My best friend got JEALOUS when I found love… so I walked away! -r/whatdoido | Reddit Stories | EP2656 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Riley and this is Keon, your favorite
Okay Storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming up.
But before we get to that, we have a quick
two minute break from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
My best friend got jealous when I found love, so
I walked away.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
She should go cry about it.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
My twenty three female best friend, Megan twenty four female,
and I have been friends since middle school. We always
did everything together and we were basically attached to the
hip up until this past year. By the way, this
comes from user woolu de flof and if you want
us to meet your own stories, go to the r
slash Okay Storytime suppurate it. I'm Dakoto, I'm Carly, and

(00:39):
we're here to give good adviz googly, but we don't
have all the answers to laves problems. We only know
what we would do. So if you would do some
male so some different, some new, hot and fresh, just
let us know when the comments and op says neither
of us really had boyfriends until I started dating my
now boyfriend last year. We've been together for a year
and a half and have been really great. I want

(01:01):
to clarify that I am not that type of person
that will abandon all of their friends once they start dating.
I always made sure to show that she was still
important to me by always reaching out, making plans to
hang out, treating her to meals, and bringing her gifts
whenever I was going on trips, et cetera. She overall
seemed really supportive of my relationship, but then ends up

(01:24):
admitting that she was jealous. During the first couple of months,
I thought nothing of it until things kept happening. I've
noticed she would be a little bothered when I would
text him back whenever we were hanging out, even though
I would purposefully wait to text back to not upset her.
That's weird.

Speaker 4 (01:42):
That's weird.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
Yeah, there's levels to this, because there is such a
difference from like I got a boyfriend, I dropped all
my friends and I don't hang out or talk to
them anymore, versus like I got a boyfriend and now
my time is just split differently and my friends are
mad about it.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
She and I went on a trip with our friends
who are also a couple, and during the five hour
car ride, we all did our separate things like napping
or scrolling on our phones. But we would also talk
to each other. I would be on my phone occasionally,
but I would also engage in conversation as best I
could because I didn't know the topics very well. During
a concert we went to see, I was sending my

(02:23):
boyfriend clips of the songs being played, but I would
still wait to text back, like ten or twenty minutes.
She noticed this and didn't say anything, but stopped engaging
with me during it. On our way home, she was
riding in my car and she complained about my phone
usage and how I could have been on my phone
less and talked to her more instead. It turned into
an argument, but I ended up apologizing, but I don't

(02:46):
know if I needed to. When I went to a
concert with my boyfriend, she was supposed to come with us,
but she wasn't feeling well, so she didn't go. But
I sent her clips of almost every song and photos
of the band to make her feel like she was there,
and she didn't complain about being on my phone. Then
a few weeks after this, she and I made plans
to hang out, but I needed to go get my
car checked after I got off work, so she suggested

(03:08):
if I got out too late, we would cancel and
reschedule our plans. Well, I ended up getting off an
hour late and she decided to cancel plans and reschedule.
I was a bit bummed, but I understood and said
no problem. My boyfriend and I were working at the
same place, just different departments at the time. We are
now at separate jobs. He just got on his break

(03:30):
and I decided to hang out with him for thirty
minutes since I didn't have to rush anymore. She was
asking what I was doing and where I was since
I told her I had gotten home later and was
going to the car shop. I told her I was
with my boyfriend, and she got angry and said we
had plans, but I chose to hang out with my
boyfriend instead. I tried to remind her that she canceled

(03:50):
and it turned into an argument and we didn't speak
for two weeks. The day I got promoted at my
job was when she reached out. I call my family
to tell them the good news, and I get to
one family member and they ask why I got in
a fight with Megan. I was confused since I didn't
tell them anything about what happened. Then they tell me
that Megan reached out to them and told them about

(04:11):
our fight and about the trip we went on, the
one where we both said things were good. I didn't
know how to respond, but I felt so betrayed. This
family member has been emotionally harmful to me in the
past and always has something to say, and Meghan has
witnessed it happening to me a lot. I think she
knew how to hurt me without actually getting her hands dirty.

(04:31):
Well that's fake, because her talking to that person is
her getting her hands dirty.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
Why are we friends with Meghan?

Speaker 2 (04:38):
It sounds like Megan can't handle this anymore. Megan needs
you both to be single. Yeah, And I guarantee you
she's the kind of person that if she did end
up going out with somebody, she would one hundred percent
drop you.

Speaker 3 (04:52):
You'd be so dropped.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
We ended up having a screaming match over the phone,
and I hung up and just cried for hours in
my car. Then Megan and I started texting again and
we had a very long phone call. We talked and talked,
and I ended up apologizing for a lot of things.
But why would you do that? Ope? Looking back now,
I don't know if I was truly in the wrong
on things. I then told her to never tell my

(05:16):
family about our problems ever again, and she gave a
hollow apology. We've only hung out twice since then since May.
Our last time was in July, and things have just
not been the same. She has said very snarky, shady things,
acted like nothing ever really happened between us, and she
claimed that she was never bothered by my boyfriend, but
I don't believe her. She tried to text me in August,

(05:38):
but I couldn't bring myself to respond to her because
I was dealing with my new role at my job
and couldn't really process everything that happened. Now that I've
stepped down, I was finally able to process everything and
realize I don't want her in my life anymore. There's
been too many things that have happened, and her behavior
had changed to be more possessive, jealous, and insecure. She
has her own boyfriend now when things kind of fell

(06:02):
between us, so I don't think she's had any real
time to reflect. She went from one attachment to another,
and I realize how codependent and toxic our friendship was becoming.
And I'll admit I was also not a perfect friend.
I've had my moments where I did things that were
not okay. I'm planning to reach out and tell her
everything about how she's made me feel when she gets
back from her trip, but I don't know where to

(06:23):
go after that. We haven't spoken since July, and I
don't want to ghost her for much longer. Is this
friendship even worth saving? Would rather send her a text,
but I'm being told that talking to her in person
would be better. I don't really know if this friendship
is worth saving. What would be the best way to
approach her to get my point across without making her
feel attacked? And there is an update? What is your advice, Carly?

Speaker 3 (06:46):
My advice is Megan's exhausting.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
I think you can text this dude, like.

Speaker 3 (06:52):
This is totally a text to all.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
You can at least initiate it through text, be like, hey,
so our friendship has not been the same since I
started dating. I don't know if you feel that, but
I feel that, and.

Speaker 3 (07:02):
She is going to probably immediately turn the blame. But
then you sit back and you go like, hey, no, like,
let's not just like attack each other to have a
normal conversation.

Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yeah, I just feel it's been different. Yeah, And if
she immediately gets defensive, you go, hey, I'm not trying
to say that it's all your fault and that you suck.
I'm just saying things are different, or don't you agree?
Would we like to work on getting things back to
how they were? And if she's not responsible to that,
then yeah, maybe this isn't a friendship worth saving. It
takes two up and date. Hey, everybody, thank you to

(07:36):
those who replied and gave me some new perspectives on
my friendship. It really meant a lot. So I ended
the friendship with Megan. I knew I had to break
my silence because she would keep asking people close to
me about me, and they would try to redirect her
to talk to me, but she wouldn't and said I
would just ghost her again. She also openly left every
single group chat we were in together, including ones we

(07:56):
haven't touched in years. So the exchange went like this
through text, Hey Megan, I hope you've been doing well
during all this time we haven't spoken. I know I've
ghosted you for this long and I genuinely did not
mean for it to go on as long as it has.
And I'm truly sorry for that terrible start. Not gonna lie.
When you are ready and feel comfortable, we will absolutely

(08:17):
have a talk about everything that's happened between us. Meghan
responded by asking, Hey, so why did you ghost me
in the first place. See, that's what I mean by
that was bad. That's bad opening because you were like,
I'm sorry I ghosted you and I really didn't mean to.
Instead of that, you should just be like, hey, we've
got a problem, right, we should address that.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
Right.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
I would like to address it and maybe fix it.
Do you agree? I don't know, and I don't really
care because you broke off this friendship with Megan anyway.
I explained that I didn't intend to ghost you at all,
but the truth is that our friendship was becoming emotionally
heavy for me and I needed some space to process
things on my own. I'm completely open to talking calmly
about everything when you're ready to have that conversation. Megan

(08:57):
then said that she honestly doesn't know when or if
she'll ever be ready to talk with me about any
of this. She's had months to move on from our friendship,
and she took the silence between us as a clear
indication of where our friendship actually stood. Immature baby baby brained.
I said, Okay, I understand and respect that I wish
you the best in everything moving forward, God speed. And
this happened two days ago, and I haven't heard from

(09:19):
her since. My friend had pointed out that she completely
glossed over the fact that I said our friendship became
emotionally heavy and went straight to trying to take control
of the situation by setting an undecided timeline on when
she wanted to talk with me. Yeah, your friend.

Speaker 3 (09:31):
Sucks, Yeah she sucks, and yeah she'll grow up. She'll
probably realize, But I don't think there's any going back
to this.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
She might, she might not. Any friend that cared would
have at least tried to reach out again exactly and
ask if things were okay or why was I not
speaking to her, And she didn't do that. She went
straight to repainting the scenario in which I was at fault.
So I'm confident that I made the right decision, and
I don't even feel sad. I think I grieved our

(10:00):
friendship back in May when she betrayed my trust, and
since then I've done nothing but reflect on her behavior
and actions. This past year. Now I can wash my
hands of her and not take her along with me
in the new year.

Speaker 3 (10:13):
Huzza.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
And that's the end of that story. And to that,
I say, huzza, huzza.

Speaker 3 (10:19):
Yeah, there's really nothing else to that, Like, you did
what you had to do, and yeah, that was really
the only outcome I saw from the beginning.

Speaker 5 (10:27):
And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go
on to the next one.

Speaker 3 (10:30):
My friends held a secret intervention about me, and I
wasn't allowed to prepare.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
I mean, I think that's how interventions work.

Speaker 3 (10:38):
I twenty one female, am a college student along with
my friends Amber twenty one female, Bailey twenty one female,
Cleo twenty two female, and Daisy twenty three female. Final
season recently ended for us, and to celebrate, my friends
and I went drinking together. I probably got the most
wasted I've ever been, which is to say I threw

(11:01):
up once and had a mild hangover when.

Speaker 4 (11:03):
I woke up.

Speaker 3 (11:04):
By the way, this comes from wide Egg eighty two
fifty nine. And if you want us to make your
own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
I'm Carlon, I'm and I want to know why that
egg is so wide.

Speaker 4 (11:16):
And we're here to give good advice.

Speaker 3 (11:17):
Goofully, but we don't have all the answers. We only
know what we would do, which is debate egg sizes.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
Big old eggs.

Speaker 3 (11:24):
So let us know what you would do in the comments,
and Op says my experience with Booze is still limited.
It was a great time and I left for my
dorm late and didn't wake up till the next morning.
When I got up, I saw that I had been
sent a text by Cleo that the group.

Speaker 4 (11:40):
Needed to talk to me.

Speaker 3 (11:42):
Pretty understandably, I started to freak out, but she wouldn't
give me any information as to what happened or what
I did. I replied to her and flat out refused
to walk into a room with four upset people to
be confronted about God knows what. This caused the group
to send Leo to my dorm to talk to me.

(12:03):
After sobbing for an hour and a half, Cleo eventually
coaxes me to talk to the rest of them. To
their credit, it was a calm and civil conversation, but
I could tell they were upset. They had all immediately
jumped to the worst conclusions about everything. Conversation had four

(12:25):
main topics, ranging from two months ago to yesterday. When
they happened. A store I loved had recently opened in
our city, so I was ecstatic to go. In my excitement,
I failed to recognize my friend wasn't doing too well
and was having a panic attack, and I brought her
in with me.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
I'm sorry, but this is the most gen Z nonsense ever.
It's like, it's not your responsibility to be able to
identify your friend having a panic attack, and then what
like what you last owed her and dragged her into
a store.

Speaker 3 (12:59):
I was so into it, I kept asking her to
hold stuff and help me look at prices to know
if I was getting a good deal.

Speaker 4 (13:05):
Et cetera.

Speaker 3 (13:06):
I absolutely could have paid more attention, but I was
checking in with her verbally by asking if she wanted
to leave. Multiple times she kept saying no, So I
wrongfully assumed she was fine and was just quiet.

Speaker 2 (13:19):
What the hell do you mean you wrongfully assumed she
was fine. She was telling you to your face she
didn't want to leave. That's not an assumption. Your friends
are so I know who they are, and they're so exhausting,
and I want you to waste no more time apologizing
for any of their nonsense.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
Potentially mildly overstimulated from the crowd, but not so much
to be an issue. One of these came from a
person who literally wasn't even there. I had been grudgingly
agreed to help the non present friend out with a
film project at two am the night before it was due.
I was trying to get out of it because I
was busy, but he seemed desperate. He and I agreed

(14:01):
he'd only need me for a few scenes and we
could film later. We never agreed on an exact time,
just some time in the afternoon. The next morning, I
woke up late from studying and scrambled to get back
to work. In my urgency, I didn't realize my phone
was on silent and I had my headphones in. They
tried to call me, but since my phone is old
and wonky, it's not reliable about giving me miscall notifications,

(14:24):
and I was expecting a text. They apparently also sent
another friend to go knock on my door, which I
sincerely missed and don't even know how. I never received
a text, and since we didn't set a time, I
wasn't sure when to say anything. When I didn't get
a message, I thought maybe he had found someone else.
I also take blame here for not taking action when

(14:46):
things started to look suspicious. I should have checked in,
but I was completely distracted by my own work. Also,
fortunately he had found someone else. Everything ended okay.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
Here.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
Two of them felt I was purpose excluding them from
hangouts and such. It's true I wasn't reaching out to
them as much as the other two, but it was
because I was nervous about asking them to. I was
afraid I'd be bothering them or they didn't want me there,
and they had so many inside jokes between them, I
felt like a third wheel. They had also showed me

(15:18):
away from them during an event not too long ago,
so I mistook that as a sign for space. Lastly,
they wanted me to be more communicative about when I
was feeling anxious ironic I know, and when that might
interfere with plans, which I get. However, the problem I
have with this being brought up is because the most

(15:38):
recent example of this was two months ago, and we
already talked about this then. We haven't had anything like
it happened since. While I walked out of the conversation calmly,
and they all thought it went well. Later that evening,
I felt like that had been conducted really poorly. It
seemed as if I was on trial for everyone to
judge my sins regards wordless of if they were involved

(16:01):
with the problem or not. There was also the fact
that so many had waited months to talk to me
about it, when all of these were relatively minor miscommunications.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
Yeah, it's because your friends are exhausting, That's what it is.

