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Two-time Emmy and Three-time NAACP Image Award-winning, television Executive Producer Rushion McDonald interviewed Yasmine Cheyenne.
📝 Summary of the Interview
Yasmine Cheyenne, an Air Force veteran, mental wellness advocate, and author, joined Rushion McDonald to discuss her journey from a disadvantaged upbringing to becoming a published author and wellness coach. She shared insights from her books—The Sugar Jar and her latest, Wisdom of the Path—which focus on boundaries, healing, and self-empowerment. The conversation explored her military experience, personal transformation, and how she helps others confront fear and reclaim their lives.
🔑 Key Takeaways 1. Overcoming Fear and Taking Risks
- Fear of failure and disappointment keeps many people stuck.
- Yasmine encourages people to confront fear and take action anyway.
- Her own decision to join the Air Force was a leap of faith that changed her life.
2. Military Discipline and Life Lessons
- The Air Force taught her discipline, consistency, and resilience.
- She applies these lessons to her personal and professional life.
- Quote: “Do you want to bet on yourself? Be willing to believe in yourself.”
3. Writing as Empowerment
- Her first book, The Sugar Jar, focuses on boundaries and self-care.
- Her second book, Wisdom of the Path, is about using past experiences as wisdom, not shame.
- Writing helped her transform her life and inspire others from similar backgrounds.
4. Boundaries and Self-Prioritization
- Without boundaries, people become overwhelmed and resentful.
- Saying “no” and advocating for yourself is essential to mental wellness.
- Quote: “We have to get comfortable letting people be disappointed with us.”
5. Redefining “Selfish”
- Being selfish is often misunderstood.
- Prioritizing yourself is necessary for success and well-being.
- Quote: “Every successful person has had to be selfish at some point.”
6. Wisdom of the Path
- The book encourages readers to trust their instincts and take the next step.
- It’s not a checklist—it’s a collection of relatable stories and reflections.
- Quote: “Use those experiences that you’re judging yourself for as wisdom to help you move forward.”
7. Mental Wellness Practice
- Yasmine helps people through coaching, writing, and speaking.
- She emphasizes healing through storytelling and shared experiences.
8. Accessibility
- Her books are available in print, digital, and audio formats.
- She personally narrates the audiobook version of Wisdom of the Path.
💬 Notable Quotes
- “Even if things fail, you have what it takes to get yourself to where you want to be.”
- “Take the meat and leave the bone.”
- “You already know what the next step is. What would happen if you just took it?”
- “We’ve been an enemy toward ourselves for years and don’t even realize it.”
#SHMS #STRAW #BEST
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to my show. I'm Rashon McDonald, a host of
Money Making Conversations Masterclass. Well we encourage people to stop
reading other people's success stories and start planning your own.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Now.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
You don't want to miss an episode, so please take
a MoMA right now to follow or subscribe to Money
Making Conversations Masterclass.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
It's free.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
You can follow me on iHeartRadio, app, Spotify, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your podcast. New Money Making
Conversation Masterclass episodes drop daily. I want to keep you
on alert because my guests provide tips on how you
can uplift your community, improve your financial planning, motivation, or
advice on how to be a successful entrepreneur. Now, let's
(00:38):
get this podcast started. My guest is an Air Force veteran,
victim advocate and single mother who is a mental wellness
practice but she's also the author of the book Wisdom
of the Path. Please welcome to Money Making Conversation Masterclass.
Yasmin Chyenne. How you doing? Hi?
Speaker 3 (00:56):
How are you? Thanks for having me great?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Did I say your name correctly?
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Yes? You did?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Okay, I want to make sure I.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Got My name is Rushan and sometimes people say rush
or rue h rauh. And I just want to make
sure because of the fact that you know it's important.
You know, that's part of your legacy. When you walk
in a room and people announce you, you want to
make sure there's announced correctly. Tell us a little bit
about you before we get into the book, miss Anne.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Yeah, well, you know you share that I'm an Air
Force veteran, but I'm also a book one natives, and
I just feel like my purpose is to help people
create their lives that empower them to do what they love,
which is very much aligned with what you do here
on this show.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Yeah, that's that's what I do.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Now.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Let me ask you this when you say that, because
sometimes when I kind of like I'm a good listener,
and I'm assuming you're a good listener too, because and
when people and there's a lot of people out there
that they want to do something but they don't want
to fear stop them. Can you talk about how do
you push people beyond that fear so they can reach
for their dream Ask me.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Oh, my gosh, that's I think that's the hardest part.
