April 15, 2026 • 15 mins
How to be in a serious relationship with your bedtime routine. 🙏
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Murphy, Sam and Jody after the show podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
If a good night's sleep elude you, or if a
good night's sleep is what you need the most, take
it from a girl who is in a relationship with
her bedtime routine. Murphy will tell you that at eight
thirty at night eight it doesn't matter if George Cloney
knocked on the door, I be like, I'm going to bed.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Sorry.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I'd be the one answering the door should be. I
would say, I'm sorry, George.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Did you bring Brad anyway? Okay, so I've read some
things lately. You know that the true story is a
couple of years ago, I finally got serious about my
bedtime routine.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
I used to just be laxa daisical. People would say
what time do you go to bed? And I would
say whenever I can.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
And when the kids were little Murphy, it was whenever
I could, literally when we could get them to sleep
and all the things were done. And that's where mothers live.
I mean, you you sleep when you can. And sometimes
I would stay up once everybody did finally go to sleep,
just to have that special stolen time of my own
right with with you know, career and children.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Sometimes you don't.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
You only want twenty minutes to do whatever. Look at
you know, what's on TV or streaming or something.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
That's just time to breathe a little bit. That's you.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
You feel like you chose well.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
You know, our kids are on with their lives right
now and it's a sweet spot. And I realized I
had this opportunity, and I felt like I wasn't getting
enough sleep, And I really do believe in the power
of it.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
You know, there's a whole lot of science to back it.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
You can take supplements, you can try the greatest and latest,
newest thing, but if you're not getting the right amount
of sleep, everything in your life will suffer because it
is when your body repairs itself. Period, It's when your
mind repairs itself. So you have to sleep good as
good as you can for everything else to fall into place.
So I got serious about it. It's probably one of
(01:52):
the most important things I've ever done for myself.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
I do go to bed.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
On time, Like when the kids have something schedule and
there's a family dinner and they want to start at
like seven thirty and eight, I'm like, even on the weekends,
I'm like, for real, and so on the weekends, we'll
blow it out a little bit. Every once in a
while we get invited to something big, but the regular.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
You can still do that. Again, to frame this, you're
getting up very early in the morning, three forty five,
three fifty three forty five in the morning, and so
Monday through Friday, it's very difficult to get eight hours
of sleep if you don't. If you try to keep
quote unquote regular out right by Saturday and Sunday, we
can fudge it a little bit because you know, you
don't have to get up as early the next day.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
You can fudge it.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
But my body still talks to me like, sure, it's
eight thirty, what are you doing. You know, it's wonderful.
The body clock really lives and breathes. So what I'm
doing and what I've been reading about, which is incredible,
I'm gonna drop the first one on you that people
who have in studies where people have done this, they
(02:55):
didn't want to do it, but they put their phone
in another room. You're not suppose to sleep with your
device next to you. You're not supposed to sleep with
it under your pillow. If you were to charge it
in another part of your home, you would sleep better.
Problem is, can anybody do that? I don't want to
do that.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Well, I mean, it depends on how you have your
phone configured. My phone doesn't bother me in the middle
of the night. The only the only people that if
they call, are going to actually will cause my phone
to ring would be our daughters and anybody in this room.
And that's pretty much it, you know. I mean, and
there may be other handful of people that you know,
I would expect to be kind of on call for,
(03:32):
but those are the only ones that'll ring my phone.
My phone doesn't bother me in the middle night. I
wonder if that's more biological. Well, I was going to say,
the psychological part may be that you roll over and
you're you wake up for a second and just out
of habit, grab your phone before going back to sleep.
I would think that's a self induced problem, not as
much a you know, you should put it across the room.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Sam's excited that he made the list. I could tell.
