June 2, 2026 • 20 mins
Be IN a relationship with your bedtime routine! It is life changing. Here's what I do. -Jodi
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Murphy Sam and Jody after the show podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
What we're doing tonight on Facebook Live is being in
a relationship with your bedtime routine, which I got into
a relationship with mine about two years ago and it
has been life changing. And so it's girl time.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
When you say that, you just mean that. It's like
you've got a discipline. You follow it. And I know
that obviously being married to you, that you know this
is you know, it's eight thirty. Jody's in the back now. Now,
your schedule is a little bit different than a lot
of people because you wake up at what time, three fifty, right,
So not everybody wakes up at three fifty, you know,
in the morning. But this is good for anybody no
(00:35):
matter what time you It's true.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I just want to say we're going to cover this
tonight in our Facebook Live Girl Talk Tuesday, because this
is one of the things that we've been wanting to
talk about for a while altogether. But so my story
is that a couple of years ago I realized, Look,
I've always known that sleep is important. Sleep was that
thing that used to nag at me when our girls
(00:58):
were a little Murphy. You know that it drove me
crazy when I thought they didn't get a good night's sleep,
because I think everything else suffers when you don't get
a good night sleep. And I would when I would
know they had been up a bunch at night or
went to bed too late. I would be worried about
them during the day, like she's got a test today,
and I would be worried about it. I give sleep
a lot of respect. It is when your body and
(01:21):
brain repairs itself.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
You ever had a pimple on your face and you
go to sleep at night and you wake up in
the morning. It's better your body did that for you
while you were resting, and everything else has to reset.
And so when our girls were young, I went to
sleep when I could. People would always ask, knowing we
have these crazy hours, what time do you go to bed?
(01:45):
It's the second question I get. The first one is
how do you work with your husband? Second most common
question is what time do you go to bed? And
when the kids were little, it was always whenever I can,
because I would That's the truth.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah, I mean it was rarely a It was always
like nine point thirty two. It was pretty you know
late by comparison.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yes, and so once I got the girls got older,
got busy with their own lives, and I flipped the switch.
I realized I flipped that, and I thought, you know what,
I'm going to go to bed and look, Phoebe was
still in high school living with us when I changed.
I tried to sort of change that game. Instead of
me going in and tucking in kids, they would come
in and kiss me good night because I was going
(02:24):
to bed early. I would fight for my right about that.
It was a change that happened slowly but surely. And
Murphy is still getting used to it because sometimes he won't,
you know, he sam and he sometimes doesn't pay attention
to what time it is. Oh yeah, He'll walk in
the bedroom. He's like, you're already in bed. I'm like, Hi,
have you met me? Yes? So my bedtime routine really
(02:49):
starts in the afternoon. And I say that meaning I
don't have caffeine past three pm. If I ever do,
if I fudge that or a fibbit or whatever you
call it, I pay for it, even tea, which bothers me. Wow,
even tea.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Well, you know, and that varies by person. There was
a time where that caffeine was never a problem for me.
I mean, it really wasn't. I could have a cup
of coffee before I went to bed if I wanted to,
I'd be right out. But now, you know, I guess
it's your body changes, and our bodies are always constantly
changing on us. And they say that, you know, even
if you feel like you can have that caffeine and
(03:26):
go to bed, it winds up being disruptive to yourr
EM sleep, you know, rim sleep and all that kind
of stuff. Yeah, you know the repair sleep that you
were talking about.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
What about you, Sam? Do you have caffeine past three pm?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
I don't do anything after six pm?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
No, but you can have you'll.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
I'll drink, but I usually don't drink. I'm not drinking
coffee six pm. I have like a soft drink or
iced tea.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah, that messes with me if it has caffeine in it.
And they say caffeine stays in your system for seven
hours no matter what you do. So that's why I
try to do that. And it's hard because if we'll
go out to dinner at five o'clock or six o'clock
or seven, even I want tea or I want a
coke or something like that, but I just don't. I
try not to have it. That's one easy thing. One
(04:10):
thing I try to stick to and not always successful,
especially in the summer, is I try not to eat
anything past six pm, because there really is real science
about going to sleep on an empty stomach. If you
eat and then you go to sleep, your body is
busy trying to digest food, and it interrupts your sleep.
(04:33):
Your body can repair itself better if it's not dealing
with a bunch of food and digestion.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Which makes perfect sense to me. And it doesn't mean
that all your food is gone by the time you
go to bed. It just means you're not hopping in
the bed after you've had that big.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Right, the digestion process is towards the end, I guess.
So my deal was and I started that in January.