The fear gets in the way and get into a
cycle of doing the same things over and over and
over again. And I think for a lot of us,
we're afraid of disappointment. We're afraid of failure. We're afraid
of dealing with and accepting the fact that things may
not go the way that we hope. And so what
I like to do is get people to confront the
fact that even if things don't go the way that
(02:20):
you hope, even if things fail, you have what it
takes to get yourself to where you want to be,
but you have to be willing to keep going. And
I think once we confront the fact that there's so
much evidence that we failed before, there's so much evidence
that we've made it to where we are today, then
we can feel empowered to keep moving.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
We know that empowerment to keep moving. You know, I've
had a tremendous amount of success in my life. I've
also failed in my life. And sometimes I know mentoring
is a very popular term.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I like to believe I had mentors. I just didn't.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
It just wasn't the term that you had back in
the day when I was growing up. They was like
people who just there that kept you on the right track.
That's what they would call people who kept you on
the right track. Now, when you was in the military,
why did you make the decision to go on the
Air Force.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
You know, it was one of those things where I
knew I was not prepared to be an adult. Yet
I knew I wasn't ready. I knew if I stayed
in New York, you know, I was going to get
into some mess. And I wanted. I knew I had
a future that I wanted for myself. I knew that
I really wanted to succeed. I knew that I really
(03:31):
wanted to but I had never seen anyone do it,
and I had just never seen it happen before. So
I really thought to myself, well, if I joined the
Air Force, then I can go to college. Then I
can see the world. I thought I would quote unquote
see the world, and I can have an opportunity to,
you know, basically throw a monkey wrench in what my
life would have been had I stayed where I was,
(03:52):
or what I believed it could have been had I stayed.
So I just decided, I mean, there was no plan
behind this, Like I decided to join the military on
a whim and left two months later. So thankfully it
all worked out. And that's why I feel like I
could practice where I preached because I truly have lived
the experience of taking the risks, and even if it
(04:14):
ends up not being what you wanted, you could find
a way to turn around.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
You know me, Jasmine.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
When you say you joined it on a whim, you
know so, I mean it had to be a lot
of people telling you, girl, you crazy, You're not gonna
do that, that's waste your time.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Why are you so? How did you so?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
You know?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Because that's important because I listened and I heard that.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
I went, well, if that means nobody was like expecting you,
that was the right direction for your personality.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Correct, Oh right, absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
You know you're not gonna listen to nobody.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
No. I had. The only running I had ever done
was running for the bus. You know, I had never
run a day in my life. And I think I
just wasn't the type of person that my mother, you know,
my mother didn't think I would be the person that
would like fall in line and follow directions in that
kind of very militant way. When you say, how did
I do it on a whim? I went in and
(05:09):
visited a recruiter without telling anyone. I felt in my
gut that this was something that I needed to do,
and I knew that if I told other people about
it that they would talk me out of it. And
I knew why, you know, people would be afraid. People
want me to be safe. And there's a lot of
things that go into what happens to your mind, your body,
is spirit when when you join the service. But I
(05:30):
didn't really see any other options, you know, being growing
up socioeconomically disadvantaged AKA four, I didn't really see any
other outlets to be able to create the change in
my life that I wanted. And so that was that
whim that risks that I felt like I needed to
take on myself in my life to just have an
opportunity for something different.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
I'm not trying to turn this show into you know,
go join the Air Force show, but it's important that
people understand that it's an option, a very positive option.
But you have to realize there are rules that they're
not going to adjust for you. So that means discipline,
and I'd like to talk about the discipline that you
(06:13):
encounter when you joined and had to sustain the long
length of time you was in it that you still
use today. Those messages, those those those recordings that will
talk to you about, you know, waking up at a
certain time, being respectful, being people understanding that you are
protecting the country and understand, but thank you for your service,
(06:34):
you know, to our country. You know, talk about that
those tools that will talk to you.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
That you still use today.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Yeah, well, this is the saying that I love to
keep close to me, which you probably heard before. It's
called take the meat and leave the bones. Right. So
when I think about a lot of the experiences that
I've had, especially in the military, I like to take
what work and leave what. I know that and one
of them is disciplined and commitment. It's you have to
be willing to show up, and you have to be
willing to be consistent, and you have to be willing
(07:02):
to do it even when it's not even when it's
not panning out. And that's where I think a lot
of people get stuck, myself included. But it's one of
the things that I learned in the Air Force, and
being in the military is so young and in my
life is something that I guess was ingrained in me,
that be willing to bet on yourself, be willing to
believe on yourself, and I think also learning a level
(07:22):
of I can remember making it through things that I
knew I didn't believe I could make it through. And
it doesn't have to be a military. If you're listening
and you haven't been in the service, maybe it was
a relationship you didn't think you would make it through.
Maybe it was a job you didn't think you would
make it through. Maybe it was your PhD program. Maybe
you know, there's so many things that we go through. Everything.
I don't have the discipline for this, I don't have
(07:43):
the con consistency for this, I don't have the experience
for this, but them we make it. And so when
we make it, that is evidence that no matter what
comes our way, we know we have what it takes.
