July 17, 2026 • 22 mins
Constant notifications. Being ON all the time. Technology. It has us all wishing we could go back to a simpler time. We can. MS&J help you get intentional about it, while staying connected.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Murphy Samon Jodi after the show podcast, Let's.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Talk about the way we live today, and we mean
all of us as a society, as a group, based
on one little story we did in Three Things to
Know Today. This psychiatrist, and he's a gen xer saying
it's not we don't miss the seventies or the eighties.
You don't really miss the eighties and nineties, any of
those times. What you miss is the feeling of being
(00:26):
in the moment and unreachable and not so overly notified
of everything.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
What you miss is life before this What you miss.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
What you misses the space in between things. That's what's
not well.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Put, Murphy, well put.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
All slowness of those lives.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Don't we all feel it?
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I mean yeah, I mean I think we do. And
even if you weren't you alive during that time, I mean,
I'm sure millennials feel the same way. I mean, you're
really you're only talking about a really small snapshot of
the generation of the last fifteen years that actually has
had the constant interruption, constant you know contact. Maybe you
could even treat that to ten. I mean, it's really
only been in the the you know, the post smartphone, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat,
(01:12):
that age right which you're talking twenty twelve, twenty thirteen,
where that really began to really start to take off, but.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
To really self regulate.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
And I don't know if we're wired to be that
way or we're just wired to be reactive. When it
feels like this is the way we live, you feel
like you're stuck in it.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Well, don't they say? They are, like, you know, kind
of weird little dopamine releases. Even though it's stressful to
stay on your phone, it's like these weird little releases.
I don't know, but your brain does that keep you? Honestly,
if you know. That's where they say these algorithms or
algorithms or however you say.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
It, algorithms. I never heard all correct.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
The algorithms are because it's all of it, right, Yeah,
it's all the algorithms. Yeah, are designed to keep you engaged.
And so if I mean, they already know the psychology
behind it, so obviously we're wired to do that. So yes,
you're right, I think it's just alf regulate. Yeah, difficult.
It's just as difficult probably to pull yourself away from
that as it is anything else that you are doing
(02:07):
too much of in your life. I feel like drinking whatever.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
It's the shoulds so perfect example is where we are today.
So we came back from vacation. We were gone mid July,
and we came back to work, to life, to the schedule,
to the constant notifications and being pulled on a couple
of days ago. And it feels like a long week
and it was only a few days. And I say
(02:30):
that because going from vacation where look, we filled the time.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
But it wasn't that. It wasn't work.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
It wasn't emails and this person needing this and this
person needing that, and always something on.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
There were a couple of times.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
This week where I felt very overwhelmed by what would
be my normal schedule. For instance, that night that I
canceled yoga. Murph, I don't ever cancel yoga because it's
one of the things that centers me and makes me
feel better in our overleas stimulated world. But it was
also I would have to get in the car and
get back into traffic to go to yoga, and I
(03:07):
was home. I was in shorts and a T shirts
standing there going you know what, I want to cook?
And so I canceled yoga and I stood in the
kitchen and I cooked, and it just felt so good
to just do that. And another thing that this psychiatrist says,
not being bombarded with constant news and notifications of what
we're missing, being unreachable, went away from home is what
(03:29):
we're missing. But also hobbies are doing regular things without
having to turn them into content. If you feel like
you're always you know, if you feel like, oh, well,
I did this great thing and maybe I should share it,
that's not something that happened.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
When we were growing up. Yeah, it happened in the moment.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
I was sharing my daily photo dump. Here's what I
did today.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Yeah, and what part of your brain?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
It's like we're rewired that that's the way that it
has to be, but it doesn't have to be.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
We choose it.
Speaker 5 (04:02):
This is kind of related, but when Sammy and I
were in Chicago, we went to the bean. You know
that mirror it's called the Love Your Picture kind of
cloud something, but it's like everybody's around it, everybody's taking
eight thousand pictures. We were doing that and Sammy and
I were just taking pictures of this and it's like, yeah, well,
I'll just delete the ones I don't want. Later on
at the hotel and me, I was like, you know,
(04:25):
there was a time where you got twenty four at
this and you didn't see him right away.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
You had to wait an hour or a week.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
In fact, that was beautiful because not only did you
have to wait, once you picked them up two weeks later,
you had a brand new moment with yourself reliving it
was a.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Fond memory, not an instant memory.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Another reason it's so funny to go, you know, look
at the historicals and things like that and realize that
there was a genuine excitement about one hour photo of
it was so much faster than sending it off for
seven days of getting pictures back. Yeah, that's a bygone time.
But there's a difference, I think in the ability to
take all the pictures. That's fantastic. I love that. I
(05:07):
love being able to capture every moment, and if I
don't want to delete, that's awesome And there's nothing that
stresses me out about that. I do see what you're saying, though, Jodie,
on the share part, the moment that you feel compelled
to this is another thing that you've got to do
so that's really with society.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
But you still are in society.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Yeah, and you can. There's nothing wrong with sharing. But
I think it's a difference in the mental trigger of
I've got to do this, I've got it, the more
I gotta and the shoulds.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Yeah, the shoulds drain you. It just pulls on you.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I'm not trying to bring up something emotional, and I
will not get emotional. But the other day I was thinking,
while I was online and having one of those what did.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
I pick this up for?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Like, if you're trying to manage three and four things
at one time, you're authenticating your passwords, whatever it may be.