I don't know if you remember that. In January during
resolution time, I was like, I'm not going to eat
anything past six pm. I'm going to sleep better. It'll
almost be like a little fast And I do sleep
better on an empty stomach. Do I follow that? Not
(05:07):
every day because sometimes hungry winds. Sometimes it's like, man,
I would like some.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Popcorn, but there's a little thing of popcorn is not
the same thing as eating your dinner and then going
to bed fifteen minutes later.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I mean to me, that's what your body's not having
to work that hard on all those things.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Yeah. I also this year, this is new in my life.
This year twenty twenty six, I introduce the dark shower.
I don't take showers in the light anymore. In the evening,
like in the morning, I'll shower with the lights on.
But at night. Murphy knows this is true too. I
(05:44):
start the shower and I turn the light off, and
the little area outside of the shower, I turn that
light off. I know where everything is in there, and
your eyes adjust to the darkness.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Yeah, you've got some light coming in there.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
It's about your senses. It's a sensory experience. It's a shower.
So the warm water and the nice you know, body
wash or soaps or whatever you're using. If it's bright
in there, it almost sort of awakens you.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
It's the it's the circadian rhythm thing.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Yeah. So I do dark showers and they work, or
a dark bath would work. I've done a couple.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Probably works in you know, in in conjunction with all
of it. Yeah, but the you know, to me, I
find the dark showers downright dangerous.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
But I don't know.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I mean, you know where everything is in there, Murphy.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Yeah, I know how big is your shower.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I just mean it's a pretty good sized shower. But
I don't know why he said, Murphy says things are
dangerous that I can't understand.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Yeah, I'm just extra cautious in anything that's slippery, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
And I've not had any accidents. Dark showers have have
improved my nighttime routes.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah, I understand that. And I before well, I finally,
it's because the opposite is true in the morning when
you're starting and you don't you don't want all that
light hitting you at once because it does awaken your senses.
So the opposite works to your favor when you're trying
to get your day started.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
I also incorporate lower lighting in the whole house. I
need low light in the bedroom as I'm getting ready
for bed. And I say that because after the shower,
you know, I've got loations and creams to put on.
I'm a lady. I have my routines, you know, I
take my I take some medicine before I go to sleep,
and I do that with water, you know, I drink
a good bit of water. I feel like you should
(07:31):
go to bed hydrated.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Yeah, I know that.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
That's a tricky one too, though, enough hydration so that
your body's happy, but not so much that you're constantly
getting up to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Correct.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
So the uh so you mentioned the you know, the
lotion part in this, so this to me the sensory,
the smell part. Do you find that there are certain
scents that are more relaxing than others?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (07:53):
So like that lemon based soap that I've been using
that I really I mean it is man, it's invigorating,
it's great and I can use it at night. It
doesn't bother me. But do you find that that wakes
you up?
Speaker 2 (08:04):
I don't know, because I didn't like that so so
I don't use that.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
So but the lavender stuff you like, yes, yeah, I like,
you know you can and I don't know what your
light situation is at the house, but like, you know,
I have a million Hugh Phillips Hugh light bulbs that
are all connected and you can put them together and
there's like the hughe app They have scenes where you
can ye take the lights down. They have some that
(08:28):
actually based on the time of day, it'll get brighter
and then they're not darker. Or you can have like
different color scenes where this light is a light blue
and this light over here is a pale gray, and
it's if you want to get if you want to
get into all that stuff, and I mean, you can
work the lights to your favorite time.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
I probably should talk to Murphy. Would love to be
the one to kind of do that. If you want
to do something like that, that's fine with me. But
I already keep the lights low in the bedroom, but
my lamp is on next to my side of the
bed because we're going to get to another thing that
I do and I have something to look forward to,
like a book I'm reading. I'm always reading something, and
(09:06):
I don't do it on an electric I try not
to do as part of my during the week bedtime
routine when we have to get up and be you know,
on on the weekend whatever, I'll scroll and shop on
my phone, websites or whatever. But during the week when
I know I have to get up in that three
thirty three fifty time frame, I look forward to getting
(09:26):
to the bed around eight o'clock. I love to be
in the bed around eight and that way I can
go start go to sleep around eight thirty is the goal.
That's what I'm trying to do these days. It's not perfect,
it's a target.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Yeah, I think if you.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Keep it at target, that'll keep you from going way
over target. Yeah, you know you won't fudge it by
an hour you'll fudge it by fifteen twenty minutes of you. Yeah,
have to if it's just one of those days.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
But those times when i'm I'm more it's self care.
So when I'm true to it, it pays dividends. I
can feel a difference in a day where I've done
the nighttime routine the right way the night before. I
feel like I'm more alert and in you know, my
(10:13):
life because of good sleep. And you can do all
these things right and still not have a good night's sleep.
