December 3, 2025 • 38 mins
In this episode, Diosa and Mala dive into the real challenges of holiday gatherings—splitting time between families, managing expectations, and dealing with unwanted questions that always seem to come up, especially around marriage and motherhood. They share their own traditions, when to say goodbye to tired behaviors, and when it’s time to start new ones. Plus, they go on a tangent about Guillermo Del Toro's, Frankenstein, and it definitely connects!!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Mala. I knew it was time to leave Thanksgiving when
the Jalo slander started.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Stop it? What did they say? Why did they say it?
How did you respond?
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Well, someone was talking about how Jlo basically stole Selena's laugh, Yes,
that she emulates Selena's laugh, and I was like, you
know what, I gotta go home now, it's.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Time to leave.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
It's time to leave.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
It's time to make a provian exit, you know, swemos.
And it's that time a year. It's the holidays, the holidays,
we're around family, We're hearing things that we don't agree
with all.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
The time, from Jlo to politics.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Oh dear God, is that what a painful, painful experience.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yes, the spectrum is deep.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Yes it is. Yes it is, and we're here to
talk about it.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
By the way, O la la lo mos, I'm Theosa.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
And I'm Mala.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
We are recordings from an impromptu space today, but we're
fully equipped and for that we're really excited.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
This is the first time we've had this kind of
a setup with the arms and the mics. We have
three cameras.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Wow, look at us, look at us.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
We've come a long way.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
We have come a long way, and We're so excited
to be back to be recording again still season ten,
and really like recording through the holidays because I think
there's just always so much to say and so much
stress is felt for a variety of reasons.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
This year, I definitely felt the stress of trying to
get to Thanksgiving on time, trying to spend time with
my partner, making sure that like school stuff is wrapping up,
seeing my dad's side of the family, seeing my mom's
side of the family, making sure everybody felt loved and
cared for, and giving everybody just a little bit of attention,
and making sure that I brought my contribution to the
(01:55):
Thanksgiving table. It's a lot. It's a lot to juggle.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
It's a lot to juggle. And that's really what we
want to talk about, navigating families, Splitting time between families
either biofamily, chosen family, or partner's family. Sometimes that overlaps, right,
and how to navigate and juggle all of it right.
Just like you said, Mala, how do you do it?
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Because you are a married woman.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I'm a married lady, and so you have I don't
identify as a married lady or just want to say,
but just factually speaking.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Of course, I am a married lady. Yes, on paper,
per the government, you are a wed. You have been wet.
So how do you juggle the holidays? Because these are
in laws we're talking about, not just like, oh, my
boyfriend's family.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Yeah, well, I mean it's it's something that I have
not had to struggle with, I will say. And there's
a couple of reasons. One that another's family the majority
of them are in Mexico, so that already alleviates some
of that stress of where are we going and who
are we going to see. Secondly, my father in law
(02:58):
is a street vendor and he makes the best damales
I've ever had, not just because he's my father in law,
he like has it down to a science. He's been
doing it for thirty plus years. So this is his
busiest time of the year. For Thanksgiving, definitely for Christmas,
So Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, he's still working by Christmas
(03:19):
Day afternoon, yesta gootalo. So it's very much like drop in,
We drop off some presents, and then we're on our
way because he's just so tired.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I love that he's working. He's busy. He doesn't have time.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
No, he doesn't have time to socialize.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
That's kind of great. I mean, not that he can't socialize,
but I mean he's working, he's making money. That's fabulous.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
We love that, yes, and so for that, you know,
for that reason, we don't really have to now, we
don't really have to juggle his side of the family,
which makes it easier in terms of logistics, right. And
then for my side of the family, it's just so
complicated and there's just so many moving pieces that I
would have to talk about it for hours and hours
(04:01):
and hours to really encapsulate all of the different family dynamics.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Of course it's very political.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
It's very political, but I well, I'll give an example.
For Thanksgiving, we spent it with my brother, my eldest,
my middle brother who lives in the valley, and my
nephew turned eighteen, and so he had reserved Thanksgiving like
a year ago and was like, my son is turning
eighteen on Thanksgiving, so I want to host and I
hope that you'll be there. So absolutely we were there.
(04:29):
We were really happy to celebrate both Thanksgiving and my
nephew's birthday. And so it's kind of just varied year
to year. I was when thinking about this episode. I
was thinking about Badiska's book The Semprimas. Yes, great book
and pick it up, and one of the first chapters
is about the matriarch, and she writes about how sometimes
(04:51):
families don't even have a matriarch, and that really really
resonated with me because when I was reading about matriarchs,
I couldn't identify a matriarch in my family because I
think once the grandmother's passed away on both sides, everyone
just split off, like into their their little families and
so that those really big family gatherings became smaller and
smaller and happened less and less. And so you know,
(05:14):
my mom is my matriarch, but in terms of like
having the the matriarch in the family that is like
representative of the family, that doesn't really exist in my family.
So I think for that reason, like we just are
in our little circles, you know, and we do we
make the best of it.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
That's uh. It's it's a really interesting thing that happens
to a family when the oldest woman passes and she
literally is the glue and the incentive for the family
to unify and come together, and once she's gone, like
that motivating force is just not there anymore. And I
think it's really common. I think that happens in a
(05:53):
lot of families.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Yeah, and you know, I have two brothers, and if
anyone listening has brothers, yeah, they know that. Sometimes they
don't show up the way we want them to. Sometimes
they do. Sometimes they're fabulous, sometimes they're great, but sometimes
they're just not as available or just as present as
(06:14):
we want them to be.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
They're busy being men. Yes, they're doing manly things.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
They're doing manly things. And so that's like the extent
of what I what I'm comfortable sharing about my brothers
in particular. But that within itself creates its own dynamic.
You know, which of the siblings are actually going to
be there, which are the kids? Is going to be
there for my mom? You know, so that creates its
own thing. But I think now we're like at a
really comfortable place. At least I am of like, I'm
(06:40):
just gonna be with my mom and my husband and
we're just going to do our own thing, and we're
really comfortable and there's a lot of peace. There's no argument.
Everyone cooks, everyone drinks a little wine, and we're we're happy.
You know, and I think, you know, there's so much
romanticizing of like really big families and those gatherings, and like,
don't get me wrong, like there's times where I'm like, damn,
I really miss that. But there's also like nothing as
(07:03):
good as comfort and peace and no drama in your
own home.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
That's something to be thankful for. Absolutely is just relaxing
at the end of the year and enjoying a meal.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah, that's what it should be. That is what it
should be.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
SE's what it should be. Yeah, I'm curious is your
family because my family is like one PM dinner, Thanksaving
dinners at one pm. We got there at one thirty.
Me and my sister, we uh drove up together because
we gather in Bakersfield for our Thanksgiving. So we went
from La up there and we walked in and they
(07:37):
were already holding hands, standing around the table and getting
ready to pray because we were late. Honey, we were late.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
They didn't wait, no, they were like, oh, we're starting dinner.
We said, have one very prompt.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Oh, very prompt. And so that's sort of the pressure
point at my family Thanksgiving every year.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
You have to arrive on time.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
It's getting there on time one pm, or you're missing
out on the pre We're gonna start without you. And
then everybody's like a little like, oh you were late.
Yes again, yes, but it's like one pm dinner. It's
so early, it's so early. What time do you guys eat?
Is it a big deal?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
It's not a big deal, Thank god, I think. I mean,
it's hard to say now, but I think in the past, no,
I mean, especially with my Peruvian family, Like, Okay, if
you know any Provians, you know that the party always
starts or the event, whatever it is, even a wedding
starts two hours post if the if the invites has
(08:33):
three pm, people will arrive at five pm.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
That is just proving standard time, is what I like
to call it, because that is it's just I don't know,
I don't know what it is, but it's just a
part of our culture. And so I think for that
reason we've like learned to be a little lax about
it starts when it starts, you know. But now, as
like someone who hosts, I really understand, like, Okay, if
it's a dinner and the invite says six pm, one pm,
(09:00):
get there at one pm. Yeah, there at six pm.
