July 22, 2026 • 44 mins
Diosa and Mala welcome a third Locatora to this week's episode! Fitness instructor, lifestyle creator, and the internet's big sis, Vicky Loza, joins Locatora Radio as a guest host. The trio discuss the power of girl talk and the liberating practice of sharing your story. In this episode learn about ethical chisme as resource sharing, breaking free from el que dirán, and how not to make a romantic relationship the center of your universe.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
In your own work and in your own relationships, Like
have you ever had that like tug of war about
like the content or like the type of.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Work without him saying it. In my last relationship, I
feel like I made myself a little censored, like I
would say things online. But like again, like i've I've
always been a yappy person, but I think while I
was in my relationship, I like kind of censored my
yap because I don't know how would this be perceived
(00:29):
or how is he going to take it? Like, Oh,
you're supposed to be in a happy relationship, but you're
talking about the struggles. Yeah, exactly how hard it is,
exactly X, Y and Z. And it's like I felt like, look,
he kind of like a fraud because I feel like
I had so much to say, but like at the
same time, I was censoring myself. He never said it,
but like I just knew if I would say something
(00:50):
wild or outlindish like I do now, like it would
be perceived the wrong way. You get me. Yeah, So
I felt like I definitely thrive more when I'm single
because I could just say what's on my mind.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
O la la loka mot is I'm diosa and I'm Mala.
We are the host of Loka Dora Radio, a radiophonic novella,
which is an extra way of saying a podcast. We
have a third host in the building with us today,
a third host on the podcast. Our first time ever
trying out this format. We're not doing an interview, We're
(01:23):
having a guest host. All right, guest host, Can you
introduce yourself? Can you say Hi? Hi, guys.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
My name is Victoria, but everyone calls me Vicky.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Our third Loka Dora Vicky. You might know her as
Vicky the Fit Chick, and some of you might know
her as your online homegirl, your friend in your head. Vicky,
you have been doing so much necessary life giving, not
only fitness advice but girl talk.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I've have been in a
big transition in my life, like the last couple, like
the last eight months, and my thing has just really
shifted to like giving like big sis advice. And I'm
here for it because one thing about me I love
to talk.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Yes, And that is one of the reasons we wanted
you to guest host today, because we're talking about the
power of girl talk, and this idea was inspired by
an event that we had at Nativo with gorrisa Eden
on this a past guest, and she shared her story
about her divorce. She went online, she hinted at it
and then came on the show and told us everything
(02:31):
that went down. And then we had an event and
listeners came out, her friends came out, and it got vulnerable.
People were sharing. It was emotional. People cried, We cried
like it was it's I'm sure you know this feeling
of knowing that you created this space where people feel
(02:53):
safe enough to be vulnerable, and like, how like you
can't take that for granted, right.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
No, I've been talking a lot. I went through a
really bad breakup about eight months ago and it was
just a very toxic relationship and I didn't, like I've
never really seen people talk about their toxic relationships or
breakups online and I just needed like an outlet. And
(03:19):
I didn't say too much about the actual relationship. I
said more of like how I felt and how I
felt crazy, and how just a lot of things, a
lot of variables, and I got so many I've still
obviously so many messages from women telling me thank you
for my vulnerability, thank you for talking about it that
they thought they were alone in this. I've actually inspired
(03:40):
them to leave their toxic relationship.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
And I'm just like.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Me, yeah, but I and honestly makes me feel so
happy when women choose themselves and you know, it's not
easy to put yourself first, but it's worth it absolutely,
And I.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Feel like sometime we were just talking about this before
we started recording. But we work so hard on the
curated content, but sometimes when it's just you facing the camera,
just telling your truth, granting, raving, crying, that's really what
people respond to, right, one thing about me.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I will cry on social but.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
You know what, You're a beautiful cryer, beautiful cri say
thank you.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Yes, remind me what's your sign?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I'm a cancer.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
My birthday is just passed.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Yeah okay, happy malak, thank you, yes, true to form cancers.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
And I was so emotional before my birthday. It has
to be the retrograde. But my content that I'm just
like talking like just genuinely like giving big sus advice,
no cuts, no nothing, that's what takes off. But I
think it's honestly what women want to hear. Like no
one wants everyone just wants the straight truth. Everyone wants
(04:53):
to know how to get past a certain situation or
what do I need to do? And I think that's
why and also just being vulnerable line because everything's just
so performative, and I think that's why it does so well.
Like people want to see real, raw, authentic content.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Yeah, this is what struck me, like because I watch
your videos and I'm in the comment section. Okay, I
am reading. I'm reading because I'm also I'm watching for me,
but I'm I'm reading, and I'm looking at how people
are sharing, and it's a lot of me too, me too,
Like you're giving your testimony, and then women are giving
their testimony. And at this event in that Fievil, like
(05:28):
women were just getting up on the mic and talking
about like I've been with this guy for this many years,
but I don't think he's my person, or I just
went through this divorce and this is how he left
or this is how I left, or I don't know
if I should end it. And it was almost like
one woman sharing her story like ignited this fire where
everyone else felt like, Okay, I can.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Do it too.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yeah, And that's what I think it is. I feel
like not so many people, not so many women talk
about everybody, oh, keep it hush, keep in private, don't
your business out there. And I'm just like, one, I
don't feel like that helps. And something that I've learned
from therapy, I don't feel like that helps you process
your grief or process your emotions. Yes, obviously journal, but
sometimes saying things out loud just make you feel better.
(06:13):
And you know me, I say my things out loud
on the internet, but it helps other women know that
they're not you know, yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
I mean, And then you add that layer of culture,
right like as Latina's we're like taught to like one
keep it inside or two like sweep it under the rug.
You can't let anybody know your business right like, it'll
get it done?
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Is so real?
Speaker 3 (06:38):
It rules man, that Yeah, it really does.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
And I'm just like, Okay, yeah, who cares they don't
pay my bills.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Yes, but it's a journey to get there, you know,
it really really is.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Because people ask me, how do you not care? How
do you not you know? And I'm just like, how.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Do you not care? I would love to know because
I'm a little shy to post on socials, even though
I have a podcast. I've been doing it forever another.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Socials is another.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
The thing is even on it.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
I've just I've always grown not like really not caring.
And I think this probably had a lot to do
with the way my mom raised me, like not caring
what anybody thinks, Like people are always gonna say something
about you. We're whatever it is. People that are miserable
will always have something negative to say about you. And
(07:25):
my mom always taught me that from like a young age,
because I always like, you know, like hole Latino household,
you're supposed to not talk back to the man and
not to My mom always told everybody don't know, I'm like,
I've been like this from like a very young age.
Like everybody would always try to go snitch me out
to my mom, like iky did this or did My
mom was like, well was she wrong? Did she lie?
(07:46):
Did no better? Like she put me in this awkward Well,
don't say anything that you don't want to repeat it
back in front of Viki.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Because.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I'm gonna let you all know that you're wrong, Like
I just, I genuinely have never I'm not scared. I
think that's what it is. I don't think I I'm
not scared of a consequence and not because it's bad,
but because, like I know that I'm not doing anything
intentional to hurt nobody. Like I'm just simply living my life.
And as long as it's not hurting anyone, or like
(08:13):
what I'm saying isn't affecting anyone, then I think I'm
in the in the right, you know, And if other
people have a problem with that, then that's your personal business,
not mine.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I love that, And I think, like in observing in
my own life, the women who technically did everything right, worked,
raised children, dedicated wives, you know, went to church, people
still talk shit about them. Right, they did everything right,
But I'm hearing the weaedy, weedy, I'm hearing the negativity.
(08:46):
I'm hearing the trash talk. You cannot escape.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
It can't. And it's always going to be someone that
either wants to do what you're doing or is simply
not happy within their own life. Like I've never had
anybody critique me that's doing better than me.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Okay, say, yeah, that's gospel, right, that's gospel testimony. Yes,
absolutely so Okay, So how do we then, how do
we then like take back our power and say fuck
it and decide what to share and what not to share.
(09:22):
Even with all of that said, even with all of this,
even understanding people are gonna talk shit no matter what,
and it's our truth and we are inspiring others, Like
what do we decide to hold back on.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I think it's more of like what you're comfortable to
put out there, because it did take me a while
to be like, is this too much? Am I saying?
Like is this rude? Or it's like okay, if I
know again, like if I'm just speaking my own truth
and it's something that it was my own personal experience
(09:53):
that is not hurting anyone, am I hurting it hurts you,
then you got some work to do on yourself. But
I just feel like, whatever is your own personal experience,
and if that's something that you're comfortable with sharing, knowing
that the Internet is a crazy place and then people
will say whatever is on their mind or their opinions,
that's also something that you have to be like aware of,
(10:14):
Like people are always again, people are always going to
say something, so you have to be comfortable with this
is what the comment section or this is what people
might say. So again, it's just I think whatever you're
personally okay with putting out there.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
I don't think there's too much, right, it's like very
it's very subjectivetive. How do you decide aside, like how
how far are you're going to go? How much you're
going to share?
Speaker 3 (10:38):
I don't know that's a good question because I feel
like I've been sharing like less and less, like over.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
The years, more private, more private.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Yeah, I wish I was private, you know, but then.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Like we've been talking for talking.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Yeah, we've been I mean we've I think on the podcast,
I was not afraid to share really anything. Yeah, but
there's something about socials that I'm have not it's conquered.
