February 26, 2026 • 19 mins
Can you guess which member of the show has been in therapy for 10 years? In this podcast - get the answer and the greatest lessons learned.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Listen
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Murphy Seramonchoti after the show podcast, and
you know, I want to shout out to anybody who
is going to you know, going the extra mile to
get their degree. Sometimes this happens, you know later in life.
We get a lot of email, you know about that
and interaction on our socials from I mean, Nora is
the first person I think of who is gone from
you know, housekeeping literally in hospital to she's about to
(00:23):
be a certified registered nurse, which is really just you know,
it's it's impressive and.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
One of our keep the wows this week, you know,
going back.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
To school and Jody and our oldest daughter Taylor, who's
you know, still in that in that space right now.
She's at the age of that is going for her
masters in psychology and you and I, well, I'm sorry.
The masters is in technically, it's education. It's the degree
to become a licensed professional counselor. It's a it's a
slightly different path than becoming a clinical social worker. And
(00:52):
so you know, she and she's been all about this
since she was small, and as she's going through the
classes in these semesters that she's doing, she shares a
whole lot of stuff with me in Jody.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
When she comes home just to visit, to eat a hamburger,
to pick up an old coach she had in a closet,
I get a mental health lesson and she doesn't mean
to do it, but she's just that person. You've ever
been around a person that they sprinkle a little bit
of their you know, essence everywhere and you feel better
for it when they've gone. She's a person.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Sharing the info or is she analyzing you too?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
She doesn't analyze that.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
It's really yeah, yeah, she doesn't have to, but you
know and so and obviously we've talked about that before
in the podcast. My point in bringing this one up
is really my personal experience with you know, with counseling
and you know so coming up and now just remember it.
It's so funny. Before we started to deliver you a
book behind the scenes here on the podcast, before we
(01:46):
got started, I couldn't remember why and where I was
going with this. It just hit me the reason that
I wanted to bring this up because this year, in April,
it'll be ten years since my mom passed away. Yesterday
was my dad's birthday. As y'all know, my late dad's birthday,
so we lost both. I mean, it just caused me
to think and I was trying to remember back. You know,
when did I really embrace uh, you know, having counselor
(02:08):
counseling on a regular basis. Well, really, the first go
round with it was, you know, when I was first
diagnosed with type one diabetes and it was just recommended.
I was not anti counseling by any stretch of the imagination.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
You were anti diabetes, yeah, right, exactly, which was the
reason for the counseling.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
And in my my first counselor, Andrea, was a It
was was awesome. She was also a type one diabetic
and she was very, very straight up. I don't know
just about it. I learned a lot about counseling and myself,
you know, from her. But then she ultimately retired, and
when she exited, I stopped going to counseling. I really
(02:46):
I thought it was done, you know what I mean,
It's in my hat. It was like, okay, okay, I mean,
once you've solved the problem, you don't need to go
to the counseling anymore. But I see it so differently
now that you know, I've spent time with it. So
after my mom passed, you know, I mean, as you
can imagine, there were a lot of different field. It
was very sudden. My mom was not in poor health,
(03:07):
or we didn't think she was. It's a very sudden
heart attack. You know, one day she's there, the next
day she's gone. The last time I had actually spoken
with her, I guess on the phone. I'd talked with
her a week before, the last time i'd seen her
was two weeks before. And so it's just all those
things that come up, you know, when someone passes, and
and Jody noticed that I was having, you know, issues
(03:28):
with that. So I took it upon myself to go
back to counseling again. And I think because a lot
of it was like traumatic events tend to do. They
make you lash out, they make you angry when you
don't want to be, you know, those kinds of things,
And so it was it was a smart move for
(03:49):
me to get back into counseling. So I've had the
same counselor now for for ten years. Don't miss. I
don't miss you know. It's the reason I'm sharing this
is for anybody it's never had counseling professional counseling or
hesitant to do it, or you know some are wondering,
you know, I don't feel like sharing, or I don't
(04:09):
feel like going there, or like once I'm done, I'm done.
If you think you got to solve a problem, it's
so much more than that. I'm very complex and a
lot of what I do in my life is self imposed. No,
I'm not. I don't mean necessarily in a negative way.
