April 7, 2026 • 17 mins
Consider it another superpower! Mom always knows when something is wrong.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Murphy Salmon Jody after the show podcast,
thank you for hanging out with us. Remember also you
can see the video version of this on YouTube.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Parents know when you're sick, Parents know when something is wrong.
From Three Things to Know Today in the show, we
touched on this new research. Medical research shows that parents
not ninety one or two percent of the time, which
is a high, high, high percentage, they know when a
kid is really sick. And it's like, yes, obviously, and
(00:28):
they're saying it even needs to be considered when it's
the school nurse or you know, a doctor examining a kid.
You need to talk to the parents.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
What do you know? What do you see? What do
you see?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Yeah, and it's like yes, but there's no worse feeling though.
Backing that up, there's no worse feeling than as a parent,
like getting that call you're at work because this happens.
You get the call and you're like, oh, they're sick,
and you're thinking, man, that big project was coming up.
I wonder if they just want to go home and
then you go get them at school and they're sick.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Yeah, yeah, is that the first thing that popped into
your head too? A lot of times for me, it
was that it's like, okay, you really said.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Well, I think the struggle there, it's the either side
of it. As a parent, you and some parents will
you know, always take the uh all right, and I
don't really know if this is the case, and then
you know, some will go the other side immediately not
you know, assess it. It's a struggle because you really
have to. You have to use all those and eat
parental skills, your.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Intuition, You use your intuition, hopefully you know your child
really well. I mean, I just felt like it depends
on the parent too. When I was a little kid.
When I was a kid, I did play that card
a lot. I've told you about my childhood. I was
an anxious child. I was an insecure child, and I
felt very uncomfortable at school. A lot of the time
(01:45):
I was bullied. The school was not a good place
for me. My home life and grandma my mom. When
my mom was working, mom and dad were both working,
I would call my grandmother and she lived five minutes
from the school, and she would come get me, no questions, asked.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Hey baby, are you okay.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
There were times, and I know that I called her
when it was just really anxiety, when I just really
couldn't be in the school environment.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
And I knew she wouldn't question it. Now. I remember
her looking over.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I mean, one time I'm in the front seat with
her and her old Smobile and she is.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Well, that dates it.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Yeah, she always drove that.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
She always drove an Oldsmobile. And she cut her eyes
over at me, and she was like, I could tell
that I was busted or faking it, but I just
wanted to be at her house in a cocoon.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
You know, that's probably a very and that's a very
common thing. I think I remember some of that, you know,
with our daughters in that specific cases where it was difficult.
You know, it wasn't it wasn't a bullying or anything
like that. There were just certain days where it was
just it's difficult to go. You feel you can't overcome
the challenge, and you have to then coach through that.
And that's that's the part. Maybe sometimes it gets to
(03:00):
place where the first time you'll let it go, but
then if it happens a second time and it becomes
a pattern, then you have to make the change in.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
A discussion with them.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
But what I'm saying is the reason when I became
a parent, I knew to check that box or to
open that door, to go is she really sick or
is she having a day? Because I was very familiar
with that game because I played it.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Our girls didn't really play that game.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
No, No, they didn't.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
They really didn't.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Every time they wanted to come home, they really didn't
feel well, and that I was.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
We were lucky for that.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
The only things around that time, if period, for the
girls that were challenges I think are the same challenges
for everybody in that age group is middle school, because
that's the awkward phase, that's the transition, that's all that.
It's a hard place to me, and as a kid,
I was not prone to I really was sick if
I stayed home. And the reason I enjoyed school was
(03:55):
really because of a number of friends. And I guess
I was fortunate that I'd liked being with my friends
in addition to that, and so the classes whatever pressures
and yeah, I mean I had some bullying, same thing
in elementary school and all that, But I guess it
was lucky that none of that was enough for me
to try to But I don't know that my mom.
Oh yeah, play sick, But I don't think my mom.