We came back from being on vacation and I had
to re connect at work and such, and you know
that drains my brain more than creativity. Technical stuff wears
me out because it's not my lane, if you will.
I was doing all that stuff and just to get
(06:07):
on to start doing my work, I had to do
six steps. I was so tired. I thought my dad
would have hated this life. My dad died in nineteen
eighty nine. Never had a cell phone. I don't think
he ever flow on an airplane. You know, this life
that we live now with texting, I would have loved
(06:28):
to have had that. It brings you know, the technology
brings us a lot of advantages and benefits, but it
also drains us. We are constantly overloaded, which is not
good for the mind and the heart and the soul.
And don't you know he's somebody that is with me
all the time sort of, you know, I don't talk
about him a lot, but he would have hated that.
(06:50):
He would have hated it, and I'm glad for him
that he didn't have it.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Yeah, you know, because at least his life.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Was more peaceful. You know, when he would get one
more thing. When he would get home from work. He
would have a busy work day. He worked at a
plant and he was with people all day. He would
go out on our back porch and sit in a
rocking chair. That's what he did because that was the
place could as he could, and that's he even knew
to self care to do that when he got home.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Yeah, he didn't pick up a phone.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Well that makes me think of two things. One, you're right,
the technology is it's better. I wouldn't. I would not
choose the past over today because there are too many
good things about what we have today that are you know,
so much better, and I think we forget your phone
actually is equipped to give you the privacy that you
want if you need it, when you want it. You
know you can there do not disturb settings. There's you know,
(07:43):
I think every smartphone maker understands now how to make
that part of the lifestyle. And you know what, you
can turn off notifications so it's not as it's only
as out of control as we let it be, because
we actually we're still totally in control of it. You know,
on our phone you can shock people. Yeah. The second
thing that I you know, I would say is my dad.
I think about my dad and my grandfather and this
(08:05):
shows you different, you know, ways of thinking. My dad,
who passed away five years ago, he was that baby
boomer generation born in the nineteen forties, and he the
first time he got a digital camera, he was in
love with that. He loved not being restricted on the
amount of photos that he could take. And you know
that Jody from being around him that to every family gathering,
(08:26):
every everything, he would shoot picture after picture if that
was his thing. And so if he shot two hundred
pictures and he could then go home and look through
them later he was he loved it. You know, if
I think about my grandfather who passed away in the seventies,
he was his mind was that inventive kind of mind.
(08:48):
He's the kind of I really wish I had known
him as an adult, because he was always thinking, He
was always drawing out ideas. He was a natural creator,
and he would he would love of the present here
right now. He would probably actually know how to tackle
and make it balanced. He would be he would be
the one, you know, troubleshooting that kind of thing. And
(09:08):
even my grandmother, who lived to be ninety seven years old,
you know, totally embraced her computer and the you know,
the immediate connectivity. But she also, I mean she was
really old school. When she was done with the computer,
she turned it off off. It wasn't just like walk
away and let it go to the sleep. She turned
it off.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Sure is your mom still turn her phone off?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Sam?
Speaker 5 (09:29):
She silences it because well it's actually that she forgets
to turn it back to audio because when she's at
work she silences it with the kids, you know, and
then when she gets home she forgets to turn it
back on. So there's a lot of times you call
and you don't get her, and then three days later,
Hey you just called me. It's like, no, that was
three days ago. But sure, Yeah, let's talk that. That
(09:49):
surprises me. Her, by the way, she's eighty seven next week,
so I have a birthday. The fact that she's been
able to keep up, you know, with all of this stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Yeah, there's a certain amount of a person that's social
enough that you it's wonderful. And look, there is a
loneliness epidemic in our country. So whatever connects you, connection
is connection. Okay, But what I was going to say
is it's seeping into every part of our lives. It
is the epidemic, if you will, being sort of addicted
(10:20):
to technology, being sort of addicted to feeling like you
always have to be on one of another story that
we did this week earlier in the week in three
Things to Know Today, was that even tattoo artists are
seeing that it gets in the way. What they would
love is for you to put your device down completely
and leave it, don't even bring it, because they're having
(10:40):
to stop their work. And people who are getting tattoos
are constantly are not used to being down time, and
they're reaching for their devices the whole time, and it's like,
as soon as you move, I've messed up. And so
they constantly have to say, please don't move, Please don't move,
Please don't grab your device. So it seeps into every
(11:02):
single industry. You know, how many times have we seen
people behind customers, not not all, but like in work
in life, in retail, like just you know, looking at something,
maybe they're working, maybe they're not. But with a you know,
a nation of people just staring at a screen, well you.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Get in an elevator, it's what people automatically go to.