But it's hard. Life happens.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Life happens.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
And like my brother lives in the valley, like in
the Encino Valley, like Agura Hills Valley area, that's like
an hour and a half from us, and so I
think for that reason, they're a little lenient. They're like, Okay,
they're a little late, it'll be okay. And you had
to drive from Elena Bakersfield.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Yeah, and it will be okay. And hello, We're bringing
the personality. We're bringing the fun.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
The personality higher in the family.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yes, one undred percent, Like you can't have a holiday
without me. Of course, what are we even doing where
we're gathering.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
You're serving looks and laughter.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Yes, absolutely, one hundred percent of the time. And I'm
very grateful my brother takes care of my parents. I'm
I'm the son.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Actually the eldest daughter is the sun.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
I am the sun in many regards, and so yeah,
I'm bringing the energy, I'm bringing the vibes. And luckily
my brother is there to like hold it down and
take care of my parents and help my mom with
the turkey, and Grandma is still around. Shout out Natcha.
And as far as being a matriarch. She's so funny
because she like, we're having the happiest of occasions. We
(10:13):
are gathering and like having pie and enjoying ourselves and
talking about like beautiful things. And then like this year,
she started launching into a story and she was in
a good mood, but she started launching into a story
about some family back in her Pueblo and Mexican that
was like murdered, like the whole family. And she was
(10:35):
like yeah, and then they killed the whole family blah
blah blah, and I'm like.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Grandma casually drops this story.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Over pumpkin pie. Of course we're having a good time.
You're having a good time.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I understand completely, But she's just in.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
That headspace where it's like a lot of remembering and
reminiscing and yeah, so it was a lot of navigating that,
like we're listening, Grandma, but also, yes, we're gonna seeing
happy birthdays. We're gonna yeah because also I have a
relative whose birthday is the day after Thanksgiving, my god daughter.
Oh so that's so funny that your nephew, my goddaughter
(11:08):
Thanksgiving babies. Yes, And I feel for them because they're
competing with this holiday.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yes, my nephew's having like three parties this year, so
he doesn't get he doesn't have to compete this year
because it's a milestone birthday eighteen.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
That's a big one. Yes, how exciting. I know.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
So this was your first time also navigating the holidays
with a partner and his family.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
How much are you willing to share about that?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Well, you know, there really wasn't much navigating because, like,
he spent it with his family in LA and I
spent it with my family in Bakersfield. But we talked
about how his family starts dinner really late, and my
family famously starts dinner at one. So I think it's
possible in the future for me to like we can
like go to my family dinner and then eat and
(11:53):
finish up, and then go to his family dinner and
make both.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
So that's kind of what we're plotting next year.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
That could work very well. That could very well work,
I think.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
So.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I think that's what we used to do when we
would have to do like my mom's family and my
dad's family in the same day. My dad's family is
notoriously late, and they would always do things later and
if you're late, you're late, like literally, no one cares,
nobody because everyone is getting their late. Yea.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I was recently at my bridema's birthday party and none
and I got there at like ten pm, maybe ten thirty,
and I kid you not, my family did not start
arriving until past midnight, stopping like it wasn't even her
birthday anymore.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Right, it was the next day if they arrived the
next day.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Yeah. Yeah, So you know that's part of the navigating,
is like splitting the time.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
How about for Christmas, because we do one side of
the family is Christmas Eve, we do a notch buena,
we open gifts at midnight, and the other side of
the family is Christmas Day. That's always how we've split it.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Yeah. Yeah, So my brother is married to he married
into a white family, and so they do Christmas Day, okay, yeah,
and so that for that reason it makes it easier, yes,
because we'll do nochijuana with one side of the family.
My mom said of the family, I really haven't spent
Christmas with my dad's side in a very long time,
(13:15):
not for any specific reason. I think it just goes
back to like every family branching out and doing their
own thing, and so I have been wanting to spend
a holiday with them, but I'm like, am I just
gonna invite myself? I mean I can. I know that
I can, but I'm like, show up. Am I just
going to show up? Expect gifts?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Where are my presents?
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Exactly? So for the last couple of years, we've just
done nochibuana at the house and it's just my mom
and Fernando, and that's been really nice. Fano is a
really good cook, and because he grew up eating Themali
is making theamalis vending with his dad. He will not
eat them on us. Oh, like he enjoys them, but
(13:55):
he's like, I do not want them on Christmas. Yes,
He's like, I've eaten plenty. I appreciate them, I respect them,
I respect the labor, but I've had too many. So
he's been making he's really good at making nice and
he makes which is dipico and it's very tasty, very delicious.
We did not grow up eating it. We're not from
that area we eat and so he's been making that
(14:19):
on Christmas and that's been like a fun little new
tradition that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, and we.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Make like Christmas cocktails and we'll watch The Family Stone
or we'll watch you know. Rest in Peace, Dyan Keaton.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Rest in Peace, Dyan Keaton. I love The Family Stone,
one of my favorite movies of all time. It's so
good s JP in like prime form.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yes, And is.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
It Dylan McDermott or Dylan.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Maroney German mulroney. It's also from my best friend's wedding.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
He's do actors. I always get confused. Yes, it's Dermot
mulroney mulroney in the Family Stone.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
And my best friends best incredible. Yes, I love him.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Yeah, he's like little Scar.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
He's so cute. He is such a handsome white man.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
He really is. He really is.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Before we go into that tangent, though, so we want
to ask you, listener, what has it been like navigating
the holidays, whether you're partnered or unpartnered. Because even if
you're unpartnered, I know you've had to deal with splitting
family time between families, right, And if you are partnered,
you have to split time between your families and your
(15:25):
partner's families. So how are you navigating that?
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Right? Like? Are you rotating year to year, day to day?
Half the day one place, half the day another place.
Are you getting invited at all? Or are you creating
your own little friends? Giving your own Christmas celebration Hanako,
whatever it is you celebrate, like with your friends, your
chosen family, how do you do it? Because I think
people are also really in this day and age just
(15:51):
taking the holidays and making them their own. Yeah, and
like writing their own script and doing things their own way.
I think some people take off and take vacations and
just leave and they don't bother with the family gatherings
at all.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah. I've thought about doing that.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yes, yes, And I think it's a fun idea, like
a cruise.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Oh no, not for me, but yes.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
I think a cruise could be very fun. Unfortunately, I
love my family and I do want to see them, yes,
but I think, like one day it could be fun.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Yeah. You know, I also feel like if I were
to do that, my mom would have to come with me. Yeah,
it'd have to be a three person vacation. Yeah, and
my husband would be fine with that. You know, it
wouldn't take much convincing. But yeah, I feel the same way, like, oh,
I could do that, but my mom has to come.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Yeah, I think that's very fun. And so it's not
really like we're escaping our families. It's just let's do
something a little different this year, like home alone. Yes,
they went on a trip and they had a great time.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
San's son, but yeah sans child.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yes, you know, he found his own way to have fun.
He found his own adventure. But yeah, what do you
guys do? Listeners? Are you sticking to a traditional holiday
schedule and meals and the whole shebang? Are you taking off?
How are you doing it? We're very curious not to
take a turn on this episode. But also with everything
going on, yes, politically, are we gathering, are we traveling
(17:13):
to see family? Are we doing the things that we
usually do out loud in the current climate, or are
we scaling back or are we being low key? Like
I think that's a factor here too.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
That's a huge factor from like the national national politics,
local politics, global like there is so much to unpack,
and the dinner table, I think is always a good
place to do that. However, with a caveat and an asterisk, like,
I don't think that that's you don't do it at
Thanksgiving and you don't do it at Christmas dinner. Maybe
(17:47):
like twenty year old self was like down to do that.
But I do think like the most impact you're gonna
have is yes, at the dinner table, but not on
a special occasion because nobody wants to do that.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
In my opinion, it's a good way to make sure
that like nobody listens to you ever.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Again, Yeah, basically, it's.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
A long game. It's a very long game, and you
have to be very strategic with how you approach it,
and you know, like people will stop listening to you.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I feel really fortunate that I have not had to
deal with Trumpers in my family directly. They do exist,
but they live in Texas.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Okay, yeah, they're out of state.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
They're out of state, and I also they're a lot
older than me, so they're not like cousins I grew
up with. So there's just a lot of distance, you know,
just by circumstance. So I have not had to deal
with that. But I do hear the rumblings, you know,
and like we're all because they're my Bredey moost edmanos,
like we're all first gen I'm like, your mothers are
all immigrants, fools. Like it's very strange and really fucked up.