I haven't mastered that like that maybe like fear of rejection,
fear of being perceived. But there's something about being on
the mic. Before there was video, it was just the mics.
(11:12):
You didn't have to worry about what you looked like.
That just made me so comfortable. And then I could
share my story. I could share like a breakup that
I went through. I could share something that my mom
did or something that happened to me, and I didn't
there was still that like that wall or like that barrier,
like the listener's not going to be in like the
comment section and the way they are on socials and
(11:33):
socials you know, as you know, like the algorithm can
send it anywhere sometimes and on a podcast like you
have to subscribe, you have to intentionally go find this.
So there's something about that. Well, that's what it is.
But for me, it's that difference of interaction and engagement
that makes me feel more comfortable on the pod to share.
But for socials, I think Mal and I have both
(11:54):
like pulled back on sharing like relationships and like that
sort of yeah, part of our lives, right.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I would agree, Well, I was, I was like not
in a relationship until very recently. It's been like only
like two years now less than two years, and so
like before, there was not much to report. And we
recently had an interaction with a listener at the Ford.
We went to a screening of zoot Suit, and she
told us, like, I miss when you guys just talked
(12:23):
about your personal lives.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
It's because it feels relatable, Like it feels like, yes,
people are nosy and like everyone's to cheese muscle, Like
I'm like my little broadcast channel on Instagram is called
less She's mossos, Like everyone wants to know, they want
to feel.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Like they know you. Yeah, they want to build that
relationship with you. And I think that's more of a
sense what it is. Yes, people are choose muscles, but
I think it's like how they feel connected to what
you put out or whatever project that you do. You
get me, So I think that's.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
What it is, the parasocial relationship.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Yeah, you have you had any like experiences with people
feeling like they know you more than they actually know you?
Because I think that we've had that too, right, Like
how has that shown up for you? Because that's difficult
to navigate with people. You want to know what.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
I don't mind it, Okay, I don't mind it. I
don't know if it's like the sage in me, but
like I don't like, I don't mind it. Like I
feel like I've created like this really great community with
these women. And again, like I do put a lot
of like my business, there's some things that I obviously yes,
do keep to myself, but they know like about what
I've let them know about my old relationship and like
(13:34):
my family dynamic and stuff like that, you know, but
I think it's relatable to them so that when they
see me in person, they already feel like they know me,
and I always make someone feel like extremely welcomed, Like
I have these Saturday classes every week and a lot
(13:54):
of girls will come from like different cities. Like some
girl told me the other day she drove like four
hours and I don't know what. And I'm like, I
appreciate that you get me. So it's like, I it
doesn't weird me out when people have like a parent,
like have a parasol. I genuinely like it.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Yeah, it doesn't bother me that much either. I think
in the beginning it surprised me. Yeah, you know, and
this was even before we had the term parasocial. But sometimes,
you know, listeners would like quote me to me and
I'm like, oh, did I say that? And it was
more that that like kind of scared me. I was like,
oh my god, I don't even remember saying that, and
like here someone is remembering it. And like sometimes you
(14:30):
just say throwaway things, you know, and sometimes of course
you say things with lots of intention. But that kind
of freaked me out. And maybe that's where my block
is for social Like I want to like be like
very intentional about it. Yeah, Like, but sometimes the thing
that you just like hit record and say exact.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Exactly, going back to like the same thing with the content. Yeah,
that's what works. Like I think it's like more of
the we want to be polished and put together and
say everything correctly, but when we don't, that's what people
like the most. They want relatability, they want real people,
real thoughts, real advice.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
We also came up on the days of Twitter where
there were like crazy Twitter takedowns of like people we knew,
and I think that also affected me, like how much
do I put out there? And I don't want to
say the wrong thing?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Oh man, cancel culture is crazy. It really is.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
What is your what is your take? Just cancel culture
exists today? And is it even a thing today?
Speaker 3 (15:30):
I didn't think it was ever a thing, Like it's
y'all say that y'all cancel people, but then I still
see them thriving, like oh nokay, like don't go anywhere
locomotives right back, users have specials.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
You're still like y'all, y'all really not canceling nobody. And
I feel like, again I've always have said my mind
and like my take, and I'm like, what are you
going to cancel me on I say things how I
see them. You get me like not out here saying like,
you know, hurtful things to like actual people, but like
it's like.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Yeah, yeah, if okay, is there maybe not one specific person,
but maybe like a type of creator or content that
you would love to see canceled. You actually love to
see this category canceled?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
My god. Take away Mike's from men, yes, just.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
In general in general. Just one, I don't.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Think they should have a podcast, and two I don't
think they should have a mic. I don't I don't
like men with mics, Like y'all, it's not doing any
like stop.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
I agree with you.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Have you seen that post where it's like, okay, there's
a male loneliness epidemic, But why do they all have podcasts?
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Like you know what, You're right?
Speaker 2 (16:50):
And if I don't gather with each other instead, men
suffer in silence. And why do we keep hearing about
it enough so loud? Why are you about it?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
There's nothing silent about this.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Go go work at nine to five and leave the
mic alone.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Please go build a bridge, Go build a house, build
a home, build a bridge. Y'all want us in the kitchen,
go build a house, build something.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Okay, I want the trad wife like content that would
be I love that one got to go. Not that.
Not that there's wrong with choosing like to be a
stay at home mom. It's not that, But it's the
it's the romantization romanticization. It's the romanticization of trad wifery,
(17:34):
of like going back to the nineteen fifties, of not
having rights, not having your own bank account, Like, is
that really what you want? You want to go back
to those Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
I saw someone say, if that's what you want as
a tidwife, put the phone down to have your husband
make your decisions and get offline. And I heartily agree,
like stop.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Yeah, But then.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
There are women who are like, I don't need to vote,
Like if my husband, my spouse, like is the one
to vote for our family.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
I'm okay with that, and get off your internet.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Actually okay, yeah, it's very handmade.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Say it's so, it's scary. It's scary the time that
we currently live in. And it's also like I've seen
the I don't know if you guys this has come
up on your tiktoks. I'm nineteen years old, no degree,
I just got married to a man ten years older
than me. I love it here and da da da da,
and I'm just like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
I'm scared for her.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
You're scared for you because ten years from now, five
years from now, you're not gonna have a cent to
your name, no, no credit, no nothing to fall back on.
And it's like, oh, you're saying this out of spider,
you're saying this because you're not happy in a relationship. No,
we're genuinely scared for you that you won't have anything
to your name. Actually, please maybe just stay on TikTok
(18:43):
so you can get some money from that, right, because
you've seen.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
It before, Like it's not like we're inventing a tale,
Like we've actually seen our grandmother stay in relationships because
they couldn't get out of them because they didn't have
any access to resources. Like we're not inventing this is
not a like worst case scenario, Like it's actually no,
actually we.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Saw it being in a Latino household. We saw it firsthand.
Our moms, our grandma's ARETHEA staying in relationships that didn't
make them fulfilled. And then how badly would everybody talk
about the THEA that was single, but she looked like
she was the one that was thriving. Yes, they always
made her seem like the crazy cat lady.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yeah, yes, and no matter what, Like I mean, the
women are working, honey, they're working. They're working really hard,
harder than the men. Yes, the women are like the breadwinners. Yep,
they're like raising the children. They're also also what's interesting
to me is there seems to be this idea that like,
(19:41):
to be a traditional wife, you're making food at home
and taking care of kids, but you're not working, or
is what I've seen are women who are working and
making food and taking care of kids, like they're doing
traditional wife things while also still working and having careers.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Yes, to be clear, we know like that raising children,
tending a home that is one thousand percent labor, unpaid
and paid. Like, to be clear, it is not to
say like you're not doing any work.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
No, you're you're actually working way more than anyone else
that I know.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
You should be paid like handsomely for it.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Yes, there's this belief that it's it's the it's the
soft life, when there's nothing soft about.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
About raising children. No, No, there's nothing self about raising
children and It's like I hate when people downplate like
the stay at home wife, because she's going through it.
She's going through it and she doesn't have less. Sometimes
they don't have a nanny, there's no support, there's three
kids and all of that, and like, if that's the
life you chose, and that's you know, we support it,
(20:47):
we love it, we appreciate it. I just always tell women,
if that is the life that you live, please somehow
some way, have a backup, have a side, hustle, have something,
have a savings because at the end of the day,
is always gonna choose himself whether he has kids or not,
and he's gonna leave you with the kids and no money.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Yeah, there's a song but that has been like really
popular recently on TikTok. You guys have seen the Young
Hose Run Free.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Yeah, so that is pulled.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
From a song. It's a disco classic called Young Hearts
Run Free. Caddie Yeah, Candy Candy Statin, Caddy Stanton, Candy Stanton,
And it's a disco classic. But if you listen to
the lyrics, what's the sense in sharing this one and
only life like only to end up being another lost
(21:42):
and lonely life. You'll look back at the years and
they will all be filled with tears. And it's a
disco fucking classic. It makes your heart saying when you
hear it, but when you listen to the lyrics, she's
talking about her hyper abusive marriage and you know, you know,
you'll have the babies, but you won't have your man.
