
Have you all seen that? Join or Die? Join or Die?

Speaker 3 (49:18):
Has anyone heard of this? It's so wonderful this guy
and I don't remember anyone's names from it, sorry, But
this research or research for a long time like like
governments and society, like societies and like little different like regions,
and I think mostly in Italy at first, and then
he came back to the States.

Speaker 1 (49:34):
He's from the States.

Speaker 3 (49:35):
He basically did research on like what makes people feel cohesive,
Like what is the basis of community, Like what makes
rich community where people feel bought into their democracies, and
like what is that thing? And he basically started charting
it with like involvement in social groups like kawanas or
the Elks lodge, or choirs or like choral groups or

(49:55):
you know these things that we used to have so
many social clubs, like the Women's Suffrage movement started out
like a women's social club, and like like many of
like w b D Boys's like speeches came at like
social clubs, like places where people gathered to be like
part of like societies and.

Speaker 1 (50:09):
Things like third spaces exactly.

Speaker 3 (50:11):
But the as as like mistrust in the government and
like disenchantment with democracy has gone up in like a
pretty straight line. Inversely, association with like groups has gone down.
And I was so fascinated by this. It's a really
really good documentary.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
It's on Netflix.

Speaker 3 (50:28):
Shout out you guys, shout out shout out love y'all,
and and and all the streamers.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
Yeah, I just love media.

Speaker 3 (50:42):
I hope everything streams forever and it will and stop
seeing movies to theaters.

Speaker 1 (50:46):
By the way.

Speaker 3 (50:47):
And it was really really good though, it was it
was really fascinating, and I was like, oh, yeah, we're
really not in groups anymore.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
Because and like the perfect sort of recipe for whatever
like little manipulative things is like there's there's a reason
like where we're less and less motivated to go and
and seek out these spaces and clubs and stuff.

Speaker 1 (51:08):
Yeah, we're on our phone. We're on our phones.

Speaker 3 (51:10):
And also there's not there's no real belief, I think
on the on on a mascot. I just was reading
maybe yesterday morning, about this town I think it was
in Oklahoma, that their city council and their mayor.

Speaker 1 (51:19):
You're obsessed with Oklahoma, by the way. I love Oklahoma.
Can't god enough of it. I cannot get enough of it.

Speaker 3 (51:23):
Shout out to Olcahola, Oklahoma readers. What are your other
ones public Oklahoma fans of this show?

Speaker 1 (51:36):
They're there on subgroup now Oklahoma Yeah, Oklahomas, ok Yeah,
I can't do right now.

Speaker 3 (51:42):
But I was reading something that this town they like
approved a giant like AI data center. The city council
and the town like got together and like marched into
city Hall and turned in like a fully signed petition
to have all of them recalled. Everyone on city council.
The mayor entirely put up for like a recall immediately,
and it was like the surge of like they do

(52:02):
not want this fucking data center. They're being sold out
by their officials. But it's you need it needs to
be on that kind of scale for people to believe
that we can affect change, because we can. It just
needs to be scaled down to where it's like manageable
to take bites.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
Yeah, Like somebody was saying, like the other day, it's
like even with the protests, like I feel like we
were often hearing like this was the largest protest in history,
or like this was the biggest day. Like it still
feels like when you zoom out and look at what's
happening in the world, like there I understand that thought
of like Okay, well, how many times have we heard that?
And yet it feels like the world is getting worse

(52:35):
and worse and worse. But then when you think of
community on a small scale, it's very easy for me
to think about like people walking into a town hall
and like making change because people would be forced to listen.
I think what's like so shitty is it's like it
doesn't matter anymore, how large like a voice we are
saying we don't want something. We're so separated from the
people that can make change and make power and they're

(52:57):
so siloed off from us that it's like totally fruitless.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
Yesterday they did like attacks the brit Rally and the Bronx,
and someone was like it was great, like it was
just like people who already know this, but like yeah,
but they were like so like I don't know, like
it felt like interesting, like it we weren't sure like
where this is all going. I was like, oh no,
the fact that you guys even like gathered is kind
of like the win, right. It's like it's like where

(53:22):
you're saying, it's like these movements start out of literal
like biomass, like living, breathing creatures, like coming together for
whatever reason.

Speaker 3 (53:31):
Yeah, I'm really up two minds about it because I
feel also that I had this conversation with a lot
of friends after like twenty sixteen, because it was a
very funny experience for me as someone who had lived
my whole life up intil that point in Missouri that
so many of my friends on the coasts for the
first time, we're being like, we got to pay attention
to the middle of the country. And I was like, Oh,
were you guys not? I was like, oh, I was,
And so that was really interesting to me. I learned

(53:53):
a lot from that moment. And then I have this
kind of feeling that I'm like, something is gonna have
to give eventually, with the fact that like so many people,
like leftists, like good hearted people who really want a
brighter future for all of us, we say that things
are so dire right now, and we say that like,
this is really as bad as it can get, is
so existential, And then the truth is that if a
bunch of us moved to other places and started like

(54:16):
having hard conversations, I think we have the winning argument.
I think good people who want a better future that
is not controlled by a handful of billionaires actually have
the winning argument. And a lot of working people who
don't vote the way we think maybe they should agree
with us.

Speaker 1 (54:28):
Yeah, yep.

Speaker 3 (54:29):
If it's so existential, a bunch of us are going
to have to move to places like Ohio and get
to work and we're not doing that, and so that's okay,
but we're gonna have to like eventually do something about
the cognitive dissonance of the statement that things are existentially
dire and we have to make take drastic measures. And
then also, nobody wants to move to West Virginia.

Speaker 1 (54:48):
The thing is, though I feel like, like, yes, it's
okay that people don't do that, but if that's not
going to be the case, if we're not going to
engage with them in like a real way like that,
then we have to at least, I think, make sure
we're not siling siloing off in a media way. Right.

Speaker 3 (55:03):
I really want and this was almost and I don't
think so honey for me, but it's not.

Speaker 1 (55:07):
But the.

Speaker 3 (55:09):
What I really want is for Democrats to start being
who Republicans say they are. There's a Republicans keep saying
that Democrats are these like transgender leftist radicals who want
to like destroy the billionaire class, and then you cut
to Chuck Schumer and it's like he's not on estrogen,
he's not sucking dick, he's not doing anything for working people.
But there's just nothing, and then their whole pitch, like

(55:29):
avin Newsom's whole pitch is like, hey, I'm not so
different from the Republicans, And it's like, well, bitch, can
you be right? Can somebody be what? Does does anyone
have any interest in being different than these fucking Cretans?
Like yeah, it makes me feel fucking crazy because you
look at a place like Missouri where Trump wins by
you know, fourteen, fifteen, twenty points whatever, and then abortion,
they passed the strictest abortion being in the country, and
then they put it up for a referendum and the

(55:49):
people voted down by three points. So that's a twenty
plus point swing between Trump winning and a very contentious
progressive issue winning with the same voters. Same thing with
leus marijuana, same thing with raising the minimum wage and
giving people paid sick leave, all very leftist ideas. They're
winning on the same ballots that Trump is winning. So
we very clearly have a candidate problem. And I think

(56:10):
if the solution was people like Gavin Newsom coming in
with like a slick haircut and not wearing a tie,
so we think he's regular spare me coming in and
pairating the same things they're talking about. We've already had
that choice We've already had that choice and it didn't work.
So I just feel crazy all the time. I feel
fucking crazy.