When you're talking about two really two different things that
create the same kind of stress. One is the constant
need that if I can't have to fill every moment.
But the one that you originally that you started this
podcast with about with notifications and interruptions and those kinds
of things that you know call our attention and that
we don't know how to do the downtime.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Are you just reactive to it?
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Yeah? You know, since I've switched back to iPhone, I
think that Apple does a great job with a couple
of different things they've They're very much about understanding how
things are today and excuse me, some people have you know,
fomo that you send a text message and then you
don't hear back, and then you start wondering, well, oh
my god, what are they? Why why am not I
hearing back? And that kind of thing. But you know,
(12:02):
you can actually set your you can set your iPhone
to say it'll it'll share your profile set up if
you need it to. In the profile I mean, is
your sound profile. If you're not accepting messages right now,
or you've got if your phone is silenced, it will
tell the other person that, oh, I didn't know exact
cool and so you know.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
I'm not accepting messages right now.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Well, and that's again, that's where I go back to
the technology itself is not bad. We just have to
learn how to use it. And I love that it's
continuing to evolve, that there's an acknowledgment that this is
going to be a problem if we don't. If you did,
if the only ability you had to silence notifications was
on off, that would be a horrible solution. You know,
you need to be able to be selective when you're
(12:42):
at work you need work notifications, or when you're at home,
or maybe when you're asleep at night, like, I've got
our phone set up that you know there were there.
There's a list of seven people who can call, and
my phone will ring at night. Jody, you would like
to know you're one of them.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
I think I'm number one, although all I have to
do is top.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Our daughters. Sam, you're actually one of those, right.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
I knew you were wondering if you're one of the people,
but I.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Think that that's one of those. Where But again, this
is the crazy part of it. I laughed thinking about this.
You actually have to somehow find the time to learn
how to do those settings, to configure your phone the
way that you want, you know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Let's go to here and then go down to here,
and then go down here, and it's like yeah, right,
but it's there, you know.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Well we've all felt it, you know, we in this life,
in this world, with these devices, we've all felt those
moments where it's pulling you unnaturally, like there's no reason,
there's no reason for you to grab it at a
red light, there's no reason for you to grab it
just when somebody's walking out of the room and they're
coming right back. But we are naturally wired that way.
(13:48):
We're getting naturally wired that way, and we have to
be intentional about let me do something else, let me breathe.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
I have This is kind of related to it, but
I have discovered that I have sort of a phone
anxiety now that like when I go to bed, I
put it on silent. I also have it set up
to ring just you know, for all.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
The are we on your? Are we on your?
Speaker 4 (14:10):
I will add you now, but I really need to add.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Murphy for technical reasons.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
If there's.
Speaker 5 (14:21):
But like I have it on a stand at night,
silent over there. I'm going to bed. But it's like,
while I'm in the middle of falling asleep, if I
hear the phone going no not Dan vibrate, I instantly
tense up, and it's like I don't check it. I've
gotten to the point of don't worry about it, but
it is instantly. I don't know if it's the Pavlov
(14:43):
thing or what, but it's like if I hear it vibrate, it's.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Like somebody needs me.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
What is it? What is it?
Speaker 4 (14:48):
Should I check it? No, You're not going to check it.
Go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
It's one of the reasons I'm so grateful that this
young that this generation is the mental health generation, and
how could they not be. They were born into this
tech anxiety. They were born into it, like born into
this is what life is? And when when? That's why
they say that so many young adults are very interested
in life in the seventies and the eighties, and they're
interested in going backwards into polaroid cameras, and they're interested
(15:15):
in vinyl and CDs because they want to know a
simpler way to enjoy the things that we all enjoy, and.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Just with different vehicles. We had different vehicles in the past.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yeah, I think, and I think that every generation thinks
that the generation that preceded them was a little more
dialed back, might have been a little more relaxed, might
have been a little bit more easy. My grandmother used
to say that she probably was actually very correct about
that than when she was growing up in the nineteen
twenties and the thirties. Yeah, life was pretty simple. Now.
(15:46):
There are, of course, a lot of not so great things.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Of course, healthcare, all the money facts.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
That you know, medicine that all those things that were
not greater. I mean, look at me before nineteen twenty two,
which is when insulin was discovered, if I'd have been
alive before then, I wouldn't have been alive for very long,
you know what I mean. And so so that's just
another example of how I.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Was told I would have died in childbirth. But I
was told that. I don't know if it's true.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
But I do think that, you know, I mean, even
though that there are some things that I'm such a
media freak, and YouTube I love so much that anything
that you want to see historically really lives. It lives
on in a better way today than it did even
twenty or twenty five years ago, because you've got access
(16:35):
to it now. You see what I'm saying is it's
like in the nineties, for example, you know that you
were either going to buy a VHS tape somewhere to
go watch something that you wanted to, or you had
to wait for it to actually come on one of
the cable channels or somebody doing some retro special. You
couldn't just go out and do your own, you know,
searching and experience music and video and TV and entertainment
(16:58):
and all of those things, you know, the way that
we do now, And I think that gives every generation
this sort of fantasy escape. You know, to experience what
they believe life would have been at that time. Sure,
but back to again the interruption thing. I didn't get
to tell you this yet, Jody, when because you'd gone
out of town to hang out with your cousins, you know,
(17:21):
Candice and Crystal. And that actually was a good speaking
of detaching, you know, I mean, that was a good detach.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
A little couple of days away with the girls. We
went to bed early, we shopped, we visited, we laughed, ate, drank.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
And so, you know, one day I realized that I
was trying to fill too much of my time like
I usually do, because for me, it's not only notifications,
it's task lists, which then going to my calendar. So
all of a sudden, the things that you create then
start calling back to you, you know what I mean.
