After the Show: Candice's Most Important List Item

Jodi shares something very important that Candice left off her list the first time.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The after the show podcast today the final one of
the week, guys, and we had so we had so
much fun this week thrift Shop Finds and Garad Cell
Finds and Brownie Week, all these delicious recipes. But really
a favorite of mine was that we visited earlier than
in the week with my cousin Canvas. Yeah, she even
did an after the show podcast with us. She ah

(00:20):
the try because she did. She gave us her list.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
She's she's well, she's not actively looking for somebody, but
she isoris right exactly and is kind of doing that
whole clarifying what is it that I really want in
my life.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
I liked her list too, because it's it's organized, you know,
where mine was just a list of things. Hers is
organized into three main headings and then their subaddings heddings,
and then there's.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Three things that she really wants Number one respect number
two partnership, and number three companionship. And she defined clearly
what those things mean to her, meaning what parts of
those matter most, you know, And it was really it's
a really intelligent list, and she was telling me the
reason she wanted to share it in the first place

(01:02):
is it ended up being really good for her, therapeutic
for her. Not only does she know what is you know,
a deal breaker for her and not now, but it
was just good for her. This is who I am,
you know what I mean as opposed to And she
and I had this conversation too on the phone one
night this week. You don't when you're young and she

(01:22):
you know, met her former when she was very young,
and you fall in love with somebody you don't know
what you want and don't want yet, you just know
you want to be with somebody and you're just in
love and you're swept up in the emotion. That's why
so many first loves Oftentimes there's real love there. But
then you find out who you are and you're in
that war with yourself about you know, do I love

(01:44):
this person? To put this person before me because they
don't want what I want.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
I have a number of friends who I mean, they
were high school sweethearts and they're still together today and.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
They're that's incredible too.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
It absolutely is possible. I guess it just depends on
the person and where you are and timeline. But you
know what what you're talking about, you know, Candace, you
know kind of coming through and you have to get
through the whole. Okay, what am I going to do next?
And then you have that moment of clarity, which is
what she had by putting all this to what.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
I don't believe you ever stopped loving somebody. I believe
you just change and you're not in that relationship anymore unless.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
You're George Jones.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
That's true.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
He stopped loving her today.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (02:26):
Yeah, it's because he died. I love that song. Okay, listen, listen, listen.
The reason I bring it back up is for Candas's sake.
After she did the after the show podcast with us
and we visited and we talked about all the things,
she was like, oh my gosh, I forgot I left
out the most important thing, and she said, she left out.
What you ended up putting at the top of your list,
sam as well, is that her kids come first. Anybody

(02:48):
she dates will need to know that. And she brings
something special to the table, and that she has two children,
one of them is a child with special needs. Her
name is Hope. And you know, somebody is really going
to have to Uh, that's a ramp up of learning
what that life is like. It's not what any of
us can imagine. I can tell you Candice can't go

(03:08):
anywhere without extra thought. I mean, to the store, to
the mailbox, on a trip, without extra thought for Hope
her you know, her name is Hope.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
Or even in the room while everybody's kind of visiting too,
because you know, get gets older, somebody's always got to be,
you know, monitoring and paying attention, right, It's true.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
And so she said she had a regret that we
didn't go there, you know, and.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
I said, that's okay. Sam covered it.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
No, not for her, she didn't cover it, but yeah,
it was funny. Is that if I were in that
single world, Sam, it would be highly suspect to me
to date someone who has children for the children not
to be a big factor in the list, right, Like
that would tell me if if your children weren't on
the list like that, you don't get to meet them

(03:55):
right away they come, you know first, that would tell
me a lot like that would be a big red flag.

Speaker 3 (04:02):
And you know, speaking from personal experience, the last relationship
I had, it's you know, I have kids, but also
that person brings their kids. So you've got two people
who want their kids to come first that have to
find a way, not just one set of kids. It's
like two sets of kids, and then everything else has
to work together.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
Right, that's a whole dynamic that I have a lot
of friends who are in that situation, a blended family.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yeah, and so that's another reason that it's really good
to kind of have that stuff. If you really thought
about put it in a list, right, then it's kind
of forefront and it's a discussion that you can have
doesn't catch anybody by surprise, right.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Yeah, or you just hold on to it yourself. I
don't think you break out your list at your first date,
you know.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
Nor.

Speaker 3 (04:46):
The date seems to be going. Well, look, I have
a list here, I'd like you to go over anyway.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
Now, what about some of the other the other sub
list things like you know, who's going to take out
the trash?

Speaker 1 (04:56):
We can make that list now if you want, Murphy,
I'm down for that. Missed any part of the show
All at Murphy Salmon Jody dot com.