Speaker 1 (56:27):
I mean I was watching something yesterday about like, well,
it looks like Kamala Harris is running again, and so
that means that her and Gavin Newsom will be at
the top of at the top of the polls. And
I'm like, well, that just sounds like a lot of
wasted time, guys, why because let's run someone crazy.

Speaker 3 (56:41):
Let's run someone Let's run a fucking a kooky leftist
art teacher from like Middlebury, Ohio. Let's run someone nuts.
Let's just go crazy with it.

Speaker 1 (56:49):
I just don't think.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
I'm sorry, but I just don't think Kamala and Gavin
are going to do it.

Speaker 1 (56:53):
We don't. I mean, it's just never gonna happen. It's
because it just goes back to the thing of what
people did in like I think holistically was that he
was the type of like you can even tell him
the way he does his hair and the way he talks,
and he comes out and says things like we need
to be more culturally normal, and that's gonna like fix problems.
I'm like, yeah, what exactly do you mean by that

(57:14):
he is like so slyly or he thinks he's so
slyly homophobic. Meanwhile, it just is homophobia.

Speaker 3 (57:20):
Also, any any Republican with any level of like acumen
is going to destroy him on that culturally normal shit.
I know he thinks he's courting middle voters, but brother,
you grew up rich in California. Yeah, your culturally normal
thing is not going to fly in the middle of
the country. Like it doesn't fly with me. I'm like,
culturally normal, I don't feel anything like you. And it's

(57:40):
not because I love trans people. I do, but it's
like I don't feel related to you at all because
you're like a slick career politician who you want to
be president so bad that I like, I hate it.
That being said, I think if gay guys would podcasts
for president, this country would be in such a good place.

Speaker 1 (57:57):
Yeah, God, he is always, He's always. You know nothing
that we can do it. I think we can do it.
A great team.

Speaker 2 (58:06):
Rogers Heron looks good on alone.

Speaker 3 (58:10):
In the Supreme Court, you would be incredible in the
Supreme Court. You would be incredible in the Supreme Court.

Speaker 1 (58:16):
I you in that robe. I was gonna say thank you.
Why do you want to push back so bad? Though?
I was like, because he wants to move to Canada,
I want him to Canada. I don't want. I don't
want any of this. Speaking of culturally normal, oh wait,
my god. Wait, we haven't asked of the question, which
is how did you become culturally you? What was the

(58:40):
culture that made you say culture was for you?

Speaker 3 (58:42):
Okay, let me ask you. Is this supposed to be
one thing?

Speaker 1 (58:44):
Anything? It can be.

Speaker 2 (58:45):
It can be Missouri, It can be like a movie,
a show, a song, a singer.

Speaker 1 (58:49):
It can be any.

Speaker 3 (58:50):
Yes, okay. I have so many things to say. But
Wide Open Spaces album by The Chicks. Wide Open Space
is the album by the Chicks. Yes, formerly Dixie. Yeah,
we're not doing that anymore the Chicks. That album has everything.
It has. It has your mom and your aunt scream
singing along in the car. It has heartbreak. It has
killing a man who cheated on you or sorry abused you.

(59:11):
It has he probably cheated too, Carl.

Speaker 1 (59:14):
It has it has it has fun dance tunes, it
has fiddle.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
Wide Open Spaces by the Chicks is one of the
greatest pieces of art we have ever seen in this country.
Thank you, and it really is what the American Project
was all leading to. Since then, who knows what happened
wide Open Spaces by the Chicks.

Speaker 1 (59:30):
God, I love those ladies.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
Yea, the project ended and failed when when you know
when the whole fucking thing happened.

Speaker 1 (59:38):
Yes, when they got in trouble.

Speaker 3 (59:40):
By the way, most people don't even remember this, when
the Chicks got in trouble, what they not only were
they right, but they didn't even say anything that crazy.
It was one concert in Paris or London where Natalie says,
we just want you to y'all to know we're on
the good side with you. We are ashamed of this
war and we're ashamed the President of the United States
is from Texas. That's a fucking softball said crazier things

(01:00:01):
like that is insane. They were right and they should be.
Oh god, I love them so much, I could cry.

Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
I love them.

Speaker 3 (01:00:06):
They're so special and Natalie Maines is so principled, absolutely
and so talented and I love her.

Speaker 1 (01:00:12):
Yeah, I love And you know what's crazy is it's
like what the Gaslighter album Like, which I also love,
which was their most recent album, like it. I hated
that it got tougher for her because her fucking husband,
Adrian Pasdar from Heroes, which was such a disappointment as
a Heroes fan that he was such like a you

(01:00:33):
know what is the tights on my boat? Yes, like
that was so disappointing. I'm like, wow, this woman couldn't
even catch a fucking break.

Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
Brought her backstage at the Hollywood Bowl. Yeah, Adrian Pasdar,
it is on site. Brother, It's really if I see
you in the streets, we need to have minimum a
strongly worded conversation. Yeap, maximum glove up let's bo He's not.

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
He's not on the streets anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
No, there's no way but white up in Spaces this
When did you encounter this album?

Speaker 3 (01:01:00):
Why upen Spaces came out in the late nineties, So
I was a very young I mean most of my
early my mom is like my biggest inspiration in the world,
and like pretty much everything good about me is because
of my mom. And most of my music taste comes
from my mom, like blaring songs in the car and
us like driving somewhere. I mean we just always had
to go somewhere, Like we always had to go, Like

(01:01:21):
she was always rushing to get to work and drop
us off at the babysitter or like we had to
go to like like it just feels like we were
always driving because we were and yeah, I just she
would play. I feel like I really came to understand
when I got a little bit older that like country
music by women at that time was really giving framework
for a bunch of women who didn't have like a

(01:01:42):
formal education, giving them a framework for feminism. And it's
like they were sitting around chatting like that. But it
was the feeling of like I never saw the women
in my life so alive as when they were listening
to The Chicks and Shania Twain and Jodie Martina, Martina McBride,
Faith Hill, like the list goes on and on and on,
and Lee and Willmack like it just really yeah, it

(01:02:03):
made them light up in a way. And I think
it's because it was like music for them about their
lives that was so empowering. And so I really fell
in love with that music because I saw all the
women in my life like come alive to it. And yeah,
the women in my life were always just genuinely for
the most part, funnier and like more vibrant and interesting
than the men who were talking over them. And the
talking over women thing has become like kind of like

(01:02:24):
a it got like beat over the head nauseatingly, I
feel like to a point. But really, when I was
growing up, was like these women couldn't get a word
in edgeways, and they were funnier and smarter. Yeah, and
that drove me fucking insane. And yeah, seeing them like
listening to Like the Chicks and singing along, I just
felt that there was something going on that was like
very special. Yeah, and I fell in love with it
because it was just the best feeling in the world.

Speaker 1 (01:02:45):
See. And I also wonder in the aftermath of all
that happening how frustrating that must have been for women
who probably were being told by their husbands like we
don't fucking like them anymore, like we're burning their albums
and doing the CDs, and like, how shitty it must
have been.

Speaker 3 (01:03:00):
Yeah, I also feel like I don't want to I
want to make sure that when I say that there
wasn't a formal education around feminism, the women in my
life were feminist in ways that people who have only
studied in the classroom could never like their feminism was
still important and real and powerful. They they were taking
stances and making swings and stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:03:18):
I just mean like.

