June 10, 2026 • 41 mins
This week on Locatora, Corissa Hernandez opens up about her journey back to herself after ending an 18-year-long relationship. She shares what it's like to disentangle yourself not only from a relationship but also a business partnership. Corissa shares advice for all women entrepreneurs in committed relationships and how she's building her next venture, Hustle & Heart.
Some exciting updates:
- Loved this episode? Save the date for 6.28.26., we're hosting an event with Corissa!
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- We are consulting producers on a feature film called, "Las Palmas", which explores the social, political, and emotional impacts of the displacements of Latino communities in LA. The film is currently in development and we'd love to tell you all about it! Learn more about it here.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
I'm Cori Sarnandez and you're listening to Lokat Radio. Amazing, amazing.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
We're so happy to have you in studio with us today.
This has been a long time coming. We've been a
long time admirer of you your work, so we're really
thrilled to be in conversation today to talk about everything
you've built and how you've been balancing, balancing all of
it through major life transitions. I think that's something we
can definitely relate to, we know our listeners can relate to,
(00:29):
So we just want to really go there today and
get into all the all the conversation.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Thank you so much. I'm a super fan of you, ladies,
so I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
To be here. Thank you for having me. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
I first, we I think we first became aware of
you and your presence and your work through your businesses.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Yes, chill as we've spent We spent many a night. Yes,
it's always a good time a cell us.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Yes, when when we we filmed a short scripted film
and we had like a cast celebration at Cello.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I love to party party. Yeah, yeah, I see your
community space. I love these stories. They warm my heart.
And then at your restaurant Nativo. Yes.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
When we signed to the Michael Dura Network here at iHeart,
they threw us are like, welcome our launch party at.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Nativil No, what a full circle moment, truly, really my
little bachelorette dinner. Yes, yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Got the chills. Yes, so many special celebrations.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
Yeah, like the businesses that you have created house all
of these memories for I mean not just us, but
like so many people throughout LA.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
And so you're somebody that we've admired and thank you.
We've been following your journey and so we just had
to have you on the show because recently you shared
that you've been going through this major life transition, closing
an eighteen year chapter and entering into a brand new one. Yes,
and so we we just wanted you to come on
(02:01):
and tell your story.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Oh, thank you for sharing your platform. I think it's
a topic that's not talked about enough and it can
feel very isolating. And I know I'm not the only
woman who's had to cross this journey or is thinking
about it. So I love that you're opening space for it.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
But yeah, it's.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Eighteen years, almost two decades of a big chapter of
my life. You know, when I first started my businesses,
it was with my ex partner. So it's an end
of an era in the sense that it didn't just
end with a relationship, but these businesses that we had
(02:39):
built together and what it means moving forward.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Right.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
So, I think that the hardest part for me in
the beginning in creating or making this decision was this
identity crisis that I felt I went through.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Right.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
It was just like, Okay, I was somebody's wife, I
was somebody's business partner.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
We didn't have babies.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
I couldn't, so I saw my businesses as my baby.
So to have it all just kind of crumble, and
for lack of better words, I just felt like, who
the hell am I, you know, And so at first
it was that process of like, I have no idea
who I am, but.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
It was an important realization.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
But because I feel like a lot of us dedicate
ourselves so much to our relationship or our business or
our careers that we forget to just take good care
of ourselves and get to know who we are without
these identifiers.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
And that's been the beauty and restarting.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
I call it a rebirth in my transition is reconnecting
with my inner child and thinking about all the things
that really make me happy and who I am. And
it's been a beautiful journey. Despite the fact that you
know there's there's still pain there, it's still really empowering
to learn.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Oh, I like surfing.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Who would have known I like to surf, and you
know I enjoy gazing at the stars. As simple as
that sounds, I just felt like I never had the
time to tune out and enjoy those slow moments and
that slower pace of life.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
I am.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
There's so much to talk about here, Like you just
like brought up so many really important topics that we
really want to dive into. I mean, something you shared
in your Instagram caption was that after eighteen years, like
you were stepping away not because you don't believe in
love or commitment, but because you chose yourself.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Amen.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
And so I think that's such an important piece for
so many of our listeners, is the choosing yourself absolutely
and the discovery of things like loving to serf, yes,
and the things that are just uniquely you outside of
a pair or a partnership. Can you talk about like
the journey of choosing yourself and did you meet resistance,
(04:58):
did people question you, did people tell you not to
do it?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
And has it been worth it? Yeah? You know, I
feel that.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
I get asked like, okay, eight after eighteen years, like
why'd you stay so long? If you because I do share,
it wasn't like an overnight decision. It's something that I
had gone back and forth on for a long time,
and so people are like, well, why did she stick
around so long?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I think that growing up, you see things that you just.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Accept as normal, right, and so we tend to normalize
things that we shouldn't and it's just like, oh, this
is what marriage is, this is what a relationships supposed
to be like. But what in essence we're doing is
repeating patterns that were taught to us. And so I
think for a long time, because of cultural beliefs around therapy,
(05:48):
I resisted it myself.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
It was just like what does that mean about me?
Speaker 3 (05:52):
I could just pick up a self help book, and
then I found myself in the self help aisle a
little too often.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Yeah, So you know, it was just kind of.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Like a time in my life about six years ago
where I shared a little bit about my infertility journey
and I was challenging. I couldn't have kids. I was
facing infertility. No one talks about it, right, So it
was just kind of a silent suffering. And I feel
(06:23):
that that started this interest and maybe I need some
professional help. I need to talk to somebody, and so
I leaned into therapy, and through therapy, it started kind
of discovering things that were traumas that I was trying
to push back or like push down, but.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
That stuff surfaces.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
You know, if the more you push it down, the
more it's going to resist you and come back up.
And so you know, I have an incredible therapist that
just helped me kind of process a lot of this,
and it came to a point where I started recognizing
that the things I was dealing with in a relationship,
they're not normal and it's not okay, and what narcissism means.
(07:06):
And when I had to hear the word victim, that
I am a victim, it's one of those words that
you're like me, no way, I have a master's degree.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Well, who the hell cares?
Speaker 3 (07:19):
That doesn't mean anything, right, So it's just coming to
terms with mental abuse and that it's an actual thing, right,
And so I had to prioritize the fact that I
had to take care of myself.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
No one's coming to save me.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
I need to take care of my inner child and
make a decision that may not feel good right now,
but I know it is for the best interests for myself.
And so I think that that was the first step
in prioritizing myself and my mental wellness and leaving a
relationship that just didn't serve me anymore.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
How did you reckon with this new realization that you
were victimized by a partner?
Speaker 1 (08:01):
You know, at first, I was just kind of shocked
by it.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Again, it's something that we don't talk about in terms
of what what is mental abuse? And how do you
recognize that you are in a situation like this. I
think that I had to read a little bit more
about what narcissism is. I picked up a lot of books,
and I heard other women in some of these books
talk about you know, they were professionals, and on the exterior,
(08:28):
they looked like they had it all together, but they
didn't recognize that they were also going through, you know,
some type of abuse and victims because of how narcissism works.
And so I think that helped me kind of start
processing what this term means. Remove the negative connotation. It
is negative, but in a sense where I was resisting,
(08:50):
like I can't.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Be a victim.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
I'm not, you know, I'm not acting like what you
would imagine a victim would look like.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
I don't know if that's making sense. Does Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Absolutely, like challenging what what your maybe preconceived notions or
what you've been taught to believe a victim quote looks like.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Yes, yes, yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
And I mean you're you're beautiful, you're a glamorous, you're stylish,
you're a business owner, you're out in the community, you're
launching new businesses. I mean, I'm sure as surprised as
you were to learn about your own experience, I'm sure
there were people in your life who were also surprised.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Oh one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
And I feel, even like I feel right now, is
the first time I can verbalize that publicly. And again
it's because you know, beautiful women like you are creating
space to have these conversations, and for a long time,
I didn't want to go public about it. And I
think that that leans into me being a victim, being
(09:50):
afraid to what's going to happen if I say this,
how is it going to backlash on me?