We have a tool to make it again. We don't
want to keep going through these hard and tough experiences,
but we have what we able to take. And I
think that's one of the main things that discipline at consistency,
(08:04):
but also believing in myself that I took away from
that time.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
At least don't go anywhere.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
We'll be right back with more money making conversations master Class,
Welcome back to money Making Conversation master Class hosted by
me Rashaan McDonald.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Let's get back into it. Wow, talking to you as
me and Chyenne.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Your first book, and I want to bring that up
because I come from a disenfranchised community, you know, filth Forward, Houston, Texas.
Six sisters, two brothers, most of our parents who lived
in a two bedroom shatgun house. And so when I
went to high school, even though I graduated with honors,
I still didn't have the discipline as a writer. And
(08:46):
when I was in college as a freshman, I had
to go back and take remedial English or to advance.
And now I write today. I write all the time.
I became a sitcom writer. And now you are writing books.
This is your second book. I want to go back
to the first book. That had to be a very
powerful moment in your life to know that you said
(09:08):
I didn't say it, you said I came from a
disenfranchised community, poor, poor folks, and now you're writing books.
Talk about that journey in writing the first book and
putting the right words and people acknowledging what you have
to write changes their life.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Yeah, you know, I think this is one of the
beautiful things about having someone like myself, or like having
someone like you having this platform, because I think there's
an idea that, oh, because you come from you know,
the hood or the projects, or from a poor background,
or from all of these different places, that you can't
be well educated. And I think I was incredibly well educated.
The teachers in my schools, in these neighborhoods were so
(09:46):
devoted to my education and my writing and my learning
and building my skill set that I'm so all of
the friends that I went to school with, the majority
of them are today nurses, doctor or lawyers like or
went into the service or opened businesses at this point.
You know, we're far away from elementary school at this point,
but they grew, and so I think it's important to
(10:10):
remember that even though the neighborhood may not have all
of the access as everyone else or as other people,
the blooming was still there, the belief was still there,
the systems were still there. And I know that's not
the case for every neighborhood like mine, but for me,
that was something that really really changed my life for sure,
(10:31):
And not that you don't have rant about school systems,
but that was something that without that, I don't know
what my life would have been like, So The.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Sugar yall, that's your first book before we get to
Wisdom of the Path. You write books about self empowerment
and all aspects of life. And even in this conversation,
I love how you take an experience and you, like
you said, the military can be shared in different like
walks of life, and that's important that people should be
understanding that your experience can be balanced in different lanes.
So it's related to the everyday person because that's all
(11:02):
you're doing, Yes, me, you just want to be relatable
so you can motivate people to understand that this can
be you. Why was writing The Sugar Jaw so important?
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Yeah? I think that with our boundaries, most of us
walk around resentful. We are upset, we are exhausted, we
are overwhelmed, we are drained, And I think boundaries is
the beginning steps to being able to take care of yourself.
And for those of us who are listening who don't
know what boundaries are, it's really being willing to say no.
It's being willing to let people know I'm a capacity.
(11:32):
This isn't going to work for me. I don't have
the time, you know, Advocating for yourself, standing up for yourself,
and for a lot of people, that is the hardest
thing to do in relationships. And so The Sugar Jar
is an introduction into how you can begin to create
boundaries in your relationships that ensure that your relationships are
healthy and that you are also our priority in your life,
(11:54):
and that you're not just giving and showing up for
everyone without thinking about yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
You know, that's a book about understanding you. That's a
book about you. Know, when you wake up in the morning,
it should be about you. A lot of people use
the word selfish, and it's probably the most misunderstood word
I've ever heard in my life because people say, oh,
you selfish. Okay, I'll tell you something. Every successful person
in this world, an athlete Lebron James, is very selfish.
(12:24):
Otherwise he wouldn't be Lebron James. You have to understand
one day, it has to be about you to achieve
your dreams.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Now.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Selfish is bad when it becomes all about you, When
you distance yourselves and you feel that you're better than
people and you don't want to give back to the community,
that's when it's selfish. When you're blessings that you've been
given that have ain't given to you. You don't want
to share with anybody that's selfish. But if you're motivated
to look in the mirror and say, I'm doing this
because this is part of my dream, this is part
(12:53):
of my path. When I get there, oh, I will
look back. And that's what the sugar jaw. When I
was reading it, I felt that was the blessing of
my relationship with the words that you were given to me.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Did I misunderstand anything? He asking?