Speaker 3 (01:03:19):
Formally formally, Like there wasn't this thing that I experienced
when I went to college where a bunch of people
were sitting around talking about ideas and being like this
is why this should be this way, and like this
is an example of this. Like it was more just
this lived experience of like, yeah, these shitty, annoying men
like ruining your life at every turn, and you just
kind of having like I think, like, yeah, I don't
want to be There's there are many women I have

(01:03:40):
known in my life that have had to stay with
a man because they they just could not afford to
live right them and the things you have to put
up with to be in that situation. Yeah, one of
the only times I saw them feel really like like
up was when they were listening to this kind of
because they were liberating me.

Speaker 1 (01:03:55):
Tho. Yeah, they were telling stories of like what it
might be like to like and I think that's there's
a system and being like what if we just kill them?
You know what I mean? Like there's like there's that's
what I love about music is like you live in
a different world for three and a half minutes, and like,
for three and a half minutes people were living in
a world where it was like, you know, I cathartically
had this experience and listening to this song where I

(01:04:15):
fucking killed my husband with my best friend or I got,
I got, I helped my friend that I'm seeing struggle
out of a situation it didn't actually happen, but cathartically
and like, you know, then live right.

Speaker 2 (01:04:28):
But it's like, but the thing about music is that
it is accessible. Yeah, you don't have to like at
the time you have to like pop Thelm and Louis
in the VCR and like watch us watch a story
or a parable portraying like feminine power. In this way,
you can just like turn it on on the radio
or you could like put pop the CD in the
car as you're driving, as it's like in the weather
of your life, like the like just is in the

(01:04:49):
climate of your life. Yeah, like that's the tricks are
fucking major. I'm I'm I need to go back and
really give wide open spaces, like a full list, like
like track to track listening because I always go to
fly Fly is my spaces are right, like that is
like just the three of them on that cover, just
like Light on their Feet.

Speaker 1 (01:05:10):
Well that was like that and Fly were like the
wide open spaces and that were like the peak, the peak.

Speaker 4 (01:05:14):
Commercial, cheap peak, and the music was great yeah, but
but also but not ready to make Nice was also
but the Long Way that is just like that's the
album of the year when where you're like, fuck, yes,
at least.

Speaker 2 (01:05:27):
That was like the only like the vindication that we
could have hoped for at the time. Now I think
long term, it's like, of course we're all like on
the same page about the chicks. It's unfortunate what happened
to them, but like them winning album of the Year
for taking the Long Way. And I thought Gas Lighter
was like I love like I feel commercially it did well, right,
I think so it was deep in the pandemic where

(01:05:49):
it came out.

Speaker 1 (01:05:49):
I don't know how much it was like and I
don't I remember. I would listen to it constantly when
it came out. I loved them.

Speaker 3 (01:05:58):
Music videos, great Texas man ooh yeah yeah. Also another one,
Did you guys ever see I'm always evangelizing about this,
Did you guys ever see Monique's Queens of Comedy set.

Speaker 1 (01:06:10):
Yeah, yes, this set changed my life. Wait and also
did you I'm sure you've seen the one where she
was went to the women's prison.

Speaker 3 (01:06:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:06:17):
No, Oh, she has such an incredible set and a
women's prison or she goes and it was just they
were living for her, and I was just like, people
don't talk about her talent as a stand up. They
don't talk about her talent across the board enough anyway.
They disrespect her at every turn.

Speaker 2 (01:06:32):
Every She's been ahead of it at every time, with
the open relationship step with like I'm not shaving my
fucking legs.

Speaker 1 (01:06:36):
Hello, I'm.

Speaker 2 (01:06:39):
Like, I'm not doing this shit that you're telling me
to do.

Speaker 1 (01:06:41):
Nique is everything.

Speaker 3 (01:06:42):
Her Queens of Comedy set was one of the first times,
I mean I grew up in such a like fatness
was either like a bad thing or a joke. Like
best case being fat was a joke, worst case in
more normal was it was like this horrific thing to be, like,
oh my gosh, if you were ever if anyone was fat,
it was like they were like dying to change it.
It was really seeped into like my personhood, and Monique
was genuinely the first time she opens that Queens of
Comedy set, she came out and like she was big

(01:07:04):
fat woman at the time, and she came out in
this like leather rat like sexy, slinky little thing, and
she walked out and she was like, every fat bitch
in this room should be on their feet clapping for.

Speaker 1 (01:07:12):
Me right now.

Speaker 3 (01:07:13):
She was like, skinny bitches don't have what it takes.
Skinny bit like it just like.

Speaker 1 (01:07:18):
They just don't. She just like went in and I
have I.

Speaker 3 (01:07:21):
Had never seen a fat person like own a room
like that, And it was genuinely one of the first
times that I was like, oh, maybe I don't have
to hate myself, Like maybe there is a reality where
I can just like myself and feel confident. And I
owe so much of my like six like any success
I have or any like confidence I have on stage,
I genuinely owe at least in part to watching that

(01:07:42):
set for the first So good if you if you're
listening to this reader's publicist Oklahoma publicist, I'm coming to
you now. If you have not seen this set, go
watch it. It's really fucking amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:07:53):
Also, like that set and then this this prison set
I'm referencing I'll never forget one it. One of the
bits in any early stand up I watched at that
time that stuck with me was hers from that prison set.
It was her reckoning with homophobia, and I remember at
the top the homophobia that she was feeling. And I

(01:08:15):
remember at the time, I was probably like fourteen fifteen,
sixteen years old, so hyper aware of when someone was
being homophobic, especially in a stand up comedy set, because
I was like, I really want I respected the art
form and knew I wanted to do it someday or
something like it. And she went on this run about
how like she was pretty sure that one of her
sons had a gay friend, and she was like, and

(01:08:37):
this gay kid's coming over and I'm like, what the fuck?
And then she did this run about how like her
son looked at her and was like, what do you
care if he's gay. He's a good person, and like
I love him and like it's not a big deal.
And she was like relating it to how she knew
a lot of the women in the audience were lesbian.
She's like, Oho, here's gay and they were like yeah,
And it was just like this this way too back

(01:09:00):
in with this ugly thing about her that she recognized
was a part of like the fabric of what she
thought at the time. But like was she was working
through it in a real way that didn't feel icky
as an audience member or it didn't make me feel
shitty as a little gay boy watching it. I was
just like, this is how you, I think, you know,

(01:09:23):
walk through like a phobia that you had. And maybe
this could be a note that you know, every iconic
male straight comedian that's you know, aged up now could take.
But it was just more interesting for her to unpack
what she needed to unpack than to be like, this
is what I don't get, this is what I don't get,
this is what I don't get. It was just it

(01:09:44):
was more developed, and you're right, I think is because
it was her womanhood that was allowing her that lens.

Speaker 3 (01:09:51):
Yes, she liked gay permission. She really gave so many
people permission to be themselves. Yeah, genuinely, I love her
so much.

Speaker 2 (01:09:56):
And she gave us the iconic quote the jumped out,
the horror jumped out. Your behavior was horror like Coorike
and the horror jum jumped out and jump back in.

Speaker 3 (01:10:07):
Charm School was we owe we owe so much to
Monique on Charm School and it's not even like top
ten of what we owe her thank you for, but
goddamn she was.

