"Monstro SarahNicole" (w/ Sarah Sherman)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Look man, Oh, I see you.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
And look over there is that culture. Yes, goodness lost culture,
lost culture calling. We need some laughter today.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
Oh yes, on a week like this, I used to
dream better days.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
I used to dream and I hoped I'd never wake up.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
I had my first amazing sleep of I guess the year,
but I guess the last like six months. I've been
sleeping so bad. What what? What would you attribute your
good sleep to?

Speaker 2 (00:35):
No more, I'm ask no more.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
Oh, you're not using it anymore.

Speaker 3 (00:39):
It's crazy. I think it's the winter time. This is
so deeply boring to talk about.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
But let's just skip it. Let's skip. We need to No, No,
I don't kind of pasture.

Speaker 3 (00:50):
It's I don't like the pasture that you have right now,
a gas bit.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
Because I have an explanation as to why I'm sitting like.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
This ahead, So why don't we just do so? You
had a first thing you wanted to say? Quote this
the first thing. Sarah brought a gun to the studio,
and that's what she wanted us to say. You better,
I have a first thing to say, and you better
ask me again, even though this is not what we
do with our repeat guests, Ask me again, what was
the culture of the state cultures for me?

Speaker 2 (01:16):
What's your explanation for this?

Speaker 1 (01:18):
I have to say like this because as you know,
I came to the studio today with a triangle head.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
Which means is my is my hair a triangle a
pyramid head like in Silent, I couldn't tell if you
wanted to be told yes or no.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
I just like know, if you guys were my friends,
you could be like, girl, you do have triangle had today,
but that's okay, And just Rocket told you what you have?

Speaker 3 (01:40):
You have It's not a triangle shape. It's an isasa.
He drawn a twenty sided figure, not the name.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
Because I said, draw boots. Do you look that up?

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Twenty sided? A twenty sided figure drawn?

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Oh my god, I thought you were in it for
being hilarious.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Point. I saw Sagon.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
I saw the TV Sagon. I saw the TV Gloster.
I saw the TV glost I drink the other night
I saw Segon. Sure our guest is a cast Now
are on Saturday Night Live. She's been on the show before.
She is, you know, just one of our great friends,
one of our great Although this is can I just
say the power of the room directed by Jane Champion,

(02:30):
the power of the room. This is the first time
that three of us have been in the room together. No,
you know what happened. I took a very short hiatus.
I believe it was a one episode hiatus. You were
in Vegas in Kelly Clarks.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
I was in Vegas.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
Doing my thing and you were the guests, and I
was like, great, now I have to have her turn obviously,
right back around and come back.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
That's actually crazy. Why because it's there was one episode
you weren't on and it just happened to be the
episode that your sister was on. I know it was
Island Runner running. We like the same things. I guess
your thing is going to Vegas see Kelly Larks.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
That would be yours. It could be yours too.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
You want to come? I'm going again to see Mariah Shanaiah.
I literally just found out that I'm available and I'm.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
Going Murash and I Do that mean I'm available to?

Speaker 2 (03:16):
Or yes, it means you're available to. You want to come?

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Either?

Speaker 2 (03:19):
Come?

Speaker 3 (03:19):
Wait, Vegas, Vegas lots. We're going to have such a
ball a loss. Sarah's this it could be troubling. Is
she always every week is going we're blacking out this
week after party.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
By the way, First of all, never once happens. And
number two, guess how much it takes me to black out?
Maybe four and a half point two SIPs of one
geon and tag.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
At all.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
Oh no, not a Sherman tank because they would like
to think pancakes on the ceiling after a sip.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
You're kidding me, that's disgusting.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
Well to blackout immediately I thought.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
Wait, is pancakes on the ceiling? Meeting so hard projectilet
hits the ceiling and never.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
Like random sauce.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
Wait, what's the reason you were sitting like that?

Speaker 1 (04:04):
So I could just like kind of like you wouldn't
really see the triangle?

Speaker 2 (04:07):
There's no triangles.

Speaker 3 (04:12):
The correct name of it, She clearly Rebecca clearly said
she couldn't pronounce it. She threw a bunch of sounds
together in her mouth and it that's Rebecca.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
I've never even thought of you as being a Rebecca. Rebecca.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
Wait, your necklace literally not to be like whoa she's bringing.

Speaker 3 (04:43):
So with your name on it? Okay, okay, Rebecca. It's
sort of like how you forget that my full name
is Matthew. If you really think about it for even
two seconds, You'll remember, right, but you would have you
wouldn't have known.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
Wait until you find out about the power of Sarah Nicole.

Speaker 3 (05:04):
Sarah and Sarah Nicole should be your stage name.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
Sarah Sarah Nicole.

Speaker 1 (05:11):
That's my like Ali, it's like your board.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
It's like I just want to see like an Angelina's
photo and like all over it was just Sarah Nicole.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
You be titties rocking.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
I want I want to Rebecca nameplay that says Jewish
American princess wall. I'm Sarah Nicole.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
Prison pump it up with Sarah Cole, Jewish American princess.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
Don't you know we have to get into everyone, Please
welcome into your ears.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
Sarah Sherman, Sarah Triangle Sherman, Sarah the first Nicole, Sara Nicole.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
What was the first thing you had to say? You remember?
What was that?

Speaker 4 (05:48):
Was it?

Speaker 1 (05:48):
The triangle? The way I just because I knew everybody
was gonna be like, sorry, your readers are going to
be opening the book and seeing that.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
I first, I don't like I don't like the way
that you bid you had poison venom wrapped around every
word of that.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
Book.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
I'm feeling naughty Today, there's something I can't stop thinking about.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
As we're watching the new season of The Traders. Starah
has boiled it down to that show basically being people staying.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
To each other.

Speaker 3 (06:22):
But people say, you're being evil, you're being.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
All reality, and like pretense melts away and I forget
all pretend. But it's like they're forgetting that it's a game.

Speaker 3 (06:37):
Right.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
I love that.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
I love and people are really crying hard and feel betrayed.
Like when Okay, so spoiler alert for The Traders if
you haven't watched it, we're gonna talk a little bit
about it.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
When Tony got voted out, that was like, you you're
cop you got him.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
Last year because he was so overwhelmed.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
Oh my god, yes, I forgot.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
And that was like the encapsulation of the problem, which
is like people if they're forgetting that it's a game,
and they're like literally like you're literally being evil, and I'm.

Speaker 3 (07:10):
Thinking, are evil and your behavior is evil and it's
been evil ever since the Traders were chosen, ever since
Alan made his choice. I love whenever they say since
Alan made Alan himself is actually picking.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
But there's something important in.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
The tone that Sarah's embodying, which is you're being evil?

Speaker 1 (07:31):
Do you guys think like it's like d' indis acting
evil evil and it's like forgetting the fact that it was. Well,
that's why they have to say Alan Cumming chose so
that they remember that evil is not inherent construction, because
then they get lost in the sauce and they go
like they start kind They're like, I have to leave
because evil is a foot. Here's a question.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
Do you believe people are born wicked or do they
have wickedness through them?

Speaker 1 (07:57):
And this actually goes into the other second thing I
had to say with the coming into the studio with
a gun.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
We didn't even know you had a second thing, right, didn't.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
We just knew there was a Remember when I said,
I texted you guys and I was like, so, when
are you gonna ask me, like what culture is for me?

Speaker 2 (08:11):
We already asked you the first time you were on
the show. And I actually, quite frankly, we've had it.
Pee wee, we understand pee wee about.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
It again, There is a different and it explains actually
how I feel about the nature of good and evil?

Speaker 3 (08:26):
Okay, okay, because actually I know what was the culture
that made you say culture was for you, Sarah.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
Tell this is the laughing episode. Literally, well it can
be explained. Let's just take a moment because we're about
to miss the worldwide meditation because we're recording this podcast
in honor of David Lynch's memory.

Speaker 3 (08:49):
I was just going to say, you're the perfect person
to have on this week for many David Lynch, for
so many reasons.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Because it's the laughing episode.

Speaker 3 (08:55):
It's the laughing episode. The substance is about to rack
up lots of oscar.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
It's about to rat. I think I was literally thinking.
I was sitting on the toilet as I you know,
as I do, as we all do. And of course,
actually did you find out? That's what I was gonna say.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
What did you know?

Speaker 1 (09:11):
You're not supposed to do on the toilet for longer
than ten minutes?

Speaker 2 (09:13):
Have you ever have something more unfair?

Speaker 3 (09:16):
It's really it's it's such a beautiful place. It's the
best place to remain.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
I love remaining there.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
I said there sometimes and I'm like, I'm gonna remain, remain,
not exit, remain, I will remain.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
What am I thinking of? What remains? Is that an
Oprah's bestseller?

Speaker 2 (09:31):
What remains Christmas Seller?

Speaker 1 (09:36):
What remains do you? Does anyone have the.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
Capability of You're thinking of what lies? What lies?

Speaker 3 (09:42):
You're thinking of what happened by Hillary Clinton, which was
about the election, but.

Speaker 1 (09:47):
You're thinking what remains awesome? What remains access.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
I think you're thinking of I couldn't be that you're
thinking of the good Earth by Pearls.

Speaker 1 (10:04):
I think that's what I'm.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
So what was the culture that man? You say culture?

Speaker 1 (10:09):
I do think I really I think we we do
have to be taking a moment for last. Culture is
just to say, David Lynch, Okay, yeah, so I think
I produce you.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
I basically know nothing. I am so illiterate with David.

Speaker 3 (10:24):
We've actually been saying now for several months that we're
going to get into Twin Peaks.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
You should you know why? You guys should? You love
beautiful women and you love intrigue love.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
Yeah, that's actually true. That's actually so true.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
And I don't want to spoil anything, but basically, in
the larger in the three season arc of Twin Peaks,
you guys are looking at me so seriously.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
Because you're you're a expert.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
I just think that it's like you guys really take
women's voices seriously.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
You literally go, you guys are being evil.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
You guys are being evil, actually really evil. Do you
think you be a good trader or a bad trader?

Speaker 2 (11:02):
You'd be an amazing trader.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
I think no, because remember every time in a sketch,
I have to act serious.

Speaker 2 (11:09):
Well, you're like Carolyn in a way, like you're like
you're so hard to pin down.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
It's like she's acting crazy.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
It's like you're both the same in that way. Everyone's like, oh,
Sarah's being Sarah, but in fact she is deep down.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
But do the face that I do when I'm trying
to act serious.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
This is this is if you tell Sarah she has
to like be like serious or keep a straight face
in his sketches, this is the best you can do.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
I notice it you're doing a straight man role. Is
my favorite.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
Because it's like we are on stage doing a comedy show,
right serious, but you but Sarah, But Sarah is truly
joy And then like I happened to be laughing and
they're like, oh, you're in a court scene, and so
I'm like.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
Can you do your court face please?

Speaker 3 (12:08):
But Sarah was in the nos Faratu prosthetics this Saturday,
she slayed by the way, and meanwhile, like it's she's
supposed to look terrifying, but everyone's like, that's the most
adorable person of ever.

Speaker 1 (12:18):
Alstair did call me at ten am the next morning
and said, did you know that you actually looked like
a supermodel?

Speaker 2 (12:24):
You did? You were so captivating? You have never looked
to say that, did you actually?

Speaker 1 (12:32):
And I was like, no, I know, my arms are
so skinny. It was like insane because like when when
you have a hunchback and like kind of like does
the optical illusion where it's like your arm actually starts.

Speaker 3 (12:41):
Oh you do, like the Liah Michelle thing like this, yeah, yeah,
can you were like but like skinny? She caught cigarette
dangling from the lips, not Fasera, not Sarah Heroin. She
to Monstro Sarah Monstros, Sarah Nicols. Who when you say

(13:05):
title like this one, you're a professional. The way it
rolls off the tongue, like without barrier, That's how you
know he's a profession How you know I'm professional?

Speaker 2 (13:15):
The way it rolls off my tongue.

Speaker 3 (13:16):
I know when we get the title and Monstros Sarah Nicole,
is the title.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
The first thing that happens when I'm having a laughing attack,
is sweating before laughing coming out of my mouth. That's amazing,
Like you can probably see it glistening and think it's
like a dewey shine. But I'm profusely sweating because I'm
laughing so hard.

Speaker 3 (13:33):
Wait on sweating, just to just to talk about the
Traders one more time? What is going on with Oh?

Speaker 1 (13:40):
I think he's on like crack.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
Is he having some sort of withdrawal?

Speaker 3 (13:49):
Vander Pump rolls. He never acts like that. He goes
to a Scottish palace where they have no phones or
he has to travel internationally. Yeah, and then suddenly he
couldn't sit bill and he's sweating so much more than yes.

Speaker 1 (14:03):
Can I tell you guys, actually something that I was
too afraid to admit like four minutes ago.

Speaker 2 (14:07):
I don't have to be afraid in here.

Speaker 1 (14:09):
As soon as they spoiler alert, as soon as they stop,
as soon as they voted after Rinda, I literally this
is I was watching with my boyfriend. I am like this,
what's this? I can't keep well, I can't hold my attention.

Speaker 3 (14:25):
It was actually really rough because they've voted out some
good people.

Speaker 1 (14:28):
Really that is.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
Gone it's kind of a shame. Yeah, who because then
and Jeremy, that's crazy. Are you not caught up?

Speaker 1 (14:42):
No, I'm not kidding every time my boyfriend and I'm straight.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
By the way, that's okay.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
Don't let the shirt betray you. I'm standing with my
straight girls.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
What did I say about your shirt that's giving SpongeBob?

Speaker 1 (14:58):
Because look, that's what you meant.

