March 3, 2026 • 51 mins
Zarna Garg is one of the fastest-rising comedians in America. A sold-out touring headliner, streaming special comedy star, and breakout voice redefining what midlife success looks like, Zarna didn’t step onto a stand-up stage until she was 44.
In this electric and deeply personal episode of My Legacy, Zarna joins hosts Martin Luther King III, Arndrea Waters King, Marc Kielburger, and Craig Kielburger to talk about losing her mother at 14, leaving home, immigrating to the U.S., and reinventing herself more than once. By her side is her plus one — her daughter Zoya — the person who dared her to try stand-up and helped turn her jokes into a viral, sold-out comedy career.
Together, they share how:
- It’s never too late to reinvent yourself
- The life experience you think disqualifies you may be your greatest advantage
- Betting on yourself can change your family’s future
- Reinvention requires courage — not permission
- Your voice gets stronger with age
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My career was on a roll in twenty nineteen, and
then the world shut down, and you know, in America,
everybody was debating where did the virus come from? Was
it about, was it a lab? It came from my
mother in law's kitchen. This woman was gonna do whatever
it took to take me down.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Sarnagark has sold out stages around the world, racked up
billions of views, writ in the New York Times best
selling memoir, and launched two comedy specials on Prime Video
and Hulu. How by turning her life into one of
the funniest shows on the internet.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Oh no, there's a lot of fighting, but we saved
that for the TikTok. We don't fight unless we can
monetize it anymore.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
She'll unfollow me on Instagram.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
She'll message my brothers, I'm never talking to your sister again.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Please let her know that I feel that way.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
And she's brought along.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Her daughter, Zoya, the person who believed in her before
she believed in herself, pushing her to step on stage
at forty four.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
We were just trying to make a living. We were
in such financial dire straits when my husband lost his job.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
She did a open mic at the worst stand up
comedy club in the world, and there were two or
three people in the audience that had bought the five
dollars ticket, and the people in the audience were just dying.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
They were falling off their chairs.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Join host Martin for King. The third Andrea Waters, King,
Mark Kilberger and Craig Kilberger were a hilarious and heartfelt
conversation about starting again, defying expectations, and what becomes possible
when family believes in you.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
First you can sit there and be consumed by the
overwhelming nature of being stuffed Orseidio.
Speaker 5 (01:30):
Says, welcome to my legacy. Today's guest has lived what
most people would call an impossible dream, from surviving on
her own in Mumbai at just fourteen years old to
becoming one of the most original voices in comedy right now.
(01:51):
Zara Gard didn't just break through, She's become a cultural phenomenon.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
Zarna. In case you can't.
Speaker 5 (01:58):
Tell, we are thrilled to have you with us today,
and as always on this show, our extraordinary guests bring
along someone who has been meaningful in their journey.
Speaker 6 (02:08):
Zarna.
Speaker 5 (02:09):
Welcome and would you do us the honor of introducing
your plus one.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
First of all, thank you so much for having me.
What an honor to be in this company and in
this mix. I have brought with me my apprentice, my friend,
although she's on a waiting list for the friendship honestly,
but my daughter, my oldest child, my daughter, Zoya Gard,
(02:35):
who is a recent graduate of Stanford University in computer
science in case anybody was wondering.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
And classics if anyone was wondering, and classics, because she
managed to sneak that in there, and her presence is
important to me in this podcast because she was the
one who helped me get started in comedy.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
As you can imagine, not a single South Asian woman
on Earth is waking up thinking I hope I become
a comic. That's not a thing in our culture, like
having fun is not a thing in our culture. But
my all American kids saw it in me before I
saw it in me or anybody else did. And for
that reason, she's now part of my business. She just
(03:16):
graduated Stanford. She's running my business now and helping it
grow and enter a digital phase.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Thank you so much for having.
Speaker 7 (03:24):
Me, Thank you for being with us. We're honored to
have you and have this conversation.
Speaker 6 (03:30):
And congratulations on your recent graduation.
Speaker 7 (03:34):
On this show, we like to go all the way
back to where it kind of started. Someone asked you
about a moment that was both heartbreaking and life changing.
You were just fourteen years old when your mother tragically died.
Your father told you that you had two choices, get
married by arrangement or leave home. Can you take us
(03:58):
back to that moment and face seeing that choice?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
So this story is extremely is completely accurate, But the
truth is that I wasn't. I wasn't heartbroken then because
I thought he was kidding. I didn't believe that he
meant that. You know, he was also shocked from losing
his wife, my mother, So when he said all that,
(04:21):
I was like, oh, this is a moment, this is
gonna pass. Like there's no way he means this. So
it wasn't actually heartbreaking as much as it was like,
what am I supposed to do? Because we were both
grieving in our own ways. You know, I was shocked
that my mom. I didn't even know she was that
sick because they don't tell the kids anything back home.
(04:44):
They don't actually like, you know, how in America would
be like, who's going to talk to the kids. That's
not a thing in India. The kids are kind of
in the background. They just hear whatever's in the air.
So I didn't even know she was as sick as
she was. And then I heard one day that she's no.
So I had my own shock, and then he had
(05:04):
his own shocks. And I didn't leave my house like
wanting to take a big stand. But at fourteen fifteen,
if your parent tells you do this or else, you
immediately think, well, I don't have to be here. I
have so many friends I could be hanging out with.
And that's kind of how that moment erupted and grew
because I told him, no, I'm not getting married, and
(05:25):
he's like, if you don't get married, you can't live here.
I was a foe who wants to be here anyway?
I have so many friends And it kind of was
one of those moments that then never reverse course. As
time went by, I realized how serious he was, and
then the reality of my limited options started setting in
(05:45):
over time immediately after those days.
Speaker 8 (05:48):
Just on that note, because I understand, and after that
you spent a year homeless and then eventually agreed to
marry somebody that your father chose in that process. Just
before the wedding, your visit to the United States came through.
So take us back to that time and what was
your first few months in America?
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Like so, I it was almost two years actually a
year and a half plus of drifting of what in
America is called CouchSurfing. So it wasn't it wasn't homeless
in that traditional way that I was literally out on
the streets, but I was like trying to lob pieces
together with this person can take me in on Monday,
(06:24):
but if you can take me in on Thursday, then
I'm going to find like a bridge in between. You know.
My mom had a lot of goodwill with her friends,
so they there were a lot of people concerned for
my well being, but they were also very afraid of
my dad. My dad was a very powerful rich man
in that world, so they didn't want to they didn't
(06:46):
want to like take the daughter in permanently. But they
also couldn't just shut the door in my face. So
it was a lot of push and pull, and at
some point I gave up. I was like, I can't
you know, you wear the system wears you out, Like
at some point you exhausted, You're like, this is not happening.
So I did go back to my dad and I
was like, I actually remember saying you win. I didn't
(07:09):
know what else to say, so I was like, you
win whatever you want to do, you know, And he
didn't see it as a win. Just to be clear,
he was not a mean person. He was not a
horrible person. In his eyes. He was doing what was
right for his kid. Back where I come from, even today,
a lot of women get married in their teen years.
This is not an unusual thing. Certainly fourteen fifteen was
(07:33):
a little younger than the norm. But we were not
talking about a world where it's never been done. It's
been done all the time. So he was very very
much like, okay, now you've come to your senses. But
the day I met the guy that he had set
me up with, and he, I'm sure is a lovely
man today married to a woman my age, That's the
(07:54):
day I got a telegram saying my visa had been approved.
Speaker 7 (07:57):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Because I had been trying for so long and my
sister living in America was trying to help me and
trying to figure out, like how the paperwork works. You know,
it's like getting a proper visa to come to America
is not easy, especially from India. So much paperwork involved,
so much proof involved.
Speaker 8 (08:16):
Wow, when you were hearing and have come to understand
your mom's trials and tribulations, ups and downs, how did
that change your perspective and your relationship with her?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Well, she wouldn't tell me anything.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
When you're growing up in America, you are told to
ask questions, especially about your family's history and your family's background.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
And your mom is shaking her head for those of
our listeners who are listening, and your mom is shaking
her head as you're saying that, yeah, because you.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
Know, you want to know where you came from. But
when I would ask her questions, she would say, yes, no,
focus on your homework.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
You know, like why are you asking me these questions?
Speaker 4 (08:58):
And over time I became persistent enough that I would
get fragments. You know, I would say, oh, how did
you where were you born? You know, Oh I was
born in India. Okay, how did you get to America?
Oh it's a long story. But I lived with your aunt,
and you know, I would start to pick up the
puzzle pieces. And when I was growing up, I started
to realize, well done, these puzzle pieces look very different
(09:20):
than a lot of my peers. There's something different in
this story. And it became so obvious when I was
kind of a teenager and she was starting to start
her own businesses that something was very different about her
resilience and the way that she thought about building things.
It was just way more fearless than anything I'd ever
(09:41):
seen in my life.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
So to answer your question, I didn't know anything.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
And it took me probably fifteen years, and then after
the book came out, I finally got the whole story
with everyone else.
Speaker 6 (09:51):
Wow, And let me tell you something.
Speaker 5 (09:53):
As a mom, you're gonna keep discovering more and more
things you don't know our door like every other she's like, oh,
I didn't know that about you. I didn't knowh So
you think you know there's still more to uncover.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
And you can't tell these kids anything. Everything traumatizes that,
everything gives them anxiety. What am I going to tell her?
What am I gonna tell her?
Speaker 2 (10:14):
That?
Speaker 4 (10:14):
Like?
Speaker 1 (10:14):
It was you know, my son, her little one was like,
how do I not know any of this? Because he
read the book? His classmates were reading the book, And
I was like, don't read the book because it was
not easy. But if I tell you that, like, that's
ten thousand dollars of therapy, I'll have to pay.
Speaker 6 (10:32):
I have to ask this question.
Speaker 5 (10:34):
You were twenty two years old when you posted a
personal ad. Some of our listeners may not know what
that is. But that's like before the dating apps, and
in the ad. I'm going to read exactly what you
wrote because I think it's.
Speaker 6 (10:49):
Great to some.
Speaker 5 (10:51):
I am too short or too plump, too dark, or
too argumentative, But enough about me. This is what I
need from you. Kindly include your most recent tax returns
and medical records. Now, your future husband responded, is this
ridiculous ad?
Speaker 8 (11:09):
For real?
Speaker 5 (11:10):
And that was over twenty five years ago and you
all are still together. What's the biggest mistake you see
young people making when they're looking for a partner.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
There's this idea that you can cast a wide net,
meet everybody, and then the right one will show up.
I actually believe the opposite. I think cast a very
narrow net. Look for exactly what you want, or you
think you want, at least, because there's just no point
lying about what might or might not work. You know,
(11:43):
the things that you were gravitating towards that makes sense
in your world. And also, time is so limited. I
remember I was like graduating law school. I didn't feel
like at that time, I thought, oh my god, my
time is up because the world I came from twenty
two was being a spring. It was too late. So
I think the big mistake people make is trying to
(12:05):
be everything to everybody. You have to be something to somebody,
one person, and that's it. Now I can read the
things I needed from him, because I think it was
very specific and I and I stuck to it, and
I actually think it helped me. I mean, is it different.
