Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, Hi Mom, Hi, good morning, good morning, and good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Hi.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Oh my gosh, what an exciting week in your life.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
I know, I cannot wait. I'm jumping out of my skin.
I'm so excited.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
So for anyone who's listening and jumping in on this podcast,
this after the show podcast, Candace is my cousin and
your son James has been away in the Marine Corps, still.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Is in San Diego right now? Right boot camp?
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Yes, MCRD San Diego at boot camp, that's right.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
And he graduates this week and you'll be there on Friday.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
I will be there with a big banner and a
obnoxious homemade T shirt with his name and all that
good stuff and everything. You know.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
He called He had liberty Sunday yesterday where he called.
He had a phone, he had pizza, he had red Bulls,
and he had time and a honeybun and he called everybody.
And I did not expect him to call me, and
he called me and he was so exciting. I mean,
did he call you first? Do you know, like.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Mom was always the first call?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Yeah, then Grandpa.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Right, yes, Grandma'd a call. Uh, yep, his aunt got
a call, and you guys got a call his cousin's
got calls and the girlfriend. Of course, excuse me, the girlfriend.
I think, what's the second call after mom?
Speaker 3 (01:26):
You know, the order doesn't really matter. But you know,
I don't know what's wrong with me, but I feel
like I expected him to seem different to me when
he didn't. He just seemed excited in James.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah, I agree, it seemed good.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
And I was going to say the same thing you
know here because he all the For one.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Thing, he's just just the sweetest person in the world. Honestly.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
He was telling us so much that you know, he
loves us, and we told him the same how much
we love him and missed him at Christmas. But I
was expecting two. I don't know what I kind of
transformation I was expecting to happen because they're so regimented
that time period.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
But he's totally himself.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Well, and I think it's different now because he's passed
the Crucible. So the Crucible is kind of that final
test right to where they officially become Marines, so they
go from recruits to Marines. So I got a couple
of calls from him when he was in boot camp,
and there was a couple of times where he sounded
you know, his throat was really hoarse. He'm lot of
(02:25):
yelling boot, so his throat was kind of hoarse, and
he saunded at a little tired and maybe not quite himself.
So I think now that he's past that, and now
that they've had some free time on the base, I
think he's a little more himself and he's excited for
graduation and all that. So yeah, okay, big transformation is physical.
He asked me to bring some clothes but also a
(02:46):
belt because he said he loved about twenty pounds.
Speaker 5 (02:50):
Yeah, wow wow, Okay, right that picture of him, and
there's a banner out there's a congratulations welcome home banner
in your front yard right now with a picture of him.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
It's the most serious picture we've ever seen of him.
And rightly, so.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yeah, absolutely, so what I thought left hair, Yeah, and
he's got great hair.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
When he grows his hair out, it's curly and fantastic. Yeah,
but he looks great with the buzz. So what I
wanted to know is from your mom perspective, you know,
single mom, he goes off, what was your support? What
was it like for you? What are your thoughts?
Speaker 1 (03:31):
What was it like, yeah. So I think the start
of it was a little bit unexpected. So he had
kind of tossed around the idea of the military a
little bit, you know, here and there, and we had
talked about it. But when he had actually made the decision,
he had already gone to the recruiter and everything before
he told me. And he actually said that he was
kind of nervous to tell me. I don't know what
(03:53):
he thought my reaction was going to be, but you know,
we talked about it and I told him, of course,
I said, son, you know I love you, I support you.
Any decision you make, of course, you know I'm going
to support you. And the fact that he's a legacy.
You know, my dad was also in the Marines, actually
in San Diego as well. It's the very same where
James is. I think it's really it's really cool that
(04:17):
he's kind of carrying out that legacy. So, you know,
when he was home after high school and didn't did
a little community college and things like that, but I didn't.