(04:15):
My mom as scrutinizing as she was, she was going
to air to the side of you're not.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
You would rather face a bully than try to pull
one over on your mother.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Well, and the option was challenging for her because there
was no other care for us. She was working, my
dad was working, so if we were sick, there wasn't
necessarily an option unless my grandmother was available and able to.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Take care of her. Got a lot.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Uh right, So.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
I had some anxiety, but I never did I never
did use that. If I, like Murphy, if I was sick,
I was really sick. If I was claiming sickness, I
was sick.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
And did any of your kids ever?
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Oh yeah? And with me, the way I looked at
it is number one. Break out the thermometer, Okay, check
that temperature to lie. Temperature can't lie right, And then
you know how your child acts, you know how they look,
you know you've been there with them when they've really
been sick, so you know what to judge it against. Yeah,
And I will honestly say I had I've had kids
(05:20):
when they come home and it's like Okay, you're relaxing
and eat anything all that, and then like two hours
later they're fine and can I go out and play?
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Yeah, and you're life.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
I thought you were on your deathbed here, and well
they don't feeling better.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
What they don't realize is that they you've rearranged your
whole day for them, because there's work and there's a
there's life that you rearrange for that, and that's okay,
that's part of being a child. They're not supposed to
realize that. The bigger conversation here is that thing that
can't be explained, that parental intuition. If you have a
(05:51):
connection with your child, you know them. When our kids
walk in the door, I can tell if something's wrong
or something's right. When I would pick them up in
carpool all those years in the afternoon, when as soon
as I would see Taylor or Phoebe walk out from
the sidewalk to the pickup area, I could tell if.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Things were going well, things were not going well.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
And as soon as they got in the car and
closed the door, then I got the real story because
I know that car was their safe harbor, and I
wanted it to be, but.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
I just feel like that was always true.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
From the time they were very little, I could tell
when something was wrong. The same is true if one
of them call me right now. From the first word
I can hear is everything okay, is everything, and that
I'm always waiting for it Hello. And as soon as
it's hey, Mom, everything's great. But if it's Mom, I
immediately become on alert. And the truth of the matter is,
(06:47):
hopefully we all have that. My mother to this day
knows when something is wrong with me. Same deal, one
syllable if she and I are if I'm in her
presence or because she's in tuned with me.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Yeah, And I think in tune really means knowing the patterns,
and to know the patterns, you just have to pay
enough attention. It's all about patterns. A changing pattern is
what causes your intuition to click in and go, Okay,
this doesn't match everything else that's been going.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
But for me, it's intuition.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Those two really are interwoven.
You are you've internalized what you know is normal versus
what's not normal, and that comes from paying attention. My
grandmother was the one that I just remember her saying
that she said that really for all things in life,
about paying attention. But you know, when before our you know,
(07:36):
oldest Taylor was born, you know, she was being encouraging,
as she always was, saying, you know, honey, you just
need to love them and pay attention. That's it, you know,
and that's the main thing. And I think some of
that actually came from hindsight from her. She was always
an in tune mother, but they came. She was part
of that generation that you know, kind of not distanced
(07:59):
themselves from care, but it was just treated differently, you know,
like when the adults were together, that was going to
be you know, the kids don't interfere with the adult time,
and that sort of thing very.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Different in a time got a great message for those right.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
And so I think as you know, she got older
and she saw the times changing and realized that was
not you know, always a great thing. It was more
more of the reason for her to say pay attention.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I think, and this is Look, this is not a
slight to dads, but I think women are a little
more intuitive emotionally like that. Though I have found that
to be true.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
I have well with me.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
In our experience in my experience with me with my dad,
with Murphy as the dad, with me and.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
The boys, Yes, it was always suspicion. Yeah, with Maddie
it was like, sure, I'll come get you, and I'll
come get you tomorrow too. You don't even have to
warr outcome anytime you want.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
I'm there. Yeah, it's funny you say that because as
a father of two daughters, I mean, I don't know
that they would. I don't think they would try to
sway me on something like that. But I was pretty
balanced in the middle of it. Jodi can tell you
that I would. I would, you know, question and all that,
because you can't be a pushover parent, you know what
I mean, otherwise you're gonna get you.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Know, well, yeah you're n no oh no, no, no, you
were a pushover parent at bedtime and went with regards
to fun.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yes, they could always push you to fun.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Yes, that's true.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Okay, they could push you to go out to eat
with the blink of an eye. Things like that that
are easy to convince you of. I can convince you
to go out to eat any day too, which is
kind of.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Nice for me. But Sam, you have that.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Stereotypical classic adoration sort of relationship with Maddie and I do.