I actually love and I've learned to embrace. You know
who I am over the years. I'm excessive, I'm compulsive,
(04:32):
I'm not satisfied. I'm very satisfied in my marriage, Jody.
But anyway I mean, I mean because you know, to me,
the world, the world keeps changing.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Saying mean exactly when you say and so.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
But you know, but the world keeps changing, and I
want to change right along with it, so I don't.
I'm not the kind of person who wants to get
up to a place in my life where I coast.
I want to enjoy and I want to relax. But
I'm not stopping. I'm not stopped until I physically can't
do it anymore. Because the day that you do stop
and figure it's time to throttle back. You're going to
(05:07):
get what you choose to do, you know. And so
there's a whole lot of junk that's going on, you know,
up in my head bouncing around almost all the time.
And this is where I wanted to go with this
is you know, I was concerned and I may have
had this conversation with Taylor. I was concerned that familiarity
would become an issue over time by keeping the same
(05:29):
count story. It's like, okay, so you know everything, We've
talked about everything. At some point, it's like, is the
advice going to keep coming? Is that? You know? I mean,
am I still going to get the benefits of it?
And and I realize now what that is the biggest
benefit of it is even just because I'm doing it
every three weeks now, is is summing up rolling the
(05:50):
credits like we're talking about in the show or whatever
almost happened in the last you know, couple of weeks.
It's like this massive brain dump. So what it's forcing
me to do is it's like a mental journal almost
of talking about you know, my wins or the concerns
that I have or whatever. It's you know, it's not
overly heavy, very rarely is it heavy. Yes, there have
(06:13):
been some, you know, problems that I've bumped into that
I've had to navigate that you love to hear, you know,
the you hear the feedback on. I think the biggest
benefit is that we we forget, especially when we get busy,
we become less social. And you know what I mean,
And unless you're busy is in a social way. What
(06:34):
I mean by that is, if your task list is
so long and you're so focused on everything and that's
what you're trying to tackle and wrap your arms around,
you're seeling yourself off from the you know, from the
rest of the world. And isolation is never a good
thing under any circumstances. I mean, it's basic psychology shows
you lack of socialization creates its own set of problems,
and the biggest of that being that when we're in
(06:56):
when are when we are in our own heads, we
can lose context real quick. Yeah, because we're sealed off
from everything. We become in our own universe. We're in
our own head and.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
And you're only turning to yourself for advice.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah, which you know, and the thing is, yeah, and
you cannot really see yourself clearly especially when you're when
you're in a stressful time period in your life or
going through something that's you know, traumatic, and it's okay
to feel those feelings and it is totally okay to
have somebody that you trust to have those conversations with.
And so for ten years now it's been one of
(07:38):
those balanced, wonderful, you know relationships, because he's definitely somebody
that I considered to be a friend, but he's an
incredible professional and just maintains that, you know, that distance
between So I actually when I drive up on some
days and goes like, why did I keep this appointment
on so often? I don't have time for this today.
I've been doing this forever. Do I really need to
(07:59):
do this today? And then you just go forward and
sit down, and somehow an hour later, it's it's paid off,
even if it even if there's no specific advice. I
don't walk in there looking for solutions anymore. I walk
in there just to be and work through things.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
It's one of the most beautiful things in the world
because you can't you really, you can't do that with
a friend and it be just without any implications. Yeah,
you know, with a friend, if you always do that,
then you're the person that always does that, you know,
and and a friend is not unbiased, and a friend
is not educated in the ways to help you see things.
(08:36):
Is it is really one of the most beautiful things
in the world. Every person on the planet could and
should go to therapy period. That's what I really think. Uh.
And it's funny because Taylor's if she were hearing this,
she'd be like, yeah, yeah, she's right. And so it's
beautiful that you realize that sometimes it doesn't have to
(09:00):
be some major breakthrough. We see that in the movies.
You know, you see a major breakthrough and that's the
whole point of the story. And you probably have had
some breakthroughs.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
In there, but I've had some huge break But.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Sometimes when you're in there it's a benefit you don't
even realize that you just visiting. But it also has
built the trust and built the relationship and sure you
two have put in the time to where he really
knows you. So when there is look, there have been
difficult things in your past, there will be difficult things
in your future, and you may need him for a
big event or for a big moment in the future
(09:37):
that you just don't even know about yet. Yeah, So
it's nice that you have the safe space. Yeah, that's
what Taylor always says. Everybody needs a safe space that
doesn't have other strings attached, like family, even your best friend.