And I decided that I wanted to try something I
hadn't done before, because I do these daily meditations with
(17:56):
the Daily Calm, and they're ten minutes and they're really
easy to do, and they're they're helpful when you stick
to them. But I was reading about people who will
do thirty minutes or an hour. Some people will do
eight hours in a row. And then of course there
are retreats. There are people that go on these meditation
retreats which are and I can't even imagine how awesome
(18:18):
that probably is. But I decided, let me try the
thirty Can I actually sit still long enough to do
thirty minutes with the meditation? And I'd use the call
map and it was the beach sounds and there's this
little bell tolling a very subtle kind of a ding
at the end of it that lets you know when
you get to thirty minutes, so that you're not sitting
there anticipating when's the bell coming. And so and I
(18:43):
found myself, I mean, I was doing the breathing, and
I was anchoring in the breathing, and I started wondering how,
I wonder how far I am into this? And then
I would but then I would pull myself back to center,
because that's what you do. I mean, that's that's all
meditation is. You're going to spend even if you do
it for eight hours, you're going to still drift and
bring your your attention back to center. But what was crazy?
And I can only guess that maybe this was fifteen
(19:04):
minutes into it or so, and I'm sitting up straight,
feet on the ground, you know, arms on the my
arms on the arms of the chair, because you know,
you can meditate really however you want to. But truly,
it's supposed to be a kind of an alertness where
you're upright. And I knotted off at one point I
caught it was like that thing I do when we're flying,
We're all of a sudden, Oh wait, I was falling asleep,
(19:26):
and so I guess I was so relaxed. But then
but when I, you know, would finally refocus again, then
I knew the bell hadn't gone off yet. So I
stayed and I lasted the full thirty minutes.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
I'm so glad.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
And what's insane about that? You know, you're not supposed
to with meditation, you're not supposed to anticipate an outcome,
because again, it's not about any of that. All those
things are the problem. It's all about the present. But
it was crazy, how I mean, just relaxed. I was
not stressed after that to go on about the thing
I wasn't. There weren't worries, you know, if I was
(20:00):
having a stressful thought. I caught the stressful thought rather
than it just kind of like piling on your back,
letting your muscles tense up. You know how that goes.
So are you surprised I did thirty minutes.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
I'm not surprised that you did it. I'm really glad
that you attempted it, and I think you should continue
to try that when you have the extra time. Because
you do the ten minutes, what in the mornings, early
before we got started, or whenever you feel like you
need it, I think you should continue to try thirty
minutes because if ten minutes really benefits you on the regular,
(20:32):
thirty minutes is going to be great for your own awareness.
The truth be told, I don't meditate. I do yoga.
But when you're talking about it, just the whole being
in the presence, it shines a light on the fact
that most things that stress us out are things that
happened in the past or things that we're anticipating.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
Yeah, that's where stress is. If you're in the moment.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
You're in the moment and hopefully nothing is tugging on
you one way or the other. The things that strust
me out are things I'm thinking about from yesterday that
disappointed me or whatever, or the things that I know
are coming up and I'm watching the clock. So that's
where it is, being in the moment, and that's what
this psychiatrist was saying. Being unreachable when away from home
is something that we miss, not being bombarded by constant
(21:17):
news and notifications. And another thing that's on that that was.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
On the list.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
It's a whole other podcast though, for another day. Trusting
what you saw and heard living in a time where
is that real? I can't anymore, can't know, can't know
for sure, or you think you know, so I guess
the takeaway here is you have to self regulate when
you start to feel a certain way because of technology
(21:43):
pulling on you. Do you need to let it make
you feel a certain way? And do you really need
to go into it, because yes, we have to use technology.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
It is here to stay.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
I didn't even think about it until you said it
just now, since this has all been about really notifications
being the things that stress you out. But what you
were just describing with yoga and we were talking about
with meditation is a notification actually takes you out of
the present moment, ironically, because it's designed to call your
attention to something you need.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
To need doing doing in the present, but it takes
you out absolutely because it's something in the future. Yeah right,
So careful how many notifications you allow in?
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Yeah, go into your phone and set the ones up,
you know, give yourself that piece you know away from
that you don't have to know about every single thing.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
No, well, let me set that notification up. Now.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Missed any part of the show. Get it all on
the Murphy Salmon Jody podcast.