Speaker 8 (12:21):
Did you get the tax of turns of medical records?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Pey yet?
Speaker 3 (12:24):
No?
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Well he fought it, honestly. He was not happy about
it because he came from a modern America, and I
was like, oh, whatever, you own your modern America. This
is what I need from you. A husband and a partner,
somebody who's ambitious but not ruthless, confident but not arrogant,
and humble but not timid. Most of all, he is honest.
(12:47):
Twenty seven years later, too honest. But that's a different problem.
Speaker 6 (12:50):
I understand that.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
I am on a mission to build a very successful life,
and you must be ready to go with me. Only
contact me if you want to get get married. No,
friends now include your tax returns in medical records. So
that's the other thing. A lot of people in the
dating world will be like, we should be friends, Like, no,
there's not an app for friendship, Like, you know, if
(13:15):
some guy doesn't want to get married, like, why are
we and you want to, let's say that's what you
want for yourself. Why would you waste time? You know
what I mean? So I personally think people should be
very specific about what they want and believe and have
faith that that's out there. Yeah, and not be scared
about it.
Speaker 6 (13:34):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
I don't know if the listeners can tell, but she
was glaring at me really intently as she was giving
this entire speech because she thinks that she should have
a pretty large say and who I date.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
And especially who I marry.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
I should basically have no criteria on my own and
should adopt hers as my only criteria. So we go
back and forth on this a lot, because I actually
think you learn a lot about yourself by dating people,
and I don't think it needs to be so black
and white, and you need to find your partner to
be married to.
Speaker 6 (14:06):
Immediately, your mom is shaking her head.
Speaker 8 (14:11):
I have I have two daughters, and I have to
be to agree with your mom in this one.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Thank you, Mark, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
How old are your daughters?
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Mark?
Speaker 8 (14:19):
Oh? Sorry, thanks for asking. I've got fourteen going on
twenty eighth. My goodness, I've got eleven. That's the fact.
Oh boy, yesterday, yesterday we had this lovely conversation about
alcohol and whether it's appropriate at the age of eighteen
to drink alcohol as a quote unquote rite of passage.
(14:41):
So Zarna, what do you think about that one? If
I could get your advice on it.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Two of my kids are adults and they have both yogis,
and it's actually annoying. I used to think, don't drink alcohol.
Now I'm like, drink a little because this generation has
taken a whole another extreme position where it's like you
could never touch this, you can never touch that. So
if they catch me drinking, I get reprimanded. What I
(15:08):
think you'll see Mark, and you guys when your kids
go to college, there is a real non alcohol movement
that's very real. Like you know, our generation grew up,
we couldn't wait, that's just not the case that I
find with these kids.
Speaker 7 (15:23):
So you're watching your mom and dad's relationship. One of
the biggest lessons you've learned about what makes a marriage
work that you want to carry into your relationships.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Don't talk to each other.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
They are so intensely loyal to one another, and yet
I've never seen them hold hands. I've never seen them kiss,
I've never seen them go on a romantic candlelight dinner.
I have seen them do what I actually think are
the important things, which are figure out how to build
a life together. Intensely loyal to one another. You know,
(16:02):
my on a sincere note my and we talk about
this on our family podcast too. It's a very open discussion.
But during COVID, my dad lost his very you know,
comfortable finance job, and his identity was very tied to
his ambition and to his success in this job. And
at this point, my mom's career had just started to
(16:22):
take off, but was nowhere close to where.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
It is now.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
And I think a lot of people would have taken
my dad's you know, he really had to redefine what
success looked like for him and come out from under,
you know, seeing his entire self worth tied to this job,
and for years my mom and him like, no matter
how hard it got figured out, like, how are we
(16:49):
gonna do this?
Speaker 3 (16:49):
How are we gonna build a life for each for.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
Coming out of this, like he launched his own podcast,
he launched his own business. Coming out of this, my
dad turned into a social media personality. I don't think,
like I want to explain how phenomenally interesting that is.
It's so so normal for American people to take creative
ambition because we've normalized it, and that's a good thing.
But for my dad, who went to it, which is
(17:13):
the most renowned science and math college in the world,
to go from like a chemical engineer to a finance
professional to now a podcast host who is helping people
learn about money, like the heroic trajectory of that.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
No one in his community had ever seen that.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
And that was entirely because of my mom's support and
just loyalty and in designing together.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
But they've never done any.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
Of the They never did any of the fluffy stuff,
you know, like there was none of the like you
know in dating culture.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Now it's like, did he comment on my Instagram?
Speaker 6 (17:52):
Oh my god, your mom is rolling her ass.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
He's blocked on my page. He's blocked on my page.
I don't want him to comment. Please, I don't want
to hear whatever he's thinking. No way, if we don't
even follow, this is true. Your producers can check this.
He unfollowed me, Emmy, Wow, what was his reasoning? He's like,
(18:17):
you post too much stuff about all this other stuff.
I can't it's too much activity on my page. And
he just unfollowed me.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
He only follows Bloomberg.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
He follows all these finance people.
Speaker 8 (18:30):
That's so funny. Zoya, Obviously you've not only adore your mom,
but you've had a huge impact on her career. So,
if I'm not mistaken, at the age of sixteen, you,
at her birthday gave her one hundred and forty six
handwritten notes, nonetheless handwritten notes, encouraging her from her friendship
group to become a comedian. So what did you see
(18:51):
in her that nobody else had articulated clearly until you
by those handwritten notes.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
I saw her funniness, her storytelling skills as something that
could make us money. You know, she was really a
personality from the moment I was born.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
My friends would.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
Always want to come to my house because we obviously
had the best food, of course obviously, but on top
of that, they wanted to get advice from Auntie Zarna.
They wanted to hear what she had to say on
every topic, on who has a crush on who, what
the mean teacher is saying. You know, she just had
this magnetism that was so obvious that, especially when I
(19:31):
was sixteen. She had started several businesses at this point,
Tomato sauce company, matchmaking, business, tutoring, and these businesses were
not working because the products weren't the right fit. But
what I would notice in all of these businesses that
she started was people would buy whatever she was selling
(19:52):
just because they wanted an extra minute with her. And
it was just such a nascent idea. And for her
birthday when I was sixteen. At this point, I had
said why don't you try stand up comedy several times,
which she would always reply, that's not a job, right
You can't get paid to make people laugh.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
And I was like, we're in America, that's actually like
the coolest job in the world.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
I had reached out to several of her friends and
family members, but I didn't lead the question. I just said, Hey,
I'm assembling a gift for mom. Just write anything and
I'll transcribe it. But I knew that everyone was going
to comment on her personality, her warmth, and the ability
that she had to make people feel good about themselves
(20:35):
and feel good about the world we were heading into.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
And that's exactly what happened.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
When she started picking out the notes, it was like,
one by one by one, every single message was like,
you are the funniest person that I know. And then
very shortly after, she did a open mic at the
worst stand up comedy club in the world. It won't
be named, because I don't even think there is a name,
and there were two or three people in the audience
that had bought the five dollars ticket, and she was
(21:02):
just ranting I remember about me and her mother in
law and math and how we all need to be
doing more math. And the people in the audience were
just dying. They were falling off their chairs, and I
remember the club manager said, how long has she been
doing this to me?
Speaker 3 (21:18):
And I was like, whoa, we have a business here.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
And then it just kept and then you know everything
else from that point onwards, I want to be really
truthful a lot of people credit me and my brothers,
but to have taken that Nason idea and turned it
into the empire that she has that was entirely from
her and her adaptability and resilience. I mean, I think
she's actually a visionary. It's so hard for me to
have an opinion now because I think she's so brilliant
(21:43):
that I'm like, why should I have an opinion, Like
she should just tell me what did do?
Speaker 1 (21:48):
And that's why mom controls the dating decisions, because mom
can tell you what to do exactly.
Speaker 5 (21:54):
But it seems like Zoia the daughter controls the professional.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
No, she does. She's running my whole company now.
Speaker 5 (22:03):
And think about that though, like literally, like from you know,
our age, like we were raised like we give the
children the advice. Yeah, so the fact that in this
instance your children really really were the impetus to really
give you the professional advice.
Speaker 6 (22:20):
And we see how the story has ended.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Well it's ongoing. I mean, the story about her notes.
I just want to say, this is the reason she
didn't get a perfect score on the SAT. She was
too busy writing. She lost ten points. I was so
angry when I found out she was wasting time on
these notes, but the story is still ongoing. It is
unfolding because she's leading us into a digital world. That's
(22:45):
why she's living in San Francisco, because you know, you
have to adapt even to that. I'm a stand up
comic and you guys are podcasting. It's like, but we
don't know what next year is going to look like,
what the next iteration of this business is gonna look
So she's stasked with taking our company into the next generation.
And that's what she's doing out there.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
And one note I want to make on adaptability because
I actually think this story is super important and we
don't talk about it enough. So early on in her career,
when she was doing open mics, she started to actually
gain some traction at the clubs.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
This was pre pandemic.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
But then as soon as she got her biggest headlining gig,
which was at Caroline's on Broadway, the club's closed because
the pandemic happened and comedians had no idea what to do.
I mean, this was their life's work to perform in clubs,
especially at her stage. We had had all these recordings
of her jokes and my brother Bridge, who was you know,
(23:43):
he was fourteen at the time, and at this point
he was addicted to TikTok. He was like, I think
we should cut these jokes up and upload them on TikTok.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
And this point in time that was foreign because for
comedians the.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Idea was to save all your material so that you
could sell tickets to your show.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Comedians would never post their stand up online.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
Why would you do that. You're giving away the goods
for free. And my brother was insistent. He was like,
if we are the first.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
Ones to put comedy online, mom might.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Skyrocket and people might just see her as like the
funniest comedian ever. And so he uploaded her first ever
I've never said I Love you to my husband joke
on TikTok. This was two weeks into the pandemic, and
I remember he uploaded it and it was like one
hundred thousand views, two hundred thousand views, a million views,
ten million views, and we kept seeing the number refresh and.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
We were like, is this the lottery? Did we just
win something? Like what's going on? Is this a scam?
Speaker 4 (24:43):
And it wasn't a scam, Like the joke was being
shared by millions of people around the world, and she
is the she was the one who started that movement.
Now every comedian posts their jokes online, but if she
had not adapted in that moment, that was one of
the critical moments in the business.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
I don't even know if I would have a job
right now if that hadn't worked out and she hadn't
made that leap of faith.
Speaker 6 (25:04):
And that came from your brother, Yeah, but.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
It came from my brother and her also being so
fearless and seeing like, if we don't roll the dice,
we will not move forward. We can't do the same
thing as everyone else because we're too late into this game,
and that's not gonna work for us.