(18:50):
And some of my theeas are like even like they're
just done having those conversations with their own kids, and
like even the moms are tired of having that conversation.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
That is so frustrating.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
It's so frustrating.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Oh my gosh, I can't even imagine.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
I know.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
This is the thing that makes me afraid of having children,
right because you can give them every influence, like good influence,
and educate them and teach them and guide them, but
they're gonna make their own decisions. Yep, at the end
of the day. Yes, how horrifying.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
It's scary. You know. We think that we're gonna pop
out these like little progressive babies and we can do
everything in our power to make them progressive, but they
can go in another direction.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Terrifying.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
It is scary.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Listeners, are you scared of birthing Republicans? Is this a
real fear of yours? Because it can happen.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
It can happen, clearly. Yeah, we see it in our
families all the time.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
And then you'll never have a happy Thanksgiving ever again.
Oh sad, that's terrible.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Don't go anywhere, look, amotives, We'll be right back. Let's
talk about navigating intrusive questions because you brought up children, right,
I think you know, we've talked about this before, but
it's like the goalpost always moves right, it's from right.
(20:08):
That's like the conversation. And then once you have kids,
like they don't care about you anymore like you did,
or when are you gonna have the next one?
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
I'm wondering like how we navigate those conversations within our
own families, right, because it's can seem black and white,
but I think there's like a lot of nuance to it,
cause it's I mean, I think black and white in
the sense that like it's really easy to be like no,
like we're not talking about that, but you know, you
have family members that will push and push and kind
of and keep bringing up things that even though you've insisted,
(20:37):
like don't ask me that.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Yeah, this year, my sister God engaged. Everyone's very excited.
So that's everyone's just like buzzing with excitement, and everyone's
like vibrating, of course with excitement. So that's the focus,
which is fabulous and beautiful, and I am so happy
for my sister and her fiance and for the family
and for everybody and it's just like something that everybody's
(21:01):
looking forward to. So of course engagement is one thing.
They still got to get married. The wedding has to happen,
but the conversation is now jumping straight to the grandchildren.
The grandchildren. We're going to have grandchildren. So they're thrilled,
and that's I think something that my sister is also
very ready for. You know, she's at that age. They've
(21:24):
been together a long time, they have this beautiful relationship,
this foundation they've established, so I think that those conversations
are like very welcome at this point, you know. And
it's funny because while everyone was congratulating my sister, then
they would say congratulations Yvonne, and then they would look
at me and say, and maybe you're next, like over
(21:47):
and over and over, and I'm like maybe, I don't know, Like.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Who knows, who knows?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Anything could happen. We'll see. I mean, that would be lovely.
But the focus is one engagement at a time, one
wedding at a time, you know. So that was my
experience with that this year. But people were satisfied because
there is an engagement. Yeah, you know, there is news,
there is there are pending nuptials. Yes, you know, it's
(22:14):
not like every other year where it's like what are guys.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Doing, Who's getting married next?
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Yes, what's happening? So it was it was a very
joyous occasion because of that.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yeah, I love that. A couple of years ago, I
made the mistake of telling my mom that when I
turned thirty, like I had like a five year timeline
to have kids a kid. And she goes and tells
my Matherrin now like, oh she's she said in five years.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
She said, in five years she will have a baby.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Yes, And this is just something I shared with my mom,
you know, thinking it would stay with my mom. No,
she went and told my Madrina, and all of a sudden,
my Motherina starts asking me and she's like, oh, lolsagne's
Mass's mass countdown? And I'm like, who told you that?
And she goes I can put And I'm like, all right,
(23:07):
so my mother, my mother told you. And I told
my mom. I said, hey, I know you've been telling
people about a five year timeline, but like, I'm resetting it,
like it starts now. And she was like what, I'm like, yeah,
like I'm resetting it like five years. Two years ago
that means in three years. No, like, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
That's really soon.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
That's so soon.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
A year of that will be spent actually pregnant. It's
really just two years.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
No no, no, no, no, no no no, we're not there,
not there at all.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Wait too soon? Wait, wait too soon.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
I'm like, I'm thirty one now, No, how old am
i am?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
I thirty two, I'm thirty three.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Oh so I'm thirty two, okay, okay, how old are we?
How old are we? Okay? So I'm thirty two now.
So I'm like, in five years, that'll make me thirty seven.
That feels less scary. Great age, good age, fabulous age,
you know. But I don't know. Maybe my timeline will
reset every year. I'm not sure. Yeah, maybe we'll never sat.
And I'm okay with that, you know. And I'm like,
(24:03):
I've been having to prep my mom in that way,
like okay, and she goes, she'll she'll bring it up
a lot, She's bring it up a lot lately, and
I'm like, I'm okay with it, but I like, I
don't want her to be testing fitting on those patients. Oh,
you know, she'll like say it in front of us.
You know, and of course it's like it's very jokey,
but like you know, eventually, eventually you're like, all right,
(24:26):
that's enough, you major joke, like yeah, and I don't
want it to get there. So I'm like, okay, Mom,
like yeah, that's enough, you know, like I don't want
her to test it or push him too far. I
don't even remember what we were talking about, but I said, oh,
if you know, if we have a kid like X
y Z, and my mom is like all excited and
he goes but it's a big if, like it's a
maybe yeah, you know, And so we were like making
(24:47):
it very clear to her, like we still don't know,
and we're figuring that out. You know what that's gonna
look like for us if that even happens. But you know,
we can't do it because you want us to, like
we love you, I love you, but I can't have
a baby just to make you a grandmother when you're
already a grandmother and a great grandmother.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
I'm not going to have grandkids. She already has a grandkids.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yes, yes, yes, So that's how I've been trying to
navigate it with my Madrina. I'm a little more like
and not that I feed into it, but I'm just like,
you know, I don't really want to burst her bubble.
The senora my Nina is eighty. I'm like, you know,
just we'll see what happens, is what I tell her,
(25:30):
you know, because she's super traditional, very old school, will
always side with Fernando. She's one of those senoras I know.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
And when you got married, you gained an enemy.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Yes, I did. That's so funny, I know. And she's
my Madrina, like she's my mom's eldest sister. She's the eldest,
my Madrina basically my mother and has really served like
this abuelita role in my life as the eldest. And
my mother's mom passed away when I was a year old,
so she's filled that role for me. And so because
(26:03):
of that, I'm like, you know, I can't be too
firm with her. It can't be like mean or rude
or disrespectful. Where it's my mom, I feel like I
must confiance to be like, lady, you got to cut
it out, you.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Know, boundary.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yes, Oh that's so hard, I know, Oh that's so hard.
I don't know her.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
So how do we remain emotionally regulated and sane during
the holidays. How do you do it?
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Okay, Well, I run marathons, so that should tell you
everything you need to know.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
You do you ran two marathons this year?
Speaker 1 (26:36):
I did. I did. And I'm not saying it as
a flex. I'm saying it as like that is a
really big, a really big way that I think I
stay emotionally regulated and sane is by running a lot.
Also have not shared publicly, but I've been on antidepressants
for like six to eight weeks now and that has helped,
(26:58):
I think with my emotion regulation. So this will be
my first time navigating the holidays on meds. In my
thirty plus years, I have never been on any type
of meds for mental health. I've always been open to it,
I've just never really explored it. So this is my
first year navigating the holidays medicated. So we'll see. I'll
(27:20):
report back.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
How do you feel?
Speaker 1 (27:24):
In so many ways, I feel like nothing's changed, But
then when I meet with my psychiatrist, I'm like, oh, yeah,
i am having like less depressive episodes and less anxiety,
and I'm feeling more like focused and like I can
concentrate on the tasks that I need to do. So
I think that it's working. I think that it's helping.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
That's fabulous. Yeah, so good meds.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Good meds. I think you like your meds.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
I think so that's great.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
The first week was horrible. It was rough. My body
was adjusting, so I was like, I felt really sick.
