April 14, 2026 • 9 mins
Have you ever heard of a "death doula?" Nicole Kidman as brought the term into the end-of-life conversation.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Murphy Salmon Jodi after the Show podcast.
You can also see the version of our podcast on YouTube.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
What did you guys think of the Nicole Kidman story
in the Hollywood Outsider today about her side her side interest.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
I've never heard of a death doula before.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Well, I mean, isn't that called hospice care? That's really
what that is?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Well, but hospice care is more medical care. I looked
into it a little bit after we did the story.
I saw that story for two days circulating, and I
kept seeing it and it's like, oh, she really did say this.
This is not somebody writing some made up story. She
said recently that she became interested in it, and look,
anyone can have a side interest something that piques them.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
And she said, I know it sounds a little weird.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Honestly, I don't think it sounds weird. I think it
sounds giving and quite caring, very caring.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
They're actually called end of life doula's.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Also, which is that that sounds better?
Speaker 4 (00:51):
Does sound better?
Speaker 2 (00:52):
But I guess for the you know, in media it
got reported as there's an international end of life duel Association,
and you know, they get care and support and what
they do is if you know, they offer services that
are non medical, being you know, just a help being
an emotional person so that someone's not lonely. You know,
(01:14):
it's a great help to the family. I think Nicole
had said that when her mother was ill, she had
a million things going on. She tried to be with
her as much as she could. And there are children
in the family and grandchildren in the family, but everybody's
so busy in their own lives that there were times
when it was like, it would have been nice to
have a trusted someone there to be just there for
(01:36):
that end of life care.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
And I thought, wow, what a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
But it's funny because the fact that she's interested in it,
could that's the question. Could she ever actually do it
or will she just bring light and attention to it
because she spoke about it, you know, you'd never heard
of it before, And.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Now I mean I think she could do it. You
mean because of the celebrity aspect. Yes, yeah, well, I
mean I guess it depends on you know what, what circle.
Maybe it's a friend group that she does that in.
There's certain ways for her to do that without it
being it's big in the spotlight.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
And the things you give up.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
I guess when you become that famous, you're always that person.
No matter what she does, she goes to the store
to buy milk, or she sits with someone you know
at their end of life, she's still Nicole Kidman.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah. Yeah. And does she have a paparazzi issue that's
kind of following her.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Well, I mean if it's just a friend group, it
won't be yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
The uh, you know the thing about that, I think
it's beautiful because you know, I've been through that, Jody,
you've actually been through that. Sam, you'd have to say
if you have. I don't know that you have. But
my grandmother, who was ninety seven, you know, wound up
being as as dementia began to take its course in hospice,
which were very grateful for was there. You know, was
(02:50):
helpful because it does become a challenge around the clock
because it's around the clock, you know, care that is needed, and.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Your life still continues, still have to go to work,
and your kids still have to go to school. It's
really hard to fit in something so important.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
And early on my grandmother was not really happy about it,
being what she called strangers until she got to you know,
know them. But then yeah, you know, then she got
really comfortable with that. And you know, I mean, just
being there is everything and somebody being there beyond the
medical care like you're talking about. I think that's really beautiful.
And your grandfather was much the same, Jody.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Oh, yes, we had a lot, you know, we.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
His children, especially my mom and her siblings, really were
with him as much as possible, and he loved visitors.
It made the huge difference to him. I looked it
up because when I when I heard the word doula
in this story, my first thought is pregnancy. Yeah, my
first thought is that sort of when I've.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Heard of the word, Yeah, that's what I connected.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
We always about that.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Doula is a non medical professional trained to provide continuous physical, emotional,
and informative support to a person before, during, or after
child birth. Is the for a you know, a pregnancy
doula And that's the most common form of doula, which
is also a wonderful, you know thing for a lot
of women who choose to have someone that person is
(04:11):
very educated, just doesn't hold a medical degree.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Are there any other areas where they have doula's.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Not that I've seen, not that I've seen. Like I said,
this is the first time I've ever heard of end.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
Of life dula's.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
But it is beautiful, you know, and hopefully someone that
you would trust. And I would think somebody that you
would would end up meaning a lot to you, you know. Anyway,
I just thought it was interesting because she's someone that
I love, Nicole. I'll always read a story about Nicole
Kimman what's going on with her, And I thought it
was really cool for her to share such a vulnerable
side interest. We all have side interests, right that sometimes
(04:45):
you don't even want to say because if you can
never make it happen, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
I thought it was kind of cool that she said it.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Yeah, did she ever give any more information? Like this
is why I want to do it.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Because of what she saw her mother, Oh, her mom,
which is the big one, I.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Mean, And that makes sense to me. I mean, once
you've that, you understand the power of that right, the giving.