He'll be out there loving every woman that he can. Oh,
(22:05):
young hearts, run free and then get it young home. Yeah,
don't get caught up like my man and me. Don't
be like me.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
That's poetry.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
It is poetry, true poetry. It is poetry set to
dance music, which reminds me a lot of salsa. It
reminds me of a lot of salsa classics that are
speaking of tragic, tragic, tragic things. But you're dancing away
to it like.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Yeah, I love her and uh yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
So it's this reminder, like she's like, take it from me, honey,
I did the husband and the kids, and he mistreated
me and I stuck through it, and uh my years
have been filled with to you this. You know, run free,
please me, you do you please leave.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Leave, leave, choose you because again, like I empathize a
lot with women that have stayed that have been put
through the ringer because I stayed and I was put
through the ringer, but I stayed choice just like a
lot of other women. And I think you really don't
get it until you're in it. So you can tell
(23:09):
someone to leave, like so many times, and it's just
one day on a random Tuesday, it'll just click to you, like, hey,
I'm not supposed to be in this relationship. You get
me this. It's either I'm gonna run free or I'm
going to continue this toxic cycle.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the sometimes it's this wild choice
of no choice, you know. And a woman who has
had children with somebody who has been married, who owns businesses, whatever,
it is like the lives have been intertwined. Do you
stick it out and do you say, like, well, what's
(23:43):
better than this?
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Or do you try and find the better? Like do
you rebuild? I mean, there's just yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
And I think that's also another thing. I think women
think that it doesn't get better than that, and then
they won't find somebody else to love them and they'll
die alone and you know, all the you know what ifs,
But it does get better because at the end of
the day, you have yourself, Like, yeah, sure it does
get lonely, but like you'll have yourself, you'll have your peace,
(24:12):
you'll have your happiness, and of course you'll think about
you know, your brain is wired to think about like
only the good that happened in the relationship. But what's
what's better than your piece?
Speaker 1 (24:21):
It's true. I was single for seven years. I love
I loved it too. I loved it too, and it
was very much by choice.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Because I'm like you, there were quarters, but I was
I wanted to so badly to be alone, and like
I dated and whatever, but I didn't want to be
committed to anyone.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
And I don't remember the artist, but there was another
lyric that I used to quote to myself all the time. Yeah,
I'm not lonely, I'm just alone.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Yes, yeah, I love that. You know, everyone always thinks, oh,
she's she she can't get someone, She's No, I'm literally
single because I want to be single.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
I'm making a choice.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
I like, I'm sorry you guys don't have the option, man,
but we're making the choice to be by yourselves.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
I mean, you can be in a relationship and be lonely. Hello,
you can't have your emotional needs not met, You can
have expectations not met. Right, there's so much loneliness that
can happen in a relationship, in a romantic relationship, you
know at that. And so is it better to than
be alone?
Speaker 2 (25:23):
I think so absolutely? I think so.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
The we're during the enduring The enduring message that I'm
hearing is that to be happy alone, to be happy partnered,
you have to be happy with yourself. You're the only
one that goes with you.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
Yeah, your happiness can be dependent on the person you're
with and vice versa, Like they cannot be dependent on
you to make them happy. You know, you want the
relationship to have happiness, of course, but it can't solely
be dependent on the relationship. Your happiness cannot solely be
dependent on the relationship.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Yeah, And you think about it, like, if you meet
a truly if you are truly miserable, what on the
earth in God's green earth can lift your mood? It's
like really not possible. No, you know, and if you
when you meet another person and you can tell this
person is truly miserable because you know it when you
see it on a person, like this person is sad,
(26:18):
This person is miserable. You also know that you can't
help that, you can't lift that.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
It really is like it's only bring you down to.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Yes, it's you have to an individual must claw themselves
out of it. Yeah, and you can add to it,
and someone can add to you, but they can't like
build the entire foundation.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Yep. And they shouldn't be your whole world either.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
Yeah. How do you navigate like being in relationships and
not making the person your whole world.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
That's something I haven't done yet. Okay, So I went
from what which is why I'm choosing to be alone? Now?
I went from like a nine year relationship to a
five year relationship, so like there was only like a
couple like maybe like a year or like six months
in between. But like it's not like I was really
truly alone because I still had my ex was still
(27:11):
around and this was years ago, like maybe like seven
years ago, and then you know other but like I
would talk to and like stuffisode I wasn't really alone
and I never knew how to really be alone until now.
And my first boyfriend, my first long term boyfriend, kind
of made him like again like the center of my
whole world. And then I said, oh, I'm not going
(27:32):
to do that in this relationship, and I failed miserably,
and I did that again, and I made him the
center of my whole world. And somehow, some way I
stopped along the way like hanging out with friends and
doing girls nights and like checking it out my girls
and like stuff like that. Like I turned into somebody
that I didn't that I would not be friends with.
Now you get me, like I would not. No, no,
(27:54):
So it's taken me a lot, I think, to get
to the point where I'm at, like truly being happy
with myself. I've been in therapy continuously for I've been
on and off in therapy since twenty twenty, but now
since for about a year and a half fully like
every week or every other week, And I feel like
that's honestly helped me one find out like who I
(28:14):
am too, like being okay with being by myself at
all times and truly just finding out who I am
and like how to pour back into myself and knowing
that when the time comes again, because eventually it will,
not to make somebody else my whole entire world, and
to have a life outside of my relationship.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
Yeah, when you were going through that, did you ever
have like a homegirl? Be like, girl, we haven't seen you,
like you're always with your man.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
People just stopped. Like I picked up on it, like
people just stop reaching out. You get me, and like
you kind of like clock in. It's like, well, that's
that's on me. Yeah, Like so you just kind of
realize who like stops checking in because to be fairy,
I stop checking in. So obviously it doesn't feel great
when done to you, but like it's like, babe, you
(29:01):
did it first. So yeah, yeah, I know, man, I'm
telling y'all.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
No, it's it's it's it's a real thing. I mean
I think about like even myself and it's so new
for me and wanting to pour so much into it,
but then like remembering everything that I know about, like
the things we're talking about here today, and like there's.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Also nothing wrong with that, Like you want to, like
your relationship is new, it's fresh, Like you want to
show that person that you know, that you love them,
that you want to spend time with them and all
of that. And I do feel like obviously as the
years passed by, you know, it'll you know, be less
and less. Yeah, but when it's new and it's fresh,
like you do want you want that stage again. You're
(29:45):
not gonna have that stage forever, so I would dive in.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
It's it's true, And I think about I think about
my mom and I didn't realize this until I was older.
So my mom is a professional dancer. My mom is
a flamanco dancer. Yes, I love. If you've ever been
to Elsid on Sunset, it's a Spanish restaurant. It's like
a flamenco supper club. So they do like night clubs
and like DJ nights and like comedy shows now, but
(30:11):
back in the day, it was like every night was
live Flamenco and it's like dinner and a show. And
so my whole life up until I was a teenager,
my mom would like work, work during the day, or
take care of us during the day and then go
perform like four nights a week, and else.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
Said don't go anywhere, looks we'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
And growing up that was like a very normal thing.
You know. She has her armed bag and her folicies
and her sleep back butt and her polka dots and
like her stage makeup four nights a week. But I
think about it.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Now.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
I don't know any other person whose mother was performing
on stage four nights, four out of seven, that's the
majority of nights of the week. And then I think
about my dad and like what that means for a
married couple raising three kids, Like mom is working like
most nights. And I am so grateful to her for
(31:10):
that example and to my parents for that example, because
and they're still married and two parent household and the
three kids and the whole thing.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
You're blessed.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
I'm very blessed. And it's this example of like a
like a woman who's an artist saying like this is
my art, this is my family. They will coexist absolutely,
God damn it.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Yeah, the last thing I do. I love that for
her because she didn't have to give up something that
she truly loved.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
And now Dad supported it exactly, He supported it.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
That's rare.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
It's very rare. And then I think about what kind
of a husband that takes, because I think about most
men and like, are they going to give their blessing?
Like yes, go go dance on stage in Hollywood four
nights a week, Go to it, go kill it, go
get them. And so that's a special man is way
really is a very strong, secure, special man. Yeah, and
(32:06):
it's it's just such a testament to me to like
finding the right fit. Yeah, you know who encourages you
and loves you and supports you because you.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Had a really good example. Yeah, you had a really
good example of it.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Yeah. Yeah. And and so like in my own in
my own relationship, also thinking about like how like the
art that I'm making is also art that like is
not only fulfilling to me, but is also nourishing like
to the relationship. Yeah, and doesn't like do damage to
the relationship because I think that there's also like there's
(32:44):
a give and take there, right, and like what we do,
like we want like I want the support, but I
also want to make sure that like everyone can be
proud of me. Yeah, and that's a balancing act as well.
So I don't know, like in your own work and
in your own relationships, like have you ever had that
like tug of war about like the content or like
(33:06):
the type of work.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
I feel like I without him saying it, in my
last relationship, I feel like I made myself a little
censored like I would say things online. But like again,
like I've I've always been a yappy person. But I
think while I was in my relationship, I like kind
of censored my yap because I don't know how would
(33:30):
this be perceived or how is he going to take it? Like, Oh,
you're supposed to be in a happy relationship, but you're
talking about the struggle. Yeah, exactly, exactly, X, Y and Z.
