September 21, 2018 • 9 mins
Why Murphy & Jodi’s daughter doesn’t want to ride with Jodi – much at all. Sorry Mom!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You found it. It's Murphy Samon Jody after the show,
something that we do exclusively here on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
You know what.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
One of my plans for the weekend is, of course, Taylor,
our youngest. She I'm sorry, she's our oldest. Sorry, Taylor,
mommy's tired this week. She's learning to drive. And you
ride with her more than I do, Murphy. You ride
with her almost every day.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Yeah, I do, and she's doing great. I'm really proud
of her, you know, it's the only way to do that.
It finally hit me about and I just I guess
I should have flashed back to my own driving time
that there are two things that you're learning when you
first get into a car. You're having to learn how
to control the vehicle, and then there's the whole everything
around you. Yeah and so and no wonder. It's so
stressful and crazy because you can't really do both of those.
(00:44):
But the more that you learn to control of the car,
the easier it is to then focus all of the
attention that you absolutely need to on everything around you.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Right when the car handling of a vehicle is not
is not something you are used to, there's no way
to get used to it except to just do it,
and so you ride with her almost every day. I'm
about to up my game and my ride time because
I just know that I need to. I do feel
that she would much rather ride with you than me,
which hurts my.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Feelings a little bit. But then again I understand. Well, yeah,
I mean you though, are that drive passenger.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Taylor even talked about that. It's just it's a control
thing for Jodi. When Jody's in the passenger seat, she
has imaginary steering wheels and brakes, and it is always
reaching for stuff the dashboard or whatever. And even Taylor's like, yeah,
mom holds onto that handle over your head a lot. Dad,
I'm like, yeah, well.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Don't you gotta say. I don't worry. She does it foreverything.
That's right.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
She does it to me, she does it to anybody
that she rides with.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
It's yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
But what's funny is that I'm so glad we've decided
to take our time with it, meaning she has her
permit and we're going to ride with her for as
as long as we can, you know, until we feel
more comfortable. Because I know that there are parents who
do the opposite. Everybody handles this differently. She had a friend.
Taylor had a friend last year that got her license
(02:04):
and got a car, and the parents just let her
go like she's gonna learn, Like they really learn the
hard way now. And I know she took a driving course,
so I don't know how great of a driver she
was when she first was given her car and said
go drive, here's your GPS, here's how to get home,
call me meanings time me have a problem. But she
was driving brand new a lot sooner than I would
(02:26):
have been comfortable with. So you know, there's a lot
of different ways to approach it.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Well, look, even once Taylor becomes great at it, I'm
still going to be petrified. Oh yeah, the daddy control
freak part of me is going to go. Okay, I'm
really worried when she's on her own, and it's not
her that I'll be worried about. It's you know, everybody
body else, which is the way that I've explained it
to her. You know, it's just in realize, you know,
everybody is not an idiot, they're just.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Pre what Daddy says, Yeah, we got to unteach.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
That they might be a preoccupy preoccupied or rush could
be an emergency, that could lost in family, it could
be anything. You never know. There's a lot of distraction
on the road, you know. One of them, unfortunately, is
like smartphones and stuff, you know. But anyway, so all
of that really worries me. In fact, this is as
I was picking her up from school, Jody, you know,
which is where we do some of the some of
the driving, turning the corner. There was a big accident
(03:14):
five cars right there, you know, just yesterday, and it
involved a student, you know, and it was a banged up,
you know situation.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
And it's funny that you say that, because yesterday I
am driving home and guess what I see is an
accident with her exact kind of car. And I saw
that car being loaded up onto a what do you
call it a truck, a tow truck, And I'm like,
that looks like Taylor's car, you know. And I know
it's not, because I had just talked to her and
(03:42):
I knew she was at home and nobody was driving
her car. But just seeing that did not feel great.
She just did not feel great. So it's such it's
such a painful thing, you know. But for instance, I
also like today I'm thinking of picking her up from
school in her car, letting her drive me home, and
one day earlier in the week she said, yeah, I'm
(04:03):
tired after school. I don't think I want to drive.
It's kind of like, scratch that plan. We're all no,
but we all have to drive sometimes when we'd rather
not drive. It is part of it. And she knows
that we had that conversation, so.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
It's easy to say that when you're in the passenger
seat one, you know she'll be alert by the time
that change.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
And you know, for a seventeen year old who has that,
you know, ability to go drive as often as she wants,
I'm super surprised that she doesn't want to drive more.