There are strings attached, there are expectations and feelings. Not
with a license certified you know therapist.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Yeah, and his clinical notes are always accurate. He always
remembers where we left off from, you know, he always
remembers to follow up on something that I would have
forgotten up, you know, to you know, to ask about.
But you know, what you're saying about friends is so true,
And I mean some of the greatest friends in the world.
You being my absolute best friend, Jody, you know who
(10:16):
I trust, you know completely and who knows everything about
me anyway is many of your friends and sometimes even
your mentors will do this, they'll filter some things. Now,
I have one mentor who I love, who's you know,
also one of my greatest friends of all time, Mark,
who is always honest about absolutely everything, and I love
(10:40):
that he knows how to say something that won't you know,
it won't intentionally hurt. But you're going to get the
truth from me. You're not going to get some sort
of caged, you know, filtered, you know answer, but not
everybody you know is like that, And it's fine. I mean,
I'm sure I filter myself around, you know, my friends,
on things that you don't want to hurt somebody's feelings
and you're trying to support them.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Through something you know, but doesn't have to do that.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
That's correct, right, exactly.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Because of the trappings of a relationship. They don't have
a trappings of a relationship with you.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Yeah. Personal question, before you started therapy other years ago,
did you consider it a weakness to go.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
To That's a good question, that a great question.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Little perspective here. I never went to therapy. I mean
I started back in my thirties, but before that, I
always considered it a sign a weakness. I can do
it myself. Same thing with medication for depression, anxiety, stuff
like that. I don't need that. I can work this
out myself. And you know, stuck on that until I
finally went to a therapist, to a counselor, and then
(11:44):
it was like eyes were open. Yeah, it's like, I
have no problem on medicaid. You know, give me whatever
to make to set me straight. Let me talk to
whoever I need to talk to to set me straight.
It's like a complete one eighty.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
But like, were you like that too, like so you know,
I mean, I think we're in the age right now
which I just I love. It's it's by far less
stigmatized than it ever was. It shouldn't have been. And
you know, part of it's probably the nickname problems of
the of the past, calling them strengths, you know. And
and there was a time where it was perceived that
(12:17):
only the wealthiest people would you know, would go to
get counseling. My mom was always she was a bit
of a control freak, and she was concerned about somebody
brainwashing and so that was kind of but that I
don't know that I ever had that. It was never
a thing of weakness for me. But what you just
described just now is the same reason that you and
(12:39):
I don't drink anymore. It's control. The moment you think
that you're controlling everything. And it doesn't matter what your
religious beliefs are, by the way, but the moment that
you think that you're in control of everything is the
moment that you actually are not. And the name is
true with mental health exactly. And so so yeah, but
and I love that there's no there's no shame in that.
And I think that you know, it's been it's been
(13:02):
a long time coming, and I think it's been here
for a while. But it's gen Z is the champion
of this, yeah right now, definitely. And they're the ones
that actually are going, Okay, there's a little too much
tech in our lives right now. And they were they
were raised on tech, you know, and in too much
on my arm, and so they really want and they're
I mean, and and because they are so deep in
(13:24):
social media with everything from shopping, the source of news
and all that like that, it would overwhelm anybody. It
does overwhelm everybody. And so a focus on that is
it's not just you know, uh a trendy talk thing
talking point for today. It's you know, it's not stigmatized.
And I guess where I was going with that is
(13:46):
the the is the longevity part, because I think at
some point I always thought I just I'll stop when
I don't need it anymore. But I realize now, I mean,
he's a partner in my success in life, you know,
in in and it's it's it's a good investment of
time it's a good investment of money. It's a good
investment of everything.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Something that Taylor did teach me recently too. We're having
a conversation about some of the classes she's taking studying
right now, like group therapy and family therapy and children,
you know, children counseling adolescents is one of her courses
this semester. We were just talking about it in general,
and she said something, and I loved this. You're talking
about a long relationship with a therapist. You know, you're
(14:28):
decade here. You've got a decade with him. And I
told her my story because years ago I was having
an issue with a family member, a surprise that had
come my way personally that I had trouble accepting. And
you remember this, that I went to a counselor for
(14:49):
a short period of time to sort of sort it out.
