October 2, 2017 • 4 mins
Every couple has their fights, but if you must fight....fight fair.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the after the show podcast where we hang
around a little bit longer and go a little bit
more in depth of you know, things we were chatting
about show Casey called this morning. When Casey called this
morning and told her rule for a fight, an argument, relationship,
you know fighting fair rules. One of her rules is
(00:22):
you have seven days to cover something if you haven't disagreement.
She said this was in her married life before, this
is true in her single life. With relationships, if you're
upset about something or something has occurred, you have seven days.
After seven days, you can't bring it back up. You
can bring it up as much as you want to.
When the seven I think that's kind.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Of cool, you know interesting. An attorney might call that
a due diligence period right.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
With the official title.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
The reason I love that is because I think it's
human nature, especially when you're in a close relationship and
emotions are in it, that you're going to have a
tendency if a similar problem come up again, or you
get really mad and the emotion dredges up all that
old stuff. If you're not careful, you'll sling it out.
Thank you, to really help anybody.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Sometimes things feel connected. Sometimes things feel like again, we're
having this discussion again. You're not supposed to bring things
from the past, and we all know that, but when
you feel like you're doing something again, I will tell
you this, Murphy, you might appreciate this.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
You were a blank blank back then and today you're
continuing to be one now, Murphy, you might appreciate this.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
My ex used to say to me. It used to
make me so mad. He'd ask me, how long are
you going to be mad about this? He would say
that watch when you know he was actually you know,
he wasn't being ugly, he was he was over whatever
it was. How long are you to be He was
more lighthearted about it. He was picking at me, going,
(01:52):
so how long are you going to be mad about this?
You know what I mean? I'm not going to even
come back to you until you tell me you're done
with this.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Well, I mean, I think I probably have asked you
that same question over the years now, because we're coming
up on eighteen years of marriage.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
And I don't remember you asking me that way, or
that would have been a weird deja vous. But no,
But and you know, discussing the whole when something hurts me,
when I'm very upset about something. You know, this is true,
not just with you and me and arguing, But when
something big happens, let's just say, something big in my life,
dramatic or worrisome, it takes me a while to digest it.
(02:28):
It takes me a while to think.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Maybe I'm slow emotionally, I don't know. But so that's
why it seems. I think that I want to let
go of stuff. I want to be happy and lighthearted,
but when something bad happens, it feels like I hang on.
But I feel like maybe I'm just protecting.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I think that's what I don't think you're slow with it.
I think you're just you know, that's a defense. That's
just an naturally human defense, right. And I mean I
think I've done much share of holding onto things too,
you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
What about you, Sam?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
One thing happens to me one time fifteen years ago,
and it's still reality, you know.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Yeah, yeah, I can confess that I've been guilty of
holding on to things.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
And do you bring them back up or in the
past with your relationships? Did you? No?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I think I always just kept scoring my head. Oh,
it's just not a good thing and not to denalize it.
That's healthy. Now, I'm not going to say anything about this,
but I remember.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
When you like all the things that you're not supposed
to do in a relationship, you know there's a reason
that those things are on the list, because it's almost
like it's human nature. Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (03:31):
What do you think when Casey said those seven days?
You don't think that's too long of a time?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
No, what if it's something serious? What if it's something
that's so scary and hurtful to you that you need
a few I don't think it's too much time. I
don't think that that doesn't mean somebody's gonna bring it
up for seven straight days, Yes, you will.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
It really, it does vary on what happened. If it's
about not taking the trash out, if you're going seven
days with that.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Yeah, issues. I don't know if it is this way
from men, but for women, I can tell you when
something happens that's really upsetting, it's not just about that
one incident. It's about is this who this person is?
Is this what my life is going to be like?
Women make it bigger in their brains and hearts.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I think guy but I think guys are guilty of
making it pretty big too.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
You know, no, no, you know I've seen personally with
you and Jody Murphy. There are times when I know,
two or three days later, Jody's still hanging on to
what y'all are arguing.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Hey, baby, you want to watch Narcos?
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Yeah, And I'm like, wow, No matter what you try,
it's like this is not working. Just shut up.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
No luncht again today?
