August 10, 2026 • 24 mins
Jodi answers some burning questions: How she feels about not being proposed to, what almost scared her away from Murphy - and why she can't call him her soulmate.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Murphy Sam and Jody after the show
podcast all right.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
We said we do this podcast today because you guys
did one about our marriage without me.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
You were traveling traveling, so you guys and so did
the ask the husband thing. So we took dms and
other questions that people sent in, listeners sent in, and
then you know.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
You answered them. And I thought, wow, okay, so I
heard the podcast. I thought we would address some of
the things that Murphy addressed. I wanted to go ahead.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Wasn't one of the questions in that we were given
Sam about somebody saying, if Jody were here and we're
hearing this later, what would you want Oh yeah, that
was the last question. What do you want her to
if she were listening to this podcast? What would you
want her to hear? I think is what the question was.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Well, how did you guys answer that? I don't remember.
What did you want me to hear from that?
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I just said all the great things about you. I'd
have to go back and listen to that pod. No,
I did not. I didn't forget. Honestly, it was about
you being my best friend, yes, and what an amazing
mother you've been to our children, and you know the
I'm glad.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
That we got the cars.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
I'm glad we made it through the ups and down.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
You know. Look I heard the podcast and a few
things came to my mind.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
I do you remember pointing out the fact because one
of the questions was when did you know? When did
you first know? All right? And I was like, we
need to get Jody's response on that one too.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Oh yeah, right, you're right.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Okay, I don't know what you did?
Speaker 1 (01:20):
You hear that?
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I think so that was where when?
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I Yeah, My answer on that one was it wasn't immediate.
That you might think that it was.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Now, I would love for that to be the story,
that it was immediate.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
But then it was. I mean, but then once it was,
it was obvious.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I had doubts.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
No, did you really?
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Okay? Well, it was a slow burn. I'm joking with
the doubts. I was very sure about you. No, I didn't.
I was very sure about you. It was a slow burn.
He hired me. We started working together, and when we
were in this room doing this show together every day,
and then when he would ask me to go to
lunch and say we were going to talk about work,
we became very close. We became best friends quickly, and
(01:59):
I felt very I have told this before everybody else
I had ever been with before you light relationships or
even serious relationships, I never had the experience where the
man I was with was also a true friend. In fact,
my past relationships, I felt like those guys were going
(02:20):
against me and like, I don't want you to do
doing that. I don't I want you to do this.
There was a lot of what what he expected and
wanted from me, what his idea of the relationship was.
And that's always true. There's always, you know, two people pull,
a push and a pull and a tug. But there
was in my especially the relationship right before you a
(02:41):
good person, a good relationship, and you know, there was
love there, but there was also I don't want you
to work. I don't want you to do this. Can
you imagine if I would have caved to that, I
would have life, I would not be myself. So I
really got out of that for myself. Getting out of
that relationship was so that I could have the life
(03:04):
I wanted. And then I got this job and we
started working together and that's when we became friends. And
I've told people that before I never knew that a
man could be your best friend, because all the men
in my past were you know, men, boys, whatever, boyfriends,
And so we became friends quickly. And I had always
heard marry your best friend, marry your best friend, and
(03:25):
I thought that happens, But it did for you and me,
it did happen. So when did I know in this
room working with him slowly but surely now there were
things going on that you probably didn't even realize. Sam.
You know, because you know when Murphy Murphy can turn
on the charm. You've seen him do it. He can
(03:46):
do it at the pharmacy, he can do it with
new people at work, anytime he meets people, they're like,
oh my god, your husband is the greatest person in
the world.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Whoa He was turning on the charm in front of me.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, notice on me though, Like you would say something funny,
he would laugh, and I'd look over at him and
he would wink at me and stuff. He was being,
you know, he was turning it.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
On and I didn't know that I was doing Oh
my god.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
So much, so much. That's not really what drew me
to you. The best friend thing drew me to you.
But also your leadership. I'm a very traditional girl. I
like a leader. I mean a lot of women do
like a leader, even if they're strong and independent, which
I am independent minded. I still like that feminine, masculine energy.
(04:31):
I crave it. So when did it happen for me?
I can't pinpoint a moment. I wish I had that
story to tell you, but it happened. It was a
slow burn of this is my best friend, and we
just got closer and closer, and he made the moves
I want to give you a hug. One morning downstairs
before we walked in, we happened to be walking in
(04:52):
at the same time, and he says, look, can I
give you a hug? This was the first time you
ever touched me. And I was like, yes, you can.
So by the light of that light downstairs where we
walk in every morning, I saw a frog this morning.
That's where I knew, Okay, this is going to a
different level. Yeah, okay, that's that's that's way I can
answer your question, right, Okay, moving on to the non proposal,
(05:16):
that was something that was brought up in the podcast. No,
Murphy never proposed to me, and of course back then
because we just knew.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Yeah, And so for anybody that did not hear that
after the show podcast, which was just a few days ago.
By the way, if you want to see my responses
and the answers to your questions, it's there. But that
was really about everything felt so natural in our relationship
in the way that it progressed, that it kind of
got there without you know.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
We were making plans proposal.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Yeah, I know, it's we were making my plans. So
that's what I was explaining, Is it right?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
It did happen so naturally that we knew we were
going to be together. But of course I'm a traditional girl.
