Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Are you ready to date but lost in the modern
dating world? Today, resident dating expert, well at least in
novels and in real life, Alicia Rye is going to
give someone a love Struck makeover, setting her up to
find the love of her life. I'm Sarah Wendell, I'm
Alicia Ray. Welcome to Love Struck Daily, where we bring
love to your ears every single day. I'm in love
(00:27):
with the love. I'm in love with you, Alicia. We've
talked at length about my extensive dating history, which is zero, yes,
but I understand that you have many an awkward dating
(00:49):
story complete with pastries on a stick. I was sort
of perpetually single for quite a long time and and
I was on all the apps and I did everything.
So what happened was very short story because anyone can
google it. Obviously went on. I went on a first date.
It did not go well, and you know when something's
(01:09):
not going well, and you kind of focus on like
the being that sort of encapsulates how badly it's going.
And so there was a point where he's like, oh, um,
do you want anything, and I already got my drinks.
I was like, no, I'm good, Like thanks, and he
came back with his drink, and he came back with
two cake pops and I was like, oh, that's sweet,
like he got us a little dessert to eat, and
then he ate them both like like in front of me,
(01:32):
and I was just like, oh, okay. So I went home.
I fired off a tweet that was just like he
came back with two cake pops and ate them both
in front of me, And I thought like a hundred
people would laugh at it and we'd all move on
with our lives. And it turned into like a two
week long saga of like men, like especially men on
YouTube discussing it like um and I even went viral
(01:56):
for it, which I think is what you're referring to,
which was absolutely terrifying for me as your friend. I
was freaking terrified, terrified, like your screenshot was on Good
Morning America, because I was discussed on Good Morning America
like that it's not good. Yeah. It was very like
Michael Straighthands weighing in on my love life. It was intense.
(02:20):
I got I had to shut down my Twitter for
a while, like it was. I had a hand the
password over to my friend to like monitor it because
it was so vile so, but there were also like
a lot of fun things, like some random guy sent
me a twenty dollar gift card to Starbucks. It was like,
that was really messed up here having a cake pop
on me. Yeah. So yeah, I have I have had
(02:45):
like normal, run of the mill bad dates. I've had
going viral for a bad dates, and I've had well
I might end up in the trunk of his car
to bad dates. So it's hard out there. Well, today
we have someone who could really use your wide ranging expertise.
And this is someone I know very well. Amanda Deal
(03:05):
is the co pilot and my assistant at Smart Bitches
and we have worked together for almost ten years. But
she is looking for some advice on setting up a
dating profile. I know a lot about dating profiles, and
this is why you are the perfect person for this conversation.
So we are going to give her the love struck
treatment and prep her for the world of dating apps
(03:26):
and modern love. Please welcome Amanda Deal. Hello, Amanda, Hi,
thank you so much for coming on. I believe we're
here to assist in whatever way we can on your
quest for love. We are always happy to help with that. Yeah,
(03:46):
my my love quest has taken a hard reset. So
you were in a long term relationship for a very
long time, right, five five holy years? Yeah, yeah, we
did meet on a dating app up. Oh okay, where
did you mean? We met on Tinder? But my tindering.
(04:07):
I wasn't looking for a relationship when I got into
a relationship. But yeah, I'm not a stranger to dating apps.
But I never thought I would return to them if
it happens. It happens, I mean, and that's that's the dream, right,
just delete them forever and then there. Yeah, I don't
have this anymore. Yeah, Yeah, it's tough. Are there parts
(04:28):
to being single that you are suddenly appreciating? Um? Yes,
actually not being not having plans, not going outside if
I don't want to, Not like having to think what
are we doing this weekend? And nothing? We are doing
nothing because it's just me, myself and I and I
(04:50):
get to decide if I want to stay in bed
and play video games or just nap all day. Cool,
I can do that. On the other side, like I
miss the comfort and familiarity that came with a long
term relationship. It's nice to have someone who kind of
(05:10):
has seen the less than savory parts of being a person.
So it's a trade off. I mean, there's there's definitely
like upsides to it. And when you know, like I
was sort of professionally single and every time, you know,
a huge part of it was like I want a relationship.
I just want somebody. I want to find like a
(05:30):
person who I can be with. But then other parts
of me I was like, wow, I can just get
up whenever I want to go, do whatever I want.
But there's also nothing wrong with you know, wanting to
be in a relationship. And I think that that's totally fine.
I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves
to be like strong and single. And you know, yes,
you you tapped into a good of my therapy. So yeah,
(05:56):
but this is still a very exciting time for me.