Speaker 8 (25:21):
I think we're all dying. Why have you never told
your husband?
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Why you Well, I would never do that. It's only
been twenty seven years. There's no rush, no no oh.
So it's just not something we do. It's just not
I can't even you know. I was on a TV show,
like a news show, and they're like, do you want
to see it? Do you want to say it? I
was like, no, I have no desire. We're good, We're
(25:45):
really good. If she said it to me, they offered
to call him so I could say it. I said,
if I called him and said it now over the phone.
He's gonna think I'm in a car accident and I'm
about to pass. That's not chock it please you.
Speaker 6 (26:00):
You're just saving it for a really good time.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
Like she said, I love you to an Amazon customer
service rap. By the way, that's the only person he
found a missing package like you.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
If you order a lot, you know that's what's.
Speaker 7 (26:17):
Your mom has talked about the wait list for Friendship.
You're on the list, but your brother Bridge is always
number one.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
You complain a lot. That's not helping you.
Speaker 5 (26:32):
But Zara, when you started comedy listen, there were no
female Indian comedians doing what you're doing. Yeah, and then
you also wear bendi on stage. You joke about mother
in law's arranged marriages, all the things that Indian women
typically don't.
Speaker 6 (26:47):
Discuss in public.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
What was the initial reaction from the Indian community And
I'm very curious and also did that change over time?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
My community has been most supportive since day one, but
they didn't know what it was. We are not a
people who go to clubs for fun, to drink, to
hang out. That's not our world. It's not a word.
We are comfortable and I had never stepped foot in
a comedy club until the day I did the open mic.
I didn't know what this thing was where people just
(27:16):
sit around and tell jokes and pay money for it.
But also, remember when I tried comedy, I had already
failed at so many things. My community was fed up
of announcements from me. The match making was such a
big I made this big grand I'm a matchmakers, and
all your kids to me. And then it was the
(27:36):
most traumatic experience for my community because I was telling
everybody it was too late. They needed to lose weight.
This guy is never gonna find anybody. Oh my god.
By the time I got to comedy, people were like,
whatever she wants to do, it's great, you have our blessings,
go do it. It started making sense when actually it
was not the Indian community, but it was all the
(27:58):
other Americans started coming out and being like, oh my god,
this is so funny because making mother in law jokes
is not a new thing. It has existed in culture,
just not in our culture. So we had a lot
of non Indians who would come out and be like,
oh my god, Like I'm telling you, the black community
often tells me that they have an auntie just like
(28:19):
me who's got a big mouth.
Speaker 6 (28:21):
Absolutely right.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
So it's like this was not new to a lot
of community. The Jewish community is always telling me that, like,
I sound like a Jewish mom. So it kind of
started turning. And then more and more Indians started coming
out with the idea that, oh, we're just gonna like
sit and have fun on a Saturday night. Like I've
(28:44):
joked about this with Tina and Amy. I opened for
Tina Fae and Amy Polar for two years and I
told him, I said, Indians don't watch Saturday Night Live
because we think Saturday night is for that extra Sat class.
We would never waste a Saturday night on like having fun.
But now more and more they come out, and they
(29:06):
come out in families. They bring their own mother in law.
Oh my god, so many people bring their mother in
law to my show because they're like give her a message,
Like they want to pay me extra to deliver messages
to their Like they'll they bring their kids and be
like tell him not to do history.
Speaker 8 (29:22):
You know, what do we need to know about mother
in laws? This is really important? Oh my god, what
just just give us a quick schooling.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
Mother and I'm telling you my career was on a
roll in twenty nineteen. I had just sold out Carolines
on Broadway, which was a big deal, and then the
world shut down, and you know, in America, everybody was
debating where did the virus come from? Was it a bat,
was it a lab? It came from my mother in
law's kitchen. This woman was gonna do whatever it took
(29:53):
to take me down. And that is that is what
a mother in law is. Right now, Wow, she's actively.
I have more than thirteen thousand amazing reviews for my book.
The handful of one star reviews have all come from
the same region in India as suspiciously close to where
(30:15):
she lives. Is it a coincidence?
Speaker 6 (30:18):
I cannot wait until your mother in law.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Oh I'm gonna be horrible. The level I'm gonna be horrible.
I can already see it because everybody my kids bring
home is no good.
Speaker 5 (30:31):
No, no, no, it's good. Now you said that you
open for Tina Fey and Amy Poehler on their tour. Now,
these are two of the most successful iconic women in comedy.
Getting to watch them perform night after night and seeing
how they work up close and personal what's the one
thing that you took away that stayed with you.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
You can mix business and pleasure. I grew up in
a generation that said, don't mix business and pleasure, because
the men went to work, the women stay home. That's
the way I grew up. That's what I grew up seeing.
Then now I saw these two women best friends who
built individually huge empires themselves. But a big reason they've
(31:11):
been able to build it is because they have each
other even to lean on through the tough times, sometimes
to make that extra call for the other person. I
really learned the in fact, they inspired me to have
the courage to say to my daughter, turned down every
big tech job and come work with me. I don't
know if I had not seen them up close, if
(31:33):
I would have had the courage to make that big
move for my daughter. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 6 (31:38):
Yeah, the power of women in community too.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
And I think women and friends building together is a
very real thing. And I mean I saw them hang
out with all their SNL friends, you know, backstage, and
they're all individually building their own things. But I think
that they are so successful in part because they have
each other yea, And that is the opposite of what
I believe most of my life growing up.
Speaker 5 (32:02):
Yeah, women we build webs and men build ladders, so
we act write webs and connections and so yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Exactly, And I really saw it, and then it changed
how I decided to build my business.
Speaker 8 (32:17):
Yeah, speaking about your business, Zoya, obviously you've helped to
build your mom's business. What's been the hardest part about
being both her of course the daughter of your mother
and her business partner.
Speaker 4 (32:30):
We could really use an HR department, No, I think
actually the hardest part for me has been learning how
to define my own narrative because so many people see
what I'm doing with my mom.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
As the most unusual thing.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
They can't even wrap their heads around the fact that
I love working with my mom so much and I
learned so much from her every day that it is
the best possible thing for me right now. I think
I have had the experience where I've gotten minimized to oh,
she's a NEPO baby, and it's like, whoa, we didn't
even have anything until a few years ago. Yeah, And
(33:10):
so to be honest, that was that's been a real
challenge for me, is like staying the course and knowing
that what we're building together is so important and focusing
especially on exactly the community she's talking about at our shows.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
For six months after I graduated Stanford.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
I went on tour and I was at every tour
stop learning about who is enjoying our products, like who
is bought into our world. And the most fascinating thing
I learned is so many people who came to that
show were it was their first ever comedy show. And
to think that this art form is being introduced to
so many people for the very first time that has
(33:48):
like historically, not to be a classicist about it, like
that is how people have like overcome really really hard
moments is through laughter together. And then the second I
did study computer science, so I get traditional technology software
options that looked really sexy at the time to be honest,
like really great paychecks in San Francisco, build the future right,
(34:09):
like it's just really cool. But it was November and
my mom's memoir, she had just finished writing her memoir.
In order to have a book land successfully, there's a
very long pre order process that leads up to that
book's publication, and that pre order, if it's handled correctly,
is what determines.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
The success of the book. Based on the pre orders,
bookstores will stop the book.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
They will, you know, put it on all sorts of
really amazing lists that helped us sell the book in perpetuity.
My mom was looking to hire somebody for this job,
and she said, I think you should take this job,
and I think you should try working with me.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
And I was like, what, you want me to sell
a pre order? What's that?
Speaker 4 (34:49):
I didn't even know what a pre order was, Like,
what is the concept of a pre order of a book?
You're gonna sell something that doesn't even exist yet.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
That's wild, right, And she was like, no, I think
you should take this job and learn how to sell.
Speaker 4 (35:01):
That's a skill that will be part of your life
for the rest of your life. And so my senior
year of Stanford I set a goal to sell ten
thousand pre orders of her book. I flew all across
the country doing pop ups in every city. I think
we did four or five live streams every single week.
We collaborated and designed all sorts of viral moments with
famous comedians. We used every AI tool in the book.
(35:24):
There have been several write ups about that and how
we designed that process and instantly when the book came
out in April. It made every single bestseller list instantly,
and now authors around the world reach out to me
and they're like, so, how.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
Did you do it for your mom?
Speaker 4 (35:39):
And the reason I'm mentioning that is, especially with family businesses,
it was incredibly important to see if we actually could
work together. Wasn't like I just decided to take the job,
like I actually had to really earn the job. And
there were moments during that pre order process that I
was not doing a good job and I wasn't selling
the books, and she was like, I'm going to give
this job to someone else if you can't figure it out.
(36:01):
So it wasn't you know, it was a build up process.
Speaker 7 (36:04):
Wow, amazing, amazing, as Erna, you've said that everywhere you go,
daughters from immigrant families reach out to Zoya and tell her.
Because of what your mom said on stage, I was
able to have a conversation with my parents that I
couldn't have before. So I want to ask you both,
(36:26):
what has been the most meaningful message you've received.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
I mean, I know that when I do private events,
and I do very few now, but I do do
them weddings and things, often there are elderly Indian people
lined up to meet me, and sometimes they start crying
and they you know, they'll tell me. They'll be like,
you know, we've lived in America sixty seventy years and
(36:52):
we've laughed at jokes we don't understand for sixty seventy years,
and you know, for the first time, we laughing at
something that feels like our story. And it really changed
how I saw myself in the business. So, you know,
for my people, it's been a big thing. For our people,
like Indian people, we don't talk to our kids in
(37:14):
that way. Like here in America, there is a lot
of like how will what do the kids think? And
how you know, how are you going to take care
of them? In India, they just grow. They kind of
just background plants. They parted and they grow. Nobody ever
thinks about it. We have a family podcast and the
first topic we choose chose was what do you know
about sex? And we five of us talked about it
(37:38):
and I was like, it's we had never done, you know.
I started the podcast on a whim. I just took
I just booked a studio in New York and I said,
let's just go and see what happens. My husband was shocked,
like if you watched that first episode, He's like, I
thought we're going to talk about like the valley or
New Year or Christmas or something. What is this topic?
(37:58):
And I was saying, no, let's just find out what
the kids know. We don't even know what our own
kids know. And the fact that people are opening up
these discussions. I mean, I worked in a gay rom
com two years ago. I'm the mother in that movie.
It's an Indian, it's an American production. That movie has
helped countless Indian gay kids come out of the closet.
(38:23):
The fact that these things are all happening because of
the work that we are doing. We were just trying
to make a living. I'm being honest. We were not
trying to launch a movement or anything. We were in
such financial dire straits when my husband lost his job.