And it's like I feel like, look, he kind of
like a fraud because I feel like I had so
much to say, but like at the same time, I
was censoring myself. He never said it, but like I
(33:51):
just knew if I would say something wild or outlandish
like I do now, like it would be perceived the
wrong way, you get me.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
So I felt like I definitely I thrive more when
I'm single because I could just say what's on my mind,
right and there's no repercussions or consequence because it's not
hurting another party, you get me.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Yeah. USI you've been navigating this for some time now
of having the show and the public art and your relationship,
your marriage, and I guess like, how do you, like,
how do you balance it all?
Speaker 3 (34:29):
Well, I'm not going to rehash this story because then
it will now live again, because then it will rehash it,
retell it even though I'm trying to not tell it.
So I'll just to give you the gist. VICKI so
back in the day. So when then I started dating,
I already had the podcast and he knew what it
was about. He was, you know, happening with or without you,
(34:50):
so you know, you get with it or you don't.
And he got with it. And I shared a story
one time about so physicality of his right and you know,
did not expect that co workers would listen, and so
he was actually like such a good sport about it.
(35:13):
He was like, hey, so you know so and so
I caught them in the elevator and they told me
they listened to this last episode and he said, you know,
they say some wild things, and he goes, I knew
exactly what he was referring to, and he didn't say like,
don't say that, like how dare you? This is embarrassing
(35:33):
and there was nothing like that, but to me, it signaled, oh, well,
I don't want his coworkers to hear like stories about
him from me when he's in the workplace. And so
it just taught me like, well, you never know who's listening.
So like I can share about myself and the relationship,
but if it's like some things that are a little
(35:53):
too personal for him, like that's not mine to share.
So it's been that balancing act as well of like
knowing what's too much, knowing what's enough. He was cool
with it, and it was it became a joke, you know,
but yeah, you like also don't want to embarrass that.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Yeah, yeah, And I think that's what it is like
just being aware of, you know, the person you're in
a relationship with, which which is horrid when you have
a lot.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
To say yes so much, to say much, to talk
so much to share yes, yes, yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
And then one thing early on that did come up
in the relationship was he had like an issue with
because we would talk about like ho like ho as
politic and it's like a way of like carrying yourself
and it's just a sex positive way of like viewing
female sexuality dating. And we would talk about that a
(36:53):
lot throughout the early in the early days, and he
was kind of like I get it, but like I
don't want you call yourself a hoe, like my sister
follows you and I was like, ho is politics? What
do you mean?
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (37:05):
You know, and so it was one of those like
compromising like I'm not changing my politics and my values.
I also get what you're saying, so like, how do
then I compromise on that? You know? But it's like
in the early days you have to like set like
what is going to work because if not, like someone
can just bulldoze over your life, make you change like
(37:27):
who you are and maybe you're okay with it, maybe
you're not. And but in the beginning, I feel like
that's when the tests happen of like how much can
I push how much can I push for you to change?
How much can I push for you to like do
things the way I want to do it? And you know,
I think it's it is a give and take of
like how much are you like absolutely not and how
much of it is like yeah, actually I'm okay with that. Yeah,
(37:48):
And it's so subjective, it's personal.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
It is because I call myself a b I thl
the time. I don't know if I could say that we.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
Love oh period, are we are?
Speaker 3 (37:56):
Bitch?
Speaker 1 (37:57):
I love this podcast? Keep bitch, we keep forever.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
So I'm like I've always called myself like a bitch,
and I'm just like, but I don't think a bitch
is like a bad word, and like I genuinely don't like.
I think it's someone like an assertive female that knows
what she wants. Yes, so that's how I take it.
You get me.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
So it has been reclaimed. Yeah, completely.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
So I always tell my girls, I'm like, if I
call you a bitch, is like it's out of love.
If I call you sweetie, we must have a problem.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
We have a big problem money.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
I don't like you, so you know. So yeah, so
I'm just like I get what you mean with like
oh and all of that, because I'm like, yes, I'm
a hoe.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Yes yeah, I mean this is why, like all of
our favorite songs, yeah bitch yeah yeah, yes, literally anthems
the two.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
Biggest vocabulary words in my lane, which bitch.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
And how yeah bitch yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
It's like equivalent now to like girl, like honestly, yeah, yeah,
hey girl, hey bitch, hey ho wow easy, It's easy.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
I love it. I love this for us.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
It's universal and it's kind of nder neutral. Okay, yes, yeah, yes,
it's just great. It's not it's not for everyone, but
it's not supposed to be. It's not for you.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
You don't exactly for us.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Yes, it's love.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
It's a term of endearment.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Yes, I love that.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Wow, this has been so fulfilling. Yeah, what a great conversation.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
I love this.
Speaker 3 (39:18):
Yeah. Before we end, I do want to plug the
fact that we were talking about girl talk today, but
we have been talking about on this podcast girl talk
as a form of ethical cheese men.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (39:32):
We coined that term with his back in the day,
episode ten, and we've been cited as like the originators
of ethical cheesement. And so we are talking about girl
talk today and we are talking about sharing and the
vulnerability and how that can be life saving. But we
also call it ethical cheese me.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Yes, I love that term as latinas you know, like
cheese met is so important.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
I feel like it really just releases everything, like you
just need a good cheese men with your homegirls, and
like you just feel so much better, like my day
it's just going to be so much lighter.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Now, and the excitement when dingle cheese man.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Yeah tell me now, Yes, I cannot win for later.
I'm sad to telling me.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Yes, send me a voice.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
From the evening news, you know, like.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Yeah, oh girl, that's all I got voice memos and
then I'll be like two minutes in, let me send
you another one because it's sitting too long. Yeah that
makes a difference.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Yeah, Like okay, so right, there's just so much to share.
And I think what we talked about on that Ethical
Cheese Me episode is how in a lot of instances,
mohets are sharing cheese men as a form of safety.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Yeah, you know, like, Okay.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
Don't mess with this person because I heard this about
this person and this is dangerous, this is bad for
your health. It's vital information, file information, or I heard
about this thing over here, Like go get in line,
go sign up, you know, go register, like you're going
to get this thing. It's resources. Yes, like this is
(41:08):
how we share information. Yeah, and it's like really like
it's this network. And what we talked about in the
episode was like the difference between being a cheese massa
and a Methicha.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
Yes, there you go.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
Yeah, like if you're Metthicha.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
You're like listening, listening in you're another people's business.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
Yes, and you're sharing it with like malicious yes.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Yes, she's Masa is just giving out vito information and resources.
Speaker 3 (41:35):
Yeah, and the only reason it's been framed as this
like negative thing is because it's been gendered, right, It's
seen as like, oh, women do it, so it is
the cheese made, the.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
Gossip, gossil love to go they do, please, Yes they do.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
But it's been gendered yeah, it's just yeah, it's been
gendered as like women do it, so it's not important,
it's frivolous. It's yeah, you shouldn't. It's yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
But at one point it started as like resource sharing.
It was actually part of like labor organizing dated us
far back to like the fifteen sixteen hundreds, which I
think is intense, which is wild, which is like we
need girl talk, we need gossip, we need ethical cheese, meath.
We do.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
It's a whisper network.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
Yes, yes, it is.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
In the kitchen like in hush tones.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Yes, it's intelligence, yes exactly.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
Yeah. And it also releases endorphins.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
Yes it does.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
It's good.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
I feel like it really does.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
It really does, because think about like when you come
back from like a long dinner with a friend.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
You're like, oh my god, I just feel so much better.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
Yes, it's like, wow, there are no problems in the world.
Life feels so good. My homegirl and I are so
like in love and like everything is perfect. Yes, because
those endorphins were released with that sharing.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
Absolutely yeah, wow, good for us, Good for us.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
I love that. Thank you so much, Vicky for joining
us as a host today. Thank you guys for having
you med. We know you're also working on something special,
something new. Tell us about it before we sign off.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
So not to give too much. But I also pretty
soon will be having my own little show. It might
be coming in August, might be coming in September. We
have to finalize a couple of the details. But I'm very,
very excited to just yep away.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
Yeah, something to look forward to, something to follow and share. Yeah,
so excited.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
And I'm sure everyone's already following Vicky. But if you're
late to the party, where's Vicky? Where can they follow you?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
It's at Victoria Losa. But it's vic dot Victoria Losa.
Victoria Losa was taken. It's like, who else has my name?
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Why would you do that?
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Can we?
Speaker 1 (43:43):
Sorry?
Speaker 3 (43:43):
Before I need to know why did we retire Vicky
to fitch it?
Speaker 1 (43:46):
You want to know what?
Speaker 2 (43:47):
I just felt like I have more to offer than
just fitness. Yes, and yes, fitness got me started, and
it's given me the platform that I have today. But
I want to do more live style. I want to
give out the advice. I want to do the makeup,
I want to wear the clothes and I don't want
It's not like Vicky the Fitchick was stopping me from
getting opportunities. But I feel like I also had that
(44:09):
name for ten years. I feel like I'm like, Okay,
I just turned thirty six, It's time to grow up.
No more nicknames. Let's just you know, my name is
Victoria Losa and people call me Vicky and yeah, a
lot of people know me as Vicky the Fitchick, but
it's just Victoria Losa.
Speaker 3 (44:24):
No. Yeah, a new season. I love that.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Yeah, a new season in my life.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
A lot of things had to go and a lot
of new things came and I'm.