Of course I would have liked a proposal. And I
do not say that to make you feel bad, because
I will tell you we've.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Talked about it before. It actually used to make me
feel bad.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I'm sorry, I don't bring it up. Oh I'm gonna
hear me going nice that she got a.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Proposal, Well, especially when the sentences it would have been
nice twenty nine years ago.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Say that. I don't do that.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Let me whip out my time machine.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
But here is something I can pinpoint for you. A
few years into us being married and then we having
kids and being in that life. I looked around my
life and around my friends' lives, and I realized, it
doesn't matter that I didn't have a proposal. I have
a happy life. I remember having those thoughts and feelings
(06:41):
like it was almost as if that was childish or
immature for me to have wanted that, because what I
actually got is a marriage in a partnership. You know,
and not everybody gets that. You know, not that it's
been perfect, it hasn't. And we've had struggles, we've heard
each other, we have had struggles. But that does not
(07:03):
matter to me that you didn't propose. Now back then,
I would have loved it. Yeah, because I am a
traditional well look.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
And I think that everything is time and place. You
begin to realize the longer that you're together. I mean
when you're in your twenties and they're varying degrees of
you know, assurances and maturity level and knowing what you
want in your life. At that you know, most people,
you're so early into it, you're still more about the
things that life has projected on you, about ceremony and
(07:29):
how things are supposed to be done, instead of the
things that will naturally develop in a relationship. Yeah, exactly,
So there's I don't think it's wrong. I think it's
just that it's a time and place thing.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I don't think about that anymore. The proposal thing gets
brought up here, or when proposals get brought up and
people go, how did Murphy propose to you? And I'm like,
funny story, he didn't and it's fine.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Have you ever, Murphy, have you ever thought about like
a surprise and a big anniversary doing that?
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Please?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So Jody will not want that? Okay, yeah, yeah, I
know Jody well enough to know it's the same reason
that Jody doesn't want to do renewal vowels. Because we've
already said that.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
It doesn't mean it's wrong for other people. It's beautiful
and probably needed for other people who have There are
seasons in marriage. So if you need to restrengthen and
redo that, more power to you. I would love to.
I love that for people. I don't feel like I
need that.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yeah, it's interesting. Yeah, yeah, Jody really appreciates I'm talking
about you like you're not even hearing that.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Yeah, I want to know what I appreciate.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
You know, so, but there are things that you will
that Jody finds cheesy, and it's okay.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I don't find those cheesy for other people, correct.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Right exactly. And it's not a judgment again on others,
because everybody's got something. It's just it's just different and
where we are, you know, in our relationship, Jody would
rather to do, you know, do something together that's fun,
that actually engages our relationship, right exactly. And I'm sure
if I did surprise you with something like that, you
wouldn't reject, but it would have to be the right
(09:05):
time and place. It's not going to be like if
I've screwed something up and I'm having to apologize. That's
the worst time, by the way, to go in there
and try to be romantic with Jody. She can't that
cannot stand that. And I learned that the hard way
because usually you think I'm gonna say I'm sorry. I'm
gonna bring some roses. If you want to like Jody
after the next bring her some roses. When she's mad, I.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Have thrown away perfectly good roses. So give me time.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Okay, it's just time and an apology or.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
What are we talking about when he's mad on me?
When I'm mad? Yeah, I need time and he doesn't.
That's what that was a very difficult thing in the
beginning of our relationship. He wanted to talk about things
right then, and like, if you want me to rip
your head off shore, yeah, but I always need time.
(09:56):
And so he had to learn that, and I've had
to learn I've learned from you with your handling things.
We got to talk about things. I've learned that from you,
that things only get better when we do that. You know.
I think that's my independent spirit that keeps me. I
need a minute. I need you to give me a minute.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
I've learned that from you. Though. That's that's where really,
because yes, I do want things to be resolved, but
I was trying to resolve too much of the emotion
of the moment, where my head's not equally as clear.
I think any conversation, right, it needs to be any
emotionally charged moment. If you're trying to make a decision
in that moment, there's a really strong chance you're going
(10:35):
to make the wrong decision or you're gonna have the
wrong reaction or whatever. And it's okay. It's not a
sign that the relationships busting apart because you need a
twenty four hour cool off period. You just need a
twenty four hour cool off period. But it took me
a little while to learn that because that wasn't in
my mind.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Period that used to make him so nervous, made him
his pursuit even more. Like when we you know, he
would he would follow me around places because we have
to talk about stuff, which made me want to actually
rip his That all, when I need cooling off, that's
the opposite, you know. Anyway, the answer to the non
(11:09):
proposal is that I don't even think about it unless
it's brought up. It is over with, it is forgiven.
It was not. I would rather have the good marriage
that we have than have had a stupid storybook proposal.
Now I'm not a storybook person anyway. I do love,
I do love surprises. I think romance. I think that
(11:32):
things that are romantic are the private jokes, the personal
things that's only between the two of you. The world
cannot define for you. What is romantic. Romantic is what
happens in the in the small, little moments. It's not
big gestures, it's the little thing.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Yeah, exactly, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
So that's for me. And so you think I find
things cheesy but if it's the world telling me that
this is romance, I don't buy that.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah, and look, I understand and you know, parts of that.
It's okay that that is one of the things that
I really do, you know, love about you, that independent spirit.