You know, we thought we had savings, but when you
don't have income, the savings go so fast you don't
(38:46):
realize it. It just it bleeds like Niagara falls. I
remember waking up and like our four oh one k
was down. Everything felt like our real estate market crashed
around us. We couldn't even move all we would trying
to do is make an honest living with integrity. But
we kind of entered the space and now we're in
(39:07):
a place where all we want to do is serve
our audience because it has been so underserved. Like as
soon as Zoya came on board, I said, Zoya, what's
a digital thing you can create to serve our audience.
And we realized that our audience loves word games. They
even in their free time, want to do spelling beats.
(39:27):
So we launched a word game right away.
Speaker 4 (39:30):
And it got like ten thousand plays and like one night,
I remember we launched it and it was like everyone
was competing to get the egg grade on the Zornaguarde
word game. And it was people were writing in messages
like because some of the letters could spell a different
word and they had missed a few seconds that they
could have gotten if that word had been accepted. I
was getting angry messages from wives of husbands who hadn't
(39:53):
gotten their correct ranking, and I was like, Wow, our
community is the best. I mean, this is a little
bit of a hetache, it's a little bit of a heartache,
but I I think all of you will appreciate it.
I think that we're too soft on American kids.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Now, I think we are.
Speaker 4 (40:05):
I think that's one of the things that's really not
a good thing about I don't know why it's the case.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
My mom has always.
Speaker 4 (40:12):
Been extremely hard on me, and I'm so grateful that
she set such a high standard. Like can you imagine
this woman in my senior year of college is like
sell ten thousand pre orders?
Speaker 3 (40:21):
Like that is an absurd people, all these parents are like,
how could you just expect your kid to do that
for you?
Speaker 1 (40:26):
But it was so obvious.
Speaker 4 (40:28):
I was like, oh yeah, totally, Like we're gonna do
that now, okay, Like that makes sense.
Speaker 7 (40:32):
We're building something real here, one episode at a time.
If you want to be part of its, subscribe, it's free,
it matters, and we're just getting started.
Speaker 8 (40:42):
Well, So I love the fact that you and your
mom have such a loving and very close relationship.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
They also there's a lot of fighting, Like there's a
lot of oh my god, but we save that for
the tick dok. We we save it. You know, we
don't fight unless we can monetize it anymore.
Speaker 5 (40:57):
No, So like no, but like behind the scenes, if
you're getting ready to have a heated discussion is it
like a part of you is like, wait a minute,
let's save it. Let's save it for the let's save it.
This is really good.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
No, No, every part of me. It's not a small part.
It's a big part. It's like, put turn that camera
on right now.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
I am the mature one in our fights.
Speaker 4 (41:19):
Though, She'll she'll unshare her find my location with me,
she'll unfollow me on Instagram, she'll message my brothers.
Speaker 3 (41:28):
By the way, I'm never.
Speaker 4 (41:29):
Talking to your sister again. Please like let her know
that I feel that way wild, this type of fighting
style as wild.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
And I tell them I'm like, choose a side and
publicly announced wich side you're on.
Speaker 4 (41:42):
Publicly tell people on Instagram whose side you're on?
Speaker 8 (41:46):
Was It wasn't it until you went to Stanford, three
thousand miles away from your mom that you realize that
not every child has the same relationship with their mother
as you do with your mother. Of course, in that case,
obviously a lot of kids were made decisions without consulting
their mother first. So what's some of the best advice
that your mom's given you.
Speaker 4 (42:07):
The best piece of advice my mom gave me was
to start working full time as quickly as possible and
treat college as almost this social club opportunity.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
You know, Like I this is also a bit of
a hot take. But I you know, in my senior year,
when I was running.
Speaker 4 (42:21):
This pre order process, I got really bad grades. My
teachers loved me because I loved school so much. Like
I would always be like, can I submit my essay
four weeks in advance? Or can I take the exam
on this day? And I was constantly missing class because
I was, you know, flying all over the world. But
she she was like, I think that you'll learn more
by working full time, and you should treat college as
(42:42):
an opportunity to like meet amazing people and to create
great relationships with your professors and nurture your education. But
you're not here to get like perfect grades. You're here
to like complete your degree and find out how to
like graduate and start being useful in the workforce.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
You know, learning how to be useful now is really hard.
Speaker 4 (43:04):
It used to be that you could be useful by
just like you know, getting a law degree, and then
you'd be useful in law or like becoming a doctor.
Then you'd be useful there. But like, now, how do
you even be useful and productive. This is like a
big top of mine question, and so she was like,
you need to figure this out as soon as possible.
So I'm glad she pushed me to work full time
sooner rather than later.
Speaker 7 (43:26):
Well, Zoia, I want to talk about the family podcast
that you both referenced with your mom, your dad, your
two brothers.
Speaker 8 (43:36):
On the show.
Speaker 7 (43:37):
Your mom has talked about the wait list for friendship.
You are on the list, but your brother Bridge is
always number one. Yes, now you are the CEO right
of her company and yes, ran her best just told
us you ran her best selling book campaign. You're building
(43:58):
an empire with her. What would it take to make
it to be number one?
Speaker 4 (44:04):
I will never beat the eldest son. There's no chance.
He can just sit there and look pretty and that's
all he.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Has to do.
Speaker 4 (44:11):
I mean, he's actually the most wonderful human being. And
I think we all cherish Bridge for his fearlessness and
all sorts of qualities that I wish I had in myself.
But he has been above me on this best friend
waiting list for years and I don't know what it
will take.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
I mean, Mom, what will it take?
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Tell me?
Speaker 3 (44:29):
I will do it.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
You cannot disclose the terms. This is ever. We review
it every year. It's under review. You getting there, You're
getting there? You you complain a lot that's not helping you.
Speaker 8 (44:45):
Is there a topic starter that comes up on the
podcast as the one argument that will never be settled?
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (44:51):
So many. My husband had a Wall Street job. He
was he was dying when he found out that I
was advising Zoe not to take a corporate job. I
thought he was gonna pass out from the stress because
he's like, what do you mean She's getting the best
jobs out of why would she not take those jobs?
(45:12):
And I take a very different position. I'm extremely entrepreneurial,
even through all my failures, I never once thought I
should go and work for somebody else. It's just never
made sense to me.
Speaker 5 (45:23):
Sarna, you said that you wrote your memoir This American
Woman for the women who feel stuck, for the stay
at home moms who feel like they don't know where
to turn, for the daughters who feel like where is
their road map in life?
Speaker 6 (45:38):
What do you want other women to.
Speaker 5 (45:40):
Know about starting over, particularly if they feel like they've
missed their window.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
I really did write the book for those women and
men A lot of men now have approached me and
said they also feel stuck. You can start over any time.
There's never been a better time to start because social media,
Internet has made it possible for even moms like I.
(46:05):
You know, I'm of the generations as the rest of
us are, except for ZOA and this group where it's
like remote work was not a thing. It was just
not like my first law job. I remember, if I
wasn't forced on the desk, I panicked, like every morning
you had to put the suit on and the high
heels and run to work and be the first in
(46:25):
the door and last out. That's all gone and for
the better. Today you can have a little baby and
you can start a business in the other room while
the baby is sleeping. It's extremely viable. This is not
just you know, ideas in the air anymore. This is
being done every day by people. I mean, if God
forbid someday my stand up comedy career was to be
(46:48):
affected in some way, I foresee myself running an entirely
digital business. It's very possible today. And I wrote this
book to give people hope. I mean, look at me,
there's nothing per about me. I have an accent. I
started at forty four forty five, I wear a bindi.
I wear my weird clothes everywhere I go. But I
(47:11):
found that little spot in the world that feels like
they're being seen through me, and then that became my business.
And I think that that is true for every single
one of us has something that we represent, that we
can do, we can be of service to, and we
can charge money for it. I mean, you know, the
cliche is it's never too late, but it really is not,
(47:32):
because if you win the day you die, you still won.
I mean, there's no endgame here, there's no flag you're
gonna cross, there's no finish line. The finish line is death,
but that can come whenever, you know. But things are
figure out able. That's the point. And like with the
rare exception, yes you although this one.
Speaker 3 (47:52):
You know.
Speaker 1 (47:52):
Now, with the airline industry in America, I was gonna
say flying an airplane not figure outable, But lately I've
had so many delays. I started youtubing how to fly
an airplane. I'm like, somebody has gotta figure this out,
Like I cannot keep getting bumped around like this. But
nine out of ten things are figure out aable and
It's like you can sit there and be consumed by
(48:15):
the overwhelming nature of being stuck, or say to yourself,
I'm gonna take that one tiny step, the smallest tiny step,
every day, and then those tiny steps, before you know
it will come pound like they will. They will lead
to the next thing and the next thing, and like
(48:36):
a whole future that might open up for you. And
my book is written, the entire book is written from
that perspective. I didn't have any desire to share my
life story otherwise, like I don't really I'm not running
for office or anything, right, Like what do I care
if anybody knows my story or not? But I wrote
it from the perspective of this is how I got
(48:58):
unstuck in all these various situations, and hopefully this helps
the people who read it.
Speaker 8 (49:06):
Or before we wrap it, just want to ask you
a final question, and it's very important. Yes, So, what
would happen, truly happen if your mother in law came
to visit.
Speaker 1 (49:16):
It would be so bad. It would be First of all,
if I had advanced warning, which now she tends not
to give me much, I would plan my own business trip. Yeah,
you know, twenty five years my husband. She would visit,
and he would be away on business a lot suspiciously
while she was in America with me. Now, I would
(49:39):
reverse it and be like, you know what, you have
fun with your mother. Let me plan some shows. Let
me go to Bismarck, North Dakota. I hadn't been there,
but I think if she came to visit, she's actually
a very very smart woman. If I put the jokes aside,
she's a very very smart. But she raised two boys
(50:00):
in poverty in India and grew them through education and
all of it to where they are today. I think
we have a great camaraderie, my mother in law and I.
Before I release my first comedy special, it has some
hard jokes about her. I did take her blessings. I
would never blindside anybody like that in my life. I
(50:21):
have too much love for everybody in my life to
do that. So I think in the end it would
be a good thing. I think the problems she would
have now would be with my kids, because she's very
openly biased towards my older son and these American kids,
they don't just take it like in India other kids
just take it. They're like, that's grandma hear the kids
(50:41):
fight back, you know, it's like why did you do that?
And what did you mean? And like I would leave
her to deal with it with them.
Speaker 8 (50:48):
Caz Aara Zoya. Thank you for this joyful, honest, and
deeply inspiring conversation during your journey, Prouse, that is never
too late to take a leap of faith, especially with
your own voice, and of course start again. And in
doing so, you're giving daughters of immigrant families all around
the world permission to speak more openly and to dream
(51:09):
more freely with their parents. Zoria, We've loved having you.
Your belief in your mom, seeing her not just as
a parent, but also as a person whose dreams are
worth fighting for, has been deeply inspirational to us. Together,
you've shown that legacy is built through courage, laughter, and
choosing to grow side by side. Thank you for living
your legacy.
