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October 2, 2025 12 mins

Murphy's grandmother, Heidi, has mental health advice for you today. #family #mentalhealth

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Murphy Salmon Joni after the Show podcast.
And you know, when you hear someone's voice that you
loved who's passed away, it takes your breath away. When
if you're lucky enough to still have sound from you know,
that person or record away. Most of us do. It's voicemail,
it's you know, recordings, it's everything that we do on
our smartphones. Nine times out of ten, you're going to
have some sound, right, yeah, And that's what I have

(00:25):
that I'm about to share with you here in a minute.
But what makes this very different. My grandmother was eighty
nine years old and I wanted to record her. I
wanted her to tell stories, and she lived to be
ninety seven, so she lived in another eight years. I
was a little I was a few years too late
with this because as we go longer in the recordings

(00:46):
and the piece I'm a play, she's totally fine in
but she couldn't remember some of her stories and those
kinds of things. But I'm glad that I captured that
at the time, because not only did she tell her stories,
but this was recorded in two thousand and two, and
so our oldest daughter, Taylor Jodie is, you know, a
baby at this point, and she I'm asking Heidi her

(01:11):
guidance for Taylor, who is now twenty twenty four to
twenty four now, right, And it's really that's what really
blows me away listening to this personally because of what
she says and her advice. So, my grandmother passed in
January of twenty eleven. Like I said, she was ninety
seven years old at that time. This is somebody who

(01:32):
was the epicenter of our family long after my grandfather
passed away, and just was really an important maternal figure
you know in my life. Sam, you met her, you
know she was spunky. I mean she was a she
was in fact, I mean she was eighty seven years
old when me and Sam and Jody were on location
broadcasting one day one morning one morning, and she heard

(01:53):
us and wanted to come out and have coffee with us.
And you know what, she showed up.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
She got her Cadillac, she put a dress on, and
she came out.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
Yeah, and we put her on the radio like hello darling. Right,
but this is I'm going to play you this excerpt.
We're sitting in her living room. This is December of
two thousand and two. And here you go. If Taylor
were twenty, you know, twenty years old right now, and
you were, you know, to have a conversation with her

(02:20):
about the things that's me by the way my voice
a little different for her life, or.

Speaker 3 (02:23):
Advice that you would give the most important thing that
I could tell Taylor, And I would love to be
able to be here to tell her that, just to
be kind and sweet and gentle and always know that
God will never ask her to do anything that she
can't do. Just do it because you love doing it.
Taylor's gonna be a precious little angel for you. And

(02:45):
you've always told me to pay attention everything. This is
what I this is.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
Life does go fast.

Speaker 3 (02:50):
That's exactly what I can. I can still say that
the days go by so fast, Johnny, and so much
happens that you're not aware of if you don't stop
and take the time to listen. Taylor learned that though
from you and Jody, You and Jody are good parents.
Y'all both have patience, and y'all both know how to

(03:10):
uh regulate your time and everything. Taylor will learn that
just just don't let a minute go by that you
don't remember something. Johnny, go and sing.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
I'm sure you will be around it to give her advice.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
Oh, I'm ill, i'm'a be here for a long time.
I'm not ready to go yet, even though I am
eighty nine. Yeah, for the reasons, but yes, just be
loving and giving. Just just make Taylor just well you You,
You and Jody are good examples for huh. She can't
do anything but right, I hope. So y'all are good

(03:46):
getting people, you in the work that you do. Both
of you. Taylor can't help but be the most gentle
little girl in the world.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
Mm.

Speaker 3 (03:54):
So she will, I promise you she will.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
We're gonna We're gonna do her best. So sweet and
hearing those words come back, and there are a couple
of Well, first of all, I need to explain to you,
Johnny is what my family calls me. Murphy's my nickname here,
and you know, Johnny's what my family calls me. And
so it was. I don't want to take that out
because you need to hear her in her real state.
I ad it.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
We don't added Heidi, right, But you.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Know, I just came across this recording. Our youngest daughter,
Phoebe is interested in recording the family, and that reminded me, Oh,
that's right. I did this with, you know, with my grandmother. Heidi.
Let me find those and I had forgotten the content
of any of it. And it's really weird because she
was the person in my life who was so reassuring.

