March 10, 2026 • 17 mins
Be a better flirt! And who's the best among these 3? #single #relationship #flirt
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Murphy Sam and Jody after the show podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
So from the show today, how to Flirt Better? Sam,
you said you don't think you have any flirting game.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
No, yeah, correct, I've been told I am flirtatious. Bye exes.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Oh, someone you're in a relationship with, she always had
the tendency, We'll always have the tendency to think that
you're a flirt with that.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Is that what it is? Your exis thought you were
flirting with other people? Is that what you mean by that?
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Yeah? I guess, so, I guess I had to be
with other people, not flirting with them. Okay, But it's
if it is, if it does exist, it's completely unconscious. Sure, yeah,
it's unintentional.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
I believe you.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I believe you sometimes funny people. You are naturally a
funny person. You try to make everybody laugh. It's just
who you are. It's what you bring to the room,
to the conversation.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
And so.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
But if you've, in the presence of an ex, made
another female laugh in her mind, you're flirting. Yeah, yeah, okay,
that's what happened there. So, did you guys feel like
you learned anything in the show today about how to
be a better flirt.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
We touched on a few things.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
The reason I bring it back up in this after
the show podcast is we we left out one thing
that I think is super important that I want to
get to.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
But do you feel like you learned anything?
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I mean, well, I mean you and I are married,
and you will accuse me of actually flirting with you,
which is really funny.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
To be honest with you, because with me, and it's fun.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
But I mean at home, excuse me, that's what I mean,
that's what I do. But a lot of times just
just having fun.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
I'm saying, did you learn anything in the podcast today
that you had if you were single? Would you have
thought found that information beneficial about leaning into your strengths
like Sam, into the.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Warmth, Yeah, and being yourself and just who you are? Yeah,
I mean to me, that's yeah, that's to me, what
it is that that the magic of almost anything is authenticity. Right.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
Yes, that's we're going to get to that. We're going
to get to that.
Speaker 5 (01:55):
But you learned Sam, Yeah, it's it's to rely on
the hum right, because it's you naturally have to get
I get nervous in those situations anxiety, So to rely
on the humor is a way for me to vent it.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Out or to to tackle it.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Have you ever thought about just being honest I'm nervous
and saying I'm nervous. No, I think that's beautiful too,
sometimes honesty and then you would be you would feeling.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Play the pity card.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
No, no, no, that won't work.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
That would not know being honest saying oh, I'm nervous,
and then continue to talk and lean into what you
naturally have. I'm not saying it's in every situation, but
I think that a woman would appreciate that if you're
really feeling that way, Because if you're feeling that way,
I think it shows.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
So you're talking about like serious flirtation where you're you're
not connected to somebody else and you actually are seeking
a relationship with that what you mean, of course? I
mean I just didn't know if you meant like, because
you know there is there is sort of like fun
flirting that doesn't really mean anything. I think it is
nat I don't even know that it's really flirting.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Sam.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
You're not actively seen anybody, so you're not really flirting.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Actually, what's funny is that when you actually met, if
you met somebody today that really lit things up for you,
that you felt a spark for. That would be hard
for you because you already are telling yourself you have
no flirting game, and that would be flirting that mattered
to you.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Yeah. Yeah, And also there's a lot of in my head,
there's a lot of negative self talk. It's like, why
we should be interested in you? Oh god, sheee has
drop dead gorgeous. He's a ten and a half.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Aw yeah, and you're.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Lucky if you're a four point three.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
Now, okay, you work on that self saw. That's a
humor right there, right, because you.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Know how many people you know how actually a lot
of your relationships have did they not begin with the
with her flirting with you?
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (03:46):
I know, yeah, we know you.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
We know your history, and you've had a lot of
your relationships usually.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Have been the beginnings have been female led.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
You are the pursued, you're not the pursuer.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
Yeah, and you're okay, well you're comfortable with that works
for me? Yeah, it does work for you.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
I will tell you that as a lot of women
do like to be pursued though.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
Yeah, so if it's.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Something you want to think, I was the pursuer I mean, yes,
you know, I haven't had to pursue in a long time,
but I've always been the pursuer. Now, the thing that
the challenging thing about being the pursuer is you just
have to be ready that sometimes it's not going to
end the way that you act, and you just don't
let that stop you.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
You got to be brave enough to know that the
rejection is a possibility. That's true for any flirtation, any
you know, trying to start a relationship or trying to
get to know somebody well enough. You had what you
had going for you with me is I was comfortable
with you. I knew how friendly you are, but you
were warm, which you are today to this day. And
(04:49):
you're a leader, and I like leaders. I want to
be pursued. I want to be led. I respect that.