He smiled and said that he.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Was going to get to night at eleven and call.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
He answers, yeah, anyway, Yeah, they've said, you know, if
you if it's near you you're more likely to be
you know, it's it's going to enter your brain, that
it's there and let me doom scroll or even though
or if you receive a text in the middle of
the night, I could text late from family that I
don't answer until the early next you know, early the
next morning. But if the light comes on and it
(04:18):
disrupts your sleep, it can disrupt your sleep, and it's psychological.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I can see that if it's lighting up. But again,
there are enough settings in your phone that you can
keep that from happening, and you can you can choose
emergency favorites whatever you want to call it, the context
and eliminate all of that.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Yeah, I'm not saying you have to do it. I'm
not saying that anybody.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
But if you ever thought, you know, if you want
your children to get a better night sleep, take their
phones from them.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
At night, Well that's that's a difference, you know. Setting
to me, the reason you would want to keep you know,
your phone by you, I mean if single or not,
if you have an emergency, you need to be able
to make a call, right if you have your phones
across the room. And I'm saying it's to me, they've
designed Android and iPhone in ways now where you can
actually change those settings and make it better. You know
(05:02):
for yourself, that's just a study.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Nobody's going to take your phone from you, I promise no.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
What I'm saying is, it's the core of what you're
saying there is that the phone is what's disrupting. If
you program your phone where it doesn't do that to you,
and you've got the willpower, as you said, not to
pick it up and doom scroll in the middle of
the night, then you know then it's not likely going
to interrupt sleep.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Other things to know that wreck people sleep without them
realizing temperature of the room.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
Talked about that definitely.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
One hundred million times.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
You can sleep in a cool room much more easily
and better than you can in a hot room. It's
really difficult to sleep when it's hot.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Even in the winter time. We keep our fan running
now because if I don't have moving air to sleep,
I don't sleep well.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
I keep two fans running during the spring and summer
on you or just a fan, and then I have
one of those little oscillating fans.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Nice and the air conditioners on rights.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah, And if you try to sleep in a still
no moving air room.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
It's weird.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
I notice right away.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
It's what you get used to. It's about body temperature.
Though the temperature of the room is about your body.
You can't really get into real sleep until your body
temperature dips to a certain level, which is what the
sticking your foot out of the covers thing is. I
love that piece of scientific information. When you naturally are
trying to get comfortable and it feels better for one
(06:23):
of your legs or both to be out from under
the covers, that's about your body temperature.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
I love that. I love it so much.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
So if you do that tonight, can you sleep with
your legs stuck together under the sheets?
Speaker 2 (06:34):
No?
Speaker 3 (06:34):
I don't like it either.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
I like put a sheet there or something there. Yeah.
The other thing your bedfellows. And we had that problem
a long time ago when we did let dogs sleep
with us, and it was just like no, never again.
We haven't for years slept with animals in the bed
with us, you know, And that's.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
A personal decision.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Sometimes you want to cuddle with the pet, but they
do and can mess with.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Your sleep definitely. Who are you sleeping with a cat?
Speaker 4 (07:01):
Well? Yeah, the cat? Yeah, I mean when when Aboo
gets up and crawls into his space, you know, where
I'm sleeping, It's like in the crook of my arm.
It's like, oh so sweet, it feels so great. But then,
you know, like at two in the morning, when he decides, hey,
you know what, I need to clean myself right now?
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Right? Yeah, gets episodes making biscuits. As my mom used
to say, like you know, pressing up and down. They're
mimicking the action of nursing when they do that when
they're making biscuits, which is sweet because it means that
they think of you as like a mother.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Well, I mimic the action of helping him off the bed.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
At Okay, okay, some bad fellows. But bad fellows doesn't
just mean pats. It means who are you sleeping with?
Are they snoring? Are they tossing and turning? Are they
do you sleep with someone who talks in their sleep?
You know, there's a million things you need to think
about if you're not getting.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
You know, we've been really lucky about that, neither you
or talking in our sleep. Every now and then I'll
have a dream that wakes me up that causes me
to make a noise carry infrequently, but you know that happens.
But outside of.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
That, Yeah, I actually don't sleep well when you're out
of town, Murphy. You know that it's just the difference.
And I can even lay the pillows and I'm even
you know, having the you know, the little couple of
days of Oh, I can do what I want. I
have to cook, you know, I can watch sex in
the city all night, whatever I want to do. And
then but I still don't sleep as well because I'm
(08:21):
so used to sleeping next to you. Yeah, I know,
I put the fake pillows there and all that stuff,
so bedfellows, temperature lights in the room. Do you have
to sleep in with a little night light because supposedly,
even any light you let in it messes with your
body's rhythm to fall asleep.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
It's better to sleep in darkness.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah, I can't do that.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
I know.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
There's got to be I mean, because if it's pitch
black and I get up, I'm going to trip on something,
I'm going to bump into something. There's got to be
enough light where I can. You know, I'm not going
to Yeah, you know, because by that point then you've
really disrupted your sleep.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
I've gotten used to that.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
When I was a little girl, it was my favorite
thing in the world to spend the night with my grandparents.