There's really nothing complex about that other than just being there.
And it's It's the same way when you have volunteers
who go into assisted living homes and visit with the
elderly there and know it's all of that really does.
The social aspect, the companionship, that support makes the difference,
(05:20):
especially when someone has outlived all of their friends, yeah,
and some of their family members, and you know, I
mean it's yeah, it's a difference. It's a difference maker.
I know my grandmother was connected, as you know Jody
until she and still until dementia really started to take
its full course on her. You know, she the interaction,
She thrived in the in the interaction and loved it.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
Anyway.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
I just think it's interesting because you don't hear a
lot of people that famous give away there what they
would do or what they want to do once they
stop their craft and trade. And so that's what she
has said, which I think is super cool. Do you
have any side interests that that you've never spoken to
anyone that you would.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Do only flying into space of course not.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Yeah, we know that.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
I want to know that one.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
I do know that one.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, Murphy, any side interest that you have never even
thought to speak to anyone, because we don't know if
Nicole Kimman we'll go on and do this or not.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
She just said, I have a serious interest in it.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah, I guess it depends on you know, where you
are in life. You'll have fleeting thoughts of things. I
guess until you're there, you really don't know how you
want to occupy your time. I think it's a very
healthy thing for somebody in retirement, if they're in you know,
true retirement or partially retired or whatever, to spend time
doing those things because it keeps you mentally active and healthy. Too.
(06:42):
Giving to somebody else actually winds up feeding you too.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
One because it gives you purpose.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Yeah, I think the bigger picture part of it, what
it speaks to is just volunteerism in general and how
important that is. And we're so busy with our own schedules.
It's tough to carve out time for that, especially when
you're in the middle of your working life and raising
kids and you know, trying to juggle and create. You know,
volunteer time is challenging. But something to me that I
(07:09):
don't want to see that simple. If you are naturally compassionate,
I think sitting there and just being there for somebody,
a stranger could make a huge difference.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
That's a really good time in your life. It once
you've retired to do some sort of volunteer work that's
always called to you because there's so much need. You know,
that day that Taylor, our oldest daughter, who she volunteered
at like a soup kitchen, and she did it more
than once. She really loved it, and she did it
as part of a project for her. She's in grad school,
(07:42):
but she's she was her eyes were just opened to
you know, the whole process and all the different people
coming in and the rules and the regulations, and she
just showed up and volunteered and did whatever she was told.
But she said there were quite a few older volunteers
who just show up three times a week, and she
said they really knew what was up. They really knew,
you know, the older lady there really knew what to
(08:04):
say to someone who was being belligerent. They knew what
to say to someone you can't take three bags. You
can only take one bag, like one little lunch bag
to go. Because they offered some of those like after
they ate, you know, in the hall, in the dining
hall that was on the way out, here's a you know,
here's a sandwich and an.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
Apple for later.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
And they would they would have people trying to take
two and three and four and you have to kindly explain,
you know, one on your way out. And she said
she didn't know what to do. And Taylor didn't know
what to do in that moment. But the older lady
who was volunteering, who volunteered three times a week, was
handled it beautifully.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
She knew what to do, what to do, She knew
what to do, you know.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
And Taylor also volunteering for the crisis hotlines, which are
you know, it's that's done by text, not answering the
phone is something that she's she's loved doing too, because
it's the same thing. You're not actually giving direction, you're listening.
It's another form of what you're talking about, just at
a different stage and a different place. I'm of life,
(09:00):
So there are there's so many different ways that you
that you can do it. I love knowing that that's
what And it doesn't surprise me when you get to
a certain age, especially when you've been through that. Like
you said, if, the if, the if. The whole reason
for this is that, you know, experiencing that with her mom,
it sparks something, right. Nothing is a greater incentive to
do something than you actually going through and experience in
(09:21):
it yourself, because you see the difference that something like.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
A true motivation and sort of to dig in a
little more to answer kind of your question, Sam, the
only correct statement we got is that she says she
is she is training.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
To become a death. Oh so she's already she's training.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Because she didn't go into specific specifics about what that
training actually is.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Beautiful missed any part of the show.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Get it All on the Murphy, Sam and Jody Podcast.