And then when I was done and I say done,
I had gotten a lot out of it from her.
She was wonderful and she helped me see things more clearly.
I was sitting there one day and I told her,
I feel like I have the clarity that I needed
and what I came here for, and I would like
to just stop coming for now, and I said that
(15:09):
almost with apology, and she was like great. And I
told Taylor that story and Taylor totally said that is
correct too. You can show up and get what you need.
You can start and stop as you need.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
There's no there's there's no art.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
It's the most personal thing that there is, So there's
no there's no heart and fast rule for anybody.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
No. Now. I mean a lot of times the therapists
will say I do want you to keep coming. I
do think and if they're if they're real clinical thought
is that you do need it, they they should say
that to you. But don't feel like you're being sold it.
Taylor was just like you, you get to drive the
bus for your mental health, and she suggests you drive
to a therapist and spend that time. But you can
(15:51):
start and stop as you need, is what she said.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
The therapist, if it's a serious enough situation, they're going
to say, I want to start seeing you every week.
Right to me. When I get told that, or when
I got told that, it's like, Okay, I'm doing the
right thing and it's obviously a lot of work needs
to be done. Yeah, And then you do get to
the point, hopefully where it's like you can bring for
every three weeks, every four weeks.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Right, Yeah, it is something you get Druve. You're the
one that lives with you. You live with yourself twenty
four hours a day. You know whether you are feeling
right or not, and so drive the bus accordingly.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Yeah, exactly, that's I mean to me, that's the important
The reason I wanted to share that is because again,
as long as I've been doing this, I had a
at some point along the way way, I had a
preconceived notion that I'm glad that I ignored because in my case,
this is actually what's you know, working great. And you're right,
it's not going to be for everybody, but you know,
for anybody that still has you know, has tried to
(16:44):
wrangle the situation, like Sam was saying, you've tried to
do it all yourself. You know, there's nothing wrong with
seeking somebody that you trust to begin to have those
conversations and if that person's not a fit for you,
then you move on to the next person or whatever
it is that you know you need to do. But
there's zero stigma about it today, and you know it's
I think anytime we retreat back into our own heads,
(17:06):
which is very easy for me to do because it's
how my brain works. It's the maintenance part of it.
It's like maintenance on a vehicle or anything else. You know,
it's that three weeks. It's it's almost like a three
week checkup that realigns me. And sometimes I can't even
tell you why. I feel more clear coming out of it.
I don't know we can tackle any major problems or anything.
(17:27):
I'm just clear.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
You know, the touchtone that you need that you depend on.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
I always felt clear, whether I got advice or not.
I always felt clear because it was off my chest.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Correct.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
Yeah, I just like black, which is really what they
don't get judged. It's just yeah, it's psychological matter.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Therapy is really I mean, because sometimes what you're doing
is you're actually hearing what you're saying versus it being
just silent in your mind. And it's weird how verbalizing
can suddenly start to work something or give you a perspective.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Gives you, it gives it life. And with someone else
who can help, and their job is to not is
not to tell you what you should do, it's to
help you get to a place. They're literally just guiding you.
You're doing the work, yes, but you need the guide.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
So I wanted to share that. We didn't want it
to be too heavy of a podcast. It's almost serious,
more serious than you know, than we get, but you know,
an important share. So, you know, shout out to therapist,
Thank you for all that you do. Thank you for
investing what you do in your training and the extra
education that you get in licensing to do what you do.
You make a big difference, and you know, and Taylor's
(18:32):
going to need it, joining the ranks.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Speaking of Taylor, I know she likes to listen to
these podcasts.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
She might be listening and when we talk.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
About therapy and stuff like that, we get we always
get a feed, some kind of feed. So yeah, I
want to know what she has to say about this one.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Like I got news for you. She's ready to do
another podcast with us if anytime soon. Her school schedule
keeps her very very busy, but she does love to
talk mental health, so we'll do that one again soon.