You are certainly moved by things and touched by things.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
I'm emotional very much.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Our daughters do that, I do that, your mom does,
friends do for you, all of those things. But I
but I like that, I get that part of you.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah, I know, you know, really that's We.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Joke about it here on the show a lot, and
I know because it really is one of the funniest
things to bring up, the whole soulmates thing. We're going
to get there. But now that I've understood that, well
then I won't. I won't, you know, get ahead of
you know on that answer, right, because I think it's
you know, it's two of the same, it's the same thing. Well,
it's tough not to it's tough not to tell you
how awesome all that is that you're here. Now. I
(12:45):
was saying all this without you before, So go ahead,
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Well, I wanted to address three things. Number one, the
proposed and non proposal, so we've we've put that to bed.
The other thing was that you know you, It wasn't
It was a slow burn because there were things about
me that he didn't think he liked, kind of the
way I acted around girlfriends. There were things about you
that made me step back and take a second guest
when we were first new together, such as I knew
(13:09):
Sam was gonna be like what what?
Speaker 1 (13:11):
And I actually think I know the answer.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
He's come a long way with his emotional outbursts. He
used to have. You know, he's a passionate person.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Temper, I mean, you can say it. It was a temper.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, And the first few times I experienced your temper,
what I wanted to do was get away from you.
And then I thought, do I want to get back
because with you know, in with him, because I never
broke up with you, but I thought about it. I
was so intermoil because I was in love with you
and you were my best friend, and I thought, Wow,
(13:42):
this is this is all these boxes being checked that
I didn't know. I didn't know a man could be
my best friend. But he has this serious temper, and
I thought, if he's showing me this now while we're dating.
What's it going to be like when he really lets
his guard down around me and we're at home and
there are kids. I remember having that forward thinking thought
(14:06):
of I don't want to live with that. Yeah, and
so that was the only thing that scared me.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yeah, I can understand that.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
That's the only thing that scared.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Yeah, I can. I mean, I understand that and I but.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
You really have and you know, worked on it.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Well, I've worked on it because I know where it
came from. Now, and that's a whole other podcast, you know,
on it in itself. Yeah, because I'm a naturally passionate
person and that that is the way it is. But
I also grew up in a household where I had
to I had to unlearn a whole lot of things
because you know, in outbursts. That's the really weird paradox
of growing up in a family because because both of
(14:43):
my parents were fantastic human beings, truly some of the
best people ever. My mom would have done anything for
us when we were first married, and you know, the
they bought the first baby beat I mean all they
She was one of the most kind, giving people. But
when she was younger, she was much the same way,
and she grew up in a household where that was
(15:04):
all there was was that kind of yelling. And so
when she would get when she would get mad, it
would take the house over and and and I would say,
probably any not so get shut down a room and yeah,
and she and she did, and mean frequently in male
form there were family get togethers where she would shut
the you know, the room down. But and so I
(15:28):
don't know how much of that again, that's another podcast.
I don't know how much of that was learned. I don't
know how much of its DNA. I don't how much
of it's any of that. The most important thing is
that I do over the years, have understood that you know,
that's not the way to manage it. And honestly, that
is also about changing the way that you see, interpret
and interpret things. And you know, until you actually stop
(15:48):
and really understand that you are your filters, your interpretation
are coloring your sense of the world and it's not
of everybody else's fault. You don't change until you get that. Yeah,
you know, and it's it's difficult because you don't see
it because of your filters. But anyway, for you, you
you know, obviously that caused me to change. You and
(16:09):
I were very and still are very passionate people, and
so so I.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Was either going to stand up to you during those
times or run away, right, And we know because I
didn't like I didn't want that kind of confrontation. I'm
a passionate person too, but I didn't want that kind
of confrontation. I didn't want that kind of energy in
my life and home. And then I knew I was
taking a chance by working with him too, like I
was going to see that at work and home too.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Yeah, and so I think there was a time that
I would would have not been as comfortable even talking
about that, because, uh, that's not obviously how I wanted
to be with you, and that's that's you have been you.
You have helped me with.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
That outweigh that though. The good that you brought outweighed that,
which is why we're here. Okay, So I don't want
to I don't want to get hung up on that
because I don't want to make you feel bad. You've
done a lot of change, You've worked on yourself a
lot well.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Actually, since the podcast, I did, everything I said was nice.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Yeah, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Saying anything bad. You had turn offs in the beginning.
That's that was something that made me think twice. And
then there's that one thing. And my mom said to me, oh, really,
right before we got married, I've told you this before.
My mom said, what do you think your dad would
have thought of him? And I was like, ooh, because
she knew that was a that's a really, that's a
(17:24):
that's a card to play because speaking of my father,
who meant the world to me, he died when I
was young, and I just think she wanted me to
think about that because she also knew that you were
unlike most of the men I had been with and
been attracted to, and things like that. I really don't
know what she meant by that. I never asked her,
and I just I don't remember how I answered her.
(17:46):
But I know now he would have loved you because
of how you know, fiercely protective you are of me,
and things like that. You know, you guys wouldn't have
gone hunting together because he was a hunter. Like that
may be what she meant, you know, I don't.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Well, especially Willis, since I would have been able to
hit anything anyway, I would have been wasting his time.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
How long do we have to sit in this tree.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
I want to move on, though, to the soulmate thing.