Speaker 1 (51:29):
Thank you, and thank you so much for having us.
This is such a wonderful podcast. We love it and
we're so honored to be a part of it.
Speaker 6 (51:37):
Thank you so much, guys, Thank you, thank you for
joining us. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Don't forget to
subscribe so you never miss a moment.
My career was on a roll in twenty nineteen, and
then the world shut down, and you know, in America,
everybody was debating where did the virus come from? Was
it about, was it a lab? It came from my
mother in law's kitchen. This woman was gonna do whatever
it took to take me down.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Sarnagark has sold out stages around the world, racked up
billions of views, writ in the New York Times best
selling memoir, and launched two comedy specials on Prime Video
and Hulu. How by turning her life into one of
the funniest shows on the internet.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Oh no, there's a lot of fighting, but we saved
that for the TikTok. We don't fight unless we can
monetize it anymore.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
She'll unfollow me on Instagram.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
She'll message my brothers, I'm never talking to your sister again.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Please let her know that I feel that way.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
And she's brought along.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Her daughter, Zoya, the person who believed in her before
she believed in herself, pushing her to step on stage
at forty four.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
We were just trying to make a living. We were
in such financial dire straits when my husband lost his job.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
She did a open mic at the worst stand up
comedy club in the world, and there were two or
three people in the audience that had bought the five
dollars ticket, and the people in the audience were just dying.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
They were falling off their chairs.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Join host Martin for King. The third Andrea Waters, King,
Mark Kilberger and Craig Kilberger were a hilarious and heartfelt
conversation about starting again, defying expectations, and what becomes possible
when family believes in you.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
First you can sit there and be consumed by the
overwhelming nature of being stuffed Orseidio.
Speaker 5 (01:30):
Says, welcome to my legacy. Today's guest has lived what
most people would call an impossible dream, from surviving on
her own in Mumbai at just fourteen years old to
becoming one of the most original voices in comedy right now.
(01:51):
Zara Gard didn't just break through, She's become a cultural phenomenon.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
Zarna. In case you can't.
Speaker 5 (01:58):
Tell, we are thrilled to have you with us today,
and as always on this show, our extraordinary guests bring
along someone who has been meaningful in their journey.
Speaker 6 (02:08):
Zarna.
Speaker 5 (02:09):
Welcome and would you do us the honor of introducing
your plus one.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
First of all, thank you so much for having me.
What an honor to be in this company and in
this mix. I have brought with me my apprentice, my friend,
although she's on a waiting list for the friendship honestly,
but my daughter, my oldest child, my daughter, Zoya Gard,
(02:35):
who is a recent graduate of Stanford University in computer
science in case anybody was wondering.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
And classics if anyone was wondering, and classics, because she
managed to sneak that in there, and her presence is
important to me in this podcast because she was the
one who helped me get started in comedy.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
As you can imagine, not a single South Asian woman
on Earth is waking up thinking I hope I become
a comic. That's not a thing in our culture, like
having fun is not a thing in our culture. But
my all American kids saw it in me before I
saw it in me or anybody else did. And for
that reason, she's now part of my business. She just
(03:16):
graduated Stanford. She's running my business now and helping it
grow and enter a digital phase.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Thank you so much for having.
Speaker 7 (03:24):
Me, Thank you for being with us. We're honored to
have you and have this conversation.
Speaker 6 (03:30):
And congratulations on your recent graduation.
Speaker 7 (03:34):
On this show, we like to go all the way
back to where it kind of started. Someone asked you
about a moment that was both heartbreaking and life changing.
You were just fourteen years old when your mother tragically died.
Your father told you that you had two choices, get
married by arrangement or leave home. Can you take us
(03:58):
back to that moment and face seeing that choice?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
So this story is extremely is completely accurate, But the
truth is that I wasn't. I wasn't heartbroken then because
I thought he was kidding. I didn't believe that he
meant that. You know, he was also shocked from losing
his wife, my mother, So when he said all that,
(04:21):
I was like, oh, this is a moment, this is
gonna pass. Like there's no way he means this. So
it wasn't actually heartbreaking as much as it was like,
what am I supposed to do? Because we were both
grieving in our own ways. You know, I was shocked
that my mom. I didn't even know she was that
sick because they don't tell the kids anything back home.
(04:44):
They don't actually like, you know, how in America would
be like, who's going to talk to the kids. That's
not a thing in India. The kids are kind of
in the background. They just hear whatever's in the air.
So I didn't even know she was as sick as
she was. And then I heard one day that she's no.
So I had my own shock, and then he had
(05:04):
his own shocks. And I didn't leave my house like
wanting to take a big stand. But at fourteen fifteen,
if your parent tells you do this or else, you
immediately think, well, I don't have to be here. I
have so many friends I could be hanging out with.
And that's kind of how that moment erupted and grew
because I told him, no, I'm not getting married, and
(05:25):
he's like, if you don't get married, you can't live here.
I was a foe who wants to be here anyway?
I have so many friends And it kind of was
one of those moments that then never reverse course. As
time went by, I realized how serious he was, and
then the reality of my limited options started setting in
(05:45):
over time immediately after those days.
Speaker 8 (05:48):
Just on that note, because I understand, and after that
you spent a year homeless and then eventually agreed to
marry somebody that your father chose in that process. Just
before the wedding, your visit to the United States came through.
So take us back to that time and what was
your first few months in America?
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Like so, I it was almost two years actually a
year and a half plus of drifting of what in
America is called CouchSurfing. So it wasn't it wasn't homeless
in that traditional way that I was literally out on
the streets, but I was like trying to lob pieces
together with this person can take me in on Monday,
(06:24):
but if you can take me in on Thursday, then
I'm going to find like a bridge in between. You know.
My mom had a lot of goodwill with her friends,
so they there were a lot of people concerned for
my well being, but they were also very afraid of
my dad. My dad was a very powerful rich man
in that world, so they didn't want to they didn't
(06:46):
want to like take the daughter in permanently. But they
also couldn't just shut the door in my face. So
it was a lot of push and pull, and at
some point I gave up. I was like, I can't
you know, you wear the system wears you out, Like
at some point you exhausted, You're like, this is not happening.
So I did go back to my dad and I
was like, I actually remember saying you win. I didn't
(07:09):
know what else to say, so I was like, you
win whatever you want to do, you know, And he
didn't see it as a win. Just to be clear,
he was not a mean person. He was not a
horrible person. In his eyes. He was doing what was
right for his kid. Back where I come from, even today,
a lot of women get married in their teen years.
This is not an unusual thing. Certainly fourteen fifteen was
(07:33):
a little younger than the norm. But we were not
talking about a world where it's never been done. It's
been done all the time. So he was very very
much like, okay, now you've come to your senses. But
the day I met the guy that he had set
me up with, and he, I'm sure is a lovely
man today married to a woman my age, That's the
(07:54):
day I got a telegram saying my visa had been approved.
Speaker 7 (07:57):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Because I had been trying for so long and my
sister living in America was trying to help me and
trying to figure out, like how the paperwork works. You know,
it's like getting a proper visa to come to America
is not easy, especially from India. So much paperwork involved,
so much proof involved.
Speaker 8 (08:16):
Wow, when you were hearing and have come to understand
your mom's trials and tribulations, ups and downs, how did
that change your perspective and your relationship with her?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Well, she wouldn't tell me anything.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
When you're growing up in America, you are told to
ask questions, especially about your family's history and your family's background.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
And your mom is shaking her head for those of
our listeners who are listening, and your mom is shaking
her head as you're saying that, yeah, because you.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
Know, you want to know where you came from. But
when I would ask her questions, she would say, yes, no,
focus on your homework.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
You know, like why are you asking me these questions?
Speaker 4 (08:58):
And over time I became persistent enough that I would
get fragments. You know, I would say, oh, how did
you where were you born? You know, Oh I was
born in India. Okay, how did you get to America?
Oh it's a long story. But I lived with your aunt,
and you know, I would start to pick up the
puzzle pieces. And when I was growing up, I started
to realize, well done, these puzzle pieces look very different
(09:20):
than a lot of my peers. There's something different in
this story. And it became so obvious when I was
kind of a teenager and she was starting to start
her own businesses that something was very different about her
resilience and the way that she thought about building things.
It was just way more fearless than anything I'd ever
(09:41):
seen in my life.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
So to answer your question, I didn't know anything.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
And it took me probably fifteen years, and then after
the book came out, I finally got the whole story
with everyone else.
Speaker 6 (09:51):
Wow, And let me tell you something.
Speaker 5 (09:53):
As a mom, you're gonna keep discovering more and more
things you don't know our door like every other she's like, oh,
I didn't know that about you. I didn't knowh So
you think you know there's still more to uncover.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
And you can't tell these kids anything. Everything traumatizes that,
everything gives them anxiety. What am I going to tell her?
What am I gonna tell her?
Speaker 2 (10:14):
That?
Speaker 4 (10:14):
Like?
Speaker 1 (10:14):
It was you know, my son, her little one was like,
how do I not know any of this? Because he
read the book? His classmates were reading the book, And
I was like, don't read the book because it was
not easy. But if I tell you that, like, that's
ten thousand dollars of therapy, I'll have to pay.
Speaker 6 (10:32):
I have to ask this question.
Speaker 5 (10:34):
You were twenty two years old when you posted a
personal ad. Some of our listeners may not know what
that is. But that's like before the dating apps, and
in the ad. I'm going to read exactly what you
wrote because I think it's.
Speaker 6 (10:49):
Great to some.
Speaker 5 (10:51):
I am too short or too plump, too dark, or
too argumentative, But enough about me. This is what I
need from you. Kindly include your most recent tax returns
and medical records. Now, your future husband responded, is this
ridiculous ad?
Speaker 8 (11:09):
For real?
Speaker 5 (11:10):
And that was over twenty five years ago and you
all are still together. What's the biggest mistake you see
young people making when they're looking for a partner.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
There's this idea that you can cast a wide net,
meet everybody, and then the right one will show up.
I actually believe the opposite. I think cast a very
narrow net. Look for exactly what you want, or you
think you want, at least, because there's just no point
lying about what might or might not work. You know,
(11:43):
the things that you were gravitating towards that makes sense
in your world. And also, time is so limited. I
remember I was like graduating law school. I didn't feel
like at that time, I thought, oh my god, my
time is up because the world I came from twenty
two was being a spring. It was too late. So
I think the big mistake people make is trying to
(12:05):
be everything to everybody. You have to be something to somebody,
one person, and that's it. Now I can read the
things I needed from him, because I think it was
very specific and I and I stuck to it, and
I actually think it helped me. I mean, is it different.
Speaker 8 (12:21):
Did you get the tax of turns of medical records?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Pey yet?
Speaker 3 (12:24):
No?