Speaker 2 (15:03):
I was like, what SpongeBob is? This is this sponge like?

Speaker 3 (15:06):
I thought she was like, Oh, we thought I was
calling you like I thought.

Speaker 2 (15:12):
You were just being a bitch.

Speaker 1 (15:14):
I take back what I said about how you guys
feel about women. Yeah, guys, I don't think what about us?

Speaker 2 (15:24):
What about Dawn Away?

Speaker 3 (15:27):
You know, it's not just katies that listen. Some gig
guys do listen. Still hot on Kyle's that's Kyle. There's
a subgroup that we actually we said that we would
officially induct them.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
No, we can't have five. What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (15:42):
They said we.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
Couldn't have two, They said we couldn't have three, They
said we couldn't have four. Kyles Welcome, Welcome. We love
the Kyle with you guys.

Speaker 3 (15:53):
It's crazy. I think about Sarah every day and I smile.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
I have nothing to contribute to the conversation.

Speaker 2 (15:59):
Guys.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
I just want to sit here and smile. I just
want to go guys.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
Try I tell you, whould be so furious about that?
All the Kyles they want to hear from you. Yeah, there,
you're that you're a gay icon.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
Are you? I'm not kidding, like, I don't take that lightly.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
And I should.

Speaker 3 (16:14):
If you did, that would be fucked up, especially now
in the time that we're in.

Speaker 1 (16:19):
He's sworn, like he's getting sworn.

Speaker 2 (16:21):
Oh no, I watched the whole thing.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
How is was he?

Speaker 3 (16:24):
Can I tell you something? Here's my here's my three takeaways.
It was hell and like a funeral. Two one nice
thing I'll say I did like Millennia's hat. Three Carrie
Underwood sounded bad for all of that to go down
and for her to sound strained and shouty.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
Really, yeah, it was not good.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
Are you a Carrie girl?

Speaker 3 (16:45):
Or I can't say I was carry girl. I've never
really given her proppers on this show. You want to
know what it is, I've always not had the best feeling.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
Yeah, the vibes have always been weird.

Speaker 3 (17:00):
Does this make you go Buyer's remorse on bo Bis
do we as a culture? Well, I was von Zie
Solomon Grilly from the beginning, and I love von Zelle
and Vonzelle was the singer for game show on period.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
Wait who was long hair? I got my first period?

Speaker 2 (17:21):
And that's the culture that made you say monarchy. I'm bleeding.

Speaker 1 (17:27):
Like it wasn't happening.

Speaker 2 (17:28):
You remember what he was singing, because it was always
to handle co and mama hand.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
Was it that? Because the way that just sent like
a reptilian like chill to the bass in my spine.
He had a brown swede jacket on and was holding
her guitar.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
He was always loving to happen.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
Tone perfectly, like flat ironed hair, like really straight stuff.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
Laid when you guys said bobys, I thought the guy
with the gray hair.

Speaker 2 (17:58):
Hot Taylor Haylors.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
He was hot.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
Zus, Sarah, you need to describe your perfect looking man.
Describe your perfect man.

Speaker 1 (18:06):
Do you know what I think it is. I want
to preface this by saying, I think because I've been
a lot of prefacing and pretensing today. I think because
my boyfriend straight.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
Push your weapons down, Push your weapons down.

Speaker 1 (18:21):
All right? Comm and peace there guys, they're cold, Kyles,
I comment peace Kyle's and katies like Mariah's and shanaias.

Speaker 2 (18:33):
They're not listening. I forgot she did this.

Speaker 1 (18:38):
Like deathbed vibes. When y'all are on your deathbed, like,
oh yeah a style you can go like we did that.

Speaker 3 (18:45):
Yeah you know period, Well we're gonna say we ate that,
and when we're seventy nine.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
We're going to be like servants slay we ate that down?
Which are death bed for you? Two is gonna be one,
one hundred and fifteen years old.

Speaker 2 (19:02):
I can actually see it. I gues, I don't want
to live that long. He's gonna look the same like
and not the heroin chic Honey, I'm so old and
for three damn you drive yourself there, old bitch, old bitch. Okay, wait,
so were we were on a thing the perfect?

Speaker 1 (19:25):
I think because mylor hicks, because I think my beautiful,
long suffering boyfriend is so like he's so like standard cute, attractive,
and you know, he invented a new term. What it's beautiful.
It's when something's cute and beautiful.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
Isn't that beautiful? Isn't that lovely?

Speaker 1 (19:43):
Beautiful? That crazy.

Speaker 2 (19:45):
Really from we want to hear about him?

Speaker 1 (19:49):
Where was he from? Originally from South Sumber's, Chicago, all right,
and like he's from a town called phlosmore so, of
course you get building jokes like I wish you'd philosophers.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
Well, what I want to do?

Speaker 1 (20:01):
That bleeding?

Speaker 2 (20:06):
I don't fluss, You don't.

Speaker 1 (20:08):
You're a liar. You have the nicest teeth of the
show business.

Speaker 2 (20:11):
Just what they're telling you is not true. You don't
have to do it.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
Oh but did you ever have braces? You're lying?

Speaker 3 (20:19):
And some people think I have crooked teeth, But it's
because I talk out of one side of my mouth.

Speaker 1 (20:23):
With a smirk like Rachel Maddow, something I found out
when I had to do my research. Of course, ate
that by the way, No, by the way, you know
I at the second my toe came off stage, every
single person was like, ha, you messed up all your words?
Who said that? Everyone's live television. Try saying MSNBC ten
times fast. Okay, I had to say it one time

(20:45):
and I said ms n B A B.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
You're trying to say it. They could do it if
you really applied yourself.

Speaker 3 (20:52):
You were you were straining so hard playing a lesbian.
I know you're such a stragot.

Speaker 1 (20:58):
I think that's what happened, and then my brain just
started like fritzing out.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
You are a stragot.

Speaker 1 (21:02):
You are literally thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
Can I ask you something before you got emotional when
we said that you were a gay icon and that
you really don't take it like I just talk about that.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
Because I mean not to be like this. Who do
you think besides David Lynch built culture as we know
it gay guys.

Speaker 2 (21:24):
It feels like you took that away from her from
black women. That sucks.

Speaker 3 (21:27):
That sucks for you to rob the black women of that,
and especially this week. Does anyone know it really is
really hurtful?

Speaker 1 (21:35):
Didn't she okay, I dreamed this or it was real?
Does And I'm not gonna look it up because that's
I don't need to be like interfacing with screens right now.
Didn't she have an episode where she had a bunch.

Speaker 3 (21:47):
Of pedophiles on, well, she had an episode she had
a bunch of the She had another episode she had
like victims.

Speaker 2 (21:56):
Today we're hearing the other side.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
I just have this like strong memory of her being
like I was like two or whatever like this big
and there was like a bunch of pedophiles on. She
was like, it sucks that you guys like want have
sucks with kids. And then I was like watching me,
like that does suck. Oh my god, that's fun. It's
a kid. I agree with Oprah. I have to say
in this dialogue, I'm team Oprah.

Speaker 2 (22:23):
Fuck.

Speaker 1 (22:24):
Meanwhile, me being eight, being like I wish an adult
want to have stuck with. I was in love with
all my teachers. Really, of course I was like precocious
little bit who was who.

Speaker 2 (22:35):
Was the one? Oh wow?

Speaker 3 (22:39):
And he's moaning and is this out of shame or
out of pure sexual frustration? It is just like what,
I'm afraid of your other lips, Jesus, oh nurse.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
I'm afraid of saying his full name because you could
find you non't I had an English This is gonna
send you guys to the moon in a not SpaceX
rocket ship and a normal rocket.

Speaker 3 (23:09):
Okay, normal one that uses American gas drill, baby drill.
Something Trump said today at the inauguration about what I
don't know about drackens baby drill.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
Anyway, what were you saying? Okay, so this is this
teacher English teacher, English teacher.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
He had a gray and red long beard. Okay, red
gray hair combed over to the side, much like our president.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
Combed over age demographic one hundred like legit.

Speaker 1 (23:39):
One hundred years old. Every day, would wear like a
snoopy tie and would the character Snoopy, the character Snoopy
a funny little tie, and he me and my best
friend in high school, Emily, would sit in the parking
lot and watch him smoke his pipe in his car
during lunch break and just be like, that is so
fucking hot.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
It's giving. What's the guy's name, the giver, the give,
it's giving the giver, Oh, my god, the giver. And
I was I was saying Vincent van Go in my head.

Speaker 1 (24:10):
Not not dissimilar, not he actually quite looked like him.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
Who's the Watchman guy, Alan More, Alan Moore? It's giving
Alan Moore with.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
A snoopy tie.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
That hot.

Speaker 1 (24:21):
And he would smoke a fucking pipe in his car
and me and Emily would just like watch him in
his car.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
Are you still in touch with Emily?

Speaker 3 (24:27):
Of course, Emily, Hello, if you're if you're a Long Island,
is that y'all keep in touch with high school?

Speaker 2 (24:33):
Definitely?

Speaker 3 (24:34):
Touched with my friend Alison last night, isn't hey? I said, hey,
well we had a mutual friend at the birthday bar
oh cute.

Speaker 1 (24:41):
Oh instead, like, let's go to Roosevelt Field get our
ears pierced.

Speaker 3 (24:44):
Oh my god, ield but it was it was too far.
Soo you women, mall No, I was Sunrise mall like
you are.

Speaker 1 (24:53):
So I have to give respect to you because, like, honestly,
something crazier to even more iconic to say than you're
a gay icon. You are an actual Long Island legend.
Like you are not from we're fucking around Long is
You were from like a Long Island, Long Island.

Speaker 2 (25:06):
I'm for real, you're new.

Speaker 3 (25:09):
To this, He's I'm always new to this. Anytime I
go to Long Island, I go, whoa, it's no one.

Speaker 1 (25:15):
Knows what happened to us. Yeah, it's so crazy, the
things that we saw, the things we did. Yeah, and
the things that we you know, aspired to be named
the craziest.

Speaker 2 (25:24):
Thing from from Nicky Bond. I mean, just wuld you say, Nicky,
she's a island legends.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
Her mom once came up to me, You're kidding, Wait,
I actually have.

Speaker 2 (25:37):
The cher Nicky Blonski's mother came up.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
To me at my school. I think she came to
my school to perform. I felt like they were scouting
and I was like, for hair spray. Oh my god,
that's perfect. I don't know them again, what did she say?
From Penny that's fucking little shop? What what did she say?

(26:14):
Like musical songs?

Speaker 2 (26:18):
We got a tear Broadway show, Arah, I didn't know.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
I would die for kinky boots. We had a kinky
boot sketch idea. What was our Oh?

Speaker 2 (26:31):
Yeah, yeah, sure, what was it?

Speaker 1 (26:32):
What did it was?

Speaker 2 (26:34):
We wanted a sequel to Distrek the musical sketch?

Speaker 3 (26:36):
What was.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
You come out with? You're clearly putting on the kinky boots.
What is it, Matilda?

Speaker 3 (26:48):
You clearly put on the kinky boots. Writing that sketch
was a highlight of my life.

Speaker 2 (26:54):
It's so rare to channel Oh, we channeled wid you
to let the muse VisiC. We literally flopped it down
in one run and we were like, it's perfect. Have
you ever seen Hamilton the musical? I know that how
could a bastard or that's not you would love it? Really,
It's a great show.

Speaker 3 (27:13):
A great shows. And also if nothing else, like it's
production value.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
Yes, I don't, don't get me started on that, because
I'm feeling really emotional about production value lately.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
What's what's going on?

Speaker 1 (27:23):
What do you is? Just like give it to me?
And I'm not you guys know who you are who
aren't giving it to me? Just in general? Yep, I
want to see lights, camera, sound sets, costume.

Speaker 3 (27:36):
Can we get really into this though? We washed the
substance together, and I did think of you, ad you
love that movie?

Speaker 1 (27:43):
I basically loved it more than the words can even expressaame.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
And I finally watched that thirty minute I'm feature at
that so YouTube so good. You have to check that out.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
If fucking holding the camera running backwards, posing everyone down
with blood, I'm like, that's if you want to know
how it's done, that's how it's done.

Speaker 2 (27:58):
With her.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
Rely, let this be a message. Do you want to
talk about this? Coraly? I love you and what you've
done and what you will continue to do, and what
has happened and what will soudent to be happening all
over until like the perpetuity till the end of time, like.

Speaker 3 (28:15):
What you were saying a lot and all of it
is impacting exactly hearing Lely, you did it?

Speaker 1 (28:26):
Correct you that you did that? That when it kept going,
when it just kept going, and then the teeth and
then the ears, and then the blood hoose and the
music and the lights, camera, sound, Coustard whatever, as we
were just saying, yeah, it didn't for one second stop.

(28:46):
It gave us everything relentlessly and more. It's an incredible,
perfect film. It's a perfect film. It's hilarious. Down yeah, down,
it's it's as you say, feast for the eyes. It's everything.

Speaker 3 (29:02):
It was.

Speaker 1 (29:02):
She's my favorite, She's everything.

Speaker 3 (29:04):
Yeah, there's been little meetings. There's listen, you've met a
couple of times.

Speaker 1 (29:08):
We met one time and I was struck by her beauty.
She's stunning and she's hilarious.

Speaker 2 (29:16):
When did you meet her?

Speaker 1 (29:17):
I I've been like stalking her because I just like,
I'm like, you're amazing.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
Were you a fan prior to seeing this substance? Like
did you see Revenge?

Speaker 1 (29:26):
I love Revenge and I love every You know when
you like see someone's movie and you're like, I hope
see words escape me. That's how much I care.