And it's not that if we had met and I
had an interest in you, I wouldn't have I would
have flirted if I had to. I felt like I
had to get your attention, but I didn't.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
It was nice.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Yeah, yeah, well that's good. And you know, and honestly,
we've been married now for twenty seven years. I mean,
to me, that kind of keeps it alive. I'm not
having to pursue you, but the flirtation is still. I mean,
it's fun to still flirt with you.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
You're naturally good at it.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
I've seen you do it, you know. I hear you
do it on the phone sometimes. And I don't think
you're trying to get a date.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I'm not flirting and it's not intentional.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Misunderstand it. I'm not saying that you're trying to get
a date.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, I'm glad to know that you know that that's
not the case.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
I just know who you are and how warm you
are and so and you you should lean in like.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Treating people nice. That's what I like doing.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
You know, when flirting works for me is I have
to know you for a while. Actually, no, reverse that
you have to know me for a while.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Yes, that makes sense for you, Sam.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Right, Yeah, because I'm standoffish.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
I'm glad that you know that.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
I didn't want to say that to you, but you
do come off as standoffish at first.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Yeah. I mean one of my exes even told me
that once, that, you know, when she tried to introduce
me to her friends. It's like, I come off as
standoffish better than you snobbish that kind of way, Yeah,
because I clam up and I'm not whatever open open, right,
and then but that's give off you get to know
(06:27):
me for a while, understand, Yeah. Unfortunately I shouldn't put
that pressure on the female to have to get to
know me. I should be more open.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
I think that you are, though, I mean we've known
each other for a long time.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Yeah, because you have to know him.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
For a long no, no, well no, no, but seriously,
I know we've known each other for a long time,
but I think that you're more social than you used
to be. You will actually go up and say hi
to people, and then the past you didn't do that.
And it's true. I mean I think when I first
met you, it was the same thing. I didn't think
it was snobbishness. I'm not actually, I thought it was disinterest. Yeah,
that's the way that I looked. It's like, Okay, this
(07:06):
dude doesn't really care about anything else.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
That then that's another one. That's another one, Yeah, thing
I heard.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Yeah, and you know, but once I got to know you,
I mean that's obviously so yes, that part, but I
don't I'm saying, don't sell yourself short I think that
you are more social now than you used to be.
You appear to be in a public setting to me,
more comfortable than you ever have in.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
And what's funny about that is it's not alcohol related.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Oh yeah, that always warm job. Yeah she did, for sure.
So touching on the on the big ones.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Lean into your strengths when it comes to flarning, you know,
pay attention to body language. If she's not into it,
she'll tell. You'll know by is she getting closer to you,
is she looking away? If she's looking away and moving
her body away from you, she's really not into it.
A woman who's interested in a man and he's flirting
and sort of leading, she will lean in. Okay, I
(07:59):
promise she wants eye contact. I promise that. Careful of
not of not seeming creepy. You know, maybe keep the
dirty jokes for later. Careful with the conversation.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Don't go political. But you don't want to be also boring.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
You want to try to find us something to talk
about that's interesting. And that's where that's where the humor
comes in handy. If you really know right where the
funny is, be yourself and try to be funny. Just
it'll come to you naturally, because you're naturally that way.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
The thing we didn't.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Talk about in the show that I want to say
so badly when talking about flirting, and this is for
women too, this whole concept, this whole these these discussions
we had today, it's not just advice for men, you know,
it's for women too, who are fine with taking the
initiative and flirting.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yeah, which there's nothing wrong with that, right. It takes
all times for the world to go.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Let's said, Sam loves that when he said, make sure
you're selective. Don't be the person who flirts with everybody.
I know, we said practice it. If you want to
be a good flirter, you have to flirt. If you
want to be a good swimmer, you have to swim.