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Well he fought it, honestly. He was not happy about
it because he came from a modern America, and I
was like, oh, whatever, you own your modern America. This
is what I need from you. A husband and a partner,
somebody who's ambitious but not ruthless, confident but not arrogant,
and humble but not timid. Most of all, he is honest.
(12:47):
Twenty seven years later, too honest. But that's a different problem.
Speaker 6 (12:50):
I understand that.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
I am on a mission to build a very successful life,
and you must be ready to go with me. Only
contact me if you want to get get married. No,
friends now include your tax returns in medical records. So
that's the other thing. A lot of people in the
dating world will be like, we should be friends, Like, no,
there's not an app for friendship, Like, you know, if
(13:15):
some guy doesn't want to get married, like, why are
we and you want to, let's say that's what you
want for yourself. Why would you waste time? You know
what I mean? So I personally think people should be
very specific about what they want and believe and have
faith that that's out there. Yeah, and not be scared
about it.
Speaker 6 (13:34):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
I don't know if the listeners can tell, but she
was glaring at me really intently as she was giving
this entire speech because she thinks that she should have
a pretty large say and who I date.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
And especially who I marry.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
I should basically have no criteria on my own and
should adopt hers as my only criteria. So we go
back and forth on this a lot, because I actually
think you learn a lot about yourself by dating people,
and I don't think it needs to be so black
and white, and you need to find your partner to
be married to.
Speaker 6 (14:06):
Immediately, your mom is shaking her head.
Speaker 8 (14:11):
I have I have two daughters, and I have to
be to agree with your mom in this one.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Thank you, Mark, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
How old are your daughters?
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Mark?
Speaker 8 (14:19):
Oh? Sorry, thanks for asking. I've got fourteen going on
twenty eighth. My goodness, I've got eleven. That's the fact.
Oh boy, yesterday, yesterday we had this lovely conversation about
alcohol and whether it's appropriate at the age of eighteen
to drink alcohol as a quote unquote rite of passage.
(14:41):
So Zarna, what do you think about that one? If
I could get your advice on it.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Two of my kids are adults and they have both yogis,
and it's actually annoying. I used to think, don't drink alcohol.
Now I'm like, drink a little because this generation has
taken a whole another extreme position where it's like you
could never touch this, you can never touch that. So
if they catch me drinking, I get reprimanded. What I
(15:08):
think you'll see Mark, and you guys when your kids
go to college, there is a real non alcohol movement
that's very real. Like you know, our generation grew up,
we couldn't wait, that's just not the case that I
find with these kids.
Speaker 7 (15:23):
So you're watching your mom and dad's relationship. One of
the biggest lessons you've learned about what makes a marriage
work that you want to carry into your relationships.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Don't talk to each other.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
They are so intensely loyal to one another, and yet
I've never seen them hold hands. I've never seen them kiss,
I've never seen them go on a romantic candlelight dinner.
I have seen them do what I actually think are
the important things, which are figure out how to build
a life together. Intensely loyal to one another. You know,
(16:02):
my on a sincere note my and we talk about
this on our family podcast too. It's a very open discussion.
But during COVID, my dad lost his very you know,
comfortable finance job, and his identity was very tied to
his ambition and to his success in this job. And
at this point, my mom's career had just started to
(16:22):
take off, but was nowhere close to where.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
It is now.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
And I think a lot of people would have taken
my dad's you know, he really had to redefine what
success looked like for him and come out from under,
you know, seeing his entire self worth tied to this job,
and for years my mom and him like, no matter
how hard it got figured out, like, how are we
(16:49):
gonna do this?
Speaker 3 (16:49):
How are we gonna build a life for each for.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
Coming out of this, like he launched his own podcast,
he launched his own business. Coming out of this, my
dad turned into a social media personality. I don't think,
like I want to explain how phenomenally interesting that is.
It's so so normal for American people to take creative
ambition because we've normalized it, and that's a good thing.
But for my dad, who went to it, which is
(17:13):
the most renowned science and math college in the world,
to go from like a chemical engineer to a finance
professional to now a podcast host who is helping people
learn about money, like the heroic trajectory of that.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
No one in his community had ever seen that.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
And that was entirely because of my mom's support and
just loyalty and in designing together.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
But they've never done any.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
Of the They never did any of the fluffy stuff,
you know, like there was none of the like you
know in dating culture.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Now it's like, did he comment on my Instagram?
Speaker 6 (17:52):
Oh my god, your mom is rolling her ass.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
He's blocked on my page. He's blocked on my page.
I don't want him to comment. Please, I don't want
to hear whatever he's thinking. No way, if we don't
even follow, this is true. Your producers can check this.
He unfollowed me, Emmy, Wow, what was his reasoning? He's like,
(18:17):
you post too much stuff about all this other stuff.
I can't it's too much activity on my page. And
he just unfollowed me.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
He only follows Bloomberg.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
He follows all these finance people.
Speaker 8 (18:30):
That's so funny. Zoya, Obviously you've not only adore your mom,
but you've had a huge impact on her career. So,
if I'm not mistaken, at the age of sixteen, you,
at her birthday gave her one hundred and forty six
handwritten notes, nonetheless handwritten notes, encouraging her from her friendship
group to become a comedian. So what did you see
(18:51):
in her that nobody else had articulated clearly until you
by those handwritten notes.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
I saw her funniness, her storytelling skills as something that
could make us money. You know, she was really a
personality from the moment I was born.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
My friends would.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
Always want to come to my house because we obviously
had the best food, of course obviously, but on top
of that, they wanted to get advice from Auntie Zarna.
They wanted to hear what she had to say on
every topic, on who has a crush on who, what
the mean teacher is saying. You know, she just had
this magnetism that was so obvious that, especially when I
(19:31):
was sixteen. She had started several businesses at this point,
Tomato sauce company, matchmaking, business, tutoring, and these businesses were
not working because the products weren't the right fit. But
what I would notice in all of these businesses that
she started was people would buy whatever she was selling
(19:52):
just because they wanted an extra minute with her. And
it was just such a nascent idea. And for her
birthday when I was sixteen. At this point, I had
said why don't you try stand up comedy several times,
which she would always reply, that's not a job, right
You can't get paid to make people laugh.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
And I was like, we're in America, that's actually like
the coolest job in the world.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
I had reached out to several of her friends and
family members, but I didn't lead the question. I just said, Hey,
I'm assembling a gift for mom. Just write anything and
I'll transcribe it. But I knew that everyone was going
to comment on her personality, her warmth, and the ability
that she had to make people feel good about themselves
(20:35):
and feel good about the world we were heading into.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
And that's exactly what happened.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
When she started picking out the notes, it was like,
one by one by one, every single message was like,
you are the funniest person that I know. And then
very shortly after, she did a open mic at the
worst stand up comedy club in the world. It won't
be named, because I don't even think there is a name,
and there were two or three people in the audience
that had bought the five dollars ticket, and she was
(21:02):
just ranting I remember about me and her mother in
law and math and how we all need to be
doing more math. And the people in the audience were
just dying. They were falling off their chairs, and I
remember the club manager said, how long has she been
doing this to me?
Speaker 3 (21:18):
And I was like, whoa, we have a business here.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
And then it just kept and then you know everything
else from that point onwards, I want to be really
truthful a lot of people credit me and my brothers,
but to have taken that Nason idea and turned it
into the empire that she has that was entirely from
her and her adaptability and resilience. I mean, I think
she's actually a visionary. It's so hard for me to
have an opinion now because I think she's so brilliant
(21:43):
that I'm like, why should I have an opinion, Like
she should just tell me what did do?
Speaker 1 (21:48):
And that's why mom controls the dating decisions, because mom
can tell you what to do exactly.
Speaker 5 (21:54):
But it seems like Zoia the daughter controls the professional.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
No, she does. She's running my whole company now.
Speaker 5 (22:03):
And think about that though, like literally, like from you know,
our age, like we were raised like we give the
children the advice. Yeah, so the fact that in this
instance your children really really were the impetus to really
give you the professional advice.
Speaker 6 (22:20):
And we see how the story has ended.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Well it's ongoing. I mean, the story about her notes.
I just want to say, this is the reason she
didn't get a perfect score on the SAT. She was
too busy writing. She lost ten points. I was so
angry when I found out she was wasting time on
these notes, but the story is still ongoing. It is
unfolding because she's leading us into a digital world. That's
(22:45):
why she's living in San Francisco, because you know, you
have to adapt even to that. I'm a stand up
comic and you guys are podcasting. It's like, but we
don't know what next year is going to look like,
what the next iteration of this business is gonna look
So she's stasked with taking our company into the next generation.
And that's what she's doing out there.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
And one note I want to make on adaptability because
I actually think this story is super important and we
don't talk about it enough. So early on in her career,
when she was doing open mics, she started to actually
gain some traction at the clubs.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
This was pre pandemic.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
But then as soon as she got her biggest headlining gig,
which was at Caroline's on Broadway, the club's closed because
the pandemic happened and comedians had no idea what to do.
I mean, this was their life's work to perform in clubs,
especially at her stage. We had had all these recordings
of her jokes and my brother Bridge, who was you know,
(23:43):
he was fourteen at the time, and at this point
he was addicted to TikTok. He was like, I think
we should cut these jokes up and upload them on TikTok.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
And this point in time that was foreign because for
comedians the.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
Idea was to save all your material so that you
could sell tickets to your show.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Comedians would never post their stand up online.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
Why would you do that. You're giving away the goods
for free. And my brother was insistent. He was like,
if we are the first.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
Ones to put comedy online, mom might.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Skyrocket and people might just see her as like the
funniest comedian ever. And so he uploaded her first ever
I've never said I Love you to my husband joke
on TikTok. This was two weeks into the pandemic, and
I remember he uploaded it and it was like one
hundred thousand views, two hundred thousand views, a million views,
ten million views, and we kept seeing the number refresh and.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
We were like, is this the lottery? Did we just
win something? Like what's going on? Is this a scam?
Speaker 4 (24:43):
And it wasn't a scam, Like the joke was being
shared by millions of people around the world, and she
is the she was the one who started that movement.
Now every comedian posts their jokes online, but if she
had not adapted in that moment, that was one of
the critical moments in the business.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
I don't even know if I would have a job
right now if that hadn't worked out and she hadn't
made that leap of faith.
Speaker 6 (25:04):
And that came from your brother, Yeah, but.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
It came from my brother and her also being so
fearless and seeing like, if we don't roll the dice,
we will not move forward. We can't do the same
thing as everyone else because we're too late into this game,
and that's not gonna work for us.
Speaker 8 (25:21):
I think we're all dying. Why have you never told
your husband?
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Why you Well, I would never do that. It's only
been twenty seven years. There's no rush, no no oh.
So it's just not something we do. It's just not
I can't even you know. I was on a TV show,
like a news show, and they're like, do you want
to see it? Do you want to say it? I
was like, no, I have no desire. We're good, We're
(25:45):
really good. If she said it to me, they offered
to call him so I could say it. I said,
if I called him and said it now over the phone.