Speaker 1 (09:55):
But the fact of the matter is, like healing.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
It is accepting it, verbalizing. And then I had read
a long time ago about healing being in community where
you're able to bring it to light. Maybe it helps
other people and together we heal all together.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Yeah, that's a really beautiful way to look at healing, right,
is like we have to do it in community because
it's so in so many ways. Abuse, bad relationships, right,
can really make you feel really isolated. You can feel alone.
But the reality is many of us go through these
types of relationships or have gone through them. And so
(10:38):
when we speak truth to power, or when we use
our voice, when we say it out loud, we're releasing
any like internalized shame that we may have about it,
or things that we've been taught to feel. We release
the things that are not ourstcarry anymore on.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yeah, And I feel even just sitting here conversating about
it is healing. Yeah, you went to therapy.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Yes, you got a grasp on what you were experiencing
in your relationship and that you were in a relationship
with a narcissist and how it impacted you from there?
Speaker 1 (11:11):
What steps did you take to then say like I'm
ending this.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah, you know, I'm a financial literacy educator and for
a long time I always talk about in my workshops
the importance of having an emergency savings account. And so
I'm in a very privileged place where I did have
an emergency savings account. You know, some of some folks
refer to it as the FU savings account. You got
(11:37):
to protect yourself because you never know, right, I never imagined,
you know, one day just up and leaving. It was
something I always thought, we can work through this, you know,
if we both go to therapy, things.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Will get better.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
If I act this way, then he'll be happier, we'll
both be happy. Until I realized that I was putting
myself second. I was sacrificing my own happiness, and and
you know, I came to terms with it, made a
decision and started talking to him about you know, I
think we should just go our separate ways.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
It was a mutual decision.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
I think he wanted it for a longer time than
I did, to be very honest, which is fine, because
you know, it was for the best. And so I
again am blessed in having somewhere I could leave to.
It wasn't convenient. I had to leave the country so
that I could start over. And you know, at first,
(12:35):
the first morning I woke up with no one next
to me after eighteen years, it was.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Relieving.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
I felt like I woke up with no anxiety. And
I thought Jesus, like I was living with that much
anxiety where I'd wake up in the morning, like what
mood are they going to be in? Yeah? You know,
should I make breakfast? You know, like things that I
didn't have to worry about. Where it was now my
own tune. And I think that the beauty in that
(13:05):
was rediscovering my routine. So what does this new routine
look like? And I know it wasn't going to be
perfect in the beginning, but that I would, you know,
smooth into it, figure that out. And I did, and
I started loving it and having a good time with
it and figuring out, Okay, where do I go from here?
(13:26):
I had some really hard moments to say that it
was like, oh, this was so empowering, and I, you know,
here I am. There were moments where I felt so
betrayed by everyone. I think that you just go through
you know a lot of silence where you're sitting with yourself,
thinking about, Okay, how are people showing up?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Do they show up? Should they?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Is it uncomfortable? And I remember I felt like I
hit rock bottom. Everyone talks about rock bottom and I
found myself there like osha, I feel like I hit
my rock bottom.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
And the beauty in that was. Yeah, it was.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Hard, but it wasn't as bad as I made it
out to be in my own mind. I think all
these years that I sacrificed, thinking I can't leave.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
What's going to happen to me? I don't want to
hit rock bottom.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
That fear. I saw what it is. It's almost like
you feel it, you get.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Familiar with it. You're like, oh, I'm just going to
stand up.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
That's myself up and there's only one direction to go
from here. And so feeling that grounding, I feel like
I had to get mad for me. I felt like
I had to get mad to use that anger, to
just channel it into something good. And I think that
that's where I sat in silence. I cried and I
(14:50):
just prayed and asked the universe like where do I
go from here? And I feel like the answer came
back so clearly it's like, lean into what you love.
And I walked away thinking I don't know what that means.
So I reflected on it and I started writing like, oh,
these are the things I'm good at, these are the
(15:11):
things I really love to do. I stared at it
for a long time. Then I had to ask Claude, like.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
What do I do?
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Our good friend, Claude, I don't know what this means?
Where do I go from here? And the idea of
a summit for entrepreneurs was born. And I called it
Hustle and Heart because I just felt like, you know,
there's a lot of hustle that I've put into everything
I do, but it's always been led with heart, leaning
(15:43):
into what I love. And so I started channeling this
fear and anger into something just so passionate.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Don't go anywhere right back.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
It's really cool that from pain you are creating opportunity. Yeah,
And I just get that sense that you're just you
are a creative person. You like to make things. Yeah,
you are like you like to build I do. Where
do you think that comes from?
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (16:19):
You know, I feel it's like one of those intuitive
gifts that you're born with I always like to say
it's a blessing and a curse.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Because there's just this channel of ideas.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
That just come every day to me, like that's a
great idea, And sometimes I got to be like, stop,
we can't go after all of them.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
I don't know where it comes from.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
And I feel like it's just a natural gift of
mind to think of, oh, this is something I would
love to do. I can say that with spaces like
Chelah's and Medievil, for me, it was always finding areas.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
That we need to be represented in.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
So, yeah, I love going to bars and enjoying a
cocktail and having a good time with my friends, and
so then I would see who's behind the brand?
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Right.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
I think that's an important question to have, especially now
more than ever, as our community has gone some really
challenging and difficult times. We need to understand who we're
giving our money to. And oftentimes, you know, in my industry,
it's white male dominated, and so it's just kind of
thinking about what is a space that I really enjoy,
(17:25):
look like, what does it feel like, what are the cocktails,
what is the food, what is the music?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Who are we bringing in?
Speaker 3 (17:31):
And it's filling this gap because there's a lot of
us here, especially in LA. It's just how do we
create safe spaces where we can be seen, celebrated, amplified.
And so that's where the creative process started for me.
I feel like also when you walk into you know,
Latin inspired bars that aren't owned by our community, it
(17:54):
looks like a being at exploded. Yeah, you know, or
it's like the others are you know over were used
fredas everywhere, but if you go to you know, I'm
very blessed. So I can go to my parents' hometown
and visit Mexico and come back and if you go
to you know, Mexico, the bars don't look like that.
(18:14):
And so I wanted to bring the true essence of
what something that represents where I'm from, where a lot
of Latinos can feel seen and validated what it looks like,
and duplicate it here in LA. And so that was
important to me, and then making sure we all see
ourselves in that industry. I know that for me, it's
(18:37):
not just a bar, it's what it represents for a
younger generation to be able to look at me and
be like, if she can do it, I can too,
and so with the Entrepreneurs Summit, it's also bridging the
gap for entrepreneurs who like me, come from immigrant household,
no generational wealth, no mentors, no nothing other than gannas
(19:00):
big dreams and you know, being.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
A little fearless.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
And how do we start changing that so that we
stop trial and erring stuff.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
How do we pave the way?
