I gave my cat back to the SHELTER... now everyone’s upset with me! -r/okstorytime | Reddit Stories | EP2658 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Riley and this is Keon, your favorite
Okay Storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming up.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
But before we get to that, we have a quick
two minute break from the sponsors that keep the show alive.
I gave my cat back to the shelter. Now everyone's
upset with me.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
I just couldn't provide it with a good home, sue me.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
I twenty one female, and my fiance twenty nine male,
have been together for two years. In that time, I
have expressed the desire to have a kitten, but not
until I have a more stable lifestyle. By the way,
this comes from user emotional main twenty five three, direct
from the r slash Okay Storytime subreddit what and if

(00:41):
you want to submit your own stories, go there and
submit them. I'm Dakota, I'm Angie, and we're here to
give good advice goofy, but we don't have all the answers.
We only know what we'd do, So tell us what
you would do in the comments. Silly goose and Op says. Currently,
I have a full time job that keep keeps me
out of the house for nearly twelve hours a day

(01:02):
at the minimum. Due to my commute time, and I
also like to go out to bars and have drinks
in my off time, which my fiance knows and supports.
He knows how stressful my job is and how I
need some time to unwind. We've lived together for three
months now, and he is fully aware that I am
rarely at home for a full day. He also isn't
at home for a full day most of the time

(01:24):
as well. He works a lot, just like I do,
and sometimes even goes in on his off days to
make sure everything is running smoothly. I told him when
we first moved in together that I wouldn't want a
kitten until I've calmed down a bit, until I stop
going out for drinks and maybe find a good job
closer to home. He indicated that he understood, and I
thought that meant he did so. Imagine my surprise when

(01:47):
on Christmas Day, a holiday which I told him I
don't celebrate due to personal beliefs, I woke up to
find a kitten in our bathroom.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
Oh gosh, oh gosh, I mean, Zizza be so cute.
I mean, it's.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
Probably really cute, but like, oh oh, it's so cute.
The kitten was adorable. It was a girl with a
pink collar, and he told me that the shelter had
named her Belinda, but I could rename her whatever i'd like.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
I told him that I thought he understood that I'd
like to wait to have a kitten until after my
life calmed down a bit. He said he thought having
a kitten would encourage me to calm down a bit.
He said that maybe taking care of the kitten would
encourage me to stop going out to drink on my
off days and maybe inspire me to get a job
closer to home. I told him that I wasn't quite

(02:36):
ready for that yet, and that my job paid really well.
It would be hard to find a job like that
closer to home. That would also make it so that
I could only work four days a week to get
full time and benefits. He said he understood that I
liked working only four days a week, but maybe I
could make the sacrifice of getting a job with a
longer work week for the kitten. We argued for nearly

(02:58):
an hour about it, and we both said I had
horrible things to each other. No, not over a kitten.
In no way was he the only one saying awful things.
I was awful too. But then he brought up kids,
which he knew I was pretty against having, and I exploded.
I left our house and rented a hotel room for
the night, which was hard to do on Christmas in

(03:18):
such a touristy town. Wow, but I managed it. Whoa wow,
druma bum. When I came back, he was very quiet,
and so was I. We could hardly stand to look
at each other, and we didn't speak a word to
each other. Sometime during my eating and going to the bathroom,
he had disappeared, poof like a little magician. No goodbye,

(03:42):
no nothing. So I took the chance to gather Belinda
and a few of the toys that my fiance had
bought for her. Then I went to the shelter and
I returned to her. The person at the shelter who
helped me seemed to understand the situation. She was very
sweet and assured me that Belinda would find a good
home right literally, No love lost, nothing wrong. Belinda's adorable.

(04:03):
I just am not ready to take care of an animal.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
Yeah. The people at the shelter are probably like, thank
god he returned her then, because you're not a better
home for her.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yeah, I'm sure they were like, that was actually very
responsible of you, and Belinda will find a magnificent home
that is ready to take care of her. Then, in
the car, before I drove back home, I texted my
fiance and let him know I took Belinda back to
the shelter. He didn't see the message until hours later,
but when he did, he was furious. He told me

(04:31):
that I was cruel for taking her back to the
shelter the day after Christmas. Buddy, Belinda doesn't know what
Christmas is.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
You're ruining this cat's Christmas.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
You're gonna orphan that cat on the day after Christmas,
on Boxing Day. You didn't do that on Boxing Day, Buddy,
Belinda doesn't know anything. Belinda's got a little, little, tiny
pecan brain.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
M hm.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
Belinda doesn't know that she was a bad in the holidays.
By the way, not abandoned. Ope, He didn't put her
in a box on the side of the road. Took
her back to the shelter where she would be adopted.
Goofball mm. He said, I shouldn't have wasted the fee
he's spent to adopt her. Well, lesson learned there, buddy.
Then his mom started texting me too, and she told

(05:20):
me how horrible I was as well, Oh my god,
that her son was heartbroken over to my returning his gift,
that she was mad that when I left, it kept
him from going to their house to spend Christmas with
them because he had to take care of the kitten.
Which is who's fault? And who's fault would that be?
Would it be the fault of the guy who bought
the kitten that OPI specifically said they weren't ready for.

Speaker 3 (05:42):
Yeah, And also I just solved that problem for you
because we don't have a kitten anymore. He doesn't need
to come home like this. He can spend the holidays
with you.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
Yeah. This is this. Get out of here. This guy's
this is crazy.

Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
His mom also mentioned that he told her that he
was blindsided by the fact I didn't want children at
twenty one. Oh well, insane, right. She said that I
was a horrible fiance for not letting him know sooner
than I was against having children, and that she'd be
heartbroken if she couldn't have grandchildren. Well, you can always adopt,
you can you can always adopt, mother in law, What

(06:19):
are you talking about adopting grandchild. I was confused by
the last part of her message, as he was very
aware of the fact that I was pretty sure I
didn't want children. He knows that most of the women
on my mother's side of my family almost always had
horrible complications while giving birth, and I also had the
same concerns with having children as I did with the kitten.
I was also confused that she mentioned not having grandchildren.

(06:42):
My fiance isn't her only child. She has two daughters
as well, who have expressed their desires to have children
many times. I messaged him to try to get him
to tell me what he told his mom, but he
wouldn't respond. He would just leave me on red Late
that night, he came back and again we gave each
other the silent treatment thought out by New Year's Eve.

(07:02):
Why but my fiance keeps bringing up how I took
the kitten back in casual conversation. Oh my God, even
around our friends, which always earns me a bit of
a side eye. So now I don't know if I
did the right thing or if I'm the a hole.
So I did what any sane person would do sarcastically hah,
and came to Reddit before airing out our dirty laundry
to my friends, a majority of them being his friends too, boy,

(07:26):
and there is an edit. My fiance is also trying
to push our wedding up really soon after our fight
over Belinda. Why which, because don't.

Speaker 3 (07:34):
You know you have to get better if you start
marrying each other.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
It's crazy. Don't marry this man.

Speaker 3 (07:42):
Please don't. It's like a classic situation of an age
difference in a couple, and then the older one is
trying to like teach the younger one how to write
you things.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
It's all control. It's like, all, well, once we're married
and you're locked in, you'll be like too deep to
back out. And also, I'm gonna get you this cat
so that you'll force to be chill because I'm twenty
nine and I don't want to go out of the
way that you do. And I'm probably insecure about you know,
probably other guys, but I would never say that to
your face.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
Yet.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yeah, until you're married and you have no way to escape, jeez. Anyway,
it's terrible. I don't feel like I'm over this yet.
He says that the fight over the kitten was a
test and we passed it. That's weird, that's wrong that
the fight has led him to see that we're ready
for marriage. No, So to be clear, you guys didn't
resolve a single thing, and then this guy's like, yeah, no,

(08:31):
we were just able to stuff that down and deal
with it. So I guess we're ready to be married.

Speaker 3 (08:35):
We didn't like break up, so I think that means
we're good.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
Yeah. He first asked about pushing up the wedding to
New Year's Eve or on New Year's Eve.