Subscribe to the Murphy, Salm and Jody podcast free and
Zie
Welcome to the Murphy Seramonchoti after the show podcast, and
you know, I want to shout out to anybody who
is going to you know, going the extra mile to
get their degree. Sometimes this happens, you know later in life.
We get a lot of email, you know about that
and interaction on our socials from I mean, Nora is
the first person I think of who is gone from
you know, housekeeping literally in hospital to she's about to
(00:23):
be a certified registered nurse, which is really just you know,
it's it's impressive and.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
One of our keep the wows this week, you know,
going back.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
To school and Jody and our oldest daughter Taylor, who's
you know, still in that in that space right now.
She's at the age of that is going for her
masters in psychology and you and I, well, I'm sorry.
The masters is in technically, it's education. It's the degree
to become a licensed professional counselor. It's a it's a
slightly different path than becoming a clinical social worker. And
(00:52):
so you know, she and she's been all about this
since she was small, and as she's going through the
classes in these semesters that she's doing, she shares a
whole lot of stuff with me in Jody.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
When she comes home just to visit, to eat a hamburger,
to pick up an old coach she had in a closet,
I get a mental health lesson and she doesn't mean
to do it, but she's just that person. You've ever
been around a person that they sprinkle a little bit
of their you know, essence everywhere and you feel better
for it when they've gone. She's a person.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Sharing the info or is she analyzing you too?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
She doesn't analyze that.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
It's really yeah, yeah, she doesn't have to, but you
know and so and obviously we've talked about that before
in the podcast. My point in bringing this one up
is really my personal experience with you know, with counseling
and you know so coming up and now just remember it.
It's so funny. Before we started to deliver you a
book behind the scenes here on the podcast, before we
(01:46):
got started, I couldn't remember why and where I was
going with this. It just hit me the reason that
I wanted to bring this up because this year, in April,
it'll be ten years since my mom passed away. Yesterday
was my dad's birthday. As y'all know, my late dad's birthday,
so we lost both. I mean, it just caused me
to think and I was trying to remember back. You know,
when did I really embrace uh, you know, having counselor
(02:08):
counseling on a regular basis. Well, really, the first go
round with it was, you know, when I was first
diagnosed with type one diabetes and it was just recommended.
I was not anti counseling by any stretch of the imagination.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
You were anti diabetes, yeah, right, exactly, which was the
reason for the counseling.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
And in my my first counselor, Andrea, was a It
was was awesome. She was also a type one diabetic
and she was very, very straight up. I don't know
just about it. I learned a lot about counseling and myself,
you know, from her. But then she ultimately retired, and
when she exited, I stopped going to counseling. I really
(02:46):
I thought it was done, you know what I mean,
It's in my hat. It was like, okay, okay, I mean,
once you've solved the problem, you don't need to go
to the counseling anymore. But I see it so differently
now that you know, I've spent time with it. So
after my mom passed, you know, I mean, as you
can imagine, there were a lot of different field. It
was very sudden. My mom was not in poor health,
(03:07):
or we didn't think she was. It's a very sudden
heart attack. You know, one day she's there, the next
day she's gone. The last time I had actually spoken
with her, I guess on the phone. I'd talked with
her a week before, the last time i'd seen her
was two weeks before. And so it's just all those
things that come up, you know, when someone passes, and
and Jody noticed that I was having, you know, issues
(03:28):
with that. So I took it upon myself to go
back to counseling again. And I think because a lot
of it was like traumatic events tend to do. They
make you lash out, they make you angry when you
don't want to be, you know, those kinds of things,
And so it was it was a smart move for
(03:49):
me to get back into counseling. So I've had the
same counselor now for for ten years. Don't miss. I
don't miss you know. It's the reason I'm sharing this
is for anybody it's never had counseling professional counseling or
hesitant to do it, or you know some are wondering,
you know, I don't feel like sharing, or I don't
(04:09):
feel like going there, or like once I'm done, I'm done.
If you think you got to solve a problem, it's
so much more than that. I'm very complex and a
lot of what I do in my life is self imposed. No,
I'm not. I don't mean necessarily in a negative way.
I actually love and I've learned to embrace. You know
who I am over the years. I'm excessive, I'm compulsive,
(04:32):
I'm not satisfied. I'm very satisfied in my marriage, Jody.