I wasn't sleeping. It was rough. I very much considered
like I can't, I can't continue on. But then my
body adjusted and I'm glad I stuck it out. But
it was it was tough. I'm like, oh, I get
that was partly what kept me from trying meds. I
knew like there's a trial and error period, there's trying
(28:12):
different meds, and I just really didn't want to go
through that. But I felt like it was time and
so that I think is another tool in the toolbox
right for me of staying emotionally regulated using all the
tools that I can, whether that be physical fitness, medication, meditation,
(28:33):
all of that.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Yeah, that's wonderful. I'm so happy for you. Yeah, I
think it's it's tough getting on a regimen of pharmaceuticals. Yes,
it's like they're literally, you know, interacting with your brain chemistry.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yes, Yes, so good for you.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
I say this as I wear my part time sounds.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Sweater but only part time.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Yes, not full time, part time.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
And that's a good thing. It's nice to have a
side gig, have a side hustle.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
I low key wanted to wear this to my psycho appointment. Ah,
I was like, is that too much? I didn't, but
I thought about it.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Tell me about your sweater. What does this mean?
Speaker 1 (29:14):
What does this mean for you?
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Would your psychiatrist understand the cultural implications of the same
sad girl?
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Maybe I don't know. I have a male psychiatrist. Oh
that was not intentional on my end. It just seems
scheduling wise. It just happens. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
I remember there was a tweet one so where someone
was like, oh, all the Latinas are we talking about
how sad they are? Yes, it's a sad girl, this,
sad girl that. But it's true. There's a lot to
be sad about.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
There's so much to be sad about.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
There's sad things happening in the world. God have some empathy. Yes,
If anything, it's just a sign that we're very empathetic.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
We are very empathetic.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Yes, you know the sorrows of the world impact us greatly.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Absolutely, don't go anywhere. Looka Motives will be right back.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
And we're back with more of our episode. I mean
I watched Frankenstein and it's like sat with me.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Oh we watched that together, Yes, yes, I watched it.
We watch it together. And then in New York.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Yes, yes, And that concept of him not having any
companionship but also not being able to die and feeling pain,
just endless suffering with no end insight. Oh my god, yes,
it hit me. It's so's it's sorrowful. It's so painful
(30:42):
to think of.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Anyways, that's something that made me sad recently, just thinking
about poor Frankenstein.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Well, I mean creature that overlaps I think with this
notion not to be too tangential, right, but this notion
of like Latino's being sad girls and on the press
junk gig like kept everything was while I'm Mexican. Yes,
it all makes sense because I'm Mexican. And it's true.
I see that with the narrative arc between doctor Frankenstein
and the creature, where doctor Frankenstein worked so hard to
(31:13):
create this creature, to create make the scientific discovery and
then had no patience, no understanding, no empathy, no willingness
to learn to teach, just zero patients. And how does
that also mirror our own fathers in some ways?
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Interesting?
Speaker 1 (31:36):
You know? And that made me think of, well, my
own father and just like Latino men, right, and how
they parent and how they father and there of course
there's so many layers of like parenthood fatherhood within Frankenstein
and the novel and now this film, and so that
for me is like what really stuck with me?
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Yeah, I thought of like that life in the film
where doctor Frankenstein says, basically I'm paraphrasing, he was so
focused on accomplishing the thing, on creating the creature that
he never considered what would happen afterwards. Yes, like it
was a desire to accomplish some major scientific feat, not
(32:22):
a desire to bring life into the world. And then
the brother asks him, you know, when you were putting
together this creature, did you ever consider where its soul
would be housed? And it makes me actually think of
doctor Frankenstein as like God, and oh, I created the
(32:43):
world in what three days or whatever the fuck it is?
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Seven days?
Speaker 2 (32:46):
I created the world.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
We rested in the seventh Day, and then he rested.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
I created the world and I created humanity. Good for me,
look what I did. But did God ever think about
what would happen afterwards after we were created? And now
there's billions of people and we're all killing each other
and endless suffering if we want to be really, it does.
(33:11):
And then I was watching Sangred del Toro about Guermo
and he was I thought it was so funny, Like,
just the way that he communicates is so funny to me.
He's like, yes, my grandmother told me these stories of
saints that were undead and they were whipped and flogged,
and you know, they would carry their heads under their
arms and do all these things, and they were really
(33:33):
scary stories for me. They were really scary.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
They're terrifying.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Yeah, he's like, so Catholicism completely completely informs his monsters
and the stories he tells.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
Yes, Catholicism and Gothic and camp overlap.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Oh, they all go together so hard. Yeah. He was
talking about how there's a lot of vampiric elements to
Catholicism and the eating of the flesh and the drinking
of the bloodic very vampiric, the undead saints, the fact
that when we worshiped the crucifix, which is Christ nailed
to across that, you know, we're worshiping this man who
(34:12):
was mutilated and left to.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Rot on a cross, but he rose again. But of
course he rose again, that's where the miracle comes from.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Again, very vampiric, and so yeah, it was just very fascinating.
And so after watching that and watching the film, I
can't not draw, you know, the religious comparisons.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
I sat with it and I rewatched it after we
watched it together, and it was incredible. I'm such a fan, Like,
how can you not be.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Huge, huge fan? And Jacob Alerti was great as a
creatures Miagoth fabulous as Elizabeth, real weirdo. Loved her. She
was so like because initially I think Elizabeth was into
doctor Frankenstein.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Oh yeah, because he's.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Kind of weird, yes, But then she met someone even
weirder in the Creature and that's really what she wanted.
She wanted like the weirdest boy. Yes on the playground, and.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
I love, love, love love Oscar Isaac, but seeing him
in this role, I was like, oh, doctor Frankenstein is
an inceell. Oh absolutely, you know the way in the
film it's portrayed and in the book, but in the
film in particular, it's portrayed. Oscar Isaac's character of doctor
Frankenstein is so enamored with Elizabeth, but then gets upset
(35:36):
and angry when she pulls back, and then is jealous
of the creature because she has clearly affection for him. Yeah,
and then decides to kill the creature because of set
affection and because he's frustrated and doesn't know what to do.
I'm like, this is in cell behavior.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Oh. Absolutely, Doctor Frankenstein is the definition of scaring the hose. Yes,
he he he almost had her. Yes, but he was
too much. Yes, be cool man.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
He was not cool.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
He was not cool.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
He was a weirdo, which we love weird weird can
be good. But he was like a step too far
in a bad way in in cel territory.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
He was the monster.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
Yes, that's the takeaway.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
That is the absolute takeaway. Well, what are you gonna do, listeners?
What did you think? What did you guys think about Frankenstein?
And how do you stay sane and regulated during the holidays.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Did not think we'd be talking about Frankenstein today, but
you know it is a Latino film, like of course,
of course, like but also like the story. I'm like,
this is a Latino story, you know, this is this portrayal,
this interpretation. It is very Latino. It's very Mexican.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
It's very Mexican. It's very tragic. Very beautiful, yes, very
beautifully shot. I saw some criticism of it that it's
like too beautiful. Yeah, right, shut the fuck up, Like
you don't know something beautiful like your trash. Sorry, anyways,
would you guys.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Think the costuming, everything, everything, ever because.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
The production design, yes, the writing, you know.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
I think how I'm going to connect this conversation between
staying sane is watch Frankenstein. That will help you immerse
yourself in art. Whether it's not Frankenstein, it's something else.
Immerse yourself in art, music, film, yeah, books.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
And I think it's also okay whether it's Frankenstein or
The Family Stone or Legally Blonde, any of these films,
you can find yourself in the film. Oh are you
the creature? Are you the true monster in Doctor Frankenstein?
Like are you? Are you s JP in the Family
Stone or are you Luke Wilson? You know, like, who
(37:48):
are you Paulette like mcadam's character. Yes, find yourself in
the art and then ask yourself, is that who you
actually want to be?
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Yeah? I agree?
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Is that who you want to be in the story
of your life?