Speaker 3 (08:43):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
I don't feel very ready for marriage, though, not with
how immature I acted during our fight over the kitten,
with the names I called him, and the way I
just left him after our fight instead of staying and
trying to work through things. No, no, don't do that
to yourself.

Speaker 3 (08:58):
Don't do that to yourself.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
This guy is more where at fault than you totally,
and it's good that we can see we have fault
and improvement. Sure, but this lies with your bad fiance.

Speaker 3 (09:10):
Yeah, it's not just you that you're not ready for marriage.

Speaker 2 (09:13):
If the fight over Belinda was a test, I feel
like I failed it. I went behind his back while
he was gone to return her to the shelter. You
just literally did the exact thing that you wanted. That's all.
You just did what you wanted, trust yourself, instead of
telling him to his face that I don't feel like
we could probably care for her before returning her to
the shelter. But you've already already did that before he

(09:33):
got the cat. That's the thing. Yeah, you've already done
that before you got the cat.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:37):
While he gave me the silent treatment over the kitten,
I didn't try to break the ice. I didn't do
anything to try to get him to talk to me.
I haven't apologized either for anything I've done to him,
not for the name calling, the running away, or the
silent treatment. He says that the fight over the kitten
has reinforced the idea for him that I'm the woman
that he wants to marry. That he believes that if
we made it through this, we could make it through anything.

(09:59):
But you guys didn't make it true.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
You guys are currently in this. You have not made
it through yet.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
My goodness. He put the problem in a bag and
through that bag in the river and said that problem's gone.
Now we've dealt with it. It's there under the water.

Speaker 3 (10:14):
And you know, The real reason that he's saying this
is just because he feels that she's pulling away, and
he feels that she knows that this is some sort
of problem, and he thinks that the only way to
get her back is to say, like, well, now I'm
ready for the next biggest step, right, see this romantic gesture.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
I'm going to give you the thing that you want
right because you want it so, you want it so bad.
And when you get married and you want this the
most thing you want, don't think, like.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
Stop being mad at me. I love you. I love you,
so you don't need to be mad at me anymore
because I have love.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
Yeah, maybe I haven't had enough time to process, but
I don't feel like we have really made it through
the fight. It's true.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
Trust your stuff.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
Do not marry this man. Please leave this man. You
are one of us.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
Yes, Oh my god, man, I forgot about that. Leave
this man, oh man, please leave.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
This is just a small window into what the whole
rest of your relationship with this guy's going to be like.

Speaker 3 (11:08):
Because if you're at the point where you're doubting yourself
so much and you're not willing or you're not acknowledging
all the things that he's doing bad, like you're probably
doing that out of trying to be some sort of
good person and trying to be understanding and forgiving and
all of that. But you don't need to do that
to be a good person.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
Like you can.

Speaker 4 (11:26):
You can still.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
Call out all of his bad behaviors and yeah, maybe
you shouldn't name call whatever, but that doesn't mean that
you're the only problem.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
Absolutely. I still feel sometimes like we are still in
the middle of the fight. We don't sit as close
together as we used to. He hasn't held my hand
since the fight, and I can barely bring myself to
kiss him every time he tries. The most I can
give him is a quick peck on the lips. I've
also been staying later at work on purpose to avoid him.

(11:57):
I've been coming up with all sorts of excuses when
I come home to him, none of which I think
he believes. And he's still insisting on pushing up the wedding.
Our friends are also messaging me and telling me that
I should give in what oh God, well and your
friends are his friends, Apparently that after what I put
him through during our fight, he deserves it right because

(12:19):
you should just marry someone because you feel guilty. His
mother has also been messaging me similar things. It's what
led me to wondering if I'm the a hole but
you're not, which you are not at all. And our
friends have been texting me about pushing up the wedding
a lot more in the last few days, which is weird.
Who does that? Can you imagine texting? Can you imagine
saying that to anyone? Writes No, I cannot crazy. The

(12:43):
comments already posted have slightly lessened the guilty I feel,
but I can't help but still think that I'm the
a hole. You're not. I haven't been clearly communicating with
him either, and I went behind his back, and I
haven't apologized at all. No, you know he still wants
to marry me, So I'll ask again, am I the
a hole?

Speaker 3 (12:58):
No?

Speaker 2 (12:58):
And if you marry this guy, I will never give you.
If you marry this man right now, I will not
forgive you.

Speaker 3 (13:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:05):
Please, for the love of God, if you have married
this man, leave him.

Speaker 3 (13:08):
Please leave him.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go
on to the next one.

Speaker 4 (13:13):
My boyfriend said he's miserable with me, yet he won't
let me.

Speaker 3 (13:17):
Leave, just get out of here man.

Speaker 4 (13:20):
And this comes directly from the r slash Okay Storytime
subreed it. I thirty one female, was going through a
nasty divorce in twenty twenty two, where my husband of
four years had been cheating on me with a girl
ten years younger.

Speaker 2 (13:33):
Oh.

Speaker 4 (13:35):
I had moved thirteen hundred plus miles across the country
for this man. When the time came to walk away
from the marriage, I left the state and moved to
a larger populated city. I just wanted a fresh start
for myself and my puppy that was only three months
old at the time.

Speaker 3 (13:50):
Oh.

Speaker 4 (13:50):
By the way, this comes from Psychic Psychanel. And if
you want to sit your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay Storytime subred it. I'm Sophia, I'm Angie,
and we're here to get good advice. Goofleep. But we
don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,
So let us know what you would do in the
comments and op says mid twenty twenty two, I decided
to test the waters and download a dating app. I

(14:13):
gave a brief synopsis about my divorce, not seeking anything serious,
but wanting to explore the new area. This is where
I met my current partner thirty six mail. His exact
response to my dating profile was.

Speaker 3 (14:26):
Sam sim sim what was what was on your dating profile?

Speaker 4 (14:32):
He too was actively going through a divorce and seeking
nothing serious. We met up and immediately hit it off.
I had a few great excursions and slowly became inseparable.
As both of our divorces were due to finalize around
the same time, within a month of each other, we
decided to make things more official due to his constant pressing.

(14:53):
My birthday came around, the folks came out to meet
him and celebrate. All was good, so I thought. We
even did a bit long distance for a month or
so while he was away for work, and I had
even met his folks. Well, my divorce got delayed due
to the holidays. His was taken off the table completely
by the judge as both parties were not in agreement,
so he was ordered to do couples counseling, which he

(15:15):
did not do. So he's not divorced.

Speaker 3 (15:19):
Yet, so he was lying, oh got.

Speaker 4 (15:23):
It, okay. This is where things get messy due to
the insecurity I've carried from my marriage. I have a
habit of keeping all texts and call logs that I
can't This is important for later. Sometime around the time
he chose to file for divorce again but had hit
a snag, he told me he was going to take
a solo trip with his two pups to decompress. I

(15:44):
supported this as personal time and mental health is high
on my priority list at this point. He was at
my house the day prior to the trip and came
immediately after he arrived back. He had given me no
reason to not trust him at this point. Flash forward
to January twenty twenty three. We beneficial for a few
months at this point, and he started to become distant.

(16:05):
I was suspicious, so I showed up to his house
and confronted him. This is when he disclosed that he
had been talking to the wife and was considering rekindling things. Uh, oh, what,
maybe maybe you shouldn't have, I don't know, been on
dating apps while you were in the process of a
divorce that was nowhere you're finalized.

Speaker 3 (16:28):
Yeah, I just don't like any bit of the situation.

Speaker 4 (16:32):
Mind you. He had told me of a lot of
unsavory things she had done to him that had led
to the end of the relationship, including all of his
family and friends stating that they would not be around
if he went back to her for whatever reason. I
made the decision to give him a choice. I wouldn't
be an option, and if you chose this path, I
wouldn't have any contact with him again. That very night,

(16:54):
he called her and told her that he was serious
about me. He would only be in contact regarding their divorce.
In the end of January, my divorce was finalized and
I found out I was pregnant when I haven't said yet.
He also had a young son that he had no
rights to from a one night stand, or so I
was told. We fought regularly, as in the beginning days,

(17:15):
I was hesitant to tell this child about the baby
until I was out of the first trimester. This was
a huge point of contention, as he felt he had
a right to tell whomever he wanted and refused to
understand my unease as all of my prior pregnancies ended
very early on. The stress caused me to spot and
I was terrified it was happening again.