He's gonna think I'm in a car accident and I'm
about to pass. That's not chock it please you.
Speaker 6 (26:00):
You're just saving it for a really good time.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
Like she said, I love you to an Amazon customer
service rap. By the way, that's the only person he
found a missing package like you.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
If you order a lot, you know that's what's.
Speaker 7 (26:17):
Your mom has talked about the wait list for Friendship.
You're on the list, but your brother Bridge is always
number one.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
You complain a lot. That's not helping you.
Speaker 5 (26:32):
But Zara, when you started comedy listen, there were no
female Indian comedians doing what you're doing. Yeah, and then
you also wear bendi on stage. You joke about mother
in law's arranged marriages, all the things that Indian women
typically don't.
Speaker 6 (26:47):
Discuss in public.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
What was the initial reaction from the Indian community And
I'm very curious and also did that change over time?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
My community has been most supportive since day one, but
they didn't know what it was. We are not a
people who go to clubs for fun, to drink, to
hang out. That's not our world. It's not a word.
We are comfortable and I had never stepped foot in
a comedy club until the day I did the open mic.
I didn't know what this thing was where people just
(27:16):
sit around and tell jokes and pay money for it.
But also, remember when I tried comedy, I had already
failed at so many things. My community was fed up
of announcements from me. The match making was such a
big I made this big grand I'm a matchmakers, and
all your kids to me. And then it was the
(27:36):
most traumatic experience for my community because I was telling
everybody it was too late. They needed to lose weight.
This guy is never gonna find anybody. Oh my god.
By the time I got to comedy, people were like,
whatever she wants to do, it's great, you have our blessings,
go do it. It started making sense when actually it
was not the Indian community, but it was all the
(27:58):
other Americans started coming out and being like, oh my god,
this is so funny because making mother in law jokes
is not a new thing. It has existed in culture,
just not in our culture. So we had a lot
of non Indians who would come out and be like,
oh my god, Like I'm telling you, the black community
often tells me that they have an auntie just like
(28:19):
me who's got a big mouth.
Speaker 6 (28:21):
Absolutely right.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
So it's like this was not new to a lot
of community. The Jewish community is always telling me that, like,
I sound like a Jewish mom. So it kind of
started turning. And then more and more Indians started coming
out with the idea that, oh, we're just gonna like
sit and have fun on a Saturday night. Like I've
(28:44):
joked about this with Tina and Amy. I opened for
Tina Fae and Amy Polar for two years and I
told him, I said, Indians don't watch Saturday Night Live
because we think Saturday night is for that extra Sat class.
We would never waste a Saturday night on like having fun.
But now more and more they come out, and they
(29:06):
come out in families. They bring their own mother in law.
Oh my god, so many people bring their mother in
law to my show because they're like give her a message,
Like they want to pay me extra to deliver messages
to their Like they'll they bring their kids and be
like tell him not to do history.
Speaker 8 (29:22):
You know, what do we need to know about mother
in laws? This is really important? Oh my god, what
just just give us a quick schooling.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
Mother and I'm telling you my career was on a
roll in twenty nineteen. I had just sold out Carolines
on Broadway, which was a big deal, and then the
world shut down, and you know, in America, everybody was
debating where did the virus come from? Was it a bat,
was it a lab? It came from my mother in
law's kitchen. This woman was gonna do whatever it took
(29:53):
to take me down. And that is that is what
a mother in law is. Right now, Wow, she's actively.
I have more than thirteen thousand amazing reviews for my book.
The handful of one star reviews have all come from
the same region in India as suspiciously close to where
(30:15):
she lives. Is it a coincidence?
Speaker 6 (30:18):
I cannot wait until your mother in law.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Oh I'm gonna be horrible. The level I'm gonna be horrible.
I can already see it because everybody my kids bring
home is no good.
Speaker 5 (30:31):
No, no, no, it's good. Now you said that you
open for Tina Fey and Amy Poehler on their tour. Now,
these are two of the most successful iconic women in comedy.
Getting to watch them perform night after night and seeing
how they work up close and personal what's the one
thing that you took away that stayed with you.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
You can mix business and pleasure. I grew up in
a generation that said, don't mix business and pleasure, because
the men went to work, the women stay home. That's
the way I grew up. That's what I grew up seeing.
Then now I saw these two women best friends who
built individually huge empires themselves. But a big reason they've
(31:11):
been able to build it is because they have each
other even to lean on through the tough times, sometimes
to make that extra call for the other person. I
really learned the in fact, they inspired me to have
the courage to say to my daughter, turned down every
big tech job and come work with me. I don't
know if I had not seen them up close, if
(31:33):
I would have had the courage to make that big
move for my daughter. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 6 (31:38):
Yeah, the power of women in community too.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
And I think women and friends building together is a
very real thing. And I mean I saw them hang
out with all their SNL friends, you know, backstage, and
they're all individually building their own things. But I think
that they are so successful in part because they have
each other yea, And that is the opposite of what
I believe most of my life growing up.
Speaker 5 (32:02):
Yeah, women we build webs and men build ladders, so
we act write webs and connections and so yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Exactly, And I really saw it, and then it changed
how I decided to build my business.
Speaker 8 (32:17):
Yeah, speaking about your business, Zoya, obviously you've helped to
build your mom's business. What's been the hardest part about
being both her of course the daughter of your mother
and her business partner.
Speaker 4 (32:30):
We could really use an HR department, No, I think
actually the hardest part for me has been learning how
to define my own narrative because so many people see
what I'm doing with my mom.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
As the most unusual thing.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
They can't even wrap their heads around the fact that
I love working with my mom so much and I
learned so much from her every day that it is
the best possible thing for me right now. I think
I have had the experience where I've gotten minimized to oh,
she's a NEPO baby, and it's like, whoa, we didn't
even have anything until a few years ago. Yeah, And
(33:10):
so to be honest, that was that's been a real
challenge for me, is like staying the course and knowing
that what we're building together is so important and focusing
especially on exactly the community she's talking about at our shows.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
For six months after I graduated Stanford.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
I went on tour and I was at every tour
stop learning about who is enjoying our products, like who
is bought into our world. And the most fascinating thing
I learned is so many people who came to that
show were it was their first ever comedy show. And
to think that this art form is being introduced to
so many people for the very first time that has
(33:48):
like historically, not to be a classicist about it, like
that is how people have like overcome really really hard
moments is through laughter together. And then the second I
did study computer science, so I get traditional technology software
options that looked really sexy at the time to be honest,
like really great paychecks in San Francisco, build the future right,
(34:09):
like it's just really cool. But it was November and
my mom's memoir, she had just finished writing her memoir.
In order to have a book land successfully, there's a
very long pre order process that leads up to that
book's publication, and that pre order, if it's handled correctly,
is what determines.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
The success of the book. Based on the pre orders,
bookstores will stop the book.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
They will, you know, put it on all sorts of
really amazing lists that helped us sell the book in perpetuity.
My mom was looking to hire somebody for this job,
and she said, I think you should take this job,
and I think you should try working with me.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
And I was like, what, you want me to sell
a pre order? What's that?
Speaker 4 (34:49):
I didn't even know what a pre order was, Like,
what is the concept of a pre order of a book?
You're gonna sell something that doesn't even exist yet.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
That's wild, right, And she was like, no, I think
you should take this job and learn how to sell.
Speaker 4 (35:01):
That's a skill that will be part of your life
for the rest of your life. And so my senior
year of Stanford I set a goal to sell ten
thousand pre orders of her book. I flew all across
the country doing pop ups in every city. I think
we did four or five live streams every single week.
We collaborated and designed all sorts of viral moments with
famous comedians. We used every AI tool in the book.
(35:24):
There have been several write ups about that and how
we designed that process and instantly when the book came
out in April. It made every single bestseller list instantly,
and now authors around the world reach out to me
and they're like, so, how.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
Did you do it for your mom?
Speaker 4 (35:39):
And the reason I'm mentioning that is, especially with family businesses,
it was incredibly important to see if we actually could
work together. Wasn't like I just decided to take the job,
like I actually had to really earn the job. And
there were moments during that pre order process that I
was not doing a good job and I wasn't selling
the books, and she was like, I'm going to give
this job to someone else if you can't figure it out.
(36:01):
So it wasn't you know, it was a build up process.
Speaker 7 (36:04):
Wow, amazing, amazing, as Erna, you've said that everywhere you go,
daughters from immigrant families reach out to Zoya and tell her.
Because of what your mom said on stage, I was
able to have a conversation with my parents that I
couldn't have before. So I want to ask you both,
(36:26):
what has been the most meaningful message you've received.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
I mean, I know that when I do private events,
and I do very few now, but I do do
them weddings and things, often there are elderly Indian people
lined up to meet me, and sometimes they start crying
and they you know, they'll tell me. They'll be like,
you know, we've lived in America sixty seventy years and
(36:52):
we've laughed at jokes we don't understand for sixty seventy years,
and you know, for the first time, we laughing at
something that feels like our story. And it really changed
how I saw myself in the business. So, you know,
for my people, it's been a big thing. For our people,
like Indian people, we don't talk to our kids in
(37:14):
that way. Like here in America, there is a lot
of like how will what do the kids think? And
how you know, how are you going to take care
of them? In India, they just grow. They kind of
just background plants. They parted and they grow. Nobody ever
thinks about it. We have a family podcast and the
first topic we choose chose was what do you know
about sex? And we five of us talked about it
(37:38):
and I was like, it's we had never done, you know.
I started the podcast on a whim. I just took
I just booked a studio in New York and I said,
let's just go and see what happens. My husband was shocked,
like if you watched that first episode, He's like, I
thought we're going to talk about like the valley or
New Year or Christmas or something. What is this topic?
(37:58):
And I was saying, no, let's just find out what
the kids know. We don't even know what our own
kids know. And the fact that people are opening up
these discussions. I mean, I worked in a gay rom
com two years ago. I'm the mother in that movie.
It's an Indian, it's an American production. That movie has
helped countless Indian gay kids come out of the closet.
(38:23):
The fact that these things are all happening because of
the work that we are doing. We were just trying
to make a living. I'm being honest. We were not
trying to launch a movement or anything. We were in
such financial dire straits when my husband lost his job.
You know, we thought we had savings, but when you
don't have income, the savings go so fast you don't
(38:46):
realize it. It just it bleeds like Niagara falls. I
remember waking up and like our four oh one k
was down. Everything felt like our real estate market crashed
around us. We couldn't even move all we would trying
to do is make an honest living with integrity. But
we kind of entered the space and now we're in
(39:07):
a place where all we want to do is serve
our audience because it has been so underserved. Like as
soon as Zoya came on board, I said, Zoya, what's
a digital thing you can create to serve our audience.
And we realized that our audience loves word games. They
even in their free time, want to do spelling beats.