I want to address the fact that I don't like
the term soulmates when I know it's a term that
a lot of people just love, and I know the
world wants to hear me say that Murphy is my soulmate.
I say, world, people who listen, I would feel the
(18:31):
same about the term soulmates no matter who I was with. Yeah,
I want you to know that, so you don't need
to take that personally. Maybe it has to do with
being brought up and raised in like so much church
with my grandfather and the word soul. I really believe
that my soul is my own and your soul is
(18:52):
your own. And I also really believe, Yeah, I believe
you the love of my life, but I don't if
something happened to me today, I would not want love
to be ended for you. I would want you to
go on and love somebody else, and I don't want that.
I wouldn't want the soulmate thing to get in the way,
because I believe that all love that we have in
our life is valid. I believe that everybody Sam has
(19:16):
ever loved, he really loved and then it had its time.
And I just think that if you put the stamp
of soulmate, it's wonderful and that's what you do. You
do it. But I just need you to give me
a pass on that and not take it personally. I
don't know if I have a soulmate. I have a
soul and you have a soul and let's live our
(19:37):
lives together. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (19:40):
It makes perfect sense.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
That's the best way I can explain it.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
It's a beautiful explanation, it really is.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Please stop saying it.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Go ahead.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
So I was gonna say, just so you know, I don't.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
I don't.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
I'm the only reason I bring it up is just
for fun, for fun, for jabs and fun, because it's
like I up to years ago. Yeah don't you don't
like soulmates also?
Speaker 1 (20:04):
And I accepted it years ago also, But it took
me a minute because early in the relationship, when you
hear something like that, it's very easy to misunderstand that. Yeah,
you know you really That's why I mean, words themselves
can hit you the wrong way. As long as somebody
is willing to explain what they actually mean by something,
then the context changes. Because early on, I'm like, Okay,
(20:24):
well then what am I investing all this time? And
if I'm not, I was thinking that is so I'm
not the one. But that's not what Judie meant at
all about that. It's it's a perception thing. Can I
ask you one more thing about that? Well? No, because
because I remember you saying this, and I think I
think this goes to I think this goes to the
romance part of it too, that you've experienced some couples
(20:47):
and things in your life where you heard that term
and you saw it in action.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
And I've seen that term. I've heard that term be
thrown around and then a divorced three years later, right,
So you know it's just kind of like, okay, yeah,
and that's my perception, that's my experience with the term soulmates,
you know that. So yeah, I think, do I have
to define what I have with you? You are the
love of my life, you are the father of my children.
(21:14):
I mean, that's that's pretty high up. If you need
another you know, disclaimer. I got to think on it,
because it's you know, I don't it's easy enough and
find it.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
No, No, No, that's the easy and and the way
you just described it is the way that I'll describe
it to somebody in a casual new conversation. She's the
love of my life, she's the mother of our children,
but she's not my soul.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I didn't say not.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
I'm just look, is there any wrong way, no sort
of experience love in your life? I don't think so.
We have a lot of that in our society. Of
love is only successful if it's this way. That's not true.
There are people who have had short relationships were true
and real, But honestly, your relationship with yourself is also
(22:04):
a part of your life and it needs to I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
I just I didn't use that soulmate stuff any in
describing any of my exes. Did I you were just
saying and divorced three years later. I'm thinking that wasn't you.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
And I don't think that you ever. I don't think
you ever described that's just not at that time, it
wasn't in your DNA. I think today you might do
that differently. You don't think so.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I don't think anybody's a soulmate reallyant And I'm not
just piggybacking on Jodie there. It's just one of those things.
It's like, yeah, okay, that's what you want to call it,
then that's what you call it.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yeah, But I guess just in a general sense, you know,
today you are you're more expressive than you were whenever
I first met you, you were more expressive about uh today,
mart Yeah, things that I know that you did. You
have always loved your children, You've always loved you know,
spouse's X or not. But today you've you know, spoken
(22:58):
more about that in terms of your kids and hall us,
you know, and all of that. And I think it's
kind of the same thing. It's just time. Time tends
to hopefully make us a little bit better, and the
things that want up punching you in the gut sometimes
make a difference. And the hardest lesson for me to
learn over time. And I heard some quote about it,
(23:20):
but I'm not going to try to quote because I'm
screw it up. But it has to do with, you know,
being rigid, and basically the analogy was a stiff tree
always breaks in the wind. A willow tree doesn't. It
flows and it bends, And that really is kind of
what we have to do and be mentally, you know,
in our lives to understand that the way that we
(23:40):
see the world is not perfect, and you know, and
our thoughts are not perfect, and the way that we
want to live our lives are not the way that
everybody else should.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
All those things and the final reason, the final thing
about the Soulmates thing for me is that what about
all the people who have struggled in love? It's just
another thing that they can't live up to. You know.
I just like that.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
That is a beautiful point. I didn't think about that.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
You're right, it's a high It sounds like a very
high mark to reach.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah. And that then somehow, if you don't have a
soul made, then there's something wrong.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
And there's not. You're right, you have a soul. End
it there?
Speaker 1 (24:21):
All right?
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Is everybody happy? We feel like we had they?
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Well, I'm glad. Well, And first, thank you for listening
to that podcast.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
You know, a friend of mine told me Murphy's talking
about were n it out? Huh missed any part of
the show. Get it All on the Murphy Salmon Jody Podcast.