I don't know Maddie as well as I know you,
but I know you have it with her, and I
enjoy watching it because I was a daddy's girl. I
was the only girl and he I adored him. He
was my model for what a man should be, and
(09:56):
he treated me. There were only a few times he
was hard on me when he was trying to make
me tough. I told you those stories about you know,
him being tough on me with when coaching me, when
I would play basketball and stuff like that. But honestly,
at the end of the day, it was an unspoken thing.
But I knew I could almost get anything. I knew
(10:18):
if I said the right words, if I not bad
in my eyes. But I was a young girl and
I knew that if I really wanted something, I had
away with him that my brother didn't because I was
the girl.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
I hate something about that relationship.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
It's similar to that. But I Matt, Matty and I
have a thing now with like Amazon, Like every now
and then, probably once a month, I'll get hey, can
you order me some more Diva wash? Or Hey, I
need to get these shoes for blah blah blah, Can
you buy these for me? And it's like, yeah, sure,
no problem.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
She knows.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
I know she's working, I know she has money, but
it's like she knows.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
You're her soft spot. Yeah, you can't hide that from her.
That's her intuition at work. And that's y'all's relationship. It
is beautiful. And I don't have boys, and we never had.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
That's what I'm saying. I mean, I don't have a
comparison that, but I mean that's why I always say
being a dad is the favorite job that I've ever had.
I've really enjoyed being a father to two daughters. For
what's that, girl dad? Yeah, girl dad, Because I mean,
no doubt they could swam you on some things. And
it's they've done so many things that have been so
touching and just sweet over the years. They're special. But
(11:31):
you know the other part for me was modeling, modeling
the discipline, and modeling how they should be treated by men.
That was That's a big one for me. And that
started when they were younger. They start they see how
I treat Jody.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
That's the number one thing they do.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Yeah, exactly, And wat and so modeling that to me
and seeing them be these and that's exactly who they
are now. They're they're independent, they respect themselves and even
though they can be in healthy relationships, they've got boundaries.
They will speak up, they will talk about anything. You know,
they're not you know, oppressed. I guess is that you
know that was that was themselves, right, So it's so
(12:09):
very important, you know, to me, And I don't even
know what drives that other than I just wanted that.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
So, uh, your children, what drives you?
Speaker 1 (12:16):
It makes the dad part to me, you know, to
two daughters being is extra special because it's it's so
multi dimensional. It's not it's you know, yes, you'll do anything.
Of course, you'll do anything for all of your children,
but you know, but you'll do anything at any time.
But you know, but during those growth years, especially when
they're younger and they're coming up, and it's so important
(12:36):
that they understand how to respect themselves and their boundaries. Look,
Jodie was a great model of that too, But I
think you know, the dad modeling that is is equally
is important. And that's and I know you brought this
up to talk about the school thing, but That's why
even at that time, I don't know that I was
overly tough, but I did draw the line. I mean
it was not you know, it was.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
You need to go to school.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Yeah, right, exactly. It wasn't me. It was always coach
and tough. And I would even say, I understand, I
hear you, and look, if it gets really bad there,
then you call it and we will come get right
right now, you're not running a fever, and we know
that it's.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Right, you know, Yeah, you make those decisions on the daily.