Speaker 1 (01:10:16):
Goddamn she was still good on Charm School. That's why
there's no rules is because it was after Charm School
that she won the Academy Award. That's why I say
there's no rules in that entertainment. You can do anything
as long as you're good enough. Because Monique like hosted
Charm School and then after that won the most within
three years and deservedly so, and by the way, didn't

(01:10:37):
do the whole campaign bullshit. Yeah no, just just completely
annihilated any job she's ever been given. YEP, in a
way that is also singular and memorable and real star quality,
because there's not another Monique. No, there's not another money
in so many different ways, there's not her like vocal delivery,
her cadence, her like, her point of view, her bravery,

(01:10:59):
her cur her choices artistically, there's just not. She just
doesn't get the credit.

Speaker 3 (01:11:06):
And she played a horny, inappropriate, freaky legend on the
Parkers and we have to have to thank her for that.
She's chasing that man down the halls and it was
inappropriate but really funny, and I love her so much.

Speaker 1 (01:11:18):
I would also say one of one of the top
ten things that I think we do her for is
in beer Fest when she was when she said I'm
gonna break your dick off when she was riding someone penis.
I'll never forget the beer performance in beer Fest, and
you can. It's Supporting Actress nomination was deserved for beer
Fest as well. A film that I'll remind you exists.

(01:11:40):
Beers did I mean had to be two thousand and
six or two thousand and seven because the peer pressure
that I must have felt to go somebody back, the
peer pressure can only be described, had to be during
a time where it was socially advantageous for me to
attend the film, and so seeing beer Fest at ice
Lit Movie Theater, it must have been two thousand six.

(01:12:01):
These are phenomenally answers. Really, I could go on and
on on. Yeah, these are those are two that really
stick out to me. Also, the movie Miss Congeniality or
Hello Give Some give some favorite elements of the film.

Speaker 3 (01:12:13):
Sandra Bullock. It's Sandra Bullock is once again one of
the best things that we have to offer the world
as human beings and in the universe. Really, I would
hold her. I would put her in a very small
class of people that we should show to the We
should give her work to the aliens to say this
is what we can do.

Speaker 1 (01:12:28):
Yeah, Discovery, that's what a movie star is. This is
what a movie star is. Bring that back. I mean,
she really is.

Speaker 3 (01:12:33):
So there are a million million moments, but really I
was rewatching it recently and one of the moments of
psychotomy has when she's on the plane, okay, going to
get her makeover, and she's watching the videos of like
the Queen's like she's trying to learn how to give
an acceptance speech, and she's like and she's like really
going for it.

Speaker 1 (01:12:49):
Yeah. I just was like God to be as.

Speaker 3 (01:12:52):
Like charming and genuinely good acting and also fucking DNA
funny as she is. Yeah, many people think they have
it and they.

Speaker 2 (01:12:59):
Just Joe I will never forget the way she says
when Benjamin Bratt brings like his like hot new girl
took the bar and she's eating ice cream, He's like,
I'll take a gin and talk and she'll have And
then Sandra goes milk, milk.

Speaker 1 (01:13:14):
So good. So many people. Yeah, we we just don't. Shatner,
Candy Bergen.

Speaker 3 (01:13:21):
Cansbergen, Cannesbergan stands up in the crown is perfectly on.

Speaker 1 (01:13:24):
Top of the head.

Speaker 3 (01:13:25):
And the talk about direction of the film, directing a film.
We're not directing films anymore, No, we're not. The crown
should be placed.

Speaker 1 (01:13:33):
Yeah, honestly, that was good. And I also like Benjamin Bratt.
He was an iconic Cottia of the time. Michael came like,
legendary performance. Good me, he's with me, he says. The
year we lost the girl was a deaf mute. You
can't please this woman has no talent. Legend, legend, desist, desist.

(01:13:59):
So it's amazing, it's incredible. They just had God, I
just took the flight back from from Thailand and they
had like Sandra Bullock's entire discography, and I did, I
did choose to watch discograph, discog so her unique sound.

(01:14:20):
Imagine she had like she was famous enough at one
point where she could have been like, I'm doing music.
Remember when Reese with the Spoon flirted with that after
walked the line, She's so good. But they were like,
maybe she released an album and I believe that that
was like flirted with for a second, but no.

Speaker 2 (01:14:37):
Because this is the year when Scargo was coming out
with the music like the girls were the girls of
that ILK were coming out with with with songs opened.

Speaker 1 (01:14:44):
For me, We'll do it and half the way have
you heard have you heard her song Burial? No? Sorry,
Mother Mary? She's done a song with Charlie xc X
Jack Antonoff, and I believe she co wrote on it. Yes,
it's called this is a bi Oh my gosh. She's
giving like sort of gaga Charlie xcxx pop star. In

(01:15:05):
her other movie coming out next month, it's called Mother
Mary with MICHAELA. Cole, where she plays like it's like
it's like a sapphic like pop stars, like sort of
like weird, freaky, deeky little.

Speaker 3 (01:15:17):
And by the way, you talk about another person that
we should give up to the dailiens to.

Speaker 1 (01:15:20):
Show what we're capable of.

Speaker 3 (01:15:21):
AND's performance in of course everything but we can we
do not talk enough.

Speaker 1 (01:15:27):
Are married about getting married?

Speaker 3 (01:15:31):
Okay, but let me raise you this her performance in
Broke Back Mountain.

Speaker 1 (01:15:35):
Oh please her on the phone when she just goes
mm hmm, she just makes a little noise. Hello.

Speaker 3 (01:15:41):
It's called acting, and we don't see it enough anymore.
She's so goddamn good.

Speaker 1 (01:15:46):
Movie, so fucking good in it, and everyone else got
all the air. But like, and I also appreciate that
movie for what it did for Michelle Williams and she
deserved that. But Anne got lost in the conversation and
she was giving a great blonde performance. Yes she was.

Speaker 3 (01:16:00):
She was phenomenal. She's phenomenal in that movie, and I, yeah,
she really is.

Speaker 1 (01:16:04):
What was the when you were saying Rachel getting married?
I haven't seen it? Watch out of it.

Speaker 2 (01:16:11):
She's like, in recent interviews, has been like I like
they asked her, like, what's like an undersung role of yours.
She's like, I'm really proud of Rachel getting married, and
as she should be.

Speaker 1 (01:16:19):
I'm gonna watch it. I gotta say too. I did
recently watch rewatch the clip of I Dreamed the Dream
and you forget she did it in one take? Yep,
like it was done. It was done live in one take,
right there in her face, and you you think, like,
because lame is kind of when you look back at it,
people are like, oh iffy about like the the very
close up singing and sort of the way it was done.

(01:16:40):
She killed it really singing and using her voice and
acting it in a way that was no fucking around.
What can you tell us about the big film that
was part of too? You know, it's so funny, you guys.

Speaker 3 (01:16:56):
When I I had kind of like sworn off auditioning
for the moment when not I just came through, I
was like, I'm not really auditioning right now. I'm really
tired of like going out for stuff and and and
just kind.

Speaker 1 (01:17:05):
Of like not really.

Speaker 3 (01:17:06):
I felt like I was self taping all the time.
We all go through arrows like that where it's like
I'm self taping constantly. The things I ended up getting
are from a friend anyway, I just was like, I
can't do it for a moment. I need some space
to breathe. And then this one came through and I
I literally in my head was like if someone asked
me to put five thousand dollars down on if I
would get it, or if one of you or like
Bennie Skinner would get it. I almost did an audition

(01:17:28):
because I was like, this is so one of those guys,
Like I was like, they they are good. This is
like a Matt Bow and Bennie and I and I
did and I taped for it anyway, and it was
so fucking fun.