But anyway I mean, I mean because you know, to me,
the world, the world keeps changing.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Saying mean exactly when you say and so.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
But you know, but the world keeps changing, and I
want to change right along with it, so I don't.
I'm not the kind of person who wants to get
up to a place in my life where I coast.
I want to enjoy and I want to relax. But
I'm not stopping. I'm not stopped until I physically can't
do it anymore. Because the day that you do stop
and figure it's time to throttle back. You're going to
(05:07):
get what you choose to do, you know. And so
there's a whole lot of junk that's going on, you know,
up in my head bouncing around almost all the time.
And this is where I wanted to go with this
is you know, I was concerned and I may have
had this conversation with Taylor. I was concerned that familiarity
would become an issue over time by keeping the same
(05:29):
count story. It's like, okay, so you know everything, We've
talked about everything. At some point, it's like, is the
advice going to keep coming? Is that? You know? I mean,
am I still going to get the benefits of it?
And and I realize now what that is the biggest
benefit of it is even just because I'm doing it
every three weeks now, is is summing up rolling the
(05:50):
credits like we're talking about in the show or whatever
almost happened in the last you know, couple of weeks.
It's like this massive brain dump. So what it's forcing
me to do is it's like a mental journal almost
of talking about you know, my wins or the concerns
that I have or whatever. It's you know, it's not
overly heavy, very rarely is it heavy. Yes, there have
(06:13):
been some, you know, problems that I've bumped into that
I've had to navigate that you love to hear, you know,
the you hear the feedback on. I think the biggest
benefit is that we we forget, especially when we get busy,
we become less social. And you know what I mean,
And unless you're busy is in a social way. What
(06:34):
I mean by that is, if your task list is
so long and you're so focused on everything and that's
what you're trying to tackle and wrap your arms around,
you're seeling yourself off from the you know, from the
rest of the world. And isolation is never a good
thing under any circumstances. I mean, it's basic psychology shows
you lack of socialization creates its own set of problems,
and the biggest of that being that when we're in
(06:56):
when are when we are in our own heads, we
can lose context real quick. Yeah, because we're sealed off
from everything. We become in our own universe. We're in
our own head and.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
And you're only turning to yourself for advice.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah, which you know, and the thing is, yeah, and
you cannot really see yourself clearly especially when you're when
you're in a stressful time period in your life or
going through something that's you know, traumatic, and it's okay
to feel those feelings and it is totally okay to
have somebody that you trust to have those conversations with.
And so for ten years now it's been one of
(07:38):
those balanced, wonderful, you know relationships, because he's definitely somebody
that I considered to be a friend, but he's an
incredible professional and just maintains that, you know, that distance
between So I actually when I drive up on some
days and goes like, why did I keep this appointment
on so often? I don't have time for this today.
I've been doing this forever. Do I really need to
(07:59):
do this today? And then you just go forward and
sit down, and somehow an hour later, it's it's paid off,
even if it even if there's no specific advice. I
don't walk in there looking for solutions anymore. I walk
in there just to be and work through things.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
It's one of the most beautiful things in the world
because you can't you really, you can't do that with
a friend and it be just without any implications. Yeah,
you know, with a friend, if you always do that,
then you're the person that always does that, you know,
and and a friend is not unbiased, and a friend
is not educated in the ways to help you see things.
(08:36):
Is it is really one of the most beautiful things
in the world. Every person on the planet could and
should go to therapy period. That's what I really think. Uh.
And it's funny because Taylor's if she were hearing this,
she'd be like, yeah, yeah, she's right. And so it's
beautiful that you realize that sometimes it doesn't have to
(09:00):
be some major breakthrough. We see that in the movies.
You know, you see a major breakthrough and that's the
whole point of the story. And you probably have had
some breakthroughs.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
In there, but I've had some huge break But.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Sometimes when you're in there it's a benefit you don't
even realize that you just visiting. But it also has
built the trust and built the relationship and sure you
two have put in the time to where he really
knows you. So when there is look, there have been
difficult things in your past, there will be difficult things
in your future, and you may need him for a
big event or for a big moment in the future
(09:37):
that you just don't even know about yet. Yeah, So
it's nice that you have the safe space. Yeah, that's
what Taylor always says. Everybody needs a safe space that
doesn't have other strings attached, like family, even your best friend.