Speaker 3 (16:16):
I can understand being more anxious just because of how
they're behaving.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
Yeah, anyone who's like I had a panic attack but
you didn't notice or care. It's like, well, that's funny,
because I asked you if you wanted to leave, and
if you were okay and you said no, we can
say it's fine.

Speaker 5 (16:33):
Hello.

Speaker 3 (16:34):
They talked to literally everyone else besides me about these problems. Lastly,
I felt like none of them trusted me because they
all had the worst ideas about me in their heads.
They assumed I had the worst motives behind everything. That
simply isn't true. After the events of that talk, I
felt like everyone had been lying to me by abmission

(16:55):
and secretly holding grudges. And gossiping about me. So I
sent out a text to asking for space for a
couple weeks over winter break, telling them I still cared
about them, but that they hurt me. I made it
clear I wasn't ditching them or cutting them off. I
had Cleo text me in a panic over this, and
since I was angry and hurting, I told her I

(17:15):
didn't want to talk, but I talked to my boyfriend
and he convinced me I should give her another chance.
She is about to transfer to a new school and
she was always the nicest to me as well. I
texted her the next day, offering to talk before I
left campus, but she left me on red. Since then,
I've been booted from one of our group chats on

(17:36):
a social media platform. All in all, I'm just very
confused and lost about this whole situation. I know there
certainly were times I could have acted better, and the
reasons they were upset were good ones. I could also
see maybe asking for space was a bit much, but
I guess I just don't understand why they went about
it like that, and why they took me asking for

(17:58):
space so badly. It had me questioning whether or not
I want to be friends with these people to begin with,
how do I handle this?

Speaker 5 (18:06):
Edit?

Speaker 3 (18:07):
I am adhd For those wondering, I realize now it
could have been a factor here. Comments Comment one. To me,
it sounds like there's a long history of some sorts
that is missing here. From all that I'm reading between
the lines, it could be either you being a self
centered drama queen or them being a toxic friend circle,
or something in between. Obviously you're not good for each other,

(18:30):
and as Cleo moves away, maybe it's a good time
to reorient yourself. But whatever you do, try to reflect
on yourself. There's always something to improve in yourself, and
if it's just how to handle and detect those situations
in the future.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
Yeah, I mean that's not bad advice. There is always
the self improvement journey never ends, right, That's the whole point.
Don't strive for perfection, but just strive to be a
little bit better than you were yesterday.

Speaker 3 (18:59):
Comment to well, first, I think your friends were going
to do an intervention, talk to you about a problem
or regular use or something like that. Making a group
meeting to discuss their grudges with you together seems really weird.
I mean, the grudges seems to be a small problem
and totally independent with each other. The kind of things
they could and should have talked with you about privately.

(19:21):
Comment to three, you were obviously the odd man out
of this group, especially at your age. Everyone has self
absorbed behaviors that they need to stamp out. Nothing unusual there.
All of these issues should have been dealt with at
the time they happened by the individuals who felt offended.
They took no responsibility for their lack of communication in
the friendship, but are happy to band together to browbeat you.

(19:45):
I take space and evaluate if you want to preserve
relationships with any of them individually. After you've had time
to think on it. The friend group dynamic is over.

Speaker 2 (19:54):
Though.

Speaker 3 (19:55):
This is toxic, mean girl stuff. I'm at four. This
friend group sounds exhausting, petty, and dramatic. It's wild that
they expect you to be a mind reader when communication
is lacking on both ends. When you point blank ask
someone if they want to leave and they say no,
but you're the bad guy. I would take space as well.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
Exhaust exhausting, petty, immature.

Speaker 3 (20:19):
Good advice, though, to feel out if there's any of
them individually that you think are fine outside of the group,
and maybe eventually they'd also distance themselves. But I think
that's like also kind of pushing it, like you don't
even need to do that. Come at five, right, So
to begin, I'd say start with thinking everyone's feelings are valid,
regardless of the framework or any possible misunderstandings on either

(20:41):
side of discussion. Everyone has their own feelings to process
and those are valid. Yours seems to tell you to
reevaluate the friendship, which I understand seems from your point
of view, a lot of confusing things happened at once
and you were blind sided by people you expected not
to them. Talking it out with the each other first
also adds to the feeling of being excluded from the group.

(21:03):
And being booted from a group chat for whatever reason
obviously also does and my middle aged lady advice to
you would be only handle your own feelings.

Speaker 2 (21:14):
Now.

Speaker 3 (21:14):
It seems to me you are understandably trying to also
manage the other people's feelings, but they are adults and
their feelings are theirs to handle. My suggestion is taking
the space you need and evaluate if these friendships are
net positive, neutral, or net negative for you. And act accordingly.
If you choose to end the friendship, you can either

(21:35):
let the group know or just peace out, whichever is
the most comfortable to you. It's okay to forgive them
for handling the situation poorly and continue the friendship, and
equally okay to feel this is too much and step
away from the friendship. Don't worry, you are in no
hurry to think it through. Take all the time you
need focus on yourself and your emotional well being. That's

(21:57):
the end of that story.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
I think that was some good middle age the advice.
And as you yourself grow more and become closer to
a middle aged lady.

Speaker 5 (22:07):
on to the next one.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
I offered my friend a three hundred and fifty dollars
concert ticket and she hasn't spoken to me since.

Speaker 3 (22:16):
For free or four three hundred fift dollars.

Speaker 2 (22:19):
I have a friend who likes the same band that
I like, and this band has always been my absolute favorite.
I have seen this band many times over the years,
both alone and with other people, and their music has
meant a lot to me for a long time. By
the way, this comes from user mundane gap nine three
five six, and if you want to set your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay story time subvert it.
I'm Dakota, I'm Karly, and we're here to give good

(22:41):
about Scooby. But we don't have all the answers to
live problems. We only know what we know, So if
you know more than we know, let us know in
the comments. She, on the other hand, has never gone
to see them play live, and she has always said
it's because she can't afford it. Tickets for this band
are extremely expensive and usually cost several hundred dollars. Even so,
she regularly spends money on other activities and lifestyle choices

(23:03):
that are not exactly inexpensive. Recently, it was announced that
the band was retiring from touring and that there were
only a few concerts left. Knowing how much I loved
this band and how rare this opportunity would be, I
managed to get tickets for the final show. When I
told her about it, I also told her that I
would love for her to have one of the tickets
so that we could go together and experience it side

(23:26):
by side. I knew from the start that she would
not be able to afford the cost of her ticket,
so I proposed an exchange. Instead of asking for money,
I offered to give her the ticket if she would
drive my teen daughter to work and back over the summer.
The place of work is about a twenty minute drive
away from us, and at most there would have been
two to three days a week where my daughter would

(23:48):
need a ride. This arrangement would only be temporary and
would last for the summer months. In addition, her son
works at the same place, so she would basically just
be taking an extra passenger for the ride. She would
already be making the drive with her own son, and
my daughter would simply be riding along in the same car.
Her husband also does the driving much of the time anyway,