But don't be the person that flirts with everybody, because
then how could she trust it.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
Be selective.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Make sure that you are interested in so and so,
and then you work on your and try to flirt
with her, because if you flirt with every woman in
the room and her friends, she's going to know and
she's been like, well he just he's with everybody.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Yeah, So just so that I'm not confused about what
you're saying, so you're when you're saying flirting, you're actually
talking about single people, single people pursuing others. And so
it's almost to me like if I were to rewind
the clock back in time, it's almost like the effective
flirting is really again just being yourself, because you were
talking about not being creepy, and it's also about kind
(09:43):
of not being cheesy because if you do, if you
start to try too hard and you don't really see
the other person connecting, you need to read the room
and and and adjust accordingly.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Right.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yeah, So I.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
Think that it's a good conversation to have nowadays.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
So when you're saying flirting with everybody in the room,
you're saying, Okay, well, this guy is not serious about anything.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
But we've all met people men and women who are
flirtatious naturally, who just flirt with every Yes, I know
friends who are flirty naturally, who flirt with every dude.
And it's like, if.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
There's the receptor of that flirting, you don't find it special.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Because you know everybody, right, I think be selective, And
to me, it's like, wait till there's actually a spark
someone you're actually interested in and it'll I think you
have an advantage if you're actually interested, because you can't
fake that. You can't fake a sparkle in your eye.
You can't fake being sort of lit up by someone's presence.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
You can't.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
That's so I wouldn't flirt with everyone. I would flirt
with the ones that matter. Don't waste your energy on
flirting with everyone unless you're practicing it. You know. The
reason this this I saw this online and an article,
and the reason that it is important to talk about
in our time for single people is because of the
(11:09):
way we live today. We're connected by technology more and
more and less and less in person one on one,
and in person one on one experience is invaluable. It
is you know, if you want to be more successful
in life and have better relationships, you have to be
in front of people.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
Yeah, you know, you have to be in rooms.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Someone compared it recently to an artist being the most
beautiful painter in the world, beautiful art, but only putting
it and hanging it in their garage, not going out
and showing it to the world, not putting it in
a gallery, not putting it out there.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Yeah, if you're going to flirt, I think it has
to be face to face because if you tried doing
it on this texting, it could come context and especially
like me with the sense of humor, could really come
off wrong.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Yeah, I mean it once flirting is underway, I think
it takes all forms once it can be texting and
things like that.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Well, it's lacking context because you don't have the eye
contact and the other things that make the math. People
that when you leave it up to somebody else to
try to interpret what you're saying. Yeah, flirting already. I
guess when you're really you know, in pursuit, you're being
delicate about it anyway. It's like you know, I guess
by definition, it's the you're kind of like going around
to test the waters, and so you know, the response
(12:28):
that you're going to get is more likely to be
understood and not misunderstood if it's in person. Not that
it can't be because people. I mean, you're right, Jody,
I'm warm. I don't think that people misread that in
me as any way other than you know.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Just there's a possibility that when you're really warm and
really personable, that people can misread it as flirting when
you're not flirting.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
But that's just that's the breath.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
I've never had anybody tell me, you know, I've never
had anybody act like that around me if that was
the case. But you know, the what I was going
to say about the tech part, which is interesting because
you know, when people are just starting any relationships, they're
going to tend to it. And I'm sorry my phone
speaking of tech.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
Let me so, all the ladies trying to get podcasts, we.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Usually don't hear it.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
But you know, because people do their due diligence. Some
call it, you know, homework, some call it stalking, whatever
you want to call it. If they're checking out your
profiles online, okay, social you know, people present in one
way online that may not really be who they are,
oh one hundred. If you're not, if you don't go
and you know, have if you're not going to do
something in person, then there's there could be a lot
(13:32):
of assumption, and it's really unfortunate. That's the way the
world is. But people tend to believe what they scroll
now instead.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Of you know, and believe what people present online is
what they who they want to be, right. You see
that in work, in professional and personal it's who they
want to be because you can't. You can control the
narrative with the post, with the picture, with the words,
you control the narrative, so they're controlling the net. It's
it's imperative that you get to know someone in reality,
(14:00):
and you.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Know pretty much from the moment that we're old enough
to understand, you know, language, we're told to smile for
the camera, you know what I'm saying, and so it's yeah,
we grow up that any photo is typically going to
be you know.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I still believe I smile or some sort of those
old photos with the sad but you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
In other words, that you're saying, people will present because
you're most people don't want to present sadness. I get
that there's part you know, that's part of what you
see on social but most people are going to present,
like you said, their best side upfront. So this is
not going to give you the full perspective.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Life is a ball. I'm having a great time.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Who yeah, yeah, So anyway, you guys feel better about it?
Speaker 4 (14:37):
Do you feel better about it?