Welcome to the Murphy Salmon Jodi after the Show podcast.
You can also see the version of our podcast on YouTube.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
What did you guys think of the Nicole Kidman story
in the Hollywood Outsider today about her side her side interest.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
I've never heard of a death doula before.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Well, I mean, isn't that called hospice care? That's really
what that is?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Well, but hospice care is more medical care. I looked
into it a little bit after we did the story.
I saw that story for two days circulating, and I
kept seeing it and it's like, oh, she really did say this.
This is not somebody writing some made up story. She
said recently that she became interested in it, and look,
anyone can have a side interest something that piques them.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
And she said, I know it sounds a little weird.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Honestly, I don't think it sounds weird. I think it
sounds giving and quite caring, very caring.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
They're actually called end of life doula's.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Also, which is that that sounds better?
Speaker 4 (00:51):
Does sound better?
Speaker 2 (00:52):
But I guess for the you know, in media it
got reported as there's an international end of life duel Association,
and you know, they get care and support and what
they do is if you know, they offer services that
are non medical, being you know, just a help being
an emotional person so that someone's not lonely. You know,
(01:14):
it's a great help to the family. I think Nicole
had said that when her mother was ill, she had
a million things going on. She tried to be with
her as much as she could. And there are children
in the family and grandchildren in the family, but everybody's
so busy in their own lives that there were times
when it was like, it would have been nice to
have a trusted someone there to be just there for
(01:36):
that end of life care.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
And I thought, wow, what a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
But it's funny because the fact that she's interested in it,
could that's the question. Could she ever actually do it
or will she just bring light and attention to it
because she spoke about it, you know, you'd never heard
of it before, And.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Now I mean I think she could do it. You
mean because of the celebrity aspect. Yes, yeah, well, I
mean I guess it depends on you know what, what circle.
Maybe it's a friend group that she does that in.
There's certain ways for her to do that without it
being it's big in the spotlight.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
And the things you give up.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
I guess when you become that famous, you're always that person.
No matter what she does, she goes to the store
to buy milk, or she sits with someone you know
at their end of life, she's still Nicole Kidman.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah. Yeah. And does she have a paparazzi issue that's
kind of following her.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Well, I mean if it's just a friend group, it
won't be yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
The uh, you know the thing about that, I think
it's beautiful because you know, I've been through that, Jody,
you've actually been through that. Sam, you'd have to say
if you have. I don't know that you have. But
my grandmother, who was ninety seven, you know, wound up
being as as dementia began to take its course in hospice,
which were very grateful for was there. You know, was
(02:50):
helpful because it does become a challenge around the clock
because it's around the clock, you know, care that is needed, and.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Your life still continues, still have to go to work,
and your kids still have to go to school. It's
really hard to fit in something so important.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
And early on my grandmother was not really happy about it,
being what she called strangers until she got to you know,
know them. But then yeah, you know, then she got
really comfortable with that. And you know, I mean, just
being there is everything and somebody being there beyond the
medical care like you're talking about. I think that's really beautiful.
And your grandfather was much the same, Jody.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Oh, yes, we had a lot, you know, we.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
His children, especially my mom and her siblings, really were
with him as much as possible, and he loved visitors.
It made the huge difference to him. I looked it
up because when I when I heard the word doula
in this story, my first thought is pregnancy. Yeah, my
first thought is that sort of when I've.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Heard of the word, Yeah, that's what I connected.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
We always about that.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Doula is a non medical professional trained to provide continuous physical, emotional,
and informative support to a person before, during, or after
child birth. Is the for a you know, a pregnancy
doula And that's the most common form of doula, which
is also a wonderful, you know thing for a lot
of women who choose to have someone that person is
(04:11):
very educated, just doesn't hold a medical degree.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Are there any other areas where they have doula's.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Not that I've seen, not that I've seen. Like I said,
this is the first time I've ever heard of end.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
Of life dula's.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
But it is beautiful, you know, and hopefully someone that
you would trust. And I would think somebody that you
would would end up meaning a lot to you, you know. Anyway,
I just thought it was interesting because she's someone that
I love, Nicole. I'll always read a story about Nicole
Kimman what's going on with her, And I thought it
was really cool for her to share such a vulnerable
side interest. We all have side interests, right that sometimes
(04:45):
you don't even want to say because if you can
never make it happen, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
I thought it was kind of cool that she said it.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Yeah, did she ever give any more information? Like this
is why I want to do it.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Because of what she saw her mother, Oh, her mom,
which is the big one, I.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Mean, And that makes sense to me. I mean, once
you've that, you understand the power of that right, the giving.