Speaker 3 (19:11):
How do we teach from the lessons we've learned and
supporting others that are going through right now or thinking
about how do I start a business? Our dreams deserve
to thrive and they're not right now.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Yeah, that's a really powerful statement you just made, Right,
Where are dreams you deserve to thrive? And this current
political climate makes it really hard to even dream like
the next five years?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Right, it's hard to think about that when your.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Community's under attack. How do you dream up like another space,
another project? And I'm wondering for you right now, in
this transition that you've been going through as a business woman,
as someone with multiple businesses, you know, advice that you
would have for women who are married and are starting
(19:58):
their business ventures and like what kind of protection for
their own businesses and their own creative dreams?
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Right? Yes, you know.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
I think that if the idea is yours and you've
created it and you've poured your heart into it, there's
no reason you should feel obligated to add someone's name
to your corporate docs. Right, it's your project, and double
think that if someone wants to be a part of it,
if they're co creating.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Then get protections.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
You know, there's organizations that provide free legal counsel to
starting businesses that I didn't know about, and those are
through business source centers throughout Los Angeles. You want to
have proper documentation about how that partnership is going to
work in a business. And that's even without you know,
your partner, live life partner, that's just business partnership. Be
(20:53):
clear on operating agreements, that's what you're expecting from the
other partner to bring into that business, what that looks like.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
But I hear too often.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
Because I also, you know, through the summit, I also
do coaching for business owners and they're just like, oh,
it's because he felt that he helped with building the website,
he should be part of Like, no, there's ways to
contract that out, or if you want to make them
feel involved and create a stipend, but you don't have
to add people to your corporate docs. I think that
(21:27):
leaning into free legal counsel through business source centers is
a smart way to go about it to be protected
right out the gates with your businesses. Also, separate bank
accounts for your business. Don't mingle the accounts. Sometimes people
are taking care of personal expenses through the business. That
needs to be separated too, because then you know, there's
(21:50):
other implications that come into the picture there.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
That's what I can think of off the top of
my head.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
You mentioned and we saw this right that your businesses
were launched during your marriage. Were you running the businesses
with your husband or were they like your businesses?
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Right?
Speaker 3 (22:12):
I think that we would co create the idea, right,
but who would be building the brand was heavily on me.
I felt like that was a gift that I had
on how to build brand, how to co create with
the community as well and bring that element there. It's
(22:33):
my passion, it's what I do best. So to not
have had my name added to some businesses even though
I knew better, but because I just didn't want to
get in an argument. Those are big no nosh that
I just wish somebody would have told me like, no,
I don't care who gets mad your name goes on
(22:54):
that corporate doc. Maybe it's the state of California, and
you think that you're protective fifty fifty the it doesn't
always pan out that way. I'm not here to give
legal advice, but you you should never be made to
feel like you shouldn't have your name on the docs
because they love you and you're never going to go
through any bad situations and I promise you I'll take
(23:18):
care of it. There's nothing to worry about. So, but yeah,
and building my businesses on the face of a lot
of my brands.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
Oh yeah, absolutely, I'm I'm We're curious and I'm sure
listeners are curious too about how the businesses are being
divided up and who's running what because I think you're
still very active at nativo and like posting and so
is not evil yours?
Speaker 1 (23:43):
How is this being divided up?
Speaker 3 (23:46):
Yeah, so it's been quite the legal challenge. You know,
you hear often from women going through divorces that you
don't know who they are anymore.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
You never you thought that they would never act that way, And.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
So for me, it was we had agreed I also
have a financial firm that we started right out the gates,
you know, once we were dating, which is also controversial.
Don't don't start a business with a boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
You heard it here.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
So in the beginning I thought, okay, easy fix here
is you keep the financial firm, I.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Keep, not Devil.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
And so the more I started thinking about it, I thought, well,
that's not fair to me. You know, I also built
that financial firm that created salaries for a lot of us,
and I'm entitled to that money too, because and that Devil,
there's other partners involved. We only have a certain percentage.
What does that mean for me? And the restaurant industry
(24:49):
has been going through very challenging time as of the pandemic.
So what deal did I work out in my head?
And so luckily I haven't a attorney who's just like, no,
we need to see.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
All financials before you make any decisions.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
I pour my heart into Nativo because it is a
passion project too.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
I know what it means to the community. We have
a lot of really cool collaborations.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
It's a space for folks that can come in, plug
in activate, where maybe another venue would have not.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Allowed that type of event.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Or charged a lot more for it, so I know
what it represents for the community, which is why I
keep pouring into that. I don't know if I get
to keep it, to be very honest at the end
of the day, which is why I'm focusing on my projects.
You know, I had the Hustle Heart Summit that I
host and I shared with you prior, and I'm excited
(25:47):
to share here is that I'm working on my first
solo project, which is another bar in Boil Heights that
should be coming out around next year this time.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Very exciting. I'm excited why a bar.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
I mean, we loved what you did with Cellas, but
Cella's did close, right, And I mean that must have
been really hard for Chillas to close. You shared that
you really poured a lot of your Juanawatho roots into
Cellas and it was like your baby. Yes, So what
was that like for that bar to close? And then
(26:22):
and then what brought you to now opening a new one?
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Oh that's a great question. So, yeah, you're right Cella's.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
I didn't have kids, so my businesses were my babies.
My family's first home in the United States was Boyle Heights,
so forever it just like, how do I give back
to boil Heights. If you look at my career path,
it's always been in one way or another tied to
Boil Heights. That's just how appreciative I am for the
platform I gave my family and so being able to
(26:49):
create Cella's for those of you who visited, you would
walk in and you'd see elements that were very boil
Heights and urban. We worked with Fabian Deva, who runs
the art Academy for Homeboy, and he did all the murals,
just because I felt like it was so representative of
the community to have Chicano murals in the space.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
And then I.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Married it with a lot of the elements from Juanajuato,
so that old rustic Mexican you know, the furniture, the tiles,
the old Golden Age magazine covers that we had on
the bar of Seine, Mexicano. So to have closed it
after like I literally picked out the tiles and I
(27:33):
laid them.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Out so that like, this is how I wanted.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
My idea was we were going to be there for
twenty twenty five years.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
It was going to be a legacy business.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
Unfortunately, we had issues with the landlord, a whole other,
you know, legal conversation that people should have, people should.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Be reviewing their lease agreements. And so when I.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Closed it, I felt very depressed. I felt like, not
only did I lose something big for me, a lot
of people didn't know that two days later I was
going to undergo hysterectomy, and so I went through two
very big losses in a matter of days, and the
(28:18):
depression that hit me following that was just, you.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Know, terrible.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
I feel that being able to come back to Boil
Heights and during this new era for me is just
kind of a way to show the community that, you know,
one door closes, another better one opens. The reason I
was able to come back to Boil Heights was this
(28:46):
beautiful community of support that showed up. There's a woman
who was a big fan of Celas and Nativo who
approached me. I was like, Hey, I have a project
coming up in in Boil Heights.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
I want you to be my tenant.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
I want you to bring what you did with your
brands and build them here.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Wow. Yeah, And so then.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
We together were able to locate some grants, we got funding,
and so that's how we're able to move forward.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
So it's not just the bar. We do want to
do like daytime.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Food so that people can come plug in, work, have meetings,
have safe spaces to be creative, and then transition into
that fun nightlife that we all love. You know, the
community to this day says how much they missed know
what we brought back in the day.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Don't go anywhere, locomotives and we'll be right back. Yeah,
we loved very similar. You know, we're not both originally
from Boyle Heights. My dad, I don't think I've ever
told you this. When my dad migrated to the US,
he ended up in a ended up in bo Heights
(30:02):
right by White Memorial. Oh and he was living in
a house with other immigrants, right And that's where Lok
I thought I was born outside my Dachi plaza at
Radio Espasio at Espaci eighteen thirty nine, So we would
record on Saturdays and then we'd go have a little
beverage at So for us, you know, the Heights First
(30:22):
Streets is such a part of our story and how
Lok I thought I was born. So yeah, we just
we love we love the community. We have a lot
of adoration for it as well. So to hear. That
is so exciting.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Thanks.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
But I want to ask you also about you know,
navigating all of this loss and you have this public
image and I think all like successful women do, right,
this public image that they're they're doing it all, they
can have it all, and anything that comes up, they're
gonna they're gonna handle it, right, But you went through
major losses and life transitions, and no one is entitled
(30:59):
to our personal stories or struggles, right.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
At the same time, there's this image of success that
women I think are pressure to uphold. But you're sharing
like all the behind the scenes, Now what was really
going on during this time of your life? Yes, So
how have you been thinking about sharing your story publicly
while also knowing like you have this you know, very
(31:23):
like successful powerhouse image, which you still which is still
who you are, right, but you're you're really like going
vulnerable with it.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
I think it's an important conversation, right. I think that
having to go through grief and such silence just didn't
feel good and what I wish I would have had
access to. I think that in a digital era where
everything's on Instagram and TikTok and you know, looking at
statistics of what that says to mental health for young women,
(31:55):
because it's all this glitz and glam when in reality
that's not what life life as always. You know, we're
going to these platforms or hits a dopamine, but at
the same time, it's like this comparison that happened, Well,
no one's going to post all the ugly things they've
had to end you or what they're going through behind
(32:15):
the scenes. So I thought it was an important space
to talk about, you know, there's a lot of pain
that happens at the same time, and what that looks like,
and that it doesn't have to be a space of
victimizing yourself if you're going through grief. It's about how
you lean into resources. Right for me, it's a community
(32:38):
of incredible women, you know, other women who are powerhouses
and also have their you know, individual griefs, whatever that
looks like, and working together through it. Some days my
days are better than others, and vice versa, and we
all kind of lean into each other to have those
conversations with what does there be do for someone, what
(33:00):
does leaning into the things.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
That make you happy look like?