Speaker 3 (17:35):
MM this so scaress is very scary.

Speaker 4 (17:38):
His mask started to slip. We fought throughout my pregnancy,
about literally anything and everything the house, we were moving
into finances, and even down to forbidding my mother from
the delivery room.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
Oh wow.

Speaker 4 (17:51):
It always ended with stonewalling, yelling, and even threats of
leaving me stranded when we visited my folks. At one
point he even would plan things without care or consideration
for my feelings, such as going to a different state
to visit family, but it turned into a gender reveal,
which I had explicitly expressed I didn't want to make
a big deal of mind you. I was working forty

(18:13):
five to sixty hour work weeks during all of this
on my feet. Around seven months in and around the
time that his divorce was supposed to finalize, once again
another blow. None of my family or friends could come
to our baby shower. My mom was having next surgery
to fuse or spine. I planned my own shower and
paid for all the decorations myself. The only contribution he

(18:34):
had was the sandwich platter and the invites. The party
was a disaster. I spent the entire time upstairs on
a stool, hiding away from the forty to fifty guests
that came while he did the Devil's lettuce downstairs with
rotating people. The turnout was entirely his people. When things
settled down, no games were played, and I had spent

(18:55):
more on decorations than we got in baby items. Feeling
a little defla, I thought I would join a little
video platform to doom scroll and maybe make a cutesye
video when our son was born. It was then I
remembered he had explicitly requested I block his soon to
be ex wife on all social media platforms. I go
to do just that and see a familiar photo in

(19:18):
a still for a video on her page curiosity on
Live of the Cat.

Speaker 3 (19:22):
Right.

Speaker 4 (19:23):
Turns out that solo trip he took in the beginning
of our relationship wasn't solo after Oh, I knew it.
I knew it would. This guy, who was in the
midst of like not even a divorce separation kind of right,
didn't take a solo trip classic. I was able to

(19:44):
confirm this by checking my text from this timeframe and
seeing the same photos she had documented the entire trip.
At this point, I was devastated. I can't approach him
about it either, as we had gotten into a fight
not long fire where he took my car are keys
and cornered me in the house, preventing me from leaving.
I feel trapped. Uh that you He's literally trapping you.

(20:08):
That is completely not okay. Yeah, what could I do?
I had borrowed money to buy furniture and things from
my grandparents for the nursery. I was locked in a
lease and heavily pregnant. I chose to push it down
and try to focus on brighter skies. I deleted the
app shortly after this. His divorce also finalized Fall twenty

(20:28):
twenty three, three days before a little boy arrived. Another blow.
I lost one of the most amazing humans I had
ever known, my grandfather. I had no other choice but
to accept the pain, bury it deep, and come to
terms that I would also miss the funeral. He showed
no support or empathy during this time, as we were

(20:48):
still fighting about the birth plan. I had torn the
top and bottom of my APP muscles, so I was
no longer able to work and placed on bed rest.
Oh my god, from like the pre from the birth.

Speaker 3 (21:00):
This terrible.

Speaker 4 (21:02):
That's awful. Yeah, my next ob appointment, I requested an
induction at thirty nine weeks. Okay, so wait, no, you
aren't pregnant yet.

Speaker 3 (21:10):
So that was just during the pregnancy.

Speaker 4 (21:12):
I get Yeah, I guess just during the pregnancy. You
strained it. How does that happen? Oh more reasons to
be terrified of youth. Jeez, that's not even the birth part. Yeah, exactly,
just just raight up right. Well, I was struggling to
move and my mental health was in a decline at
this point. He had last minute decided to get things
I needed for the birth, the postpartum kits and little odds.

(21:35):
It ends this was also the only contribution to the
baby at the time between my family, myself and friends.
I had furnished the entire nursery with new and used
items and gotten diapers. Both sets of our parents were
able to come into the state for the birth. I
had an amazing berth. Okay, at least we have one win. Yeah, right,
you know, it seems like you had a lot of blows.

(21:57):
But we got we got one in.

Speaker 3 (21:58):
Yeah, we got there.

Speaker 4 (21:59):
In the end, those three days in the hospital, I
actually thought maybe he would change as he agreed to
both moms being present. Little boy came quick and it
ended up being both sets of parents alongside us for
his birth. Our little boy came into the world surrounded
by every single direct family member that loved him postpartum.
As soon as the parents left. About a week after

(22:20):
arriving home, he joined a gym and signed me up too.
She just had a baby. My god, she just had
a baby.

Speaker 3 (22:28):
And in that pregnancy she tore her ab muscles.

Speaker 4 (22:31):
Yeah, like, she tore ab muscles and she just had
a baby.

Speaker 3 (22:36):
Yeah. Like, I don't know if this is like a plus.
She was saying it as if that was like a
positive thing that he's like signed her up.

Speaker 4 (22:41):
But I don't know.

Speaker 3 (22:42):
I feel like some fishies going on.

Speaker 4 (22:44):
That's crazy, mind you. I had to be cleared by
a doctor as I had torn my abs and couldn't go.
During this time, I was left to handle a newborn solo.
He barely assisted or even cooked. I was frequently yelled
at for not doing an cleaning while he spent two
to four hours at the gym every day. I feel

(23:05):
like he's cheating. Is very possible two to four out
like four hours at the gym as every day.

Speaker 3 (23:11):
You only do that if you're like a professional athlete.

Speaker 4 (23:13):
Yeah. I was left to fend for myself for food
as well as he was dieting and meal prepping. I
struggled to produce any milk. Between the stress and inadequate
food consumption, I felt like a failure as I had
wanted to breastfeed and simply was not producing enough. Around
this time, I was struggling and sought therapy. Months pass,
fights continue with no end in sight. I'm not losing

(23:36):
enough weight. According to him, you literally just had a baby. Yeah,
he's paying for a gym. I didn't ask for and
frankly didn't have the time as he would go during
the day, return and nap, so my only option to
go was at night. Wasn't exactly something I was interested in,
as I was also solo parenting. At this point, I

(23:56):
had six months of paid time off between the company
I worked for and the state. During this time, I
was trying to sort out returning to work. Well, that's awesome.
Six months paid off, paid work is incredible.

Speaker 3 (24:09):
Yeah, that's pretty crazy.

Speaker 4 (24:10):
He loses his job. High pitt that during this time
as he raged out in front of the big boss
because of his lack of emotional regulation and refusal to
work outside as much as possible. This brings us to
the spring of twenty twenty four.

Speaker 3 (24:24):
Oh my god. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (24:26):
If this guy is one already not being a parent,
just spending most of his time at the gym, now
does not have a job, what is he contributing, right?

Speaker 3 (24:37):
I mean, you've been using the term solo parentings. That's
what you're doing.

Speaker 4 (24:41):
You are a single parent, and he's making it actively
harder for you because he's causing you stress.

Speaker 3 (24:47):
God, I just call anyone you can to just swoop
you out of the situation.

Speaker 4 (24:51):
Anyone. I mean, apparently it seems like your parents are
at least someone involved. They were at the Earth, so yeah,
so just have them get you out of there. You're
the only one who's making money. He can figure it out,
you know.

Speaker 3 (25:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (25:05):
I applied everywhere and didn't qualify for assisted daycare. I
tried to find remote jobs and night jobs to work
around his schedule, as it only made sense that he,
being higher paid in his field, could work during the day. Nothing.
By fall twenty twenty four, I resulted in getting an
overnight job at a local gas station. This has been

(25:26):
a year of heck. He refused to be employed for
nearly a year, and only recently in the past couple
of months of twenty twenty five has he gotten a
job in a completely different field, making half of what
he once could in the other. He used unemployment to
supply anything and everything hobby wise he could, while only
contributing to his portion of the rent and utilities. He

(25:48):
attempted to make an album, spent days and hours in
the basement away from us making tracks. He's like, well,
my job isn't working. I don't want to get another
real job, so I'm going to become a SoundCloud wrapper.