Welcome to the Murphy Samon Jodi after the show podcast, Let's.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Talk about the way we live today, and we mean
all of us as a society, as a group, based
on one little story we did in Three Things to
Know Today. This psychiatrist, and he's a gen xer saying
it's not we don't miss the seventies or the eighties.
You don't really miss the eighties and nineties, any of
those times. What you miss is the feeling of being
(00:26):
in the moment and unreachable and not so overly notified
of everything.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
What you miss is life before this What you miss.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
What you misses the space in between things. That's what's
not well.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Put, Murphy, well put.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
All slowness of those lives.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Don't we all feel it?
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I mean yeah, I mean I think we do. And
even if you weren't you alive during that time, I mean,
I'm sure millennials feel the same way. I mean, you're
really you're only talking about a really small snapshot of
the generation of the last fifteen years that actually has
had the constant interruption, constant you know contact. Maybe you
could even treat that to ten. I mean, it's really
only been in the the you know, the post smartphone, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat,
(01:12):
that age right which you're talking twenty twelve, twenty thirteen,
where that really began to really start to take off, but.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
To really self regulate.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
And I don't know if we're wired to be that
way or we're just wired to be reactive. When it
feels like this is the way we live, you feel
like you're stuck in it.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Well, don't they say? They are, like, you know, kind
of weird little dopamine releases. Even though it's stressful to
stay on your phone, it's like these weird little releases.
I don't know, but your brain does that keep you? Honestly,
if you know. That's where they say these algorithms or
algorithms or however you say.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
It, algorithms. I never heard all correct.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
The algorithms are because it's all of it, right, Yeah,
it's all the algorithms. Yeah, are designed to keep you engaged.
And so if I mean, they already know the psychology
behind it, so obviously we're wired to do that. So yes,
you're right, I think it's just alf regulate. Yeah, difficult.
It's just as difficult probably to pull yourself away from
that as it is anything else that you are doing
(02:07):
too much of in your life. I feel like drinking whatever.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
It's the shoulds so perfect example is where we are today.
So we came back from vacation. We were gone mid July,
and we came back to work, to life, to the schedule,
to the constant notifications and being pulled on a couple
of days ago. And it feels like a long week
and it was only a few days. And I say
(02:30):
that because going from vacation where look, we filled the time.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
But it wasn't that. It wasn't work.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
It wasn't emails and this person needing this and this
person needing that, and always something on.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
There were a couple of times.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
This week where I felt very overwhelmed by what would
be my normal schedule. For instance, that night that I
canceled yoga. Murph, I don't ever cancel yoga because it's
one of the things that centers me and makes me
feel better in our overleas stimulated world. But it was
also I would have to get in the car and
get back into traffic to go to yoga, and I
(03:07):
was home. I was in shorts and a T shirts
standing there going you know what, I want to cook?
And so I canceled yoga and I stood in the
kitchen and I cooked, and it just felt so good
to just do that. And another thing that this psychiatrist says,
not being bombarded with constant news and notifications of what
we're missing, being unreachable, went away from home is what
(03:29):
we're missing. But also hobbies are doing regular things without
having to turn them into content. If you feel like
you're always you know, if you feel like, oh, well,
I did this great thing and maybe I should share it,
that's not something that happened.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
When we were growing up. Yeah, it happened in the moment.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
I was sharing my daily photo dump. Here's what I
did today.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Yeah, and what part of your brain?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
It's like we're rewired that that's the way that it
has to be, but it doesn't have to be.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
We choose it.
Speaker 5 (04:02):
This is kind of related, but when Sammy and I
were in Chicago, we went to the bean. You know
that mirror it's called the Love Your Picture kind of
cloud something, but it's like everybody's around it, everybody's taking
eight thousand pictures. We were doing that and Sammy and
I were just taking pictures of this and it's like, yeah, well,
I'll just delete the ones I don't want. Later on
at the hotel and me, I was like, you know,
(04:25):
there was a time where you got twenty four at
this and you didn't see him right away.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
You had to wait an hour or a week.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
In fact, that was beautiful because not only did you
have to wait, once you picked them up two weeks later,
you had a brand new moment with yourself reliving it
was a.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Fond memory, not an instant memory.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Another reason it's so funny to go, you know, look
at the historicals and things like that and realize that
there was a genuine excitement about one hour photo of
it was so much faster than sending it off for
seven days of getting pictures back. Yeah, that's a bygone time.
But there's a difference, I think in the ability to
take all the pictures. That's fantastic. I love that. I
(05:07):
love being able to capture every moment, and if I
don't want to delete, that's awesome And there's nothing that
stresses me out about that. I do see what you're saying, though, Jodie,
on the share part, the moment that you feel compelled
to this is another thing that you've got to do
so that's really with society.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
But you still are in society.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Yeah, and you can. There's nothing wrong with sharing. But
I think it's a difference in the mental trigger of
I've got to do this, I've got it, the more
I gotta and the shoulds.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Yeah, the shoulds drain you. It just pulls on you.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I'm not trying to bring up something emotional, and I
will not get emotional. But the other day I was thinking,
while I was online and having one of those what did.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
I pick this up for?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Like, if you're trying to manage three and four things
at one time, you're authenticating your passwords, whatever it may be.