Speaker 3 (33:04):
And so I was inspired through my own experience and
wanting to create a safe space for other people who
may be feeling alone in these decisions. Not everyone's as
privileged as I am to have access to, you know,
women who are open about their experiences. And I feel
(33:25):
like once you open up about it, people start opening
up about themselves. And again through community and talking, it
creates healing.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Yeah, and this I think just like culturally, like going
through a divorce or like a long term separation is
not something that's talked about either. Did any of that
cultural messaging ever mess with your head or like keep
you there longer? In some ways?
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Yes, I feel like I.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
Come from a family like a very traditional women, and
you know, they're very Catholic. I'm very blessed again to
have access to what Jesuit Catholicism looks like, which is
very left leaning. And I've been a longtime parishioner of
Dolores Mission, and I'm very good friends with Father Brendan,
(34:21):
who is like a Jesuit priest who's been at the
forefront of immigrant rights, you know, at all the protests
and you know everything he does.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
And so for me, you know, I was brought up
this way.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
I went to him first and I said I think
I want to get divorced. I'm not doing well and
I'm afraid of what this means. And he said, you
have to do what makes you happy. You know, this
life is intended for you to be a happy person,
(34:57):
and whatever makes you feel happy is what you need
to do. And I don't know, for me, that was
the blessing that for me I needed, you know. And
so I felt enough courage to go to my mom.
And again, I don't know where I came up with
this idea that my mom was going to be like, no,
it's kissed matrimonia, and that wasn't the case. I just
(35:22):
we were in the car and I was just like thinking,
how do I say this? How do I say it?
How do I say it? And then I just blurted
it out. I was like, Mom, I'm getting divorced. And
then she calmly looked over at me. I was like,
is this what you want? And I said yes, and
she's like, then I support you. I'm going to be
(35:43):
here for you.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:44):
Do you think maybe she kind of knew internally?
Speaker 1 (35:47):
I think she's probably relieved.
Speaker 4 (35:50):
She's like I follow yeah, yeah, because mothers. Mothers know
when their daughters are not are not happy?
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Yeah, And you know it's funny because after I had
those two important like folks in my life just be
supportive about it, I didn't.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Care what anyone else thought. Yeah, that was it.
Speaker 3 (36:13):
But I think that I stayed longer than I should
have because in my head I was like, they're not
going to support this, and what am I going to do?
And I don't want to you know, and what's it
going to mean for me? And it's just stuff you
make up. I think that's how fear works. It's just
like idea that things are going to just turn out
(36:35):
worse than they really do.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
Yeah. It sounds like you have not let fear lead,
You've let your heart lead.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:44):
And I'm wondering if you can share like hustle and
heart and Moheta's money in Mescal, Like, how can women
out there participate, how can they join, how can they.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Like take in this aura and learn?
Speaker 4 (36:57):
Because I know you're doing a lot of like money
education and entrepreneurship and for for everybody, but for women
in particular.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
So I know that a lot of folks think, oh,
how does this bar girl now become a money girl?
Speaker 4 (37:09):
Right?
Speaker 1 (37:12):
But a lot of people don't know that.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
I actually started my career as a school teacher, so
I have a master's in education. I was teaching at
Valvedere Modeles School in East LA and I loved it,
But through lived experiences, I saw how the financial industry
greatly overlooks our community and especially Latina women. We talk
about often female founders and in particular Latinas being at
(37:36):
the forefront of starting businesses, yet we're the least likely
to get funded. I think that that has to do
a lot with you know, with Latina's being the ones
opening business at a higher rate, is because we're getting
paid so much less than our white male counterparts. So
(37:56):
we're like, why am I going to work so hard
here when I just leave and start my own thing.
But because we don't have financial education or access to it,
then we're not prepared when we have to present certain
documents to the bank and what they look like and
what that is. So the mohead is money in Mescal
was my attempt to close that gap, to present it
(38:18):
in a way that's familiar, culturally relevant, fem friendly, and
you can be vulnerable and ask the questions that you
need to in a safe space. So The mescal part
comes because I'm also a bar garly and we like
to have fun cocktails and it just creates that fun atmosphere.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
So women want to plug in. I host a series.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
It's quarterly, so every workshop series has a different topic.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
What message do you want women listening to walk away
with today, especially those that are dealing with like these
different versions of themselves and they're like playing to go
war with each other. Yeah, what do you want her
to know? Her?
Speaker 3 (39:00):
A note that when you choose yourself, like the universe
works in your favor, It has your back in every
sense of the way, just the way things start falling
into line. It's not going to be perfect, but it's
something that I want more women to do is prioritize yourself.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
Because there's so much I think cultural conditioning to like
just endure, like just suffering. You know, marriage is suffering, right,
It's not it shouldn't be, but that is like the
message like, well, if you're the woman, there is like
statistically right women are men are better off when they're
married and women fair worse statistically.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
And taking care of everyone but yourself, And how do
you do that if you're not Okay, right, Gordy.
Speaker 4 (39:52):
Said, thank you so much for being here and for
your vulnerability, and thank you for sharing your story and
for creating as much as you do and the opportunities
for women, and I know we want to go to
a future is money and mescal.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
We like we've been sending them to each other, like
we have to go. Well.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
I would love to have you ladies as presenters at
the summit. I mean, you are incredible and inspiring and
people should hear your story. That's that's what the Summit's
all about, is seeing ourselves and what we've been able
to create and you know, paving.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
The way for the next generation.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
I have so much respect and I look up to
both of you because I know this isn't easy and
you're doing beautiful work and the community appreciates you.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
Thank you. We may have a pitch for you.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
We may have a pitch. I love it.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Yes, thank you so much for joining us. This has
been an incredible conversation. We really like, are honored that
you felt safe to come and share your story with us.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
So thank you, Thank you very much. Local
I'm Cori Sarnandez and you're listening to Lokat Radio. Amazing, amazing.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
We're so happy to have you in studio with us today.