You can't have a blanket policy correct how it goes.
You make those decisions on the daily as a parent.
That's parenthood all the way through. We're still making decisions
on the daily. But what I was going to say, no,
what I was going to say was that it's we
never had boys, but supposedly it's a similar situation between
mothers and boys. I've just never been a boy mom.
(13:30):
But there's the potential is that if I had a boy,
he would be that to me, that sort of special,
sacred little thing that that Sam and Maddie have. But
I don't know that relationship, but I believe that it exists.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Always in their moms. Yeah, it's the wrap around your
finger kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
We'll do it correctly.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Well, I mean so as a boy who had a mom,
you know, and Sam may right exactly, I was as
growing up, I was closer to my mom because my
mom was the one who was more engaged, ag and
what we were doing every day. She was managing the family.
You know, she was the one taking his places. My
dad was very hard worker, but and you know, my
dad was who he was, and then he wound up,
(14:10):
you know, having his drinking issues and kind of disappeared
off the radar for a little while he was at home,
but you know, she was the lead parent and he really,
you know, came to regret that later. But once he
had you know, given up alcohol and gone dry and
started to engage and become I guess more social with
(14:30):
the family, it got i mean light years better. And
then of course those last few years with my dad
after my mom had passed away were just the best
years that I ever had spent, you know, with him.
In a gift I wouldn't trade for anything. But my
mom absolutely was the one who I mean I leaned
on for the answers to things. I leaned on for
(14:52):
the assurances and the reassurances my grandmother. Same thing. I mean,
I think, you know, a boy's relationship with his grandmother
is you know, is equally is special if.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
You're lucky enough to have a grandparent in your life.
Not everyone does.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
Corant mom more of the parts in our family too. Yeah,
and I don't mean that belittling my dad, but it
was like the same thing. Yeah, if there was discipline,
Mom doled it out or you know anything like that.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
You know, every family is different, every family dynamic is different.
But I almost feel like, because I know it happened
to me, when you become a mother, you don't know
this is gonna happen. If you're listening to this and
you're pregnant, you're expecting all the things you need from
motherhood for parenthood are going to come to you naturally
once you become a parent, once that baby is in
your care and in your life. But I do feel
(15:38):
like there's something about the mom brain that just takes over.
There are a lot of women making all the decisions
like that day to day and being the lead parent
like your mom was, like your mom was. I think
a lot of moms you just end up. You don't
plan to be that, but it just happens naturally. You know.
I remember picking the pediatrician and picking the school and
(16:00):
this is what we're going to do.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
What do you think about this? And you were like
yes or no.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
But man, I'm definitely leading a lot of it because
that's the mom brain that shifted on.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Which just amazes me. By the way, So you know,
I mean, it is incredible to watch. It was nice
and anybody that I've known over the years that experiences
that same thing, our friend angela, same way. And it's
interesting how the mom bring translates even after you know,
kids grow up and all that, it still exists and
that incredible ability to organize and keep things moving and
(16:32):
run things is mind blowing. I mean, it really is.
You don't have to write stuff down, Jody. It's amazing
to me. I mean, I've already forgotten what we said
at the beginning of this podcasting when You're really sick.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
It was about mom's knowing when you're really sick.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
Another reason I didn't take off too many days for sickness.
My mom went from kindergarten through her senior year without
ever missing a day.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Wow, did she really saying that we.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
Were reminded of that occasionally, and that was.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Probably before the one hundred and two fever you can't
come to school rule.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
She busted. She'd always show us the clipping from the
newspaper with you know, Judith, you know when to keep
from kindergarten through her senior year in high school with
no and she got a certificate.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
No, it's fantastical.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
How are you gonna call it? Mom, I'm sick, well
I was sick.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Yeah, right to this day, jobs missed any part of
the show. Get it All on the Murphy Salmon Jody
Podcast
Welcome to the Murphy Salmon Jody after the show podcast,
thank you for hanging out with us. Remember also you
can see the video version of this on YouTube.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Parents know when you're sick, Parents know when something is wrong.