(24:10):
so in reality, this would not have required a significant
change to their routine. All things considered, it really didn't
seem like a huge inconvenience for her. The ticket for
this event was several hundred dollars, and given the cost
and rarity of the show, I thought this was more
than a fair trade. In the past, we had taken
turns driving the kids back and forth to different places,

(24:31):
so this arrangement would simply mean that she or her
husband would be doing the driving instead of us alternating
as we had done before. Now some background is necessary
to explain what happened next. Our son and daughter have
known each other ever since preschool and they have been
best friends for years. They go to the same high school.
They spend a lot of time together and have grown

(24:52):
up alongside one another. Eventually, they decided to date. After
dating for about three months, unfortunately, they broke up. There
was some bad blood afterward, and it became clear that
they probably should have just stayed friends because the romantic
relationship did not work out. Because of this breakup, my
friend told me that she shouldn't go through with our

(25:12):
original deal anymore. Her son didn't want to be in
the same car as my daughter. There were clearly some
hurt feelings involved between the kids, and emotions were still raw.
I don't really know exactly what happened between them, because
my daughter did not give me many details. From what
I could tell, it seemed like a fairly normal breakup
with some lingering hurt feelings. I was willing to go

(25:34):
through with the deal anyway, and my daughter was also
willing to do it. However, my friend's son did not
want to participate, so the agreement was off. In other words,
my friend would no longer be driving my daughter to
and from work as we had originally agreed.

Speaker 3 (25:47):
Ooh, did you take the ticket away?

Speaker 2 (25:49):
Though?

Speaker 4 (25:49):
Because of that.

Speaker 2 (25:51):
We both understood that this meant I would not be
giving her the ticket.

Speaker 4 (25:55):
What are your thoughts on that it's not really.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
Her fault that her son is like? No, I don't
want to have to ride with my ex girlfriend every
day at and I'm a teenager.

Speaker 3 (26:06):
And I feel like at that point too, we don't
expect her to drive your daughter anymore.

Speaker 2 (26:13):
I told her that I wished it had worked out,
and that I still would really like for her to
be able to see the show. I did not say
this out loud, but I privately thought that if I
were in her position, I would have encouraged my son
to suck it up and get in the car for
those rides. Her son and my daughter did not need
to chat or interact at all, and he would only
have to endure a few short car rides. It did

(26:34):
not seem like too much to ask so that his
mom could see one of her favorite bands in person.

Speaker 3 (26:39):
That's not their fault that you took the ticket away right, like,
she can still go see that band in.

Speaker 2 (26:45):
Person, you have the ticket still Still, I understood that
she was choosing to prioritize her son's comfort, and I
respected that. I wasn't angry with her for breaking our agreement,
and I could understand why she made that decision, even
though I thought it was unnecessary. Fast forward a few
months and the show was getting closer. I mentioned again
that I wished she could go to the show, and

(27:07):
she asked how much the ticket cost. I had never
told her the price before, so I told her it
was three hundred and fifty. She immediately said that in
a million years she would never be able to spend
that much money on a ticket. I told her I
understood completely. Neither of us was upset, and it felt
like one of those situations where it was just unfortunate

(27:29):
that it didn't work out. I've seen this band many
times over the years, both by myself and with other people.
This time, I had actually bought the second ticket, originally
because I knew tickets would be scarce and thought I
might be able to sell it. This was before I
ever made the deal with my friend. Since she was
no longer going to use the ticket. I put it
up for sale. However, I ran into problems selling the

(27:50):
ticket because of a glitch in the ticketing system. I
ended up spending about four hours on hold with live
Chat trying to get the issue resolved. The day before
the show, I told my friend I was trying to
sell the ticket but was having trouble because of the glitch.
I was afraid the ticket would go to waste, so
I told her that if I couldn't sell the ticket
by next afternoon, she could have the ticket for free.
She agreed to this. You're just moving so weird about this.

(28:14):
If this is your friend and she loves that band,
and you want to go to the show with somebody,
just freaking bring your friend who cares that she didn't
take your daughter to school.

Speaker 3 (28:23):
If you're going to potentially lose the money anyway, like
happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, Happy birthday next year, here's the ticket.

Speaker 2 (28:29):
Yeah, whatever. More background here. My daughter and I have
enjoyed going to other concerts together lately. Even though she
is a teenager and often busy with her friends, mom
time does not come easily at this stage of her life.
Over the years, I've always asked her if she wanted
to go see this band with me, and she has
always said no because she wasn't interested in them. This time,

(28:50):
after my conversation with my friend, I asked her again
the day before the show. After the conversation with your friend,
that's weird, Oh the ticket to your daughter, I reminded
her that the band was retiring from touring and that
this would be the last possible chance she would ever
have to see my favorite band with me. To my surprise,

(29:11):
this time, she said yes. She agreed to go to
the show with me, and we made plans together. We
ended up having an amazing time and it was one
of the most memorable experiences we ever have shared. About
two hours after I told my friend that she could
have the ticket if I couldn't sell it, I texted
her and explained that my daughter had decided to go
with me instead. I expected her to respond with something

(29:34):
like Okay, that sounds great, have a wonderful time together. Instead,
she never responded and has not spoken to me since. Yeah, Op,
you seem a little oblivious.

Speaker 3 (29:45):
I don't know what it is like. There seems like
selight intention behind it somehow, but I'm hoping that it's
just you're absolutely oblivious.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
In my mind, saying I would give her the ticket
if I couldn't sell it didn't mean that there were
no other possible circums answers that could change that outcome.
You're just self centric, dude, That's all it is. Op continues.
What I should have said more clearly was that if
I could not find the ticket a home by the
next afternoon, then she could have it.

Speaker 3 (30:13):
No, if you're gonna give it to anyone for free,
you should have given it to the friend for free.

Speaker 2 (30:18):
That would have been just as bad. You're like, by
the way, you are my absolute last choice to give
this ticket to. If there's literally no one else on
earth I can find to take it, I guess you
can have it for free. Yeah, i'd be I'd feel
so disrespected. That's what this is more than anything. It's like, wow, okay,
say no more. I never guaranteed it to her, and

(30:41):
I never made a firm promise. You actually did do
the second one. The second one you did. Actually it
wasn't a guarantee because you're like, if I sell it,
it's gone. But you did promise her. You're like, if
I don't sell it, it's yours. And you didn't sell it,
so you broke your promise. We had not made dinner plans,
transportation plans, or any other arrangements. If we had kept

(31:03):
our original deal where she drove my daughter to work,
then I would have given her the ticket without question,
and giving it to my daughter would not have been
an option at all. That original agreement was a true exchange.
This situation would have been a complete gift of a
three hundred and fifty dollars ticket, with no obligation involved.
I did not mean to imply that selling the ticket
was the only possible way someone else might end up

(31:24):
with it. Oh shut up. Just as I was not
annoyed with her for breaking our original deal, I didn't
expect her to be upset with me for not giving
her an expensive ticket for free. At most, she thought
she might be going to the show for about two hours.
It was not like it was an hour before the
concert and she was dressed and ready to go. It
was the day before the show. If she considered this

(31:46):
a hard and fast promise, then why does she think
she has more right to be angry with me than
I had to be upset with her earlier. You cannot
have it both ways, and you also just completely assumed
that you have no idea if that's what she thinks.
So that's the story. It has been almost two weeks
and she did not respond to a couple of texts
or a phone call. I couldn't even figure out what

(32:07):
was wrong until I started wondering if she was actually
angry about the ticket. This is a perfect example of
somebody who just refuses to accept any level of accountability
for themselves, like emotionally, like maybe this person is very
accountable financially, or like in other ways, we would really
tell you that they were. Yeah, but like to be

(32:28):
so oblivious is to not immediately be like, ooh, when
I tell my friend this, they're probably gonna be mad
because I just promised them if I don't sell it,
they could have it. Update. She has now not spoken
to me for a year and.