Speaker 5 (29:36):
Yeah, and like you could just see like it's like
she's such a like fan of horror movies too, and
so it's like as a fan of the thing, as
a fan of like basket Case or whatever, you watch
that movie and you're like, yeah, thank you.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
This feels like a Christmas tree. Amazing, I know, and
just like I yeah, she's just listen, I know, lost
for words.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
Were you to me and Margaret fan prior to this
or did this expose you to their gifts?

Speaker 1 (30:06):
Both of them fans? Yeah, both of them fans, but
like now I am on my knees forever. In their
debt basically.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
Their names called Tomorrow. Yeah, I hope so too.

Speaker 1 (30:19):
Who's calling?

Speaker 2 (30:21):
Do you know? I'm calling? Bowen? Bowen and Rachel Sennett
are announcing the nominations. Can you a big day for
Union Hall?

Speaker 1 (30:33):
Oh my gosh, it's You're going to my no, no what?

Speaker 3 (30:39):
This comes out Wednesday and then I'm going to be
I'm literally leaving read Through and catching a plane into
LA and then Thursday morning, five thirty a m PT.
We're announcing, and then I got.

Speaker 2 (30:47):
A fly back for I wouldn't miss it. I think
it's such an honor. I'm so honored.

Speaker 3 (30:51):
It's like literally the coolest thing I love that I wanted.
I aspire to announce the nominations.

Speaker 1 (30:56):
Small things.

Speaker 2 (30:57):
He's always smalling you smallen because you smalling.

Speaker 3 (31:02):
Well, first of all, we're not talking about him harmful
individuals today.

Speaker 1 (31:07):
Who gave us a laugh? If we're talking about the laughing. Oh,
he gave us a laugh a couple laughs. It's like,
I'm gonna be like, that's how he says that. This
is how he delivers, not how I deliver it. But you,
I know you have to small on it because you're
just trying to keep your head on your shoulders and
you're like clocking in and clock like it's like if
things were too big, like you would almost be scared

(31:29):
to do it totally. But it's like that is that
is major.

Speaker 2 (31:33):
You're right, he does he smallens things, but he's excited.
I'm excited. Is that leaf bothering you on your head?
Because did you notice that my girl has a leaf
on her head?

Speaker 1 (31:54):
No, it's not on well, it's very what's gonna be.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
Gorgeous head, gorgeous head, stunning heads head.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
I'm changing that.

Speaker 2 (32:04):
What say this? But this is my theory. The word
that is so powerful, so powerful, the way it hits
the ear is just different. Really. I was watching a
body language expert talk about Blake Lively. Just let that
sink in.

Speaker 3 (32:20):
I was watching a body language expert talking about Blake
Lively and Justin Baldoni, and there was a moment where
an interview says to Blake Lively like, well, you actually
had to be the intimacy cordner on set, like you
had to show him out to grab you and kiss you.
And she goes, where did you see this? And the
body language expert said that use of the word this

(32:41):
is usually to like show that you disdain whatever it
is they've brought up all this. What's what do you
mean by this? This?

Speaker 2 (32:53):
The word this is positively or inclusively.

Speaker 1 (32:58):
I'm picturing when you say this. Some that's just coming
to mind is like peeling dirty underwear off the floor.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
A wife This is this?

Speaker 1 (33:05):
Yeah, A wife coming home peals a woman's underwear from
the bottom of the basket and going what is this
to my husband? I've I've been working all day and
who is this? You would just say, what is that?

Speaker 2 (33:19):
You just ate that line, By the way, what is
this again?

Speaker 1 (33:22):
Again? Think about the directors out there, I'm free think
about this. Who did this, now say that, sorry, who
did this?

Speaker 2 (33:34):
And now do the other one?

Speaker 1 (33:36):
Who did that? See I'm not threatened by that.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
Who did this?

Speaker 1 (33:40):
What's up with that?

Speaker 2 (33:41):
What's up with this?

Speaker 3 (33:42):
Although we were talking about this scene from mad Men,
Joan confronting the man.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
I wouldn't care if you died that pornographic drawing.

Speaker 2 (33:50):
Pornographic drawing.

Speaker 3 (33:53):
I actually I've been watching so much mad Men clips
the number one best scene in television history.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
I'm kidding you, not Joan and Don.

Speaker 3 (34:05):
It's the episode where Joan gets served with divorce papers
in the office that like front desk secretary gives like
allows the last It's the fifth season, which by the way,
has no skips. So so Don and Joan go to
like they go to the Jaguar dealership and then like
they pretend to be a couple and then they go
to the bar and they get a little drunk and

(34:26):
they turn on the jukebox music and they have the
scene at the bar that talks about like the kind
of people they are and the kind of people that
are in the bar, and it's about them, but it's not.
The writing and the acting is so they're unbelievable. Christina
Hendricks no, Emmy.

Speaker 1 (34:43):
Well, by the way, like I don't want to say
anything disrespectable, but it's like, let's get her out there.

Speaker 2 (34:50):
I agree, I would definitely agree.

Speaker 1 (34:54):
Do you think I'm gonna say something on behalf of
all women?

Speaker 2 (34:57):
Is she?

Speaker 5 (34:57):
So?

Speaker 2 (34:59):
Is she?

Speaker 3 (35:00):
So?

Speaker 1 (35:01):
Is she so stunningly Jessica Rabbit that people are afraid
and this is just about misogyny and a larger scale.
Are people afraid to give her like challenging roles because
they're like, she's so bodacious, we couldn't even.

Speaker 3 (35:16):
I don't think it's distracting. I think it's I think
she with Joan, I guess like it is so one
with like the character. I think it has a lot
less to do with that and more to do with
the fact that it's almost like the reason why January
Jones and Jessica Pare also don't work a ton.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
It's because I feel like they're very identifiable with those roles,
and they were so well done that maybe it.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
Counts against them sometimes I am because I think that
I think all of those performances are unreal.

Speaker 2 (35:50):
I think Jessica Pere actually gets disrespectful.

Speaker 3 (35:52):
Amazan was incredible, is an iconic, is the is in
the first episode of season five, and it gets better
from there.

Speaker 2 (36:01):
Zoobie Zoobie Zoo is the craziest.

Speaker 1 (36:06):
It is the craziest thing, so insane. And then you
see Twin Peaks and you go, that's okay, some crazy
things are happening here that are basically like defying all
like logic between like the living and the dreaming and
the dead. And then you're like, and still Zuby zub
Zoo were still the fact that.

Speaker 3 (36:23):
Zooby Zoobi Zoo is supposed to happen in a grounded world,
and it still reads us being like realistic, and you
believe that she would do that, and it says pretty
much everything you need to know about her character. But
zoobyzubso happened on AMC. Twin Peaks happened on a b
C truly, which is that's the craziest part.

Speaker 2 (36:41):
Take that risk now, challenge.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
You guys are actually gonna lose your gorg. Basically, you're
gonna at the top of your hat is gonna fly off,
clean off.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
Clean off.

Speaker 3 (36:51):
I just have no stamina when it comes to watching shit,
So like, I'm still on the pile. I've been on
the pilot episode of twin Peaks for like eight years.
It's so bad that is making so but but I
started from the getting like recently, even before he passed away,
just like when the mom like realizes that like she's gone,
she's dad, it's like the most devastating thing. And the

(37:12):
Laura Palmer's theme, like the muse that score is crazy.

Speaker 1 (37:14):
I think once you enter episode two, then it's full
lubrication and it's a NonStop, really cool like I don't
think you're gonna find any resistance there. I think it's
just like slipping in that second episode allow it to
just it's just it's the way it feels all of
your body when you're watching it. It's it's as sounding
and I will say, and not to belabor this point

(37:37):
the labor, I know, I'm justn't going to be meeting.

Speaker 3 (37:42):
A PhD to well, you know what, you clearly weren't
paying attention to English class because you were so horned
up with your trying to get your rocks off with.

Speaker 2 (37:49):
Vincent vin Snoop.

Speaker 1 (37:51):
Saw who I was talking about. You go oh, okay
in a good way.

Speaker 3 (37:57):
Anytime Sarah's like that, fucking what I would do. I'm
like the craziest looking human being.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
You're like the crypt keep crypt yeah, Taylor Head, no disrespect,
Billy Bob Thorn, now.

Speaker 2 (38:12):
Keep going.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
And this sow like because I think, damn my, my
beautiful along suppering boyfriend is so conventionally cute beautiful that
it's like, I think it's like it's counterwd. Yes, it's
a counterweight.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
I love that.

Speaker 3 (38:28):
So you're so bored with traditional beauty because you get
that every day, in fact, you have sex with in fact,
if he's lucky, yeah, you.

Speaker 2 (38:37):
The kind of girl holds out.

Speaker 3 (38:39):
This becomes like a whole other, like all right, podcast
either kind of girl that leaves it on the shelf.

Speaker 2 (38:43):
You know what I mean. I've made that expression up.
You leave it on the shelf at night.

Speaker 1 (38:46):
On the shelf at night, you let it stink up
the place. So mad because it's the xpery date is.

Speaker 3 (38:58):
Just think they say that they don't have sex, they
start that's where their pussy starts to really smell bad.

Speaker 1 (39:03):
What was the last time you smelled one face to face?

Speaker 2 (39:09):
I've never seen a vagina.

Speaker 1 (39:12):
It's one of the and they cover this in many movies.
It's one of the most craziest.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
Things you can see, well, how would we know?

Speaker 1 (39:21):
How would we I didn't bring mine tonight. It's in
the car.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
What's your least favorite body? Part two? Depict in your
in your art?

Speaker 1 (39:33):
Oh interesting, this is going to be a surprise, please.
I don't like as someone who loved blood, guts, ships, boogers.
I'm like, what do we two?

Speaker 3 (39:45):
I get no stuff? You don't like nos. I love nose,
but you don't like booger.

Speaker 1 (39:52):
I think it's like we're older than that.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
Yeah, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (39:55):
That's so I love this that there is one thing
that you go that's off, like I'm leaving. That's just
there's an edit there, there's.

Speaker 1 (40:07):
And I love I love mucoid membranes. So I love
like a slick mucus.

Speaker 2 (40:14):
Like you know, you don't like a clump. You don't
like a clump of booger.

Speaker 1 (40:17):
But again, it's like we're guys.

Speaker 2 (40:21):
Really when you see someone pick your nose that you horrified.

Speaker 1 (40:25):
Rather, no, I do this. That's part of my practice.
It's I think it's a medical proceed It's like, do
you have.

Speaker 2 (40:33):
To Sometimes it's like it's not. It's not as easy
as blowing your nose.

Speaker 1 (40:37):
No, No, you have to get it. Sometimes you have
to get nuckled deep and that's okay.

Speaker 2 (40:42):
And again this was really thank you, thank you for coming.

Speaker 1 (40:48):
Should I make it?

Speaker 4 (40:48):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (40:49):
I was gonna say they should make a nasal bidet,
but that is what a nettie pot.

Speaker 2 (40:54):
Is, you know, of course.

Speaker 1 (40:56):
And oh this was gonna be the why my my
last like my hands knees, begging for you guys to
watch twin Peaks in it in its three season arc.
It posits a theory of everything spiritually, like, religiously, metaphysically
that I legitimately agree with.

Speaker 2 (41:17):
In life everything is love or love is the most
important thing. What is it? You don't know?

Speaker 3 (41:22):
You don't want to spoil it? I think you should
because I don't.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
Think this is spoiling necessarily necessarily serious Necessarious.

Speaker 2 (41:29):
I don't think this is necessariously spoiling.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
Anything necessarious, but it's Necessariusssterious is my favorite dinosaur.

Speaker 2 (41:41):
She was beautiful.

Speaker 3 (41:42):
Have you, guys readers, please draw Necessarious and send us
in your pictures us, all three of us and the
Atlas culturis with your photos that you've drawn of Necessarius.

Speaker 1 (41:53):
But you have to like then like write it like
Necessarah a h.

Speaker 2 (41:59):
Spell, it says Sarennicoli, keep going.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
So like, yes, that love is actually the greatest unifying
force in the universe. But you know, Twin Peaks is
the I'm gonna be so serious right now, it's gonna
make you laugh that it's like the story of like
who killed Laura Palmer? Right And I'm not gonna spoil
the great reveal of who killed Laura Palmer for you
because that'll keep you on the hook for at least

(42:29):
a season and a half. But like, you know, there's
so much like pain and violence and trauma towards this
like young high school girl and towards like all the
women in this universe or whatever, and there's like great
pain and trauma and while like love prevails basically in

(42:51):
the great episode eight season three of Twin Peaks, which
is like the return which happened, what was that like
really a lost culture?

Speaker 2 (43:00):
You just know, don't you doing? Don't small on, don't
small it.

Speaker 1 (43:09):
Basically, he pausits that true evil was unleashed into every
dimension in realm of the universe when the first atomic
bond atomic bomb exploded, so that a new kind of
man made evil basically fractured all of time, all of

(43:30):
the fabric of time space, and at least a new
form of evil in the form of Bob who is
this demon that you know create whatever. In Twin Peaks,
it at least a new form of evil that like
wreaked a new form of havoc.

Speaker 2 (43:45):
On every universe, every universe of every time.

Speaker 1 (43:49):
Yes, and so like that is the the like central
conflict of Twin Peaks, which is said by you know,
General Briggs when he says, you know, there's this Bobby
Briggs hottest man alive. His dad is like a crazy
like military like general who like does ship with space

(44:09):
or whatever. H Oh, I'm not sounding smart. He's a
drink dia cog.

Speaker 2 (44:19):
If that was the answer.

Speaker 1 (44:23):
President Trump, wouldn't it be trying to my Austria or whatever?