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Samson's you're the only one single here, Not that it's
it's you know, it's it's interesting to learn about the
human behavior about it.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yeah, I find it. I mean I find it very interesting.
I hope I don't have to use it again anytime.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Since I always found that you guys didn't ask me,
but I always found oh, you flirt. I always found
that I found it difficult to flirt when I really
like somebody, and not difficult when I if I had
no skin in the game, if you're okay to me,
like when I you know, it was easy, but if
I really liked you, you know, I can remember those
(15:10):
days of it being I was horrible. I felt like
I was horrible at It's.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
That's a very good point because yeah, if I have
no interest, my guard comes down.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
You're not self talking yourself into.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
Yeah, it's just like, oh it's just another person blah blah, yeah,
blah blah.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
But you still have to dip your toe in that water,
even if you feel nervous, because if you feel nervous,
it's because it matters.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
It's there's a spark and you should try.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Well.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
You know, it's it's interesting that you say that too,
because your question, you know, did I learn anything? I
think that it every it to me underscore is the
authenticity part of it and there are going to be
nerves associated with them. From the beginning, I guess that.
You know, when I think back to the beginning of
our relationship, you didn't really necessarily flirt with me. We
just gravitated towards each other.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I mean I did flirt with unless you were once
once you once we were underway. Of course I flirted
with you. Yeah, of course, and I'm sure across the room.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Yeah, throwing out the vibe.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
You did most of it. You let it.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
You would wink, you would walk past me and leave
little like you.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Wait, So winking is key to flirting.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
And he used to do that to me too.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Okay, I know he did. I'm know bromance. Yeah, but
of course I did. You obviously didn't catch it.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Well, no, it's not that I didn't. I mean, I
don't mean to sound stupid because for me, we've been
in a relationship for so long now, it's not like
the concept asking me to stop and think about it
makes me realize, Oh, I haven't flirted like from a
from scratch with a brand new relationship in twenty seven years,
not from.
Speaker 4 (16:42):
Not from scratch. But you do, I've seen it plenty.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Is it flirting? Or is it warmth.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
It's warmth, it's flirting for a relationship and.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
Just flirtatious warmth.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Yes, yeah, yeah, Okay, I don't I'm not worried about it.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
Okay, I know who you are. Missed any part of
the show. Get it all on the Murphy, Salmon Jody Podcast.
Welcome to the Murphy Sam and Jody after the show podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
So from the show today, how to Flirt Better? Sam,
you said you don't think you have any flirting game.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
No, yeah, correct, I've been told I am flirtatious. Bye exes.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Oh, someone you're in a relationship with, she always had
the tendency, We'll always have the tendency to think that
you're a flirt with that.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Is that what it is? Your exis thought you were
flirting with other people? Is that what you mean by that?
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Yeah? I guess, so, I guess I had to be
with other people, not flirting with them. Okay, But it's
if it is, if it does exist, it's completely unconscious. Sure, yeah,
it's unintentional.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
I believe you.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I believe you sometimes funny people. You are naturally a
funny person. You try to make everybody laugh. It's just
who you are. It's what you bring to the room,
to the conversation.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
And so.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
But if you've, in the presence of an ex, made
another female laugh in her mind, you're flirting. Yeah, yeah, okay,
that's what happened there. So, did you guys feel like
you learned anything in the show today about how to
be a better flirt.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
We touched on a few things.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
The reason I bring it back up in this after
the show podcast is we we left out one thing
that I think is super important that I want to
get to.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
But do you feel like you learned anything?
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I mean, well, I mean you and I are married,
and you will accuse me of actually flirting with you,
which is really funny.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
To be honest with you, because with me, and it's fun.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
But I mean at home, excuse me, that's what I mean,
that's what I do. But a lot of times just
just having fun.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
I'm saying, did you learn anything in the podcast today
that you had if you were single? Would you have
thought found that information beneficial about leaning into your strengths
like Sam, into the.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Warmth, Yeah, and being yourself and just who you are? Yeah,
I mean to me, that's yeah, that's to me, what
it is that that the magic of almost anything is authenticity. Right.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
Yes, that's we're going to get to that. We're going
to get to that.