There are a lot of times she's like, no, just
drop me off, and I just it's kind of like
to me, it's like, wait, you know you need to
do this. You know it would be easier for us
to drop you off, but you need to drive to
(04:42):
work and back kind of a thing.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Yeah, the experience part is really important. I wanted to
tell a story. I realized I hadn't brought this up.
We were talking about driving conversations. When I first started driving.
I went through driver's education class and then I started
driving with an instruction And it's funny because my parents
are very defensive drivers, very you know, taught me how
(05:05):
to use the horn aggressively. It's honestly, I think it's
one of the best, most unused tools of the road.
People often use it for road rage situations, but you
can easily use it to prevent accidents. You see that
an accident's about to occur, use your horn.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
They spend some time in Manhattan, it's all you'll hear.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
It, and it makes people aggressive and angry. That's the
bad part of it. But it really is a good tool.
But anyway, I'm sidetracking now.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
It's a good point.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
I had a good driving background. I took the test.
I actually, you know, aced all the driving tests perfect marks.
I got in with an instructor and the mechanics of
driving a car. My instructor told me that I was
quote the worst driver.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
He had ever driven.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
What, yeah, I know, and I expected. I expected he
wasn't a very nice person. But at the same time, like, no,
I wasn't a very good driver, Like the truth was
not that far off, like which.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Just didn't come naturally to you.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
I understood the rules but like it was hard for
me to keep track of how fast I was going,
you know, how hard to put my foot on the pedal,
you know, trying to keep alert of traffic and where
everyone was coming from, trying to gauge how fast were
they going, how fast was I going? Can I beat them?
Can I not beat them? You know, thoughts that honestly,
I probably wouldn't have. Now it's like, well, you know,
(06:25):
you're not trying to beat them, You're trying to play
it safe. But there's different you know, it's a different
mindset when you're first getting into it. You're just trying
to keep the car going and trying to make sure
that everyone around you is not you know, angry because
you're not doing a good job of driving, which of
course I wasn't. I got in with another instructor after
I had some road time and you know, got used
(06:45):
to it, and I was like, am I a bad driver?
And she was like, no, you're you're okay, Like you're
not the best driver I've ever seen. But true, after
a little bit of time, second opinion, you know, I
wasn't the worst driver, But experience is the most important thing.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Is I don't know how any Driver's ED teacher does it, honestly,
because they experience the same thing. Just when you have
somebody you know they're graduating from Driver's ED and they're
doing all the right things, you're going to start from
scratch all around with somebody who's a high risk driver
on the road.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
That's true for any teacher. And I think there are
people who are probably really great. My uncle, who's a
former police officer, is a great driving instructor. And Taylor
has not spent any time with him yet. We haven't
been able to make that work out yet, and I
really want that because I know he has encountered just
about every kind of student driver or any any kind
(07:42):
of student, you know. And once the teacher gets to
know the student and knows how they react, that's the
sign of a good teacher to say, well, let me
explain it this way. You know, I explain things differently
to Taylor than you do, Murph. And I had trouble
articulating when she's trying to back out of the driveway
at our house. She has to kind of turn around
and get straightened up first because of a gate area. Yeah,
(08:04):
and I cannot articulate what I mean by straighten up here.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
You know.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
It's it's like I can't articulate it. Someone else can't.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Well, but she's since I've been spending most of the
time with Taylor, she actually understands that now that it's
about aligning lining the car up, that she has to
put it in line. She stops, is, am, I am,
I you know, perpendicular to the gate. Yeah, that's right,
because you don't want to be parallel. Yeah, you know,
and then and then you know, back straight out because
she's in a straight line. But what I'm realizing now
(08:32):
that gets easier once they've been driving. No amount of
explaining works until they become truly comfortable with the car.
Then the teaching part gets a little bit easier. And
my nerves are a little bit better than were from
the very beginning.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Knowing how to do something does not mean you know
how to articulate and teach it, you know, so thank goodness,
I don't I feel like now that the next time
we get there at that gate, I'm not going to
even try to articulate.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
I'm just gonna let her do use the word perpendicular.