Speaker 4 (32:42):
A half, good time jump.

Speaker 2 (32:45):
And I have not seen her at all. Our kids
still go to the same school and have since resumed
being friends, though not close friends. Yeah, dummy, because they
dated and broke up, that's going to change things forever.
I still wonder if I was wrong, which is why
I'm finally sharing it now. Okay, Yeah, you were wrong, dude,

(33:06):
So what you should have done is called him and like, hey,
I gotta tell you something.

Speaker 3 (33:10):
I messed up.

Speaker 2 (33:11):
I messed up.

Speaker 3 (33:11):
I really messed up.

Speaker 5 (33:13):
on to the next one.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
Hey, this is Riley, your favorite Southern belle. We're gonna
get back to these stories. But here's three minutes worth
of ads form our sponsors. My sister kept forcing me
to babysit, so I took her kids to her workplace.

Speaker 4 (33:29):
I'm just gonna drop them off at your place.

Speaker 2 (33:31):
For some background, I am a miner and my sister,
who we could call Sandra thirty eight, has three kids,
Alexa twenty who just had a baby girl, and her
other two kids, L sixteen and K nine. By the way,
this comes from user doodle me Bob, and if you
want to submit your own stories, go to the art
slash Showcase Storytime subreddit. My name's Dakota, I'm Angie, and

(33:53):
we're here to give you good advice. Goofley, But we're
just a couple of goofballs who don't know anything else
but it being goofy, so we don't know everything. If
you would do something different. Just let us know in
the comments. A small thing to remember is that I
do not like kids. I do not know. Ever since
I was small, I was basically a free babysitter for
my sister's children. Growing up, watching them struggle and work
extra hours to support their kids just made me want

(34:15):
to be nothing like them. Don't get me wrong, I
love my sisters and I would do anything for them.
A couple of months ago, Alexa and Kay, along with
the baby, came to spend the day, which turned into
them staying three days because of a power outage. I
had no problem with this until the second day, when
my classes for the next day were canceled that evening.
Since I had no classes, my mom and I spent

(34:37):
the whole day baking for them until around one a
m Alexa and I had a huge argument, which, in
my opinion, was very uncalled for. The fight was basically
about how Kay was constantly waking me up to make
him something to eat, while his fully capable adult sister
was right over in my room laying down and chatting
away with her friends about some friendship drama. After the

(34:59):
fight at my house, there was another smallish ordeal that
took place on my mother's birthday. That resulted in me
going low to no contact with them for a while.
I do not want to bore y'all with too many details. AnyWho,
fast forward to four days ago. My mom and I
agreed to watch Kay for one day, and obviously history
repeats itself and he stayed for more than the agreed time. This,

(35:21):
without a doubt, made me really mad. I mean, come on,
says op, who wants to spend their winter or break
watching a needy child who acts like the word no
is a stab to the heart. Certainly not me. Another
reason I was pissed off was because this would be
the first Christmas without my late dad, and his passing
anniversary was the twenty first of this month. On the twentieth,

(35:41):
when I realized she was not coming to pick him up,
I started to panic. I called Sandra about five times
to remind her I had some plans planned for the
next day. She responded, reassuring me that she would pick
him up after work at five pm. Five pm came
and went, and it was now six pm. I called
Sandra once again, but this time I go I got
no answer. I was distraught, completely breaking down into sobs,

(36:04):
but it is kind of hard to cry when a
kid is right outside your door. At seven pm, my
mom called Sandra's phone and they said they were five
minutes away and told us to come outside. Long story short,
Kay did not leave that night, and my plans were
canceled so I could watch him once again. On Saturday,
I spent the whole day cleaning and babysitting instead of
visiting my dad's grave and eating his favorite foods. Of course,

(36:26):
I was angry the whole day and did not eat,
talk or nothing. Around six pm, my mom came home
after work with some food and tried talking to me,
but I was not in the mood, obviously, but she
did not back down. I just couldn't hold it anymore
and I melted into her arms, sobbing, telling her that
I think Sandra is being unfair. Seems like she forgot
about the plans I had made for the passing anniversary,

(36:48):
and she too became angry at Sandra side note, my
mom has a brain tumor and it causes her to
forget things from time to time. I am not really
mad at her, but I still am hurt that she
agreed to letting kay I stay longer than planned. I
should have spoken up right there, but I did not
want to seem selfish. Plus, she said Sandra would pick
him up at six in the morning. My mom called
Sandra and yelled at her for a good ten minutes

(37:10):
before Sandra could even get a word in. Sandra said
that she would pick him up at the next day
since it was already late, and my mom said, okay,
but I didn't like that deal, and honestly I had
enough go around. Midday today, I told Kay to pack
up his things and get ready with me to get
ice cream. We took a car, got some ice cream
because I was going to get some anyway, and we
went to Sandra's workplace. I said hello to Edward at

(37:31):
the door. We headed up to her floor and good
thing she was not at her desk at the time.
I told Kay to have a seat and I dipped.

Speaker 4 (37:39):
That would be a crazy surprise at work. You go
up to go to the bathroom, you come back to
your child is there.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
I want to say this was a cool guy move,
but really this was a big a hole move on
your part. Man. I turned off my phone and I'm
currently at home eating beef roty and to have two
large pizzas on standby. I know for certain that the
stunt I pulled is going to cause more tension, and
I honestly do not care screw them. But should I
have just waited? Am I the A hole? Or were
my actions justified? We have some comments Comment one. I

(38:06):
started off thinking that was a bit of a nuclear
response to someone simply not answering their phone, but by
the time I got to the end, it was quite
clear that Sandra is deliberately taking advantage. So not the
A hole for finally making it clear that you're not
putting up with this anymore, and not the A hole
for finding a way to do it that will have
been awkward and embarrassing for her but perfectly safe for
k Good job. No notes comment to just start leaving

(38:29):
when she drops the kid off. You are never available.
Tell your mom you will never help her babysit again,
so if she takes the kid, she is responsible for him.
I bet if mom called to say, come get your
kid because I'm going to work, the kid would get
picked up. Opie says, I did this with my other
sister who has six kids and wanted me to watch
three of them for five days because the oldest one,
who's seventeen, had to leave the country for football. The

(38:51):
three kids are all under four. I told my mom
I didn't want to watch them because I wasn't in
the mood. When my mom called to tell her I
didn't want to watch them, she got angry at me
instead of few degrading words and hung up. Haven't spoken
to her since. I haven't spoken to her since. Oh
you one, big time, Opie says, Yeah, it felt like
a huge victory for finally standing up for myself. Comment
three says you just dropped a kid off without letting