Speaker 5 (01:55):
But you learned Sam, Yeah, it's it's to rely on
the hum right, because it's you naturally have to get
I get nervous in those situations anxiety, So to rely
on the humor is a way for me to vent it.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Out or to to tackle it.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Have you ever thought about just being honest I'm nervous
and saying I'm nervous. No, I think that's beautiful too,
sometimes honesty and then you would be you would feeling.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Play the pity card.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
No, no, no, that won't work.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
That would not know being honest saying oh, I'm nervous,
and then continue to talk and lean into what you
naturally have. I'm not saying it's in every situation, but
I think that a woman would appreciate that if you're
really feeling that way, Because if you're feeling that way,
I think it shows.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
So you're talking about like serious flirtation where you're you're
not connected to somebody else and you actually are seeking
a relationship with that what you mean, of course? I
mean I just didn't know if you meant like, because
you know there is there is sort of like fun
flirting that doesn't really mean anything. I think it is
nat I don't even know that it's really flirting.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Sam.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
You're not actively seen anybody, so you're not really flirting.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Actually, what's funny is that when you actually met, if
you met somebody today that really lit things up for you,
that you felt a spark for. That would be hard
for you because you already are telling yourself you have
no flirting game, and that would be flirting that mattered
to you.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Yeah. Yeah, And also there's a lot of in my head,
there's a lot of negative self talk. It's like, why
we should be interested in you? Oh god, sheee has
drop dead gorgeous. He's a ten and a half.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Aw yeah, and you're.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Lucky if you're a four point three.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
Now, okay, you work on that self saw. That's a
humor right there, right, because you.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Know how many people you know how actually a lot
of your relationships have did they not begin with the
with her flirting with you?
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (03:46):
I know, yeah, we know you.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
We know your history, and you've had a lot of
your relationships usually.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Have been the beginnings have been female led.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
You are the pursued, you're not the pursuer.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
Yeah, and you're okay, well you're comfortable with that works
for me? Yeah, it does work for you.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
I will tell you that as a lot of women
do like to be pursued though.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
Yeah, so if it's.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Something you want to think, I was the pursuer I mean, yes,
you know, I haven't had to pursue in a long time,
but I've always been the pursuer. Now, the thing that
the challenging thing about being the pursuer is you just
have to be ready that sometimes it's not going to
end the way that you act, and you just don't
let that stop you.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
You got to be brave enough to know that the
rejection is a possibility. That's true for any flirtation, any
you know, trying to start a relationship or trying to
get to know somebody well enough. You had what you
had going for you with me is I was comfortable
with you. I knew how friendly you are, but you
were warm, which you are today to this day. And
(04:49):
you're a leader, and I like leaders. I want to
be pursued. I want to be led. I respect that.
And it's not that if we had met and I
had an interest in you, I wouldn't have I would
have flirted if I had to. I felt like I
had to get your attention, but I didn't.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
It was nice.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Yeah, yeah, well that's good. And you know, and honestly,
we've been married now for twenty seven years. I mean,
to me, that kind of keeps it alive. I'm not
having to pursue you, but the flirtation is still. I mean,
it's fun to still flirt with you.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
You're naturally good at it.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
I've seen you do it, you know. I hear you
do it on the phone sometimes. And I don't think
you're trying to get a date.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I'm not flirting and it's not intentional.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Misunderstand it. I'm not saying that you're trying to get
a date.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, I'm glad to know that you know that that's
not the case.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
I just know who you are and how warm you
are and so and you you should lean in like.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Treating people nice. That's what I like doing.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
You know, when flirting works for me is I have
to know you for a while. Actually, no, reverse that
you have to know me for a while.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Yes, that makes sense for you, Sam.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Right, Yeah, because I'm standoffish.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
I'm glad that you know that.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
I didn't want to say that to you, but you
do come off as standoffish at first.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Yeah. I mean one of my exes even told me
that once, that, you know, when she tried to introduce
me to her friends. It's like, I come off as
standoffish better than you snobbish that kind of way, Yeah,
because I clam up and I'm not whatever open open, right,
and then but that's give off you get to know
(06:27):
me for a while, understand, Yeah. Unfortunately I shouldn't put
that pressure on the female to have to get to
know me. I should be more open.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
I think that you are, though, I mean we've known
each other for a long time.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
Yeah, because you have to know him.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
For a long no, no, well no, no, but seriously,
I know we've known each other for a long time,
but I think that you're more social than you used
to be. You will actually go up and say hi
to people, and then the past you didn't do that.
And it's true. I mean I think when I first
met you, it was the same thing. I didn't think
it was snobbishness. I'm not actually, I thought it was disinterest. Yeah,
that's the way that I looked. It's like, Okay, this
(07:06):
dude doesn't really care about anything else.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
That then that's another one. That's another one, Yeah, thing
I heard.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Yeah, and you know, but once I got to know you,
I mean that's obviously so yes, that part, but I
don't I'm saying, don't sell yourself short I think that
you are more social now than you used to be.