Speaker 3 (44:32):
Just grateful, amazing, killing it, amazing. Thank you guys, well,
thank you so much for listening to another Capito Lokata Radio.
We'll catch you next time, besitos, Bye Loka lo
In your own work and in your own relationships, Like
have you ever had that like tug of war about
like the content or like the type of.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Work without him saying it. In my last relationship, I
feel like I made myself a little censored, like I
would say things online. But like again, like i've I've
always been a yappy person, but I think while I
was in my relationship, I like kind of censored my
yap because I don't know how would this be perceived
(00:29):
or how is he going to take it? Like, Oh,
you're supposed to be in a happy relationship, but you're
talking about the struggles. Yeah, exactly how hard it is,
exactly X, Y and Z. And it's like I felt like, look,
he kind of like a fraud because I feel like
I had so much to say, but like at the
same time, I was censoring myself. He never said it,
but like I just knew if I would say something
(00:50):
wild or outlindish like I do now, like it would
be perceived the wrong way. You get me. Yeah, So
I felt like I definitely thrive more when I'm single
because I could just say what's on my mind.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
O la la loka mot is I'm diosa and I'm Mala.
We are the host of Loka Dora Radio, a radiophonic novella,
which is an extra way of saying a podcast. We
have a third host in the building with us today,
a third host on the podcast. Our first time ever
trying out this format. We're not doing an interview, We're
(01:23):
having a guest host. All right, guest host, Can you
introduce yourself? Can you say Hi? Hi, guys.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
My name is Victoria, but everyone calls me Vicky.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Our third Loka Dora Vicky. You might know her as
Vicky the Fit Chick, and some of you might know
her as your online homegirl, your friend in your head. Vicky,
you have been doing so much necessary life giving, not
only fitness advice but girl talk.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I've have been in a
big transition in my life, like the last couple, like
the last eight months, and my thing has just really
shifted to like giving like big sis advice. And I'm
here for it because one thing about me I love
to talk.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Yes, And that is one of the reasons we wanted
you to guest host today, because we're talking about the
power of girl talk, and this idea was inspired by
an event that we had at Nativo with gorrisa Eden
on this a past guest, and she shared her story
about her divorce. She went online, she hinted at it
and then came on the show and told us everything
(02:31):
that went down. And then we had an event and
listeners came out, her friends came out, and it got vulnerable.
People were sharing. It was emotional. People cried, We cried
like it was it's I'm sure you know this feeling
of knowing that you created this space where people feel
(02:53):
safe enough to be vulnerable, and like, how like you
can't take that for granted, right.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
No, I've been talking a lot. I went through a
really bad breakup about eight months ago and it was
just a very toxic relationship and I didn't, like I've
never really seen people talk about their toxic relationships or
breakups online and I just needed like an outlet. And
(03:19):
I didn't say too much about the actual relationship. I
said more of like how I felt and how I
felt crazy, and how just a lot of things, a
lot of variables, and I got so many I've still
obviously so many messages from women telling me thank you
for my vulnerability, thank you for talking about it that
they thought they were alone in this. I've actually inspired
(03:40):
them to leave their toxic relationship.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
And I'm just like.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Me, yeah, but I and honestly makes me feel so
happy when women choose themselves and you know, it's not
easy to put yourself first, but it's worth it absolutely,
And I.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Feel like sometime we were just talking about this before
we started recording. But we work so hard on the
curated content, but sometimes when it's just you facing the camera,
just telling your truth, granting, raving, crying, that's really what
people respond to, right, one thing about me.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I will cry on social but.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
You know what, You're a beautiful cryer, beautiful cri say
thank you.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Yes, remind me what's your sign?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I'm a cancer.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
My birthday is just passed.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Yeah okay, happy malak, thank you, yes, true to form cancers.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
And I was so emotional before my birthday. It has
to be the retrograde. But my content that I'm just
like talking like just genuinely like giving big sus advice,
no cuts, no nothing, that's what takes off. But I
think it's honestly what women want to hear. Like no
one wants everyone just wants the straight truth. Everyone wants
(04:53):
to know how to get past a certain situation or
what do I need to do? And I think that's
why and also just being vulnerable line because everything's just
so performative, and I think that's why it does so well.
Like people want to see real, raw, authentic content.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Yeah, this is what struck me, like because I watch
your videos and I'm in the comment section. Okay, I
am reading. I'm reading because I'm also I'm watching for me,
but I'm I'm reading, and I'm looking at how people
are sharing, and it's a lot of me too, me too,
Like you're giving your testimony, and then women are giving
their testimony. And at this event in that Fievil, like
(05:28):
women were just getting up on the mic and talking
about like I've been with this guy for this many years,
but I don't think he's my person, or I just
went through this divorce and this is how he left
or this is how I left, or I don't know
if I should end it. And it was almost like
one woman sharing her story like ignited this fire where
everyone else felt like, Okay, I can.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Do it too.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yeah, And that's what I think it is. I feel
like not so many people, not so many women talk
about everybody, oh, keep it hush, keep in private, don't
your business out there. And I'm just like, one, I
don't feel like that helps. And something that I've learned
from therapy, I don't feel like that helps you process
your grief or process your emotions. Yes, obviously journal, but
sometimes saying things out loud just make you feel better.
(06:13):
And you know me, I say my things out loud
on the internet, but it helps other women know that
they're not you know, yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
I mean, And then you add that layer of culture,
right like as Latina's we're like taught to like one
keep it inside or two like sweep it under the rug.
You can't let anybody know your business right like, it'll
get it done?
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Is so real?
Speaker 3 (06:38):
It rules man, that Yeah, it really does.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
And I'm just like, Okay, yeah, who cares they don't
pay my bills.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Yes, but it's a journey to get there, you know,
it really really is.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Because people ask me, how do you not care? How
do you not you know? And I'm just like, how.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Do you not care? I would love to know because
I'm a little shy to post on socials, even though
I have a podcast. I've been doing it forever another.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Socials is another.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
The thing is even on it.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
I've just I've always grown not like really not caring.
And I think this probably had a lot to do
with the way my mom raised me, like not caring
what anybody thinks, Like people are always gonna say something
about you. We're whatever it is. People that are miserable
will always have something negative to say about you. And
(07:25):
my mom always taught me that from like a young age,
because I always like, you know, like hole Latino household,
you're supposed to not talk back to the man and
not to My mom always told everybody don't know, I'm like,
I've been like this from like a very young age.
Like everybody would always try to go snitch me out
to my mom, like iky did this or did My
mom was like, well was she wrong? Did she lie?
(07:46):
Did no better? Like she put me in this awkward Well,
don't say anything that you don't want to repeat it
back in front of Viki.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Because.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I'm gonna let you all know that you're wrong, Like
I just, I genuinely have never I'm not scared. I
think that's what it is. I don't think I I'm
not scared of a consequence and not because it's bad,
but because, like I know that I'm not doing anything
intentional to hurt nobody. Like I'm just simply living my life.
And as long as it's not hurting anyone, or like
(08:13):
what I'm saying isn't affecting anyone, then I think I'm
in the in the right, you know, And if other
people have a problem with that, then that's your personal business,
not mine.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I love that, And I think, like in observing in
my own life, the women who technically did everything right, worked,
raised children, dedicated wives, you know, went to church, people
still talk shit about them. Right, they did everything right,
But I'm hearing the weaedy, weedy, I'm hearing the negativity.
(08:46):
I'm hearing the trash talk. You cannot escape.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
It can't. And it's always going to be someone that
either wants to do what you're doing or is simply
not happy within their own life. Like I've never had
anybody critique me that's doing better than me.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Okay, say, yeah, that's gospel, right, that's gospel testimony. Yes,
absolutely so Okay, So how do we then, how do
we then like take back our power and say fuck
it and decide what to share and what not to share.
(09:22):
Even with all of that said, even with all of this,
even understanding people are gonna talk shit no matter what,
and it's our truth and we are inspiring others, Like
what do we decide to hold back on.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I think it's more of like what you're comfortable to
put out there, because it did take me a while
to be like, is this too much? Am I saying?
Like is this rude? Or it's like okay, if I
know again, like if I'm just speaking my own truth
and it's something that it was my own personal experience
(09:53):
that is not hurting anyone, am I hurting it hurts you,
then you got some work to do on yourself. But
I just feel like, whatever is your own personal experience,
and if that's something that you're comfortable with sharing, knowing
that the Internet is a crazy place and then people
will say whatever is on their mind or their opinions,
that's also something that you have to be like aware of,
(10:14):
Like people are always again, people are always going to
say something, so you have to be comfortable with this
is what the comment section or this is what people
might say. So again, it's just I think whatever you're
personally okay with putting out there.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
I don't think there's too much, right, it's like very
it's very subjectivetive. How do you decide aside, like how
how far are you're going to go? How much you're
going to share?
Speaker 3 (10:38):
I don't know that's a good question because I feel
like I've been sharing like less and less, like over.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
The years, more private, more private.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Yeah, I wish I was private, you know, but then.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Like we've been talking for talking.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Yeah, we've been I mean we've I think on the podcast,
I was not afraid to share really anything. Yeah, but
there's something about socials that I'm have not it's conquered.
I haven't mastered that like that maybe like fear of rejection,
fear of being perceived. But there's something about being on
the mic. Before there was video, it was just the mics.
(11:12):
You didn't have to worry about what you looked like.