Speaker 1 (38:00):
That's a very lovely note to end on. Yeah, well,
thank you. Look, I'm motives for tuning in to another
episode of lok A Thought Our Radio. We'll catch you
next time, be Tho. Lok I Thought Our Radio is
executive produced and hosted by me Biosa and me Mala,
also edited by me Viosa
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Loga Longi
Mala. I knew it was time to leave Thanksgiving when
the Jalo slander started.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Stop it? What did they say? Why did they say it?
How did you respond?
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Well, someone was talking about how Jlo basically stole Selena's laugh, Yes,
that she emulates Selena's laugh, and I was like, you
know what, I gotta go home now, it's.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Time to leave.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
It's time to leave.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
It's time to make a provian exit, you know, swemos.
And it's that time a year. It's the holidays, the holidays,
we're around family, We're hearing things that we don't agree
with all.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
The time, from Jlo to politics.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Oh dear God, is that what a painful, painful experience.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yes, the spectrum is deep.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Yes it is. Yes it is, and we're here to
talk about it.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
By the way, O la la lo mos, I'm Theosa.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
And I'm Mala.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
We are recordings from an impromptu space today, but we're
fully equipped and for that we're really excited.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
This is the first time we've had this kind of
a setup with the arms and the mics. We have
three cameras.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Wow, look at us, look at us.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
We've come a long way.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
We have come a long way, and We're so excited
to be back to be recording again still season ten,
and really like recording through the holidays because I think
there's just always so much to say and so much
stress is felt for a variety of reasons.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
This year, I definitely felt the stress of trying to
get to Thanksgiving on time, trying to spend time with
my partner, making sure that like school stuff is wrapping up,
seeing my dad's side of the family, seeing my mom's
side of the family, making sure everybody felt loved and
cared for, and giving everybody just a little bit of attention,
and making sure that I brought my contribution to the
(01:55):
Thanksgiving table. It's a lot. It's a lot to juggle.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
It's a lot to juggle. And that's really what we
want to talk about, navigating families, Splitting time between families
either biofamily, chosen family, or partner's family. Sometimes that overlaps, right,
and how to navigate and juggle all of it right.
Just like you said, Mala, how do you do it?
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Because you are a married woman.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I'm a married lady, and so you have I don't
identify as a married lady or just want to say,
but just factually speaking.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Of course, I am a married lady. Yes, on paper,
per the government, you are a wed. You have been wet.
So how do you juggle the holidays? Because these are
in laws we're talking about, not just like, oh, my
boyfriend's family.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Yeah, well, I mean it's it's something that I have
not had to struggle with, I will say. And there's
a couple of reasons. One that another's family the majority
of them are in Mexico, so that already alleviates some
of that stress of where are we going and who
are we going to see. Secondly, my father in law
(02:58):
is a street vendor and he makes the best damales
I've ever had, not just because he's my father in law,
he like has it down to a science. He's been
doing it for thirty plus years. So this is his
busiest time of the year. For Thanksgiving, definitely for Christmas,
So Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, he's still working by Christmas
(03:19):
Day afternoon, yesta gootalo. So it's very much like drop in,
We drop off some presents, and then we're on our
way because he's just so tired.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I love that he's working. He's busy. He doesn't have time.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
No, he doesn't have time to socialize.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
That's kind of great. I mean, not that he can't socialize,
but I mean he's working, he's making money. That's fabulous.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
We love that, yes, and so for that, you know,
for that reason, we don't really have to now, we
don't really have to juggle his side of the family,
which makes it easier in terms of logistics, right. And
then for my side of the family, it's just so
complicated and there's just so many moving pieces that I
would have to talk about it for hours and hours
(04:01):
and hours to really encapsulate all of the different family dynamics.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Of course it's very political.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
It's very political, but I well, I'll give an example.
For Thanksgiving, we spent it with my brother, my eldest,
my middle brother who lives in the valley, and my
nephew turned eighteen, and so he had reserved Thanksgiving like
a year ago and was like, my son is turning
eighteen on Thanksgiving, so I want to host and I
hope that you'll be there. So absolutely we were there.
(04:29):
We were really happy to celebrate both Thanksgiving and my
nephew's birthday. And so it's kind of just varied year
to year. I was when thinking about this episode. I
was thinking about Badiska's book The Semprimas. Yes, great book
and pick it up, and one of the first chapters
is about the matriarch, and she writes about how sometimes
(04:51):
families don't even have a matriarch, and that really really
resonated with me because when I was reading about matriarchs,
I couldn't identify a matriarch in my family because I
think once the grandmother's passed away on both sides, everyone
just split off, like into their their little families and
so that those really big family gatherings became smaller and
smaller and happened less and less. And so you know,
(05:14):
my mom is my matriarch, but in terms of like
having the the matriarch in the family that is like
representative of the family, that doesn't really exist in my family.
So I think for that reason, like we just are
in our little circles, you know, and we do we
make the best of it.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
That's uh. It's it's a really interesting thing that happens
to a family when the oldest woman passes and she
literally is the glue and the incentive for the family
to unify and come together, and once she's gone, like
that motivating force is just not there anymore. And I
think it's really common. I think that happens in a
(05:53):
lot of families.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Yeah, and you know, I have two brothers, and if
anyone listening has brothers, yeah, they know that. Sometimes they
don't show up the way we want them to. Sometimes
they do. Sometimes they're fabulous, sometimes they're great, but sometimes
they're just not as available or just as present as
(06:14):
we want them to be.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
They're busy being men. Yes, they're doing manly things.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
They're doing manly things. And so that's like the extent
of what I what I'm comfortable sharing about my brothers
in particular. But that within itself creates its own dynamic.
You know, which of the siblings are actually going to
be there, which are the kids? Is going to be
there for my mom? You know, so that creates its
own thing. But I think now we're like at a
really comfortable place. At least I am of like, I'm
(06:40):
just gonna be with my mom and my husband and
we're just going to do our own thing, and we're
really comfortable and there's a lot of peace. There's no argument.
Everyone cooks, everyone drinks a little wine, and we're we're happy.
You know, and I think, you know, there's so much
romanticizing of like really big families and those gatherings, and like,
don't get me wrong, like there's times where I'm like, damn,
I really miss that. But there's also like nothing as
(07:03):
good as comfort and peace and no drama in your
own home.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
That's something to be thankful for. Absolutely is just relaxing
at the end of the year and enjoying a meal.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah, that's what it should be. That is what it
should be.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
SE's what it should be. Yeah, I'm curious is your
family because my family is like one PM dinner, Thanksaving
dinners at one pm. We got there at one thirty.
Me and my sister, we uh drove up together because
we gather in Bakersfield for our Thanksgiving. So we went
from La up there and we walked in and they
(07:37):
were already holding hands, standing around the table and getting
ready to pray because we were late. Honey, we were late.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
They didn't wait, no, they were like, oh, we're starting dinner.
We said, have one very prompt.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Oh, very prompt. And so that's sort of the pressure
point at my family Thanksgiving every year.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
You have to arrive on time.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
It's getting there on time one pm, or you're missing
out on the pre We're gonna start without you. And
then everybody's like a little like, oh you were late.
Yes again, yes, but it's like one pm dinner. It's
so early, it's so early. What time do you guys eat?
Is it a big deal?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
It's not a big deal, Thank god, I think. I mean,
it's hard to say now, but I think in the past, no,
I mean, especially with my Peruvian family, Like, Okay, if
you know any Provians, you know that the party always
starts or the event, whatever it is, even a wedding
starts two hours post if the if the invites has
(08:33):
three pm, people will arrive at five pm.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
That is just proving standard time, is what I like
to call it, because that is it's just I don't know,
I don't know what it is, but it's just a
part of our culture. And so I think for that
reason we've like learned to be a little lax about
it starts when it starts, you know. But now, as
like someone who hosts, I really understand, like, Okay, if
it's a dinner and the invite says six pm, one pm,
(09:00):
get there at one pm. Yeah, there at six pm.