(39:12):
your sister know or letting the kid know you were leaving.
Not right. Could have been handled better. Address the plan
with your sister ahead of time or at the moment,
not when you are overly emotional, Although you say minor,
just curious about your actual age and why you watched
the nephew instead of his sixteen year old sister. Sorry
about your mom and sorry for the situation, Opie says,
I know, I know. I'm fifteen. I replied to other

(39:36):
comments basically saying that Elle and k fight a lot
because of Kay's selfish ways. K is nine, Alexa is twenty.
The eldest and me and her were close for a
while before she had the baby, which is a whole
other fed up situation involving the cops and the arrest
of the baby's father. Sandra used to do the same
thing with Alexa when she was younger, just like me,

(39:57):
leave Kay and Elle at home with Alexa for hours
on end caused Alexa a lot of stress and she
started to act out and stuff like that. I don't
want to go into all the sad details, and there
is an update. Honestly at this point, I'm just I
just really want to see what the response was to
you leaving that kid there. Yeah, me too, I am
a minor of fifteen years. I can't call CPS because
my mom would also get into trouble because I was

(40:18):
home alone with her. Now for the update. A while ago,
my mom came home and guess who she was with,
Sandra and k Sandra wasted no time arguing with me.
She called me sick in the head and psychotic for
leaving the house to drop her son off after promising
to come for him at six in the morning. She
told me I need to stay in a child's place
and that I am not the adult in this situation.

(40:39):
I told her I'm not watching her annoying son anymore.
Ever since the fight with Alexa, they've been running their
mouths about me for absolutely nothing. The thing that really
hurt me is my mom agreed again to have k
stay the night because she was staying home and Sandra
is going out. I honestly started crying in frustration because
I can never get any peace in my life. Honestly.

(41:00):
You know, again, you're fifteen living at home and that's
your mom's grandson. Your mom's gonna have that child stay
at your house.

Speaker 4 (41:09):
In Ope's defense, the sister is saying, like, you're fifteen,
you're not an adult in this situation. Then it's like, well,
then why are you leaving me in charge of your kid?

Speaker 2 (41:18):
Right? That's like the oxymoron of like, yeah, you have
no authority to speak. It's like, well, it's funny you
would give your child to someone with no authority, right,
think for themselves?

Speaker 3 (41:29):
Right?

Speaker 2 (41:29):
But you did do that was a mistake.

Speaker 4 (41:31):
Yeah, you definitely shouldn't have done that.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Now Kay is on the couch because my mom said
she is watching him. I am not leaving my room. Simple.
I'm not sure if this is appropriate to say. But
someone commented and said, why did you not take Kay
with you to my father's grave? And that really pissed
me off. Let me tell you why I would never
ever do this. Once, when Sandra and everyone were over,
Kay said to my face, that is why your dad

(41:55):
passed away and Sandra did nothing about it. I've decided
to not talk to Sandra anymore, and I blocked her
and everyone else. I'm going to try to get through
this without being angered at the site of k Thanks
for your support, Happy holidays, and that is the end
of that story.

Speaker 4 (42:10):
Well, it really was a like everyone sucks here in
kind of story.

Speaker 3 (42:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (42:14):
I mean you had the high ground until you abandoned
the nine year old at a place where theoretically they're fine.
But it's like, yeah, man, that's I don't know that
I'd be so upset because it's the kind of thing.

Speaker 4 (42:27):
It's like, you know, if you want to do something
that proves to her like, no, I am still a minor,
I'm only fifteen. I do not deserve to like I'm
not responsible enough to be taken care of your child.
You can I understand the desire to do something that
proves that and you did. But the thing is, though,

(42:47):
is that you've got a child in the.

Speaker 2 (42:49):
Mix of it. You know, Yeah, it's the kid man. Yeah,
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (42:54):
You're using them as like a not a liability, it's
like a casualty.

Speaker 2 (42:58):
At least she didn't, like, you know, drop him off
at the gas station and be like, yeah, he's on
the corner of third and Pine Street.

Speaker 4 (43:06):
Would have been terrible.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
Yeah, that's uh.

Speaker 4 (43:08):
It probably is gonna cause problems for that girl at
work too. I'm forgetting my sister's name, Sandra.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
Yeah that was Yeah, that was your name.

Speaker 4 (43:16):
Yeah, I'm forgetting like that. Can you imagine being the boss.
What if the boss saw the kid first and he's like, hey, Sandra,
you're smaller now.

Speaker 2 (43:24):
Oh my god, she hates your reverse Yeah, and she
changed genders.

Speaker 5 (43:29):
on to the next one.

Speaker 1 (43:32):
Hey, it's Keelan, your residential NERD. We're going to get
back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads
from our sponsors.

Speaker 4 (43:39):
My parents enabled my sister's behavior for years and act
stunned by the truth.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
All I know is that the truth will set you
free and trigger warning of false accusations and family dysfunction.

Speaker 4 (43:50):
I forty five mail am embroiled in family drama that
has been simmering for decades. About a week and a
half ago, I was in a pretty bad car accident.
I underwent final surgery and have been recovering nicely while
on a wonderful cocktail of medically preserribed substances. The accident
itself isn't important, but I think the medications may have
affected how I responded to everything that followed.

Speaker 2 (44:12):
By the way, this.

Speaker 4 (44:13):
Comes from due membership thirty four to oh four and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay storytime Separated and I'm Angie, I'm Dakota,
and we are here to give good advice goofily, but
we don't have all the answers which know we would
do in this situation, so let us know what you
do in the comments. I'm the oldest of three with
two younger sisters, Karen forty two female and Katie thirty

(44:33):
nine female. Katie and I have always gotten along fairly well,
but my relationship with Karen has been strained pretty much
from the beginning. I said, this has been simmering for decades.
So let's start at the beginning. My parents said, I
was always a loving and attentive big brother when we
were little, but that all changed on one Saturday afternoon
when Katie was only a few months old.

Speaker 2 (44:55):
Oh, we're going.

Speaker 4 (44:56):
Way back at the beginning.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
What did this baby do? Oh it's Karen, that is
the issue. Yep. But maybe the baby started.

Speaker 4 (45:04):
Maybe it was the baby's fall all along.

Speaker 2 (45:06):
The baby said, oh, yeah, the baby.

Speaker 4 (45:09):
Was rage baiting at a few months old.

Speaker 2 (45:11):
The baby insticated this. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (45:13):
My dad was out and my mom was catching up
on laundry in the basement. Katie was snapping in her
crib in my parents' room, and I was rummaging for
snacks in the kitchen. As I returned to my spot
in front of the living room TV, I saw Karen
standing at the top of the steps holding Katie. Then
she threw her Oh my god, oh oh, just a

(45:35):
few years old at that point, Karen is like three.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
At this point, there's three. The baby's brand new.

Speaker 4 (45:41):
Baby's brand new three year old through the baby. How's
the three old even stroyingo to hold a baby? First
of all?

Speaker 2 (45:45):
Okay, clearly three year old's like I don't want this
thing around. Oh my god, but the baby's okay. The
baby's okay, the baby's okay.

Speaker 4 (45:53):
Let's find out. I didn't think. I just reacted. I
dropped my bowl of popcorn, ran and dove. I must
have had an angel on my side, because the catch
was immaculate. Yes, I know this sounds so cartoonishly evil
that it's hard to believe. I wouldn't believe it either
if I hadn't lived it. Years later, Katie would confide
in me that she knew exactly what Karen was doing.