We came back from being on vacation and I had
to re connect at work and such, and you know
that drains my brain more than creativity. Technical stuff wears
me out because it's not my lane, if you will.
I was doing all that stuff and just to get
(06:07):
on to start doing my work, I had to do
six steps. I was so tired. I thought my dad
would have hated this life. My dad died in nineteen
eighty nine. Never had a cell phone. I don't think
he ever flow on an airplane. You know, this life
that we live now with texting, I would have loved
(06:28):
to have had that. It brings you know, the technology
brings us a lot of advantages and benefits, but it
also drains us. We are constantly overloaded, which is not
good for the mind and the heart and the soul.
And don't you know he's somebody that is with me
all the time sort of, you know, I don't talk
about him a lot, but he would have hated that.
(06:50):
He would have hated it, and I'm glad for him
that he didn't have it.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Yeah, you know, because at least his life.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Was more peaceful. You know, when he would get one
more thing. When he would get home from work. He
would have a busy work day. He worked at a
plant and he was with people all day. He would
go out on our back porch and sit in a
rocking chair. That's what he did because that was the
place could as he could, and that's he even knew
to self care to do that when he got home.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Yeah, he didn't pick up a phone.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Well that makes me think of two things. One, you're right,
the technology is it's better. I wouldn't. I would not
choose the past over today because there are too many
good things about what we have today that are you know,
so much better, and I think we forget your phone
actually is equipped to give you the privacy that you
want if you need it, when you want it. You
know you can there do not disturb settings. There's you know,
(07:43):
I think every smartphone maker understands now how to make
that part of the lifestyle. And you know what, you
can turn off notifications so it's not as it's only
as out of control as we let it be, because
we actually we're still totally in control of it. You know,
on our phone you can shock people. Yeah. The second
thing that I you know, I would say is my dad.
I think about my dad and my grandfather and this
(08:05):
shows you different, you know, ways of thinking. My dad,
who passed away five years ago, he was that baby
boomer generation born in the nineteen forties, and he the
first time he got a digital camera, he was in
love with that. He loved not being restricted on the
amount of photos that he could take. And you know
that Jody from being around him that to every family gathering,
(08:26):
every everything, he would shoot picture after picture if that
was his thing. And so if he shot two hundred
pictures and he could then go home and look through
them later he was he loved it. You know, if
I think about my grandfather who passed away in the seventies,
he was his mind was that inventive kind of mind.
(08:48):
He's the kind of I really wish I had known
him as an adult, because he was always thinking, He
was always drawing out ideas. He was a natural creator,
and he would he would love of the present here
right now. He would probably actually know how to tackle
and make it balanced. He would be he would be
the one, you know, troubleshooting that kind of thing. And
(09:08):
even my grandmother, who lived to be ninety seven years old,
you know, totally embraced her computer and the you know,
the immediate connectivity. But she also, I mean she was
really old school. When she was done with the computer,
she turned it off off. It wasn't just like walk
away and let it go to the sleep. She turned
it off.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Sure is your mom still turn her phone off?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Sam?
Speaker 5 (09:29):
She silences it because well it's actually that she forgets
to turn it back to audio because when she's at
work she silences it with the kids, you know, and
then when she gets home she forgets to turn it
back on. So there's a lot of times you call
and you don't get her, and then three days later,
Hey you just called me. It's like, no, that was
three days ago. But sure, Yeah, let's talk that. That
(09:49):
surprises me. Her, by the way, she's eighty seven next week,
so I have a birthday. The fact that she's been
able to keep up, you know, with all of this stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Yeah, there's a certain amount of a person that's social
enough that you it's wonderful. And look, there is a
loneliness epidemic in our country. So whatever connects you, connection
is connection. Okay, But what I was going to say
is it's seeping into every part of our lives. It
is the epidemic, if you will, being sort of addicted
(10:20):
to technology, being sort of addicted to feeling like you
always have to be on one of another story that
we did this week earlier in the week in three
Things to Know Today, was that even tattoo artists are
seeing that it gets in the way. What they would
love is for you to put your device down completely
and leave it, don't even bring it, because they're having
(10:40):
to stop their work. And people who are getting tattoos
are constantly are not used to being down time, and
they're reaching for their devices the whole time, and it's like,
as soon as you move, I've messed up. And so
they constantly have to say, please don't move, Please don't move,
Please don't grab your device. So it seeps into every
(11:02):
single industry. You know, how many times have we seen
people behind customers, not not all, but like in work
in life, in retail, like just you know, looking at something,
maybe they're working, maybe they're not. But with a you know,
a nation of people just staring at a screen, well you.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Get in an elevator, it's what people automatically go to.