From Three Things to Know Today in the show, we
touched on this new research. Medical research shows that parents
not ninety one or two percent of the time, which
is a high, high, high percentage, they know when a
kid is really sick. And it's like, yes, obviously, and
(00:28):
they're saying it even needs to be considered when it's
the school nurse or you know, a doctor examining a kid.
You need to talk to the parents.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
What do you know? What do you see? What do
you see?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Yeah, and it's like yes, but there's no worse feeling though.
Backing that up, there's no worse feeling than as a parent,
like getting that call you're at work because this happens.
You get the call and you're like, oh, they're sick,
and you're thinking, man, that big project was coming up.
I wonder if they just want to go home and
then you go get them at school and they're sick.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Yeah, yeah, is that the first thing that popped into
your head too? A lot of times for me, it
was that it's like, okay, you really said.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Well, I think the struggle there, it's the either side
of it. As a parent, you and some parents will
you know, always take the uh all right, and I
don't really know if this is the case, and then
you know, some will go the other side immediately not
you know, assess it. It's a struggle because you really
have to. You have to use all those and eat
parental skills, your.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Intuition, You use your intuition, hopefully you know your child
really well. I mean, I just felt like it depends
on the parent too. When I was a little kid.
When I was a kid, I did play that card
a lot. I've told you about my childhood. I was
an anxious child. I was an insecure child, and I
felt very uncomfortable at school. A lot of the time
(01:45):
I was bullied. The school was not a good place
for me. My home life and grandma my mom. When
my mom was working, mom and dad were both working,
I would call my grandmother and she lived five minutes
from the school, and she would come get me, no questions, asked.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Hey baby, are you okay.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
There were times, and I know that I called her
when it was just really anxiety, when I just really
couldn't be in the school environment.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
And I knew she wouldn't question it. Now. I remember
her looking over.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I mean, one time I'm in the front seat with
her and her old Smobile and she is.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Well, that dates it.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Yeah, she always drove that.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
She always drove an Oldsmobile. And she cut her eyes
over at me, and she was like, I could tell
that I was busted or faking it, but I just
wanted to be at her house in a cocoon.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
You know, that's probably a very and that's a very
common thing. I think I remember some of that, you know,
with our daughters in that specific cases where it was difficult.
You know, it wasn't it wasn't a bullying or anything
like that. There were just certain days where it was
just it's difficult to go. You feel you can't overcome
the challenge, and you have to then coach through that.
And that's that's the part. Maybe sometimes it gets to
(03:00):
place where the first time you'll let it go, but
then if it happens a second time and it becomes
a pattern, then you have to make the change in.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
A discussion with them.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
But what I'm saying is the reason when I became
a parent, I knew to check that box or to
open that door, to go is she really sick or
is she having a day? Because I was very familiar
with that game because I played it.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Our girls didn't really play that game.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
No, No, they didn't.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
They really didn't.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Every time they wanted to come home, they really didn't
feel well, and that I was.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
We were lucky for that.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
The only things around that time, if period, for the
girls that were challenges I think are the same challenges
for everybody in that age group is middle school, because
that's the awkward phase, that's the transition, that's all that.
It's a hard place to me, and as a kid,
I was not prone to I really was sick if
I stayed home. And the reason I enjoyed school was
(03:55):
really because of a number of friends. And I guess
I was fortunate that I'd liked being with my friends
in addition to that, and so the classes whatever pressures
and yeah, I mean I had some bullying, same thing
in elementary school and all that, But I guess it
was lucky that none of that was enough for me
to try to But I don't know that my mom.
Oh yeah, play sick, But I don't think my mom.