I know she knows how to do.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Yeah, well, I mean you still might need to use
the word wait, stop, hold on, missed any part of
the show.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Get it All at Murphy Salmon, Jody dot com, dot
com
You found it. It's Murphy Samon Jody after the show,
something that we do exclusively here on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
You know what.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
One of my plans for the weekend is, of course, Taylor,
our youngest. She I'm sorry, she's our oldest. Sorry, Taylor,
mommy's tired this week. She's learning to drive. And you
ride with her more than I do, Murphy. You ride
with her almost every day.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Yeah, I do, and she's doing great. I'm really proud
of her, you know, it's the only way to do that.
It finally hit me about and I just I guess
I should have flashed back to my own driving time
that there are two things that you're learning when you
first get into a car. You're having to learn how
to control the vehicle, and then there's the whole everything
around you. Yeah and so and no wonder. It's so
stressful and crazy because you can't really do both of those.
(00:44):
But the more that you learn to control of the car,
the easier it is to then focus all of the
attention that you absolutely need to on everything around you.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Right when the car handling of a vehicle is not
is not something you are used to, there's no way
to get used to it except to just do it,
and so you ride with her almost every day. I'm
about to up my game and my ride time because
I just know that I need to. I do feel
that she would much rather ride with you than me,
which hurts my.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Feelings a little bit. But then again I understand. Well, yeah,
I mean you though, are that drive passenger.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Taylor even talked about that. It's just it's a control
thing for Jodi. When Jody's in the passenger seat, she
has imaginary steering wheels and brakes, and it is always
reaching for stuff the dashboard or whatever. And even Taylor's like, yeah,
mom holds onto that handle over your head a lot. Dad,
I'm like, yeah, well.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Don't you gotta say. I don't worry. She does it foreverything.
That's right.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
She does it to me, she does it to anybody
that she rides with.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
It's yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
But what's funny is that I'm so glad we've decided
to take our time with it, meaning she has her
permit and we're going to ride with her for as
as long as we can, you know, until we feel
more comfortable. Because I know that there are parents who
do the opposite. Everybody handles this differently. She had a friend.
Taylor had a friend last year that got her license
(02:04):
and got a car, and the parents just let her
go like she's gonna learn, Like they really learn the
hard way now. And I know she took a driving course,
so I don't know how great of a driver she
was when she first was given her car and said
go drive, here's your GPS, here's how to get home,
call me meanings time me have a problem. But she
was driving brand new a lot sooner than I would
(02:26):
have been comfortable with. So you know, there's a lot
of different ways to approach it.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Well, look, even once Taylor becomes great at it, I'm
still going to be petrified. Oh yeah, the daddy control
freak part of me is going to go. Okay, I'm
really worried when she's on her own, and it's not
her that I'll be worried about. It's you know, everybody
body else, which is the way that I've explained it
to her. You know, it's just in realize, you know,
everybody is not an idiot, they're just.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Pre what Daddy says, Yeah, we got to unteach.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
That they might be a preoccupy preoccupied or rush could
be an emergency, that could lost in family, it could
be anything. You never know. There's a lot of distraction
on the road, you know. One of them, unfortunately, is
like smartphones and stuff, you know. But anyway, so all
of that really worries me. In fact, this is as
I was picking her up from school, Jody, you know,
which is where we do some of the some of
the driving, turning the corner. There was a big accident
(03:14):
five cars right there, you know, just yesterday, and it
involved a student, you know, and it was a banged up,
you know situation.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
And it's funny that you say that, because yesterday I
am driving home and guess what I see is an
accident with her exact kind of car. And I saw
that car being loaded up onto a what do you
call it a truck, a tow truck, And I'm like,
that looks like Taylor's car, you know. And I know
it's not, because I had just talked to her and
(03:42):
I knew she was at home and nobody was driving
her car. But just seeing that did not feel great.
She just did not feel great. So it's such it's
such a painful thing, you know. But for instance, I
also like today I'm thinking of picking her up from
school in her car, letting her drive me home, and
one day earlier in the week she said, yeah, I'm
(04:03):
tired after school. I don't think I want to drive.
It's kind of like, scratch that plan. We're all no,
but we all have to drive sometimes when we'd rather
not drive. It is part of it. And she knows
that we had that conversation, so.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
It's easy to say that when you're in the passenger
seat one, you know she'll be alert by the time
that change.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
And you know, for a seventeen year old who has that,
you know, ability to go drive as often as she wants,
I'm super surprised that she doesn't want to drive more.