This has been a long time coming. We've been a
long time admirer of you your work, so we're really
thrilled to be in conversation today to talk about everything
you've built and how you've been balancing, balancing all of
it through major life transitions. I think that's something we
can definitely relate to, we know our listeners can relate to,
(00:29):
So we just want to really go there today and
get into all the all the conversation.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Thank you so much. I'm a super fan of you, ladies,
so I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
To be here. Thank you for having me. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
I first, we I think we first became aware of
you and your presence and your work through your businesses.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Yes, chill as we've spent We spent many a night. Yes,
it's always a good time a cell us.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Yes, when when we we filmed a short scripted film
and we had like a cast celebration at Cello.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I love to party party. Yeah, yeah, I see your
community space. I love these stories. They warm my heart.
And then at your restaurant Nativo. Yes.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
When we signed to the Michael Dura Network here at iHeart,
they threw us are like, welcome our launch party at.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Nativil No, what a full circle moment, truly, really my
little bachelorette dinner. Yes, yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Got the chills. Yes, so many special celebrations.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
Yeah, like the businesses that you have created house all
of these memories for I mean not just us, but
like so many people throughout LA.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
And so you're somebody that we've admired and thank you.
We've been following your journey and so we just had
to have you on the show because recently you shared
that you've been going through this major life transition, closing
an eighteen year chapter and entering into a brand new one. Yes,
and so we we just wanted you to come on
(02:01):
and tell your story.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Oh, thank you for sharing your platform. I think it's
a topic that's not talked about enough and it can
feel very isolating. And I know I'm not the only
woman who's had to cross this journey or is thinking
about it. So I love that you're opening space for it.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
But yeah, it's.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Eighteen years, almost two decades of a big chapter of
my life. You know, when I first started my businesses,
it was with my ex partner. So it's an end
of an era in the sense that it didn't just
end with a relationship, but these businesses that we had
(02:39):
built together and what it means moving forward.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Right.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
So, I think that the hardest part for me in
the beginning in creating or making this decision was this
identity crisis that I felt I went through.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Right.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
It was just like, Okay, I was somebody's wife, I
was somebody's business partner.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
We didn't have babies.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
I couldn't, so I saw my businesses as my baby.
So to have it all just kind of crumble, and
for lack of better words, I just felt like, who
the hell am I, you know, And so at first
it was that process of like, I have no idea
who I am, but.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
It was an important realization.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
But because I feel like a lot of us dedicate
ourselves so much to our relationship or our business or
our careers that we forget to just take good care
of ourselves and get to know who we are without
these identifiers.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
And that's been the beauty and restarting.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
I call it a rebirth in my transition is reconnecting
with my inner child and thinking about all the things
that really make me happy and who I am. And
it's been a beautiful journey. Despite the fact that you
know there's there's still pain there, it's still really empowering
to learn.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Oh, I like surfing.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Who would have known I like to surf, and you
know I enjoy gazing at the stars. As simple as
that sounds, I just felt like I never had the
time to tune out and enjoy those slow moments and
that slower pace of life.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
I am.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
There's so much to talk about here, Like you just
like brought up so many really important topics that we
really want to dive into. I mean, something you shared
in your Instagram caption was that after eighteen years, like
you were stepping away not because you don't believe in
love or commitment, but because you chose yourself.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Amen.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
And so I think that's such an important piece for
so many of our listeners, is the choosing yourself absolutely
and the discovery of things like loving to serf, yes,
and the things that are just uniquely you outside of
a pair or a partnership. Can you talk about like
the journey of choosing yourself and did you meet resistance,
(04:58):
did people question you, did people tell you not to
do it?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
And has it been worth it? Yeah? You know, I
feel that.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
I get asked like, okay, eight after eighteen years, like
why'd you stay so long? If you because I do share,
it wasn't like an overnight decision. It's something that I
had gone back and forth on for a long time,
and so people are like, well, why did she stick
around so long?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I think that growing up, you see things that you just.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Accept as normal, right, and so we tend to normalize
things that we shouldn't and it's just like, oh, this
is what marriage is, this is what a relationships supposed
to be like. But what in essence we're doing is
repeating patterns that were taught to us. And so I
think for a long time, because of cultural beliefs around therapy,
(05:48):
I resisted it myself.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
It was just like what does that mean about me?
Speaker 3 (05:52):
I could just pick up a self help book, and
then I found myself in the self help aisle a
little too often.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Yeah, So you know, it was just kind of.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Like a time in my life about six years ago
where I shared a little bit about my infertility journey
and I was challenging. I couldn't have kids. I was
facing infertility. No one talks about it, right, So it
was just kind of a silent suffering. And I feel
(06:23):
that that started this interest and maybe I need some
professional help. I need to talk to somebody, and so
I leaned into therapy, and through therapy, it started kind
of discovering things that were traumas that I was trying
to push back or like push down, but.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
That stuff surfaces.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
You know, if the more you push it down, the
more it's going to resist you and come back up.
And so you know, I have an incredible therapist that
just helped me kind of process a lot of this,
and it came to a point where I started recognizing
that the things I was dealing with in a relationship,
they're not normal and it's not okay, and what narcissism means.
(07:06):
And when I had to hear the word victim, that
I am a victim, it's one of those words that
you're like me, no way, I have a master's degree.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Well, who the hell cares?
Speaker 3 (07:19):
That doesn't mean anything, right, So it's just coming to
terms with mental abuse and that it's an actual thing, right,
And so I had to prioritize the fact that I
had to take care of myself.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
No one's coming to save me.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
I need to take care of my inner child and
make a decision that may not feel good right now,
but I know it is for the best interests for myself.
And so I think that that was the first step
in prioritizing myself and my mental wellness and leaving a
relationship that just didn't serve me anymore.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
How did you reckon with this new realization that you
were victimized by a partner?
Speaker 1 (08:01):
You know, at first, I was just kind of shocked
by it.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Again, it's something that we don't talk about in terms
of what what is mental abuse? And how do you
recognize that you are in a situation like this. I
think that I had to read a little bit more
about what narcissism is. I picked up a lot of books,
and I heard other women in some of these books
talk about you know, they were professionals, and on the exterior,
(08:28):
they looked like they had it all together, but they
didn't recognize that they were also going through, you know,
some type of abuse and victims because of how narcissism works.
And so I think that helped me kind of start
processing what this term means. Remove the negative connotation. It
is negative, but in a sense where I was resisting,
(08:50):
like I can't.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Be a victim.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
I'm not, you know, I'm not acting like what you
would imagine a victim would look like.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
I don't know if that's making sense. Does Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Absolutely, like challenging what what your maybe preconceived notions or
what you've been taught to believe a victim quote looks like.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Yes, yes, yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
And I mean you're you're beautiful, you're a glamorous, you're stylish,
you're a business owner, you're out in the community, you're
launching new businesses. I mean, I'm sure as surprised as
you were to learn about your own experience, I'm sure
there were people in your life who were also surprised.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Oh one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
And I feel, even like I feel right now, is
the first time I can verbalize that publicly. And again
it's because you know, beautiful women like you are creating
space to have these conversations, and for a long time,
I didn't want to go public about it. And I
think that that leans into me being a victim, being
(09:50):
afraid to what's going to happen if I say this,
how is it going to backlash on me?