You know, I have hormonal changes. I have a two
thirty wake up. Sometimes that's clockwork. Sometimes.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Well, the other thing that you didn't put on your list,
but it absolutely contributes to it is the fact you exercise.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Well, yeah, I'm sorry, I actually I put that at
the first front part of my notes. I just forgot
to say it. I always sleep better on a day.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Yeah, I mean I do. I know that I sleep better,
you know, on days where I've done my workouts.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Yeah, and that's why on days like yesterday, I didn't
get a workout in. I worked out Sunday. I didn't
work out yesterday. So before I got into bed, you
know what I did. I got on my You were like, oh, yeah,
your plate. I got on my vibration plate and I
did some yoga poses on it and some squats on it,
because that's exercise and it you know, some would say
(11:06):
that don't do that right before you go to bed,
because it kind of jacks your body up. But I
wanted to get it in, and so I don't think
there's anything.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Wrong with you know what. I wonder if the mental
offset of feeling good about the fact you did that
for yourself is the perfect offset to actually do in
the exercise. Yeah, exercise never winds me up. It's really weird.
It's like, I mean, it's after a good workout, you know,
I'm I'm in that opposite place at that point. I'm
not saying I want to go to sleep right at
that moment, I'm just saying that it doesn't. It's not
like it amps me up, and even a long walk
(11:34):
doesn't really amp me up. I find I feel very peaceful.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Good because I think that's something that we don't talk
about enough with exercise, and I know we're talking about
sleep here, but it all works together because it's all
the basics. It's all self care. And the reason I'm
talking about this here and the reason we're doing it
tonight in Facebook Live is because I think sleep falls
to the bottom of that list. I think sleep does
not get the respect it deserves because we all know
about eating right and exercising and getting hydration and all
(11:59):
of that and being social being a big part of
that pie of mental health. But if you don't sleep,
if you don't get the sleep you need, you're not
making good mental decisions. You are you know, don't. I
don't ever want to make a bad decision if I'm exhausted.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
What do you do on the weekends?
Speaker 2 (12:17):
I this is a part of what I wrote down.
Try to keep things as the same as you can,
because your body doesn't know it's Saturday versus Tuesday. You
know that calendar is something that was created. That's but
I do like the idea of fudging it a little bit,
like we'll go out to eat. We had dinner reservations
on Saturday night at seven pm, and so I'm certainly not,
(12:41):
you know, thirty after eating like that. So I stay
up later, but I get up early on the weekends
to kind of keep my body close to the same schedule,
you know. And anyway, I'm just saying that it's something
that I took for granted for years and when the
ki were little and we were trying, you know, doing this.
(13:03):
I chose this life to be a working mother and
working strange hours mother, and so there were times when
my self care definitely went to the back burner, and
sleep was one of them. Even though I knew the
power of it. I worried about their sleep, and I
just got what I could. Let me go to bed
at ten thirty and get up at three point fifty
and do all the things and face plant later. I
(13:25):
didn't give a lot of thought to, you know, planning
my sleep until now in my life when I can,
and I have found that to be one of the
beautiful things about empty nest. I know, we did a
whole podcast on empty nests recently, because everyone experiences that differently. Yes,
(13:46):
I miss the kids being there and the sound of
the noises, and it's been an adjustment, like at dinner time,
like it's just you and me again. Here we are.
That's different.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
See it tomorrow, yeah, see it at.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Work, see it at that time. But I just thought,
let me use this as a time to take better
care of myself. Yeah, maybe I've earned that a little bit.
And so one of the things I wanted to do
was the sleep. And it's so cute because when Taylor
and Phoebe are home, they know they'll be up in
the front part of the house visiting with Murphy and
(14:18):
playing music and talking to Dad and he's making dad
jokes and doing all the things. And I'll excuse myself
and hug them, and I'll go to bed. I'll go
get in the bed, and they also come hug me
on the way out, even if I'm already starting to
drift or maybe I'm just in their reading. They know that,
and it's beautiful because they respect it. They're like, oh,
(14:39):
mom goes to bed.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
So it's just the boundary I've set for myself. I've
tried to stay true to it.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
It's good that you've stuck with it too, because it's
hard to Yeah, stick to bedtime.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Yeah, because that's also time that I could watch a
true crime documentary, you know, go online shopping. But I'm
also trying. When I say I read, I read a book.
I try to read on paper or an eReader that
looks like paper. I try not for it to be
a screen, because a screen, it is intriguing is not
(15:16):
the word.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
It's stimulating to your brain.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
But the thing is you stimulate.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
You should definitely use the blue filter and all the features.