Speaker 2 (44:30):
Is he you don't need to die coke.

Speaker 1 (44:34):
But like basically he's worried. He's this like general who's
been who like is like you know, in charge of
investigating like the link between like American like military hegemony
and like nuclear mysticism whatever whatever. And he's like, my
fear is that love is not enough. So that basically
when man Kind episodes on man basically unleashed a new

(44:54):
kind of evil into the world when we created the
nuclear bomb. He's worried that love is not enough and
and that's kind of what like the return follows is
like all these characters that you remember from twenty years
ago feeling this trauma in every dimension of every like time, space, continuum, whatever.
And you know, and this is why, you know Oppenheimer

(45:16):
won the Oscar and this is ultimately why. But this
is what's crazy.

Speaker 2 (45:22):
Yep, come on, I can feel use this rage in
a positive way.

Speaker 3 (45:28):
We all need to do that, especially now it's more
than ever that's organized starting now. Use this female rage
about Oppenheimer.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
It was crazy.

Speaker 2 (45:40):
Use your female rage against Oppenheimer to make a big
point episode.

Speaker 1 (45:44):
Should have won the Oscar? Say that, yeah, you know,
it couldn't have been nominated for Oscar. Maybe if you
were announcing the Oscars.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
You could have just said, Season three, episode eight.

Speaker 1 (45:54):
Yes, that is what I believe about the universe, like
about religion and everything that David Lynch put in a
fucking TV show that anyone could watch.

Speaker 2 (46:03):
That's amazing.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
And that's what culture is. For me and for you
and for you and for everybody. It's culture. That's for everybody.

Speaker 2 (46:08):
Yeah, it's not.

Speaker 1 (46:09):
It's not culture that you find in a little box
at like Bucket Blood Records in Chicago, cool weirdest store
with a bunch of you.

Speaker 3 (46:17):
Know, like freaks, back weird weirdos, the outcasts, the misfits,
those who haven't belonged once in their life that can
find community in a place like that, in a place
like this. Quite frankly, this and I don't say this
in a pejorative sense. I say it in an inclusive way,
really not giving much credence to my point earlier, which
shows that people can change.

Speaker 2 (46:38):
You saying people can change.

Speaker 3 (46:39):
I've changed obviously in the last twenty minutes here I
am using this in a beautiful, inclusive way, when before
I said it was usually in a dismissive way. It's
just really interesting. I've credit you with bringing up, not
bringing up, with bringing yourself to the conversation today period.

Speaker 2 (46:58):
No, I was gonna keep going.

Speaker 1 (47:02):
Queerdos is a culture. It's not just for the queerdos once.

Speaker 2 (47:11):
Too good for too long, And this is what brings.

Speaker 1 (47:13):
Back to traders.

Speaker 2 (47:17):
Running around.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
Yes, a lot of queer yes, ma'am. When you asked me,
are people inherently good or evil. It can be answered
in episode Hey, that's an incredible callback.

Speaker 2 (47:31):
And the answer would get they're saying is no, people
are born good. We're born good until the until the
Great Disruption, the Great Disruption, and it there were.

Speaker 1 (47:41):
So many fractures and fissures in time space that it
can that like this, like demonic force can really crawl
in kind of whether or not you invite it, because
we've created man Fisher fissure, fissure.

Speaker 2 (47:56):
We're not happy that you use that.

Speaker 1 (47:58):
Word because of sitting on the remains hurt when you
said fisher, Have you anybody in this room has more
hemorrhoids than me?

Speaker 2 (48:09):
I feel like it feels apocalyptic when I have one.

Speaker 1 (48:12):
It feels it's a disability. I'm not kidding.

Speaker 3 (48:14):
Can this this is gonna be a little gross. This
is my This is me on the toilet with a hemorrhoids.
Oh okay, my mights. Okay, are you tracking off?

Speaker 1 (48:26):
No?

Speaker 2 (48:26):
It's hurt so much that I have to feel like, God,
you're supposed to get up. You're not supposed to be
sitting there.

Speaker 4 (48:32):
Off.

Speaker 2 (48:33):
No, I'm sitting there and I'm like, could you have
you keep moving?

Speaker 3 (48:36):
Then it won't like yeah, then like it's it's a
way to like get it out, but it's just my
foot has to move.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
I get restless. Leg I hate.

Speaker 1 (48:45):
There's literally nothing worse than like a localized injury.

Speaker 3 (48:49):
Oh it's not good concentrated pain. Wait was that gonna
be your answer to what was the culture that made
use the culture for me? And then but then you
also said overtext that you had opinions about housewives?

Speaker 2 (48:59):
Well can, and this is my great reveal? Can I
show you what I have.

Speaker 1 (49:03):
Sh Well you can. I even guess what it is.
It's Heather Gay's Mormon book shirt. Here we go. Oh oh.

Speaker 2 (49:22):
Wow, Lisa, I feel for me too.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
I'm on the pod, Lisa.

Speaker 2 (49:29):
They really are all invited.

Speaker 3 (49:30):
They're all invitedly after all the work the public service
they did, including Brittany Bateman.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
Oh honestly, yeah, honestly.

Speaker 3 (49:42):
Watch when Brittany comes on the podcast and is like
low key, funnier and smarter than us. Well, the thing
about culture is it actually started, she tells us. She
comes in like a true cultural anthropologist, like a full
ten MBAs.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
Talking about like culture and like caveman.

Speaker 3 (49:58):
Yeah, She's like, well, actually fire began when a caveman. Actually,
really it was collaborative, and it was really the first collaboration.

Speaker 1 (50:04):
Wait what am I actually Abraham Lincoln had Greek versachi plans?

Speaker 2 (50:10):
Are you Angie.

Speaker 1 (50:13):
That apology?

Speaker 3 (50:15):
That Angie Kat's the name is the queen of America?
Did you listen to her episode of Lost Culture?

Speaker 1 (50:21):
She was on Last Coach.

Speaker 2 (50:23):
She was the last guest, so stupid.

Speaker 1 (50:27):
You know what's so interesting? Well, I told you this,
and I actually don't want to say this on the podcast.
What edit, I'm only listening to music from now on.

Speaker 2 (50:40):
I think we would all benefit from that.

Speaker 1 (50:42):
I just am like worried about replacing my inner chatter
with outer chatter, and so I have been replacing all
talking in the ears with singing.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
Actual structure sound.

Speaker 1 (50:55):
You don't listen to the episode, make sure you say anything.

Speaker 3 (50:58):
Edits Oh, make sure that nothing slips through the cross right,
because this one's always gootten off some problematic stuff and
a third word.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
It's a big slur, big sir, I said, listen to
unedited Lost Coach. You'll be taking a vacation, a big slur.

Speaker 1 (51:15):
You don't have a pussy on this shelf for two
whys it'll start to leak. Pussy is not a slur.
That doesn't count pussy. Pussy, pussy come for me. My
brother when I was growing up said to me, he
said that he thought pussy was a vegetable because my
dad said it so much.

Speaker 2 (51:31):
Why would he think he was a vegetable because my
dad would.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
Be like, get back on the field, you fucking pussy.

Speaker 2 (51:37):
So he thought it was a vegetable, like because it
was in the fields where vegetables grow. Right, Wow, like it.

Speaker 1 (51:46):
Might be long island lifestyle. Yeah, totally.

Speaker 3 (51:48):
You'll never believe this story. So my sister comes home
one day when she's five. She's had to write write
a book about her family. So it's like, this is
my mom.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
I love my mom a lot. This is what my
mom says to me.

Speaker 1 (52:04):
I love you. This is my dad.

Speaker 3 (52:07):
I love my dad a lot. This is what my
dad says to me. It's a picture of him on
the couch and it says, Peanut, go grab me a
beer from the fridge.

Speaker 2 (52:16):
Curl, don't grab me a beer from the fridge.

Speaker 1 (52:20):
Talk about it.

Speaker 2 (52:20):
I wrote it old and brought by family. It was like,
this is what my mom says, this is what my
dad says.

Speaker 3 (52:28):
Because my dad would send us into the back ridge.

Speaker 2 (52:35):
Bring it in.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
You know how I just said that there's only been
one artist who has presented my theory of everything. I
was wrong. It's your sister.

Speaker 2 (52:43):
There was something in there that spoke to the universe.
For sure.

Speaker 3 (52:46):
My mom says, I love you. My dad says, hey, Peanut,
go grab me a beer from the fridge. I can't
believe I've never heard this before. That's incredible, It's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
It's so good, Peanut. My dad's yep, were you peanut?
I was Peanut? Also, you know sports fan? Oh wow?
Is that something your sports fan?

Speaker 2 (53:06):
Get me?

Speaker 1 (53:06):
And whatever?

Speaker 2 (53:07):
Sports fan is a lot of fun. I was bug.

Speaker 3 (53:12):
Because I'm crawl around all the time. I never said,
still still do this day. You know how hard it
is for me to sit right here? Unbearable. I want
to be crawling all over the place.

Speaker 1 (53:19):
Did you're about to be like bowing on the toilet?

Speaker 2 (53:23):
I want I want to crawl over this place, spread
my steaear. I gotta come quite frankly, I want to
do it.

Speaker 3 (53:27):
Now.

Speaker 1 (53:29):
What color would it be when it came out?

Speaker 3 (53:30):
You don't want to know, fine, I'll tell you white
I'm a normal guy white of snow my com.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
You guys should do a Man This Sphere episode.

Speaker 2 (53:40):
All right, So then we're actually gonna come and then
we're gonna see what colors it is.

Speaker 1 (53:44):
All right.

Speaker 3 (53:45):
Then we're gonna we're gonna figure out the hex code
for the cum color. So who thinks this one is
a Bowen's com. We immediately get a huge deal with
Barstool Sports. We leave I Heeart, we leave I Heart,
We go to Barstool for some reason. On Barstool now,
they're talking about Japanese pizzas. I'm like, I got a

(54:05):
thing on my feet.

Speaker 1 (54:06):
It's like, what is a Japanese pizza? Like the pizza
in Japan is like shit?

Speaker 2 (54:12):
And talk about that?

Speaker 3 (54:13):
Oh, it's a it's amazing pizza. That's that's all I
can say. Real, that's all you can say.

Speaker 2 (54:18):
What talk about it? What is making it so good?
The dough, the sauce, the top, and.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
Would it be as amazing as Mary Cosby's avocado pizza looked?

Speaker 2 (54:28):
Thoughts on Harry Cosby this year her behavior in the final.

Speaker 1 (54:32):
What can you say about a philosopher king a lot?
That's actually a great point. You can say a lot
about a philosophy. Yeah, I agree with It's like it's
I get why people joined the cult such. I just
felt like she was speaking with such clarity this season

(54:53):
that I thought that she was channeling spirit for.

Speaker 3 (54:55):
Really, but weren't you upset? And at the end when
she was really trying it with Andy, she was like,
I was wrong about you. That was so insane, it
was absurd.

Speaker 1 (55:04):
But then she was like and she was like hey,
and she was like, you're right, I have abandonment issues and.

Speaker 3 (55:08):
It was like great, But so she needed Angie to
get there right, to get to Angie is the real
star here.

Speaker 1 (55:16):
I think Angie is the star of this.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
Yes, I would agree.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
She's top five housewife for me. True.

Speaker 2 (55:23):
Now you have to say your top five.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
Carlton's crazy, Carlton.

Speaker 2 (55:29):
You need to be in an asylo.

Speaker 4 (55:33):
Raw Mona Okay, Rah Carlton singer, Angie Angie, Angie Okay.

Speaker 2 (55:44):
Who is rounding the mouth?

Speaker 1 (55:45):
Is five? Karen? Oh yeah, that can't be my five?

Speaker 2 (55:50):
Karen? One more?

Speaker 3 (55:55):
Follow it on my phone. I feel like I wrote,
It's like there's a fold. There's a folder with drag names.
There's a folder with my favorite housewife.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
My favorite karaoke song.

Speaker 3 (56:05):
Okay, this is a nice spread you have. You have Rony,
Beverly Hills, Potomac, Salt Lake.

Speaker 2 (56:10):
You're missing what.

Speaker 1 (56:15):
You know what actually Marrisol's mom. Oh yeah, yea, Carlton,
Actually Mary Cosby.

Speaker 3 (56:27):
Angie wown Karen Elsa not even even this week.

Speaker 2 (56:34):
You're gonna knock Karen out?

Speaker 1 (56:36):
Yeah, put it on buckers there because does it count?
Does the bodycam footage count as an episode of Housewives?

Speaker 2 (56:44):
I think so. I think it's because that is just like,
it's so sad.

Speaker 3 (56:51):
When she when she's sitting in the jail cell getting
interrogated and she just has she's babbling and then she
goes Thomas Jefferson's concubine.

Speaker 1 (57:01):
It's just like, you don't get that kind of genius
anywhere else in this world.

Speaker 2 (57:07):
She is one of the funniest people to ever love
that talk.

Speaker 1 (57:10):
About channeling the Mews in the room, like being in
the room where that happens, Like that isn't top five top.

Speaker 2 (57:19):
Sure?

Speaker 3 (57:19):
Well, can we just point out is standing Steri Stadio
to Carrots body cam footage and Britney Oh, Brittany Bateman.

Speaker 1 (57:29):
No, just kidding, I would respect I would respect that,
and that's late.

Speaker 2 (57:32):
I do think she's had incredible Yes, this is it
is funny, fun Jared.

Speaker 1 (57:41):
I've never recorded in my life. I was trying to
send the video to my daughter.

Speaker 2 (57:45):
She got a good grade on her mouth test.

Speaker 1 (57:47):
Just speaking to me again, nice, have an announcement. My
daughter's speaking to me. What this is?