Welcome to the Murphy Sam and Jody after the show
podcast all right.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
We said we do this podcast today because you guys
did one about our marriage without me.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
You were traveling traveling, so you guys and so did
the ask the husband thing. So we took dms and
other questions that people sent in, listeners sent in, and
then you know.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
You answered them. And I thought, wow, okay, so I
heard the podcast. I thought we would address some of
the things that Murphy addressed. I wanted to go ahead.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Wasn't one of the questions in that we were given
Sam about somebody saying, if Jody were here and we're
hearing this later, what would you want Oh yeah, that
was the last question. What do you want her to
if she were listening to this podcast? What would you
want her to hear? I think is what the question was.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Well, how did you guys answer that? I don't remember.
What did you want me to hear from that?
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I just said all the great things about you. I'd
have to go back and listen to that pod. No,
I did not. I didn't forget. Honestly, it was about
you being my best friend, yes, and what an amazing
mother you've been to our children, and you know the
I'm glad.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
That we got the cars.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
I'm glad we made it through the ups and down.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
You know. Look I heard the podcast and a few
things came to my mind.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
I do you remember pointing out the fact because one
of the questions was when did you know? When did
you first know? All right? And I was like, we
need to get Jody's response on that one too.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Oh yeah, right, you're right.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Okay, I don't know what you did?
Speaker 1 (01:20):
You hear that?
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I think so that was where when?
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I Yeah, My answer on that one was it wasn't immediate.
That you might think that it was.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Now, I would love for that to be the story,
that it was immediate.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
But then it was. I mean, but then once it was,
it was obvious.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I had doubts.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
No, did you really?
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Okay? Well, it was a slow burn. I'm joking with
the doubts. I was very sure about you. No, I didn't.
I was very sure about you. It was a slow burn.
He hired me. We started working together, and when we
were in this room doing this show together every day,
and then when he would ask me to go to
lunch and say we were going to talk about work,
we became very close. We became best friends quickly, and
(01:59):
I felt very I have told this before everybody else
I had ever been with before you light relationships or
even serious relationships, I never had the experience where the
man I was with was also a true friend. In fact,
my past relationships, I felt like those guys were going
(02:20):
against me and like, I don't want you to do
doing that. I don't I want you to do this.
There was a lot of what what he expected and
wanted from me, what his idea of the relationship was.
And that's always true. There's always, you know, two people pull,
a push and a pull and a tug. But there
was in my especially the relationship right before you a
(02:41):
good person, a good relationship, and you know, there was
love there, but there was also I don't want you
to work. I don't want you to do this. Can
you imagine if I would have caved to that, I
would have life, I would not be myself. So I
really got out of that for myself. Getting out of
that relationship was so that I could have the life
(03:04):
I wanted. And then I got this job and we
started working together and that's when we became friends. And
I've told people that before I never knew that a
man could be your best friend, because all the men
in my past were you know, men, boys, whatever, boyfriends,
And so we became friends quickly. And I had always
heard marry your best friend, marry your best friend, and
(03:25):
I thought that happens, But it did for you and me,
it did happen. So when did I know in this
room working with him slowly but surely now there were
things going on that you probably didn't even realize. Sam.
You know, because you know when Murphy Murphy can turn
on the charm. You've seen him do it. He can
(03:46):
do it at the pharmacy, he can do it with
new people at work, anytime he meets people, they're like,
oh my god, your husband is the greatest person in
the world.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Whoa He was turning on the charm in front of me.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, notice on me though, Like you would say something funny,
he would laugh, and I'd look over at him and
he would wink at me and stuff. He was being,
you know, he was turning it.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
On and I didn't know that I was doing Oh
my god.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
So much, so much. That's not really what drew me
to you. The best friend thing drew me to you.
But also your leadership. I'm a very traditional girl. I
like a leader. I mean a lot of women do
like a leader, even if they're strong and independent, which
I am independent minded. I still like that feminine, masculine energy.
(04:31):
I crave it. So when did it happen for me?
I can't pinpoint a moment. I wish I had that
story to tell you, but it happened. It was a
slow burn of this is my best friend, and we
just got closer and closer, and he made the moves
I want to give you a hug. One morning downstairs
before we walked in, we happened to be walking in
(04:52):
at the same time, and he says, look, can I
give you a hug? This was the first time you
ever touched me. And I was like, yes, you can.
So by the light of that light downstairs where we
walk in every morning, I saw a frog this morning.
That's where I knew, Okay, this is going to a
different level. Yeah, okay, that's that's that's way I can
answer your question, right, Okay, moving on to the non proposal,
(05:16):
that was something that was brought up in the podcast. No,
Murphy never proposed to me, and of course back then
because we just knew.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Yeah, And so for anybody that did not hear that
after the show podcast, which was just a few days ago.
By the way, if you want to see my responses
and the answers to your questions, it's there. But that
was really about everything felt so natural in our relationship
in the way that it progressed, that it kind of
got there without you know.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
We were making plans proposal.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Yeah, I know, it's we were making my plans. So
that's what I was explaining, Is it right?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
It did happen so naturally that we knew we were
going to be together. But of course I'm a traditional girl.