There are strings attached, there are expectations and feelings. Not
with a license certified you know therapist.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Yeah, and his clinical notes are always accurate. He always
remembers where we left off from, you know, he always
remembers to follow up on something that I would have
forgotten up, you know, to you know, to ask about.
But you know, what you're saying about friends is so true,
And I mean some of the greatest friends in the world.
You being my absolute best friend, Jody, you know who
(10:16):
I trust, you know completely and who knows everything about
me anyway is many of your friends and sometimes even
your mentors will do this, they'll filter some things. Now,
I have one mentor who I love, who's you know,
also one of my greatest friends of all time, Mark,
who is always honest about absolutely everything, and I love
(10:40):
that he knows how to say something that won't you know,
it won't intentionally hurt. But you're going to get the
truth from me. You're not going to get some sort
of caged, you know, filtered, you know answer, but not
everybody you know is like that, And it's fine. I mean,
I'm sure I filter myself around, you know, my friends,
on things that you don't want to hurt somebody's feelings
and you're trying to support them.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Through something you know, but doesn't have to do that.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
That's correct, right, exactly.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Because of the trappings of a relationship. They don't have
a trappings of a relationship with you.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Yeah. Personal question, before you started therapy other years ago,
did you consider it a weakness to go.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
To That's a good question, that a great question.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Little perspective here. I never went to therapy. I mean
I started back in my thirties, but before that, I
always considered it a sign a weakness. I can do
it myself. Same thing with medication for depression, anxiety, stuff
like that. I don't need that. I can work this
out myself. And you know, stuck on that until I
finally went to a therapist, to a counselor, and then
(11:44):
it was like eyes were open. Yeah, it's like, I
have no problem on medicaid. You know, give me whatever
to make to set me straight. Let me talk to
whoever I need to talk to to set me straight.
It's like a complete one eighty.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
But like, were you like that too, like so you know,
I mean, I think we're in the age right now
which I just I love. It's it's by far less
stigmatized than it ever was. It shouldn't have been. And
you know, part of it's probably the nickname problems of
the of the past, calling them strengths, you know. And
and there was a time where it was perceived that
(12:17):
only the wealthiest people would you know, would go to
get counseling. My mom was always she was a bit
of a control freak, and she was concerned about somebody
brainwashing and so that was kind of but that I
don't know that I ever had that. It was never
a thing of weakness for me. But what you just
described just now is the same reason that you and
(12:39):
I don't drink anymore. It's control. The moment you think
that you're controlling everything. And it doesn't matter what your
religious beliefs are, by the way, but the moment that
you think that you're in control of everything is the
moment that you actually are not. And the name is
true with mental health exactly. And so so yeah, but
and I love that there's no there's no shame in that.
And I think that you know, it's been it's been
(13:02):
a long time coming, and I think it's been here
for a while. But it's gen Z is the champion
of this, yeah right now, definitely. And they're the ones
that actually are going, Okay, there's a little too much
tech in our lives right now. And they were they
were raised on tech, you know, and in too much
on my arm, and so they really want and they're
I mean, and and because they are so deep in
(13:24):
social media with everything from shopping, the source of news
and all that like that, it would overwhelm anybody. It
does overwhelm everybody. And so a focus on that is
it's not just you know, uh a trendy talk thing
talking point for today. It's you know, it's not stigmatized.
And I guess where I was going with that is
(13:46):
the the is the longevity part, because I think at
some point I always thought I just I'll stop when
I don't need it anymore. But I realize now, I mean,
he's a partner in my success in life, you know,
in in and it's it's it's a good investment of
time it's a good investment of money. It's a good
investment of everything.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Something that Taylor did teach me recently too. We're having
a conversation about some of the classes she's taking studying
right now, like group therapy and family therapy and children,
you know, children counseling adolescents is one of her courses
this semester. We were just talking about it in general,
and she said something, and I loved this. You're talking
about a long relationship with a therapist. You know, you're
(14:28):
decade here. You've got a decade with him. And I
told her my story because years ago I was having
an issue with a family member, a surprise that had
come my way personally that I had trouble accepting. And
you remember this, that I went to a counselor for
(14:49):
a short period of time to sort of sort it out.