(39:27):
So we launched a word game right away.
Speaker 4 (39:30):
And it got like ten thousand plays and like one night,
I remember we launched it and it was like everyone
was competing to get the egg grade on the Zornaguarde
word game. And it was people were writing in messages
like because some of the letters could spell a different
word and they had missed a few seconds that they
could have gotten if that word had been accepted. I
was getting angry messages from wives of husbands who hadn't
(39:53):
gotten their correct ranking, and I was like, Wow, our
community is the best. I mean, this is a little
bit of a hetache, it's a little bit of a heartache,
but I I think all of you will appreciate it.
I think that we're too soft on American kids.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Now, I think we are.
Speaker 4 (40:05):
I think that's one of the things that's really not
a good thing about I don't know why it's the case.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
My mom has always.
Speaker 4 (40:12):
Been extremely hard on me, and I'm so grateful that
she set such a high standard. Like can you imagine
this woman in my senior year of college is like
sell ten thousand pre orders?
Speaker 3 (40:21):
Like that is an absurd people, all these parents are like,
how could you just expect your kid to do that
for you?
Speaker 1 (40:26):
But it was so obvious.
Speaker 4 (40:28):
I was like, oh yeah, totally, Like we're gonna do
that now, okay, Like that makes sense.
Speaker 7 (40:32):
We're building something real here, one episode at a time.
If you want to be part of its, subscribe, it's free,
it matters, and we're just getting started.
Speaker 8 (40:42):
Well, So I love the fact that you and your
mom have such a loving and very close relationship.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
They also there's a lot of fighting, Like there's a
lot of oh my god, but we save that for
the tick dok. We we save it. You know, we
don't fight unless we can monetize it anymore.
Speaker 5 (40:57):
No, So like no, but like behind the scenes, if
you're getting ready to have a heated discussion is it
like a part of you is like, wait a minute,
let's save it. Let's save it for the let's save it.
This is really good.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
No, No, every part of me. It's not a small part.
It's a big part. It's like, put turn that camera
on right now.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
I am the mature one in our fights.
Speaker 4 (41:19):
Though, She'll she'll unshare her find my location with me,
she'll unfollow me on Instagram, she'll message my brothers.
Speaker 3 (41:28):
By the way, I'm never.
Speaker 4 (41:29):
Talking to your sister again. Please like let her know
that I feel that way wild, this type of fighting
style as wild.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
And I tell them I'm like, choose a side and
publicly announced wich side you're on.
Speaker 4 (41:42):
Publicly tell people on Instagram whose side you're on?
Speaker 8 (41:46):
Was It wasn't it until you went to Stanford, three
thousand miles away from your mom that you realize that
not every child has the same relationship with their mother
as you do with your mother. Of course, in that case,
obviously a lot of kids were made decisions without consulting
their mother first. So what's some of the best advice
that your mom's given you.
Speaker 4 (42:07):
The best piece of advice my mom gave me was
to start working full time as quickly as possible and
treat college as almost this social club opportunity.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
You know, Like I this is also a bit of
a hot take. But I you know, in my senior year,
when I was running.
Speaker 4 (42:21):
This pre order process, I got really bad grades. My
teachers loved me because I loved school so much. Like
I would always be like, can I submit my essay
four weeks in advance? Or can I take the exam
on this day? And I was constantly missing class because
I was, you know, flying all over the world. But
she she was like, I think that you'll learn more
by working full time, and you should treat college as
(42:42):
an opportunity to like meet amazing people and to create
great relationships with your professors and nurture your education. But
you're not here to get like perfect grades. You're here
to like complete your degree and find out how to
like graduate and start being useful in the workforce.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
You know, learning how to be useful now is really hard.
Speaker 4 (43:04):
It used to be that you could be useful by
just like you know, getting a law degree, and then
you'd be useful in law or like becoming a doctor.
Then you'd be useful there. But like, now, how do
you even be useful and productive. This is like a
big top of mine question, and so she was like,
you need to figure this out as soon as possible.
So I'm glad she pushed me to work full time
sooner rather than later.
Speaker 7 (43:26):
Well, Zoia, I want to talk about the family podcast
that you both referenced with your mom, your dad, your
two brothers.
Speaker 8 (43:36):
On the show.
Speaker 7 (43:37):
Your mom has talked about the wait list for friendship.
You are on the list, but your brother Bridge is
always number one. Yes, now you are the CEO right
of her company and yes, ran her best just told
us you ran her best selling book campaign. You're building
(43:58):
an empire with her. What would it take to make
it to be number one?
Speaker 4 (44:04):
I will never beat the eldest son. There's no chance.
He can just sit there and look pretty and that's
all he.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Has to do.
Speaker 4 (44:11):
I mean, he's actually the most wonderful human being. And
I think we all cherish Bridge for his fearlessness and
all sorts of qualities that I wish I had in myself.
But he has been above me on this best friend
waiting list for years and I don't know what it
will take.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
I mean, Mom, what will it take?
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Tell me?
Speaker 3 (44:29):
I will do it.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
You cannot disclose the terms. This is ever. We review
it every year. It's under review. You getting there, You're
getting there? You you complain a lot that's not helping you.
Speaker 8 (44:45):
Is there a topic starter that comes up on the
podcast as the one argument that will never be settled?
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (44:51):
So many. My husband had a Wall Street job. He
was he was dying when he found out that I
was advising Zoe not to take a corporate job. I
thought he was gonna pass out from the stress because
he's like, what do you mean She's getting the best
jobs out of why would she not take those jobs?
(45:12):
And I take a very different position. I'm extremely entrepreneurial,
even through all my failures, I never once thought I
should go and work for somebody else. It's just never
made sense to me.
Speaker 5 (45:23):
Sarna, you said that you wrote your memoir This American
Woman for the women who feel stuck, for the stay
at home moms who feel like they don't know where
to turn, for the daughters who feel like where is
their road map in life?
Speaker 6 (45:38):
What do you want other women to.
Speaker 5 (45:40):
Know about starting over, particularly if they feel like they've
missed their window.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
I really did write the book for those women and
men A lot of men now have approached me and
said they also feel stuck. You can start over any time.
There's never been a better time to start because social media,
Internet has made it possible for even moms like I.
(46:05):
You know, I'm of the generations as the rest of
us are, except for ZOA and this group where it's
like remote work was not a thing. It was just
not like my first law job. I remember, if I
wasn't forced on the desk, I panicked, like every morning
you had to put the suit on and the high
heels and run to work and be the first in
(46:25):
the door and last out. That's all gone and for
the better. Today you can have a little baby and
you can start a business in the other room while
the baby is sleeping. It's extremely viable. This is not
just you know, ideas in the air anymore. This is
being done every day by people. I mean, if God
forbid someday my stand up comedy career was to be
(46:48):
affected in some way, I foresee myself running an entirely
digital business. It's very possible today. And I wrote this
book to give people hope. I mean, look at me,
there's nothing per about me. I have an accent. I
started at forty four forty five, I wear a bindi.
I wear my weird clothes everywhere I go. But I
(47:11):
found that little spot in the world that feels like
they're being seen through me, and then that became my business.
And I think that that is true for every single
one of us has something that we represent, that we
can do, we can be of service to, and we
can charge money for it. I mean, you know, the
cliche is it's never too late, but it really is not,
(47:32):
because if you win the day you die, you still won.
I mean, there's no endgame here, there's no flag you're
gonna cross, there's no finish line. The finish line is death,
but that can come whenever, you know. But things are
figure out able. That's the point. And like with the
rare exception, yes you although this one.
Speaker 3 (47:52):
You know.
Speaker 1 (47:52):
Now, with the airline industry in America, I was gonna
say flying an airplane not figure outable, But lately I've
had so many delays. I started youtubing how to fly
an airplane. I'm like, somebody has gotta figure this out,
Like I cannot keep getting bumped around like this. But
nine out of ten things are figure out aable and
It's like you can sit there and be consumed by
(48:15):
the overwhelming nature of being stuck, or say to yourself,
I'm gonna take that one tiny step, the smallest tiny step,
every day, and then those tiny steps, before you know
it will come pound like they will. They will lead
to the next thing and the next thing, and like
(48:36):
a whole future that might open up for you. And
my book is written, the entire book is written from
that perspective. I didn't have any desire to share my
life story otherwise, like I don't really I'm not running
for office or anything, right, Like what do I care
if anybody knows my story or not? But I wrote
it from the perspective of this is how I got
(48:58):
unstuck in all these various situations, and hopefully this helps
the people who read it.
Speaker 8 (49:06):
Or before we wrap it, just want to ask you
a final question, and it's very important. Yes, So, what
would happen, truly happen if your mother in law came
to visit.
Speaker 1 (49:16):
It would be so bad. It would be First of all,
if I had advanced warning, which now she tends not
to give me much, I would plan my own business trip. Yeah,
you know, twenty five years my husband. She would visit,
and he would be away on business a lot suspiciously
while she was in America with me. Now, I would
(49:39):
reverse it and be like, you know what, you have
fun with your mother. Let me plan some shows. Let
me go to Bismarck, North Dakota. I hadn't been there,
but I think if she came to visit, she's actually
a very very smart woman. If I put the jokes aside,
she's a very very smart. But she raised two boys
(50:00):
in poverty in India and grew them through education and
all of it to where they are today. I think
we have a great camaraderie, my mother in law and I.
Before I release my first comedy special, it has some
hard jokes about her. I did take her blessings. I
would never blindside anybody like that in my life. I
(50:21):
have too much love for everybody in my life to
do that. So I think in the end it would
be a good thing. I think the problems she would
have now would be with my kids, because she's very
openly biased towards my older son and these American kids,
they don't just take it like in India other kids
just take it. They're like, that's grandma hear the kids
(50:41):
fight back, you know, it's like why did you do that?
And what did you mean? And like I would leave
her to deal with it with them.
Speaker 8 (50:48):
Caz Aara Zoya. Thank you for this joyful, honest, and
deeply inspiring conversation during your journey, Prouse, that is never
too late to take a leap of faith, especially with
your own voice, and of course start again. And in
doing so, you're giving daughters of immigrant families all around
the world permission to speak more openly and to dream
(51:09):
more freely with their parents. Zoria, We've loved having you.
Your belief in your mom, seeing her not just as
a parent, but also as a person whose dreams are
worth fighting for, has been deeply inspirational to us. Together,
you've shown that legacy is built through courage, laughter, and
choosing to grow side by side. Thank you for living
your legacy.
Speaker 1 (51:29):
Thank you, and thank you so much for having us.
This is such a wonderful podcast. We love it and
we're so honored to be a part of it.
Speaker 6 (51:37):
Thank you so much, guys, Thank you, thank you for
joining us. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Don't forget to
subscribe so you never miss a moment.
Hosts And Creators
Craig Kielburger
Marc Kielburger
Martin Luther King III
Arndrea Waters King
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