And I would sleep with my grandmother and my pappa
would sleep in the other room, and after a while
I he'd be like, what are your kids leaving? But
I remember lying there next to her, and she would
turn the lights out come like pitch black, and it
was scary to me because I had a night light
(09:20):
in my room at home, but I was at her
house and her rules, and I was like, Mama, this
is so dark. She says, baby, just wait a second.
In a few minutes, your eyes will adjust to the light.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
And you know what she was right.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
After a while, I adjusted to the room and to
the light. And I think about her sometimes when I meant,
you know when things are really dark, because I'm not
used to it, because I'm married to you now and
you have a little little night.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Light and it doesn't need to be like bright light.
I don't. I don't want anything, you know, bright keep
me awake. It's just enough to be able to walk
when you're been on that trip.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
But anyway, I'm really in a relationship with my bedtime routine,
and it is it is a thing that I do
with myself every night, Like Murphy knows it. It's the
dark shower I do. That's not scientific because it's something I.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Still do dark.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Oh, I really do a dark shower before back.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Yeah. And I've tried it on and off, and it's
not really dark. Dark. When you say when you say dark,
and you would think that all the lights are, that's
not what it is. She's just not turning the light on.
That's in the shower itself. So there's she's the one
in the bathroom itself, stays on with the shower.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
So when I step out, I can see the rug,
I can see my towel, But when the water is
warm and coming down on me and I'm bathing with
the body wash, it's dark. I like that so much
because it's it's a sensory thing. It does help you
calm down, as opposed to a bright shower.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Yeah, and I was really questioning that one at first,
but it's interesting at the end of the day when
you do have intense light on you, even though it's
artificial light and it's not it's soft white. I can't
deal with the harsh what they call daylight, which is
really that more bluish kind of you know light. I can't.
I just can't deal with that. But but I've tried
what Jody's talking about, and so I just turn off
(11:02):
the light in the shower itself.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah, and well it's weird. It's just enough where I
don't know, you feel when you get out, you're like
really starting to ramp down for bed versus.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
Details matter.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Think about when you get a massage, the lights are low,
they're soft music, you know, details matter. That's and so
that's just a detail. I love a dark shower.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Now have you tried that, samm Er. You're a moodlight person.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
Mood light. But when I take a bath and I
have the I like the blue blue lights. I accept
my lights to blue. So when I take a bath,
there's nothing else on in the bathroom except the blue
light over so it's kind of like half a light.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yes, rightly.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
And I have my nightstand. I usually keep that one
blue at night. Okay, not while I sleep.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
But while I'm getting ready for bed, right because to.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Me, that that's a relax color. Typically it doesn't work,
but to me, that color chills me out.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Well, if it chills you out, that's all that matters.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
I don't worry about something.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Blue is a relaxing color. It's a calm color. It's
supposed to be anyway, purp. Yes, So definitely do the
dark shower, and I definitely read a little bit before bed,
but not try not to ever on the screen, on
a screen on my kindle or an actual book, because
that actually also does you know, it shuts out noise,
but it also gives it tires your eyes out. I've
(12:19):
got several things I'm reading anyway that I'm really enjoying.
That's the only thing is frustratings. I want another chapter,
but my body is telling me to go to sleep.
So all those little things, you know.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Even the blue light filters that you can, you know,
put on your screens for your phone, which is what
I do also, and I do that with the computer
screen also. I have it going to if I'm working
on the computer at night, into that softer mode that's
not the intense blue lights that they say scientifically actually
does prove keeps your brain activity up and going. So
but even that, I'm better off not being on the screen,
(12:49):
as I've seen. If I'm reading a paper book, then
I'm you know, going to fall asleep. If I'm working
at all on my phone or trying to knock out
last minute email computer or phone, I'm not going to sleep.