(46:15):
The baby cried and my mom came rushing in. Karen
smiled and said that I had taken the baby because
I wanted to play with her. Before I could say anything,
I was punished for spilling popcorn and waking my sister.
After that, most of my childhood memories seem fairly typical
for someone who grew up in the eighties and nineties.
What stands out is that Karen's responses were almost never proportionate.

(46:40):
I thought this was how kids learned how to human.
She thought this is how kids learned how to shank.
For example, she would demand that I drive her somewhere.
I would say, no, and then my tires would be flattened.
I would be at baseball practice she'd walk to the
outfield fence and yell that my grandma passed away. This
is actually how I learned of my paternal's grandmother's passing.
My parents always told me to stop antagonizing her, or

(47:03):
they would make excuses for her behavior stress simpling, rivalry,
medication side effects, traumatic head injury, and so on. I
tried not to let it get to me and became
more self sufficient and distant. I spent a lot of
time in the woods at friends' houses, or sequestered in
my room when I was home. And I graduated, I
moved out and largely forgot about the more psychotic behavior
of my sister, though my dad would fill me in

(47:24):
on the crazier stories during our weekly cause. There was
the time that Karen attacked Katie in a grocery store.
Karen was the aggressor, than she called the police herself.
After taking statements and looking at the injuries, the officers
arrested Karen. My parents let her sit in lock up
for the entire weekend, hoping she would learn her lesson. Spoiler,

(47:45):
it did not. Around this time, she became mom to
a special needs child. I was living two hours away
at the time, so I do not know everything that.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
She was doing.

Speaker 4 (47:53):
What I was told is that she had a habit
of dropping her child off with relatives and then disappearing
for days at a time. One of my family insists
that it was not substance related. What I do know
is that one day, she and the baby's father showed
up at my door with my nephew, barged inside, dropped
the child, and ran off while my back was turned.
Calls and texts were ignored. I should have called child

(48:15):
protective Services, but my parents told me not to.

Speaker 2 (48:17):
Again the failing parents, failing to recognize the severity of
the situation.

Speaker 4 (48:22):
They said, if Karen didn't come back by Monday morning,
they would pick up my nephew for thirty six hours.
I did my best to care for a nonverbal, special
needs toddler. It completely boggled my mind that someone could
abandon their own child, even just for a few days.
This pattern continued until her second child graduated high school
last year. She never did it to me again, but
my parents have had countless plans and vacations canceled because

(48:45):
Karen simply could not be bothered to parent her own children.
A few months after that incident, I had graduated and
was living with my dad temporarily while figuring out my
next steps. I was keeping a low profile, doing freelance
coding work and saving money. I had been there about
a week when Karen and her baby daddy asked me
to babysit. At the last minute. I told them that
I couldn't because I was on a deadline and working.

(49:08):
Karen did not like that answer. I absolutely said something
rude without looking up from my screen. She immediately started
screaming that I had physically hurt her. She called the
police tried to file harmful act charges. To his credit,
the baby daddy said that he didn't see anything and
didn't want to get involved. The officer took statements, found

(49:28):
no injuries, and then asked me if I had somewhere
safe to go. He said he didn't want to leave
me there with her.

Speaker 2 (49:33):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (49:34):
I ended up crashing with a friend, missing my deadline,
and deciding I needed to get away from her. The
next day, I started to plan to move to out
the next day, I started planning to move out of state.
That was eighteen years ago. My dad still asks when
I'm moving back to take over the family business. I
always say that I have no interest. The truth is
I would love to, but I don't want my sister

(49:55):
anywhere near my life. Fast forward to recently. Now, I'm
recovering from my accident at home. I'm enjoying my prescribed
narcotics and watching football when my dad calls to complain
about Karen. Apparently she has been calling the police on
him or his customers for trespassing every other day for
two months, Karen and her husband lost their house, and

(50:16):
I've been living in a small one bedroom apartment above
the family store with their youngest who just started college.
Not every time, but sometimes when customers enter the store,
she would just get upset, start yelling and call the cops.
My dad acted like this behavior was brand new, so
I snapped. I told him he couldn't be shocked or
upset when he has spent four decades coddling her, making excuses,

(50:39):
and refusing to force her to get help for very
obvious mental health issues. For context, my family has never
shied away from mental health care. Thirty years ago, this week,
my parents had me locked in a psych word for
a week over a depressing doodle that I drew in class.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
So classic like eighties parents where it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah,
we're totally gonna whiff on noticing our one daughter throw
the baby.

Speaker 6 (51:05):
Downstairs and miraculously it was caught by our oldest Yeah,
but we will throw you into impatient psychiatric care because
of a doodle you made.

Speaker 4 (51:17):
Right, Like my high school daughter might attack my other
high school daughter and get arrested, but like she's she'll
get over it. She just needs to sit in the
in the clank for a little bit.

Speaker 2 (51:28):
Yeah we got let her stay in jail for a weekend.

Speaker 4 (51:32):
Yeah, but she doesn't. That's all she needs. It's like
pretty much the same thing as a psych word.

Speaker 2 (51:37):
Right, Yeah, for sure, that is crazy.

Speaker 4 (51:41):
After observation and interviews with both me and my parents,
the doctor has told me it was amazing that I
was as well adjusted as it was certified not crazy.
Dad refused to hear any of it. Then he brought
the issue to the family group chat. At that point,
I said, screw it, I've got time. I laid out
a timeline of everything Karen has done since childhood. I

(52:02):
deliberately left out the worst things that could irreparably damage
her relationship with her kids. I also included publicly available
booking records and court documents to back up what I could,
because evidence matters. My dad called me stunned. While on
the phone. He asked my mom about it. You confirmed everything,
including Karen throwing Katie down the stairs. Apparently she saw

(52:26):
my diving catch and punish me anyway, what you're joking?

Speaker 2 (52:31):
That's even worse.

Speaker 4 (52:33):
Katie texted me privately, thanking me for finally saying something.
Karen went live and posted a bunch of fabricated nonsense
about my father and me. I blocked her and told
my family that I was done. I set a boundary
and asked them to respect it. All I asked was
that they not share information about me, my wife, or
our kids with Karen. Everyone agreed. Within fifteen hours. My

(52:55):
mom was trying to arrange a call to talk it out,
because she's my mom. I agreed to listen. Less than
fifteen seconds in, Karen was screaming her version of history again.
When I calmly said, our father never hit her or
threw her down the stairs, she replied, it doesn't matter
if it actually happened, it's how I feel, and my
feelings are valid.

Speaker 2 (53:15):
No, you actually can't feel like something that didn't happen
happened to you and then that's now real.

Speaker 4 (53:22):
Yes, not how that that's literally not how that works.
This is not how it works at all. I told
my mom I loved her, and I hung up. Back
in the new family chat without Karen, her husband, or
her kids. My dad tried to downplay everything again. I
told them that I would no longer participate in my
sister's delusions, and my boundary stood until she got professional help.