Speaker 1 (01:17:38):
It was so cool.

Speaker 3 (01:17:40):
And I, by the way, someone should put us in
Bennie in a movie, the four of Us.

Speaker 1 (01:17:45):
Hello, someone write down and someone just write that down.

Speaker 3 (01:17:52):
But it was so fun, like it was crazy to
be a part of and and and is so like
I'm most I think Disney people will tell us if
I'm allowed to say this or not, but most of
my stuff is with Anne in the in the movie,
and she's so phenomenal.

Speaker 2 (01:18:06):
Disney adults would tell you.

Speaker 1 (01:18:07):
At Disney adults will let me say. Anything's possible. I
almost more a Mickey Waffle sweater today. That would have
been really cute.

Speaker 3 (01:18:18):
I know, okay, but I so I almost got on
a tangent about Mickey.

Speaker 1 (01:18:22):
Okay, so I so, okay, you and An, most of
your stuff is with An. She's so lovely, Yes, she's
so lovely.

Speaker 3 (01:18:29):
I hadn't had the pleasure of meeting her until the
film Warmest, Loveliest, most energetic, like really made me go
inward about how much energy I bring to work. Like
I was like, I need to step up, like if
Anne Hathaway is as busy as she is and she's
bringing this level of like I think I'm a warm,
energetic person, but she was bringing to the point where
I literally at one point was like, Ann, I just
have to say, like, the level of energy you bring

(01:18:51):
every day is psychotic. I do not know how you're
doing it, Like I'm so in awe and I'm like,
how do you find the energy? And She's like, I
just tell myself that I have it, And I'm like,
you are on another level when I tell you. She's
going before shots, she's going into like what's supposed to
be her office and being like, hey, guys, can we
talk really quick?

Speaker 1 (01:19:07):
Like can we collab? Like I think this.

Speaker 3 (01:19:08):
Base would be different for her and can we move
this over here? Like a true fucking artist. Yeah, and
not in an annoying way, in a way that's like
genuinely respectful of everyone's craft, like knew what everyone did,
Like yeah, I just was very her and Marylyn stand
like all of them watching them work. I was just like, Wow,
this is really I knew it would be cool because
I'm a huge fan and I like watched the original

(01:19:30):
as like a closeted eleven year old boy in Missouri
and like it, Yeah, I could cry, Like it was
just so sweet and cool, but she was. She was
a delight and such a true talent. It's crazy, a
true pure talent, going from like conversing like this to
being like all right and speeding and then just fucking
into it acting like I don't know, I feel sometimes

(01:19:50):
silly to compliment people and the things that are like yeah,
they snap right into character and they knew all their lines.
But it's like she's so busy and she's operating at
such a high level on and off the camera. I
I'm a huge.

Speaker 1 (01:20:01):
Fan and I'm very inspired by her.

Speaker 2 (01:20:02):
Ass Oh my god, Cale, that's not no, this is
this is so worth talking about. Like yes, we're talking
about someone who's like acclaimed at their craft. But it's
like it's important to talk to like kind of pop
up in the hood for other people and just for
us like among amongst ourselves, amongst friends. It's like, oh,
because then it like gives it a reason for being.

(01:20:22):
Then it like motivates like if we're lucky enough to
like be in front of the camera again in that capacity,
then like yeah, like You're inspiring my ass to be like,
oh yeah, you can be like collaborative in that sense
and like way in because I am so used to
like the pecking order of the call sheet or whatever,
and I'm like, okay, like I'm not I'm not like

(01:20:42):
number one here. Let me like let everybody else make
the decisions for me. But it's like, but I'm just saying, like,
please talk about this stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:20:49):
Yeah, it's really inspiring. I'm like very I fucking love
acting so much and getting to watch people do it
at that level and people who have like or look
if if if Anne Hathaway or Meryl Streep or Stanley
Tucci wanted to be nightmares on that set, yeah, they
could totally get away with it, and people do and
they just ought not to. And I feel like, yeah,
I just feel very inspired by that. And it makes

(01:21:10):
me even more frustrated with the people who show up
late and don't know their lines and things that I'm like, look,
if Anne Hathaway can show up on time, be kind
to everyone in a fucking twenty mile radius and like
genuinely give warmth and attention to everyone and know her
lines and kill the performance and care, I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:21:26):
Like you can do it too, You can do it,
you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (01:21:30):
And I'm mostly talking about men, but yeah, I just
am so inspired by her work ethic and yeah, being
part of the movie Too is really fucking cool.

Speaker 1 (01:21:37):
So excited, you know What's kind of what Movie Too
is kind of like it feels like there's like a
reassessment of it happening. Is Interstellar. It feels like it
keeps coming up. Yeah, like over the past like six
months or so, I keep hearing people being like, actually,
have you watched that? Because it's great and she's one
of the best parts of it where she's she has

(01:21:59):
that I remember is that random when you first watched it?
It's like very random where they're like banging their heads
against the wall, but how they figure out like the
time space continuum or whatever. And Anne Hathaway is like
the only woman in America who could sell this. But
she's like her eyes well with tears. She's wearing that
like pixie cut. She's like, what if love is the answer? Hell?

Speaker 5 (01:22:20):
Wake it up?

Speaker 1 (01:22:21):
And I'm like I like on the page, I'm like huh.
And then I'm like what and like I'm full sobbing.
I'm like what if it's love? Yeah, and then it
kind of was. It was spoiler alert, it was love.
He's in that little library and spoiler yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's crazy movie. It's a crazy nut. So at the
time I couldn't hear it right, like because the sound like,

(01:22:41):
I mean, we usually have some guys in here who
like are down to clown with Chris Nolan movies. They're
not like, you're here, you are all right? He doesn't
really like it like Nolan. No, I'm sure. I don't
you know what I can't with.

Speaker 3 (01:23:00):
I watched the Dino's documentary, The Dinosaur Documentary on Netflix recently.

Speaker 1 (01:23:04):
Do you guys see the side? I didn't press play? Wow,
don't watch it? Stones?

Speaker 3 (01:23:09):
What the fuck is going on? What happened with the dinosaurs?
There's a part of this documentary. It's narrated by Morgan Freeman.
Obviously incredible choice. Hopefully got paid a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:23:17):
I'm sure he did it rained for a million years
at one point, I guess what, So, what the fuck
are you talking about? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:23:24):
That is so crazy. I shouldn't know anything about that.
The passage of time. Like I literally almost had a
panic attack. I was so scared they start talking about
the dinosaurs. Basically, the fact that humans exist is crazy
and our lives are so small, just so you know.
And the idea that it rained for.

Speaker 1 (01:23:38):
A million years is gonna go ahead and be something
I should have never heard about it. And this is
separate from the Ice Age, which was, by the way,
a whole age hello, where it was ice Hello.

Speaker 3 (01:23:48):
And the dinosaurs, by the way, they were here then
they weren't. Now maybe they're birds. I'm not can't be involved.

Speaker 1 (01:23:53):
They do say that they were likely birds.

Speaker 2 (01:23:55):
They were like, well, it's just that any color we
like applied to them is yes, is conjecture. Yeah, like
and drastic park. It's like, that's not what they looked like.
They might have had feathers, babe.