But it's hard. Life happens.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Life happens.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
And like my brother lives in the valley, like in
the Encino Valley, like Agura Hills Valley area, that's like
an hour and a half from us, and so I
think for that reason, they're a little lenient. They're like, Okay,
they're a little late, it'll be okay. And you had
to drive from Elena Bakersfield.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Yeah, and it will be okay. And hello, We're bringing
the personality. We're bringing the fun.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
The personality higher in the family.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yes, one undred percent, Like you can't have a holiday
without me. Of course, what are we even doing where
we're gathering.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
You're serving looks and laughter.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Yes, absolutely, one hundred percent of the time. And I'm
very grateful my brother takes care of my parents. I'm
I'm the son.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Actually the eldest daughter is the sun.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
I am the sun in many regards, and so yeah,
I'm bringing the energy, I'm bringing the vibes. And luckily
my brother is there to like hold it down and
take care of my parents and help my mom with
the turkey, and Grandma is still around. Shout out Natcha.
And as far as being a matriarch. She's so funny
because she like, we're having the happiest of occasions. We
(10:13):
are gathering and like having pie and enjoying ourselves and
talking about like beautiful things. And then like this year,
she started launching into a story and she was in
a good mood, but she started launching into a story
about some family back in her Pueblo and Mexican that
was like murdered, like the whole family. And she was
(10:35):
like yeah, and then they killed the whole family blah
blah blah, and I'm like.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Grandma casually drops this story.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Over pumpkin pie. Of course we're having a good time.
You're having a good time.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I understand completely, But she's just in.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
That headspace where it's like a lot of remembering and
reminiscing and yeah, so it was a lot of navigating that,
like we're listening, Grandma, but also, yes, we're gonna seeing
happy birthdays. We're gonna yeah because also I have a
relative whose birthday is the day after Thanksgiving, my god daughter.
Oh so that's so funny that your nephew, my goddaughter
(11:08):
Thanksgiving babies. Yes, And I feel for them because they're
competing with this holiday.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yes, my nephew's having like three parties this year, so
he doesn't get he doesn't have to compete this year
because it's a milestone birthday eighteen.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
That's a big one. Yes, how exciting. I know.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
So this was your first time also navigating the holidays
with a partner and his family.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
How much are you willing to share about that?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Well, you know, there really wasn't much navigating because, like,
he spent it with his family in LA and I
spent it with my family in Bakersfield. But we talked
about how his family starts dinner really late, and my
family famously starts dinner at one. So I think it's
possible in the future for me to like we can
like go to my family dinner and then eat and
(11:53):
finish up, and then go to his family dinner and
make both.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
So that's kind of what we're plotting next year.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
That could work very well. That could very well work,
I think.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
So.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I think that's what we used to do when we
would have to do like my mom's family and my
dad's family in the same day. My dad's family is
notoriously late, and they would always do things later and
if you're late, you're late, like literally, no one cares,
nobody because everyone is getting their late. Yea.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I was recently at my bridema's birthday party and none
and I got there at like ten pm, maybe ten thirty,
and I kid you not, my family did not start
arriving until past midnight, stopping like it wasn't even her
birthday anymore.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Right, it was the next day if they arrived the
next day.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Yeah. Yeah, So you know that's part of the navigating,
is like splitting the time.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
How about for Christmas, because we do one side of
the family is Christmas Eve, we do a notch buena,
we open gifts at midnight, and the other side of
the family is Christmas Day. That's always how we've split it.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Yeah. Yeah, So my brother is married to he married
into a white family, and so they do Christmas Day, okay, yeah,
and so that for that reason it makes it easier, yes,
because we'll do nochijuana with one side of the family.
My mom said of the family, I really haven't spent
Christmas with my dad's side in a very long time,
(13:15):
not for any specific reason. I think it just goes
back to like every family branching out and doing their
own thing, and so I have been wanting to spend
a holiday with them, but I'm like, am I just
gonna invite myself? I mean I can. I know that
I can, but I'm like, show up. Am I just
going to show up? Expect gifts?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Where are my presents?
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Exactly? So for the last couple of years, we've just
done nochibuana at the house and it's just my mom
and Fernando, and that's been really nice. Fano is a
really good cook, and because he grew up eating Themali
is making theamalis vending with his dad. He will not
eat them on us. Oh, like he enjoys them, but
(13:55):
he's like, I do not want them on Christmas. Yes,
He's like, I've eaten plenty. I appreciate them, I respect them,
I respect the labor, but I've had too many. So
he's been making he's really good at making nice and
he makes which is dipico and it's very tasty, very delicious.
We did not grow up eating it. We're not from
that area we eat and so he's been making that
(14:19):
on Christmas and that's been like a fun little new
tradition that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, and we.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Make like Christmas cocktails and we'll watch The Family Stone
or we'll watch you know. Rest in Peace, Dyan Keaton.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Rest in Peace, Dyan Keaton. I love The Family Stone,
one of my favorite movies of all time. It's so
good s JP in like prime form.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yes, And is.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
It Dylan McDermott or Dylan.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Maroney German mulroney. It's also from my best friend's wedding.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
He's do actors. I always get confused. Yes, it's Dermot
mulroney mulroney in the Family Stone.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
And my best friends best incredible. Yes, I love him.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Yeah, he's like little Scar.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
He's so cute. He is such a handsome white man.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
He really is. He really is.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Before we go into that tangent, though, so we want
to ask you, listener, what has it been like navigating
the holidays, whether you're partnered or unpartnered. Because even if
you're unpartnered, I know you've had to deal with splitting
family time between families, right, And if you are partnered,
you have to split time between your families and your
(15:25):
partner's families. So how are you navigating that?
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Right? Like? Are you rotating year to year, day to day?
Half the day one place, half the day another place.
Are you getting invited at all? Or are you creating
your own little friends? Giving your own Christmas celebration Hanako,
whatever it is you celebrate, like with your friends, your
chosen family, how do you do it? Because I think
people are also really in this day and age just
(15:51):
taking the holidays and making them their own. Yeah, and
like writing their own script and doing things their own way.
I think some people take off and take vacations and
just leave and they don't bother with the family gatherings
at all.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah. I've thought about doing that.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yes, yes, And I think it's a fun idea, like
a cruise.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Oh no, not for me, but yes.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
I think a cruise could be very fun. Unfortunately, I
love my family and I do want to see them, yes,
but I think, like one day it could be fun.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Yeah. You know, I also feel like if I were
to do that, my mom would have to come with me. Yeah,
it'd have to be a three person vacation. Yeah, and
my husband would be fine with that. You know, it
wouldn't take much convincing. But yeah, I feel the same way, like, oh,
I could do that, but my mom has to come.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Yeah, I think that's very fun. And so it's not
really like we're escaping our families. It's just let's do
something a little different this year, like home alone. Yes,
they went on a trip and they had a great time.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
San's son, but yeah sans child.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yes, you know, he found his own way to have fun.
He found his own adventure. But yeah, what do you
guys do? Listeners? Are you sticking to a traditional holiday
schedule and meals and the whole shebang? Are you taking off?
How are you doing it? We're very curious not to
take a turn on this episode. But also with everything
going on, yes, politically, are we gathering, are we traveling
(17:13):
to see family? Are we doing the things that we
usually do out loud in the current climate, or are
we scaling back or are we being low key? Like
I think that's a factor here too.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
That's a huge factor from like the national national politics,
local politics, global like there is so much to unpack,
and the dinner table, I think is always a good
place to do that. However, with a caveat and an asterisk, like,
I don't think that that's you don't do it at
Thanksgiving and you don't do it at Christmas dinner. Maybe
(17:47):
like twenty year old self was like down to do that.
But I do think like the most impact you're gonna
have is yes, at the dinner table, but not on
a special occasion because nobody wants to do that.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
In my opinion, it's a good way to make sure
that like nobody listens to you ever.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Again, Yeah, basically, it's.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
A long game. It's a very long game, and you
have to be very strategic with how you approach it,
and you know, like people will stop listening to you.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I feel really fortunate that I have not had to
deal with Trumpers in my family directly. They do exist,
but they live in Texas.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Okay, yeah, they're out of state.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
They're out of state, and I also they're a lot
older than me, so they're not like cousins I grew
up with. So there's just a lot of distance, you know,
just by circumstance. So I have not had to deal
with that. But I do hear the rumblings, you know,
and like we're all because they're my Bredey moost edmanos,
like we're all first gen I'm like, your mothers are
all immigrants, fools. Like it's very strange and really fucked up.