It's not like college where you kind of you know
they're going away. You know, you go visit schools and
you look at storm and you go in you know
what I mean, So it was it was kind of
a surprise. But I have to say there's quite a
(04:41):
lot of support for families and parents for marines in
boot camp. There's a great Facebook group with moms of
previous recruits or or current Marines who have been through
boot camp, and so they update the Facebook page literally
every day, and they tell you kind of what your
marine is doing, and they give you accountdown to graduation,
(05:01):
and don't worry if you don't hear from them, because
they're working hard and this is what they're doing. And
they and they give you kind of a matrix so
you can kind of follow like what their training is
from week to week. Right, has been a huge help.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
You had sent the family, it'd sent us a tax
during the crucible that you know, we understand that nobody
was injured and we know that everybody made it through,
so at least you know. And I'm thinking, how do
you know that? How do moms know that what's going
on on the base. But you're saying this is because
they've been through it before, not because they're with your group.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Of recruits, right, And I guess they are getting some
real time information from the base of what currently is
happening because they are kind of giving us information. So
I'm not sure exactly how all of that works, but
they but they are getting information from the current recruits
and whatever platoon, you know, whatever company that they're in.
(05:52):
They are getting some real time information about what's what's happening.
So they are pulling on their past experience and kind
of what helped them through. True, but it's also been
good because they say, you know, letters might slow down
this week because this is happening, or make sure not
to send this or not to say that, or you know,
make sure, you know, try to stay positive, and so
(06:13):
they give a lot of tips about.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
That valuable to do.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
I would not have known how to navigate any of this.
I can't talk enough about that group. It's been such
a huge, huge support, and there's been a lot of updates.
There's another app where I can send letters, uh directly
to him and he gets in the next day and
they also yeah and yeah, which is incredible, so they
(06:41):
can they also update on what's happening on the base
week to week, and it's from some of the drill instructors,
and so they're letting us know kind of what's happening
with the recruits, and you know what's going on week
to week and what kind of training they're engaged in,
and and you know, giving us timelines and things like that.
So I feel I feel very connected to you know,
(07:03):
every kind of step of the way that he's that
he's been through. So that's really helped me through quite
a lot.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
I have a mom sort of question, will you see
him in San Diego before or you will not see
him until he's in that uniform graduating.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
I will get to see him before. So the way
they do it is kind of a three day event.
So the first day is a meet and greet, so
I get to actually meet his drill instructors. I get
to meet the people that have been working with him.
Wow six weeks. Yeah, So I get to interact with them.
(07:39):
And I found out that James was actually the scribe
for his platoon and so he's actually worked pretty closely
with the drill instructors.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I bet he volunteered for that. If we know James, well, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Not sure how that works. I don't know if he
volunteers or if he's selected for that. I'd say, you
guys have gotten letters from him, so maybe his penmanship
leave us a little bit to be but he's what
they call a cyberscribe, so we actually uses the laptop,
so he will type things in if they need, you know,
(08:16):
word documents or Google docs and things like that, so
he'll he's the only one that's allowed to touch the laptop,
so he's uh so that's a pretty big responsibility that
he's had. So they've gotten to know him pretty well.
And so we get to meet the drill instructors. But
we also there's a dinner that night, and we were
(08:37):
able to purchase tickets, and if we purchase a ticket
for our recruit, then he gets to join us for
the dinners, which we've done, so we'll get to see
James Wednesday night for dinner. I know, I can't wait
for that hug.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Oh my gosh, I not Look, I'm not going to
try to put you on the spot here, but I've
known you my whole life.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
We've not you know, right, literally, Yeah, you're.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Not really much of a crier. Do you think you're
gonna cry.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Like a baby?
Speaker 3 (09:15):
How could you not? Not? That you plan it? You
know you're gonna be real and true to yourself in
the moment but I think seeing him do that is
probably one of the biggest moments of your motherhood.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Absolutely. I mean, even being at home. You know, I've
watched YouTube videos on boot Camp and I've watched you know,
they have some series on Netflix. I've watched all the
marine stuff. I've been watching, you know, YouTube videos of
the Crucible and boohooing my eyes out, and not because
I'm sad, but I'm so proud of what he's done,
the sacrifice that he's made, just stepping up and you know,
(09:49):
taking this step for himself, and it's just so much
pride and also missing him and just just all those
emotions together. Have a handkerchief packed.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Ready, Okay, Jody, and I wish that we could actually
be there to just see that, you know, in in person,
but I guess we'll do the next best thing.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
We'll stream it.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Yes, I will post the link. Yeah, I will. It's
funny because I've told I mean, of course, I've told
everyone who will listen, you know, that I'm going to
the graduation, and you know, I've told them who all
is going. You know, you know, my dad's coming, my sister,
you know, her family, and then his girlfriend is also coming.