And it's crazy.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
And that emulated your brain.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
That's even with the blue light filter on. I mean,
my screen's almost orange, you know, and you've got so
a little blue light in it.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
And then of course we sleep with rain sounds. I
can't sleep without them now, I cannot do it. And
there are other options. There's rainforests, there's ocean, but we
happen to. We happen to like rain sounds.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
When if the internet goes out for some reason, it
goes silent, it wakes you up for real.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Yeah, anyway, it's something that you don't You can't just
hope for it. You have to plan and get serious
about getting a good night's sleep. And I only say
this because I read about it all the time, but
I know I'm doing it. I'm in a relationship with
my bedtime routine so much so.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Murphy.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Still it's been two years now that I made this
change in my life, and Murphy will still walk into
the bedroom going.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Are you going to bed already? I'm just like, have
you met me?
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Yeah? You know if you have played around both both
Android and and Apple. I mean kudos to them, not
only for what we were talking about earlier with the calls,
but sleep health is actually integrated into your phone. If
you set it up, mine will flag me, tell me
when it's time to go to bed. It knows you know,
it will do the start in, and it intelligently now
(14:18):
will tell you. It actually intelligently knows when it's the
weekend and not somehow. But but but all of those
things are really built in, baked in. Maybe it's because
of the science and all that you know in the phone.
Do you have your is your set up for any
of that? Sam?
Speaker 2 (14:34):
No?
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Really, Yeah, I don't have this.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
I don't have it to tell me when it's time
for bed or when to wake I mean, I have
my my body and tell me right.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
But it's got the whole default setting thing in it.
That's I mean, I didn't actually even set it that
way when I first got the phone. It kind of
it told me what it was going to do. But yeah,
sleep and wake up, and it wants to know what
that you know, what that'st what that cycle is and when,
and then everything else associated with the phone the phone
itself will kick itself and sleep mode because it knows
(15:01):
that's what I'm supposed to be going to bed. So
I guess I'm just saying that, Joey to let you
know there are ways, there are tools that can actually
help you if you struggle with that, because I am
one of those where you know I am. If I'm
in a project, I don't care what time it is.
I'm focused. I'm in the zone I go until I
until until the project's done, yeah, and or until I
collapse one of the two. It just depends. So so
(15:25):
I need those kinds of reminders to, you know, to
flag and I.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Think that's what happens.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Whenever you walk in, you're like you're going to bed
already because you're not paying attentions at the time.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
But I most definitely am
Welcome to Murphy, Sam and Jody after the show podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
If a good night's sleep elude you, or if a
good night's sleep is what you need the most, take
it from a girl who is in a relationship with
her bedtime routine. Murphy will tell you that at eight
thirty at night eight it doesn't matter if George Cloney
knocked on the door, I be like, I'm going to bed.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Sorry.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I'd be the one answering the door should be. I
would say, I'm sorry, George.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Did you bring Brad anyway? Okay, so I've read some
things lately. You know that the true story is a
couple of years ago, I finally got serious about my
bedtime routine.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
I used to just be laxa daisical. People would say
what time do you go to bed? And I would
say whenever I can.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
And when the kids were little Murphy, it was whenever
I could, literally when we could get them to sleep
and all the things were done. And that's where mothers live.
I mean, you you sleep when you can. And sometimes
I would stay up once everybody did finally go to sleep,
just to have that special stolen time of my own
right with with you know, career and children.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Sometimes you don't.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
You only want twenty minutes to do whatever. Look at
you know, what's on TV or streaming or something.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
That's just time to breathe a little bit. That's you.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
You feel like you chose well.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
You know, our kids are on with their lives right
now and it's a sweet spot. And I realized I
had this opportunity, and I felt like I wasn't getting
enough sleep, And I really do believe in the power
of it.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
You know, there's a whole lot of science to back it.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
You can take supplements, you can try the greatest and latest,
newest thing, but if you're not getting the right amount
of sleep, everything in your life will suffer because it
is when your body repairs itself. Period, It's when your
mind repairs itself. So you have to sleep good as
good as you can for everything else to fall into place.
So I got serious about it. It's probably one of
(01:52):
the most important things I've ever done for myself.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
I do go to bed.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
On time, Like when the kids have something schedule and
there's a family dinner and they want to start at
like seven thirty and eight, I'm like, even on the weekends,
I'm like, for real, and so on the weekends, we'll
blow it out a little bit. Every once in a
while we get invited to something big, but the regular.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
You can still do that. Again, to frame this, you're
getting up very early in the morning, three forty five,
three fifty three forty five in the morning, and so
Monday through Friday, it's very difficult to get eight hours
of sleep if you don't. If you try to keep
quote unquote regular out right by Saturday and Sunday, we
can fudge it a little bit because you know, you
don't have to get up as early the next day.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
You can fudge it.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
But my body still talks to me like, sure, it's
eight thirty, what are you doing. You know, it's wonderful.