Speaker 3 (26:01):
Right The best possible thing that I can do right
now is go into like a really competitive and like
unstable job market, right now.

Speaker 4 (26:11):
Let's do that with what I can only assume is
zero talent.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
Yeah right.

Speaker 4 (26:17):
This entire year he claimed to be applying to jobs
and not getting any bites. So I spent the evenings
while he slept working, going home sleeping a couple hours,
getting little to no sleep as he was loud and
would yell at me for sleeping too long, never more
than three hours, by the way. Now is I've had
cameras installed in the house for six months as things

(26:40):
haven't calmed down.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
Oh boy.

Speaker 4 (26:42):
He's established parental rights for his older son and is
pursuing full custody. I pay for almost all the groceries, diapers, clothes,
et cetera for our sun and now I'm free childcare
to his oldest while he works. I get four hours
of sleep a day, and it's six am to eight
am when little boy wakes up, and one pm to
three pm when little boy goes down for nab time.

(27:05):
I cook, eye clean, He does little to nothing. Before
you say, WHOA, why haven't you left? I couldn't afford to.
With paying my portion of the rent plus all the
other expenses that should be split. I've been struggling to
save money, as well as being locked into an ironclad
lease until spring twenty twenty six. Dang, dude, awful. I've

(27:29):
managed to get enough money between the one friend I
do have here to finally leave, but that leaves the lease,
so buying time playing nice, all while he's accusing me
of infidelity and saying it's nonsense. I don't sleep with
him f He's asked me repeatedly to marry him, and
I've stalled. Good. Every time we fight, he calls me
names and says hateful things. I've been checked out for

(27:52):
over a year and sleep on the couch as he
will routinely punt me out of our room for trivial matters,
recently after yet another ruin holiday, as he ruins them
all one way or another. I was accused of cheating
once more wit witt, he says, the cheater. Yeah, literally,
he says, the cheater. Things ceased on the accusations, but

(28:13):
I noticed he's guarding his phone more, and well, okay,
here we go. I resisted the urge to look for
a long while, but something wasn't sitting right. I know,
tiss disc but I eventually got a hold of his
smart watch. There it is plain as day. He's talking
to the ex wife again, bashing me, lying, making him
out to be this amazing father while I played chess,
not checkers, Ladies and gents. I got a full panel

(28:37):
run to ensure of no STDs and got in contact
with the ex wife. Price to a moving company, and
it helps that I have some money that he's unaware of.
Turns out, not only is he speaking to her again
and doing all the wonderful things he's doing, but my
entire relationship is a facade. He told her, I baby
trapped him. I did not not once did that ever

(28:57):
come up And He even took a victory lap around
his house and I showed him the test. He told
her that he feels trapped and still loves her. Oh
and he supposedly plans to leave me when the lease
is up to well.

Speaker 2 (29:10):
Thank goodness, great perfect.

Speaker 4 (29:12):
I also found out everything he said about his ex
wasn't true. He got her pregnant one month before I did,
but it was not successful because of him. Yeah, he's
been also talking or sleeping with other women. Shocking, shocking
that the guy accusing you of cheating is actually right
the cheater.

Speaker 3 (29:31):
It's crazy how every single story that happens turns out
that way.

Speaker 4 (29:34):
Yeah, well, you think that they would learn to shut
their mouths, You would think. I found a few different
unsaved numbers and text threads with suspicious messages. I confronted
him just after our son's birthday, which I paid for,
and got yell that most of the day he accused
me of being a spy and a snake, moved his
things into our guest room and were waiting out the lease.

(29:57):
It's been literal heck he yo yo, between being an
insufferable human to trying to be kind, which I'm sure
is a tactic to try and convince me to stay.

Speaker 3 (30:08):
I think river, I think we need to throw this
man in the river and he can swim if he
can swim away.

Speaker 4 (30:14):
From you, but the curs will pull him further and
further away from wherever you are.

Speaker 3 (30:20):
Yep, and hopefully there's like a waterfall at the NBA.

Speaker 4 (30:22):
Yes, and he's fine, he's just really far away from you. Yeah,
that would be the ideal.

Speaker 3 (30:29):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (30:30):
The rest of the story, Well, I guess I'll have
to give you an update on my escape. No lease renewal,
which is something he's been trying to get me to
do with the custody looming for his older son. Contrary
to what he's been telling the ex I'm taking custody
of our son and walking away. I hope that with
the documentation and police reports I have, I will be
able to get full custody. We spoke this past Sunday

(30:53):
about how I was planning on moving, and he spent
the conversation trying to guilt trip me for breaking up
the household. We should be able to live together without
being together.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
What we should be roommates.

Speaker 4 (31:07):
I don't want to be with you, but I'll be
a roommate.

Speaker 3 (31:10):
We should be able to live together. Never mind the
reason that we can't live together is because I'm awful
and terrible to you.

Speaker 4 (31:17):
What if you paid for all of the rent? Yeah,
doesn't that sound like a good idea?

Speaker 3 (31:22):
Right? We should be able to wear who's out?

Speaker 4 (31:25):
He also had the audacity to say he would file
for full custody of my son, giving me two weekends
a month. Oh yeah, you and your lack of job
right are getting get your full custody?

Speaker 3 (31:36):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (31:37):
Okay, bud Oi do I feel stupid? Should have just
left in January of twenty twenty three. This entire thing
sounds like a TV drama and I'm so upset I've
let things get this far. Boundaries are important, guys, and
staying with someone after they've admitted to considering going back
to an X is never the move. If you made

(31:58):
it this far, thank you for letting me trauma. Currently,
there's four more months until the lease ends. Catch you
any update if anyone cares to know what I'm wondering here?

Speaker 3 (32:08):
M hmm?

Speaker 4 (32:09):
Can we just I mean, yeah, you have to keep
still like you still have to keep playing paying for
the lease?

Speaker 1 (32:14):
One?

Speaker 4 (32:15):
Can we get a subbler? It might be a little difficult,
but like maybe you talk to him and say, I'm leaving,
Yeah you can, I will. You know, you can continue
to pay for the lease on your own, or we
can get someone to subplet yeah, or alternatively, you continue
to pay for the lease and then you stay with
your parents or friend anyone you can for the four

(32:35):
months right.

Speaker 3 (32:36):
That you you know have left, yeah, because you already
have someone lined up after you get out of the lease.
But like, you know, if you can afford it, I
think it's worth it, yeah, to get away from this man.

Speaker 4 (32:46):
I mean yeah, like if you were staying with a
found or a family, you wouldn't be paying I mean
hopefully you wouldn't be paying anything, right, or even like
you could even say, like, hey, I can't pay anything
for these months that already said, like maybe it's like
three months if they need a bit to like organize everything,
but I can't pay anything for these three months. But
then after that, yeah, you know, I'll get you that back,

(33:10):
or like I could pay then I would just go
to your parents, you know. Yeah, that's my advice.

Speaker 3 (33:19):
But good luck, good freaking luck. And that's the end
of this story.

Speaker 4 (33:23):
We're going on to.

Speaker 3 (33:24):
The next one.

Speaker 2 (33:26):
Hey, this is Riley, your's favorite Southern bail. We're gonna
get back to these stories, but here's three minutes worth
of thats from our sponsors. I worked hard for years
for a family vacation, but my son refused to go.

Speaker 3 (33:38):
Well was it boring?

Speaker 2 (33:39):
I forty eight mail have been married to my wife
for thirteen years. I have a son who's eighteen, and
she has a son who just turned nineteen. When they
were younger, the boys were extremely close, but they slowly
drifted apart as they got older. A big part of that,
I believe was the financial disparity between what I could
provide and what my step son's biological father, who was
very wealthy, could give him. Time, that difference became more

(34:01):
noticeable and harder to ignore. By the way, this comes
from user Amiba United forty six thirty four, and if
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay storytime Sepreddit. I'm Dakota, I'm.