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Okay myself right, so true.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Missed any part of the show. All at Murphy, Sam
and Jody dot com
This is the after the show podcast where we hang
around a little bit longer and go a little bit
more in depth of you know, things we were chatting
about show Casey called this morning. When Casey called this
morning and told her rule for a fight, an argument, relationship,
you know fighting fair rules. One of her rules is
(00:22):
you have seven days to cover something if you haven't disagreement.
She said this was in her married life before, this
is true in her single life. With relationships, if you're
upset about something or something has occurred, you have seven days.
After seven days, you can't bring it back up. You
can bring it up as much as you want to.
When the seven I think that's kind.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Of cool, you know interesting. An attorney might call that
a due diligence period right.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
With the official title.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
The reason I love that is because I think it's
human nature, especially when you're in a close relationship and
emotions are in it, that you're going to have a
tendency if a similar problem come up again, or you
get really mad and the emotion dredges up all that
old stuff. If you're not careful, you'll sling it out.
Thank you, to really help anybody.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Sometimes things feel connected. Sometimes things feel like again, we're
having this discussion again. You're not supposed to bring things
from the past, and we all know that, but when
you feel like you're doing something again, I will tell
you this, Murphy, you might appreciate this.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
You were a blank blank back then and today you're
continuing to be one now, Murphy, you might appreciate this.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
My ex used to say to me. It used to
make me so mad. He'd ask me, how long are
you going to be mad about this? He would say
that watch when you know he was actually you know,
he wasn't being ugly, he was he was over whatever
it was. How long are you to be He was
more lighthearted about it. He was picking at me, going,
(01:52):
so how long are you going to be mad about this?
You know what I mean? I'm not going to even
come back to you until you tell me you're done
with this.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Well, I mean, I think I probably have asked you
that same question over the years now, because we're coming
up on eighteen years of marriage.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
And I don't remember you asking me that way, or
that would have been a weird deja vous. But no,
But and you know, discussing the whole when something hurts me,
when I'm very upset about something. You know, this is true,
not just with you and me and arguing, But when
something big happens, let's just say, something big in my life,
dramatic or worrisome, it takes me a while to digest it.
(02:28):
It takes me a while to think.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Maybe I'm slow emotionally, I don't know. But so that's
why it seems. I think that I want to let
go of stuff. I want to be happy and lighthearted,
but when something bad happens, it feels like I hang on.
But I feel like maybe I'm just protecting.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I think that's what I don't think you're slow with it.
I think you're just you know, that's a defense. That's
just an naturally human defense, right. And I mean I
think I've done much share of holding onto things too,
you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
What about you, Sam?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
One thing happens to me one time fifteen years ago,
and it's still reality, you know.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Yeah, yeah, I can confess that I've been guilty of
holding on to things.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
And do you bring them back up or in the
past with your relationships? Did you? No?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I think I always just kept scoring my head. Oh,
it's just not a good thing and not to denalize it.
That's healthy. Now, I'm not going to say anything about this,
but I remember.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
When you like all the things that you're not supposed
to do in a relationship, you know there's a reason
that those things are on the list, because it's almost
like it's human nature. Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (03:31):
What do you think when Casey said those seven days?
You don't think that's too long of a time?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
No, what if it's something serious? What if it's something
that's so scary and hurtful to you that you need
a few I don't think it's too much time. I
don't think that that doesn't mean somebody's gonna bring it
up for seven straight days, Yes, you will.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
It really, it does vary on what happened. If it's
about not taking the trash out, if you're going seven
days with that.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Yeah, issues. I don't know if it is this way
from men, but for women, I can tell you when
something happens that's really upsetting, it's not just about that
one incident. It's about is this who this person is?
Is this what my life is going to be like?
Women make it bigger in their brains and hearts.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
I think guy but I think guys are guilty of
making it pretty big too.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
You know, no, no, you know I've seen personally with
you and Jody Murphy. There are times when I know,
two or three days later, Jody's still hanging on to
what y'all are arguing.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Hey, baby, you want to watch Narcos?
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Yeah, And I'm like, wow, No matter what you try,
it's like this is not working. Just shut up.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
No luncht again today?
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Okay myself right, so true.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Missed any part of the show. All at Murphy, Sam
and Jody dot com
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