When you're talking about two really two different things that
create the same kind of stress. One is the constant
need that if I can't have to fill every moment.
But the one that you originally that you started this
podcast with about with notifications and interruptions and those kinds
of things that you know call our attention and that
we don't know how to do the downtime.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Are you just reactive to it?
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Yeah? You know, since I've switched back to iPhone, I
think that Apple does a great job with a couple
of different things they've They're very much about understanding how
things are today and excuse me, some people have you know,
fomo that you send a text message and then you
don't hear back, and then you start wondering, well, oh
my god, what are they? Why why am not I
hearing back? And that kind of thing. But you know,
(12:02):
you can actually set your you can set your iPhone
to say it'll it'll share your profile set up if
you need it to. In the profile I mean, is
your sound profile. If you're not accepting messages right now,
or you've got if your phone is silenced, it will
tell the other person that, oh, I didn't know exact
cool and so you know.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
I'm not accepting messages right now.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Well, and that's again, that's where I go back to
the technology itself is not bad. We just have to
learn how to use it. And I love that it's
continuing to evolve, that there's an acknowledgment that this is
going to be a problem if we don't. If you did,
if the only ability you had to silence notifications was
on off, that would be a horrible solution. You know,
you need to be able to be selective when you're
(12:42):
at work you need work notifications, or when you're at home,
or maybe when you're asleep at night, like, I've got
our phone set up that you know there were there.
There's a list of seven people who can call, and
my phone will ring at night. Jody, you would like
to know you're one of them.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
I think I'm number one, although all I have to
do is top.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Our daughters. Sam, you're actually one of those, right.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
I knew you were wondering if you're one of the people,
but I.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Think that that's one of those. Where But again, this
is the crazy part of it. I laughed thinking about this.
You actually have to somehow find the time to learn
how to do those settings, to configure your phone the
way that you want, you know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Let's go to here and then go down to here,
and then go down here, and it's like yeah, right,
but it's there, you know.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Well we've all felt it, you know, we in this life,
in this world, with these devices, we've all felt those
moments where it's pulling you unnaturally, like there's no reason,
there's no reason for you to grab it at a
red light, there's no reason for you to grab it
just when somebody's walking out of the room and they're
coming right back. But we are naturally wired that way.
(13:48):
We're getting naturally wired that way, and we have to
be intentional about let me do something else, let me breathe.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
I have This is kind of related to it, but
I have discovered that I have sort of a phone
anxiety now that like when I go to bed, I
put it on silent. I also have it set up
to ring just you know, for all.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
The are we on your? Are we on your?
Speaker 4 (14:10):
I will add you now, but I really need to add.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Murphy for technical reasons.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
If there's.
Speaker 5 (14:21):
But like I have it on a stand at night,
silent over there. I'm going to bed. But it's like,
while I'm in the middle of falling asleep, if I
hear the phone going no not Dan vibrate, I instantly
tense up, and it's like I don't check it. I've
gotten to the point of don't worry about it, but
it is instantly. I don't know if it's the Pavlov
(14:43):
thing or what, but it's like if I hear it vibrate, it's.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Like somebody needs me.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
What is it? What is it?
Speaker 4 (14:48):
Should I check it? No, You're not going to check it.
Go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
It's one of the reasons I'm so grateful that this
young that this generation is the mental health generation, and
how could they not be. They were born into this
tech anxiety. They were born into it, like born into
this is what life is? And when when? That's why
they say that so many young adults are very interested
in life in the seventies and the eighties, and they're
interested in going backwards into polaroid cameras, and they're interested
(15:15):
in vinyl and CDs because they want to know a
simpler way to enjoy the things that we all enjoy, and.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Just with different vehicles. We had different vehicles in the past.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yeah, I think, and I think that every generation thinks
that the generation that preceded them was a little more
dialed back, might have been a little more relaxed, might
have been a little bit more easy. My grandmother used
to say that she probably was actually very correct about
that than when she was growing up in the nineteen
twenties and the thirties. Yeah, life was pretty simple. Now.
(15:46):
There are, of course, a lot of not so great things.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Of course, healthcare, all the money facts.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
That you know, medicine that all those things that were
not greater. I mean, look at me before nineteen twenty two,
which is when insulin was discovered, if I'd have been
alive before then, I wouldn't have been alive for very long,
you know what I mean. And so so that's just
another example of how I.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Was told I would have died in childbirth. But I
was told that. I don't know if it's true.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
But I do think that, you know, I mean, even
though that there are some things that I'm such a
media freak, and YouTube I love so much that anything
that you want to see historically really lives. It lives
on in a better way today than it did even
twenty or twenty five years ago, because you've got access
(16:35):
to it now. You see what I'm saying is it's
like in the nineties, for example, you know that you
were either going to buy a VHS tape somewhere to
go watch something that you wanted to, or you had
to wait for it to actually come on one of
the cable channels or somebody doing some retro special. You
couldn't just go out and do your own, you know,
searching and experience music and video and TV and entertainment
(16:58):
and all of those things, you know, the way that
we do now, And I think that gives every generation
this sort of fantasy escape. You know, to experience what
they believe life would have been at that time. Sure,
but back to again the interruption thing. I didn't get
to tell you this yet, Jody, when because you'd gone
out of town to hang out with your cousins, you know,
(17:21):
Candice and Crystal. And that actually was a good speaking
of detaching, you know, I mean, that was a good detach.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
A little couple of days away with the girls. We
went to bed early, we shopped, we visited, we laughed, ate, drank.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
And so, you know, one day I realized that I
was trying to fill too much of my time like
I usually do, because for me, it's not only notifications,
it's task lists, which then going to my calendar. So
all of a sudden, the things that you create then
start calling back to you, you know what I mean.