(53:43):
I was done. Karen continued posting rambling rants, which I ignored.
Then I found out my parents were trying to set
up another conversation. I politely declined. They persisted until my
wife stepped in and told them to leave me alone
so I could recover. That finally worked. Then this morning,
I woke up to a Facebook post from Katie discussing

(54:04):
the drama and tagging both Karen and me, encouraging us
to work it out. I untagged myself and restated my
boundaries in the family chat. Several relatives began gaslighting me,
saying I needed to be the bigger person and that
this is just how she is what broke me was
my dad telling me that I was obsessed with Karen
and needed self reflection to become a better person. I snapped.

(54:25):
I told him, I am the only one in this
family who consistently takes responsibility for my actions. I am
the only one who has done years of therapy to
break the generational curse that he helped create. Then I
gathered every receipt, every trauma, lie, and documented incident, put
into a neat little holiday eat card, and sent it
to every close friend, relative, and extended family member, including

(54:48):
my sweet one hundred and one year old grandmother. Now
I worry I went too far, So Reddit's am I
the a hole? And we do have an update. After
making the original post on Tuesday, I fell as When
I woke up several hours later, the only people who
had contacted me were a few of Katie's daughters, telling
me that they understood where I was coming from and
that they love and support me. I thought, maybe, just maybe,

(55:10):
with all the receipts laid out in front of them,
my parents and Karen would have a come to Jesus moment.
I was wrong. My mother backtracked on everything she acknowledged
on Sunday, my dad posted in the family chat about
how disappointing it was to learn all of this for
the first time. His words, I really wanted to scream,
which you were there for half of it? Instead, I

(55:32):
had a realization Karen is his daughter. That is where
she gets it from. They are both stubborn and are
never wrong and absolutely hate it when you can prove otherwise.
I responded in the group chat by saying I have
nothing more to say on this matter, Please respect my boundary.
Not even thirty seconds later, I received a text directly

(55:52):
from my dad outside the family chat. It was a
wall of text asking me to reconsider cutting Karen out
of my life. It was deeply manipulative and completely ignored
all the issues that I had called attention to. Before
I could respond, my wife, Amanda forty one female, took
the phone from me and told me not to think
about it. Then she proceeded to write a double wall

(56:13):
of the text, calling him out on his failures as
a father, a husband, and a human being. She addressed
his failure to protect Katie and me as children, his
obliviousness to what was happening under his own roof, his
constant enabling and encouragement of Karen's behavior, and made it
clear that this was no longer just about Karen. Until
he fixes himself, he will not have access to his grandchildren.

(56:35):
He promptly announced, I'm not going to read all of that,
and Amanda told him to have a merry Christmas, but
not to bother contacting anyone here again until he is
ready to behave like an adult. He has not attempted
to contact me since.

Speaker 2 (56:48):
I hate when people say that. It's like, you send
all this stuff and they're just like, reading is too hard. Yeah,
I choose to actually be a bad father instead of
read for two minutes.

Speaker 4 (57:01):
Right, especially when they sent a long text beforehand.

Speaker 2 (57:05):
Yeah, It's like, well, why.

Speaker 4 (57:07):
Are you expecting them to read all that? Truly, Amanda
is the hero of the story. That is where things
stand now. On Christmas Eve. I think Katie and I
will be fine. I know she did not mean anything
by her Facebook post. She was just trying to be
funny because we have used dark humor to survive family
trauma since forever. I'm going low contact with my mom
until she shows me how she wants to move forward.

(57:27):
I am no contact with both Karen and my dad.
My niece told me, Karen continues to go live to
her two followers and post unhinged rants filled with baseless accusation.
I do keep my doors locked, I do have cameras
watching all entrances, and my kids no not to answer
the door for Aunt Karen. Here is one example that
is fresh in my mind because I brought it up
with my dad as evidence of his enabling behavior. After

(57:50):
Karen's special needs son was born, there was a question
of paternity. She insisted that the father was not the
guy who lived down the street, but instead a grown
man who lived across the kind whom she ran off
with for a few weeks during her senior year of
high school. DNA test proved that he was not the father.
Karen went on a tirade, claiming he's somehow cheated on

(58:10):
the DNA test. My evil muppet of a sister convinced
our father to drive her across the country to confront
this man and his parents. They drove together for multiple
days across multiple states, and showed up at the front
door of a man who a DNA test had already
proven was not the father of her child. Dad always
said he was the voice of reason, and stopped things

(58:32):
from escalating any further, But the fact that he went
along with it at all is insane. Boiler alert. It
turns out no amount of screaming, shouting, threatening, or breaking
things changes DNA results. When I brought up that incident,
Dad laughed it off and acted like it was weird
that I even remember that. He was proud of his
role in all of that. Anyway, thank you to everyone
who responded to the original post. Realizing just how much

(58:54):
my dad sucks was not the update they wanted. I
have loved and looked up to that man a my
entire life. This whole thing has been both eye opening
and heartbreaking. I know nothing that has transpired over the
last few days is my fault, but there is a
part of me that wishes that I had just let
dad event on Saturday. But a bigger part of me
is glad that I am becoming that kind of adult
that I needed in my life when I was a kid.

(59:16):
We have a second update.

Speaker 2 (59:17):
Yay, oh boy, Well, yeah, you're the one who knows
who not to be.

Speaker 4 (59:21):
Yeah, breaking that cycle.

Speaker 2 (59:22):
Like you said, in a way, your parents have been
a blueprint of just be the opposite behave in the
opposite way of these people.

Speaker 4 (59:29):
Yeah. I had a very brief text exchange with my
dad on Christmas morning. He reiterated that he did not
know about many of the issues that happened between Karen
and me. I had to admit that this is probably
true and at least partially my fault. I experienced an
unrelated childhood trauma when I was seven or eight. It
took a few years moving to a new neighborhood. In
an episode of America's Most Wanted, where John Walsh pleaded

(59:50):
with kids to tell a trusted adult if something bad
had happened to them. After seeing that episode, I told
my mom in great detail what had happened to me.
As far as I know, nothing was done after that.
I do not know if she told my dad or
if she decided that since the danger had passed, it
could be ignored. What I do know is that she
never talked to me about it again. That silence felt
like a second betrayal. I decided that at that point

(01:00:12):
that I was on my own when it came to
dealing with the things that happened to me. Combine that
with my dad being at work most of the time,
and I never told him about many of the things
that Karen did to me, so when he said he
did not know, I acknowledged that he was likely right.
I had not told him about some of the things
that happened when he was not around because it was Christmas.
I wanted to keep the exchange cordial. I did call

(01:00:33):
him out for his role in starting everything with Karen
over the past week, for keeping it going, and for
acting like a child when he realized that he was
talking to Amanda instead of me. He acknowledged that, but
still did not apologize. I told him that he and
my mother and I will need to have a conversation
at some point when I'm feeling better. That is where
we left it for now. And that's the end of

(01:00:54):
that story. Oh boy, what a crazy story that was.

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
If you see your three year old daughter chuck a
baby all right, like a football down the stairs and
it baby's fine and his caught, don't just ignore it
dad's behavior. You need to acknowledge and get ahead of immediately, immediately,
and by not doing so, you have created the monster
that is now Karen.

Speaker 4 (01:01:15):
Yeah, it's like the KARENI ist Karen. You could ever
fear Karen. But that's the end of that story and
the end of the episode.

Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
We love you and see you tomorrow.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My best friend got JEALOUS when I found love… so I walked away! -r/whatdoido | Reddit Stories | EP2656