Speaker 1 (09:55):
But the fact of the matter is, like healing.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
It is accepting it, verbalizing. And then I had read
a long time ago about healing being in community where
you're able to bring it to light. Maybe it helps
other people and together we heal all together.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Yeah, that's a really beautiful way to look at healing, right,
is like we have to do it in community because
it's so in so many ways. Abuse, bad relationships, right,
can really make you feel really isolated. You can feel alone.
But the reality is many of us go through these
types of relationships or have gone through them. And so
(10:38):
when we speak truth to power, or when we use
our voice, when we say it out loud, we're releasing
any like internalized shame that we may have about it,
or things that we've been taught to feel. We release
the things that are not ourstcarry anymore on.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yeah, And I feel even just sitting here conversating about
it is healing. Yeah, you went to therapy.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Yes, you got a grasp on what you were experiencing
in your relationship and that you were in a relationship
with a narcissist and how it impacted you from there?
Speaker 1 (11:11):
What steps did you take to then say like I'm
ending this.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah, you know, I'm a financial literacy educator and for
a long time I always talk about in my workshops
the importance of having an emergency savings account. And so
I'm in a very privileged place where I did have
an emergency savings account. You know, some of some folks
refer to it as the FU savings account. You got
(11:37):
to protect yourself because you never know, right, I never imagined,
you know, one day just up and leaving. It was
something I always thought, we can work through this, you know,
if we both go to therapy, things.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Will get better.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
If I act this way, then he'll be happier, we'll
both be happy. Until I realized that I was putting
myself second. I was sacrificing my own happiness, and and
you know, I came to terms with it, made a
decision and started talking to him about you know, I
think we should just go our separate ways.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
It was a mutual decision.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
I think he wanted it for a longer time than
I did, to be very honest, which is fine, because
you know, it was for the best. And so I
again am blessed in having somewhere I could leave to.
It wasn't convenient. I had to leave the country so
that I could start over. And you know, at first,
(12:35):
the first morning I woke up with no one next
to me after eighteen years, it was.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Relieving.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
I felt like I woke up with no anxiety. And
I thought Jesus, like I was living with that much
anxiety where I'd wake up in the morning, like what
mood are they going to be in? Yeah? You know,
should I make breakfast? You know, like things that I
didn't have to worry about. Where it was now my
own tune. And I think that the beauty in that
(13:05):
was rediscovering my routine. So what does this new routine
look like? And I know it wasn't going to be
perfect in the beginning, but that I would, you know,
smooth into it, figure that out. And I did, and
I started loving it and having a good time with
it and figuring out, Okay, where do I go from here?
(13:26):
I had some really hard moments to say that it
was like, oh, this was so empowering, and I, you know,
here I am. There were moments where I felt so
betrayed by everyone. I think that you just go through
you know a lot of silence where you're sitting with yourself,
thinking about, Okay, how are people showing up?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Do they show up? Should they?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Is it uncomfortable? And I remember I felt like I
hit rock bottom. Everyone talks about rock bottom and I
found myself there like osha, I feel like I hit
my rock bottom.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
And the beauty in that was. Yeah, it was.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
Hard, but it wasn't as bad as I made it
out to be in my own mind. I think all
these years that I sacrificed, thinking I can't leave.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
What's going to happen to me? I don't want to
hit rock bottom.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
That fear. I saw what it is. It's almost like
you feel it, you get.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Familiar with it. You're like, oh, I'm just going to
stand up.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
That's myself up and there's only one direction to go
from here. And so feeling that grounding, I feel like
I had to get mad for me. I felt like
I had to get mad to use that anger, to
just channel it into something good. And I think that
that's where I sat in silence. I cried and I
(14:50):
just prayed and asked the universe like where do I
go from here? And I feel like the answer came
back so clearly it's like, lean into what you love.
And I walked away thinking I don't know what that means.
So I reflected on it and I started writing like, oh,
these are the things I'm good at, these are the
(15:11):
things I really love to do. I stared at it
for a long time. Then I had to ask Claude, like.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
What do I do?
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Our good friend, Claude, I don't know what this means?
Where do I go from here? And the idea of
a summit for entrepreneurs was born. And I called it
Hustle and Heart because I just felt like, you know,
there's a lot of hustle that I've put into everything
I do, but it's always been led with heart, leaning
(15:43):
into what I love. And so I started channeling this
fear and anger into something just so passionate.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Don't go anywhere right back.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
It's really cool that from pain you are creating opportunity. Yeah,
And I just get that sense that you're just you
are a creative person. You like to make things. Yeah,
you are like you like to build I do. Where
do you think that comes from?
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (16:19):
You know, I feel it's like one of those intuitive
gifts that you're born with I always like to say
it's a blessing and a curse.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Because there's just this channel of ideas.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
That just come every day to me, like that's a
great idea, And sometimes I got to be like, stop,
we can't go after all of them.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
I don't know where it comes from.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
And I feel like it's just a natural gift of
mind to think of, oh, this is something I would
love to do. I can say that with spaces like
Chelah's and Medievil, for me, it was always finding areas.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
That we need to be represented in.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
So, yeah, I love going to bars and enjoying a
cocktail and having a good time with my friends, and
so then I would see who's behind the brand?
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Right.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
I think that's an important question to have, especially now
more than ever, as our community has gone some really
challenging and difficult times. We need to understand who we're
giving our money to. And oftentimes, you know, in my industry,
it's white male dominated, and so it's just kind of
thinking about what is a space that I really enjoy,
(17:25):
look like, what does it feel like, what are the cocktails,
what is the food, what is the music?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Who are we bringing in?
Speaker 3 (17:31):
And it's filling this gap because there's a lot of
us here, especially in LA. It's just how do we
create safe spaces where we can be seen, celebrated, amplified.
And so that's where the creative process started for me.
I feel like also when you walk into you know,
Latin inspired bars that aren't owned by our community, it
(17:54):
looks like a being at exploded. Yeah, you know, or
it's like the others are you know over were used
fredas everywhere, but if you go to you know, I'm
very blessed. So I can go to my parents' hometown
and visit Mexico and come back and if you go
to you know, Mexico, the bars don't look like that.
(18:14):
And so I wanted to bring the true essence of
what something that represents where I'm from, where a lot
of Latinos can feel seen and validated what it looks like,
and duplicate it here in LA. And so that was
important to me, and then making sure we all see
ourselves in that industry. I know that for me, it's
(18:37):
not just a bar, it's what it represents for a
younger generation to be able to look at me and
be like, if she can do it, I can too,
and so with the Entrepreneurs Summit, it's also bridging the
gap for entrepreneurs who like me, come from immigrant household,
no generational wealth, no mentors, no nothing other than gannas
(19:00):
big dreams and you know, being.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
A little fearless.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
And how do we start changing that so that we
stop trial and erring stuff.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
How do we pave the way?
Speaker 3 (19:11):
How do we teach from the lessons we've learned and
supporting others that are going through right now or thinking
about how do I start a business? Our dreams deserve
to thrive and they're not right now.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Yeah, that's a really powerful statement you just made, Right,
Where are dreams you deserve to thrive? And this current
political climate makes it really hard to even dream like
the next five years?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Right, it's hard to think about that when your.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Community's under attack. How do you dream up like another space,
another project? And I'm wondering for you right now, in
this transition that you've been going through as a business woman,
as someone with multiple businesses, you know, advice that you
would have for women who are married and are starting
(19:58):
their business ventures and like what kind of protection for
their own businesses and their own creative dreams?