This is exciting, Like there is I know, it seems
kind of like maybe you dread it, and maybe no
I did. I had downloaded Hinge and Bumble, either of
which I was using prior I was strictly Tinder before.
(06:17):
But I don't feel like that's the vibe I'm really
going for now, Like I want to actually like put
thought and make more intentional matches. But I had downloaded
Hinge and bumble on my phone, and they sat there
unopened for a few weeks, like baby steps where it's like, okay,
(06:37):
I've downloaded it. I don't feel like I'm ready to
open them and undergo making my profile, and I think
to wish weeks ago I made, I went through and
like I made everything, and all right, live workshop of
the profile. Let's go. This is my first photo that's adorable.
It was a Halloween wedding. Oh that's so cute. I
(07:00):
love your lipstick in that too, little demon girl, very good,
very good, first close up of the face. That's what
you start with. That's excellent. And then Hinge does like
voice not too can we hear yours? The pressure? So
the prompt is a quick rant about we only put
(07:23):
up a red vellet being a flavor because it comes
with cream cheese frosting, which I will conceive it is
very good. So I think we should just normalize putting
cream cheese frosting on other flavors so we can stop
pretending red velvet is actually good. I love a plus
no notes the cake is a lie. Yeah, that's amazing.
(07:46):
The next prompt was you should leave a comment if
and my answer was you never grew out of your
pop punk face. Oh that's cute. I was like an
emo goth high schooler, and that's kind of carried me
into adulthood. I'm like a casual goth woman. I just
want to be someone's casual golf girlfriend. Where we're at.
(08:08):
I think it does sort of pin you, like both
your vibe and you know, like a nostalgia factor of
where you're coming from. So I think that's really cute.
I like that I have an advanced degree. I have
a master's degree. Thirty two women, pan sexual, liberal awesome.
(08:29):
There's another prompt, I get along best with people who
researched the menu before getting to the restaurant. Signal that
you want to go out to dinner. Signal that you
like people who are prepared. Yeah, I love people who
are prepared. Um. And then the last two are to photos.
So this is one from a friend's wedding. Me doing
(08:49):
floor choreography. Oh that's amazing on the floor with your
legs out, ankles crossed, elbows bent, head back And what
happened was I sall and so I just turned it
into floor choreography. That's perfect. I love it. I love it.
So the first photo is great, right, it's very close
(09:10):
up of your face. I would say after that, try
to put like some kind of full body photo after that,
because I do think that I do think it's a
it's a dating app, and like you said, there's like
a physical component of it. What are some clever full
body shots that you've seen, Alicia, Like, I'm thinking, okay,
make this Like I would be so so self conscious
(09:31):
trying to do a photo recruit my roommate. I would say,
I mean, I love your photo on the dance floor. Um,
I think if you're dancing, if you're having fun, if
you don't know what to do with your hands, and
you're feeling awkward, like tuck your tuck your hair behind
your ear, look down, if you don't want to look
at the camera, like make it look like you're just walking.
And someone snapped a photo of you like your Dance
(09:53):
World photo. I honestly, for now, until you get another
like full length photo of you just standing, I would
put that as your second photo. I think it's a
hilarious photo. Move it up because I think it's so
funny and it shows off your personality and it's basically
a full length photos and I will say, like all
of your problems are those are great so far. I
went on my very first date on Thursday, okay, and
(10:16):
I'm seeing them again tonight. They've been really fun to
talk to you. I think our first date we just
talked for three hours over fruity cocktails and French fries,
which is wonderful. That's a perfect first date, right, that
really is a perfect first date. Yeah, what are you
(10:37):
looking for in a partner or in a date? We're
going to speak it into the universe. Whatever you must have.
I feel like I'm not very like strict. I love
some some common ground with any of my hobbies, so
you know, they don't have to check every box. Like
(10:58):
I love to read. It's almost like it's my job.
But like I don't have to date a reader. That's
totally fine. Yeah, I love like video games, I love
horror movies. But I also like to have freedom to
do my own things, Like I am not a partner
(11:19):
who wants to spend all of their time with their
partner doing things together. Are you like more into the strong,
silent type or do you like funny people are listen,
no one's going to be funnier than I am. So, yeah,
that's true. Do you just want someone to laugh at
your jokes? Because that's really what I wanted. I was like,
I need somebody who will laugh at everything I say.
(11:40):
I like, I like laughing, and I also like being funny.