(04:15):
My mom as scrutinizing as she was, she was going
to air to the side of you're not.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
You would rather face a bully than try to pull
one over on your mother.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Well, and the option was challenging for her because there
was no other care for us. She was working, my
dad was working, so if we were sick, there wasn't
necessarily an option unless my grandmother was available and able to.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Take care of her. Got a lot.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Uh right, So.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
I had some anxiety, but I never did I never
did use that. If I, like Murphy, if I was sick,
I was really sick. If I was claiming sickness, I
was sick.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
And did any of your kids ever?
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Oh yeah? And with me, the way I looked at
it is number one. Break out the thermometer, Okay, check
that temperature to lie. Temperature can't lie right, And then
you know how your child acts, you know how they look,
you know you've been there with them when they've really
been sick, so you know what to judge it against. Yeah,
And I will honestly say I had I've had kids
(05:20):
when they come home and it's like Okay, you're relaxing
and eat anything all that, and then like two hours
later they're fine and can I go out and play?
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Yeah, and you're life.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
I thought you were on your deathbed here, and well
they don't feeling better.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
What they don't realize is that they you've rearranged your
whole day for them, because there's work and there's a
there's life that you rearrange for that, and that's okay,
that's part of being a child. They're not supposed to
realize that. The bigger conversation here is that thing that
can't be explained, that parental intuition. If you have a
(05:51):
connection with your child, you know them. When our kids
walk in the door, I can tell if something's wrong
or something's right. When I would pick them up in
carpool all those years in the afternoon, when as soon
as I would see Taylor or Phoebe walk out from
the sidewalk to the pickup area, I could tell if.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Things were going well, things were not going well.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
And as soon as they got in the car and
closed the door, then I got the real story because
I know that car was their safe harbor, and I
wanted it to be, but.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
I just feel like that was always true.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
From the time they were very little, I could tell
when something was wrong. The same is true if one
of them call me right now. From the first word
I can hear is everything okay, is everything, and that
I'm always waiting for it Hello. And as soon as
it's hey, Mom, everything's great. But if it's Mom, I
immediately become on alert. And the truth of the matter is,
(06:47):
hopefully we all have that. My mother to this day
knows when something is wrong with me. Same deal, one
syllable if she and I are if I'm in her
presence or because she's in tuned with me.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Yeah, And I think in tune really means knowing the patterns,
and to know the patterns, you just have to pay
enough attention. It's all about patterns. A changing pattern is
what causes your intuition to click in and go, Okay,
this doesn't match everything else that's been going.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
But for me, it's intuition.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Those two really are interwoven.
You are you've internalized what you know is normal versus
what's not normal, and that comes from paying attention. My
grandmother was the one that I just remember her saying
that she said that really for all things in life,
about paying attention. But you know, when before our you know,
(07:36):
oldest Taylor was born, you know, she was being encouraging,
as she always was, saying, you know, honey, you just
need to love them and pay attention. That's it, you know,
and that's the main thing. And I think some of
that actually came from hindsight from her. She was always
an in tune mother, but they came. She was part
of that generation that you know, kind of not distanced
(07:59):
themselves from care, but it was just treated differently, you know,
like when the adults were together, that was going to
be you know, the kids don't interfere with the adult time,
and that sort of thing very.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Different in a time got a great message for those right.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
And so I think as you know, she got older
and she saw the times changing and realized that was
not you know, always a great thing. It was more
more of the reason for her to say pay attention.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I think, and this is Look, this is not a
slight to dads, but I think women are a little
more intuitive emotionally like that. Though I have found that
to be true.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
I have well with me.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
In our experience in my experience with me with my dad,
with Murphy as the dad, with me and.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
The boys, Yes, it was always suspicion. Yeah, with Maddie
it was like, sure, I'll come get you, and I'll
come get you tomorrow too. You don't even have to
warr outcome anytime you want.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
I'm there. Yeah, it's funny you say that because as
a father of two daughters, I mean, I don't know
that they would. I don't think they would try to
sway me on something like that. But I was pretty
balanced in the middle of it. Jodi can tell you
that I would. I would, you know, question and all that,
because you can't be a pushover parent, you know what
I mean, otherwise you're gonna get you.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Know, well, yeah you're n no oh no, no, no, you
were a pushover parent at bedtime and went with regards
to fun.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yes, they could always push you to fun.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Yes, that's true.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Okay, they could push you to go out to eat
with the blink of an eye. Things like that that
are easy to convince you of. I can convince you
to go out to eat any day too, which is
kind of.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Nice for me. But Sam, you have that.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Stereotypical classic adoration sort of relationship with Maddie and I do.