Speaker 3 (13:07):
No. I love that, And I think that that's the
essence of what the book is truly. I think so
many of us are afraid of being called selfish. So
many of us are afraid of disappointing people. So and
we've had it happen when you finally get the courage
to say no, we've had that say you're selfish, and
so we're like, that's the worst, one of the worst
(13:28):
things you can be called. Yes, justly when you feel
like you're always giving and showing up to people. And
so sometimes we have to just be We have to
let people sit in the discomfort. We have to get
comfortable letting people be disappointed with us, because if we
are if we're never disappointing anyone and we're always showing up,
if we're always there twenty four to seven, then I know,
(13:48):
I know you're tired. I know you don't have time
for your own dreams. I know you don't have time
for yourself, maybe not even for your family and the
things that matter for you. And so this isn't writing
everybody else off and only focusing on yourself. It's prioritizing
yourself so that you can show up for the things
that matter for you in your life, and also for
every everything else in your life that matters too.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
She's preaching right now. She is preaching. Give me preaching
the word of the Word of Shyenne.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Please don't go anywhere.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
We'll be right back with more Money Making Conversations Masterclass.
No need for you to do me a favor right
now to follow or subscribe to Money Making Conversation. It's
free and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Please do
me that favor, follow or subscribe money Making Conversations. Welcome
(14:46):
back to Money Making Conversations master Class, hosted by me
Rashaun McDonald. Money Making Conversation master Class continues online at
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Speaker 1 (15:00):
Let me get back to my favorite person straight out
of Brooklyn Air Force veteran victim applicant who has a
mental wellness practice.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Now, talk about that before we get.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
Into the book, because I think that so many of
us have things that we've gone through, things that we
thought would break us, things that maybe did break us,
maybe did transform us. I hope that when we go
through things that we use it as I like to
use things to push me forward. I there are moments
(15:30):
where I definitely think, oh my goodness, I'm going to
give up, and then I just find someone, find something,
a book, a documentary, a scripture, a you know, anything
that can get me back to that place. And so
maybe that's the vibrance to you here and something I've chosen.
And I think that's why I teach the work that
I teach. I think a lot of us are waiting
(15:52):
for that moment to happen where all of a sudden
everything makes sense. In my experience, we have to choose
each minute to make it make sense when it doesn't
make sense, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Absolutely, I've been involved with when it comes to books,
because defining your voice, you know, with Steve Harvey was
to acting like a lady, thinking like a man. Sold
three million copies worldwide, translating in thirty different languages, two movies,
and then the next book was always what is that
next book? What is that next book? You wanted to
write another book? Why was it important to follow up
(16:23):
The Sugar Jar with another book?
Speaker 3 (16:25):
I'm the writer's right, what I do?
Speaker 1 (16:28):
This is what I do, Okay, right, Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I don't tell jokes. I don't talk about sports. I write, Okay, I.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Talk about sports. I love watching it. Yeah, So I
think that's definitely the motivator. And I think that people,
even though we are in a digital age, I think
that people still love reading a book that they can
relate to, love getting absorbed in something where they see
themselves in it. And I love being a part of
helping tell stories.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
So yeah, is it a Do you have this in
audio too? It's just only in digital in print.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
No, I actually have it in audio as well, and
I've read the book as well.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
That let's talk about that because that is a that
was one of his biggest sellers was audio and also
Steve Harvey's biggest seller was audio because a lot of times.
My wife, you know, she likes to drive, drive a lot.
It's incredible. She just hopped out. There are things called airplanes. Honey, yeah, airplanes,
you can get them. I'm driving, Okay, you want to
(17:29):
drive from Atlanta to Houston and back from Houston.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
And so she always listens to the audiobooks. I don't
say who to her. She loves it, and so she
listens to audio books.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Now, let's talk about the book to give us some
background on it and why you wrote this book.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Yes, so you know what I think about. We talked
about the boundaries. Right. If you're set in the boundaries
in your life, then you're finally starting to say no
to people. You're finally starting to stand up for yourself.
You're finally starting to advocate for yourself. Right. Well, what
usually happens when that, when you do that, is you
start to lose relationships. You realize people are only friends
with you because you have no boundaries. Maybe you realize
(18:03):
your relationship, your marriage is over, you need to change
your job, and so what happens when you have all
of those tough experiences you try to figure out, how
do I get through this? How do I get to
the other side. That is what Wisdom of the Path
is about. This book is not necessarily it's not going
to give you any steps. Unfortunately, I don't have a checklist.
I haven't found on it, so that there was one,
(18:23):
i'd be using it. But when we hear other people's
stories and we can see ourselves and their experiences, even
though it may not be the same, we're inspired, empowered,
and most importantly, we realize we're not alone, and it
can give us just that moment of not tearing ourselves apart,
not judging ourselves anymore, and being on our own side,
(18:45):
so that we can allow people to support us, we
can allow helping, and we can finally figure out what
it is we need to do next. Because when you're
beating yourself up, you can't even see clearly, and a
lot of us have been doing that for years, decades,
and we don't even realize that we've been an enemy
towards ourselves for lack of a better terms.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Well, you know, Wisdom of the Path that tells me
that you know you know, as they say, you see
some footprints, put your foot right in that same footprint,
and don't try to deviate because that path will take
you where you need to go. Just follow it. Now,
when you walk that path, they're gonna be some downtimes.