The body clock really lives and breathes. So what I'm
doing and what I've been reading about, which is incredible,
I'm gonna drop the first one on you that people
who have in studies where people have done this, they
(02:55):
didn't want to do it, but they put their phone
in another room. You're not suppose to sleep with your
device next to you. You're not supposed to sleep with
it under your pillow. If you were to charge it
in another part of your home, you would sleep better.
Problem is, can anybody do that? I don't want to
do that.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Well, I mean, it depends on how you have your
phone configured. My phone doesn't bother me in the middle
of the night. The only the only people that if
they call, are going to actually will cause my phone
to ring would be our daughters and anybody in this room.
And that's pretty much it, you know. I mean, and
there may be other handful of people that you know,
I would expect to be kind of on call for,
(03:32):
but those are the only ones that'll ring my phone.
My phone doesn't bother me in the middle night. I
wonder if that's more biological. Well, I was going to say,
the psychological part may be that you roll over and
you're you wake up for a second and just out
of habit, grab your phone before going back to sleep.
I would think that's a self induced problem, not as
much a you know, you should put it across the room.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Sam's excited that he made the list. I could tell.
He smiled and said that he.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Was going to get to night at eleven and call.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
He answers, yeah, anyway, Yeah, they've said, you know, if
you if it's near you you're more likely to be
you know, it's it's going to enter your brain, that
it's there and let me doom scroll or even though
or if you receive a text in the middle of
the night, I could text late from family that I
don't answer until the early next you know, early the
next morning. But if the light comes on and it
(04:18):
disrupts your sleep, it can disrupt your sleep, and it's psychological.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I can see that if it's lighting up. But again,
there are enough settings in your phone that you can
keep that from happening, and you can you can choose
emergency favorites whatever you want to call it, the context
and eliminate all of that.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Yeah, I'm not saying you have to do it. I'm
not saying that anybody.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
But if you ever thought, you know, if you want
your children to get a better night sleep, take their
phones from them.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
At night, Well that's that's a difference, you know. Setting
to me, the reason you would want to keep you know,
your phone by you, I mean if single or not,
if you have an emergency, you need to be able
to make a call, right if you have your phones
across the room. And I'm saying it's to me, they've
designed Android and iPhone in ways now where you can
actually change those settings and make it better. You know
(05:02):
for yourself, that's just a study.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Nobody's going to take your phone from you, I promise no.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
What I'm saying is, it's the core of what you're
saying there is that the phone is what's disrupting. If
you program your phone where it doesn't do that to you,
and you've got the willpower, as you said, not to
pick it up and doom scroll in the middle of
the night, then you know then it's not likely going
to interrupt sleep.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Other things to know that wreck people sleep without them
realizing temperature of the room.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
Talked about that definitely.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
One hundred million times.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
You can sleep in a cool room much more easily
and better than you can in a hot room. It's
really difficult to sleep when it's hot.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Even in the winter time. We keep our fan running
now because if I don't have moving air to sleep,
I don't sleep well.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
I keep two fans running during the spring and summer
on you or just a fan, and then I have
one of those little oscillating fans.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Nice and the air conditioners on rights.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah, And if you try to sleep in a still
no moving air room.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
It's weird.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
I notice right away.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
It's what you get used to. It's about body temperature.
Though the temperature of the room is about your body.
You can't really get into real sleep until your body
temperature dips to a certain level, which is what the
sticking your foot out of the covers thing is. I
love that piece of scientific information. When you naturally are
trying to get comfortable and it feels better for one
(06:23):
of your legs or both to be out from under
the covers, that's about your body temperature.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
I love that. I love it so much.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
So if you do that tonight, can you sleep with
your legs stuck together under the sheets?
Speaker 2 (06:34):
No?
Speaker 3 (06:34):
I don't like it either.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
I like put a sheet there or something there. Yeah.
The other thing your bedfellows. And we had that problem
a long time ago when we did let dogs sleep
with us, and it was just like no, never again.