Speaker 1 (34:10):
Sophia, I'm Keon, and we're here to give.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
Good advice Googli because we don't have all the answers
to all lives problems. We only know like what we know.
So if you know stuff we don't know. Why don't
you tell us please? My step son had the kind
of childhood where he went on frequent mini vacations, participated
in expensive activities, and had nicer things. Over All, my
son did not have those same opportunities. I shared custody
with his mother until she passed away six years ago,

(34:34):
and between the two of us we did our best
to give him good memories. Even though we could not
match what my step son's other side of the family
could afford, we tried to make up for it with
time and care. Still, the difference was always there. As
the boys grew older, my son became more aware of
that gap. I always tried to reassure him that it
was not his stepbrother's fault and that different family simply
have different levels of resources. Unfortunately, that explanation never fully

(34:56):
eased the feeling. Their relationship did not become hostile, and
they still talk to each other, but they are no
longer close. There's a distance between them that was not
there when they were younger. During the summer between my
son's sophomore and junior year of high school, I finally
received a long overdue pay increase. I decided I wanted
to do something truly special for him. I began saving
for a real vacation, something my son had never experienced before.

(35:18):
Over the course of more than two years, I managed
to save over fifteen thousand dollars. This trip was meant
to be something meaningful and memorable for him. Originally, the
trip was planned as a family vacation with both boys included.
I booked a week long lodge trip for winter break
from December thirteenth to December twentieth. Both boys are in
college now, and the timing worked out perfectly since my

(35:40):
step son finishes finals on the eighth and my son
on the eleventh. When wife told her son about the
trip before I had the chance to tell mine, so
he already knew he was included. I booked everything in
mid November and planned to tell my son once it
was fully finalized. When I finally told my son, his
reaction was immediate and emotional. He lit up and he
could not stop smiling. This would be his first real

(36:02):
vacation and his first time traveling far outside our state.
He kept thanking me, and I felt incredibly proud that
I could finally give him something like this. However, when
I mentioned that his stepbrother would also be coming. His
expression fell instantly.

Speaker 4 (36:16):
Honestly, I think it should have just been like a
you and him thing. I think that would have been
a little bit more meaningful for him. I don't think
it should have been like if it's a graduation gift.
I think it should have been like just a you
and him thing.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
I asked him what was wrong, and he told me
he assumed the trip would just be me and him,
or maybe me him and his step mom. He never
thought his stepbrother would be included. He explained that every
time he finally gets something special, that never feels like
it's truly his. Because his stepbrother has always had so
many opportunities, his trip felt like the one thing that
was supposed to be just for us. Hearing that was difficult,

(36:52):
but I understood where he was coming from. To be fair,
many of the smaller outings over the years were just
me and my son. Sometimes my step son joined us,
but not always. Still, I understood that this trip was different.
This was something my son had never had before, and
he wanted to experience it without feeling overshadowed. I told
him that I didn't feel right excluding my step son
as this was meant to be a family trip. I

(37:14):
also explained that everything had already been booked and changing
or canceling plans would mean losing a significant amount of money.
My son eventually forced a smile and said he was fine.
A few days later, he texted me and said he
didn't want to go on the trip at all. He
thanked me for planning it, but said he would rather
stay home. I called him immediately, and although he insisted
it was not about his stepbrother, it became clear as

(37:34):
we talked that it was. He said he didn't think
he'd be happy on the trip if his stepbrother came along,
and did not want to bring the mood down for
everyone else. That message stayed with me. After that conversation.
I asked my wife how she would feel if the
trip became just a father son trip. She was very
upset at first and said it would be wrong to
set a precedent of excluding family members from vacations.

Speaker 4 (37:55):
You already kind of have that precedent, Like, obviously is
going with his father, but not to the son. Yeah,
but it's not It is different. I get that obviously
it's not his dad.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
You know what. My advice is always to become unbotherable, Okay,
become less botherable. I explained that the trip ended up
being significantly cheaper than expected, and the leftover money could
be used for a family trip later, so everyone could
still enjoy something special together. I also told her that
my son never asks for anything, and I really planned
this trip with him in mind. She eventually agreed, though

(38:27):
she was clearly uneasy, especially since her son had already
been told about the original trip and was understandably upset
when he learned that he could no longer come. Am
I the a whole comments you're the ale. The trip
was already planned as a family trip and step son
was invited. Your son wants to throw a tantrum about it,
and you just let him. He had plenty of one
on one time with just you, per your post, and
he still wants to be difficult. He had one on

(38:48):
one time with me, but it was always small things
like movies are dinner. He never had anything close to
an actual trip. That's why this felt different to him
and why he wanted it to just be us. Okay.
Conversation nine seven fifty says, did step son's bio dad
ever offer to include your son? On trips, because this
is seeming a bit one sided to me, with everyone
saying you were wrong to exclude the steps on, yet

(39:09):
there's no mention of step son's dad including your kid.

Speaker 4 (39:12):
I don't think that. Again, I don't think op He's
wrong here, so I partially agree with that commentary. But
also stepdad has literally no contact with Opie's son.

Speaker 2 (39:21):
Ohpi replies, no, my son was never invited on trips.
I know you're getting pounded with you're the A hole,
but I feel quite a bit of sympathy for you.

Speaker 3 (39:28):
Ope.

Speaker 2 (39:29):
I think your intentions were good, so not the A
hole there. But how often does your son really ask
you for something? Is this the first time he's done
something like this. I think that is a very important consideration.
He's been going along with all of it, but feeling
more and more bad until he finally couldn't contain it anymore.
And I just kind of shake my head at all
the holier than now judgments about how your son is
an a hole. He told you how he really feels

(39:51):
and simply asked that the vacation be the two of
you together alone. Did he have a tantrument explode? Did
he cuss and yell, or did he just ask and
then quietly withdraw listen. I think, unlike other that you're
actually on a bit of a knife, Sat Joe Pe.
Sometimes with our kids they don't express themselves well. They
are still young. Communication can be very rough. It can
swing wildly between no talk to too much emotion all

(40:12):
at once, and we older adults need to give them grace.
If your son has been holding back a lot of
these feelings of resentment and wanting to do something special
and be celebrated just by Hugh for once, then I
think you have to pay careful attention to all the
factors because this could become one of those deep grievances
that your kid just can't or won't get over, and
that would be sad. Sometimes our children really want to

(40:35):
just know that we prioritize them and value them, and
we have to show it and prove it. We have
to remember just how insecure our children are and how
much they need us. So I don't have judgment for
anyone in this case. I do think it was bungled
and you would have done better to talk to your
son earlier. I mean the step brother got to know
before he did. I really hope you can salvage this
and it doesn't sow a seed of bitterness that leads

(40:57):
to buried grievances and estrangement later on. Please update me.
Op says, yes, he hardly asks for anything for birthdays,
Christmas or other special occasions. He would never ask for anything.
I would always say it didn't matter, or that he
didn't mind. He was never ungrateful. That's part of why
I really wanted to give him this trip. I always
felt bad that I couldn't give him the things his

(41:17):
stepbrother had. He just got quiet and resigned when he
told me that he didn't yell or anything. This bushy
shrew replies, Yeah, I'm gonna stand by my previous comment.
When you have a child who is quiet like yours
mine is too, you have to be more vigilant as
a parent to really take the time to assess their
feelings in how deep they run. Honestly, I would tell
your wife and step son that this is a big deal,

(41:39):
it's serious, and that you're sorry, but you need to
really take care of your son and focus on him
and show him that his feelings and wants are important
to you. I just have a weird feeling that if
you don't, you will really come to regret this much
later when it's too late. Sorry for the doom and gloom,
but my mom radar just went off with your post.
Another edit here to say the fact that your son
got very quiet and resigned. He is it's this close

(42:00):
to giving up. It's not when they are screaming and
yelling that you should get scared. It's when they withdraw
and pull away. Then you're almost too late and you
have to act. Another two cents from a supportive parent
and the son's relationship with his mom. They went out
to eat often, and that's about it. She passed away
six years ago.