Sometimes it's gonna break you. They're gonna be some fun times.
(19:24):
Sometimes they're going to tell you don't.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
So much fun.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
It might take you off that path, it might challenge
you to get off that path. Is that really the
nature of the book and the nature of the title,
yas mean?
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Yes. I think the nature of wisdom of the path
is you already have you You already know what the
next step is. You already know you should say no,
you already know what you should be doing. So what
would happen is you just took the next step and
the next step and the next step, and moved forward
in your life, finally started the business, finally did the
(20:00):
thing that you've been thinking about doing, and use those
experiences that you're judging yourself for as wisdom to help
you move forward. And I think that is the essence
of wisdom of the past, to finally take those past
experiences as lessons as opposed to mistakes.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Wow, kick all that fear to the curve, Ladies and
Jim kicking all that fear to the curve. As we
close up, please tell everybody how they.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Can get your book.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Yes, The Wisdom of the Path is available at Bronze
and Noble, Target, Amazon, everywhere books are sold.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Thank you for listening to this episode.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
No, I need for you to do me a favor
right now to follow our subscribe to Money Making Conversation.
It's free and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Please do
me that favor, follow or subscribe Money Making Conversations.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Keep winning.
Welcome to my show. I'm Rashon McDonald, a host of
Money Making Conversations Masterclass. Well we encourage people to stop
reading other people's success stories and start planning your own.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Now.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
You don't want to miss an episode, so please take
a MoMA right now to follow or subscribe to Money
Making Conversations Masterclass.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
It's free.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
You can follow me on iHeartRadio, app, Spotify, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your podcast. New Money Making
Conversation Masterclass episodes drop daily. I want to keep you
on alert because my guests provide tips on how you
can uplift your community, improve your financial planning, motivation, or
advice on how to be a successful entrepreneur. Now, let's
(00:38):
get this podcast started. My guest is an Air Force veteran,
victim advocate and single mother who is a mental wellness
practice but she's also the author of the book Wisdom
of the Path. Please welcome to Money Making Conversation Masterclass.
Yasmin Chyenne. How you doing? Hi?
Speaker 3 (00:56):
How are you? Thanks for having me great?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Did I say your name correctly?
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Yes? You did?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Okay, I want to make sure I.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Got My name is Rushan and sometimes people say rush
or rue h rauh. And I just want to make
sure because of the fact that you know it's important.
You know, that's part of your legacy. When you walk
in a room and people announce you, you want to
make sure there's announced correctly. Tell us a little bit
about you before we get into the book, miss Anne.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Yeah, well, you know you share that I'm an Air
Force veteran, but I'm also a book one natives, and
I just feel like my purpose is to help people
create their lives that empower them to do what they love,
which is very much aligned with what you do here
on this show.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Yeah, that's that's what I do.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Now.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Let me ask you this when you say that, because
sometimes when I kind of like I'm a good listener,
and I'm assuming you're a good listener too, because and
when people and there's a lot of people out there
that they want to do something but they don't want
to fear stop them. Can you talk about how do
you push people beyond that fear so they can reach
for their dream Ask me.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Oh, my gosh, that's I think that's the hardest part.
The fear gets in the way and get into a
cycle of doing the same things over and over and
over again. And I think for a lot of us,
we're afraid of disappointment. We're afraid of failure. We're afraid
of dealing with and accepting the fact that things may
not go the way that we hope. And so what
I like to do is get people to confront the
fact that even if things don't go the way that
(02:20):
you hope, even if things fail, you have what it
takes to get yourself to where you want to be,
but you have to be willing to keep going. And
I think once we confront the fact that there's so
much evidence that we failed before, there's so much evidence
that we've made it to where we are today, then
we can feel empowered to keep moving.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
We know that empowerment to keep moving. You know, I've
had a tremendous amount of success in my life. I've
also failed in my life. And sometimes I know mentoring
is a very popular term.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I like to believe I had mentors. I just didn't.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
It just wasn't the term that you had back in
the day when I was growing up. They was like
people who just there that kept you on the right track.
That's what they would call people who kept you on
the right track. Now, when you was in the military,
why did you make the decision to go on the
Air Force.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
You know, it was one of those things where I
knew I was not prepared to be an adult. Yet
I knew I wasn't ready. I knew if I stayed
in New York, you know, I was going to get
into some mess. And I wanted. I knew I had
a future that I wanted for myself. I knew that
I really wanted to succeed. I knew that I really
(03:31):
wanted to but I had never seen anyone do it,
and I had just never seen it happen before. So
I really thought to myself, well, if I joined the
Air Force, then I can go to college. Then I
can see the world. I thought I would quote unquote
see the world, and I can have an opportunity to,
you know, basically throw a monkey wrench in what my
life would have been had I stayed where I was,
(03:52):
or what I believed it could have been had I stayed.