We haven't for years slept with animals in the bed
with us, you know, And that's.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
A personal decision.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Sometimes you want to cuddle with the pet, but they
do and can mess with.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Your sleep definitely. Who are you sleeping with a cat?
Speaker 4 (07:01):
Well? Yeah, the cat? Yeah, I mean when when Aboo
gets up and crawls into his space, you know, where
I'm sleeping, It's like in the crook of my arm.
It's like, oh so sweet, it feels so great. But then,
you know, like at two in the morning, when he decides, hey,
you know what, I need to clean myself right now?
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Right? Yeah, gets episodes making biscuits. As my mom used
to say, like you know, pressing up and down. They're
mimicking the action of nursing when they do that when
they're making biscuits, which is sweet because it means that
they think of you as like a mother.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Well, I mimic the action of helping him off the bed.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
At Okay, okay, some bad fellows. But bad fellows doesn't
just mean pats. It means who are you sleeping with?
Are they snoring? Are they tossing and turning? Are they
do you sleep with someone who talks in their sleep?
You know, there's a million things you need to think
about if you're not getting.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
You know, we've been really lucky about that, neither you
or talking in our sleep. Every now and then I'll
have a dream that wakes me up that causes me
to make a noise carry infrequently, but you know that happens.
But outside of.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
That, Yeah, I actually don't sleep well when you're out
of town, Murphy. You know that it's just the difference.
And I can even lay the pillows and I'm even
you know, having the you know, the little couple of
days of Oh, I can do what I want. I
have to cook, you know, I can watch sex in
the city all night, whatever I want to do. And
then but I still don't sleep as well because I'm
(08:21):
so used to sleeping next to you. Yeah, I know,
I put the fake pillows there and all that stuff,
so bedfellows, temperature lights in the room. Do you have
to sleep in with a little night light because supposedly,
even any light you let in it messes with your
body's rhythm to fall asleep.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
It's better to sleep in darkness.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah, I can't do that.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
I know.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
There's got to be I mean, because if it's pitch
black and I get up, I'm going to trip on something,
I'm going to bump into something. There's got to be
enough light where I can. You know, I'm not going
to Yeah, you know, because by that point then you've
really disrupted your sleep.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
I've gotten used to that.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
When I was a little girl, it was my favorite
thing in the world to spend the night with my grandparents.
And I would sleep with my grandmother and my pappa
would sleep in the other room, and after a while
I he'd be like, what are your kids leaving? But
I remember lying there next to her, and she would
turn the lights out come like pitch black, and it
was scary to me because I had a night light
(09:20):
in my room at home, but I was at her
house and her rules, and I was like, Mama, this
is so dark. She says, baby, just wait a second.
In a few minutes, your eyes will adjust to the light.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
And you know what she was right.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
After a while, I adjusted to the room and to
the light. And I think about her sometimes when I meant,
you know when things are really dark, because I'm not
used to it, because I'm married to you now and
you have a little little night.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Light and it doesn't need to be like bright light.
I don't. I don't want anything, you know, bright keep
me awake. It's just enough to be able to walk
when you're been on that trip.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
But anyway, I'm really in a relationship with my bedtime routine,
and it is it is a thing that I do
with myself every night, Like Murphy knows it. It's the
dark shower I do. That's not scientific because it's something I.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Still do dark.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Oh, I really do a dark shower before back.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Yeah. And I've tried it on and off, and it's
not really dark. Dark. When you say when you say dark,
and you would think that all the lights are, that's
not what it is. She's just not turning the light on.
That's in the shower itself. So there's she's the one
in the bathroom itself, stays on with the shower.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
So when I step out, I can see the rug,
I can see my towel, But when the water is
warm and coming down on me and I'm bathing with
the body wash, it's dark. I like that so much
because it's it's a sensory thing. It does help you
calm down, as opposed to a bright shower.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Yeah, and I was really questioning that one at first,
but it's interesting at the end of the day when
you do have intense light on you, even though it's
artificial light and it's not it's soft white. I can't
deal with the harsh what they call daylight, which is
really that more bluish kind of you know light. I can't.