(18:50):
And some of my theeas are like even like they're
just done having those conversations with their own kids, and
like even the moms are tired of having that conversation.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
That is so frustrating.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
It's so frustrating.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Oh my gosh, I can't even imagine.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
I know.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
This is the thing that makes me afraid of having children,
right because you can give them every influence, like good influence,
and educate them and teach them and guide them, but
they're gonna make their own decisions. Yep, at the end
of the day. Yes, how horrifying.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
It's scary. You know. We think that we're gonna pop
out these like little progressive babies and we can do
everything in our power to make them progressive, but they
can go in another direction.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Terrifying.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
It is scary.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Listeners, are you scared of birthing Republicans? Is this a
real fear of yours? Because it can happen.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
It can happen, clearly. Yeah, we see it in our
families all the time.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
And then you'll never have a happy Thanksgiving ever again.
Oh sad, that's terrible.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Don't go anywhere, look, amotives, We'll be right back. Let's
talk about navigating intrusive questions because you brought up children, right,
I think you know, we've talked about this before, but
it's like the goalpost always moves right, it's from right.
(20:08):
That's like the conversation. And then once you have kids,
like they don't care about you anymore like you did,
or when are you gonna have the next one?
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
I'm wondering like how we navigate those conversations within our
own families, right, because it's can seem black and white,
but I think there's like a lot of nuance to it,
cause it's I mean, I think black and white in
the sense that like it's really easy to be like no,
like we're not talking about that, but you know, you
have family members that will push and push and kind
of and keep bringing up things that even though you've insisted,
(20:37):
like don't ask me that.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Yeah, this year, my sister God engaged. Everyone's very excited.
So that's everyone's just like buzzing with excitement, and everyone's
like vibrating, of course with excitement. So that's the focus,
which is fabulous and beautiful, and I am so happy
for my sister and her fiance and for the family
and for everybody and it's just like something that everybody's
(21:01):
looking forward to. So of course engagement is one thing.
They still got to get married. The wedding has to happen,
but the conversation is now jumping straight to the grandchildren.
The grandchildren. We're going to have grandchildren. So they're thrilled,
and that's I think something that my sister is also
very ready for. You know, she's at that age. They've
(21:24):
been together a long time, they have this beautiful relationship,
this foundation they've established, so I think that those conversations
are like very welcome at this point, you know. And
it's funny because while everyone was congratulating my sister, then
they would say congratulations Yvonne, and then they would look
at me and say, and maybe you're next, like over
(21:47):
and over and over, and I'm like maybe, I don't know, Like.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Who knows, who knows?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Anything could happen. We'll see. I mean, that would be lovely.
But the focus is one engagement at a time, one
wedding at a time, you know. So that was my
experience with that this year. But people were satisfied because
there is an engagement. Yeah, you know, there is news,
there is there are pending nuptials. Yes, you know, it's
(22:14):
not like every other year where it's like what are guys.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Doing, Who's getting married next?
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Yes, what's happening? So it was it was a very
joyous occasion because of that.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yeah, I love that. A couple of years ago, I
made the mistake of telling my mom that when I
turned thirty, like I had like a five year timeline
to have kids a kid. And she goes and tells
my Matherrin now like, oh she's she said in five years.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
She said, in five years she will have a baby.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Yes, And this is just something I shared with my mom,
you know, thinking it would stay with my mom. No,
she went and told my Madrina, and all of a sudden,
my Motherina starts asking me and she's like, oh, lolsagne's
Mass's mass countdown? And I'm like, who told you that?
And she goes I can put And I'm like, all right,
(23:07):
so my mother, my mother told you. And I told
my mom. I said, hey, I know you've been telling
people about a five year timeline, but like, I'm resetting it,
like it starts now. And she was like what, I'm like, yeah,
like I'm resetting it like five years. Two years ago
that means in three years. No, like, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
That's really soon.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
That's so soon.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
A year of that will be spent actually pregnant. It's
really just two years.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
No no, no, no, no, no no no, we're not there,
not there at all.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Wait too soon? Wait, wait too soon.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
I'm like, I'm thirty one now, No, how old am
i am?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
I thirty two, I'm thirty three.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Oh so I'm thirty two, okay, okay, how old are we?
How old are we? Okay? So I'm thirty two now.
So I'm like, in five years, that'll make me thirty seven.
That feels less scary. Great age, good age, fabulous age,
you know. But I don't know. Maybe my timeline will
reset every year. I'm not sure. Yeah, maybe we'll never sat.
And I'm okay with that, you know. And I'm like,
(24:03):
I've been having to prep my mom in that way,
like okay, and she goes, she'll she'll bring it up
a lot, She's bring it up a lot lately, and
I'm like, I'm okay with it, but I like, I
don't want her to be testing fitting on those patients. Oh,
you know, she'll like say it in front of us.
You know, and of course it's like it's very jokey,
but like you know, eventually, eventually you're like, all right,
(24:26):
that's enough, you major joke, like yeah, and I don't
want it to get there. So I'm like, okay, Mom,
like yeah, that's enough, you know, like I don't want
her to test it or push him too far. I
don't even remember what we were talking about, but I said, oh,
if you know, if we have a kid like X
y Z, and my mom is like all excited and
he goes but it's a big if, like it's a
maybe yeah, you know, And so we were like making
(24:47):
it very clear to her, like we still don't know,
and we're figuring that out. You know what that's gonna
look like for us if that even happens. But you know,
we can't do it because you want us to, like
we love you, I love you, but I can't have
a baby just to make you a grandmother when you're
already a grandmother and a great grandmother.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
I'm not going to have grandkids. She already has a grandkids.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yes, yes, yes, So that's how I've been trying to
navigate it with my Madrina. I'm a little more like
and not that I feed into it, but I'm just like,
you know, I don't really want to burst her bubble.
The senora my Nina is eighty. I'm like, you know,
just we'll see what happens, is what I tell her,
(25:30):
you know, because she's super traditional, very old school, will
always side with Fernando. She's one of those senoras I know.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
And when you got married, you gained an enemy.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Yes, I did. That's so funny, I know. And she's
my Madrina, like she's my mom's eldest sister. She's the eldest,
my Madrina basically my mother and has really served like
this abuelita role in my life as the eldest. And
my mother's mom passed away when I was a year old,
so she's filled that role for me. And so because
(26:03):
of that, I'm like, you know, I can't be too
firm with her. It can't be like mean or rude
or disrespectful. Where it's my mom, I feel like I
must confiance to be like, lady, you got to cut
it out, you.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Know, boundary.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yes, Oh that's so hard, I know, Oh that's so hard.
I don't know her.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
So how do we remain emotionally regulated and sane during
the holidays. How do you do it?
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Okay, Well, I run marathons, so that should tell you
everything you need to know.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
You do you ran two marathons this year?
Speaker 1 (26:36):
I did. I did. And I'm not saying it as
a flex. I'm saying it as like that is a
really big, a really big way that I think I
stay emotionally regulated and sane is by running a lot.
Also have not shared publicly, but I've been on antidepressants
for like six to eight weeks now and that has helped,
(26:58):
I think with my emotion regulation. So this will be
my first time navigating the holidays on meds. In my
thirty plus years, I have never been on any type
of meds for mental health. I've always been open to it,
I've just never really explored it. So this is my
first year navigating the holidays medicated. So we'll see. I'll
(27:20):
report back.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
How do you feel?
Speaker 1 (27:24):
In so many ways, I feel like nothing's changed, But
then when I meet with my psychiatrist, I'm like, oh, yeah,
i am having like less depressive episodes and less anxiety,
and I'm feeling more like focused and like I can
concentrate on the tasks that I need to do. So
I think that it's working. I think that it's helping.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
That's fabulous. Yeah, so good meds.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Good meds. I think you like your meds.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
I think so that's great.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
The first week was horrible. It was rough. My body
was adjusting, so I was like, I felt really sick.