Speaker 3 (01:24:06):
Yeah, we don't know if they could have had feathers.
It's really scary.

Speaker 1 (01:24:09):
But the idea that it's.

Speaker 3 (01:24:12):
Oh, I'm gonna try to cry because the idea that
it rained for years, it is so crazy.

Speaker 5 (01:24:17):
What do you mean by that rained? First of all,
a million years happened, right, let's start there. Yeah, the documentary,
first thing it does puts up it puts up an
earth clock, takes it back to two hundred and sixty
million years ago. That didn't happen in my personal opinion,
do I mean that?

Speaker 3 (01:24:33):
No? Am, I I just can't process the idea that
there's been two hundred and sixty million years What do
you mean by that?

Speaker 2 (01:24:38):
What can't you process that? Like, like, where do you
fit into?

Speaker 3 (01:24:41):
Basically, like the fourteen hundreds is where you start from.
That totally from on Caleb's timeline. Everything started in like
the fourteen hundreds. They were speaking.

Speaker 1 (01:24:49):
English, which can you imagine being alive at that time
when you're always filthy, everyone's sick, and you're probably gonna
die from like a sword.

Speaker 3 (01:24:56):
Right, But I understood some things, like I understand like
the little hats they wore, understood maybe some things they
were saying.

Speaker 1 (01:25:01):
I get the fashion.

Speaker 3 (01:25:02):
But I'm scared of everything that happened before that, and
I'm scared of everything that will happen after this.

Speaker 2 (01:25:06):
Yes, I think I think it's because there's no media
portrayal of it, of dinosaurs of the years that was
raining you. You should have on like an whatever extra
screen you have lying around, just put on like Mesozoic
era screensaver. Yeah, and you should just see what like
what the world might have looked like back then, just

(01:25:27):
just there.

Speaker 1 (01:25:27):
Yeahs as Google AI, what were the vibes during the
million years of rain? Give me vibes, give me millionaire's
rain vibes. Because you've seen the fourteen hundreds on TV
and in movies and you can you can, you can
you can process that because you've pictured it. Yeah, I
think you have not pictured raining for a million years,
which of course you have it because because there's because do.

Speaker 3 (01:25:45):
You Okay, so I guess the way you're talking right now,
going it feels like, are you guys comfortable knowing that
it rained for a million years?

Speaker 2 (01:25:52):
I can believe. I can believe that it happened. But
the Dinos documentary it's just one one movie, not not
aboun two parts.

Speaker 1 (01:25:59):
Yeah, it's like part. It's like a part. It's an episodic.

Speaker 3 (01:26:01):
It doesn't show you guys out all till I think
about like, okay, no, it stresses me. As have been
friends for seventeen years, right, imagine that whole time, first
of all, and would never stop, would never stop during
the whole time you've been friends, right, and then let's
say that goes on for basically another million such least.

Speaker 1 (01:26:21):
At least though then you you are born into a
world where it rains, and you never know life where
it doesn't, so actually you'd probably get pretty used to it. Yeah,
it's a really good point.

Speaker 3 (01:26:31):
I wasn't born in the rain, so I have trouble
understanding it.

Speaker 1 (01:26:35):
Scary.

Speaker 2 (01:26:36):
You can only lock into stuff if I'm Stone.

Speaker 1 (01:26:38):
Now, if I'm watching, Oh, don't watch The Perfect Neighbor.
Oh that's tough, my neighbor. Oh that's perfect. Also Netflix
shout out. It was an Oscar nominated documentary that I
put on the other day, which is it's it's entirely
police bodycam footage that they strung together a narrative and
it's I can't even get into it. I didn't know

(01:27:01):
what it was about, and I put it on and
I had been too stone to watch that, and I wasn't.
I had to lay down for like three hours afterwards.
It was horrifying. But what's better. High on Netflix's Age
of Attraction. I don't know. I thought you would say,
I thought you're gonna say Stone is the best film ever.
Age of Attraction is a Netflix Netflix television series that

(01:27:25):
is new. Basically, it's about all these singles get in
the house and no one can reveal their age. The
one climb for age. The one question you can't ask
is how old are you until you make a connection
and then you go to the promise room and you
put a promised ring on each other to each other.

Speaker 2 (01:27:39):
Then it's it's like it's basically love's blind. You find
out at that.

Speaker 1 (01:27:42):
Point you're going to move in together, and only then
after you've made the commitments to move in together can
you reveal your age. And it's like, you know, wouldn't
you know it? Like like people that you would have
never guessed where sixty are, Like people that look thirty
five are really twenty two. And then it's about like, Okay,
we've just real this person that I've been getting to
know for four or five days that I thought was

(01:28:04):
maybe within a ten year age range for me, we
actually have like a thirty three year age difference. And
what does what does that knowledge do? And what is
the dynamic? How does it change when we're living together
with that knowledge? When I introduce you to family members
that come in And what's great about the show is
it starts like Love Island, where they're coming into the
villa and it's like they're blown out and they're making

(01:28:25):
its perfect and it's like they're perfectly like you know,
airbrushed and like the filter is on. And then once
they start living together, it becomes like a real docuseriies
where it's just like I just don't understand how can
you be celibate? But last night like ride me and
have an orgasm, just I just don't understand, like why
we can't go there? And she's like, if you can't

(01:28:46):
understand my celibacy, then what am I even doing here?
He's like, you're not celibate. We fucked, We basically fucked.
I just didn't put it in you. She's like, I
can't believe you'd even say that on camera. You wrote
him no penetration and came not that it's the details. No,
I am on confusing, No, but there was a moment
you have to watch it, yeah, Like and it's just
it's crazy. It's like it's it's the way it evolves

(01:29:09):
and from one type of reality show into another. I
think it's kind of a flip on the form in
a way that I was appreciating, like I was in
because it was so silly and stupid, and then once
that disappeared, I was just like I couldn't believe how
personal they were getting and what it was picking up.
And I'm just like, wow, we're in it in a
way that like after the honeymoon phase of meeting someone,

(01:29:30):
you're then in it. Yeah. But but they like really
they went hard when it came to like you know,
mapping in terms of the way they were shooting on
the way that the people were feeling at the time,
like it was good, get high and watch it.

Speaker 3 (01:29:47):
I might have to, I'm really yeah, for nothing else,
I'm wondering if maybe you would do me the favor
of sending me the timestamps of the celibacy stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:29:55):
Yeah. But the thing is, it's so much better when
you've seen what it comes before it. Like I can't
even described to you that, like the way that they're
filmed and like it goes from full a love isle.
You tried to watch, I tried, but I have not
gone to like the like the look and feel chef
you felt it had like a little bit ick.

Speaker 2 (01:30:12):
I was just like, I this is not like grabbed
me yet, because I think you need to wait for
the actual reveals. Whe you're like, oh, even eyes of
yours thought this person was forty years, you know, older
or younger or whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:30:23):
Yeah, I mean like, yeah, I guess I should give it.
The biggest age difference is thirty three years, and there's
another one that's twenty seven years, and like you really can't.
Like you're blown away when you find out that's what
it is. I don't believe it. Yeah, I mean it,
you're really blown away. Twice I was born away. Twice
I was blown away. I was like, Okay, yeah, I
knew that. I saw this coming.

Speaker 3 (01:30:42):
See because I have the gay guy scale of like
you know how they can age trees with rings, Yeah,
I can do that with torsos now because of being
on grinder since I was seventeen years old, right, Like,
if I just see a torsow, I'm like forty three.