These phones all have the features that you need, you know,
to keep the blue light from stimulating your brain. But
I think the activity also can keep your mind rolling,
because you get when we doom scroll, whether we realize
it or not, we're somehow engaging on some emotional level
or whatever you feel. And yeah, and I realize that too,
(15:42):
because I use the blue filters and all of that.
And still if i'm if I'm doing too much work.
And it's weird because if it's on my laptop, it
doesn't seem to be as bad as it is on
my phone, But on the phone, it really will. I
don't know if it just cranks my brain up before
going to bed, But you're right, it's the the reason
I think it's tricky to keep the discipline of it,
(16:04):
like you're talking about when you do work, you know,
full days, is when you finally have that moment of
where you feel like you breathe. You really want to
capitalize on that. You want to you don't want to
go to bed yet because you're breathing and it's peaceful
and there's not around.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
You're right exactly, You're finally your time. Yeah, and it's
okay to give it to sleep.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Yeah. And I think that you know where where it's
really working for you, Jody, is that you don't You're
not a perfectionist about it. You're diligent about it. You know.
I would almost say obsessive, and that's fine. I'm not
saying that in a negative way. I would say, just
like I have obsessions with other things, you are really
sleep obsessed more than just you know, it being something
important and then uh, but but you also you're not
(16:47):
a perfectionist about it. If you're twenty minutes off, fifteen
minutes off or whatever, yeah, sometimes it'll be later in
the week and you'll say, I'm just you're feeling it,
you're tired, but you don't let it completely derail you. No,
it's because the trick with setting that kind of goal
for yourself is always going to be, like Sam, like
you said, the consistency of it, and you have to
somehow be forgiving and reset and reset. Instead of getting
(17:10):
to the point where you go, I can't do it
and then you give up all.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
You continue to try doing it because it's a target.
It's a target a couple of things. It's I love
that we talk about it here like this, and it's
a self discovery thing for me because when I was
growing up, and I think all children are this way,
you were bedtime is nine and you hated that and
you fought against and you fought against it, so sleep
(17:33):
almost had a negative connotation. In fact, I can remember. Look,
if I was ever taking a nap and I get
a phone call, even if it's you Murphy, I'm like, no,
I'm not asleep. Why would I deny that? Why am
I apologizing for being asleep? It's just a natural No,
you didn't wake me? No, no, no, no, I guess so
I guess we all you don't want the person to
(17:54):
feel bad.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Either, correct, that's what that is.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
But I no one ever talked to me except for
you need to get more sleep. I was never really
taught of the incredible power of it until I started
reading about what actually happens to your body when you
go to sleep. It's all the things that you need.
You want your skin to look good, you want to
feel good, you want a clear mind. Good sleep is
(18:19):
important to all of that. And you can do everything
right and still not get a good night's sleep. Because
we are human, our brains work in mysterious ways. There
are hormonal changes, there's a million things well.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
And there's a lot of ancient wisdom about this. You know,
getting in a good night's sleep is not a new
thing at all. That's the reason our parents wanted us
to go to bed, so that you could function for school.
What I think it makes it different today is we
have many more things going on at one time. You know,
some things we can choose to do, some things that
come at us than there ever has been at any
other time in the past. Where it's constant saturation. You
(18:56):
have the ability to be completely plugged in twenty fours
and so I think that's how we easily forget or
we fudge it because give me twenty more minutes, or
I'm reading this, or I'm interested, or wow, this is
a fun YouTube video, or you know, scroll, you know another,
whatever it is, you know, you get carried away, and.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
That what's the value in that sleep is the value.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
It's fomo fear of missing out and I don't know
what it is I'm going to miss out on if
I stay up an extra half hour an hour, But
it's like.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
How do you want to feel tomorrow? That's what I do.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
I mean, it's rare, rare that I stay up past bedtime.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Well, I'm in a relationship with my bedtime routine. Murphy
knows that, and we'll talk about it tonight doing Girls
Girl Talk Tuesday. I can't wait. But I guess the
final takeaway here is that it is foundational. You have
to get the basics right of anything. Anything you're doing,
the basics matter, and sleep is one of those basics.
(19:58):
You need good food, you need good sleep, you need exercise,
you need axe oxygen, and you need water, you need hydration.
But sleep is a huge part of it. And you
know you're going to sleep just don't wait until you
fall in your face and get three hours. You need
the full night's sleep as often as possible. Missed any
part of the show. Get it All on the Murphy
(20:19):
Salmon Jody podcast.