Speaker 2 (58:00):
What you're staking to think pony clubs throughout the airport.

Speaker 1 (58:03):
It's amazing. It's brilliant to all housewives past.

Speaker 2 (58:07):
Future, past, future and present take notes like like, this is.

Speaker 1 (58:12):
What happens when you're off your phone. So you're actually
referring to someone who's literally just made a TikTok but
when you're off your phone and just being you and
you're not like worried about how people perceive.

Speaker 3 (58:24):
You podcast outer chatter in your ear chat, when you're
off your phone. It's incredible what you can do on
your phone. That's essentially what you just said. When you
really clear that, when you just let the music speak
and you just put away your phone, pick up your phone,
see what happens. Amazing ship the content, especially now in
the new era of TikTok bay.

Speaker 1 (58:46):
And outcasts and vagabonds and dragulators. It's like it's like
that is like there are so many people who are
trying to manufacture housewife dumb yes, and they're trying to
like one.

Speaker 3 (59:02):
I don't think Brownwin is as guilty of that as
other I mean, let's call a spade a spade. Yes,
my critique for the finale of Salt Lake. I did
not need them to do that stupid that game. That
game was so I don't think she even believed in it.
I think I think they told her like to do this,
and then she was like, yeah, fine, and then it

(59:22):
just not one element of the show felt like they
were pushing that hard for drama until that moment and
I was just like, I just don't believe that tripped
at the finish line a little bit.

Speaker 1 (59:32):
I think it's like we're at a point with Housewives
where push has come to shove and it's like in
order for anything to be I think New York is
evident is evidence of this. If it's just like it
just has to be crazy. And that's why I do
respect Heather doing that, because she's like, well, it's the
finale episode. We're all sitting at the stable, and it

(59:53):
has to be insane, because what.

Speaker 2 (59:56):
Was my favorite was her cadence, We're gonna take out
our phones.

Speaker 3 (01:00:00):
We're gonna find the worst thing we've ever said about
someone here, and then we're gonna handle over our phone.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
And we're gonna read it, dieaball, and we're gonna move forward.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
Do you think she script she scripted that. You don't
think she had a note tap on her phone?

Speaker 3 (01:00:15):
That was like, Guys, what I find suspicious was that
they all like remember when Lisa like zoomed the fucking
and like was like swiping, swiping, swiping, So it's like
they screened shot, they had read. I think that was prepared.
There was something produced. It was very produced. It was
very It was the only moment of the season that
I felt was like inorganic. Yeah, and I didn't like it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
I I did like it because I just felt like
Heather was like, I half I fucking left not a
single chrome last season, and she was just.

Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
Like she actually deserves an Emmy.

Speaker 1 (01:00:49):
She did because she wrote that, and it's like she
was like, the way I fucking tore that last year,
Like the only way I won up myself is if
I do the craziest cross, which is she did the
craziest thing.

Speaker 3 (01:01:03):
There was a moment there where the language was even
kind of like mirroring last season where she goes, we're
all obsessed with receipts, we're all obsessed with like like
she's caught herself mid list being like, oh I got
to change up the the words a little bit.

Speaker 2 (01:01:16):
But it was Receid's proofd timeline.

Speaker 3 (01:01:17):
I actually like earlier in the year, like in our
group chat, people were like, oh, Heather's not having a
great season, She's not like in it. I'm like, actually,
I totally disagree, because I think Heather Gay is the
audience ye and she's the best narrator on the show,
and she's the lead of the show, she's the protagonist.
So it's fine by me that she's not like totally
like racked with whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:01:39):
Is going on.

Speaker 3 (01:01:39):
I feel like she's had a lot of that and
I kind of enjoy watching her watch what's happening. That's
how I feel about it, Miss Gay, Miss Gay, I
was talking about you, I wasn't talking about her.

Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
That's how everything gay.

Speaker 1 (01:01:52):
As everyone knows. My straight power fist.

Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
Wow, even this limprist did somehow even this week, well
the y m.

Speaker 1 (01:02:06):
C A him dancing to the y m c A
is like, is Britney batement level. It's like we were
we are out to the village people to this, you
tore this and you know this. But like if Brittany
Brittany Bateman, they're they're a perfect cast because they're every

(01:02:29):
archetype of housewives.

Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
And they're themselves.

Speaker 1 (01:02:32):
But Heather Gay is not. And that is what Mary
was saying Mary when Mary was like, Heather, you've changed
and you're not you know, you're not yourself. She's like,
you are becoming too aware and too into the fandom
and like you're Rihanna's favorite and you're performing and you're producing.
But Heather like kind of needs to do that a

(01:02:52):
little bit.

Speaker 2 (01:02:53):
Yeah, I think it's unfair. I think I think you
need you do need Heather to do what Heather has done.

Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
Right because you because you Havetney Bateman. Literally like if
everyone was Britney Bateman.

Speaker 2 (01:03:04):
Well, the rest of them are not capable of doing that,
Like Lisa Barlowe is not capable and I wearing her
on my shirt, I have a respect over my heart.
She's not capable of being like, hey, guys, to the producers,
what do you guys, need let me execute that for you. Wow.

Speaker 3 (01:03:20):
One person can do that in the cast besides Heather,
which is Angie. Oh you think, I think, I think
Andree is I think. Angie too is a chaos agent and.

Speaker 1 (01:03:29):
She's living she's truthfully living her life as the wife
of a beautiful She's more grounded.

Speaker 3 (01:03:36):
But Angie can like zoom out and like the way
she handled the Mary thing, I'm like, she can she
can do this. Yeah, she's so aware in the best
in the exact right way. Yeah, she has an understanding
of that of the situations in a way where she's like,
you know, when it's time to put your foot on
the gas and like whenever it's Meredith spinning in a

(01:03:57):
circle at her own butt mitzvah being like that, Like
Angie knows, like I'm upset, but this is good this.

Speaker 2 (01:04:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:04:04):
Meanwhile, it's like Mary melting down, Like there's a bone
in every housewives body that if they were to scratch
that bone, it would just be like, let me continue
fighting this woman.

Speaker 2 (01:04:15):
But Angie knew it. It is not. I'm not arguing
with Mary Cosby about this.

Speaker 1 (01:04:19):
Right saying high body count hair. It's like I actually
take back what I said about Ms Gay Cute eating
an Emmy for her writing it is angie because we're
getting lines like high body count hair, and we're getting
lines like.

Speaker 3 (01:04:38):
One foot in the grave and another and then she
and then she even wrote something for this show where
her I don't think some money was I don't think
so mony high body count hair.

Speaker 2 (01:04:45):
And then she goes, you come to Lunatic Fringe salon.

Speaker 3 (01:04:49):
By the way, the name what oh no, when we
get first of all, when we saw that, I didn't
know what was called LUNATUK fringe triangle hair.

Speaker 2 (01:05:00):
I saw, I saw then well, then I looked.

Speaker 3 (01:05:03):
I didn't know that it was actually a phrase like
it's the lunatic fringe references actually like groups of people.
It's not just two words that sound great together. It's like, oh,
she's like a I worshiped this attack we do and
she was great on the show. You should listen to that.
She like, she looks perfect. This is the right the

(01:05:23):
joke level writing, Yeah, yeah, this is good. She goes,
come to Lunatic Fringe, you have a get late guarantee.
If you don't have sex, come back, I'll fuck you myself.

Speaker 2 (01:05:32):
Girl.

Speaker 3 (01:05:33):
Then they said they Rome was not building in a day. No, well,
can you possibly mean by that? And you're talking about
a Greek woman to watch it? So stop with this
Rome imagery. They were talking about Greek built a hair empire.

Speaker 1 (01:05:49):
Yeah, because she was laying brick by bricks.

Speaker 2 (01:05:52):
And the cultural wasteland of saltings.

Speaker 1 (01:05:56):
Yeah it is, by the way, I got a damn pillar.

Speaker 2 (01:06:03):
I'm a pillar of the community. My god, do I
have an angie?

Speaker 1 (01:06:08):
Go go go Meredith.

Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
Well, Meredith, it was.

Speaker 1 (01:06:13):
I thought it was really interesting how you talked to me,
and you are very rude to me.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
There's not much I'm I have to work on it.

Speaker 1 (01:06:23):
It's there, helling journey.

Speaker 2 (01:06:25):
I'm in a real place of helling. I love, I want.

Speaker 3 (01:06:30):
She needs to have a better season next year, and
I actually blame that. I think the producers cut out
a lot of her ship.

Speaker 1 (01:06:35):
Oh yeah, interesting because, like Whitney, I think she's the
most stunning woman alive period.

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
We're one of the only housewives I've done a shot with.

Speaker 1 (01:06:45):
Oh oh, and how did that present itself?

Speaker 3 (01:06:48):
Well, we were both at high Tops, West Hollywood. Good
for her, likely place for us.

Speaker 1 (01:06:55):
She is a gay guy.

Speaker 2 (01:06:56):
She's a gay guy.

Speaker 1 (01:06:57):
She is she's a gay guy. She's not as much
of a gay guy is Angie k Oh. Sure.

Speaker 3 (01:07:02):
Well, but when when STUDI and I were at Chuck,
she was in the audience and then sud was like say,
I was like, I'm too shy, but this is Bowen
is So you guys work with the biggest A listers
weekend lead these are our Meredith Marks came to the
Fire Island premier years ago with Seth and Brooks. I
went over to her to say, that was the first
time we had ever met. I said, Bowen, come over here.
He said, no, I'm not doing that. No, it's She's

(01:07:24):
like he was scared. I love these people with all my.

Speaker 1 (01:07:28):
Heart and her scratch cornea really concerned me. Meredith doesn't
stop creating content. I'm saying, this is someone who will
be buying her. What is it pink microphones?

Speaker 3 (01:07:44):
That you don't think I have the entire Meredith Mark's
collection and have been to the store in Park City.

Speaker 2 (01:07:49):
You're incorrect. What does it you'd be deeply mistake.

Speaker 1 (01:07:52):
Okay, do you remember at the end when it was
like during the finale when they put the title cards
up like what they're doing now and they came by
so fast, very very fast. I couldn't we're listen, we're
all professional readers. Could not read that.

Speaker 2 (01:08:03):
Yeah, I love reading in the language. I love reading question. Yeah,
love so good at it is my first language. Top
five Housewives Just you do it? What are your Stacy Rush?

Speaker 1 (01:08:24):
You are crazy?

Speaker 2 (01:08:25):
I watch your QBC videos. He does It's like and
it's a proud Christian woman. I love having God right
here on my rist. That's a proud Christian woman.

Speaker 3 (01:08:37):
Is No, she is actually a revolutionary housewife because she
is showing me that you can be a positive, loving
person and still succeed.

Speaker 1 (01:08:45):
And you could have the most beautiful boobs on TV.

Speaker 2 (01:08:47):
And you're the most gorgeously stacked person to ever be
on television. Her body is insane body, her body.

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
Her body is, her body is celsius, her body.

Speaker 2 (01:08:58):
Is look at that, I mean bectish. Let's the most
gorgeous woman alive. And to think she's dating a man
who will not have sex, that's crazy, and that that's
part of what is going on there with miss Let
me think about it.

Speaker 3 (01:09:13):
Let me think about it for even more than one
or two seconds. Miss gay I think, I think, but
we love Stacey. I love Stacy. Brush is in my
top five.

Speaker 1 (01:09:21):
Leon. I'm never going to shame an actor who ONTs
camera time.

Speaker 3 (01:09:24):
Sure, and you're and you are never going to do
that for do you respect the fuck out of those guys?

Speaker 2 (01:09:31):
I respect the fuck out of those guys and the
actor out here who's grinding, doing their best, putting one
foot in front of the other in this grind we
call Hollywood.

Speaker 3 (01:09:40):
I respect the fuck out of those guys. Excuse my language,
but it's true. And it's really difficult.

Speaker 1 (01:09:47):
Say for the heart of hearing Meredith Marxist.

Speaker 3 (01:09:50):
People in the back, who I thought, you just said
Meredith Marxist, and I thought, that's a good dragon.

Speaker 2 (01:09:56):
That's a great name. Marxist.

Speaker 3 (01:10:00):
Oh my god, I phone list, my phone list? Can
I just say when I wasn't call it? When I
was in Denver for the holidays, it was this huge
event all over Grinder. People were like, We're going to
Meredith Mark's Meredith Mark is going to show up at Tracks,
this nightclub by the train.

Speaker 2 (01:10:16):
Tracks. It was like the entire town was getting ready
for like a presidential visits.

Speaker 3 (01:10:22):
That's an A List Tracks appearance. No, of course, And
I was like, I am not. I'm gonna sit now
because because of fear. No, we love merit.

Speaker 2 (01:10:30):
Meredith came, obviously.

Speaker 3 (01:10:31):
Meredith famously, as the readers know, came to the Cultural
Awards and delivered a great performance and accepted an award
in person on behalf of all the ladies, and then
came out to the after party afterwards and was hanging out.

Speaker 2 (01:10:43):
She is a good hand.

Speaker 1 (01:10:44):
This is what I was saying about the the title card.
I said at the end of the title cards, it
said that she's coming out with listening pink listening devices.

Speaker 2 (01:10:50):
Yeah, well she's a handicap. She's a handicapped woman.

Speaker 3 (01:10:55):
But because she thought making fun of the differently understand
he makes fun of just abilities now on a really
underappreciated line during the whole recording freak out in this burner.

Speaker 2 (01:11:09):
What what is it?

Speaker 3 (01:11:10):
I invited you into my home and then she didn't
saying lies and spreading lies, she goes for saying lies
and spreading lies.