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Right? Yes, you know.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
I think that if the idea is yours and you've
created it and you've poured your heart into it, there's
no reason you should feel obligated to add someone's name
to your corporate docs. Right, it's your project, and double
think that if someone wants to be a part of it,
if they're co creating.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Then get protections.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
You know, there's organizations that provide free legal counsel to
starting businesses that I didn't know about, and those are
through business source centers throughout Los Angeles. You want to
have proper documentation about how that partnership is going to
work in a business. And that's even without you know,
your partner, live life partner, that's just business partnership. Be
(20:53):
clear on operating agreements, that's what you're expecting from the
other partner to bring into that business, what that looks like.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
But I hear too often.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
Because I also, you know, through the summit, I also
do coaching for business owners and they're just like, oh,
it's because he felt that he helped with building the website,
he should be part of Like, no, there's ways to
contract that out, or if you want to make them
feel involved and create a stipend, but you don't have
to add people to your corporate docs. I think that
(21:27):
leaning into free legal counsel through business source centers is
a smart way to go about it to be protected
right out the gates with your businesses. Also, separate bank
accounts for your business. Don't mingle the accounts. Sometimes people
are taking care of personal expenses through the business. That
needs to be separated too, because then you know, there's
(21:50):
other implications that come into the picture there.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
That's what I can think of off the top of
my head.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
You mentioned and we saw this right that your businesses
were launched during your marriage. Were you running the businesses
with your husband or were they like your businesses?
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Right?
Speaker 3 (22:12):
I think that we would co create the idea, right,
but who would be building the brand was heavily on me.
I felt like that was a gift that I had
on how to build brand, how to co create with
the community as well and bring that element there. It's
(22:33):
my passion, it's what I do best. So to not
have had my name added to some businesses even though
I knew better, but because I just didn't want to
get in an argument. Those are big no nosh that
I just wish somebody would have told me like, no,
I don't care who gets mad your name goes on
(22:54):
that corporate doc. Maybe it's the state of California, and
you think that you're protective fifty fifty the it doesn't
always pan out that way. I'm not here to give
legal advice, but you you should never be made to
feel like you shouldn't have your name on the docs
because they love you and you're never going to go
through any bad situations and I promise you I'll take
(23:18):
care of it. There's nothing to worry about. So, but yeah,
and building my businesses on the face of a lot
of my brands.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
Oh yeah, absolutely, I'm I'm We're curious and I'm sure
listeners are curious too about how the businesses are being
divided up and who's running what because I think you're
still very active at nativo and like posting and so
is not evil yours?
Speaker 1 (23:43):
How is this being divided up?
Speaker 3 (23:46):
Yeah, so it's been quite the legal challenge. You know,
you hear often from women going through divorces that you
don't know who they are anymore.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
You never you thought that they would never act that way, And.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
So for me, it was we had agreed I also
have a financial firm that we started right out the gates,
you know, once we were dating, which is also controversial.
Don't don't start a business with a boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
You heard it here.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
So in the beginning I thought, okay, easy fix here
is you keep the financial firm, I.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Keep, not Devil.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
And so the more I started thinking about it, I thought, well,
that's not fair to me. You know, I also built
that financial firm that created salaries for a lot of us,
and I'm entitled to that money too, because and that Devil,
there's other partners involved. We only have a certain percentage.
What does that mean for me? And the restaurant industry
(24:49):
has been going through very challenging time as of the pandemic.
So what deal did I work out in my head?
And so luckily I haven't a attorney who's just like, no,
we need to see.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
All financials before you make any decisions.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
I pour my heart into Nativo because it is a
passion project too.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
I know what it means to the community. We have
a lot of really cool collaborations.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
It's a space for folks that can come in, plug
in activate, where maybe another venue would have not.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Allowed that type of event.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Or charged a lot more for it, so I know
what it represents for the community, which is why I
keep pouring into that. I don't know if I get
to keep it, to be very honest at the end
of the day, which is why I'm focusing on my projects.
You know, I had the Hustle Heart Summit that I
host and I shared with you prior, and I'm excited
(25:47):
to share here is that I'm working on my first
solo project, which is another bar in Boil Heights that
should be coming out around next year this time.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Very exciting. I'm excited why a bar.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
I mean, we loved what you did with Cellas, but
Cella's did close, right, And I mean that must have
been really hard for Chillas to close. You shared that
you really poured a lot of your Juanawatho roots into
Cellas and it was like your baby. Yes, So what
was that like for that bar to close? And then
(26:22):
and then what brought you to now opening a new one?
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Oh that's a great question. So, yeah, you're right Cella's.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
I didn't have kids, so my businesses were my babies.
My family's first home in the United States was Boyle Heights,
so forever it just like, how do I give back
to boil Heights. If you look at my career path,
it's always been in one way or another tied to
Boil Heights. That's just how appreciative I am for the
platform I gave my family and so being able to
(26:49):
create Cella's for those of you who visited, you would
walk in and you'd see elements that were very boil
Heights and urban. We worked with Fabian Deva, who runs
the art Academy for Homeboy, and he did all the murals,
just because I felt like it was so representative of
the community to have Chicano murals in the space.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
And then I.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Married it with a lot of the elements from Juanajuato,
so that old rustic Mexican you know, the furniture, the tiles,
the old Golden Age magazine covers that we had on
the bar of Seine, Mexicano. So to have closed it
after like I literally picked out the tiles and I
(27:33):
laid them.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Out so that like, this is how I wanted.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
My idea was we were going to be there for
twenty twenty five years.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
It was going to be a legacy business.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
Unfortunately, we had issues with the landlord, a whole other,
you know, legal conversation that people should have, people should.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Be reviewing their lease agreements. And so when I.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Closed it, I felt very depressed. I felt like, not
only did I lose something big for me, a lot
of people didn't know that two days later I was
going to undergo hysterectomy, and so I went through two
very big losses in a matter of days, and the
(28:18):
depression that hit me following that was just, you.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Know, terrible.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
I feel that being able to come back to Boil
Heights and during this new era for me is just
kind of a way to show the community that, you know,
one door closes, another better one opens. The reason I
was able to come back to Boil Heights was this
(28:46):
beautiful community of support that showed up. There's a woman
who was a big fan of Celas and Nativo who
approached me. I was like, Hey, I have a project
coming up in in Boil Heights.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
I want you to be my tenant.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
I want you to bring what you did with your
brands and build them here.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Wow. Yeah, And so then.