And they're like, oh, the girlfriend is going. I'm like, yeah,
of course. And they're like, oh, well, who's going to
(10:31):
get the first hug? And I'm like, oh, make no mistake,
I would be getting the first hug. If I have
to throw elbows.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
You'll be the first in Well, it's true, it's true.
Speaker 6 (10:43):
The Candace, are you like wondering if there's anything of
your little boy that they got rid of that you're
hoping they didn't get rid of.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Well, yes and no. I mean I know that he's
definitely taking a step to where he's more disciplined in himself.
And he's even written in his letters that, you know,
anytime you go away from home, right, you gain more
perspective on your past and growing up in life and
coming home is different and things like that. So but
even in his letters, I mean he's even told me
(11:17):
he's like, don't worry my mom, I'm still James, you know,
And even talking to him yesterday, yeah, you know, he's
sounded more like himself. So I feel like he's just
taken that next kind of adult step.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
He was talking about that on the call where that's
about how it was a mental you know, he was
making a comment to you, Jody, that was really just
sort of a mental thing, because there's anyone you know,
change and it was. I'm sure it gave him a
lot of perspective on everything from gratitude towards just a
reframe on his whole life. You know what was really special,
(11:52):
I thought in the beginning, your dad, Jody's uncle Larry
watching him. Who is is I want to say former
marine because once a marine. As you know he very
early in these conversations. I think it took his relationship
with James to a different level because he was able
to express something that only somebody who's doing that themselves
(12:15):
would understand. And he really took him under his wing
to prepare him for going out there in the first place.
And I can't imagine. I know we're not talking to
your dad at the moment right now, but I know
that he's got to feel that same way. The bond
between he and James through this process, I think it's
got to be incredibly tight.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
It's been sweet to watch absolutely.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
I mean, it's his namesake. I named James after my dad.
He's at the same place where my dad went through
boot camp in sixty eight sixty nineteen sixty nine, his
only grandson, you know, something that means so much to
my dad, and it's such a source of pride for
him his whole life that his grandson is following in
(12:56):
those footsteps. I mean, it's just incredible.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
There's nothing else his heart right now, there's nothing else
going on in this world but that right now for
Uncle Larry, special person.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
So I'm going back to the question before. So Wednesday
we get to do the meet and greet, and then
Thursday as a whole what they call family Day, so
we kind of get to watch from the bleachers as
they do some of their drills. But then that whole
afternoon we get to spend with James. So we can
see on the base. There's a marine history museum that
we can go to, an arcade we can go to,
we can have pizza, you know. So there's a lot
(13:30):
on the base where James can kind of show us
around and show us what he's been doing. And then
Friday morning, uh is the actual graduation. And then as
soon as the graduation is done, he's ours. So we
already have his plane ticket. He's been right next to
me on the way home on the on the play and.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
So Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
So when does he report back for duty though? How
long will he be home or do you even know?
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Well, he has he has ten day leave, uh and
he'll when he graduate, he'll have his orders, so he'll
have his mos. He says he's requested combat engineer, which
I was like, so what exactly is that? He said, Well,
basically get to play with explosives.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Okay, Well, I guess you know that during his ten
day leave, Taylor and Phoebe are coming to see him.
They have already walked off time. You'll be hosting Tay
and Phoebes.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Absolutely, Oh yeah. He wrote wrote me several letters with
you know, lifting all the things he wants to do
with the cousins while they're here. So he's very excited
about that.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Yeah, and going to San Diego with you for this.