Speaker 2 (01:11:21):
Like staying and spreading being two different things. For saying
lies and.

Speaker 1 (01:11:25):
Spreading lies, she resolutely rock garbage.

Speaker 3 (01:11:32):
Post Meredith Stacey, I just lui Anne, and then I'm
gonna say I fucking Luyne.

Speaker 1 (01:11:41):
Oh fuck, I've read.

Speaker 2 (01:11:42):
Oh but we can share the list.

Speaker 3 (01:11:46):
Yeah, this is, this is And I'm gonna say, I'm
gonna say Alexia, Alexia is pretty good, Alexei is huge
for me.

Speaker 2 (01:11:55):
I'm going to say Adriana. Adriana is amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:12:00):
I'm going to say.

Speaker 2 (01:12:03):
Meredith. Yes, I'm gonna say.

Speaker 3 (01:12:09):
If you say, I'm gonna say Doloras Catania, And I'm
gonna say.

Speaker 1 (01:12:15):
Who do I laugh at Sonya? Like how is Sonya?

Speaker 2 (01:12:18):
Nonestly? Sonya to me is diminishing?

Speaker 3 (01:12:21):
Can Yeah, sure, Kenya is tough for me because as
incredibly fabulous as she is, I don't think I'm like
chuckling laughing along honestly.

Speaker 2 (01:12:29):
In good times. Porscha's unbelievable.

Speaker 3 (01:12:36):
And also, you know who I think is actually a
top five housewife and I take the good and the
bad Erica Jane.

Speaker 2 (01:12:42):
Oh sure, totally. Erica Jane is unforgettable character on television. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:12:48):
And it's like if we're like paying homage to what
the show homage for the zoobie zoos in the room,
It's like, that is what the show is. It's a
soap opera, and she is a soap opera. I mean
literally named to Erica Kane. Oh wow, my soul left
my body. Yeah you met her?

Speaker 2 (01:13:07):
No, wait, I don't know who did a hospital, right,
Erica Kane?

Speaker 3 (01:13:12):
Is that Susan Luci's character on All My Children and
the most famous soap opera character? And it was, But
Sarah was on General Hospital? Yes, yes, that is the
most iconic thing anyone's ever done.

Speaker 1 (01:13:24):
Well and talk about General Hospital. I didn't know this.
I bet I literally, I said, hey, I please, and
they were like, are you like kidding because you're a comedian,
are you kidding? And I was like, I'm one million
on General Hospital?

Speaker 3 (01:13:39):
They were like, so they she's a speech she's a
speech therapist, kidding me, She's amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:13:46):
I come in for one episode. Can't do a serious
phase going on because you know it is true what
they say on so like that in soap operas, you
know at the end of a scene it holds on
everyone's facial reaction.

Speaker 2 (01:13:58):
Like this, I really do want to.

Speaker 1 (01:14:04):
All I want to do is act and guess what
they do one hundred pages of dialogue a day. Do
your respect speech? Put respect on that with the so practors.
What were you saying with respects? You just did earlier.

Speaker 2 (01:14:19):
I respect the hell out of that.

Speaker 1 (01:14:21):
I respect the hell out of the act you know.

Speaker 3 (01:14:24):
It's it's think about how many greats we've got from soaps. Oh,
Telly Rippa, I did.

Speaker 1 (01:14:33):
When I hosted my game show, my Hamster game show.

Speaker 2 (01:14:39):
Let that sink in. You don't even know the half
of it. With the Hamster game.

Speaker 3 (01:14:44):
Let's keep who was competing the hamsters. Yes they were,
but the human shoe and there they're therein lies.

Speaker 1 (01:14:54):
The I was my co host, Kyle Oh, he did
soap operas, and he was like, bitch, you have no
idea the level of acting. He said that all of
his co stars could. When they were like, hey, you know,
the director would be like, can we get one single
tiar your cheek?

Speaker 2 (01:15:15):
They would go, which I fuck? Which bit? Which I?

Speaker 3 (01:15:23):
Bitch?

Speaker 1 (01:15:24):
Yeah you can do that? Though you could? Which I
you could?

Speaker 2 (01:15:28):
I certainly couldn't, which I.

Speaker 1 (01:15:31):
So at the end of every scene, like they literally
do the whole like hold for reaction, hold for reaction,
but my crunchy ass literally doing this in my reaction shows.
They're fucking I couldn't believe everyone is so fucking amazing
acting in General Hospital.

Speaker 3 (01:15:48):
It's like in Okay, you know what, I'm out there.
I want to be on General Hospital. I would love
to come in and do whatever you guys need. They're
not gonna want to let you go.

Speaker 2 (01:15:59):
That's fine. I'll do a recurring period. I would love to.

Speaker 1 (01:16:03):
It is like one take everyone done, everyone's off book,
day of day off. They get the script and then
they go, got it. Wow, And I know, I legit.
Never been more nervous in my life because you're actually
with pros who are like they do this.

Speaker 3 (01:16:18):
Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. I don't mean to make this
about me. I want to put something out there. What
I want to do, a pro wrestling thing that will
be really good. Yes, I went. I went to New Japan,
New Japan Pro Wrestling at the Tokyo Dome. It was
the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life.
From children to elderly women.

Speaker 1 (01:16:40):
Screaming, screaming, hilarious, hilarious, acrobatic.

Speaker 2 (01:16:45):
I just I feel it's all my favorite things. Costumes.

Speaker 3 (01:16:49):
John Sena for tips, John John Mandarin speaker, John Cena. Yeah,
have you seen him do the ads for log On? Mo?

Speaker 1 (01:16:57):
I guess the Chili Crisp Cam nos Oh for the
Chili Chris, he's.

Speaker 2 (01:17:02):
In his trailer. He's like like it's crazy good.

Speaker 1 (01:17:09):
Okay, So for those reading listening watching, Matt wants me
in General Hospital badly done, Bowen's General Hospital done. Substance
like substance to.

Speaker 3 (01:17:23):
You find out Monstrow is not dead up and it's you,
And then you have to go into SNL and it's meta,
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (01:17:37):
And then MONSTRELLI asked us to work on star Marks
and she's just gotta be a girl getting her shit
together West Hollywood, and like roommates, how did I want
you to?

Speaker 3 (01:17:46):
Could you possibly conjure up how you felt when you
saw Monstro ilysss Sue And when the text came on
the screen that said Monstro, how did you.

Speaker 1 (01:17:55):
You're gonna like think I'm I'm joshing around or kyling
around or whatever you're but like, so I want I
went to the movie with my friend Heiress, who like
does like amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:18:07):
Sorry, oh wow if his name hard two years are
I s Heiress?

Speaker 2 (01:18:17):
They Heiress but like the final fantasy character keep going.

Speaker 1 (01:18:22):
Yes, my friend Heiress who does practical effects, who did
all the practical effects, and Sarah Vain. We went, we
went together and when that happened, legit stood up.

Speaker 2 (01:18:36):
Yeah. Yeah, the more you do it, the last and
we were like, yeah, yes.

Speaker 1 (01:18:42):
Because I didn't think people in the theater we saw
it with were like streaming, laughing the whole time. But
I don't think they. They didn't. They didn't feel like
they had permission to stand in cheer. But it's here,
it's it's.

Speaker 2 (01:18:54):
It's cheering, yeah, moms show.

Speaker 3 (01:18:58):
I think because I saw it from I saw I
saw it at home and I kept and mind you,
I was stone. But it was the perfect way, which
because I kept turning to Mat it's okay. I kept
turning to mant now.

Speaker 1 (01:19:12):
Okay, oh.

Speaker 2 (01:19:15):
Hold. I turned him out and I was like, I
slowly sobbed.

Speaker 1 (01:19:20):
I'm just give me some of the other. And now
this is a circuit.

Speaker 3 (01:19:25):
We did say we couldn't do holding space jokes anymore
for weekend.

Speaker 1 (01:19:29):
This is the last time there's only for you. You're harassing.
So this is like you know what I mean, it's different, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:19:37):
Holding, I kept saying to Matt. I was like, this
is fucking yeah. He did. Minutes in he was like,
this is the best movie. I was like this rules.
I love that and I loved me. Oh, I loved me.

Speaker 1 (01:19:52):
She's the most beautiful woman who's ever graced the planet.

Speaker 2 (01:19:55):
Sixty two.

Speaker 1 (01:19:56):
You believe that's crazy? How old is anyone? No?

Speaker 3 (01:20:00):
No, no, you'd have to ask them. And it's rude
in some cultures, yes, and some cultures that's rude what
you're saying.

Speaker 1 (01:20:07):
I'm bouncing around. I'm so crazy. But I was like,
it just scared me to think that we wouldn't be
bringing this up my neighbor. Wait, this is so back.
This is not what we're talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:20:16):
No, say it.

Speaker 1 (01:20:17):
I'm not filing.

Speaker 2 (01:20:18):
No say it.

Speaker 1 (01:20:19):
What my neighbor is a brain scientist?

Speaker 3 (01:20:25):
I don't think that's what they're called neighbor hack aipor legit.

Speaker 1 (01:20:31):
Sometimes I am kind of like, should I knock on
her door and ask her if it's normal that I
can feel the veins in my eyes?

Speaker 2 (01:20:39):
Is knock knock, knock? Hey?

Speaker 1 (01:20:42):
How are you not me getting an or ring and
refreshing that every five seconds? I had a question about
I don't know, you're off the clock. I can feel
the veins.

Speaker 2 (01:20:54):
In my eyes. Is this normal? Just not the brain? No? No,
I'm not seeing the brain.

Speaker 1 (01:20:58):
Everything is everything is because actually isn't.

Speaker 3 (01:21:02):
All reality actual culture number ninety four. It's not the brain,
but everything is. We've never had a rule like that,
like the gate itself.

Speaker 1 (01:21:13):
Yeah yeah, well I'm saying, is that all reality is consciousness?

Speaker 2 (01:21:17):
So period?

Speaker 1 (01:21:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:21:21):
Wait can you walk through that?

Speaker 1 (01:21:23):
It's just like we could all be like literally in
my dream.

Speaker 2 (01:21:27):
So you're an egomaniac narcissist, so you're a solitar.

Speaker 1 (01:21:30):
Sorry, we could all be in like Trump's dream.

Speaker 4 (01:21:35):
That you.

Speaker 1 (01:21:37):
Throw it on him.

Speaker 2 (01:21:40):
It's his day, it is what this is all his dream,
isn't it.

Speaker 1 (01:21:44):
It's like, I just I'm sorry. I can't get over
that he had fucking ymca.

Speaker 3 (01:21:52):
You have to watch The Apprentice. The movie, Oh, the movie.
The movie was I love the Friends of the Show
soon Yang, I loved it. Well, I I did like
The Apprentice back in the day when it was all
fun games. Yes, I'm talking about The Apprentice twenty four
with Sebastian Stan and Jeremy Strong essentially The Apprentice.

Speaker 2 (01:22:12):
Referring to the fact that Trump was Roy Apprentice.

Speaker 1 (01:22:15):
You know, I pledged to watch that.

Speaker 2 (01:22:18):
It's really an interesting movie and did it get.

Speaker 1 (01:22:22):
Like a little bit where people worried about it I'll.

Speaker 2 (01:22:26):
Worried about it.

Speaker 3 (01:22:26):
Really, why Sabastian stands Oscar I'm sorry a golden globe.
Speech was like we cannot move in fear. Is this
leaf distracting? No?

Speaker 2 (01:22:35):
Are you you're okay with it? It's there is rustling.
I mean, certainly okay.

Speaker 3 (01:22:40):
But and I just feel like if I were to
have a leaf on my head throughout the entire day,
I mean doing my job. That's crazy that this is
actually our job, right, if I had a leaf on
my head during your entire workspace, I would think, well.

Speaker 1 (01:22:55):
A Pokemon, because there's I think there's a Pokemon with
a leaf on his head.

Speaker 2 (01:22:58):
There's leafing Pokemon. And you better watch your mouth, Chickarita. Yeah, hello, bitch.
I just I have more proof than that's bitch, Chigarita,
than that that.

Speaker 1 (01:23:13):
That that I was your friend in you. I was
offended by that.

Speaker 3 (01:23:17):
Blow.

Speaker 1 (01:23:18):
Wait, what was this friend? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:23:22):
I can't, I can't quote that. That's one of the
craziest moments. Garbage, horror, garbage.

Speaker 1 (01:23:27):
The fact that she came back from that with Mary,
like the fact that it's unbelievable.

Speaker 2 (01:23:32):
Well, did I ever tell you about I was at
Sundance one year.

Speaker 3 (01:23:35):
And this is the same year I went to her
store and I saw Meredith at an after party and
I turned to her and I just kill Meredith, you know,
I root for you and Lisa and she and she
literally turns to me and she goes.

Speaker 2 (01:23:44):
Well, explain to me how that would work.

Speaker 1 (01:23:48):
And I was like, oh my god, waid the hell
have they healed from that?

Speaker 2 (01:23:53):
I think you just kind of get over things when
you're a housewife girl.

Speaker 1 (01:23:56):
When when when fucking Heather said about Whitney like it,
whoa a piece of ship?

Speaker 2 (01:24:03):
Yeah, you're a piece of ship. You're a fucking liar.
You're a bitch. That's literally like looking at her in
the eyes. No you are You're a liar, Lisa, You're
a liar. You talked to Whitney last season and you're like,
how are you with the girl? How are you doing?
And she goes, I'm good because the girls they're all good.