There are a lot of times she's like, no, just
drop me off, and I just it's kind of like
to me, it's like, wait, you know you need to
do this. You know it would be easier for us
to drop you off, but you need to drive to
(04:42):
work and back kind of a thing.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Yeah, the experience part is really important. I wanted to
tell a story. I realized I hadn't brought this up.
We were talking about driving conversations. When I first started driving.
I went through driver's education class and then I started
driving with an instruction And it's funny because my parents
are very defensive drivers, very you know, taught me how
(05:05):
to use the horn aggressively. It's honestly, I think it's
one of the best, most unused tools of the road.
People often use it for road rage situations, but you
can easily use it to prevent accidents. You see that
an accident's about to occur, use your horn.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
They spend some time in Manhattan, it's all you'll hear.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
It, and it makes people aggressive and angry. That's the
bad part of it. But it really is a good tool.
But anyway, I'm sidetracking now.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
It's a good point.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
I had a good driving background. I took the test.
I actually, you know, aced all the driving tests perfect marks.
I got in with an instructor and the mechanics of
driving a car. My instructor told me that I was
quote the worst driver.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
He had ever driven.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
What, yeah, I know, and I expected. I expected he
wasn't a very nice person. But at the same time, like, no,
I wasn't a very good driver, Like the truth was
not that far off, like which.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Just didn't come naturally to you.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
I understood the rules but like it was hard for
me to keep track of how fast I was going,
you know, how hard to put my foot on the pedal,
you know, trying to keep alert of traffic and where
everyone was coming from, trying to gauge how fast were
they going, how fast was I going? Can I beat them?
Can I not beat them? You know, thoughts that honestly,
I probably wouldn't have. Now it's like, well, you know,
(06:25):
you're not trying to beat them, You're trying to play
it safe. But there's different you know, it's a different
mindset when you're first getting into it. You're just trying
to keep the car going and trying to make sure
that everyone around you is not you know, angry because
you're not doing a good job of driving, which of
course I wasn't. I got in with another instructor after
I had some road time and you know, got used
(06:45):
to it, and I was like, am I a bad driver?
And she was like, no, you're you're okay, Like you're
not the best driver I've ever seen. But true, after
a little bit of time, second opinion, you know, I
wasn't the worst driver, But experience is the most important thing.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Is I don't know how any Driver's ED teacher does it, honestly,
because they experience the same thing. Just when you have
somebody you know they're graduating from Driver's ED and they're
doing all the right things, you're going to start from
scratch all around with somebody who's a high risk driver
on the road.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
That's true for any teacher. And I think there are
people who are probably really great. My uncle, who's a
former police officer, is a great driving instructor. And Taylor
has not spent any time with him yet. We haven't
been able to make that work out yet, and I
really want that because I know he has encountered just
about every kind of student driver or any any kind
(07:42):
of student, you know. And once the teacher gets to
know the student and knows how they react, that's the
sign of a good teacher to say, well, let me
explain it this way. You know, I explain things differently
to Taylor than you do, Murph. And I had trouble
articulating when she's trying to back out of the driveway
at our house. She has to kind of turn around
and get straightened up first because of a gate area. Yeah,
(08:04):
and I cannot articulate what I mean by straighten up here.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
You know.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
It's it's like I can't articulate it. Someone else can't.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Well, but she's since I've been spending most of the
time with Taylor, she actually understands that now that it's
about aligning lining the car up, that she has to
put it in line. She stops, is, am, I am,
I you know, perpendicular to the gate. Yeah, that's right,
because you don't want to be parallel. Yeah, you know,
and then and then you know, back straight out because
she's in a straight line. But what I'm realizing now
(08:32):
that gets easier once they've been driving. No amount of
explaining works until they become truly comfortable with the car.
Then the teaching part gets a little bit easier. And
my nerves are a little bit better than were from
the very beginning.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Knowing how to do something does not mean you know
how to articulate and teach it, you know, so thank goodness,
I don't I feel like now that the next time
we get there at that gate, I'm not going to
even try to articulate.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
I'm just gonna let her do use the word perpendicular.
I know she knows how to do.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Yeah, well, I mean you still might need to use
the word wait, stop, hold on, missed any part of
the show.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Get it All at Murphy Salmon, Jody dot com, dot
com
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