And I decided that I wanted to try something I
hadn't done before, because I do these daily meditations with
(17:56):
the Daily Calm, and they're ten minutes and they're really
easy to do, and they're they're helpful when you stick
to them. But I was reading about people who will
do thirty minutes or an hour. Some people will do
eight hours in a row. And then of course there
are retreats. There are people that go on these meditation
retreats which are and I can't even imagine how awesome
(18:18):
that probably is. But I decided, let me try the
thirty Can I actually sit still long enough to do
thirty minutes with the meditation? And I'd use the call
map and it was the beach sounds and there's this
little bell tolling a very subtle kind of a ding
at the end of it that lets you know when
you get to thirty minutes, so that you're not sitting
there anticipating when's the bell coming. And so and I
(18:43):
found myself, I mean, I was doing the breathing, and
I was anchoring in the breathing, and I started wondering how,
I wonder how far I am into this? And then
I would but then I would pull myself back to center,
because that's what you do. I mean, that's that's all
meditation is. You're going to spend even if you do
it for eight hours, you're going to still drift and
bring your your attention back to center. But what was crazy?
And I can only guess that maybe this was fifteen
(19:04):
minutes into it or so, and I'm sitting up straight,
feet on the ground, you know, arms on the my
arms on the arms of the chair, because you know,
you can meditate really however you want to. But truly,
it's supposed to be a kind of an alertness where
you're upright. And I knotted off at one point I
caught it was like that thing I do when we're flying,
We're all of a sudden, Oh wait, I was falling asleep,
(19:26):
and so I guess I was so relaxed. But then
but when I, you know, would finally refocus again, then
I knew the bell hadn't gone off yet. So I
stayed and I lasted the full thirty minutes.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
I'm so glad.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
And what's insane about that? You know, you're not supposed
to with meditation, you're not supposed to anticipate an outcome,
because again, it's not about any of that. All those
things are the problem. It's all about the present. But
it was crazy, how I mean, just relaxed. I was
not stressed after that to go on about the thing
I wasn't. There weren't worries, you know, if I was
(20:00):
having a stressful thought. I caught the stressful thought rather
than it just kind of like piling on your back,
letting your muscles tense up. You know how that goes.
So are you surprised I did thirty minutes.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
I'm not surprised that you did it. I'm really glad
that you attempted it, and I think you should continue
to try that when you have the extra time. Because
you do the ten minutes, what in the mornings, early
before we got started, or whenever you feel like you
need it, I think you should continue to try thirty
minutes because if ten minutes really benefits you on the regular,
(20:32):
thirty minutes is going to be great for your own awareness.
The truth be told, I don't meditate. I do yoga.
But when you're talking about it, just the whole being
in the presence, it shines a light on the fact
that most things that stress us out are things that
happened in the past or things that we're anticipating.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
Yeah, that's where stress is. If you're in the moment.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
You're in the moment and hopefully nothing is tugging on
you one way or the other. The things that strust
me out are things I'm thinking about from yesterday that
disappointed me or whatever, or the things that I know
are coming up and I'm watching the clock. So that's
where it is, being in the moment, and that's what
this psychiatrist was saying. Being unreachable when away from home
is something that we miss, not being bombarded by constant
(21:17):
news and notifications. And another thing that's on that that was.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
On the list.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
It's a whole other podcast though, for another day. Trusting
what you saw and heard living in a time where
is that real? I can't anymore, can't know, can't know
for sure, or you think you know, so I guess
the takeaway here is you have to self regulate when
you start to feel a certain way because of technology
(21:43):
pulling on you. Do you need to let it make
you feel a certain way? And do you really need
to go into it, because yes, we have to use technology.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
It is here to stay.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
I didn't even think about it until you said it
just now, since this has all been about really notifications
being the things that stress you out. But what you
were just describing with yoga and we were talking about
with meditation is a notification actually takes you out of
the present moment, ironically, because it's designed to call your
attention to something you need.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
To need doing doing in the present, but it takes
you out absolutely because it's something in the future. Yeah right,
So careful how many notifications you allow in?
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Yeah, go into your phone and set the ones up,
you know, give yourself that piece you know away from
that you don't have to know about every single thing.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
No, well, let me set that notification up. Now.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Missed any part of the show. Get it all on
the Murphy Salmon Jody podcast.
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