(04:38):
She's one of the most positive people that I've ever met.
She was one of those that said, you can do
anything you put your mind to. I'm constantly quoting and
I just told Phoebe the other day. You know, when
when you're worried about something, she would always say the
same thing, honey, everything's going to turn out great, just great.
You'll see. That was her thing. And so her reassurances
were always really important to me, and I haven't heard

(05:00):
heard them in you know, twenty years.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
Yeah, and never do. You never get too old to
need that.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
No, So going back and hearing that again, those assurances,
that's what she was doing. Yeah, she was doing two
things in that just now. One is the advice you
should give Taylor, and number two, she's sitting there supporting
me and Jodie, you know, and just really special and sweet.
So it's it really is invaluable for you to have
sound and video and you know, something that's more than

(05:30):
just handwriting, although that's pretty sentiment to look at too.

Speaker 4 (05:32):
Also another thing at play here that's super valuable is
what you did realizing I need to talk to her.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
I need to talk to her.

Speaker 4 (05:41):
I need to ask her questions and get, you know,
some answers because she won't be here forever. And then
I'm going to wonder. You know, Phoebe is interested in
interviewing our family, and she wants to start with my mom.
And so she's got some questions and she's ready. And
she told me she was going to send them the
questions first to Nana, that Nana could think about it
and be ready for those answers. And it's a beautiful

(06:05):
thing to go ahead and talk to keep the recordings,
but it's how are you going to know If you
don't ask, there will be a time when you can't ask.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah, yeah, the questions.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
Yeah, and I missed that. Hearing her voice is really
it's really, it's special. It's reassuring to hear. And by
the time, if there was a benefit to that, my
grandmother was never afraid of a microphone anyway, there are
probably more subtle ways to do that. A smartphone is
a real easy way to do that today, but you
know that we were using a microphone for that, which
she was never afraid of. And you're pretty unfiltered by

(06:38):
the time you get to be later in life. You're
just more relaxed with things. You are who you are,
and you accept that, you know, and she was a
great deal.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
Feel like, oh, okay, well I made it.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
Yeah, well, and then she also some things that you
know from her time period. And just so you know
that if you're listening to this podcast and hearing about
my grandmother for the first time, she was one for
I would say, from the greatest generation. You know. She
was born in nineteen thirteen and so she passed in
twenty eleven. So she and my grandfather, My grandfather served
in World War Two. He was a colonel. He was

(07:10):
that generally my dad was a baby boomer, you know.
And so that's that snapshot in time of who she was.
And so the stories that she tells about her childhood
are really incredible. Growing up in New Orleans and her
family moved her out of New Orleans to get away
from the pollution, which I guess in the early nineteen hundred. Yeah,
I guess that you know, refineries or whatever. I mean,

(07:31):
there was no but there probably no laws about how
much smoke and stuff you put in the air and so.
But she goes through that time period in her life,
and then she started to tell stories that I hadn't
heard before about when she was she was working for
a law firm and one of the partners would get
fresh with her. Honey, he was.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
Getting fresh with me. I had to quit that job.

Speaker 4 (07:56):
She had some really funny things to say to me.
When I was pregnant with Taylor for the first time,
because we were living with her. We were we had
sold our small little house and we had bought another house,
but we couldn't move into it yet, one of those
real estate things or whatever, I can't remember why, contingency
or whatever. So we packed a bunch of our stuff
in a storage facility and we moved in with Heidi,

(08:16):
and we were staying upstairs in that house. And the
staircase that your grandfather built, he built the whole house.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
The staircase was that spiral, well, like.