Welcome to the Murphy Sam and Jody after the show podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
What we're doing tonight on Facebook Live is being in
a relationship with your bedtime routine, which I got into
a relationship with mine about two years ago and it
has been life changing. And so it's girl time.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
When you say that, you just mean that. It's like
you've got a discipline. You follow it. And I know
that obviously being married to you, that you know this
is you know, it's eight thirty. Jody's in the back now. Now,
your schedule is a little bit different than a lot
of people because you wake up at what time, three fifty, right,
So not everybody wakes up at three fifty, you know,
in the morning. But this is good for anybody no
(00:35):
matter what time you It's true.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I just want to say we're going to cover this
tonight in our Facebook Live Girl Talk Tuesday, because this
is one of the things that we've been wanting to
talk about for a while altogether. But so my story
is that a couple of years ago I realized, Look,
I've always known that sleep is important. Sleep was that
thing that used to nag at me when our girls
(00:58):
were a little Murphy. You know that it drove me
crazy when I thought they didn't get a good night's sleep,
because I think everything else suffers when you don't get
a good night sleep. And I would when I would
know they had been up a bunch at night or
went to bed too late. I would be worried about
them during the day, like she's got a test today,
and I would be worried about it. I give sleep
a lot of respect. It is when your body and
(01:21):
brain repairs itself.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
You ever had a pimple on your face and you
go to sleep at night and you wake up in
the morning. It's better your body did that for you
while you were resting, and everything else has to reset.
And so when our girls were young, I went to
sleep when I could. People would always ask, knowing we
have these crazy hours, what time do you go to bed?
(01:45):
It's the second question I get. The first one is
how do you work with your husband? Second most common
question is what time do you go to bed? And
when the kids were little, it was always whenever I can,
because I would That's the truth.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah, I mean it was rarely a It was always
like nine point thirty two. It was pretty you know
late by comparison.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yes, and so once I got the girls got older,
got busy with their own lives, and I flipped the switch.
I realized I flipped that, and I thought, you know what,
I'm going to go to bed and look, Phoebe was
still in high school living with us when I changed.
I tried to sort of change that game. Instead of
me going in and tucking in kids, they would come
in and kiss me good night because I was going
(02:24):
to bed early. I would fight for my right about that.
It was a change that happened slowly but surely. And
Murphy is still getting used to it because sometimes he won't,
you know, he sam and he sometimes doesn't pay attention
to what time it is. Oh yeah, He'll walk in
the bedroom. He's like, you're already in bed. I'm like, Hi,
have you met me? Yes? So my bedtime routine really
(02:49):
starts in the afternoon. And I say that meaning I
don't have caffeine past three pm. If I ever do,
if I fudge that or a fibbit or whatever you
call it, I pay for it, even tea, which bothers me. Wow,
even tea.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Well, you know, and that varies by person. There was
a time where that caffeine was never a problem for me.
I mean, it really wasn't. I could have a cup
of coffee before I went to bed if I wanted to,
I'd be right out. But now, you know, I guess
it's your body changes, and our bodies are always constantly
changing on us. And they say that, you know, even
if you feel like you can have that caffeine and
(03:26):
go to bed, it winds up being disruptive to yourr
EM sleep, you know, rim sleep and all that kind
of stuff. Yeah, you know the repair sleep that you
were talking about.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
What about you, Sam? Do you have caffeine past three pm?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
I don't do anything after six pm?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
No, but you can have you'll.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
I'll drink, but I usually don't drink. I'm not drinking
coffee six pm. I have like a soft drink or
iced tea.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah, that messes with me if it has caffeine in it.
And they say caffeine stays in your system for seven
hours no matter what you do. So that's why I
try to do that. And it's hard because if we'll
go out to dinner at five o'clock or six o'clock
or seven, even I want tea or I want a
coke or something like that, but I just don't. I
try not to have it. That's one easy thing. One
(04:10):
thing I try to stick to and not always successful,
especially in the summer, is I try not to eat
anything past six pm, because there really is real science
about going to sleep on an empty stomach. If you
eat and then you go to sleep, your body is
busy trying to digest food, and it interrupts your sleep.
(04:33):
Your body can repair itself better if it's not dealing
with a bunch of food and digestion.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Which makes perfect sense to me. And it doesn't mean
that all your food is gone by the time you
go to bed. It just means you're not hopping in
the bed after you've had that big.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Right, the digestion process is towards the end, I guess.
So my deal was and I started that in January.
I don't know if you remember that. In January during
resolution time, I was like, I'm not going to eat
anything past six pm. I'm going to sleep better. It'll
almost be like a little fast And I do sleep
better on an empty stomach. Do I follow that? Not
(05:07):
every day because sometimes hungry winds. Sometimes it's like, man,
I would like some.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Popcorn, but there's a little thing of popcorn is not
the same thing as eating your dinner and then going
to bed fifteen minutes later.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I mean to me, that's what your body's not having
to work that hard on all those things.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Yeah. I also this year, this is new in my life.