Of course I would have liked a proposal. And I
do not say that to make you feel bad, because
I will tell you we've.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Talked about it before. It actually used to make me
feel bad.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I'm sorry, I don't bring it up. Oh I'm gonna
hear me going nice that she got a.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Proposal, Well, especially when the sentences it would have been
nice twenty nine years ago.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Say that. I don't do that.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Let me whip out my time machine.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
But here is something I can pinpoint for you. A
few years into us being married and then we having
kids and being in that life. I looked around my
life and around my friends' lives, and I realized, it
doesn't matter that I didn't have a proposal. I have
a happy life. I remember having those thoughts and feelings
(06:41):
like it was almost as if that was childish or
immature for me to have wanted that, because what I
actually got is a marriage in a partnership. You know,
and not everybody gets that. You know, not that it's
been perfect, it hasn't. And we've had struggles, we've heard
each other, we have had struggles. But that does not
(07:03):
matter to me that you didn't propose. Now back then,
I would have loved it. Yeah, because I am a
traditional well look.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
And I think that everything is time and place. You
begin to realize the longer that you're together. I mean
when you're in your twenties and they're varying degrees of
you know, assurances and maturity level and knowing what you
want in your life. At that you know, most people,
you're so early into it, you're still more about the
things that life has projected on you, about ceremony and
(07:29):
how things are supposed to be done, instead of the
things that will naturally develop in a relationship. Yeah, exactly,
So there's I don't think it's wrong. I think it's
just that it's a time and place thing.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I don't think about that anymore. The proposal thing gets
brought up here, or when proposals get brought up and
people go, how did Murphy propose to you? And I'm like,
funny story, he didn't and it's fine.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Have you ever, Murphy, have you ever thought about like
a surprise and a big anniversary doing that?
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Please?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So Jody will not want that? Okay, yeah, yeah, I
know Jody well enough to know it's the same reason
that Jody doesn't want to do renewal vowels. Because we've
already said that.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
It doesn't mean it's wrong for other people. It's beautiful
and probably needed for other people who have There are
seasons in marriage. So if you need to restrengthen and
redo that, more power to you. I would love to.
I love that for people. I don't feel like I
need that.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yeah, it's interesting. Yeah, yeah, Jody really appreciates I'm talking
about you like you're not even hearing that.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Yeah, I want to know what I appreciate.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
You know, so, but there are things that you will
that Jody finds cheesy, and it's okay.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I don't find those cheesy for other people, correct.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Right exactly. And it's not a judgment again on others,
because everybody's got something. It's just it's just different and
where we are, you know, in our relationship, Jody would
rather to do, you know, do something together that's fun,
that actually engages our relationship, right exactly. And I'm sure
if I did surprise you with something like that, you
wouldn't reject, but it would have to be the right
(09:05):
time and place. It's not going to be like if
I've screwed something up and I'm having to apologize. That's
the worst time, by the way, to go in there
and try to be romantic with Jody. She can't that
cannot stand that. And I learned that the hard way
because usually you think I'm gonna say I'm sorry. I'm
gonna bring some roses. If you want to like Jody
after the next bring her some roses. When she's mad, I.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Have thrown away perfectly good roses. So give me time.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
Okay, it's just time and an apology or.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
What are we talking about when he's mad on me?
When I'm mad? Yeah, I need time and he doesn't.
That's what that was a very difficult thing in the
beginning of our relationship. He wanted to talk about things
right then, and like, if you want me to rip
your head off shore, yeah, but I always need time.
(09:56):
And so he had to learn that, and I've had
to learn I've learned from you with your handling things.
We got to talk about things. I've learned that from you,
that things only get better when we do that. You know.
I think that's my independent spirit that keeps me. I
need a minute. I need you to give me a minute.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
I've learned that from you. Though. That's that's where really,
because yes, I do want things to be resolved, but
I was trying to resolve too much of the emotion
of the moment, where my head's not equally as clear.
I think any conversation, right, it needs to be any
emotionally charged moment. If you're trying to make a decision
in that moment, there's a really strong chance you're going
(10:35):
to make the wrong decision or you're gonna have the
wrong reaction or whatever. And it's okay. It's not a
sign that the relationships busting apart because you need a
twenty four hour cool off period. You just need a
twenty four hour cool off period. But it took me
a little while to learn that because that wasn't in
my mind.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Period that used to make him so nervous, made him
his pursuit even more. Like when we you know, he
would he would follow me around places because we have
to talk about stuff, which made me want to actually
rip his That all, when I need cooling off, that's
the opposite, you know. Anyway, the answer to the non
(11:09):
proposal is that I don't even think about it unless
it's brought up. It is over with, it is forgiven.
It was not. I would rather have the good marriage
that we have than have had a stupid storybook proposal.
Now I'm not a storybook person anyway. I do love,
I do love surprises. I think romance. I think that
(11:32):
things that are romantic are the private jokes, the personal
things that's only between the two of you. The world
cannot define for you. What is romantic. Romantic is what
happens in the in the small, little moments. It's not
big gestures, it's the little thing.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Yeah, exactly, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
So that's for me. And so you think I find
things cheesy but if it's the world telling me that
this is romance, I don't buy that.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah, and look, I understand and you know, parts of that.
It's okay that that is one of the things that
I really do, you know, love about you, that independent spirit.