Speaker 3 (01:24:28):
Like she said to me, she said something like everyone
knows how to do the show and we're a good
casting together. And also I did hear I think Joel
saw Meredith somewhere and he was like, so, how are
you feeling about the season? And Meredith fully with a
big smile, was like, I loved it. Everyone really came
to work this year, like they're loving, They're amazing. And
k came on the show and you could tell she

(01:24:48):
felt like a queen. You should as she should.

Speaker 1 (01:24:52):
I oh, two things. Please tell me when I'm afraid
that when people see me they see brow Why Like
when Bronwin walks into the room wearing Ronald McDonald, it's
like costume, not.

Speaker 2 (01:25:13):
Mama. Well, she kept saying, Mama, mama, this is fashion. Stop.

Speaker 1 (01:25:19):
I'm I don't get this. See that's not what I'm
like right his head. It's like you don't see like
hot dog on a stick.

Speaker 2 (01:25:29):
If you're anyone on Salt Lake, you're Lisa Barlowe.

Speaker 1 (01:25:34):
No, no, you're not.

Speaker 2 (01:25:39):
Who am I get this right? Who you know?

Speaker 1 (01:25:43):
I think that you're Lisa and you're Meredith.

Speaker 2 (01:25:46):
That is exactly what it is.

Speaker 3 (01:25:47):
Yes, yeah, that we we saw we saw ourselves. In
the first season when Meredith tells Lisa.

Speaker 1 (01:25:59):
And Lisa, why, oh my god, wait, I'm gonna cry.

Speaker 2 (01:26:01):
I'm crying. Wait, I'm crying. No, No, I heard us.
I love you guys so much.

Speaker 1 (01:26:08):
I'm really close with them.

Speaker 2 (01:26:10):
It's just really hurting me because we're always friends, you know.
Meredith is like, it's okay, wait, I'm gonna cry.

Speaker 1 (01:26:19):
I'm crying. You look like a trampoline with eyes.

Speaker 2 (01:26:27):
Trampoline with eyes under trampoline crying, Angie one foot in
the grave, and she come up with that's amazing and
reading it she's gotting one foot in the grave and
another banana peel?

Speaker 1 (01:26:47):
Can you hear? And you're not laugh It's like I
feel that way by the way that you have one
foot in the grave, which means what to you, half
clown half? Should you do me a really big favor?

(01:27:07):
Can you look up doctor who like skin stretched out person?

Speaker 2 (01:27:13):
Oh, I know what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 (01:27:15):
That's trampling trampling eyes And then wait, can you do
this thing? Insert image here?

Speaker 2 (01:27:24):
And also make sure it says subscribe to Lost cultures
us underneath it. Do it again? In fact, do it again?

Speaker 1 (01:27:31):
Subscribe to Lost culture says here?

Speaker 2 (01:27:35):
Or should we say subscribe to iHeart.

Speaker 5 (01:27:41):
Y'all?

Speaker 2 (01:27:43):
Y'all are some clowns? Really? For real? Really for real?

Speaker 1 (01:27:46):
What? Okay, my neighbor's a brain scientists?

Speaker 3 (01:27:49):
Yeah, get into this. Should this be a two part episode?
Should this be called monsco Serahnical Part one. Oh my,
and then we'll do Monstrow Starting a Cold Part two. No, oh,
Jesus Christ, I forgot about that.

Speaker 1 (01:28:08):
Me, by the way, me really too.

Speaker 2 (01:28:13):
You really to take it back, especially this week?

Speaker 3 (01:28:17):
Me really too. It's not me too, it's the sequel.
Me really to hashtag.

Speaker 2 (01:28:22):
You thought we were You thought we were stomping it
out the first time.

Speaker 1 (01:28:27):
No, no, me really to Pussy grabs back. You thought
pussy was sitting on the shelf. Well guess what it
was sitting on the shelf so long in the in
the cabinet, in the dark that it became one of
those potatoes with the little arms growing out.

Speaker 2 (01:28:41):
Pussy grabs back, and this time it reeks.

Speaker 1 (01:28:45):
That's actually really good.

Speaker 2 (01:28:47):
Scare him off a little bit.

Speaker 3 (01:28:48):
Well, a culture number one thousand. We've never gone that high,
you fucking freak. I came in here and said, you
really said it's Sarah's cult.

Speaker 1 (01:29:00):
I'm gonna say the culture that was for me when
the pussy is on the shelf. David Lynch, wish you
could drink that.

Speaker 2 (01:29:06):
Well he passed. He's dead, dead man, my neighbor's brains side. Yeah,
I get into this. Sorry, she said.

Speaker 1 (01:29:17):
That global warming.

Speaker 2 (01:29:22):
That's not a climate sign global.

Speaker 3 (01:29:25):
Okay, because they're shaped the same, a big circle brain
in a globe.

Speaker 1 (01:29:31):
That's why my brain's always rolling around my head like
a marble.

Speaker 2 (01:29:34):
Exactly did you tell her all this peanut headed? But
what did what did she? What did she say? Global
peanut headed bitch?

Speaker 1 (01:29:41):
One time my boyfriend drew picture of me that was
a little little peanut head and we screaming pay attention
to me, and he's called it peanut head bitch.

Speaker 3 (01:29:52):
And now Sarah, whenever she's in a wig, it's like, Oh,
that's the most peanut headed bitch I've ever seen. Puhead
Bitch's a little head. You have such a good head.

Speaker 2 (01:30:00):
It's a great I love it. I love its full transformation.
Immediately when I see you in a red bob or like.

Speaker 1 (01:30:09):
You got obsessed with that one bomb, like you was
a blonde, I want to there's something like amazing about
I had.

Speaker 2 (01:30:19):
No it's it's an amazing moment when you transform.

Speaker 1 (01:30:23):
I just it's like every it's just like, listen, I
am grateful for this job because so many things, but
the fact that for a job I get to wear
a wag and go oh.

Speaker 3 (01:30:36):
Is she there was a wig that was so perfect
on Sarah that and and I don't mean to like
out you as anything like narcissistic. It's just it was
like I got it because you just kept Sarah and
I sit next to each other on Saturdays for makeup
and hair, and it really was a moment of Sarah
just being like looking at herself for at least five minutes.

Speaker 2 (01:30:58):
I'm beautiful.

Speaker 1 (01:30:59):
Yeah, I did this substance mirror thing. But you were like,
you were like so happy. I felt that when I
had my Tina Turner wig. I had Ava Turner wig
in that Pongo sketch. It was insert image here. Oh

(01:31:21):
and one time I had to wear a Rebo wig.

Speaker 2 (01:31:24):
That was great and it was like I was kind
I kind of like, were you playing Reba?

Speaker 4 (01:31:30):
No, not.

Speaker 1 (01:31:32):
Per se, but in a way, well all extras have,
you know, it was kind of channeling.

Speaker 2 (01:31:39):
You can't really put a Reba wig on without doing
a you have at least once.

Speaker 1 (01:31:45):
That was amazing. I'm pretty good.

Speaker 2 (01:31:48):
I'm pretty good at singing hard.

Speaker 1 (01:31:50):
When you were singing in the hallway and it was
resounding and reverberating, I was like the all funny drained
out of my body and I was just living in
like your honest moment. I was just like, wow, you.

Speaker 2 (01:32:02):
Really, what did your neighbors say? Because you said you beautiful?

Speaker 1 (01:32:08):
What did your neighbors?

Speaker 2 (01:32:09):
Because he's done with me? I need to be so bad?

Speaker 1 (01:32:13):
Okay, okay, pee go go pee girl?

Speaker 3 (01:32:16):
How bad?

Speaker 1 (01:32:16):
Is it pretty bad?

Speaker 2 (01:32:17):
I've been holding it in for at least a half hour.
You've been dealing with a lot. But should I go now?
But I don't want to lose that. We've been on
momentum this whole time.

Speaker 1 (01:32:25):
Okay, So my neighbor said that climate change you you
really can.

Speaker 2 (01:32:29):
Tell about here? Trump?

Speaker 1 (01:32:35):
Really? Trump?

Speaker 3 (01:32:37):
Come on now, girl, Gland Trump girl, Girl, yet real girl,
get real Greenland?

Speaker 1 (01:32:45):
Really leave it alone?

Speaker 2 (01:32:48):
Really?

Speaker 1 (01:32:48):
What did your climate what did you try brain scientists
say about the climate? She said that global warming. You
know that global warming is happening because dogs have dog
bites are up because they're the ozone dogs that are
breathing in ozone and it's making them go crazy. And
the first thing I said was Bronwen.

Speaker 2 (01:33:08):
Oh my god. And then your neighbor was like, who yeah, no, literally,
you know what's crazy? What's crazy about the Bronwin dog attack?

Speaker 3 (01:33:23):
Is she got attacked by her favorite thing, because you know,
she's got all those dogs named after the House of
Cards characters, which.

Speaker 2 (01:33:29):
The show is the best show on television today. All
my dogs are named after characters from my favorite show,
House of Cards, an insane show.

Speaker 1 (01:33:38):
Let me be Frank. Oh my god, you're so fine.
I'm gonna light you on fire.

Speaker 2 (01:33:48):
Let me be Frank.

Speaker 1 (01:33:49):
No, you know those dogs were named after let me
be Frank. Like, they're young dogs.

Speaker 3 (01:33:57):
And this girl is naming I mean House no Cards
twenty thirteen. It was that's an old show, so she
must have started binging like a few years ago.

Speaker 1 (01:34:05):
Those dogs look like newer than that.

Speaker 2 (01:34:08):
Yeah, they're not like housebroken.

Speaker 3 (01:34:09):
I mean if she had, she had started the show
when came on like many of us did, and then
I guess she named her she might have named her
dog first. I would imagine her first dog was named Frank,
and you'd think the second one was Claire.

Speaker 2 (01:34:24):
Those dogs are old, now, a dog, really old, thirteen
year old dogs.

Speaker 1 (01:34:29):
I thought all her dogs really young, and I was like,
that's crazy that she named them that recently.

Speaker 2 (01:34:35):
I mean, looking.

Speaker 1 (01:34:38):
From so blessed up.

Speaker 3 (01:34:41):
She started watching House of Cards after all everything came out.
After everything came out about Kevin Spacey, she said, not
only am I going to start streaming, I'm gonna name
all my pets after this.

Speaker 2 (01:34:53):
This is just conjecture. We don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:34:56):
They could be.

Speaker 2 (01:34:58):
Money. You know those dogs have money and everything replaced.

Speaker 1 (01:35:02):
They can get hey, group mind, group of mind, groom mind,
groom mind.

Speaker 2 (01:35:09):
When you can get in a rhythm, ride the wave, babe.

Speaker 1 (01:35:14):
One food in the grave and another on appeal.

Speaker 2 (01:35:19):
Look at that melody another one?

Speaker 1 (01:35:23):
You know what I mean? Banana, you need to be.

Speaker 2 (01:35:27):
In the Minions movies. Wait Erica's Erica Jane. We're on
appeal for legal reasons. We're on appeal, appeal for legal reasons.

Speaker 1 (01:35:36):
Dumb an evil man? Oh no, but even.

Speaker 2 (01:35:48):
He's iconic.

Speaker 1 (01:35:49):
They car flipped over how many times? Sometimes because there's snowing?

Speaker 2 (01:35:56):
What or what or what or what?

Speaker 3 (01:35:59):
You are?

Speaker 1 (01:36:00):
Ugly?

Speaker 2 (01:36:02):
Just a fuck up?

Speaker 1 (01:36:03):
Kyle?

Speaker 2 (01:36:04):
Hey, girl, girl, what do you have to say to
Kyle Richards.

Speaker 3 (01:36:09):
Because after you say it, we're gonna do I don't
think's money and then we're gonna let him pe Finally, Please, girl,
you gotta speak truth to power. Yeah, who's the power?
I think Unfortunately she's the power and we've given her
too much of it.

Speaker 2 (01:36:23):
I agree, be honest, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:36:26):
Say okay, say I'm gay, or say I was gay
for a second, or say Mauricio cheated on me with Derey,
just say it.

Speaker 3 (01:36:36):
My take on Kyle is she literally the cameras are
only there for her own comfort, because I do think
she's dealing with a pretty real thing, which is that
she's separated from her husband. He's not around and none
of her kids are around. So I think the cameras
are there more so that she can have people that
she knows there so she doesn't spin out. But she

(01:36:56):
shouldn't be on the reality show anymore. She's not willing
to portray her reality, which she's not willing to do
in any shape or form period. No, you're you're very right, philosopher.
Can't tell your brain scientists neighbor that to chew on
that for once, the o zones making him spit fire, Yeah,

(01:37:20):
dog at text her up, you know, and you know.

Speaker 1 (01:37:22):
What, fucking you know what? I changed everything I said.

Speaker 3 (01:37:28):
That woman was mald She was, and you made a
joke out of it, You made humor out of it,
and it was in comedy.

Speaker 2 (01:37:35):
It was human and Sarah, it sucks to sit here
while you did that cheering on violence against women. You
know what this week? This week, if you don't laugh,
you'll cry.

Speaker 3 (01:37:45):
I believe the phrase goes the old adage, the phrase,
the phrase just someone looking.

Speaker 2 (01:37:55):
In your eyes. It's too funny, that's too too funny,
too furious. That's all you had to say to Kyle?
Did you just give.

Speaker 3 (01:38:06):
Yeah, I like and subscribe last culture. Oh, Kyle would
have been good in that. You should have been Rose
deps roll. Goldie Rose Depp said, Goldie Rose Rose.

Speaker 1 (01:38:23):
Would be funny. Brittany could have played that.

Speaker 2 (01:38:26):
Brittany Bateman, did you see Esperanza?

Speaker 1 (01:38:30):
Yes, clearly you saw it. This is awesome.