I don't know Maddie as well as I know you,
but I know you have it with her, and I
enjoy watching it because I was a daddy's girl. I
was the only girl and he I adored him. He
was my model for what a man should be, and
(09:56):
he treated me. There were only a few times he
was hard on me when he was trying to make
me tough. I told you those stories about you know,
him being tough on me with when coaching me, when
I would play basketball and stuff like that. But honestly,
at the end of the day, it was an unspoken thing.
But I knew I could almost get anything. I knew
(10:18):
if I said the right words, if I not bad
in my eyes. But I was a young girl and
I knew that if I really wanted something, I had
away with him that my brother didn't because I was
the girl.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
I hate something about that relationship.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
It's similar to that. But I Matt, Matty and I
have a thing now with like Amazon, Like every now
and then, probably once a month, I'll get hey, can
you order me some more Diva wash? Or Hey, I
need to get these shoes for blah blah blah, Can
you buy these for me? And it's like, yeah, sure,
no problem.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
She knows.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
I know she's working, I know she has money, but
it's like she knows.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
You're her soft spot. Yeah, you can't hide that from her.
That's her intuition at work. And that's y'all's relationship. It
is beautiful. And I don't have boys, and we never had.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
That's what I'm saying. I mean, I don't have a
comparison that, but I mean that's why I always say
being a dad is the favorite job that I've ever had.
I've really enjoyed being a father to two daughters. For
what's that, girl dad? Yeah, girl dad, Because I mean,
no doubt they could swam you on some things. And
it's they've done so many things that have been so
touching and just sweet over the years. They're special. But
(11:31):
you know the other part for me was modeling, modeling
the discipline, and modeling how they should be treated by men.
That was That's a big one for me. And that
started when they were younger. They start they see how
I treat Jody.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
That's the number one thing they do.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Yeah, exactly, And wat and so modeling that to me
and seeing them be these and that's exactly who they
are now. They're they're independent, they respect themselves and even
though they can be in healthy relationships, they've got boundaries.
They will speak up, they will talk about anything. You know,
they're not you know, oppressed. I guess is that you
know that was that was themselves, right, So it's so
(12:09):
very important, you know, to me, And I don't even
know what drives that other than I just wanted that.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
So, uh, your children, what drives you?
Speaker 1 (12:16):
It makes the dad part to me, you know, to
two daughters being is extra special because it's it's so
multi dimensional. It's not it's you know, yes, you'll do anything.
Of course, you'll do anything for all of your children,
but you know, but you'll do anything at any time.
But you know, but during those growth years, especially when
they're younger and they're coming up, and it's so important
(12:36):
that they understand how to respect themselves and their boundaries. Look,
Jodie was a great model of that too, But I
think you know, the dad modeling that is is equally
is important. And that's and I know you brought this
up to talk about the school thing, but That's why
even at that time, I don't know that I was
overly tough, but I did draw the line. I mean
it was not you know, it was.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
You need to go to school.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Yeah, right, exactly. It wasn't me. It was always coach
and tough. And I would even say, I understand, I
hear you, and look, if it gets really bad there,
then you call it and we will come get right
right now, you're not running a fever, and we know
that it's.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Right, you know, Yeah, you make those decisions on the daily.