It's your dad, it's you know, his girlfriend, but it's
also your your sister Crystal and Philip and Addie. It's
that correct, Oh fantastic. That is going to mean the
way of him.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Absolutely absolutely. And you know one other thing I got
from the mom. The mom's in the Facebook group. I
did get a chance to ask James if there's any
recruits in his platoon that don't have family coming for
whatever reason. You know, they can't get off work, they
couldn't afford the plane tickets to invite them to come
with us for the family day activities, because we don't
want any of the recruit Those are his brothers now right, Yeah,
(15:10):
you know, their their family, So we want to make
sure that nobody's left out, and we want to make
sure that incredible. You know, they can spend time with
us if they don't, if they don't have people, they're
going to be there for them.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
So that is wonderful.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
He's not a boy anymore. When I hung up the
fun he sounded like that, and he was joking with
us about having three Red bulls. He apologized. He said, look,
I know I'm usually more chill, but I just had
three Red bulls because I could, and I'm excited. It's
Liberty Sunday, he said.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
But I hung up with him, and I thought, he's
not a boy anymore. He's a man. You feel that yet, yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Absolutely absolutely, And and you know I think some of that,
like I said before, you know, some of that is
whatever you're doing the first time you leave home, right,
you do gain some of that perspective, and you think about,
you know, and you interact with your peers, and you
think about, you know, your experience is growing up and
things that you appreciate or things that you maybe took
for granted, and you know, you just have a different
(16:04):
perspective on life, right, But especially the rigor the discipline,
the you know, the physical and the mendical mental changes
that he's gone through, you know, in such a short
period of time. I think he just kind of accelerated
that process. So he's he's definitely definitely not a little
boy anymore, but he's still my boy. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Well, you know, it's funny because one of the one
of the conversations I have with your dad a long
time ago. He and I, every time we get to
hang out, we end up having great conversation. I have
a good relationship with him. And he told me he
was talking to me about when he went into the
Marine Corps and he said, you know that it gave
him confidence. You know a lot of people talk about
(16:47):
discipline and a future and a path, but he said
it gave me confidence. And I remember having a discussion
with him about that, and I wonder if we'll see
more confidence from James, which I never thought he lacked much, right,
So now.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Look out, I think so and I think, you know,
I mean, yeah, James has always been outgoing. You know,
he's definitely an extrovert, and he you know, doesn't have
trouble making friends and things like that. But I think
there were certain areas in his life where he did
kind of lack some confidence in as far as maybe
having some direction and not really knowing kind of where
he wanted to go and where he wanted to go
with those next steps in his adult life, or feeling
(17:25):
confidence that he could get out there and do it
on his own, which I feel like he has gained
that now. And so yeah, I'm interested to visit with
him when we come back. And he said he's got
some plans. We have a mom Son Day plan just
for us when he comes back. So he's got a
lot of plans for what we're going to do on
(17:46):
that day. So I can't wait.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Is there anything that I can do for you this week?
Like anything we can do?
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Well? I know that. Well, what I was going to
say about the leave is that recruiters they do have
a program to where you can sign up to be
a recruiter assistant. So when he comes home for his
ten day leave, if they approve that, then he can
get an extended leave from two weeks up to a
month of additional leave time. Now that all depends on
(18:16):
his training as well, whatever his MOS is. They might say, well,
we want him back at Pendleton in ten days and
that's it, right, and that's but if they can delay
it a little bit and the recruiters need his help
like going to high schools and things like that, then
he might have some additional leave. So if he gets
additional leave, he may end up at your house.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Oh he told us that. Yeah, he asked if he
could bring his girlfriend to see us.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
And we're happy to do that. Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Well, yeah, we were like absolutely.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
Well, you know, I think it's incredible that they offer
the opportunity to be a recruit assistant right after coming
out of boot camp. You've got the best perspective, right.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Then, Yeah, yeah, better right.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
I never I never realized that those recruiters were that
that's what a lot of the recruiters are. That's fantastic.