Speaker 1 (01:30:52):
Oh that's amazing.

Speaker 2 (01:30:53):
You know how you can tell We need to get
the list of we need to give a list of
gay powers.

Speaker 1 (01:30:58):
We need to know there's a list of gay power.
Have you heard of this? No?

Speaker 2 (01:31:01):
So it's like it's like any gay gay man has
like six of these, like eighty gay powers. Maybe I
have the list of map reading telling aging men based
on their torsos, like you know.

Speaker 1 (01:31:16):
So I don't have the list of gay powers. But
the gay thing I do have is my Ariana Grande
Tour set list that I made when I was high
on the plane. And I said this to me. When
I said Ariana set list, my version spelled with a B.
So it says my version with a heart, and I
think it's perfect. I really believe you. His encoores were insane.

(01:31:39):
This is this is my Ariana Grande concert. The intro
end of the world short version into yes and to
be all right, intertrue story into supernatural. Then she takes
a break because she deserves it. Then we go back
into the past, breathing one last time. Ari think about it,
dangerous woman, take a little bit of a break. Yes,
it's time to honor positions. We do positions five and

(01:32:00):
POV after POV, I'm sure we have like a beautiful
like montage and like a like an eternal Sunshine montage
into the song Eternal Sunshine, Twilight Sign, twilight Zone, no
tears off to cry break. This is when we're being
a slot into you break up with your girlfriend, the
boy is mine, seven rings. We need a break. It's
wicked time popular into every different show. There's a different
musical theater cover into think about it, Ariana the way

(01:32:25):
break God is a woman, break free? Thank you? Next down,
Encore is imperfect for you, and we can't be friends.

Speaker 2 (01:32:32):
We can't be friends. This is the Encore works imperfect
for you. Doesn't make sense?

Speaker 1 (01:32:35):
I think is awesome. Of course.

Speaker 2 (01:32:37):
I love musical different musical theaters. Song every I think.

Speaker 1 (01:32:41):
I think we'll see something like that. It could be fun.
We'll see something this I could have done real work.

Speaker 3 (01:32:50):
This is what I do to your team, pinging you
left and right back. You need to hear you check
your docu sign. I'm busy with my version. Please do
dot loup please signor sign.

Speaker 1 (01:33:05):
And maybe time it's time, Okay, it's time for I
don't think so, honey. This is that segment we do.
It's time and so this is we put one minute
on the clock and we we sort of shred you
know what I mean? This This mic has been drooping
the whole time. I don't I think it's not worth
it to fix it now. That's what I do. Just
want to say. I think it's probably okay, right, I
sound okay, all right. That's a little bitts for y'all.

(01:33:26):
At home, you have something, Yes, I do, I do
have something. Okay, this is matt R. I don't think
so many time starts. Now, I don't think so, honey,
you asking me if I talked about you in therapy? Oh,
this is none of your business. I don't. And the
thing is like, be prepared for the answer, you know
what I mean, because you might ask did I come

(01:33:47):
up in therapy? And I might be like yeah, and
then you might be like oh, and then either you're
gonna ask me what happened. I probably won't say, but
you're gonna into it that it probably wasn't great, or
that you were a long discussion, or you're gonna be like,
oh cool, and then you're gonna spin out for hours
about how you came up in therapy. And I don't
think so, honey, that I'm gonna tell you. So you're

(01:34:08):
gonna be alone with that spinning. Also like true narcissism
revealed to ask did I come up in therapy? Even
as a joke. My therapy is my therapy. Your therapy
should be your therapy. I'll never ask if I came
up in your therapy. But like, and I just feel
like at this point it's like what happens between me
and Stacy is between me and Stacy, and you have

(01:34:28):
to respect that relationship. And it's one that I've built
over time. We have our thing. You stay at home.
If you're asking, you probably are in my therapy. And
that's one minute. Wow, beautiful. I like that. Thank you.
I just it's happened a couple of times, and I'm like,
do you want the answer? I don't think they do.
I don't think they do. I don't think they do.
A guy, it has been three people have brought this

(01:34:50):
up to me. Have I come up in therapy? I
haven't asked you that question. No, I don't think you've
asked me. Did You wouldn't ask any therapy because it's
you do come up once a session. Sure, it's but
it's like it's the equival like lurking on like a
message board or like searching your own name.

Speaker 2 (01:35:08):
Yeah, it's like you don't want to know, don't I
actually don't want to know.

Speaker 3 (01:35:11):
It's better for you to not ask, and it's better
for me to not just stay.

Speaker 1 (01:35:14):
Yeah, I just it's it's it's my business, my version,
my version. But by the way, when I say you
come up in therapy. It's just because you're constant in
my life, so you're always, You're always. Can you see
that I did not inquire further? And those are boundaries
my version, my bestie, my boundaries, boundaries, my version, boundaries,

(01:35:35):
my person Taylor's version. Anyways, Okay, are you ready? Yeah, okay,
it's actually it's actually pertinent to this thing where were
discussing earlier. This is Bowen Yang's. I don't think so
many as time starts now, I don't think so many.

Speaker 2 (01:35:47):
Q tips aren't supposed to go in your ears. They
keep telling us this, and yet no amount of p
R of messaging of whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:35:59):
It's too late. Yeah, they're in there.

Speaker 2 (01:36:02):
You can't the bell has been wrong. We cannot unring
the bell. You're never going to win, Big Cotton. I'm
so sorry. It's okay, This is this is what happens
when it's it's it's done. I don't know who least
in the box, but this is all we're gonna do
with you. We're not gonna clean our keyboards with this.
We're not gonna crafts with this. We are going to

(01:36:23):
stick this in our ear, whether it's good for us
or not. And Toney it's the only thing that's digging
these little is hitting these veins out of my canals.

Speaker 1 (01:36:34):
Q tips.

Speaker 2 (01:36:35):
There's no point, there's it's fruitless, it's feudal. Let us
do it. Stop it with, says, Then you're gonna get
me angry because I don't like being told what I'm
not supposed to do, because guess what I'm gonna be
doing it.

Speaker 1 (01:36:46):
And that's when minute Bowen hates being told what to
and not to stick in. Tell me what to or not,
don't tell me what goes where. I'll push it where
I need to push it exactly. And the thing is like,
you're right. It is the only way to really get
in there. Get in there and get it out of there,
and do a pencil every now and then, Oh goodness,
a pencil, a pencil like the eraser side of course, pardon,

(01:37:09):
I need a fine point. You are doing a scantron
in your ears. Bowen. That's really bad.

Speaker 3 (01:37:17):
I want you to go back to cute now. I'm
definitely like if you didn't like his, I don't think so, honey.
Now have the context that without the C tip, it's
a pencil, it's a sharp side in.

Speaker 1 (01:37:24):
There's lead, there's lead and poem. It's so crazy, as
a noted fan of the television series Girls, that you
would shove anything in there that could perforate in your drum. Nothing.

Speaker 3 (01:37:35):
What, that's what she says. Nothing smaller than an elbow
in there. Becky and Baker, Hello.

Speaker 1 (01:37:43):
Great star, wonderful, a great star. Okay, Well that was me.
Okay my turn? Are you ready? Okay? I think so? Okay, Okay, Well,
this is the moment people have been waiting for. This
is Caleb hearns. I don't think so, honey. His time
starts now.