And then when I was done and I say done,
I had gotten a lot out of it from her.
She was wonderful and she helped me see things more clearly.
I was sitting there one day and I told her,
I feel like I have the clarity that I needed
and what I came here for, and I would like
to just stop coming for now, and I said that
(15:09):
almost with apology, and she was like great. And I
told Taylor that story and Taylor totally said that is
correct too. You can show up and get what you need.
You can start and stop as you need.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
There's no there's there's no art.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
It's the most personal thing that there is, So there's
no there's no heart and fast rule for anybody.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
No. Now. I mean a lot of times the therapists
will say I do want you to keep coming. I
do think and if they're if they're real clinical thought
is that you do need it, they they should say
that to you. But don't feel like you're being sold it.
Taylor was just like you, you get to drive the
bus for your mental health, and she suggests you drive
to a therapist and spend that time. But you can
(15:51):
start and stop as you need, is what she said.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
The therapist, if it's a serious enough situation, they're going
to say, I want to start seeing you every week.
Right to me. When I get told that, or when
I got told that, it's like, Okay, I'm doing the
right thing and it's obviously a lot of work needs
to be done. Yeah, And then you do get to
the point, hopefully where it's like you can bring for
every three weeks, every four weeks.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Right, Yeah, it is something you get Druve. You're the
one that lives with you. You live with yourself twenty
four hours a day. You know whether you are feeling
right or not, and so drive the bus accordingly.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Yeah, exactly, that's I mean to me, that's the important
The reason I wanted to share that is because again,
as long as I've been doing this, I had a
at some point along the way way, I had a
preconceived notion that I'm glad that I ignored because in my case,
this is actually what's you know, working great. And you're right,
it's not going to be for everybody, but you know,
for anybody that still has you know, has tried to
(16:44):
wrangle the situation, like Sam was saying, you've tried to
do it all yourself. You know, there's nothing wrong with
seeking somebody that you trust to begin to have those
conversations and if that person's not a fit for you,
then you move on to the next person or whatever
it is that you know you need to do. But
there's zero stigma about it today, and you know it's
I think anytime we retreat back into our own heads,
(17:06):
which is very easy for me to do because it's
how my brain works. It's the maintenance part of it.
It's like maintenance on a vehicle or anything else. You know,
it's that three weeks. It's it's almost like a three
week checkup that realigns me. And sometimes I can't even
tell you why. I feel more clear coming out of it.
I don't know we can tackle any major problems or anything.
(17:27):
I'm just clear.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
You know, the touchtone that you need that you depend on.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
I always felt clear, whether I got advice or not.
I always felt clear because it was off my chest.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Correct.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
Yeah, I just like black, which is really what they
don't get judged. It's just yeah, it's psychological matter.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Therapy is really I mean, because sometimes what you're doing
is you're actually hearing what you're saying versus it being
just silent in your mind. And it's weird how verbalizing
can suddenly start to work something or give you a perspective.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Gives you, it gives it life. And with someone else
who can help, and their job is to not is
not to tell you what you should do, it's to
help you get to a place. They're literally just guiding you.
You're doing the work, yes, but you need the guide.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
So I wanted to share that. We didn't want it
to be too heavy of a podcast. It's almost serious,
more serious than you know, than we get, but you know,
an important share. So, you know, shout out to therapist,
Thank you for all that you do. Thank you for
investing what you do in your training and the extra
education that you get in licensing to do what you do.
You make a big difference, and you know, and Taylor's
(18:32):
going to need it, joining the ranks.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Speaking of Taylor, I know she likes to listen to
these podcasts.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
She might be listening and when we talk.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
About therapy and stuff like that, we get we always
get a feed, some kind of feed. So yeah, I
want to know what she has to say about this one.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Like I got news for you. She's ready to do
another podcast with us if anytime soon. Her school schedule
keeps her very very busy, but she does love to
talk mental health, so we'll do that one again soon.
Subscribe to the Murphy, Salm and Jody podcast free and
Zie
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Clifford Show
The Clifford Show with Clifford Taylor IV blends humor, culture, and behind-the-scenes sports talk with real conversations featuring athletes, creators, and personalities—spotlighting the grind, the growth, and the opportunities shaping the next generation of sports and culture.