That just made me so comfortable. And then I could
share my story. I could share like a breakup that
I went through. I could share something that my mom
did or something that happened to me, and I didn't
there was still that like that wall or like that barrier,
like the listener's not going to be in like the
comment section and the way they are on socials and
(11:33):
socials you know, as you know, like the algorithm can
send it anywhere sometimes and on a podcast like you
have to subscribe, you have to intentionally go find this.
So there's something about that. Well, that's what it is.
But for me, it's that difference of interaction and engagement
that makes me feel more comfortable on the pod to share.
But for socials, I think Mal and I have both
(11:54):
like pulled back on sharing like relationships and like that
sort of yeah, part of our lives, right.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I would agree, Well, I was, I was like not
in a relationship until very recently. It's been like only
like two years now less than two years, and so
like before, there was not much to report. And we
recently had an interaction with a listener at the Ford.
We went to a screening of zoot Suit, and she
told us, like, I miss when you guys just talked
(12:23):
about your personal lives.
Speaker 4 (12:25):
It's because it feels relatable, Like it feels like, yes,
people are nosy and like everyone's to cheese muscle, Like
I'm like my little broadcast channel on Instagram is called
less She's mossos, Like everyone wants to know, they want
to feel.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Like they know you. Yeah, they want to build that
relationship with you. And I think that's more of a
sense what it is. Yes, people are choose muscles, but
I think it's like how they feel connected to what
you put out or whatever project that you do. You
get me, So I think that's.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
What it is, the parasocial relationship.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Yeah, you have you had any like experiences with people
feeling like they know you more than they actually know you?
Because I think that we've had that too, right, Like
how has that shown up for you? Because that's difficult
to navigate with people. You want to know what.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
I don't mind it, Okay, I don't mind it. I
don't know if it's like the sage in me, but
like I don't like, I don't mind it. Like I
feel like I've created like this really great community with
these women. And again, like I do put a lot
of like my business, there's some things that I obviously yes,
do keep to myself, but they know like about what
I've let them know about my old relationship and like
(13:34):
my family dynamic and stuff like that, you know, but
I think it's relatable to them so that when they
see me in person, they already feel like they know me,
and I always make someone feel like extremely welcomed, Like
I have these Saturday classes every week and a lot
(13:54):
of girls will come from like different cities. Like some
girl told me the other day she drove like four
hours and I don't know what. And I'm like, I
appreciate that you get me. So it's like, I it
doesn't weird me out when people have like a parent,
like have a parasol. I genuinely like it.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Yeah, it doesn't bother me that much either. I think
in the beginning it surprised me. Yeah, you know, and
this was even before we had the term parasocial. But sometimes,
you know, listeners would like quote me to me and
I'm like, oh, did I say that? And it was
more that that like kind of scared me. I was like,
oh my god, I don't even remember saying that, and
like here someone is remembering it. And like sometimes you
(14:30):
just say throwaway things, you know, and sometimes of course
you say things with lots of intention. But that kind
of freaked me out. And maybe that's where my block
is for social Like I want to like be like
very intentional about it. Yeah, Like, but sometimes the thing
that you just like hit record and say exact.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Exactly, going back to like the same thing with the content. Yeah,
that's what works. Like I think it's like more of
the we want to be polished and put together and
say everything correctly, but when we don't, that's what people
like the most. They want relatability, they want real people,
real thoughts, real advice.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
We also came up on the days of Twitter where
there were like crazy Twitter takedowns of like people we knew,
and I think that also affected me, like how much
do I put out there? And I don't want to
say the wrong thing?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Oh man, cancel culture is crazy. It really is.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
What is your what is your take? Just cancel culture
exists today? And is it even a thing today?
Speaker 3 (15:30):
I didn't think it was ever a thing, Like it's
y'all say that y'all cancel people, but then I still
see them thriving, like oh nokay, like don't go anywhere
locomotives right back, users have specials.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
You're still like y'all, y'all really not canceling nobody. And
I feel like, again I've always have said my mind
and like my take, and I'm like, what are you
going to cancel me on I say things how I
see them. You get me like not out here saying like,
you know, hurtful things to like actual people, but like
it's like.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Yeah, yeah, if okay, is there maybe not one specific person,
but maybe like a type of creator or content that
you would love to see canceled. You actually love to
see this category canceled?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
My god. Take away Mike's from men, yes, just.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
In general in general. Just one, I don't.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Think they should have a podcast, and two I don't
think they should have a mic. I don't I don't
like men with mics, Like y'all, it's not doing any
like stop.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
I agree with you.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Have you seen that post where it's like, okay, there's
a male loneliness epidemic, But why do they all have podcasts?
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Like you know what, You're right?
Speaker 2 (16:50):
And if I don't gather with each other instead, men
suffer in silence. And why do we keep hearing about
it enough so loud? Why are you about it?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
There's nothing silent about this.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Go go work at nine to five and leave the
mic alone.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Please go build a bridge, Go build a house, build
a home, build a bridge. Y'all want us in the kitchen,
go build a house, build something.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Okay, I want the trad wife like content that would
be I love that one got to go. Not that.
Not that there's wrong with choosing like to be a
stay at home mom. It's not that, But it's the
it's the romantization romanticization. It's the romanticization of trad wifery,
(17:34):
of like going back to the nineteen fifties, of not
having rights, not having your own bank account, Like, is
that really what you want? You want to go back
to those Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
I saw someone say, if that's what you want as
a tidwife, put the phone down to have your husband
make your decisions and get offline. And I heartily agree,
like stop.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Yeah, But then.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
There are women who are like, I don't need to vote,
Like if my husband, my spouse, like is the one
to vote for our family.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
I'm okay with that, and get off your internet.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Actually okay, yeah, it's very handmade.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Say it's so, it's scary. It's scary the time that
we currently live in. And it's also like I've seen
the I don't know if you guys this has come
up on your tiktoks. I'm nineteen years old, no degree,
I just got married to a man ten years older
than me. I love it here and da da da da,
and I'm just like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
I'm scared for her.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
You're scared for you because ten years from now, five
years from now, you're not gonna have a cent to
your name, no, no credit, no nothing to fall back on.
And it's like, oh, you're saying this out of spider,
you're saying this because you're not happy in a relationship. No,
we're genuinely scared for you that you won't have anything
to your name. Actually, please maybe just stay on TikTok
(18:43):
so you can get some money from that, right, because
you've seen.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
It before, Like it's not like we're inventing a tale,
Like we've actually seen our grandmother stay in relationships because
they couldn't get out of them because they didn't have
any access to resources. Like we're not inventing this is
not a like worst case scenario, Like it's actually no,
actually we.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Saw it being in a Latino household. We saw it firsthand.
Our moms, our grandma's ARETHEA staying in relationships that didn't
make them fulfilled. And then how badly would everybody talk
about the THEA that was single, but she looked like
she was the one that was thriving. Yes, they always
made her seem like the crazy cat lady.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yeah, yes, and no matter what, Like I mean, the
women are working, honey, they're working. They're working really hard,
harder than the men. Yes, the women are like the breadwinners. Yep,
they're like raising the children. They're also also what's interesting
to me is there seems to be this idea that like,
(19:41):
to be a traditional wife, you're making food at home
and taking care of kids, but you're not working, or
is what I've seen are women who are working and
making food and taking care of kids, like they're doing
traditional wife things while also still working and having careers.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Yes, to be clear, we know like that raising children,
tending a home that is one thousand percent labor, unpaid
and paid. Like, to be clear, it is not to
say like you're not doing any work.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
No, you're you're actually working way more than anyone else
that I know.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
You should be paid like handsomely for it.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Yes, there's this belief that it's it's the it's the
soft life, when there's nothing soft about.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
About raising children. No, No, there's nothing self about raising
children and It's like I hate when people downplate like
the stay at home wife, because she's going through it.
She's going through it and she doesn't have less. Sometimes
they don't have a nanny, there's no support, there's three
kids and all of that, and like, if that's the
life you chose, and that's you know, we support it,
(20:47):
we love it, we appreciate it. I just always tell women,
if that is the life that you live, please somehow
some way, have a backup, have a side, hustle, have something,
have a savings because at the end of the day,
is always gonna choose himself whether he has kids or not,
and he's gonna leave you with the kids and no money.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Yeah, there's a song but that has been like really
popular recently on TikTok. You guys have seen the Young
Hose Run Free.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Yeah, so that is pulled.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
From a song. It's a disco classic called Young Hearts
Run Free. Caddie Yeah, Candy Candy Statin, Caddy Stanton, Candy Stanton,
And it's a disco classic. But if you listen to
the lyrics, what's the sense in sharing this one and
only life like only to end up being another lost
(21:42):
and lonely life. You'll look back at the years and
they will all be filled with tears. And it's a
disco fucking classic. It makes your heart saying when you
hear it, but when you listen to the lyrics, she's
talking about her hyper abusive marriage and you know, you know,
you'll have the babies, but you won't have your man.