Speaker 2 (01:38:32):
You loved it. Your tops year apart in Substance.

Speaker 1 (01:38:36):
My top two of the year are The Substance and
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City in.

Speaker 3 (01:38:42):
An Alley Great, So it's sun for I don't think so, Honey.
Are famous segments, Sarah, where we take one minute to
really take down something and culture we feel deserves it.

Speaker 2 (01:39:01):
This is our moment to do that. Yes, I do
have something, don't really have anything? Okay, but do you
I really do. And you know you actually know about
mine too, I know about it. Yeah, okay, then and
then it's gonna be amazing. I can go first.

Speaker 3 (01:39:16):
Okay, this is Bowen Yang's I don't think so, honey,
and his time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Humidifier.
I'm waking up in the morning. You're blasting off all
night in the corner. I'm waking up in the morning,
lips still chapped.

Speaker 1 (01:39:33):
How come is that?

Speaker 3 (01:39:35):
How come is that Humanifier? If you're not doing the
do then I can't give the give in my everyday life.
I'm walking around with chapped lips and a chapped ass
while we're at it all because the droplets, the mist
whatever you do?

Speaker 1 (01:39:52):
What do you do? What do you do?

Speaker 3 (01:39:55):
We actually to logande Astragia, what do you do successfully, Humidifier?
To be honest to Trinity, Oh I thought it was
still Aganza. Seems like an amazing season of television. Great season,
RuPaul's Drag Race season six, and we're gonna be reviewing it,
and we're gonna be reviewing We're doing a recap podcast

(01:40:15):
on our Patreon.

Speaker 2 (01:40:16):
Just kidding the Dragon Race review, Humidifier job, Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:40:23):
That was one minute, But would you say that you
were dry as your mother's sort of like join, sort
of like vagin Logandra should have won that season.

Speaker 2 (01:40:34):
That was an amazing culture. She should have. Oh absolute,
you know what, time starts now.

Speaker 3 (01:40:44):
I don't think so, honey, that Legandra Strondre didn't win
season six of Her Boss Drag Race. You're still quoting it.
You're still obsessed. Bianca, we love you, We're not quoting
I guess I just did not. You know what, Bianca,
you deserve. Your victory should have been a tie the
Mona Exchange, Trinity Kbonets I shouldn't have been the Legan

(01:41:05):
just should have tore up that win, just like she
tore up the whole season, And I feel very attacked
that she didn't win. In fact, you know what, I
actually hung out with Laganda Strang, a lovely person, and
let the girls have their marijuana if they needed to
be right, because she probably would have actually ate down
on that season.

Speaker 2 (01:41:26):
Even more than she already did if they had allowed
her her little medicinal fifteen marijuana. And you know what,
of all weeks to not let Legan just smoke weed
on season six, of all weeks, you picked this week.
I don't think so, honey. And we're not headed in
the right direction in this country. We're not. And that's

(01:41:46):
one minute.

Speaker 1 (01:41:47):
Does anyone know? Could anyone do the stand up set.

Speaker 2 (01:41:50):
By heart sort of like over John? We can all
right get you.

Speaker 3 (01:41:57):
My name is Legan hold on, we need to do it.
We didn't pull up and do it and do a reading.
Laganja stand up, said I. And also I respect the
hell out of her that she will not return to
the show. Oh yeah, but I'm sure they've asked many
times because who wouldn't want to see that she came
back to like absolutely slay e lipsynt the duleep as physical. Yes,

(01:42:19):
that was a total knockout. But she won't return to
the show to compete because it's like she's.

Speaker 1 (01:42:25):
Had it good.

Speaker 2 (01:42:26):
Okay, what is it? Hey?

Speaker 3 (01:42:28):
Hey, hey, hey, put your lighter is up. Ganja's in
the house. And as you can tell from my accent,
I'm from Dallas texts ass. And it was not very
easy growing up looking like this, whether I was playing
in my grandma's clothes or putting on a show for
my well organized, alphabetically ordered penny babies, I wasna gay, ok.

(01:42:52):
But it wasn't until I moved to Los Angeles that
I discovered marijuana. I mean, I like to smoke, y'all.
I'm just flying High's your receiving hair line?

Speaker 1 (01:43:00):
Oker?

Speaker 3 (01:43:01):
Marijuana really does help me calling down, so, y'all. I
went to Valencia where they filmed the TV show Weeds.

Speaker 1 (01:43:08):
Y'all.

Speaker 2 (01:43:08):
It's very dry. It's almost kind of like you're a vagina.
Can I get now, y'all, I'm a tree hugger. Because
if it ain't green, I'm not interested. Had she done
this in a way that, like at the time, really
owned it, Like, had she been high.

Speaker 1 (01:43:32):
Done this like it is funny?

Speaker 2 (01:43:35):
Because if it ain't green, I'm not interested.

Speaker 3 (01:43:40):
But this is what I'm saying, is she created what
comedy is right, Like this podcast wouldn't exist. You think
this podcast would exist?

Speaker 1 (01:43:52):
Do you think the Comedy Cellar was built in the day?

Speaker 3 (01:43:57):
Angie K needs a set at the Comedy cell You
need Angie K and Laganja Astroga doing like a travel show. Yes, yeah, absolutely, Okay,
I bet ANGIEK smokes some reefer.

Speaker 2 (01:44:10):
Don't laugh, Rebecca, No.

Speaker 1 (01:44:13):
Her house is too pointy.

Speaker 2 (01:44:15):
I would be.

Speaker 1 (01:44:15):
Afraid with the shapes of tips of things, the shape,
what else? What else?

Speaker 2 (01:44:21):
Your head? What I said?

Speaker 1 (01:44:23):
Triangle?

Speaker 2 (01:44:24):
My triangle? You asked, like fifteen times.

Speaker 1 (01:44:26):
I'm a visual learner.

Speaker 2 (01:44:28):
Are you.

Speaker 1 (01:44:33):
Look at her house? I go, I would like if
I was too high, I would have like fallen down
and hit my head. Marble slabs.

Speaker 3 (01:44:42):
I know.

Speaker 2 (01:44:42):
I appreciate a house that's really dangerous to live in.

Speaker 3 (01:44:45):
That's actually my aesthetic hazardous place with where if you
even think about bringing your kids, they're gonna get hurt.

Speaker 2 (01:44:52):
Right, don't bring kids into my house.

Speaker 3 (01:44:54):
Don't bring kids into my refrigerator house exactly. My house
is ice cold and pointy as ship.

Speaker 2 (01:45:00):
Remember Monica fell down the stairs?

Speaker 1 (01:45:05):
Yeah, mom make Guacamolean said my my green ice cream
or something.

Speaker 2 (01:45:10):
Monica's mother, craziest woman.

Speaker 1 (01:45:15):
What was her name? Like Tip Hedrinners that's what it was, Yes,
thank you? I fre kind of was that?

Speaker 3 (01:45:26):
What was was Monica's mom's name? What did I sell?
You're right, Tippy hed Droun? All right, So this is Sarah's.

Speaker 1 (01:45:36):
Mine's like, you guys are gonna have to edit it out.
It's gonna be so brutal.

Speaker 3 (01:45:40):
Okay, oh ship, this is Sarah Shermans. I don't think so, honey,
her time starts now, and I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:45:44):
Speaking my truth. This is you know this is true.
I know the clock is running out. Don't take my time.

Speaker 2 (01:45:52):
How much I wanted.

Speaker 1 (01:45:54):
Santa Maria Novella, I don't think so, honey, that you
formulated my ajuly. I have been wearing the same petuli
from Santa Maria Novella for five years. I went to
go buy another bottle, spray it on me? I go,
I'm sorry. Why is it not spraying sticky? Why is

(01:46:16):
it not so sticky? Why is it not coming out
smelling like balsamic vinaigrette and stank and rank? Why does
it not? Why does it smell nice? Why does it
smell like a dog feat on me? You changed it?
I called the office in Italy. They've been making perfumes
there in an apothecary. Monks make the perfumes since the

(01:46:37):
sixteen hundreds. In Tuscany. Five seconds. I called them and
I say, you reformulated. They said no, he didn't. I go,
but when I spray my shirt, it's not stained brown
because that was old formula, my old patuli formulation. It
used to used to spray it on your shirt, there
would be a big brown stain like you spilled soy

(01:46:57):
sauce on you.

Speaker 2 (01:46:58):
Just the way I like it. This is just super brutal,
super brutal, like.

Speaker 1 (01:47:05):
The bottle would be so sticky brown, sticky all over,
like sir, you couldn't even touch it. I used to
be able to walk into a fucking elevator and everyone
and go whoa, whoa, get a job, hippie, And now
it smells nice and then they guess, like man, I
call and I was like, hey, you guys.

Speaker 2 (01:47:20):
Do stupid monks? Change it back? You freak freakish monks.

Speaker 1 (01:47:27):
Get fu this Italian woman just like no, it's the same.
I email every emo. Do the accent bungee or no, no,
oh my god, that suck. Yeah, that's a Petuli pizza.

Speaker 2 (01:47:40):
That snl.

Speaker 1 (01:47:42):
Hey no, I'm not Actra downtra and they so you
know what I have to do. I have to go
on eBay. I have to google Santa Mariano Velo Patuli
and guess what comes up. Bottles literally with one tablespoon
of the PETROLI left, and I'm buying it for one

(01:48:04):
hundred fifty dollars because that's how badly I want it.
And everybody know and that, and that's why everyone on
eBay is up charging. Literally I thought it because saraed
by and they are trying to upsell thimbles left of
this old Petulli formulation. So I beg, you sent a
Mariana velopment. I know the platform that this podcast has.

Speaker 2 (01:48:22):
Oh no, I stopped that.

Speaker 1 (01:48:24):
I know what the power of culture, So I don't
think so, honey, the gas lighting of women on a
day week like this?

Speaker 3 (01:48:35):
Yes, wow, help it was no this was the saga.
But I thought it had been resolved. I thought you
had found the Petulia again.

Speaker 1 (01:48:45):
Well I found this is what fucking happened. Then I
found the bottles on eBay that people were reselling the
half of the bottle. But now everybody's caught on that
the Petrolia is different. But how does everything now slash
on eBay?

Speaker 2 (01:48:58):
But how do all these eBay people have a little
roplet left over?

Speaker 3 (01:49:01):
Like?

Speaker 2 (01:49:01):
Who are these people?

Speaker 1 (01:49:03):
I don't know. I literally there's like there's there's there's
someone for everyone out there. There's someone for everyone, and
it just they they changed it and it smells like nice.
And I I liked when I smelled like vinegar. I
used to smell when I used to come into my
office to smell.

Speaker 2 (01:49:25):
Just Keith and.

Speaker 5 (01:49:29):
Whatever breathing.

Speaker 2 (01:49:32):
You should just put vinegar in the bottle. Vinegar and
soy sauce.

Speaker 1 (01:49:36):
Vinegar, soy sauce, stinky socks, that dog pee cat and
now smells like grass. I don't think it's honey smelling
like nice grass.

Speaker 2 (01:49:48):
Smells like pussy on the shelf.

Speaker 1 (01:49:50):
Well, my time restarted.

Speaker 2 (01:49:52):
I got a uti from holding in this past.

Speaker 3 (01:49:56):
The hemorrhoid of the people is that, well it's hold
to get intro for the third time. If it's that
more time has passed, it could be Logan Roy going
to the brain drive. You piss crazy?

Speaker 2 (01:50:07):
What is that? Is that what happened to Logan Roy?

Speaker 1 (01:50:10):
He went crazy on that one episode?

Speaker 4 (01:50:12):
Is that.

Speaker 2 (01:50:15):
It was your favorite Roy? Oh wow, Kendall, Kendall.

Speaker 1 (01:50:23):
That is just if that's Long Island. Roy triggers me
because that's Long Island. That is every person we grew
up with down Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:50:33):
Yeah, if they had had money which around me well whatever, yeah,
you're right, that's why it triggers me.

Speaker 1 (01:50:42):
You know, I just remember that you guys are really bad.

Speaker 2 (01:50:45):
No wait, wait, what did you remember.

Speaker 1 (01:50:47):
For the fifth grade talent show my friends did.

Speaker 3 (01:50:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:50:54):
They were like, Sarah, you can like be in the
back and like press playing the boom box.

Speaker 3 (01:50:59):
That's a traumatic memory. They have to switch out the
cards because we've been going for two and so we're
gonna end it.

Speaker 2 (01:51:07):
This has been so wonderful. It's great to get to
know you a little bit. I don't want to end this. Trust.

Speaker 3 (01:51:14):
The great thing about you guys having booked S n
L is now you get to go hang out with
each other even more.

Speaker 2 (01:51:19):
And you know what I want you guys to do,
write something together this week.

Speaker 1 (01:51:23):
We are I legit. I'm tired from laughing.

Speaker 2 (01:51:28):
It's crazy. We end every episode with the.

Speaker 1 (01:51:32):
Song hey yeah, Hey, Yeah, you can push the boom
box into that.

Speaker 2 (01:51:42):
Hey Hey. For more, listen to Outcasts speaker Box, speaker Box,
Love Below, Love Below the classic double album Double.

Speaker 1 (01:51:57):
Heat, Aliens, Last Cultures.

Speaker 2 (01:52:02):
This is the production by Will Ferrell's Big Man Players
in My Heart Radio.

Speaker 3 (01:52:05):
Podcasts, created and hosted by Matt Rodgers and Bowen Yang.
Executive produced by Ada Hasnier and

Speaker 2 (01:52:10):
Hans Sony, produced by Becker Ramos, edited and mixed by
Doug Bamimi Flboard and our music is by Henry Komerski,

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Bowen Yang

Matt Rogers

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