This year twenty twenty six, I introduce the dark shower.
I don't take showers in the light anymore. In the evening,
like in the morning, I'll shower with the lights on.
But at night. Murphy knows this is true too. I
(05:44):
start the shower and I turn the light off, and
the little area outside of the shower, I turn that
light off. I know where everything is in there, and
your eyes adjust to the darkness.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Yeah, you've got some light coming in there.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
It's about your senses. It's a sensory experience. It's a shower.
So the warm water and the nice you know, body
wash or soaps or whatever you're using. If it's bright
in there, it almost sort of awakens you.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
It's the it's the circadian rhythm thing.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Yeah. So I do dark showers and they work, or
a dark bath would work. I've done a couple.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Probably works in you know, in in conjunction with all
of it. Yeah, but the you know, to me, I
find the dark showers downright dangerous.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
But I don't know.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I mean, you know where everything is in there, Murphy.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Yeah, I know how big is your shower.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I just mean it's a pretty good sized shower. But
I don't know why he said, Murphy says things are
dangerous that I can't understand.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Yeah, I'm just extra cautious in anything that's slippery, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
And I've not had any accidents. Dark showers have have
improved my nighttime routes.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah, I understand that. And I before well, I finally,
it's because the opposite is true in the morning when
you're starting and you don't you don't want all that
light hitting you at once because it does awaken your senses.
So the opposite works to your favor when you're trying
to get your day started.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
I also incorporate lower lighting in the whole house. I
need low light in the bedroom as I'm getting ready
for bed. And I say that because after the shower,
you know, I've got loations and creams to put on.
I'm a lady. I have my routines, you know, I
take my I take some medicine before I go to sleep,
and I do that with water, you know, I drink
a good bit of water. I feel like you should
(07:31):
go to bed hydrated.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Yeah, I know that.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
That's a tricky one too, though, enough hydration so that
your body's happy, but not so much that you're constantly
getting up to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Correct.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
So the uh so you mentioned the you know, the
lotion part in this, so this to me the sensory,
the smell part. Do you find that there are certain
scents that are more relaxing than others?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (07:53):
So like that lemon based soap that I've been using
that I really I mean it is man, it's invigorating,
it's great and I can use it at night. It
doesn't bother me. But do you find that that wakes
you up?
Speaker 2 (08:04):
I don't know, because I didn't like that so so
I don't use that.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
So but the lavender stuff you like, yes, yeah, I like,
you know you can and I don't know what your
light situation is at the house, but like, you know,
I have a million Hugh Phillips Hugh light bulbs that
are all connected and you can put them together and
there's like the hughe app They have scenes where you
can ye take the lights down. They have some that
(08:28):
actually based on the time of day, it'll get brighter
and then they're not darker. Or you can have like
different color scenes where this light is a light blue
and this light over here is a pale gray, and
it's if you want to get if you want to
get into all that stuff, and I mean, you can
work the lights to your favorite time.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
I probably should talk to Murphy. Would love to be
the one to kind of do that. If you want
to do something like that, that's fine with me. But
I already keep the lights low in the bedroom, but
my lamp is on next to my side of the
bed because we're going to get to another thing that
I do and I have something to look forward to,
like a book I'm reading. I'm always reading something, and
(09:06):
I don't do it on an electric I try not
to do as part of my during the week bedtime
routine when we have to get up and be you know,
on on the weekend whatever, I'll scroll and shop on
my phone, websites or whatever. But during the week when
I know I have to get up in that three
thirty three fifty time frame, I look forward to getting
(09:26):
to the bed around eight o'clock. I love to be
in the bed around eight and that way I can
go start go to sleep around eight thirty is the goal.
That's what I'm trying to do these days. It's not perfect,
it's a target.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Yeah, I think if you.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Keep it at target, that'll keep you from going way
over target. Yeah, you know you won't fudge it by
an hour you'll fudge it by fifteen twenty minutes of you. Yeah,
have to if it's just one of those days.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
But those times when i'm I'm more it's self care.
So when I'm true to it, it pays dividends. I
can feel a difference in a day where I've done
the nighttime routine the right way the night before. I
feel like I'm more alert and in you know, my
(10:13):
life because of good sleep. And you can do all
these things right and still not have a good night's sleep.