Speaker 6 (19:00):
Yeah, Candice, can you tell me what m O S
stands for?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Yes? Actually, I just googled that the other day, and
it's something of service. I'm trying to think of what
it is, but it's basically whatever he's assigned to. So
it's his Yeah, whatever his training is going to be
in the Marines when he's there. Okay, so that's his order.
So it's called a military occupational specialty.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
Oh no, we got it, Okay, Yay. Well, we we
had just so delighted that you were able to share this,
you know, and do this with us, because i mean,
how else would we know. You know, I've never been
so close to someone to go into the Marines and
come go in and recruit and come out of a
(19:50):
marine and we're so proud of him and for him.
I told him that yesterday.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yeah. Absolutely, And I've known, you know, because of my dad,
and I'm grown up around it in his entire office.
I mean, there's everything in the Marine Corps you could
possibly you know, have and I've talked to my dad
about it, but being immersed in it and being a
mom going through this experience, I've learned so much about
you know, the Marine's history and you know what they're
going through and really living through it, and you know,
(20:18):
as a parent, it's definitely a unique, a unique perspective,
but yeah, I couldn't be more proud of it. So
you can't wait to get that first hug.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
For any mom that is about to experience the same
thing than what would you recommend now that you've been
you know, been through it.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
I think definitely just be there to support them as
much as possible. Just understand that they're you know, taking
this step into independence and just being there, you know,
in whatever ways you can, you know, letters, letters and
more letters, pictures from home, things like that, but also
(20:56):
reaching out to the support systems that are they. Like
I said, I would not have gotten through this entire
experience without you know, the Mom group of the Facebook
group and the resources that they have on the face
that they have really made sure that, you know, the
families are included and they realize how important that support
is and so making sure, you know, taking advantage of
(21:20):
of those resources and staying connected as much as possible.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Can you tell us the name of the Facebook group?
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Uh, it is specific to MCRD San Diego, and it's gosh,
it's a private group exactly because it's kind of long, so.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
It would be shared individually wherever somebody wants Is that right?
Is that how you found out about it?
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Right? Okay, right, right, right?
Speaker 3 (21:46):
I don't want to get you in trouble with the
moms with the Marin Marine.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Not at all, not at all. Uh So it's an
Echo company MCRD San Diego Family Support Group and and
it's a private group. And they even say there's a
ton of groups, but some of the public groups are
not official groups, right, so you might not get correct
information or you know, it might not be directly from
from the base there. So they do tell you know,
(22:11):
this is a private group, make sure that this you know,
this is where you're getting your information from. But they
have you know, all kinds of support and also you know,
just like funny memes. But they also send pictures. There's
a photography company that takes pictures throughout the whole. And
then I've already purchased the USB of all of those pictures,
(22:33):
so James will be able to get those. But they
post them also periodically, so I've been looking through to
see if I can find him. And there was one
mom that that even asked, like, when we get to graduation,
how am I going to know which one is my kid?
Because they all look to say, which is kind of
the point. I mean, you know, they're supposed to be.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Utiful, and the point I think you'll know, yeah, I
think you'll know yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
And the glasses, the glasses.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Right. Well, we're excited for you. Please send us tons
of pictures, but not I want, like I mean, secondary later.
You know, your day with James is your family.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Another piece of advice that I got from the moms
was to assign somebody that's not a mom to take
some pictures. I think Crystal or Phil is going to
be my photographer because yes, like you said, I'm not
gonna I'm gonna want to be in the moment. I'm
not going to be. You don't want to have my
phone in my hand the whole time.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Good call.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
That is a fantastic piece of advice. Yep, all right, Well,
I love you.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
I love you too. Thanks for calling.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Thank you for letting us know that he would be
calling yesterday, Because no way would I have taken a
call on a Sunday that I didn't know was coming
from California like that, a number I didn't know. I
would have never taken that.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Exactly, Okay, exactly, yep, yep.
Speaker 4 (23:48):
All right, well, thank you for letting us share this
with everybody too. Yeah, we appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Oh yeah, absolutely absolutely missed any part of the show.
Get it All on the Murphy, Salmon Jody Podcast.