You appear to be in a public setting to me,
more comfortable than you ever have in.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
And what's funny about that is it's not alcohol related.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Oh yeah, that always warm job. Yeah she did, for sure.
So touching on the on the big ones.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Lean into your strengths when it comes to flarning, you know,
pay attention to body language. If she's not into it,
she'll tell. You'll know by is she getting closer to you,
is she looking away? If she's looking away and moving
her body away from you, she's really not into it.
A woman who's interested in a man and he's flirting
and sort of leading, she will lean in. Okay, I
(07:59):
promise she wants eye contact. I promise that. Careful of
not of not seeming creepy. You know, maybe keep the
dirty jokes for later. Careful with the conversation.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Don't go political. But you don't want to be also boring.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
You want to try to find us something to talk
about that's interesting. And that's where that's where the humor
comes in handy. If you really know right where the
funny is, be yourself and try to be funny. Just
it'll come to you naturally, because you're naturally that way.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
The thing we didn't.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Talk about in the show that I want to say
so badly when talking about flirting, and this is for
women too, this whole concept, this whole these these discussions
we had today, it's not just advice for men, you know,
it's for women too, who are fine with taking the
initiative and flirting.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yeah, which there's nothing wrong with that, right. It takes
all times for the world to go.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Let's said, Sam loves that when he said, make sure
you're selective. Don't be the person who flirts with everybody.
I know, we said practice it. If you want to
be a good flirter, you have to flirt. If you
want to be a good swimmer, you have to swim.
But don't be the person that flirts with everybody, because
then how could she trust it.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
Be selective.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Make sure that you are interested in so and so,
and then you work on your and try to flirt
with her, because if you flirt with every woman in
the room and her friends, she's going to know and
she's been like, well he just he's with everybody.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Yeah, So just so that I'm not confused about what
you're saying, so you're when you're saying flirting, you're actually
talking about single people, single people pursuing others. And so
it's almost to me like if I were to rewind
the clock back in time, it's almost like the effective
flirting is really again just being yourself, because you were
talking about not being creepy, and it's also about kind
(09:43):
of not being cheesy because if you do, if you
start to try too hard and you don't really see
the other person connecting, you need to read the room
and and and adjust accordingly.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Right.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yeah, So I.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
Think that it's a good conversation to have nowadays.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
So when you're saying flirting with everybody in the room,
you're saying, Okay, well, this guy is not serious about anything.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
But we've all met people men and women who are
flirtatious naturally, who just flirt with every Yes, I know
friends who are flirty naturally, who flirt with every dude.
And it's like, if.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
There's the receptor of that flirting, you don't find it special.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Because you know everybody, right, I think be selective, And
to me, it's like, wait till there's actually a spark
someone you're actually interested in and it'll I think you
have an advantage if you're actually interested, because you can't
fake that. You can't fake a sparkle in your eye.
You can't fake being sort of lit up by someone's presence.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
You can't.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
That's so I wouldn't flirt with everyone. I would flirt
with the ones that matter. Don't waste your energy on
flirting with everyone unless you're practicing it. You know. The
reason this this I saw this online and an article,
and the reason that it is important to talk about
in our time for single people is because of the
(11:09):
way we live today. We're connected by technology more and
more and less and less in person one on one,
and in person one on one experience is invaluable. It
is you know, if you want to be more successful
in life and have better relationships, you have to be
in front of people.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
Yeah, you know, you have to be in rooms.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Someone compared it recently to an artist being the most
beautiful painter in the world, beautiful art, but only putting
it and hanging it in their garage, not going out
and showing it to the world, not putting it in
a gallery, not putting it out there.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Yeah, if you're going to flirt, I think it has
to be face to face because if you tried doing
it on this texting, it could come context and especially
like me with the sense of humor, could really come
off wrong.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Yeah, I mean it once flirting is underway, I think
it takes all forms once it can be texting and
things like that.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Well, it's lacking context because you don't have the eye
contact and the other things that make the math. People
that when you leave it up to somebody else to
try to interpret what you're saying. Yeah, flirting already. I
guess when you're really you know, in pursuit, you're being
delicate about it anyway. It's like you know, I guess
by definition, it's the you're kind of like going around
to test the waters, and so you know, the response
(12:28):
that you're going to get is more likely to be
understood and not misunderstood if it's in person. Not that
it can't be because people. I mean, you're right, Jody,
I'm warm. I don't think that people misread that in