You know, I have hormonal changes. I have a two
thirty wake up. Sometimes that's clockwork. Sometimes.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Well, the other thing that you didn't put on your list,
but it absolutely contributes to it is the fact you exercise.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Well, yeah, I'm sorry, I actually I put that at
the first front part of my notes. I just forgot
to say it. I always sleep better on a day.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Yeah, I mean I do. I know that I sleep better,
you know, on days where I've done my workouts.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Yeah, and that's why on days like yesterday, I didn't
get a workout in. I worked out Sunday. I didn't
work out yesterday. So before I got into bed, you
know what I did. I got on my You were like, oh, yeah,
your plate. I got on my vibration plate and I
did some yoga poses on it and some squats on it,
because that's exercise and it you know, some would say
(11:06):
that don't do that right before you go to bed,
because it kind of jacks your body up. But I
wanted to get it in, and so I don't think
there's anything.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Wrong with you know what. I wonder if the mental
offset of feeling good about the fact you did that
for yourself is the perfect offset to actually do in
the exercise. Yeah, exercise never winds me up. It's really weird.
It's like, I mean, it's after a good workout, you know,
I'm I'm in that opposite place at that point. I'm
not saying I want to go to sleep right at
that moment, I'm just saying that it doesn't. It's not
like it amps me up, and even a long walk
(11:34):
doesn't really amp me up. I find I feel very peaceful.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Good because I think that's something that we don't talk
about enough with exercise, and I know we're talking about
sleep here, but it all works together because it's all
the basics. It's all self care. And the reason I'm
talking about this here and the reason we're doing it
tonight in Facebook Live is because I think sleep falls
to the bottom of that list. I think sleep does
not get the respect it deserves because we all know
about eating right and exercising and getting hydration and all
(11:59):
of that and being social being a big part of
that pie of mental health. But if you don't sleep,
if you don't get the sleep you need, you're not
making good mental decisions. You are you know, don't. I
don't ever want to make a bad decision if I'm exhausted.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
What do you do on the weekends?
Speaker 2 (12:17):
I this is a part of what I wrote down.
Try to keep things as the same as you can,
because your body doesn't know it's Saturday versus Tuesday. You
know that calendar is something that was created. That's but
I do like the idea of fudging it a little bit,
like we'll go out to eat. We had dinner reservations
on Saturday night at seven pm, and so I'm certainly not,
(12:41):
you know, thirty after eating like that. So I stay
up later, but I get up early on the weekends
to kind of keep my body close to the same schedule,
you know. And anyway, I'm just saying that it's something
that I took for granted for years and when the
ki were little and we were trying, you know, doing this.
(13:03):
I chose this life to be a working mother and
working strange hours mother, and so there were times when
my self care definitely went to the back burner, and
sleep was one of them. Even though I knew the
power of it. I worried about their sleep, and I
just got what I could. Let me go to bed
at ten thirty and get up at three point fifty
and do all the things and face plant later. I
(13:25):
didn't give a lot of thought to, you know, planning
my sleep until now in my life when I can,
and I have found that to be one of the
beautiful things about empty nest. I know, we did a
whole podcast on empty nests recently, because everyone experiences that differently. Yes,
(13:46):
I miss the kids being there and the sound of
the noises, and it's been an adjustment, like at dinner time,
like it's just you and me again. Here we are.
That's different.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
See it tomorrow, yeah, see it at.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Work, see it at that time. But I just thought,
let me use this as a time to take better
care of myself. Yeah, maybe I've earned that a little bit.
And so one of the things I wanted to do
was the sleep. And it's so cute because when Taylor
and Phoebe are home, they know they'll be up in
the front part of the house visiting with Murphy and
(14:18):
playing music and talking to Dad and he's making dad
jokes and doing all the things. And I'll excuse myself
and hug them, and I'll go to bed. I'll go
get in the bed, and they also come hug me
on the way out, even if I'm already starting to
drift or maybe I'm just in their reading. They know that,
and it's beautiful because they respect it. They're like, oh,
(14:39):
mom goes to bed.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
So it's just the boundary I've set for myself. I've
tried to stay true to it.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
It's good that you've stuck with it too, because it's
hard to Yeah, stick to bedtime.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Yeah, because that's also time that I could watch a
true crime documentary, you know, go online shopping. But I'm
also trying. When I say I read, I read a book.
I try to read on paper or an eReader that
looks like paper. I try not for it to be
a screen, because a screen, it is intriguing is not
(15:16):
the word.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
It's stimulating to your brain.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
But the thing is you stimulate.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
You should definitely use the blue filter and all the features.
These phones all have the features that you need, you know,
to keep the blue light from stimulating your brain. But
I think the activity also can keep your mind rolling,
because you get when we doom scroll, whether we realize
it or not, we're somehow engaging on some emotional level
or whatever you feel. And yeah, and I realize that too,
(15:42):
because I use the blue filters and all of that.
And still if i'm if I'm doing too much work.