You are certainly moved by things and touched by things.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
I'm emotional very much.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Our daughters do that, I do that, your mom does,
friends do for you, all of those things. But I
but I like that, I get that part of you.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah, I know, you know, really that's We.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Joke about it here on the show a lot, and
I know because it really is one of the funniest
things to bring up, the whole soulmates thing. We're going
to get there. But now that I've understood that, well
then I won't. I won't, you know, get ahead of
you know on that answer, right, because I think it's
you know, it's two of the same, it's the same thing. Well,
it's tough not to it's tough not to tell you
how awesome all that is that you're here. Now. I
(12:45):
was saying all this without you before, So go ahead,
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Well, I wanted to address three things. Number one, the
proposed and non proposal, so we've we've put that to bed.
The other thing was that you know you, It wasn't
It was a slow burn because there were things about
me that he didn't think he liked, kind of the
way I acted around girlfriends. There were things about you
that made me step back and take a second guest
when we were first new together, such as I knew
(13:09):
Sam was gonna be like what what?
Speaker 1 (13:11):
And I actually think I know the answer.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
He's come a long way with his emotional outbursts. He
used to have. You know, he's a passionate person.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Temper, I mean, you can say it. It was a temper.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, And the first few times I experienced your temper,
what I wanted to do was get away from you.
And then I thought, do I want to get back
because with you know, in with him, because I never
broke up with you, but I thought about it. I
was so intermoil because I was in love with you
and you were my best friend, and I thought, Wow,
(13:42):
this is this is all these boxes being checked that
I didn't know. I didn't know a man could be
my best friend. But he has this serious temper, and
I thought, if he's showing me this now while we're dating.
What's it going to be like when he really lets
his guard down around me and we're at home and
there are kids. I remember having that forward thinking thought
(14:06):
of I don't want to live with that. Yeah, and
so that was the only thing that scared me.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yeah, I can understand that.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
That's the only thing that scared.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Yeah, I can. I mean, I understand that and I but.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
You really have and you know, worked on it.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Well, I've worked on it because I know where it
came from. Now, and that's a whole other podcast, you know,
on it in itself. Yeah, because I'm a naturally passionate
person and that that is the way it is. But
I also grew up in a household where I had
to I had to unlearn a whole lot of things
because you know, in outbursts. That's the really weird paradox
of growing up in a family because because both of
(14:43):
my parents were fantastic human beings, truly some of the
best people ever. My mom would have done anything for
us when we were first married, and you know, the
they bought the first baby beat I mean all they
She was one of the most kind, giving people. But
when she was younger, she was much the same way,
and she grew up in a household where that was
(15:04):
all there was was that kind of yelling. And so
when she would get when she would get mad, it
would take the house over and and and I would say,
probably any not so get shut down a room and yeah,
and she and she did, and mean frequently in male
form there were family get togethers where she would shut
the you know, the room down. But and so I
(15:28):
don't know how much of that again, that's another podcast.
I don't know how much of that was learned. I don't
know how much of its DNA. I don't how much
of it's any of that. The most important thing is
that I do over the years, have understood that you know,
that's not the way to manage it. And honestly, that
is also about changing the way that you see, interpret
and interpret things. And you know, until you actually stop
(15:48):
and really understand that you are your filters, your interpretation
are coloring your sense of the world and it's not
of everybody else's fault. You don't change until you get that. Yeah,
you know, and it's it's difficult because you don't see
it because of your filters. But anyway, for you, you
you know, obviously that caused me to change. You and
(16:09):
I were very and still are very passionate people, and
so so I.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Was either going to stand up to you during those
times or run away, right, And we know because I
didn't like I didn't want that kind of confrontation. I'm
a passionate person too, but I didn't want that kind
of confrontation. I didn't want that kind of energy in
my life and home. And then I knew I was
taking a chance by working with him too, like I
was going to see that at work and home too.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Yeah, and so I think there was a time that
I would would have not been as comfortable even talking
about that, because, uh, that's not obviously how I wanted
to be with you, and that's that's you have been you.
You have helped me with.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
That outweigh that though. The good that you brought outweighed that,
which is why we're here. Okay, So I don't want
to I don't want to get hung up on that
because I don't want to make you feel bad. You've
done a lot of change, You've worked on yourself a
lot well.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Actually, since the podcast, I did, everything I said was nice.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Yeah, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Saying anything bad. You had turn offs in the beginning.
That's that was something that made me think twice. And
then there's that one thing. And my mom said to me, oh, really,
right before we got married, I've told you this before.
My mom said, what do you think your dad would
have thought of him? And I was like, ooh, because
she knew that was a that's a really, that's a
(17:24):
that's a card to play because speaking of my father,
who meant the world to me, he died when I
was young, and I just think she wanted me to
think about that because she also knew that you were
unlike most of the men I had been with and
been attracted to, and things like that. I really don't
know what she meant by that. I never asked her,
and I just I don't remember how I answered her.
(17:46):
But I know now he would have loved you because
of how you know, fiercely protective you are of me,
and things like that. You know, you guys wouldn't have
gone hunting together because he was a hunter. Like that
may be what she meant, you know, I don't.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Well, especially Willis, since I would have been able to
hit anything anyway, I would have been wasting his time.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
How long do we have to sit in this tree.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
I want to move on, though, to the soulmate thing.