So I just decided, I mean, there was no plan
behind this, Like I decided to join the military on
a whim and left two months later. So thankfully it
all worked out. And that's why I feel like I
could practice where I preached because I truly have lived
the experience of taking the risks, and even if it
(04:14):
ends up not being what you wanted, you could find
a way to turn around.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
You know me, Jasmine.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
When you say you joined it on a whim, you
know so, I mean it had to be a lot
of people telling you, girl, you crazy, You're not gonna
do that, that's waste your time.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Why are you so? How did you so?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
You know?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Because that's important because I listened and I heard that.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
I went, well, if that means nobody was like expecting you,
that was the right direction for your personality.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Correct, Oh right, absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
You know you're not gonna listen to nobody.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
No. I had. The only running I had ever done
was running for the bus. You know, I had never
run a day in my life. And I think I
just wasn't the type of person that my mother, you know,
my mother didn't think I would be the person that
would like fall in line and follow directions in that
kind of very militant way. When you say, how did
I do it on a whim? I went in and
(05:09):
visited a recruiter without telling anyone. I felt in my
gut that this was something that I needed to do,
and I knew that if I told other people about
it that they would talk me out of it. And
I knew why, you know, people would be afraid. People
want me to be safe. And there's a lot of
things that go into what happens to your mind, your body,
is spirit when when you join the service. But I
(05:30):
didn't really see any other options, you know, being growing
up socioeconomically disadvantaged AKA four, I didn't really see any
other outlets to be able to create the change in
my life that I wanted. And so that was that
whim that risks that I felt like I needed to
take on myself in my life to just have an
opportunity for something different.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
I'm not trying to turn this show into you know,
go join the Air Force show, but it's important that
people understand that it's an option, a very positive option.
But you have to realize there are rules that they're
not going to adjust for you. So that means discipline,
and I'd like to talk about the discipline that you
(06:13):
encounter when you joined and had to sustain the long
length of time you was in it that you still
use today. Those messages, those those those recordings that will
talk to you about, you know, waking up at a
certain time, being respectful, being people understanding that you are
protecting the country and understand, but thank you for your service,
(06:34):
you know, to our country. You know, talk about that
those tools that will talk to you.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
That you still use today.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Yeah, well, this is the saying that I love to
keep close to me, which you probably heard before. It's
called take the meat and leave the bones. Right. So
when I think about a lot of the experiences that
I've had, especially in the military, I like to take
what work and leave what. I know that and one
of them is disciplined and commitment. It's you have to
be willing to show up, and you have to be
willing to be consistent, and you have to be willing
(07:02):
to do it even when it's not even when it's
not panning out. And that's where I think a lot
of people get stuck, myself included. But it's one of
the things that I learned in the Air Force, and
being in the military is so young and in my
life is something that I guess was ingrained in me,
that be willing to bet on yourself, be willing to
believe on yourself, and I think also learning a level
(07:22):
of I can remember making it through things that I
knew I didn't believe I could make it through. And
it doesn't have to be a military. If you're listening
and you haven't been in the service, maybe it was
a relationship you didn't think you would make it through.
Maybe it was a job you didn't think you would
make it through. Maybe it was your PhD program. Maybe
you know, there's so many things that we go through. Everything.
I don't have the discipline for this, I don't have
(07:43):
the con consistency for this, I don't have the experience
for this, but them we make it. And so when
we make it, that is evidence that no matter what
comes our way, we know we have what it takes.
We have a tool to make it again. We don't
want to keep going through these hard and tough experiences,
but we have what we able to take. And I
think that's one of the main things that discipline at consistency,
(08:04):
but also believing in myself that I took away from
that time.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
At least don't go anywhere.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
We'll be right back with more money making conversations master Class,
Welcome back to money Making Conversation master Class hosted by
me Rashaan McDonald.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Let's get back into it. Wow, talking to you as
me and Chyenne.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Your first book, and I want to bring that up
because I come from a disenfranchised community, you know, filth Forward, Houston, Texas.
Six sisters, two brothers, most of our parents who lived
in a two bedroom shatgun house. And so when I
went to high school, even though I graduated with honors,
I still didn't have the discipline as a writer. And
(08:46):
when I was in college as a freshman, I had
to go back and take remedial English or to advance.
And now I write today. I write all the time.
I became a sitcom writer. And now you are writing books.
This is your second book. I want to go back
to the first book. That had to be a very
powerful moment in your life to know that you said
(09:08):
I didn't say it, you said I came from a
disenfranchised community, poor, poor folks, and now you're writing books.
Talk about that journey in writing the first book and
putting the right words and people acknowledging what you have
to write changes their life.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Yeah, you know, I think this is one of the
beautiful things about having someone like myself, or like having
someone like you having this platform, because I think there's
an idea that, oh, because you come from you know,
the hood or the projects, or from a poor background,
or from all of these different places, that you can't
be well educated. And I think I was incredibly well educated.