Speaker 3 (42:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (42:16):
I think you're doing all right, Op. I think you're
doing the best you can. We don't always make the
right decisions, but it's just how we proceed after making
mistakes that's important.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
After reading the comments, I talked to my son more
about it. He still didn't want to go on the trip.
We tried to work it out, but he was firm,
so my wife, my step son, and I went without him.
I thought maybe I could use the extra money to
do something just for him later, or keep saving for
the summer. I had a good time on the trip,
but I really missed having him there. I kept in
touch while we were away and knew he was staying

(42:48):
with my parents. When we got back, he still wasn't home.
I called to ask when he'd be coming back, and
he said he'd stay with his grandparents until school started.
We spent Christmas Eve with my wife's family, and then
traveled to my parents' place on Christmas Day, where he
was He mostly stayed in the guest room. I tried
talking to him. He talked back, but minimally, and he
told me he was fine. Tried to give him money

(43:08):
for Christmas. He thanked me, but told me he didn't
want it. I sent him a text the day after
Christmas because I was hurt and didn't want him thinking
I was trying to upset him. I even offered another
vacation just for him and me, but he declined. He
told me that growing up he sometimes resented and felt
jealous of his stepbrother. When I framed the trip as
something special for him, he realized it wasn't really just
for him at all. Watching his stepbrother's dad always give

(43:28):
him experiences and things, he just wanted one of those
moments for himself, something that was completely his, just me
and him, without having to share. He said he just
wanted us to experience something first, something that was his,
because growing up had been rough. His stepbrother went on
trips often, got birthday celebrations and Christmas trips and other outings,
and no one cared about how he felt. He said
it hurt a lot to grow up watching all of

(43:50):
that happen while he didn't get the same opportunities. You know,
your wife passes six years ago. You probably you know
was a lot going on there. I think we really got.
Yet you needed to get in front of this way
way earlier, and maybe.

Speaker 4 (44:04):
You tried, but it clearly, like I think that commentary
before was pretty spot on. When he's withdrawing completely, I
don't know how you can get your relationship back with him.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
He talked about how even on his birthdays or when
his grandparents would take him out to a water park,
his stepbrother always had to come along. He never understood
why he was always forced to share experiences while his
stepbrother got to do other things without him. He wanted
something he could call his own, a moment just for him.
When I told him about the trip, A lot of
the happiness he felt at first was from thinking it
could finally be something for him alone. Then he realized

(44:38):
his stepbrother was going to be there and that took
it away. He admitted he was angry when he left
to stay with my parents, but my mom told him
to use that anger as motivation for school. Now he's
planning to focus on school so he can take himself
on nice trips in the future and that will mean
more to him. He said he's okay with not doing
anything with me right now and that he's looking forward
to the future, hoping he can afford the things he wants.

(44:59):
He said he didn't want to like he's my second choice.
I don't know. I feel hurt and guilty. I worry
I might have messed up my relationship with him, and
I don't know how to fix it.

Speaker 4 (45:06):
But like, I also don't know how to fix it.

Speaker 2 (45:08):
And you've been messing this up for a long time.

Speaker 4 (45:10):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (45:11):
I just don't think you were present enough, Yeah, to
head this off. This is something that should have been
talked out in deep explanation years and years. He's kind
of giving up, and that's the end of this story.
We're gonna go on to the next one.

Speaker 3 (45:24):
My mother excluded me from the party after asking me
to cook for the family.

Speaker 4 (45:28):
I can't do both.

Speaker 3 (45:30):
I fifteen female, really like baking and cooking food. Most
of the time, I'm making everyone little treats to try,
or I'm cooking dinner for my family from our background.
It is sort of one of my love languages. Often
I will bring food to family events because my aunts
and uncles are busy all the time and have little
time to make food before they host parties and stuff.
Because I'm not working yet, I have more time to
make all this fun food. By the way, that comes

(45:51):
from Mean Conference seventy three forty And if you want
to submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay,
storytime separated it and I'm Angie, I'm Sophia, and we're
here to give good advice goofully. But we don't have
all the answers. We just know what we would do
in these situations. So let us know what you would
do in the comments. So on Christmas, we typically open
presents at home and then all have lunch or dinner

(46:11):
at someone's house. But this year my mom said that
we would not all be together. I was a bit upset,
but was like, all right, that's fun with me. Then
my aunt called me and asked if I had thought
about what food I was making for Christmas night. I
asked what she meant, and she told me she was
having a party, and my mom promised I would make
food for everyone. I did not really have a problem
with that, because, like I said, I love cooking, and

(46:32):
it was early notice, so I was just like, oh,
I will get ready at this time and then I
will have time to make the food. She asked why
I would be getting ready. That is when she told
me that it was an adult party. I asked for
more info and she mentioned that cousins my age were going.
I was kind of upset and asked why I was the.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
Only one not going.

Speaker 3 (46:52):
She said, my mom thinks that I am just not
maturna for a late party. I told her it honestly
just sounded like an excuse, and then I hung up.
I went to my mom and she did not see
a problem with me not going. I told her that
there was no way I was putting effort into that
if I was being excluded. I started crying at this point,
and it made my mom angry. She said I was
being selfish and acting like a child. I kept pressing

(47:15):
for a proper reason, but my mom kept saying, I
do not want you going, and I am your mother,
so that is that. My tone was very rude by
this point because I was on the verge of tears.
My mom said, if I did not make the food,
they would have to order food and I would inconvenience everyone.
I said, then order it and end of the conversation.
I called my dad and he said that he would
come down to where I live and we could drive

(47:36):
up to his place for Christmas so I could be
with my family that wants me there.

Speaker 4 (47:39):
N Wait, this is for Christmas.

Speaker 3 (47:42):
Yes, they're having like multiple parties, but this is like
the adult party that she can't go to but has
to work for. Yeah, yeah, go with your dad. So
even if I wanted to help now, I would be
a two hour drive away. Basically, they have no food
plans for the party.

Speaker 4 (47:56):
Now.

Speaker 3 (47:56):
I suggested local chicken shops that do delivery, or even
buying frozen food from the shops, but they are saying
that they do not want to do that.

Speaker 4 (48:04):
Well, then starve, I guess, Yeah, I don't know, or
it just invite me Yeah.

Speaker 3 (48:08):
Am I really that much of a party pooper?

Speaker 2 (48:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (48:10):
Honestly, I'm not going at that point. I'm not making
them food.

Speaker 3 (48:13):
Tu I wouldn't want to come even if they invited
me at this point, Julie, while they did not want
me there, I know everyone was counting on me for food.
From their perspective, I am now saying no and being
selfish because I want to suspend the Christmas with my dad.
I am usually someone who tries to see both sides,
but this is really difficult. Of course, I am biased
and my feelings are hurt, so an outside perspective would

(48:33):
be nice. Thank you for any feedback. PS. Sorry if
this is confusing, and please feel free to ask extra
things that I did not mention. I am incredibly tired
right now and may have left some details out and
there are some comments. Trucked engineer says, not the a hoole.
I'm very glad that your dad at least is there
for you and actually wants to spend Christmas with you.
I'm assuming your parents are divorced. Who has primary custody

(48:54):
or is it split.

Speaker 2 (48:55):
Fifty to fifty?

Speaker 3 (48:55):
Could you talk to your dad about staying with him
since it seems like your mom doesn't want you. Opie says, yes,
they're divorced and have been for a little bit of
five ish years. Most of the time it's fifty to fifty,
but my dad got a promotion at work, so he
works more often and just lets me stay at Moms
when he's extra busy. But he does say even if
he is at work, I'm always welcome in his house,
so I think he would not mind if I was

(49:17):
there all the time. Hokey Pokey says, just curious. Are
the cousins your age that are attending male or female?
Opie says, it's all got druged. Engineer says again, has
your mom done any other things like this recently, basically
using you for her own gain? Opie says, not that
I've noticed or had a problem with. She often volunteers
me to making the food or babysitting and things like

(49:38):
that during family events, but at least I'm usually invited
to those ones anyway. There's not much other situations that
really bothered me or made me upset that I can
think of off the top of my head. Cute Bangalin says,
your family sounds like they might be of an ethnic
background that has different values.

Speaker 4 (49:52):
If not, then they are real a holes. Good for
you and.