You can't have a blanket policy correct how it goes.
You make those decisions on the daily as a parent.
That's parenthood all the way through. We're still making decisions
on the daily. But what I was going to say, no,
what I was going to say was that it's we
never had boys, but supposedly it's a similar situation between
mothers and boys. I've just never been a boy mom.
(13:30):
But there's the potential is that if I had a boy,
he would be that to me, that sort of special,
sacred little thing that that Sam and Maddie have. But
I don't know that relationship, but I believe that it exists.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Always in their moms. Yeah, it's the wrap around your
finger kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
We'll do it correctly.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Well, I mean so as a boy who had a mom,
you know, and Sam may right exactly, I was as
growing up, I was closer to my mom because my
mom was the one who was more engaged, ag and
what we were doing every day. She was managing the family.
You know, she was the one taking his places. My
dad was very hard worker, but and you know, my
dad was who he was, and then he wound up,
(14:10):
you know, having his drinking issues and kind of disappeared
off the radar for a little while he was at home,
but you know, she was the lead parent and he really,
you know, came to regret that later. But once he
had you know, given up alcohol and gone dry and
started to engage and become I guess more social with
(14:30):
the family, it got i mean light years better. And
then of course those last few years with my dad
after my mom had passed away were just the best
years that I ever had spent, you know, with him.
In a gift I wouldn't trade for anything. But my
mom absolutely was the one who I mean I leaned
on for the answers to things. I leaned on for
(14:52):
the assurances and the reassurances my grandmother. Same thing. I mean,
I think, you know, a boy's relationship with his grandmother
is you know, is equally is special if.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
You're lucky enough to have a grandparent in your life.
Not everyone does.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
Corant mom more of the parts in our family too. Yeah,
and I don't mean that belittling my dad, but it
was like the same thing. Yeah, if there was discipline,
Mom doled it out or you know anything like that.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
You know, every family is different, every family dynamic is different.
But I almost feel like, because I know it happened
to me, when you become a mother, you don't know
this is gonna happen. If you're listening to this and
you're pregnant, you're expecting all the things you need from
motherhood for parenthood are going to come to you naturally
once you become a parent, once that baby is in
your care and in your life. But I do feel
(15:38):
like there's something about the mom brain that just takes over.
There are a lot of women making all the decisions
like that day to day and being the lead parent
like your mom was, like your mom was. I think
a lot of moms you just end up. You don't
plan to be that, but it just happens naturally. You know.
I remember picking the pediatrician and picking the school and
(16:00):
this is what we're going to do.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
What do you think about this? And you were like
yes or no.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
But man, I'm definitely leading a lot of it because
that's the mom brain that shifted on.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Which just amazes me. By the way, So you know,
I mean, it is incredible to watch. It was nice
and anybody that I've known over the years that experiences
that same thing, our friend angela, same way. And it's
interesting how the mom bring translates even after you know,
kids grow up and all that, it still exists and
that incredible ability to organize and keep things moving and
(16:32):
run things is mind blowing. I mean, it really is.
You don't have to write stuff down, Jody. It's amazing
to me. I mean, I've already forgotten what we said
at the beginning of this podcasting when You're really sick.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
It was about mom's knowing when you're really sick.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
Another reason I didn't take off too many days for sickness.
My mom went from kindergarten through her senior year without
ever missing a day.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Wow, did she really saying that we.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
Were reminded of that occasionally, and that was.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Probably before the one hundred and two fever you can't
come to school rule.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
She busted. She'd always show us the clipping from the
newspaper with you know, Judith, you know when to keep
from kindergarten through her senior year in high school with
no and she got a certificate.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
No, it's fantastical.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
How are you gonna call it? Mom, I'm sick, well
I was sick.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Yeah, right to this day, jobs missed any part of
the show. Get it All on the Murphy Salmon Jody
Podcast
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