The teachers in my schools, in these neighborhoods were so
(09:46):
devoted to my education and my writing and my learning
and building my skill set that I'm so all of
the friends that I went to school with, the majority
of them are today nurses, doctor or lawyers like or
went into the service or opened businesses at this point.
You know, we're far away from elementary school at this point,
but they grew, and so I think it's important to
(10:10):
remember that even though the neighborhood may not have all
of the access as everyone else or as other people,
the blooming was still there, the belief was still there,
the systems were still there. And I know that's not
the case for every neighborhood like mine, but for me,
that was something that really really changed my life for sure,
(10:31):
And not that you don't have rant about school systems,
but that was something that without that, I don't know
what my life would have been like, So The.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Sugar yall, that's your first book before we get to
Wisdom of the Path. You write books about self empowerment
and all aspects of life. And even in this conversation,
I love how you take an experience and you, like
you said, the military can be shared in different like
walks of life, and that's important that people should be
understanding that your experience can be balanced in different lanes.
So it's related to the everyday person because that's all
(11:02):
you're doing, Yes, me, you just want to be relatable
so you can motivate people to understand that this can
be you. Why was writing The Sugar Jaw so important?
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Yeah? I think that with our boundaries, most of us
walk around resentful. We are upset, we are exhausted, we
are overwhelmed, we are drained, And I think boundaries is
the beginning steps to being able to take care of yourself.
And for those of us who are listening who don't
know what boundaries are, it's really being willing to say no.
It's being willing to let people know I'm a capacity.
(11:32):
This isn't going to work for me. I don't have
the time, you know, Advocating for yourself, standing up for yourself,
and for a lot of people, that is the hardest
thing to do in relationships. And so The Sugar Jar
is an introduction into how you can begin to create
boundaries in your relationships that ensure that your relationships are
healthy and that you are also our priority in your life,
(11:54):
and that you're not just giving and showing up for
everyone without thinking about yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
You know, that's a book about understanding you. That's a
book about you. Know, when you wake up in the morning,
it should be about you. A lot of people use
the word selfish, and it's probably the most misunderstood word
I've ever heard in my life because people say, oh,
you selfish. Okay, I'll tell you something. Every successful person
in this world, an athlete Lebron James, is very selfish.
(12:24):
Otherwise he wouldn't be Lebron James. You have to understand
one day, it has to be about you to achieve
your dreams.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Now.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Selfish is bad when it becomes all about you, When
you distance yourselves and you feel that you're better than
people and you don't want to give back to the community,
that's when it's selfish. When you're blessings that you've been
given that have ain't given to you. You don't want
to share with anybody that's selfish. But if you're motivated
to look in the mirror and say, I'm doing this
because this is part of my dream, this is part
(12:53):
of my path. When I get there, oh, I will
look back. And that's what the sugar jaw. When I
was reading it, I felt that was the blessing of
my relationship with the words that you were given to me.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Did I misunderstand anything? He asking?
Speaker 3 (13:07):
No. I love that, And I think that that's the
essence of what the book is truly. I think so
many of us are afraid of being called selfish. So
many of us are afraid of disappointing people. So and
we've had it happen when you finally get the courage
to say no, we've had that say you're selfish, and
so we're like, that's the worst, one of the worst
(13:28):
things you can be called. Yes, justly when you feel
like you're always giving and showing up to people. And
so sometimes we have to just be We have to
let people sit in the discomfort. We have to get
comfortable letting people be disappointed with us, because if we
are if we're never disappointing anyone and we're always showing up,
if we're always there twenty four to seven, then I know,
(13:48):
I know you're tired. I know you don't have time
for your own dreams. I know you don't have time
for yourself, maybe not even for your family and the
things that matter for you. And so this isn't writing
everybody else off and only focusing on yourself. It's prioritizing
yourself so that you can show up for the things
that matter for you in your life, and also for
every everything else in your life that matters too.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
She's preaching right now. She is preaching. Give me preaching
the word of the Word of Shyenne.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Please don't go anywhere.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
We'll be right back with more Money Making Conversations Masterclass.
No need for you to do me a favor right
now to follow or subscribe to Money Making Conversation. It's
free and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Please do
me that favor, follow or subscribe money Making Conversations. Welcome
(14:46):
back to Money Making Conversations master Class, hosted by me
Rashaun McDonald. Money Making Conversation master Class continues online at
Moneymaking Conversations dot com and follow money Making Conversations Masterclass
on Facebook, X and Instagram.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Let me get back to my favorite person straight out
of Brooklyn Air Force veteran victim applicant who has a
mental wellness practice.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Now, talk about that before we get.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
Into the book, because I think that so many of
us have things that we've gone through, things that we
thought would break us, things that maybe did break us,
maybe did transform us. I hope that when we go
through things that we use it as I like to
use things to push me forward. I there are moments
(15:30):
where I definitely think, oh my goodness, I'm going to
give up, and then I just find someone, find something,
a book, a documentary, a scripture, a you know, anything
that can get me back to that place. And so
maybe that's the vibrance to you here and something I've chosen.