I wasn't sleeping. It was rough. I very much considered
like I can't, I can't continue on. But then my
body adjusted and I'm glad I stuck it out. But
it was it was tough. I'm like, oh, I get
that was partly what kept me from trying meds. I
knew like there's a trial and error period, there's trying
(28:12):
different meds, and I just really didn't want to go
through that. But I felt like it was time and
so that I think is another tool in the toolbox
right for me of staying emotionally regulated using all the
tools that I can, whether that be physical fitness, medication, meditation,
(28:33):
all of that.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Yeah, that's wonderful. I'm so happy for you. Yeah, I
think it's it's tough getting on a regimen of pharmaceuticals. Yes,
it's like they're literally, you know, interacting with your brain chemistry.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yes, Yes, so good for you.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
I say this as I wear my part time sounds.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Sweater but only part time.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Yes, not full time, part time.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
And that's a good thing. It's nice to have a
side gig, have a side hustle.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
I low key wanted to wear this to my psycho appointment. Ah,
I was like, is that too much? I didn't, but
I thought about it.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Tell me about your sweater. What does this mean?
Speaker 1 (29:14):
What does this mean for you?
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Would your psychiatrist understand the cultural implications of the same
sad girl?
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Maybe I don't know. I have a male psychiatrist. Oh
that was not intentional on my end. It just seems
scheduling wise. It just happens. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
I remember there was a tweet one so where someone
was like, oh, all the Latinas are we talking about
how sad they are? Yes, it's a sad girl, this,
sad girl that. But it's true. There's a lot to
be sad about.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
There's so much to be sad about.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
There's sad things happening in the world. God have some empathy. Yes,
If anything, it's just a sign that we're very empathetic.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
We are very empathetic.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Yes, you know the sorrows of the world impact us greatly.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Absolutely, don't go anywhere. Looka Motives will be right back.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
And we're back with more of our episode. I mean
I watched Frankenstein and it's like sat with me.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Oh we watched that together, Yes, yes, I watched it.
We watch it together. And then in New York.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
Yes, yes, And that concept of him not having any
companionship but also not being able to die and feeling pain,
just endless suffering with no end insight. Oh my god, yes,
it hit me. It's so's it's sorrowful. It's so painful
(30:42):
to think of.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Anyways, that's something that made me sad recently, just thinking
about poor Frankenstein.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Well, I mean creature that overlaps I think with this
notion not to be too tangential, right, but this notion
of like Latino's being sad girls and on the press
junk gig like kept everything was while I'm Mexican. Yes,
it all makes sense because I'm Mexican. And it's true.
I see that with the narrative arc between doctor Frankenstein
and the creature, where doctor Frankenstein worked so hard to
(31:13):
create this creature, to create make the scientific discovery and
then had no patience, no understanding, no empathy, no willingness
to learn to teach, just zero patients. And how does
that also mirror our own fathers in some ways?
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Interesting?
Speaker 1 (31:36):
You know? And that made me think of, well, my
own father and just like Latino men, right, and how
they parent and how they father and there of course
there's so many layers of like parenthood fatherhood within Frankenstein
and the novel and now this film, and so that
for me is like what really stuck with me?
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Yeah, I thought of like that life in the film
where doctor Frankenstein says, basically I'm paraphrasing, he was so
focused on accomplishing the thing, on creating the creature that
he never considered what would happen afterwards. Yes, like it
was a desire to accomplish some major scientific feat, not
(32:22):
a desire to bring life into the world. And then
the brother asks him, you know, when you were putting
together this creature, did you ever consider where its soul
would be housed? And it makes me actually think of
doctor Frankenstein as like God, and oh, I created the
(32:43):
world in what three days or whatever the fuck it is?
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Seven days?
Speaker 2 (32:46):
I created the world.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
We rested in the seventh Day, and then he rested.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
I created the world and I created humanity. Good for me,
look what I did. But did God ever think about
what would happen afterwards after we were created? And now
there's billions of people and we're all killing each other
and endless suffering if we want to be really, it does.
(33:11):
And then I was watching Sangred del Toro about Guermo
and he was I thought it was so funny, Like,
just the way that he communicates is so funny to me.
He's like, yes, my grandmother told me these stories of
saints that were undead and they were whipped and flogged,
and you know, they would carry their heads under their
arms and do all these things, and they were really
(33:33):
scary stories for me. They were really scary.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
They're terrifying.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Yeah, he's like, so Catholicism completely completely informs his monsters
and the stories he tells.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
Yes, Catholicism and Gothic and camp overlap.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Oh, they all go together so hard. Yeah. He was
talking about how there's a lot of vampiric elements to
Catholicism and the eating of the flesh and the drinking
of the bloodic very vampiric, the undead saints, the fact
that when we worshiped the crucifix, which is Christ nailed
to across that, you know, we're worshiping this man who
(34:12):
was mutilated and left to.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Rot on a cross, but he rose again. But of
course he rose again, that's where the miracle comes from.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Again, very vampiric, and so yeah, it was just very fascinating.
And so after watching that and watching the film, I
can't not draw, you know, the religious comparisons.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
I sat with it and I rewatched it after we
watched it together, and it was incredible. I'm such a fan, Like,
how can you not be.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Huge, huge fan? And Jacob Alerti was great as a
creatures Miagoth fabulous as Elizabeth, real weirdo. Loved her. She
was so like because initially I think Elizabeth was into
doctor Frankenstein.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Oh yeah, because he's.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Kind of weird, yes, But then she met someone even
weirder in the Creature and that's really what she wanted.
She wanted like the weirdest boy. Yes on the playground, and.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
I love, love, love love Oscar Isaac, but seeing him
in this role, I was like, oh, doctor Frankenstein is
an inceell. Oh absolutely, you know the way in the
film it's portrayed and in the book, but in the
film in particular, it's portrayed. Oscar Isaac's character of doctor
Frankenstein is so enamored with Elizabeth, but then gets upset
(35:36):
and angry when she pulls back, and then is jealous
of the creature because she has clearly affection for him. Yeah,
and then decides to kill the creature because of set
affection and because he's frustrated and doesn't know what to do.
I'm like, this is in cell behavior.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Oh. Absolutely, Doctor Frankenstein is the definition of scaring the hose. Yes,
he he he almost had her. Yes, but he was
too much. Yes, be cool man.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
He was not cool.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
He was not cool.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
He was a weirdo, which we love weird weird can
be good. But he was like a step too far
in a bad way in in cel territory.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
He was the monster.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
Yes, that's the takeaway.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
That is the absolute takeaway. Well, what are you gonna do, listeners?
What did you think? What did you guys think about Frankenstein?
And how do you stay sane and regulated during the holidays.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Did not think we'd be talking about Frankenstein today, but
you know it is a Latino film, like of course,
of course, like but also like the story. I'm like,
this is a Latino story, you know, this is this portrayal,
this interpretation. It is very Latino. It's very Mexican.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
It's very Mexican. It's very tragic. Very beautiful, yes, very
beautifully shot. I saw some criticism of it that it's
like too beautiful. Yeah, right, shut the fuck up, Like
you don't know something beautiful like your trash. Sorry, anyways,
would you guys.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Think the costuming, everything, everything, ever because.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
The production design, yes, the writing, you know.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
I think how I'm going to connect this conversation between
staying sane is watch Frankenstein. That will help you immerse
yourself in art. Whether it's not Frankenstein, it's something else.
Immerse yourself in art, music, film, yeah, books.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
And I think it's also okay whether it's Frankenstein or
The Family Stone or Legally Blonde, any of these films,
you can find yourself in the film. Oh are you
the creature? Are you the true monster in Doctor Frankenstein?
Like are you? Are you s JP in the Family
Stone or are you Luke Wilson? You know, like, who
(37:48):
are you Paulette like mcadam's character. Yes, find yourself in
the art and then ask yourself, is that who you
actually want to be?
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Yeah? I agree?
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Is that who you want to be in the story
of your life?
Speaker 1 (38:00):
That's a very lovely note to end on. Yeah, well,
thank you. Look, I'm motives for tuning in to another
episode of lok A Thought Our Radio. We'll catch you
next time, be Tho. Lok I Thought Our Radio is
executive produced and hosted by me Biosa and me Mala,
also edited by me Viosa
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Loga Longi
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