I want to address the fact that I don't like
the term soulmates when I know it's a term that
a lot of people just love, and I know the
world wants to hear me say that Murphy is my soulmate.
I say, world, people who listen, I would feel the
(18:31):
same about the term soulmates no matter who I was with. Yeah,
I want you to know that, so you don't need
to take that personally. Maybe it has to do with
being brought up and raised in like so much church
with my grandfather and the word soul. I really believe
that my soul is my own and your soul is
(18:52):
your own. And I also really believe, Yeah, I believe
you the love of my life, but I don't if
something happened to me today, I would not want love
to be ended for you. I would want you to
go on and love somebody else, and I don't want that.
I wouldn't want the soulmate thing to get in the way,
because I believe that all love that we have in
our life is valid. I believe that everybody Sam has
(19:16):
ever loved, he really loved and then it had its time.
And I just think that if you put the stamp
of soulmate, it's wonderful and that's what you do. You
do it. But I just need you to give me
a pass on that and not take it personally. I
don't know if I have a soulmate. I have a
soul and you have a soul and let's live our
(19:37):
lives together. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (19:40):
It makes perfect sense.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
That's the best way I can explain it.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
It's a beautiful explanation, it really is.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Please stop saying it.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Go ahead.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
So I was gonna say, just so you know, I don't.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
I don't.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
I'm the only reason I bring it up is just
for fun, for fun, for jabs and fun, because it's
like I up to years ago. Yeah don't you don't
like soulmates also?
Speaker 1 (20:04):
And I accepted it years ago also, But it took
me a minute because early in the relationship, when you
hear something like that, it's very easy to misunderstand that. Yeah,
you know you really That's why I mean, words themselves
can hit you the wrong way. As long as somebody
is willing to explain what they actually mean by something,
then the context changes. Because early on, I'm like, Okay,
(20:24):
well then what am I investing all this time? And
if I'm not, I was thinking that is so I'm
not the one. But that's not what Judie meant at
all about that. It's it's a perception thing. Can I
ask you one more thing about that? Well? No, because
because I remember you saying this, and I think I
think this goes to I think this goes to the
romance part of it too, that you've experienced some couples
(20:47):
and things in your life where you heard that term
and you saw it in action.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
And I've seen that term. I've heard that term be
thrown around and then a divorced three years later, right,
So you know it's just kind of like, okay, yeah,
and that's my perception, that's my experience with the term soulmates,
you know that. So yeah, I think, do I have
to define what I have with you? You are the
love of my life, you are the father of my children.
(21:14):
I mean, that's that's pretty high up. If you need
another you know, disclaimer. I got to think on it,
because it's you know, I don't it's easy enough and
find it.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
No, No, No, that's the easy and and the way
you just described it is the way that I'll describe
it to somebody in a casual new conversation. She's the
love of my life, she's the mother of our children,
but she's not my soul.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I didn't say not.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
I'm just look, is there any wrong way, no sort
of experience love in your life? I don't think so.
We have a lot of that in our society. Of
love is only successful if it's this way. That's not true.
There are people who have had short relationships were true
and real, But honestly, your relationship with yourself is also
(22:04):
a part of your life and it needs to I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
I just I didn't use that soulmate stuff any in
describing any of my exes. Did I you were just
saying and divorced three years later. I'm thinking that wasn't you.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
And I don't think that you ever. I don't think
you ever described that's just not at that time, it
wasn't in your DNA. I think today you might do
that differently. You don't think so.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I don't think anybody's a soulmate reallyant And I'm not
just piggybacking on Jodie there. It's just one of those things.
It's like, yeah, okay, that's what you want to call it,
then that's what you call it.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yeah, But I guess just in a general sense, you know,
today you are you're more expressive than you were whenever
I first met you, you were more expressive about uh today,
mart Yeah, things that I know that you did. You
have always loved your children, You've always loved you know,
spouse's X or not. But today you've you know, spoken
(22:58):
more about that in terms of your kids and hall us,
you know, and all of that. And I think it's
kind of the same thing. It's just time. Time tends
to hopefully make us a little bit better, and the
things that want up punching you in the gut sometimes
make a difference. And the hardest lesson for me to
learn over time. And I heard some quote about it,
(23:20):
but I'm not going to try to quote because I'm
screw it up. But it has to do with, you know,
being rigid, and basically the analogy was a stiff tree
always breaks in the wind. A willow tree doesn't. It
flows and it bends, And that really is kind of
what we have to do and be mentally, you know,
in our lives to understand that the way that we
(23:40):
see the world is not perfect, and you know, and
our thoughts are not perfect, and the way that we
want to live our lives are not the way that
everybody else should.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
All those things and the final reason, the final thing
about the Soulmates thing for me is that what about
all the people who have struggled in love? It's just
another thing that they can't live up to. You know.
I just like that.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
That is a beautiful point. I didn't think about that.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
You're right, it's a high It sounds like a very
high mark to reach.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah. And that then somehow, if you don't have a
soul made, then there's something wrong.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
And there's not. You're right, you have a soul. End
it there?
Speaker 1 (24:21):
All right?
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Is everybody happy? We feel like we had they?
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Well, I'm glad. Well, And first, thank you for listening
to that podcast.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
You know, a friend of mine told me Murphy's talking
about were n it out? Huh missed any part of
the show. Get it All on the Murphy Salmon Jody Podcast.
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