I just can't deal with that. But but I've tried
what Jody's talking about, and so I just turn off
(11:02):
the light in the shower itself.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah, and well it's weird. It's just enough where I
don't know, you feel when you get out, you're like
really starting to ramp down for bed versus.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
Details matter.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Think about when you get a massage, the lights are low,
they're soft music, you know, details matter. That's and so
that's just a detail. I love a dark shower.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Now have you tried that, samm Er. You're a moodlight person.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
Mood light. But when I take a bath and I
have the I like the blue blue lights. I accept
my lights to blue. So when I take a bath,
there's nothing else on in the bathroom except the blue
light over so it's kind of like half a light.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yes, rightly.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
And I have my nightstand. I usually keep that one
blue at night. Okay, not while I sleep.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
But while I'm getting ready for bed, right because to.
Speaker 4 (11:48):
Me, that that's a relax color. Typically it doesn't work,
but to me, that color chills me out.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Well, if it chills you out, that's all that matters.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
I don't worry about something.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Blue is a relaxing color. It's a calm color. It's
supposed to be anyway, purp. Yes, So definitely do the
dark shower, and I definitely read a little bit before bed,
but not try not to ever on the screen, on
a screen on my kindle or an actual book, because
that actually also does you know, it shuts out noise,
but it also gives it tires your eyes out. I've
(12:19):
got several things I'm reading anyway that I'm really enjoying.
That's the only thing is frustratings. I want another chapter,
but my body is telling me to go to sleep.
So all those little things, you know.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Even the blue light filters that you can, you know,
put on your screens for your phone, which is what
I do also, and I do that with the computer
screen also. I have it going to if I'm working
on the computer at night, into that softer mode that's
not the intense blue lights that they say scientifically actually
does prove keeps your brain activity up and going. So
but even that, I'm better off not being on the screen,
(12:49):
as I've seen. If I'm reading a paper book, then
I'm you know, going to fall asleep. If I'm working
at all on my phone or trying to knock out
last minute email computer or phone, I'm not going to sleep.
And it's crazy.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
And that emulated your brain.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
That's even with the blue light filter on. I mean,
my screen's almost orange, you know, and you've got so
a little blue light in it.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
And then of course we sleep with rain sounds. I
can't sleep without them now, I cannot do it. And
there are other options. There's rainforests, there's ocean, but we
happen to. We happen to like rain sounds.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
When if the internet goes out for some reason, it
goes silent, it wakes you up for real.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Yeah, anyway, it's something that you don't You can't just
hope for it. You have to plan and get serious
about getting a good night's sleep. And I only say
this because I read about it all the time, but
I know I'm doing it. I'm in a relationship with
my bedtime routine so much so.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Murphy.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Still it's been two years now that I made this
change in my life, and Murphy will still walk into
the bedroom going.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Are you going to bed already? I'm just like, have
you met me?
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Yeah? You know if you have played around both both
Android and and Apple. I mean kudos to them, not
only for what we were talking about earlier with the calls,
but sleep health is actually integrated into your phone. If
you set it up, mine will flag me, tell me
when it's time to go to bed. It knows you know,
it will do the start in, and it intelligently now
(14:18):
will tell you. It actually intelligently knows when it's the
weekend and not somehow. But but but all of those
things are really built in, baked in. Maybe it's because
of the science and all that you know in the phone.
Do you have your is your set up for any
of that? Sam?
Speaker 2 (14:34):
No?
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Really, Yeah, I don't have this.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
I don't have it to tell me when it's time
for bed or when to wake I mean, I have
my my body and tell me right.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
But it's got the whole default setting thing in it.
That's I mean, I didn't actually even set it that
way when I first got the phone. It kind of
it told me what it was going to do. But yeah,
sleep and wake up, and it wants to know what
that you know, what that'st what that cycle is and when,
and then everything else associated with the phone the phone
itself will kick itself and sleep mode because it knows
(15:01):
that's what I'm supposed to be going to bed. So
I guess I'm just saying that, Joey to let you
know there are ways, there are tools that can actually
help you if you struggle with that, because I am
one of those where you know I am. If I'm
in a project, I don't care what time it is.
I'm focused. I'm in the zone I go until I
until until the project's done, yeah, and or until I
collapse one of the two. It just depends. So so
(15:25):
I need those kinds of reminders to, you know, to
flag and I.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Think that's what happens.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Whenever you walk in, you're like you're going to bed
already because you're not paying attentions at the time.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
But I most definitely am
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