So I feel like, you know, like a goofy sort
of relationship where we can kind of riff off of
each other would be great. Do you have any specific
advice questions that maybe we can try to? Like, what
what have you got? Hit me? As a very strong
(12:05):
person who doesn't like to be vulnerable. What I'm struggling with.
I feel like the person who is interested the most is,
for lack of a better term, the weakest in terms
of the power dynamic. Does that make sense? And it's
hard not to view things that way because it makes
(12:25):
being vulnerable very scary, right, I mean, here's what I
would say to that, And I think that this is
true for everybody, Like I felt that way a lot
of times, like, oh, if I really like this guy,
that means he has all the power, he's in charge.
But once you find somebody, any person who you're both
(12:48):
equally into each other, that worry will kind of recede
a little bit because you're both going to want to
make an effort, and you're both going to be the
more interested party, or at least you're you're going to
think you're the more interested in party. When you're out
there and you're you're talking to somebody, if you get
a vibe that they're not that into you or that
(13:10):
they're not that interested in you, it's okay for that
to be a turn off for you, and you can
be like, Okay, well, I'm not gonna waste my time
with you anymore, and you move on. So I don't
necessarily think it's like a bad thing to have that feeling,
And I think like the other thing right now, I mean,
I've I've only gone on one date so far, right,
But it's kind of also thinking like is the connection
(13:32):
that I'm feeling a mutual romantic connection or do we
just have like really good vibes together, Like I'm feeling
a romantic connection to this person, but is it mutual
or are we just like hanging out, Which I'm like,
that's also totally fine, but to kind of know where
(13:54):
both parties are. Unfortunately, I think that's one of the
things where you just have to hang out with each
other more. It's so it's annoying. I wish there was
like a button you could press on your first date
to be like, yeah, definitely do you like me? Check
yes or not? Yeah, Like it's it's so frustrating because
sometimes you're like, oh, I feel a romantic connection right
(14:15):
off the bat. You know, it takes some time sometimes
to take a couple more dates. But I know that
it is. It is frustrating to not know. I am
a chronically impatient person. Yeah, like I know. Would you
be comfortable if we asked listeners to let us know
if they have somebody for Yeah, okay, great, we would
(14:39):
love that. So listeners, if if you are somebody listening
or if you know somebody, Amanda's fantastic, we can vouch
for her. I am a pan sexual woman, So any guys, gals,
non binary pals, excellent, s my way way, as my
son says, the gays, the bays and the beautiful days.
(15:02):
It's a cute. You can email us at love Stroke
Daily at frolic Doup Media. I promise I will not
be a scary gate keeper to your romantic I will
tackle Sarah. Can you come back and give us an update? Yes? Yeah,
of course, Thank you so much, Amanda for coming on.
We really really appreciate it. Thank you for having me. Sarah,
(15:28):
your coworker is excellent, isn't she lovely? I'm so proud
to work with her every day. I cannot wait. I
hope we can find her like the perfect person. That
would be my dream. If we can make like love
strop connections. Oh it should be jingle love sections prenecting you. Yeah,
(15:48):
hopefully maybe a telephone company jingle. Anyway, what is your
love to go for today's episode? What do you want
our listener to take with them? Don't be afraid to
be honest about what it is you're looking for in
your life. When Amanda was saying she was on tender,
she was looking for, you know, casual connections, and now
she's looking for something and she's looking with intention. Don't
be afraid to have intentions and be honest about what
(16:10):
it is you're looking for in your life. You have
to identify it for yourself where you can go out
and find it. So don't be afraid to be honest
about what you want. Because what you want it's very valid,
and someone else is looking for what you want, it's ready.
What you want, so yeah, be honest and we are
completely serious. If you think you know someone who would
be a good match for Amanda, please email us at
(16:31):
love Struck Daily at for all like dot media. And
if you have a love story to share, or you
want to tell us about your dating app, or you
would link some profile advice, get in touch same email address,
Love Struck Daily at dot media. That also could be
a jingle. You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter
at love struck Daily and please leave a review, subscribe,
tell your friends, yell out the window about how great
(16:52):
the show is. Each and every time someone tags us
on Instagram, I get excited, So please please us that
glee because seriously, I make a complete fool of myself.
Our researcher is Jesse Epstein. Our editor is Jen Jacobs.
We are produced by Abigail Steckler and Little Scorpion Studios
and Gillian Davis with executive producer Frolic Media. This is
(17:13):
an I Heart Radio podcast and as always, we wish
you a wonderful, happily ever after today. I'm in love
with the love. I'm in love with you. I'm in
(17:38):
love with you.