Speaker 1 (08:27):
A spiral, you didn't circle completing the spirals, stircase up
and curve, and it was made out a big curve
it made was made out of pipes.

Speaker 4 (08:35):
When you walked in the house, you couldn't help. But
notice the staircase was the star of the show. Well,
I was very big, pregnant, like do uh soon, and
so managing a staircase when you have zero gravity like uh,
what do you call it balance? And your center of
center of gravity is way off? It made me very nervous.

(08:56):
I actually did fall down a couple times when I
was pregnant with Taylor because I was not used to
being that way, and so always scared me when that.
And she was the same way about the staircase. She goes, Honey,
I just want you to be careful on that staircase.
It doesn't matter if you're late. Come go down them slow.
And she said, I want to teach you a little trick.
She says, just count the steps, Jody, because I count
the steps. You know, if I've had a little glass

(09:17):
of wine and I need to come down the stairs,
I'll just count the steps. Now that she drank a lot,
she would drink one glass of wine or something like that.
But and she taught me I think I think it
was thirteen steps. I remember that because it was thirteen
steps yeah, and so you can't see your feet right now,
you need to count. She told me that.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah. Yeah, And she was able to go up and
down those stairs until probably her early nineties. Then we
had to move her downstairs. It was, you know dimension,
that's all of that began to settle in in her
mid nineties. But I mean she was she was in
charge all of her four foot eleven that she was. Yeah,

(09:55):
it was just you know, she ruled the roost and
was just really just iconic to me. I guess everybody
feels their grandparents, you know, if you have them and
they're around for you to be able to enjoy, they
just they are iconic. A grandparent is like a superhero comparison.
And you were lucky because she lived into your adulthood. Yes,
it wasn't one of those things where you were seven

(10:15):
or eight, Yeah, passed away and you never really knew grandma.

Speaker 4 (10:18):
Grandparents are treasures in our lives if we're lucky enough
to have them, because you usually don't have them into adulthood,
no a lot of time at all.

Speaker 1 (10:27):
In fact, my other three grandparents, I was, I lost
them before I was ten, so I really didn't you know,
know my mother's mother and actually my grandfathers. Both of
my grandfathers died within three months of each other when
I was ten years old, so I didn't That's why
Heidi became such an important part of literally every family

(10:47):
vacation for every year that she was still able to
make it with us. And she did it for a
long time. I mean she outlived her husband by thirty
two years. And so yeah, I don't take that were granted.
It's really special that we had heard that long.

Speaker 4 (11:03):
Yeah, you know, record the conversations or just keep the
save the voicemails, because can only imagine what the sound,
I mean, her voice touched us all, but we know
that it meant something extra special to you.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
Johnny Well.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
And by contrast, just so you know, speaking of my grandfather,
I have one existing piece of sound that I'm aware
of from him, and it's difficult to hear, but you
can hear him. In nineteen seventy seven, they recorded on
like a sette the Christmas you know, gathering at the
house because my uncle Guy and Aunt Bobby were out
of the country and it was.

Speaker 2 (11:35):
The first Christad to them.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
Yeah, it was, you know, that was the first one
that everybody couldn't be together, so she wanted they wanted
to send the recording to them. What's interesting is, I
don't know if the recording never made it to them.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
We found the tapes.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
Yeah, after my grand you know, mother passed and all that,
I found those tapes and so I put one of
them in and it's literally the first time because again
I didn't remember my grandfather's voice. And when I heard that,
it's like, oh wow, it came right back to me.
And so don't underestimate the value if even if you're
shy and you don't want to be recorded by electric kids,

(12:08):
you know, or you know, family members record a story
or a conversation, it's going to mean something to somebody.

Speaker 4 (12:13):
You may not like the way you sound, but they
they want to hear you.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
Yeah, you should let your kids interview you, Sam, I'm
open to it. No one's asked, well, maybe they'll hear
this podcast.

Speaker 4 (12:26):
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