Speaker 3 (49:55):
Standing your ground. Merry Christmas anyway, Opie says, we have
a Balkan background, but it's not case where this is
a sort of custom. Also, I think there's more Australian
born than actual European born in my family. By now,
Merry Christmas to you. Another commentary says, not the a hole.
You were old enough to cook for the party, but
not old enough to actually go to the party. That's
not how it works. Who does your family think you

(50:17):
are Cinderella? But there is an update three days later.
I hope everyone had an awesome Christmas. Feel free to
chat in the comments about what you got, because I
love talking about the holidays.

Speaker 4 (50:26):
I for one, got a vintage car for my dad.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
What whoa?

Speaker 3 (50:30):
Which was insane and I started crying, what, Oh my god,
you're fifteen and he got you a vintage car? Are
you rich?

Speaker 4 (50:40):
That's insane?

Speaker 3 (50:40):
I mean he did get a job promotion again, so
damn much of a promotion.

Speaker 4 (50:45):
But that's like a vintage car. Whicheah. I don't know
much about cars, but a lot of money.

Speaker 3 (50:52):
Right. When I say crying, I mean I was bawling
my eyes out. For anyone who knows cars, it's a
Ford falcon x y. I can't I've yet, but all
I talk about is cooking and cars. He said I
could have it for my collection until I can start
driving it around, and he even insinuated that I could
have more cars when he freezed up in storage shed
near his work. I could not stop crying because I

(51:14):
was so insanely excited by far my best Christmas. I
took a lot of comments into account, indulging the advice
and the kind messages, so I was feeling confident in
my decisions. So yes, I did end up spending Christmas
with my dad. I was at home while Mom was
at work on Christmas Eve, and he drove hours to
pick me up. I left Mom a short message letting
her know that I was with Dad. That message was
followed by thirty four messages telling me that I'm basically

(51:37):
the worst daughter ever. She didn't say those exact words,
but that was the message. She kept saying, how dare
I leave without telling her? And how dare I spend
Christmas not with my family? Then it turned into messages
saying that she was going to smash my things and
that she better not see me at New Year's because
she was furious and didn't want to look at my face.
I blocked her and removed the conversation, but before that,

(51:57):
I copied the message I sent her into my notes.

Speaker 4 (52:00):
I'll base it here. I look forward to Christmas with
my dad's side.

Speaker 3 (52:02):
Who were happy to see me. And guess what, I
don't even have to cook for them. They aren't relying
on a teenager to feed thirty thirty people.

Speaker 4 (52:10):
Oh my gosh, I haven't even ever fed thirty people,
a whole lot of people.

Speaker 3 (52:15):
They're ordering food like normal people, like people who actually
care about the people around them. Mom, I don't know
what your problem was, but that whole situation hurts so bad,
and you're the one person who's meant to be on
my side if no one else is. I will see
you after New Year's and maybe we can talk. And
my dad helps me write it. She kept messaging, but
I blocked her so i'd stop getting spammed. I cried

(52:36):
a little, but then I felt better. Me and Dad
got to the house, any guys along with a car.
There were so many presents. I've never seen such a
crowded Christmas tree in my life. I was ecstatic and
felt like a toddler in a toy shop. Christmas itself
was really nice. My dad's girlfriend is very sweet and
her son is really funny. He's one of those people
you can tell is going to make a cool uncle

(52:57):
one day, if that makes sense. I saw some comments
just making food and posting it just to piss off
my mom. My dad had the exact same idea and
laughed when I told him that my friends had said
it too. I did end up baking, but it was
with my dad's girlfriend. Her name is Annie and she
looks a lot like Jennifer Anniston. We made a classic
Christmas trifle, Ozzie's No and a bisco Off cheesecake that

(53:19):
literally had me foaming at the mouth. She also loves
baking and bought me a really cool book with fun
and difficult recipes to try. I posted photos on Facebook,
and Annie posted some on her Instagram that my aunt stocks,
including a photo of me pretending to like the cake.
It was more of a fun little photo shoot than
anything else. I'm sharing all of these nice things so
you know that my Christmas was really good, even with
what I'm about to say next, Oh no, I'm so

(53:42):
scared or no, I.

Speaker 4 (53:44):
Really does feel like opia is Cinderella. Yeah, like she's
not allowed to come to the ball and she has
to cook for everything and do all the chores. Yes,
and then in the end she gets to go live
with like happily ever after in the castle. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (53:55):
My aunt decided to post a long message on Facebook
complaining about not having me and saying that I abandoned
the family. She then started talking badly about my dad
and calling him names. I reported the post and then
called her and told her to take it down if
she ever wanted to speak to me again. I also
told her not to talk badly about the one person
who actually wanted me for Christmas and supported me. I

(54:16):
was pretty much spewing words because I was so upset.
I don't care about her Facebook friends talking crap about me,
but my dad deserved better than that. She didn't say
anything and just hung up, and about twenty minutes later
the post was deleted. After that, a lot of family
members continued messaging me to yell at me. My dad
told me to block them and enjoy Christmas, but then
the spam calling started. Oh lord, I ended up having

(54:38):
a panic attack during Christmas dinner, so he had to
calm me down and take my phone for a bit
until the notification stopped. They finally stopped around midnight, when
everyone seemed to get tired of it. I think it's
safe to say that I'm going to live with my
dad full time. I'm upset and nervous because school and
everything is set up with mom. But hopefully if I
can't live with dad permanently, I can stick out four

(54:59):
more years with mom. Once I get my full driver's license,
I can be at dads whenever I'm not at school,
and there isn't edits. I retrieved the messages after some
commentary's advice. Thanks to everyone who let me know that
it was smart to keep them. And that's the end
of that story. Yeah, I would agree that's very smart
to keep all the messages because your mom's weird. And
also I don't know, like you're like, oh, I don't

(55:20):
know if my.

Speaker 4 (55:21):
Dad is able, it's gonna be able to, you know,
fix the school stuff. He's rich.

Speaker 3 (55:25):
Yeah, he's rich. Should you figure something out?

Speaker 4 (55:27):
He's got rich money.

Speaker 3 (55:29):
He can do any Yeah, And that's the end of
this story. We're going on to the next one.

Speaker 1 (55:35):
Hey, it's Keelan, your residential nerd. We're going to get
back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads
from our sponsors.

Speaker 4 (55:41):
I finally stopped chasing my father's love. Now my family's
pushing me to reconcile.

Speaker 3 (55:47):
Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 4 (55:49):
And there is a trigger warning for an argument turned physical.
I feel pretty comfortable with my decision, but with how
many times I have heard family members tell me, but
he's your father, you'll at it when he's gone, I
wanted to get an outside perspective. I am in my
late twenties, early thirties and female. By the way, this
comes from Comprehensive Day eighty four fifty six, And if

(56:10):
you want to spit your own stories, go to the
arasash Okay Storytime subreed it where this story comes from.

Speaker 3 (56:15):
And I'm Sophia, I'm Agie, and I'm Vincent with Keon
back here and we're.

Speaker 4 (56:19):
Here to give Goodvicecuogly. But we don't have all the answers.
We only know what we'd do, So let us know
what you would do. In the comment, my father has
never felt like a father to me. I have taken
care of him more than he has ever taken care
of me. My mother and father split when I was
very young, and I have only a few memories of
them being together. Growing up, he provided me with two
stepmotherlike figures. The first one, let's call her Emily, I

(56:40):
never liked, and I always felt that Emily treated me poorly.
When I was in fifth grade, I finally worked up
the courage to say something to my father. My father
immediately told Emily, and she confronted me about it with
him present. When he left, Emily looked at me with
hate in her eyes and spat out, you just want
your father's attention, you little witch. Emily my father were

(57:00):
always on and off throughout my life, and I never
really knew how long each breakup would last. Each time,
I prayed it would be for good. But now I
realized that was a mistake, because the next one was
far worse. The next one, let's call her Sarah, had
kids younger than me, though they are not major players
in the story, so I won't give them names or ages.