He'll be out there loving every woman that he can. Oh,
(22:05):
young hearts, run free and then get it young home. Yeah,
don't get caught up like my man and me. Don't
be like me.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
That's poetry.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
It is poetry, true poetry. It is poetry set to
dance music, which reminds me a lot of salsa. It
reminds me of a lot of salsa classics that are
speaking of tragic, tragic, tragic things. But you're dancing away
to it like.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Yeah, I love her and uh yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
So it's this reminder, like she's like, take it from me, honey,
I did the husband and the kids, and he mistreated
me and I stuck through it, and uh my years
have been filled with to you this. You know, run free,
please me, you do you please leave.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Leave, leave, choose you because again, like I empathize a
lot with women that have stayed that have been put
through the ringer because I stayed and I was put
through the ringer, but I stayed choice just like a
lot of other women. And I think you really don't
get it until you're in it. So you can tell
(23:09):
someone to leave, like so many times, and it's just
one day on a random Tuesday, it'll just click to you, like, hey,
I'm not supposed to be in this relationship. You get
me this. It's either I'm gonna run free or I'm
going to continue this toxic cycle.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the sometimes it's this wild choice
of no choice, you know. And a woman who has
had children with somebody who has been married, who owns businesses, whatever,
it is like the lives have been intertwined. Do you
stick it out and do you say, like, well, what's
(23:43):
better than this?
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Or do you try and find the better? Like do
you rebuild? I mean, there's just yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
And I think that's also another thing. I think women
think that it doesn't get better than that, and then
they won't find somebody else to love them and they'll
die alone and you know, all the you know what ifs,
But it does get better because at the end of
the day, you have yourself, Like, yeah, sure it does
get lonely, but like you'll have yourself, you'll have your peace,
(24:12):
you'll have your happiness, and of course you'll think about
you know, your brain is wired to think about like
only the good that happened in the relationship. But what's
what's better than your piece?
Speaker 1 (24:21):
It's true. I was single for seven years. I love
I loved it too. I loved it too, and it
was very much by choice.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Because I'm like you, there were quarters, but I was
I wanted to so badly to be alone, and like
I dated and whatever, but I didn't want to be
committed to anyone.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
And I don't remember the artist, but there was another
lyric that I used to quote to myself all the time. Yeah,
I'm not lonely, I'm just alone.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
Yes, yeah, I love that. You know, everyone always thinks, oh,
she's she she can't get someone, She's No, I'm literally
single because I want to be single.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
I'm making a choice.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
I like, I'm sorry you guys don't have the option, man,
but we're making the choice to be by yourselves.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
I mean, you can be in a relationship and be lonely. Hello,
you can't have your emotional needs not met, You can
have expectations not met. Right, there's so much loneliness that
can happen in a relationship, in a romantic relationship, you
know at that. And so is it better to than
be alone?
Speaker 2 (25:23):
I think so absolutely? I think so.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
The we're during the enduring The enduring message that I'm
hearing is that to be happy alone, to be happy partnered,
you have to be happy with yourself. You're the only
one that goes with you.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
Yeah, your happiness can be dependent on the person you're
with and vice versa, Like they cannot be dependent on
you to make them happy. You know, you want the
relationship to have happiness, of course, but it can't solely
be dependent on the relationship. Your happiness cannot solely be
dependent on the relationship.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Yeah, And you think about it, like, if you meet
a truly if you are truly miserable, what on the
earth in God's green earth can lift your mood? It's
like really not possible. No, you know, and if you
when you meet another person and you can tell this
person is truly miserable because you know it when you
see it on a person, like this person is sad,
(26:18):
This person is miserable. You also know that you can't
help that, you can't lift that.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
It really is like it's only bring you down to.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Yes, it's you have to an individual must claw themselves
out of it. Yeah, and you can add to it,
and someone can add to you, but they can't like
build the entire foundation.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Yep. And they shouldn't be your whole world either.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
Yeah. How do you navigate like being in relationships and
not making the person your whole world.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
That's something I haven't done yet. Okay, So I went
from what which is why I'm choosing to be alone? Now?
I went from like a nine year relationship to a
five year relationship, so like there was only like a
couple like maybe like a year or like six months
in between. But like it's not like I was really
truly alone because I still had my ex was still
(27:11):
around and this was years ago, like maybe like seven
years ago, and then you know other but like I
would talk to and like stuffisode I wasn't really alone
and I never knew how to really be alone until now.
And my first boyfriend, my first long term boyfriend, kind
of made him like again like the center of my
whole world. And then I said, oh, I'm not going
(27:32):
to do that in this relationship, and I failed miserably,
and I did that again, and I made him the
center of my whole world. And somehow, some way I
stopped along the way like hanging out with friends and
doing girls nights and like checking it out my girls
and like stuff like that. Like I turned into somebody
that I didn't that I would not be friends with.
Now you get me, like I would not. No, no,
(27:54):
So it's taken me a lot, I think, to get
to the point where I'm at, like truly being happy
with myself. I've been in therapy continuously for I've been
on and off in therapy since twenty twenty, but now
since for about a year and a half fully like
every week or every other week, And I feel like
that's honestly helped me one find out like who I
(28:14):
am too, like being okay with being by myself at
all times and truly just finding out who I am
and like how to pour back into myself and knowing
that when the time comes again, because eventually it will,
not to make somebody else my whole entire world, and
to have a life outside of my relationship.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
Yeah, when you were going through that, did you ever
have like a homegirl? Be like, girl, we haven't seen you,
like you're always with your man.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
People just stopped. Like I picked up on it, like
people just stop reaching out. You get me, and like
you kind of like clock in. It's like, well, that's
that's on me. Yeah, Like so you just kind of
realize who like stops checking in because to be fairy,
I stop checking in. So obviously it doesn't feel great
when done to you, but like it's like, babe, you
(29:01):
did it first. So yeah, yeah, I know, man, I'm
telling y'all.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
No, it's it's it's it's a real thing. I mean
I think about like even myself and it's so new
for me and wanting to pour so much into it,
but then like remembering everything that I know about, like
the things we're talking about here today, and like there's.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Also nothing wrong with that, Like you want to, like
your relationship is new, it's fresh, Like you want to
show that person that you know, that you love them,
that you want to spend time with them and all
of that. And I do feel like obviously as the
years passed by, you know, it'll you know, be less
and less. Yeah, but when it's new and it's fresh,
like you do want you want that stage again. You're
(29:45):
not gonna have that stage forever, so I would dive in.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
It's it's true, And I think about I think about
my mom and I didn't realize this until I was older.
So my mom is a professional dancer. My mom is
a flamanco dancer. Yes, I love. If you've ever been
to Elsid on Sunset, it's a Spanish restaurant. It's like
a flamenco supper club. So they do like night clubs
and like DJ nights and like comedy shows now, but
(30:11):
back in the day, it was like every night was
live Flamenco and it's like dinner and a show. And
so my whole life up until I was a teenager,
my mom would like work, work during the day, or
take care of us during the day and then go
perform like four nights a week, and else.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
Said don't go anywhere, looks we'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
And growing up that was like a very normal thing.
You know. She has her armed bag and her folicies
and her sleep back butt and her polka dots and
like her stage makeup four nights a week. But I
think about it.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Now.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
I don't know any other person whose mother was performing
on stage four nights, four out of seven, that's the
majority of nights of the week. And then I think
about my dad and like what that means for a
married couple raising three kids, Like mom is working like
most nights. And I am so grateful to her for
(31:10):
that example and to my parents for that example, because
and they're still married and two parent household and the
three kids and the whole thing.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
You're blessed.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
I'm very blessed. And it's this example of like a
like a woman who's an artist saying like this is
my art, this is my family. They will coexist absolutely,
God damn it.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Yeah, the last thing I do. I love that for
her because she didn't have to give up something that
she truly loved.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
And now Dad supported it exactly, He supported it.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
That's rare.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
It's very rare. And then I think about what kind
of a husband that takes, because I think about most
men and like, are they going to give their blessing?
Like yes, go go dance on stage in Hollywood four
nights a week, Go to it, go kill it, go
get them. And so that's a special man is way
really is a very strong, secure, special man. Yeah, and
(32:06):
it's it's just such a testament to me to like
finding the right fit. Yeah, you know who encourages you
and loves you and supports you because you.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Had a really good example. Yeah, you had a really
good example of it.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Yeah. Yeah. And and so like in my own in
my own relationship, also thinking about like how like the
art that I'm making is also art that like is
not only fulfilling to me, but is also nourishing like
to the relationship. Yeah, and doesn't like do damage to
the relationship because I think that there's also like there's
(32:44):
a give and take there, right, and like what we do,
like we want like I want the support, but I
also want to make sure that like everyone can be
proud of me. Yeah, and that's a balancing act as well.
So I don't know, like in your own work and
in your own relationships, like have you ever had that
like tug of war about like the content or like
(33:06):
the type of work.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
I feel like I without him saying it, in my
last relationship, I feel like I made myself a little
censored like I would say things online. But like again,
like I've I've always been a yappy person. But I
think while I was in my relationship, I like kind
of censored my yap because I don't know how would
(33:30):
this be perceived or how is he going to take it? Like, Oh,
you're supposed to be in a happy relationship, but you're
talking about the struggle. Yeah, exactly, exactly, X, Y and Z.
And it's like I feel like, look, he kind of
like a fraud because I feel like I had so
much to say, but like at the same time, I
was censoring myself. He never said it, but like I
(33:51):
just knew if I would say something wild or outlandish
like I do now, like it would be perceived the
wrong way, you get me.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
So I felt like I definitely I thrive more when
I'm single because I could just say what's on my mind,
right and there's no repercussions or consequence because it's not
hurting another party, you get me.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Yeah. USI you've been navigating this for some time now
of having the show and the public art and your relationship,
your marriage, and I guess like, how do you, like,
how do you balance it all?