And I think that's why I teach the work that
I teach. I think a lot of us are waiting
(15:52):
for that moment to happen where all of a sudden
everything makes sense. In my experience, we have to choose
each minute to make it make sense when it doesn't
make sense, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Absolutely, I've been involved with when it comes to books,
because defining your voice, you know, with Steve Harvey was
to acting like a lady, thinking like a man. Sold
three million copies worldwide, translating in thirty different languages, two movies,
and then the next book was always what is that
next book? What is that next book? You wanted to
write another book? Why was it important to follow up
(16:23):
The Sugar Jar with another book?
Speaker 3 (16:25):
I'm the writer's right, what I do?
Speaker 1 (16:28):
This is what I do, Okay, right, Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I don't tell jokes. I don't talk about sports. I write, Okay, I.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Talk about sports. I love watching it. Yeah, So I
think that's definitely the motivator. And I think that people,
even though we are in a digital age, I think
that people still love reading a book that they can
relate to, love getting absorbed in something where they see
themselves in it. And I love being a part of
helping tell stories.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
So yeah, is it a Do you have this in
audio too? It's just only in digital in print.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
No, I actually have it in audio as well, and
I've read the book as well.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
That let's talk about that because that is a that
was one of his biggest sellers was audio and also
Steve Harvey's biggest seller was audio because a lot of times.
My wife, you know, she likes to drive, drive a lot.
It's incredible. She just hopped out. There are things called airplanes. Honey, yeah, airplanes,
you can get them. I'm driving, Okay, you want to
(17:29):
drive from Atlanta to Houston and back from Houston.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
And so she always listens to the audiobooks. I don't
say who to her. She loves it, and so she
listens to audio books.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Now, let's talk about the book to give us some
background on it and why you wrote this book.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Yes, so you know what I think about. We talked
about the boundaries. Right. If you're set in the boundaries
in your life, then you're finally starting to say no
to people. You're finally starting to stand up for yourself.
You're finally starting to advocate for yourself. Right. Well, what
usually happens when that, when you do that, is you
start to lose relationships. You realize people are only friends
with you because you have no boundaries. Maybe you realize
(18:03):
your relationship, your marriage is over, you need to change
your job, and so what happens when you have all
of those tough experiences you try to figure out, how
do I get through this? How do I get to
the other side. That is what Wisdom of the Path
is about. This book is not necessarily it's not going
to give you any steps. Unfortunately, I don't have a checklist.
I haven't found on it, so that there was one,
(18:23):
i'd be using it. But when we hear other people's
stories and we can see ourselves and their experiences, even
though it may not be the same, we're inspired, empowered,
and most importantly, we realize we're not alone, and it
can give us just that moment of not tearing ourselves apart,
not judging ourselves anymore, and being on our own side,
(18:45):
so that we can allow people to support us, we
can allow helping, and we can finally figure out what
it is we need to do next. Because when you're
beating yourself up, you can't even see clearly, and a
lot of us have been doing that for years, decades,
and we don't even realize that we've been an enemy
towards ourselves for lack of a better terms.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Well, you know, Wisdom of the Path that tells me
that you know you know, as they say, you see
some footprints, put your foot right in that same footprint,
and don't try to deviate because that path will take
you where you need to go. Just follow it. Now,
when you walk that path, they're gonna be some downtimes.
Sometimes it's gonna break you. They're gonna be some fun times.
(19:24):
Sometimes they're going to tell you don't.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
So much fun.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
It might take you off that path, it might challenge
you to get off that path. Is that really the
nature of the book and the nature of the title,
yas mean?
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Yes. I think the nature of wisdom of the path
is you already have you You already know what the
next step is. You already know you should say no,
you already know what you should be doing. So what
would happen is you just took the next step and
the next step and the next step, and moved forward
in your life, finally started the business, finally did the
(20:00):
thing that you've been thinking about doing, and use those
experiences that you're judging yourself for as wisdom to help
you move forward. And I think that is the essence
of wisdom of the past, to finally take those past
experiences as lessons as opposed to mistakes.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Wow, kick all that fear to the curve, Ladies and
Jim kicking all that fear to the curve. As we
close up, please tell everybody how they.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Can get your book.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Yes, The Wisdom of the Path is available at Bronze
and Noble, Target, Amazon, everywhere books are sold.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Thank you for listening to this episode.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
No, I need for you to do me a favor
right now to follow our subscribe to Money Making Conversation.
It's free and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Please do
me that favor, follow or subscribe Money Making Conversations.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Keep winning.
Host
Rushion McDonald
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