Speaker 3 (01:37:56):
I don't think so, honey. Innovation where innovation is not
needed enough. We have done too much. There are so
many things that we already know about. I'm going to
start off by saying, car door handles, we figured that out.

Speaker 1 (01:38:06):
In the nineteen sixties. Oh my god, in the nineteen sixties.
It is a little thing that you pull that opens
the goddamn door. I've had it. Why is it a button? Now?

Speaker 3 (01:38:15):
Why is the button hidden? I have to rub my
hand around the entire frame of the door to find
the button. I have to knock on the door three
times and answer a troll's riddle to get out of
the fucking vehicle.

Speaker 1 (01:38:24):
Yeah, no more new car handles thirty seconds. What else?
Diet coke?

Speaker 3 (01:38:28):
It was working when I asked the restaurant if they
have a diet coke and they say, we actually have
a housemaid artisanal Italian. We all have something else, and
it's a fucking problem. I want diet coke at the restaurant.
We are innovating things at the BlackBerry should have been
where we stopped with phone. Why are we on iPhone seventeen?
The BlackBerry was a perfect phone and we ruined it.
Planes are getting smaller. Why you guys already figured out

(01:38:49):
how to make maxim money for us and make us
more uncomfortable. Ex Second, the overhead be shul get bigger,
the seat sho get bigger, bigger. Stop innovating things that
do not need to be innovated, thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:38:56):
And that's one minute. And it is at this point
that I will say, first, this is a this. We
needed to talk about this, and I want to talk
about hotel lights. Hello, Oh my god, it's not the
first time it's come up. You need to put your
key in there for it to work. You need to
forget it. Oh, I'm so sick of it hotel lights.
What was the other one? I was thinking of toilets everywhere, toilets.

(01:39:18):
What's going on toilets? Because you want to know what everywhere?
Does sell flush now? And they they're like, oh, well,
just hit the button. The buttons are getting smaller and
they're hiding them at different points on the toilet.

Speaker 3 (01:39:29):
Yes, they're they're guys. They're putting out new toothbrushes every day.
We've certainly figured it out. Figure we have figured it out.
There are things that we just figured out. No new
car now, if you want to put the car and drive,
you don't pull it, you just turn like ab no stop.

Speaker 2 (01:39:45):
They're even coming for our ship with the glasses. Hello,
don't innovate on the glasses. What's happening with that? The
fucking ray ban meta?

Speaker 1 (01:39:52):
Yes, it's like crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:39:54):
Nobody ever wear that in front of me?

Speaker 1 (01:39:56):
Yes, ever ever? Ever? Using AI to respond to emails,
I forget it. You don't make like any class.

Speaker 3 (01:40:04):
Eighty five thousand dollars a year to respond to emails.
The least you can do is fucking hit the keys.

Speaker 1 (01:40:08):
Bitch.

Speaker 3 (01:40:08):
I have had it with the innovations. Not get off,
not get off my offense to anyone who's using I
just no offense.

Speaker 1 (01:40:14):
To any anyone who's an innovator, anyone who identifies as
an innovator, no offense.

Speaker 2 (01:40:18):
To you, but just directed at the right thing.

Speaker 3 (01:40:20):
Ten your gap on innovations. That's what I'm asking for.

Speaker 1 (01:40:23):
I truly agree. And there was another. There was another one. Oh,
with email. I hate seeing at the bottom of Gmail
the suggested responses. Sure never makes any fun. Oh, I'm
telling you. Sometimes it'll be like, well, that's a perfect response,
and I'll that's a that's a perfectly loved response or
a good response to this email, and then I actually

(01:40:45):
think about clicking it. I'm like, no, can I based
on principle, I'm not using your answer.

Speaker 3 (01:40:49):
I auto populated one on accident recently, because you know
how Gmail now would just like if you accidently hit
tab it or like type it out for you. It
typed out scarily exactly what I would would have said,
like lowercase, like hey y'all, dashed out like it is
my exact email voice.

Speaker 1 (01:41:03):
It typed it out.

Speaker 3 (01:41:03):
For me, word for word what I needed to respond.
I deleted it, and yeah, I mean I'm not doing
it now. I'm not doing it. It's scary to me.

Speaker 2 (01:41:12):
And watching into the Oklahoma City Hall.

Speaker 1 (01:41:14):
Yes it knows me.

Speaker 2 (01:41:16):
I will say, Cali, you have gorgeous Asian eyes.

Speaker 3 (01:41:19):
You know what, Bowen, thank you for saying that. That
is so beautiful and special.

Speaker 2 (01:41:23):
You have a gorgeous lash length on a beautiful brown
almond adjacent I.

Speaker 3 (01:41:28):
People often think that I am not white, and I'm
not gonna lie to about that. Sometimes people think in
Pacific Islander sometimes they think I'm Hispanic.

Speaker 1 (01:41:35):
Why would you lie about that? I would never lie
about that, And that's what I'm telling you.

Speaker 3 (01:41:38):
Sometimes, you guys, people think I'm not white, and every
time I receive it as a beautiful compliment and really
don't know what to say after I say, unfortunately, I'm
just white. Of course, I think being white is an embarrassment.
It's one of the worst things that's ever happened to me.
And also we can't deny.

Speaker 1 (01:41:50):
There are privileges. No, that's all you have.

Speaker 3 (01:41:52):
Do you guys want to unpack white privilege?

Speaker 1 (01:41:55):
I was thinking today was the day.

Speaker 2 (01:41:57):
Yeah, it's time we did that. Anyway, that's for next
time Caleb comes on.

Speaker 1 (01:42:01):
Yeah, you will return, and also we should do dinner. Dinner.
I actually don't know why I thought you were a
LA person. Well it used to be. Yeah, you were
that used to be. But now I am a New
York person. Okay, Well, Kenny dinner. Whenever we'd like, we're
going to the Fly Look restaurants, a real jerk is
coming through. Three three real jerks are coming. But just
oh my god, we leave and we get a terrible reputation.

(01:42:23):
We were only lovely. Oh that'd be fun, though. It
be kind of fun because at least we know the truth. Yeah, yeah,
that's how I always feel. Yeah, I know the truth.

Speaker 3 (01:42:32):
When I hear rumors about us, and I always am,
I go I the.

Speaker 1 (01:42:34):
Trut least I know the truth. The truth of this
episode was that it was a blast, and you gotta
listen to so true. You gotta watch the special, you
gotta watch Devil Worst Productuo to be to be promoting
Devil Worst Product too, just congrats.

Speaker 3 (01:42:50):
Also funny for me to be promoting It's like, I
think they've got it covered.

Speaker 1 (01:42:55):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:42:55):
I look at that cast list and I'm like, yeah, sure,
Lady Gaga, Yeah sure to Caleb Harre.

Speaker 1 (01:43:01):
And we wanted on the show. Thank you guys for
having me. We Love You. We end every episode with
us with a song what Up Big Spaces Room to
make Masday?

Speaker 6 (01:43:17):
She needs new basis She knows High Stage six.

Speaker 2 (01:43:29):
For more of that, listen to the album and song
WI Happened Spaces by the Checks, Bye Yeah Last Culture.
Racis is the production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players
and iHeartRadio podcasts.

Speaker 1 (01:43:40):
Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, Executive
produced by Anna hasby A and produced by Becca Ramos,
Edited and mixed by Duck Beam and our music is
by Henry Kamerski