(57:21):
The youngest is four to five years younger than me.
I met Sarah for the first time when she came
to my house with her kids. I had a great
time with the children. However, the very first night they
stayed over, they went to bed early. As the kids
and I were watching movies downstairs, there came a banging
from upstairs. It was the loud, rhythmic thumping of a
headboard against a wall. Oh drama, No, no, no, no, man,

(57:48):
The kids asked me what was going on. I was
absolutely outraged and plucked up the courage to storm upstairs,
bang on the door, and yell at them like a
parent scolding a child. When I was in middle school,
well before he started seeing Sarah, it was just him
and me for a while. I would get to his
house before he got off work, and I would start
cleaning up after him. I spent most of my time
with my mother in middle school and was only at

(58:10):
his house every other weekend, so when I say I
was cleaning up after him, it wasn't my mess at all.
I would start a load of laundry, clean the kitchen,
and tidy the living room. After I tidied up, I
would start making dinner with the groceries my father and
I got at the grocery store the week before.

Speaker 3 (58:26):
I would keep.

Speaker 4 (58:27):
Dinner warm and have it ready for him, along with
a drink when he walked in the door. When Sarah
started staying more often, I continued my routine of cleaning
up after him, with the added annoyance of some of
Sarah's mess to clean up as well. But when Sarah's
kids started staying more, that's when I began to lose
all respect for her. I would come home in the
house would be a complete big stot. There were mountains

(58:49):
of laundry and DVD's were scattered all around the living room.
My routine of cleaning continued until one particular day when
I got home and started cleaning like normal. Sarah did
nothing to help, apart from cutting lettuce to go with
the tacos I was making. Oh, he sounds like the
other fifteen year old got two Cinderella stories.

Speaker 3 (59:06):
Here, too many Cinderella stories.

Speaker 4 (59:08):
Sarah had the audacity to say, we didn't need to
wait for my father to start eating. I told her
I was cooking, so it was my call, and if
I'm cooking, we eat when my father comes home. My
father came into the house while I was in the
basement changing the laundry. Over as I was coming back
upstairs into the kitchen. I heard Sarah taking credit for
all the cleaning and cooking I had done. When my

(59:30):
father asked if I had helped, Sarah said, well, I
guess she helped a little. I was so disgusted with
Sarah for taking credit for cleaning up a mess that
wasn't mine and was mainly hers and her kids, that
I vowed I would never do it again, and I
never did. This was the start of my loathing for Sarah.
As the years went on, Sarah and her kids stuck around,
and I became very fond of Sarah's daughter and protective

(59:52):
of her. Usually, when my father was drinking and driving,
Oh my goodness, I never said anything. But when I
was in high school we went on a family vacation.
My father I was driving on a windy, dangerous road
after drinking all day. Oh, he was being reckless while driving.
I spoke up and told him he needed to stop
because what he was doing was dangerous, even if he

(01:00:12):
hadn't been drinking all day. Sarah lost it on me,
screaming that I was.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
Ruining her vacation.

Speaker 4 (01:00:17):
On this same vacation, my father became very violent with me.
Sarah was upset with me, and My father went to
talk to me about it. What he was telling me
was hypocritical, and I let him know he had been
drinking all day, and when I tried to tell me
he was wrong, he yelled at me over something he
had defended when I had previously expressed frustration with Emily.
He became raged and it got physical. When I got home,

(01:00:38):
I packed my things and had my mother picked me
up at two am. That was the first time I
stopped talking to my father. Yeah, that's probably makes sense. Yeah,
he's like probably the best. My father is a very
manipulative person and used Sarah's daughter and my animal, which
I add at his house against me to allow him
back into my life. As life went on, I graduated

(01:00:58):
high school. My father showed up but was late and
left early. I hardly saw him at all for my birthday.
If I didn't come to him, he wouldn't make the
thirty minute drive to visit me. He would, however, make
sure to celebrate Sarah's kids' birthdays every year. When I
moved further away, it was the same situation. I would
ask if we could meet halfway, and my father always
had an excuse for why he couldn't do that every time.

(01:01:21):
It made me feel like a kid again when my
father didn't want to drive thirty minutes so I could
visit him every other weekend. My father was not good
to Sarah's kids either. When I was in college, Sarah's
daughter confided in me that my father and Sarah had
been having spicy sleep in the room next doors with
the door open and nothing to block out the sound.

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
Oh what.

Speaker 4 (01:01:43):
When Sarah's daughter confronted them, my father laughed about it,
and it happened a handful of times. I was completely
disgusted and couldn't sleep that night, thinking of what I
could say to make him stop. Later, with my hand shaking,
I confronted my father about it. My father yelled at me,
saying it was none of my business. I told him
he made it my business when he left the door open,
knowing Sarah's daughter was in the next room to why not.

(01:02:06):
She never did it again. As the years went on,
my memories with my father were more bad than good.
I had some good times at his house with my animals.
While I was younger. I still had a relationship with him,
and I tried to keep in touch, but when I
called him, he was short with me. This was especially
painful because my father is the biggest talker you've ever met.
We would stand in the grocery store as he talked

(01:02:27):
for hours. It cut deep when every time I tried
to reach out and have a relationship with him, he
would end the conversation in five minutes or less. By
this time, I really didn't want my father in my life.
When I found out he threw away all of my
childhood memorabilia that I had stored at his house, it
was the last strong I texted him, telling him I

(01:02:48):
was done and that we needed to talk. He said
he would call me when he got home from work.
My father, of course, got wasted before he called me
and was more concerned about Sarah's daughter than me, saying
I was going to cut him off. When we finally talked,
I told him I needed a few things from him
if I were to keep him in my life. I
knew he would never stop drinking, so I left that
out of my demands. I wanted him to call me

(01:03:09):
once a month, with the conversation lasting at least thirty minutes.
I wanted him to make an effort to visit me
for my birthday, even if it was just meeting me
halfway because it was heartbreaking watching him celebrate Sarah's kids
every year. Lastly, I wanted him to see me around
Christmas every other year. It seems like OPI doesn't want
to go full no contact, but it makes sense if
you did.

Speaker 3 (01:03:30):
I get that it could be complicated. I could see
Ope growing up and really reflecting and processing everything and
then deciding to go no contact. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:03:41):
I think that would probably be for the best.

Speaker 3 (01:03:43):
I mean, for your safety.

Speaker 4 (01:03:45):
Yeah, Like, this is like a pretty bad guy. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:03:48):
Do we know what's up with OPI's mom?

Speaker 4 (01:03:51):
Like, I think Ope has been living with her mom
most of the time.

Speaker 3 (01:03:55):
Oh, okay, this is just he.

Speaker 4 (01:03:56):
Just kind of has been using her steps, her and
her dog as a way to like get her to
have any type relationship with her.

Speaker 3 (01:04:05):
Is like her with him?

Speaker 4 (01:04:07):
Yeah, and so now I think she's kind of wrecking
with Like do I continue that relationship?

Speaker 3 (01:04:12):
Yeah? Well, good thing that she's not living with him anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:04:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:04:16):
When I finished, my father laughed and told me I
couldn't make demands. I told him, well, then, I don't
want you in my life. Since then, my father tried
to call me, but never tried to amend anything. He
only told others that I needed to talk to him,
to which I always replied that if they wanted to
give him my address, he could write a letter. I
have blocked him and Sarah since he sent me a

(01:04:36):
birthday letter which I sent back unopened. His only other
attempts to reach out were when I set up one
of his social media accounts and needed access to his account.
It has been about five years and he has never
sent a letter. I have had countless family members tell
me he is blood and that I will regret it
once he passes away. He's had a few accidents, and
some have suggested I reach out. I do not see

(01:04:58):
the point in reaching out, as I still do not
want him in my life and I've been happier without him.
All I can think of is how many times he
has chosen his married family over me and always been last,
and how all around toxic he is. Am I the
ale for cutting him off?

Speaker 3 (01:05:15):
Yeah? Definitely not the a hole.

Speaker 2 (01:05:16):
Ope.

Speaker 3 (01:05:17):
Everything is just like time and time again that he
mistreated you, and that you had been neglected and were
forced to take care of him. He's put you in
a lot of dangerous situations and has not even pushed
you in those dangerous situations. But he just is dangerous, yea,
towards you, and that's the end of this story.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I gave my cat back to the SHELTER... now everyone’s upset with me! -r/okstorytime | Reddit Stories | EP2658