Speaker 3 (34:29):
Well, I'm not going to rehash this story because then
it will now live again, because then it will rehash it,
retell it even though I'm trying to not tell it.
So I'll just to give you the gist. VICKI so
back in the day. So when then I started dating,
I already had the podcast and he knew what it
was about. He was, you know, happening with or without you,
(34:50):
so you know, you get with it or you don't.
And he got with it. And I shared a story
one time about so physicality of his right and you know,
did not expect that co workers would listen, and so
he was actually like such a good sport about it.
(35:13):
He was like, hey, so you know so and so
I caught them in the elevator and they told me
they listened to this last episode and he said, you know,
they say some wild things, and he goes, I knew
exactly what he was referring to, and he didn't say like,
don't say that, like how dare you? This is embarrassing
(35:33):
and there was nothing like that, but to me, it signaled, oh, well,
I don't want his coworkers to hear like stories about
him from me when he's in the workplace. And so
it just taught me like, well, you never know who's listening.
So like I can share about myself and the relationship,
but if it's like some things that are a little
(35:53):
too personal for him, like that's not mine to share.
So it's been that balancing act as well of like
knowing what's too much, knowing what's enough. He was cool
with it, and it was it became a joke, you know,
but yeah, you like also don't want to embarrass that.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Yeah, yeah, And I think that's what it is like
just being aware of, you know, the person you're in
a relationship with, which which is horrid when you have
a lot.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
To say yes so much, to say much, to talk
so much to share yes, yes, yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
And then one thing early on that did come up
in the relationship was he had like an issue with
because we would talk about like ho like ho as
politic and it's like a way of like carrying yourself
and it's just a sex positive way of like viewing
female sexuality dating. And we would talk about that a
(36:53):
lot throughout the early in the early days, and he
was kind of like I get it, but like I
don't want you call yourself a hoe, like my sister
follows you and I was like, ho is politics? What
do you mean?
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (37:05):
You know, and so it was one of those like
compromising like I'm not changing my politics and my values.
I also get what you're saying, so like, how do
then I compromise on that? You know? But it's like
in the early days you have to like set like
what is going to work because if not, like someone
can just bulldoze over your life, make you change like
(37:27):
who you are and maybe you're okay with it, maybe
you're not. And but in the beginning, I feel like
that's when the tests happen of like how much can
I push how much can I push for you to change?
How much can I push for you to like do
things the way I want to do it? And you know,
I think it's it is a give and take of
like how much are you like absolutely not and how
much of it is like yeah, actually I'm okay with that. Yeah,
(37:48):
And it's so subjective, it's personal.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
It is because I call myself a b I thl
the time. I don't know if I could say that we.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
Love oh period, are we are?
Speaker 3 (37:56):
Bitch?
Speaker 1 (37:57):
I love this podcast? Keep bitch, we keep forever.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
So I'm like I've always called myself like a bitch,
and I'm just like, but I don't think a bitch
is like a bad word, and like I genuinely don't like.
I think it's someone like an assertive female that knows
what she wants. Yes, so that's how I take it.
You get me.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
So it has been reclaimed. Yeah, completely.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
So I always tell my girls, I'm like, if I
call you a bitch, is like it's out of love.
If I call you sweetie, we must have a problem.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
We have a big problem money.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
I don't like you, so you know. So yeah, so
I'm just like I get what you mean with like
oh and all of that, because I'm like, yes, I'm
a hoe.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Yes yeah, I mean this is why, like all of
our favorite songs, yeah bitch yeah yeah, yes, literally anthems
the two.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
Biggest vocabulary words in my lane, which bitch.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
And how yeah bitch yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
It's like equivalent now to like girl, like honestly, yeah, yeah,
hey girl, hey bitch, hey ho wow easy, It's easy.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
I love it. I love this for us.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
It's universal and it's kind of nder neutral. Okay, yes, yeah, yes,
it's just great. It's not it's not for everyone, but
it's not supposed to be. It's not for you.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
You don't exactly for us.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Yes, it's love.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
It's a term of endearment.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Yes, I love that.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Wow, this has been so fulfilling. Yeah, what a great conversation.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
I love this.
Speaker 3 (39:18):
Yeah. Before we end, I do want to plug the
fact that we were talking about girl talk today, but
we have been talking about on this podcast girl talk
as a form of ethical cheese men.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (39:32):
We coined that term with his back in the day,
episode ten, and we've been cited as like the originators
of ethical cheesement. And so we are talking about girl
talk today and we are talking about sharing and the
vulnerability and how that can be life saving. But we
also call it ethical cheese me.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Yes, I love that term as latinas you know, like
cheese met is so important.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
I feel like it really just releases everything, like you
just need a good cheese men with your homegirls, and
like you just feel so much better, like my day
it's just going to be so much lighter.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
Now, and the excitement when dingle cheese man.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Yeah tell me now, Yes, I cannot win for later.
I'm sad to telling me.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Yes, send me a voice.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
From the evening news, you know, like.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Yeah, oh girl, that's all I got voice memos and
then I'll be like two minutes in, let me send
you another one because it's sitting too long. Yeah that
makes a difference.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Yeah, Like okay, so right, there's just so much to share.
And I think what we talked about on that Ethical
Cheese Me episode is how in a lot of instances,
mohets are sharing cheese men as a form of safety.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Yeah, you know, like, Okay.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
Don't mess with this person because I heard this about
this person and this is dangerous, this is bad for
your health. It's vital information, file information, or I heard
about this thing over here, Like go get in line,
go sign up, you know, go register, like you're going
to get this thing. It's resources. Yes, like this is
(41:08):
how we share information. Yeah, and it's like really like
it's this network. And what we talked about in the
episode was like the difference between being a cheese massa
and a Methicha.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
Yes, there you go.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
Yeah, like if you're Metthicha.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
You're like listening, listening in you're another people's business.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
Yes, and you're sharing it with like malicious yes.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Yes, she's Masa is just giving out vito information and resources.
Speaker 3 (41:35):
Yeah, and the only reason it's been framed as this
like negative thing is because it's been gendered, right, It's
seen as like, oh, women do it, so it is
the cheese made, the.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
Gossip, gossil love to go they do, please, Yes they do.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
But it's been gendered yeah, it's just yeah, it's been
gendered as like women do it, so it's not important,
it's frivolous. It's yeah, you shouldn't. It's yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
But at one point it started as like resource sharing.
It was actually part of like labor organizing dated us
far back to like the fifteen sixteen hundreds, which I
think is intense, which is wild, which is like we
need girl talk, we need gossip, we need ethical cheese, meath.
We do.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
It's a whisper network.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
Yes, yes, it is.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
In the kitchen like in hush tones.
Speaker 3 (42:22):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Yes, it's intelligence, yes exactly.
Speaker 2 (42:27):
Yeah. And it also releases endorphins.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
Yes it does.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
It's good.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
I feel like it really does.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
It really does, because think about like when you come
back from like a long dinner with a friend.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
You're like, oh my god, I just feel so much better.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
Yes, it's like, wow, there are no problems in the world.
Life feels so good. My homegirl and I are so
like in love and like everything is perfect. Yes, because
those endorphins were released with that sharing.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
Absolutely yeah, wow, good for us, Good for us.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
I love that. Thank you so much, Vicky for joining
us as a host today. Thank you guys for having
you med. We know you're also working on something special,
something new. Tell us about it before we sign off.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
So not to give too much. But I also pretty
soon will be having my own little show. It might
be coming in August, might be coming in September. We
have to finalize a couple of the details. But I'm very,
very excited to just yep away.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
Yeah, something to look forward to, something to follow and share. Yeah,
so excited.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
And I'm sure everyone's already following Vicky. But if you're
late to the party, where's Vicky? Where can they follow you?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
It's at Victoria Losa. But it's vic dot Victoria Losa.
Victoria Losa was taken. It's like, who else has my name?
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Why would you do that?
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Can we?
Speaker 1 (43:43):
Sorry?
Speaker 3 (43:43):
Before I need to know why did we retire Vicky
to fitch it?
Speaker 1 (43:46):
You want to know what?
Speaker 2 (43:47):
I just felt like I have more to offer than
just fitness. Yes, and yes, fitness got me started, and
it's given me the platform that I have today. But
I want to do more live style. I want to
give out the advice. I want to do the makeup,
I want to wear the clothes and I don't want
It's not like Vicky the Fitchick was stopping me from
getting opportunities. But I feel like I also had that
(44:09):
name for ten years. I feel like I'm like, Okay,
I just turned thirty six, It's time to grow up.
No more nicknames. Let's just you know, my name is
Victoria Losa and people call me Vicky and yeah, a
lot of people know me as Vicky the Fitchick, but
it's just Victoria Losa.
Speaker 3 (44:24):
No. Yeah, a new season. I love that.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Yeah, a new season in my life.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
A lot of things had to go and a lot
of new things came and I'm.
Speaker 3 (44:32):
Just grateful, amazing, killing it, amazing. Thank you guys, well,
thank you so much for listening to another Capito Lokata Radio.
We'll catch you next time, besitos, Bye Loka lo
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