me as any way other than you know.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Just there's a possibility that when you're really warm and
really personable, that people can misread it as flirting when
you're not flirting.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
But that's just that's the breath.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
I've never had anybody tell me, you know, I've never
had anybody act like that around me if that was
the case. But you know, the what I was going
to say about the tech part, which is interesting because
you know, when people are just starting any relationships, they're
going to tend to it. And I'm sorry my phone
speaking of tech.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
Let me so, all the ladies trying to get podcasts, we.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Usually don't hear it.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
But you know, because people do their due diligence. Some
call it, you know, homework, some call it stalking, whatever
you want to call it. If they're checking out your
profiles online, okay, social you know, people present in one
way online that may not really be who they are,
oh one hundred. If you're not, if you don't go
and you know, have if you're not going to do
something in person, then there's there could be a lot
(13:32):
of assumption, and it's really unfortunate. That's the way the
world is. But people tend to believe what they scroll
now instead.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Of you know, and believe what people present online is
what they who they want to be, right. You see
that in work, in professional and personal it's who they
want to be because you can't. You can control the
narrative with the post, with the picture, with the words,
you control the narrative, so they're controlling the net. It's
it's imperative that you get to know someone in reality,
(14:00):
and you.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Know pretty much from the moment that we're old enough
to understand, you know, language, we're told to smile for
the camera, you know what I'm saying, and so it's yeah,
we grow up that any photo is typically going to
be you know.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I still believe I smile or some sort of those
old photos with the sad but you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
In other words, that you're saying, people will present because
you're most people don't want to present sadness. I get
that there's part you know, that's part of what you
see on social but most people are going to present,
like you said, their best side upfront. So this is
not going to give you the full perspective.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Life is a ball. I'm having a great time.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Who yeah, yeah, So anyway, you guys feel better about it?
Speaker 4 (14:37):
Do you feel better about it?
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Samson's you're the only one single here, Not that it's
it's you know, it's it's interesting to learn about the
human behavior about it.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yeah, I find it. I mean I find it very interesting.
I hope I don't have to use it again anytime.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Since I always found that you guys didn't ask me,
but I always found oh, you flirt. I always found
that I found it difficult to flirt when I really
like somebody, and not difficult when I if I had
no skin in the game, if you're okay to me,
like when I you know, it was easy, but if
I really liked you, you know, I can remember those
(15:10):
days of it being I was horrible. I felt like
I was horrible at It's.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
That's a very good point because yeah, if I have
no interest, my guard comes down.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
You're not self talking yourself into.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
Yeah, it's just like, oh it's just another person blah blah, yeah,
blah blah.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
But you still have to dip your toe in that water,
even if you feel nervous, because if you feel nervous,
it's because it matters.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
It's there's a spark and you should try.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Well.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
You know, it's it's interesting that you say that too,
because your question, you know, did I learn anything? I
think that it every it to me underscore is the
authenticity part of it and there are going to be
nerves associated with them. From the beginning, I guess that.
You know, when I think back to the beginning of
our relationship, you didn't really necessarily flirt with me. We
just gravitated towards each other.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I mean I did flirt with unless you were once
once you once we were underway. Of course I flirted
with you. Yeah, of course, and I'm sure across the room.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Yeah, throwing out the vibe.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
You did most of it. You let it.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
You would wink, you would walk past me and leave
little like you.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Wait, So winking is key to flirting.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
And he used to do that to me too.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Okay, I know he did. I'm know bromance. Yeah, but
of course I did. You obviously didn't catch it.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Well, no, it's not that I didn't. I mean, I
don't mean to sound stupid because for me, we've been
in a relationship for so long now, it's not like
the concept asking me to stop and think about it
makes me realize, Oh, I haven't flirted like from a
from scratch with a brand new relationship in twenty seven years,
not from.
Speaker 4 (16:42):
Not from scratch. But you do, I've seen it plenty.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Is it flirting? Or is it warmth.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
It's warmth, it's flirting for a relationship and.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
Just flirtatious warmth.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Yes, yeah, yeah, Okay, I don't I'm not worried about it.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
Okay, I know who you are. Missed any part of
the show. Get it all on the Murphy, Salmon Jody Podcast.
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