There's really nothing complex about that other than just being there.
And it's It's the same way when you have volunteers
who go into assisted living homes and visit with the
elderly there and know it's all of that really does.
The social aspect, the companionship, that support makes the difference,
(05:20):
especially when someone has outlived all of their friends, yeah,
and some of their family members, and you know, I
mean it's yeah, it's a difference. It's a difference maker.
I know my grandmother was connected, as you know Jody
until she and still until dementia really started to take
its full course on her. You know, she the interaction,
She thrived in the in the interaction and loved it.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
Anyway.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
I just think it's interesting because you don't hear a
lot of people that famous give away there what they
would do or what they want to do once they
stop their craft and trade. And so that's what she
has said, which I think is super cool. Do you
have any side interests that that you've never spoken to
anyone that you would.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Do only flying into space of course not.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Yeah, we know that.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
I want to know that one.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
I do know that one.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, Murphy, any side interest that you have never even
thought to speak to anyone, because we don't know if
Nicole Kimman we'll go on and do this or not.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
She just said, I have a serious interest in it.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah, I guess it depends on you know, where you
are in life. You'll have fleeting thoughts of things. I
guess until you're there, you really don't know how you
want to occupy your time. I think it's a very
healthy thing for somebody in retirement, if they're in you know,
true retirement or partially retired or whatever, to spend time
doing those things because it keeps you mentally active and healthy. Too.
(06:42):
Giving to somebody else actually winds up feeding you too.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
One because it gives you purpose.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Yeah, I think the bigger picture part of it, what
it speaks to is just volunteerism in general and how
important that is. And we're so busy with our own schedules.
It's tough to carve out time for that, especially when
you're in the middle of your working life and raising
kids and you know, trying to juggle and create. You know,
volunteer time is challenging. But something to me that I
(07:09):
don't want to see that simple. If you are naturally compassionate,
I think sitting there and just being there for somebody,
a stranger could make a huge difference.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
That's a really good time in your life. It once
you've retired to do some sort of volunteer work that's
always called to you because there's so much need. You know,
that day that Taylor, our oldest daughter, who she volunteered
at like a soup kitchen, and she did it more
than once. She really loved it, and she did it
as part of a project for her. She's in grad school,
(07:42):
but she's she was her eyes were just opened to
you know, the whole process and all the different people
coming in and the rules and the regulations, and she
just showed up and volunteered and did whatever she was told.
But she said there were quite a few older volunteers
who just show up three times a week, and she
said they really knew what was up. They really knew,
you know, the older lady there really knew what to
(08:04):
say to someone who was being belligerent. They knew what
to say to someone you can't take three bags. You
can only take one bag, like one little lunch bag
to go. Because they offered some of those like after
they ate, you know, in the hall, in the dining
hall that was on the way out, here's a you know,
here's a sandwich and an.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
Apple for later.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
And they would they would have people trying to take
two and three and four and you have to kindly explain,
you know, one on your way out. And she said
she didn't know what to do. And Taylor didn't know
what to do in that moment. But the older lady
who was volunteering, who volunteered three times a week, was
handled it beautifully.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
She knew what to do, what to do, She knew
what to do, you know.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
And Taylor also volunteering for the crisis hotlines, which are
you know, it's that's done by text, not answering the
phone is something that she's she's loved doing too, because
it's the same thing. You're not actually giving direction, you're listening.
It's another form of what you're talking about, just at
a different stage and a different place. I'm of life,
(09:00):
So there are there's so many different ways that you
that you can do it. I love knowing that that's
what And it doesn't surprise me when you get to
a certain age, especially when you've been through that. Like
you said, if, the if, the if. The whole reason
for this is that, you know, experiencing that with her mom,
it sparks something, right. Nothing is a greater incentive to
do something than you actually going through and experience in
(09:21):
it yourself, because you see the difference that something like.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
A true motivation and sort of to dig in a
little more to answer kind of your question, Sam, the
only correct statement we got is that she says she
is she is training.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
To become a death. Oh so she's already she's training.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Because she didn't go into specific specifics about what that
training actually is.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Beautiful missed any part of the show.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Get it All on the Murphy, Sam and Jody Podcast.
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