Speaker 3 (29:10):
We together were able to locate some grants, we got funding,
and so that's how we're able to move forward.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
So it's not just the bar. We do want to
do like daytime.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Food so that people can come plug in, work, have meetings,
have safe spaces to be creative, and then transition into
that fun nightlife that we all love. You know, the
community to this day says how much they missed know
what we brought back in the day.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Don't go anywhere, locomotives and we'll be right back. Yeah,
we loved very similar. You know, we're not both originally
from Boyle Heights. My dad, I don't think I've ever
told you this. When my dad migrated to the US,
he ended up in a ended up in bo Heights
(30:02):
right by White Memorial. Oh and he was living in
a house with other immigrants, right And that's where Lok
I thought I was born outside my Dachi plaza at
Radio Espasio at Espaci eighteen thirty nine, So we would
record on Saturdays and then we'd go have a little
beverage at So for us, you know, the Heights First
(30:22):
Streets is such a part of our story and how
Lok I thought I was born. So yeah, we just
we love we love the community. We have a lot
of adoration for it as well. So to hear. That
is so exciting.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Thanks.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
But I want to ask you also about you know,
navigating all of this loss and you have this public
image and I think all like successful women do, right,
this public image that they're they're doing it all, they
can have it all, and anything that comes up, they're
gonna they're gonna handle it, right, But you went through
major losses and life transitions, and no one is entitled
(30:59):
to our personal stories or struggles, right.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
At the same time, there's this image of success that
women I think are pressure to uphold. But you're sharing
like all the behind the scenes, Now what was really
going on during this time of your life? Yes, So
how have you been thinking about sharing your story publicly
while also knowing like you have this you know, very
(31:23):
like successful powerhouse image, which you still which is still
who you are, right, but you're you're really like going
vulnerable with it.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
I think it's an important conversation, right. I think that
having to go through grief and such silence just didn't
feel good and what I wish I would have had
access to. I think that in a digital era where
everything's on Instagram and TikTok and you know, looking at
statistics of what that says to mental health for young women,
(31:55):
because it's all this glitz and glam when in reality
that's not what life life as always. You know, we're
going to these platforms or hits a dopamine, but at
the same time, it's like this comparison that happened, Well,
no one's going to post all the ugly things they've
had to end you or what they're going through behind
(32:15):
the scenes. So I thought it was an important space
to talk about, you know, there's a lot of pain
that happens at the same time, and what that looks like,
and that it doesn't have to be a space of
victimizing yourself if you're going through grief. It's about how
you lean into resources. Right for me, it's a community
(32:38):
of incredible women, you know, other women who are powerhouses
and also have their you know, individual griefs, whatever that
looks like, and working together through it. Some days my
days are better than others, and vice versa, and we
all kind of lean into each other to have those
conversations with what does there be do for someone, what
(33:00):
does leaning into the things.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
That make you happy look like?
Speaker 3 (33:04):
And so I was inspired through my own experience and
wanting to create a safe space for other people who
may be feeling alone in these decisions. Not everyone's as
privileged as I am to have access to, you know,
women who are open about their experiences. And I feel
(33:25):
like once you open up about it, people start opening
up about themselves. And again through community and talking, it
creates healing.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Yeah, and this I think just like culturally, like going
through a divorce or like a long term separation is
not something that's talked about either. Did any of that
cultural messaging ever mess with your head or like keep
you there longer? In some ways?
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Yes, I feel like I.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
Come from a family like a very traditional women, and
you know, they're very Catholic. I'm very blessed again to
have access to what Jesuit Catholicism looks like, which is
very left leaning. And I've been a longtime parishioner of
Dolores Mission, and I'm very good friends with Father Brendan,
(34:21):
who is like a Jesuit priest who's been at the
forefront of immigrant rights, you know, at all the protests
and you know everything he does.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
And so for me, you know, I was brought up
this way.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
I went to him first and I said I think
I want to get divorced. I'm not doing well and
I'm afraid of what this means. And he said, you
have to do what makes you happy. You know, this
life is intended for you to be a happy person,
(34:57):
and whatever makes you feel happy is what you need
to do. And I don't know, for me, that was
the blessing that for me I needed, you know. And
so I felt enough courage to go to my mom.
And again, I don't know where I came up with
this idea that my mom was going to be like, no,
it's kissed matrimonia, and that wasn't the case. I just
(35:22):
we were in the car and I was just like thinking,
how do I say this? How do I say it?
How do I say it? And then I just blurted
it out. I was like, Mom, I'm getting divorced. And
then she calmly looked over at me. I was like,
is this what you want? And I said yes, and
she's like, then I support you. I'm going to be
(35:43):
here for you.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:44):
Do you think maybe she kind of knew internally?
Speaker 1 (35:47):
I think she's probably relieved.
Speaker 4 (35:50):
She's like I follow yeah, yeah, because mothers. Mothers know
when their daughters are not are not happy?
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Yeah, And you know it's funny because after I had
those two important like folks in my life just be
supportive about it, I didn't.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Care what anyone else thought. Yeah, that was it.
Speaker 3 (36:13):
But I think that I stayed longer than I should
have because in my head I was like, they're not
going to support this, and what am I going to do?
And I don't want to you know, and what's it
going to mean for me? And it's just stuff you
make up. I think that's how fear works. It's just
like idea that things are going to just turn out
(36:35):
worse than they really do.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
Yeah. It sounds like you have not let fear lead,
You've let your heart lead.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:44):
And I'm wondering if you can share like hustle and
heart and Moheta's money in Mescal, Like, how can women
out there participate, how can they join, how can they.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Like take in this aura and learn?
Speaker 4 (36:57):
Because I know you're doing a lot of like money
education and entrepreneurship and for for everybody, but for women
in particular.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
So I know that a lot of folks think, oh,
how does this bar girl now become a money girl?
Speaker 4 (37:09):
Right?
Speaker 1 (37:12):
But a lot of people don't know that.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
I actually started my career as a school teacher, so
I have a master's in education. I was teaching at
Valvedere Modeles School in East LA and I loved it,
But through lived experiences, I saw how the financial industry
greatly overlooks our community and especially Latina women. We talk
about often female founders and in particular Latinas being at
(37:36):
the forefront of starting businesses, yet we're the least likely
to get funded. I think that that has to do
a lot with you know, with Latina's being the ones
opening business at a higher rate, is because we're getting
paid so much less than our white male counterparts. So
(37:56):
we're like, why am I going to work so hard
here when I just leave and start my own thing.
But because we don't have financial education or access to it,
then we're not prepared when we have to present certain
documents to the bank and what they look like and
what that is. So the mohead is money in Mescal
was my attempt to close that gap, to present it
(38:18):
in a way that's familiar, culturally relevant, fem friendly, and
you can be vulnerable and ask the questions that you
need to in a safe space. So The mescal part
comes because I'm also a bar garly and we like
to have fun cocktails and it just creates that fun atmosphere.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
So women want to plug in. I host a series.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
It's quarterly, so every workshop series has a different topic.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
What message do you want women listening to walk away
with today, especially those that are dealing with like these
different versions of themselves and they're like playing to go
war with each other. Yeah, what do you want her
to know? Her?
Speaker 3 (39:00):
A note that when you choose yourself, like the universe
works in your favor, It has your back in every
sense of the way, just the way things start falling
into line. It's not going to be perfect, but it's
something that I want more women to do is prioritize yourself.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
Because there's so much I think cultural conditioning to like
just endure, like just suffering. You know, marriage is suffering, right,
It's not it shouldn't be, but that is like the
message like, well, if you're the woman, there is like
statistically right women are men are better off when they're
married and women fair worse statistically.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
And taking care of everyone but yourself, And how do
you do that if you're not Okay, right, Gordy.
Speaker 4 (39:52):
Said, thank you so much for being here and for
your vulnerability, and thank you for sharing your story and
for creating as much as you do and the opportunities
for women, and I know we want to go to
a future is money and mescal.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
We like we've been sending them to each other, like
we have to go. Well.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
I would love to have you ladies as presenters at
the summit. I mean, you are incredible and inspiring and
people should hear your story. That's that's what the Summit's
all about, is seeing ourselves and what we've been able
to create and you know, paving.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
The way for the next generation.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
I have so much respect and I look up to
both of you because I know this isn't easy and
you're doing beautiful work and the community appreciates you.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
Thank you. We may have a pitch for you.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
We may have a pitch. I love it.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Yes, thank you so much for joining us. This has
been an incredible conversation. We really like, are honored that
you felt safe to come and share your story with us.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
So thank you, Thank you very much. Local
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