And it's weird because if it's on my laptop, it
doesn't seem to be as bad as it is on
my phone, But on the phone, it really will. I
don't know if it just cranks my brain up before
going to bed, But you're right, it's the the reason
I think it's tricky to keep the discipline of it,
(16:04):
like you're talking about when you do work, you know,
full days, is when you finally have that moment of
where you feel like you breathe. You really want to
capitalize on that. You want to you don't want to
go to bed yet because you're breathing and it's peaceful
and there's not around.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
You're right exactly, You're finally your time. Yeah, and it's
okay to give it to sleep.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Yeah. And I think that you know where where it's
really working for you, Jody, is that you don't You're
not a perfectionist about it. You're diligent about it. You know.
I would almost say obsessive, and that's fine. I'm not
saying that in a negative way. I would say, just
like I have obsessions with other things, you are really
sleep obsessed more than just you know, it being something
important and then uh, but but you also you're not
(16:47):
a perfectionist about it. If you're twenty minutes off, fifteen
minutes off or whatever, yeah, sometimes it'll be later in
the week and you'll say, I'm just you're feeling it,
you're tired, but you don't let it completely derail you. No,
it's because the trick with setting that kind of goal
for yourself is always going to be, like Sam, like
you said, the consistency of it, and you have to
somehow be forgiving and reset and reset. Instead of getting
(17:10):
to the point where you go, I can't do it
and then you give up all.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
You continue to try doing it because it's a target.
It's a target a couple of things. It's I love
that we talk about it here like this, and it's
a self discovery thing for me because when I was
growing up, and I think all children are this way,
you were bedtime is nine and you hated that and
you fought against and you fought against it, so sleep
(17:33):
almost had a negative connotation. In fact, I can remember. Look,
if I was ever taking a nap and I get
a phone call, even if it's you Murphy, I'm like, no,
I'm not asleep. Why would I deny that? Why am
I apologizing for being asleep? It's just a natural No,
you didn't wake me? No, no, no, no, I guess so
I guess we all you don't want the person to
(17:54):
feel bad.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Either, correct, that's what that is.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
But I no one ever talked to me except for
you need to get more sleep. I was never really
taught of the incredible power of it until I started
reading about what actually happens to your body when you
go to sleep. It's all the things that you need.
You want your skin to look good, you want to
feel good, you want a clear mind. Good sleep is
(18:19):
important to all of that. And you can do everything
right and still not get a good night's sleep. Because
we are human, our brains work in mysterious ways. There
are hormonal changes, there's a million things well.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
And there's a lot of ancient wisdom about this. You know,
getting in a good night's sleep is not a new
thing at all. That's the reason our parents wanted us
to go to bed, so that you could function for school.
What I think it makes it different today is we
have many more things going on at one time. You know,
some things we can choose to do, some things that
come at us than there ever has been at any
other time in the past. Where it's constant saturation. You
(18:56):
have the ability to be completely plugged in twenty fours
and so I think that's how we easily forget or
we fudge it because give me twenty more minutes, or
I'm reading this, or I'm interested, or wow, this is
a fun YouTube video, or you know, scroll, you know another,
whatever it is, you know, you get carried away, and.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
That what's the value in that sleep is the value.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
It's fomo fear of missing out and I don't know
what it is I'm going to miss out on if
I stay up an extra half hour an hour, But
it's like.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
How do you want to feel tomorrow? That's what I do.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
I mean, it's rare, rare that I stay up past bedtime.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Well, I'm in a relationship with my bedtime routine. Murphy
knows that, and we'll talk about it tonight doing Girls
Girl Talk Tuesday. I can't wait. But I guess the
final takeaway here is that it is foundational. You have
to get the basics right of anything. Anything you're doing,
the basics matter, and sleep is one of those basics.
(19:58):
You need good food, you need good sleep, you need exercise,
you need axe oxygen, and you need water, you need hydration.
But sleep is a huge part of it. And you
know you're going to sleep just don't wait until you
fall in your face and get three hours. You need
the full night's sleep as often as possible. Missed any
part of the show. Get it All on the Murphy
(20:19):
Salmon Jody podcast.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Hey Jonas!
Hey Jonas! The official Jonas Brothers podcast. Hosted by Kevin, Joe, and Nick Jonas. It’s the Jonas Brothers you know... musicians, actors, and well, yes, brothers. Now, they’re sharing another side of themselves in the playful, intimate, and irreverent way only they can. Spend time with the Jonas Brothers here and stay a little bit longer for deep conversations like never before.
Betrayal Weekly
Betrayal Weekly is back for a new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal Team by emailing them at betrayalpod@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod and @glasspodcasts. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations, and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience, and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack.