April 1, 2026 • 43 mins
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00:00 r/BestofRedditorUpdates - Birth sister [27f] tracked me down and wants to be part of my [26f]'s life. I don't want her at my - wedding or in my life, at all
10:29 r/BORUpdatesMy sister (34F) is mad at me (40M) for keeping her ex employed and promoting him after he strayed. How can I show her this is purely a business decision and nothing to do with my support for her?
30:24 r/AmITheAsshole - AITA for making my daughter share her presents with my stepdaughter?
Note: stories are sometimes abbreviated
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Riley and this is Dakota, your favorite
Okay Storytime hosts, and we've got some great stories coming up.
But before that, we have a quick two minute break
from the sponsors that keep the show alive.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
My biosister tracked me and now wanted to be a
part of my life. What is she? The CIA. Here's
the issue. I was adopted as a baby. I twenty
six female. Have no clue what happened to anyone in
that family, as I have never had a desire to
look into my past. Mom fifty nine female, and Dad
sixty three male, are wonderful and giving people. I have
(00:33):
a sister, Elizabeth, who is my twin quote unquote. We
aren't related by blood, but are the same age. We
were both adopted, so we had that to bond over.
By the way, this comes from Dramaly and if you
want to dismit your own stories, go to the r
slash Okay Storytime severed it. I'm Sophia and I'm Savannah,
and we're here to give good advice Kooflee, But we
don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,
(00:53):
So let us know what you would do. In the comments,
and Opisa. I met the love of my life, Jake
thirty mail. We've been together for four years. We're getting
married in December. I have already planned out the guest list.
No kids will be there, and I'm super excited. I
have never really had the urge to look for my
bio siblings. I guess at this point it wouldn't really
(01:14):
be their true sibling emotionally because we have lived different lives.
Since I have medical records and grew up without them,
I never felt the need to meet them. But my biosister,
Janis twenty seven female, tracked me down about a month ago.
She wrote me on Facebook in July, but I didn't
check my other folder until September. It was a really
(01:34):
long letter that talked about who she was, how she
tracked me down and said she was looking for the
rest of the siblings. She said she really wanted to
connect with the rest of us because she needed to
find her past. I don't know what to think, but
her story added up. She had some pictures and since
I was a pretty ugly baby, it's obviously us together
as doddlers. She also knew some details. She could be
(01:55):
a fake, but I didn't think it was. I showed
Mom and Dad and they said it checked out. I've
been talking for a few weeks now. She has called
me twice a week, texting me every day. She's nice,
but I have been losing interest. She's just some stranger
to me. Emotionally, I find it very hard to recognize
this is someone I should care about on some deep level, shouldn't.
(02:15):
I feel like we're super close sisters. I don't get
the same excitement talking to her that I do with Elizabeth.
She has two kids who she talks about a lot.
She tells me she showed them my picture and they've
been showing people Auntie Emily. She also told me she
took off time in December for the wedding. She just
might need to stay with me because she's low on cash.
Yay on cash. Feels like maybe that's the reason she
(02:38):
came to you.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Hmmmm, not good.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Not good.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
And there's the first red flag. We got it.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
I was waiting for it. I know this makes me
sound nasty and ungrateful. She's super into meeting me, said,
I am the most normal sibling, and she's so excited
to have someone to share her life with. She sounds
really lonely. I know she's built this up in her
head as being the best thing to happen to her
in forever, but she isn't someone I would have in
my life if she didn't have some connection to my past.
(03:06):
Every time we talk, she goes on and on, and
I'm just counting down the minutes. I have tried to
work it away to be there for her, but I
can't bring myself to truly care. I don't wish her ill,
but she's just another stranger to me. She isn't family emotionally.
I know I could try to form the bond, but
at this point, I don't see the point. At twenty six,
I have pretty much established the sort of people I
(03:28):
want in my life. She just has views I find strange,
is rude in ways I find annoying, and despite having
biological nieces, I just don't feel like they're anything with
someone else's kid. Does this make me a bad person?
Am I horrid? I feel guilty as heck, because I
can tell she wants this so bad. Even then, even
if we did become friends, she would never be my
(03:48):
sister because being a sister means a lot more than
genetics to me, I'm not sure how to tell her, Hey,
I don't want to talk anymore. I've talked with my
significant other and he says, if I want her out
of my life, then I just need to handle it.
He doesn't really like her that much. They've talked, but
he says she puts a lot of pressure on me
to be close to her when this stuff doesn't always
even work. Any advice would be so appreciated, and we've
(04:12):
got relevant comments, But what do you think?
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Honestly, I don't think that you're like the a hole
in this opio because, like, if you don't want a relationship,
then you don't want a relationship. Like it's cool that
she reached down, and it's cool that she wants one,
you know, and she's discovering her past and one not
like she can't force.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
That on you. No, she can't.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
She cannot force you to feel like have this connection
of blood sisters or something like, I don't know. You
can't force someone to feel a specific way towards someone,
especially if you know you don't care to know your past.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
And that's that's okay. You don't have to, you know,
that's your boundary.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
So she just kind of needs to get it.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
I agree, and she's annoying apparently. Yeah, that's her worst crime.
I feel like, in terms of how do we go
about this, you just sit her down, go get coffee
and say, hey, I'm really appreciative that you reached out
to me. I don't think I'm ready for the type
of relationship you want. And then I don't know where
(05:09):
to go.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
From there, and then you send her confetti in the
mail spring Heel Jill.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Says, wait, did she invite herself to your wedding? What
that was a crazy thing that she did? Ohpi says,
she did invite herself and her two kids to my
wedding and to stay with me while I have everything
else going on. I'm not sure what she thought was
going to happen. I was going to be jolly about
someone being in my home with kids while I was
getting ready for my wedding and a honeymoon. And we've
(05:36):
got an update four days later. In the last few days,
I've done a lot of thinking. The short of the
long I have decided not to have her in my
life anymore. What happened? Janis called me last night. I
tried to be polite, but she went into a big,
long rave about all the plans she had for when
she visited me, she brought up the wedding. Would there
be time to see a long list of local places together?
(05:59):
Ohp is, I'm only planning a wedding. She doesn't have
time to be a tour guide. This is crazy. Did
she have a plus one? No, you don't even have
a one. Let them in a plus Yeah? What was
the dinner options? Nothing for you? She already bought the
girls dresses in blue with baskets so they could be
flower girls with the rest of the children. You wanted
(06:19):
to see her date? And who would watch the girls
while we were eating dinner? You at home? She was
looking forward to meeting our family members in December. She
needed to know what date she should arrive. She would
need to stay with me because she spent all her
extra cash on your wedding. I was pretty shocked because
she had done all this without even confirming she was invited.
Not sure what made me ask, but I asked her
(06:40):
if she really was in contact with the rest of
the siblings. She told me some very concerning things. She
had been in contact with two of them, a sister
and a brother. She said they tried to talk to her,
but then cut off contact. They were actually doing really well,
even though they were in foster care until they aged out.
They had their own kids, were married, had decent jobs.
They had refused to introduce her to their kids and
(07:02):
got mad. She wanted to know more details about their
lives with our parents. The rest of the siblings turned
down contact with her. The moment she wrote them, she said,
I was the longest communication she had with someone in
a long time. You just wanted to meet me so badly.
She had spent more money than she had to look nice.
She wanted me to help her and for her girls
to finally have a good family. I just told her
(07:25):
the truth. You have been coming on too quickly. I'm
a bit concerned because you're trying to invite yourself to
my wedding. You have never met. We're pretty much strangers.
I don't feel comfortable having you come stand my home before, after,
or during the wedding. I have a sister and parents.
I was raised with them. I do not view any
of the siblings as actual family members. I'm not their
(07:46):
aunt in anything but genetics, and do not intend to
recognize them as my nieces. If I have nibblings. They
will be when Elizabeth has children. I would like to
cut contact. I'm sorry you've been hurt, but I do
not have the energy to help you come these issues.
I don't want to talk about people I don't know, mistreatment,
I don't remember or be part of any reunion stories.
(08:08):
I would prefer to focus on my own family. But
there is a little bit left to the story, any
final thoughts.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
I feel bad me too. It's just she's too much.
She came on too quickly, she expected a lot.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Yeah, and it's just.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Like, dude, I got a wedding to worry about. I
don't want to rekindle or whatever.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Like, Yeah, it's such more timing for repe and I feel.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Like even the timing, like even if they weren't getting
married or whatever, like just to like invite yourself over
and do all this.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
It's just went too much. I don't know you like,
I don't know. It's weird. Yeah, and inviting your two
kids as well, it's too much. Go away, leave us alone.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I mean, I like the message that you said it.
I think like it's it was very stern.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I don't think that it's mean.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
People could take it as mean, but I just think
it was very much like, Okay, yeah, this is this
is what has happened. This is how I feel, and
this is how I like. This is my solution, this
is how to proceed. You know, she can't take it
the wrong way.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
I don't think Jane has told me she didn't have
anyone else. I was the last member of her family.
I reminded her that her children were her family and
she should focus on making friendships. I hung up on her.
She has tried calling back multiple times. I blocked her
on everything I could think of. I'm gonna have my
personal number changed in the next few days. I feel
(09:23):
relieved this is done. With final comments, Plastic Venus says,
you did the right thing for both of you. The
fact that her other siblings cut off contact shows that
this lack of boundaries is a broader problem and eventually
it would have dragged you down. Whilst it's sad that
she's in this position, she's not your responsibility and in
fact is leaning dangerously close to being a liability. Hopefully
(09:44):
she backs off and leaves you alone. Opie says, I
do as well. Jake, my asso doesn't think she will.
We have a security ready for her showing up, and
my family is aware of everything, and I've blocked her
as well, and there we go. All good news. Yeah,
I would be worried that she would show up at
the wedding and invited. If you have security, then we're
all good. I don't know. She just seems like a sad,
(10:04):
lonely girl.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Yeah, doesn't have anyone and is just reaching out for
any just strand of family or strand of something like,
just to find something. But it's like, girl, good, you
can therapist.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Yeah, yeah, let's reach out to a therapist first. Yeah,
I think that would be great.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Then trying to confide and basically strangers.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
But that's the end of that story. And we've got
another one coming right up. I promoted my sister's ex
after they broke up, and it was not pretty. He's
just too good at his jobs. This I forty mail.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Am in a weird situation here. My sister, Sarah thirty
four female, had been with Josh for three years. I
own a business. Without getting too specific, I have eight
employees right now, so fairly small. I hired Josh despite
him having less experience than typical for a new hire.
Originally as a favorite to Sarah, but he was a
natural fit from day one. He's been a huge tributor.
(11:00):
By the way, this comes from Representative Map seven sixty
seven and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay story Times subreddit. As
Opie says, all was fun and dandy until about three
months ago, it came out that Josh had been sleeping
with Sarah's best friend, Ashley.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Ashley is now pregnant.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Obviously, Sarah left him is now living with our parents
in the house I pay for. He is now engaged
to Ashley and living with her. I don't see this lasting.
While this was happening, I tried to remain professional with Josh.
While I think he's a filthtastic guy, technically.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Personal stuff shouldn't be used against him.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
At work, one of my longest employees, unfortunately, has had
some major health complications come up and he unofficially retired,
keeping him on the books for insurance, but he won't
be working for a while. I hate to say it,
but Josh really stepped up in his absence. He's been
incredibly essential in keeping us running and successful now more
than ever before.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Now that it's.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Become clear that my other employee won't be coming back
anytime soon. I needed to replace him. Josh is the
natural candidate, and all my other employees told me to
promote him, so I gave it to him with about
a fifty percent raise.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Actually, he said, I'm not only going to promote you,
but also he has a little more money. Fifty percent
more is crazy, pretty insane. Wow, did we find out
why they broke up again?
Speaker 3 (12:26):
He was sleeping with their best friend and got her
pregnant and is now engaged to her best friend.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
That was a bad move. I don't know. It's hard
because he's.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Helping your business. Yeah, and like business and social are
very different. But it is a weird situation you've been
put in if and I know you didn't put yourself there, but.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I gotta say, I feel like if I were in
this situation, my brother would not be doing that. Yeah,
that is like biggest brother betrayal. You can do. Yeah,
raise no, no, no, promotion raise all because he's I don't know,
I guess I'll need it for that kid. He's gonna
(13:07):
have what the person before.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
Him was making, and he's been flourishing in it. Awkward
part about that is Sarah just found out he was
promoted from a mutual friend and is livid with me
for she gave me an earful as did my parents.
And now I'm feeling pretty conflicted. I feel like personal
life and professionals should be treated separately, but my family
is saying this is different any advice and there is
(13:29):
an edit.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I'm gonna be honest, Yes, this might have been the
right move professionally, but your family's not gonna like you
for it. And sometimes you kind of have to like
make choices like that in life. Do you want your
professional life to you know, continue upwards or do you
want to make your family happy? And that's literally genuinely
the question you have to ask yourself.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Yeah, and plus like, I don't know because it's also
her business, so like and he's helped significantly his OPC guy,
Oh yeah, it helps with his business. You could hire someone,
but they're not going to be as you know, experienced
or maybe even successful as this person because they've been
there for a while and just know how to do it. Absolutely,
it's like the obvious choice, but they also made a
(14:12):
horrible move towards your family.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
I genuinely think you are not in the wrong from
a professional standpoint. Yeah, but it doesn't mean your family
has to like you for it. It is hard of you.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Uh well, there is an edit. They were never married
or engaged, just living together, no kids together. I am
not firing anyone. He hasn't broke any work roles and
that would screw over everyone else who works for me.
We do profit sharing, and that would require turning down
jobs due to not having bandwidth to take them on.
It would also require more hours from anyone. I'm not
going to do that as that wouldn't help anybody. People
(14:42):
keep saying just hire someone else, but we have a
national worker shortage and this is a specialized position. Even
if the perfect candidate came in, it would take at
least six months to get them to speed, and that's
with a candidate with ample experience. We have had open
jobs for our entry level roles that we train for
four months that aren't getting filled. Pay starts at fifty k.
(15:04):
We just haven't had qualified workers applying who are willing
to do the work. It is not so simple. Timeline
goes like two years ago, hires Josh day one old
employee takes short leave, Josh feels in temporarily at first.
A couple weeks later this all comes out. Josh is
still filling in and doing great. Three weeks later, old
employee shares he will not be coming back due to
(15:25):
health reasons. All my other employees tell me how great
Josh is doing and how much they like working for him.
Business is booming, and they tell me how much they
think Josh deserves the promotion. Officially, two weeks later, I
have to make a decision, so I give him the
promotion purely for performance reasons. A couple weeks after that,
Sarah finds out and that was in the last week.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
So he had only been working for a couple weeks
with you before you gave him the promotion.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
But he was filling in, so technically you could replace him,
but you're just not getting people to come in. Yeah,
so and that is hard, Like it's hard to find
a replacement, especially in like specific work. I don't know
exactly what you do, ope, but it seems like how
you're describing it, it's like very specifically specific work that
has to do with technical things. It seems so like
(16:10):
if you're not in it, it's hard to explain. But
also you said that the perfect candidate were to come in,
it would take them six months. But it didn't take
Josh that much and he had no experience. Yeah, because
you're like, yeah, he didn't have any experience, but it
was like whatever, he'll learn, and he did learn and
now he's doing great.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
So I feel like I feel like someone else could
do it.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Someone else could do it, it's just no one has
come forward to do it. It is hard because obviously
it's your business. You don't want it to just be
destroyed just because this guy screwed your sister over.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Yeah, it's hard. Oh, this is such a puzzle. The
thing is like, again, you gotta choose right here between
your business and your family.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Yeah, if you were to fire Josh, you would have
to fill that position.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
If you couldn't fill that position.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
You're you know, your employees are all going to be overworked.
They're probably to be mad because not only did you
lose one employee, you're now losing two employees out of
the eight that you have, So now you only have
six employees trying to do an eight person job. Everyone's
gonna be like overworked, tired, exhausted, frustrated, angry, whatever, and
it's not like he's doing a bad job either. He
(17:17):
just did bad things outside. It's just a bad person. Yeah,
there's a difference. So it's this is hard. This is hard,
curd underscore one. Let me ask you a hypothetical question.
If Josh cheated with your wife or girlfriend being an
exemplary employee at the same time.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
What would you do?
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Edit my take, You have every right to put your
business above your sister, but she has every right to
feel portrayed by you. But spare us that bs about
supporting her.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Completely agree with that comment. Completely agree with that comment
because because this is not supporting her, this is you
supporting your business. Yeah, which you are allowed to do.
But just admit that, Yeah, admit that it's at the
expense of your sister.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
Unfortunately, sorry, sis, but business is booming and I cannot
just fire another person.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Sorry, And I'm also planning on hiring your ex boyfriend's
a fair child. We gonna raise him up.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
To opie response.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Hmm, that really makes me think. He sounds like that's
such a business like businessman. Response. That really makes me think.
I'm gonna think about that while I keep doing what
I'm doing.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Give me two to five business days. I will think
about this and send it in an email titled.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
My decision that really made me think? That really made
me my final decision SIS or work.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
I feel like I wouldn't be able to be objective
in that situation, so I would make the emotional decision
to fire him. I don't know if that would actually
be an ethical business decision, though being a little more
removed from the situation, it's easier to be objective. Light
Observer says Josh has demonstrated poor ethics as a person,
it should make you at least question his ethics when
it comes to your business as well. Opie response. Thing is,
(18:57):
despite how bad of a boyfriend he was, he's never
messed up at work. I worry about the message it
sends to the rest of the team that personal life
problems endanger your job. I've had a lot of employees
over the years have relationships and marriages fail at times. Realistically,
some have probably cheated, But I've never disciplined someone for
how they handle their personal relationships.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
It's not about that. It's not about that. It's about
the fact that this guy cheated on your sister weeks
after you promote him, after he already does, so he starts,
then a couple of weeks later cheats on your sister.
Then a couple of weeks later, you promote him. That's
the issue here, that's the issue, and it has nothing
(19:36):
to do with Oh I fire everyone who cheats on someone. See.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
The thing is, if the promotion wasn't up for grabs,
like say, this guy didn't get sick or whatever, and
we wouldn't have he wouldn't have promoted him. So he
have gotten the promotion or would he have just gotten fired?
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Yeah? What would you have done if that guy hadn't left? Yeah,
it just looks bad.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
The promotion looks really bad after all of that happened. Yep,
that just seems wrong to me. If I had just
hired him, it'd be one thing. But he's worked for
me for two years without.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
Okay two years?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
That did we not read the timeline right?
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I don't understand the timeline?
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Then?
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Yeah, back to the timeline.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Go back in time. Oh, okay, two years ago, hires
Josh oh old employee takes short leave.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
It is a couple of weeks into his We just
didn't realize how long it had been. But a couple
of weeks into working there, he cheats on Opie's sister, so.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
He hires him day one. He already is like taking
this position, yes, and then a couple weeks later finds
out he's cheating, and then three weeks after that the
old employees like can't come back, and so then he's like,
two weeks later, I'm going to promote him.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
That's the crazy thing to me, looking back at the timeline.
We went back in time, we checked the facts. He
didn't know that the guy was leaving until after Josh
had already cheated, right, Yes, so it wasn't even an issue.
You kept him on after the fact. That's kind of
a crazy thing to me. That's true. Yeah, I problem,
(21:14):
and maybe maybe you couldn't have legally done that, but
like you haven't said that, you haven't told us. I
don't know you would have to like fire him with
cause or whatever. So that feels like to me, that's
not an issue.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
I also didn't think of it like legally how it
could go because you can't just fire someone with no cause. Yeah, so,
or you can literally get sued and blah blah blah
all that.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
But op hasn't said that's an issue. So I wonder
if he can do that, and he just didn't want to.
Turbulent being fifty two twelve says, come on, dude, if
your sister employed someone.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Who your wife cheated with, you would feel betrayed. You're
willing to be unethical for yourself, but not for your sister.
Your argument is personal versus professional life doesn't stand up.
You're using it as a crutch. And why exactly are
you not emotional here? Your little sister got extremely hurt
by someone. It's crazy you're so objective. My take is
(22:08):
that you're her big brother. You're supposed to protect her
and be in her corner. If someone had cheated on me,
I think it would be difficult to keep my brothers
from not beating him to a pulp, let alone giving
the dude promotions and being all buddy buddy with him.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Yeah. Also, how are you treating him while he's in office?
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (22:25):
You know, because if you're giving a promotion that feels
like you're working fairly close with him, are you? Are
you been all buddy buddy? Are you like, hey, Josh
my guy? Ah? Not a great day from the joshure.
Excellent work in all areas of your life, Josh, especially
with my sister. Screw don't like my sister. And also
(22:46):
his whole spiel about being objective feels untrue. I think
he just cares more. I think like the emotional thing
for him is that he cares more about his business.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Which is okay, you're allowed to care about your business
like that. That's where your money's coming from, that's where
you know, that's where you're banking a living.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Just be honest about it. It's just at the expense
of your sister.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
You're telling me there's not one person out there that
could do his job. There's not one person you could
bring in and train. Maybe inconvenient in the short term,
but more inconvenient in the long term to have a
crappy relationship with your sister because of some dude. As
for the legal aspect, do what big businesses do. Treat
him crappy enough that he leaves.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
On his own.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Oh, certainly, don't promote him, increase his quality of life
on your dime, and then expect your sister to swallow
it down and not feel betrayed. Op responds, he was
already filling in doing that job before all this came out,
and he was doing it better than the person before.
The hiring market is tough right now to find someone
with this experience. I definitely felt conflicted, but the rest
(23:52):
of my team was bouging for how well he's doing
and how much they like working for him. I do
feel bad for my sister, but my business supports seven
and other employees. Livelihoods supports my wife and three kids,
and my parents, who's housing expenses I pay for so
indirectly pain to house my sister currently since my dad
is on disability. It's not black and white. I understand
(24:13):
my sister is hurt. At this point, I'm more asking
how I can help do damage control.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Because I actually don't care about anything that you guys
are saying about me betraying my sister. But what can
I do where I still get what I want and
also no one's mad at me for it? It's exactly it.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Yes, though, I think giving her space is the right
move now so she can cool off. A deleted response. Look,
you can't fire him for personal reasons. Your sister and
your family will be pissed at you for that, and
with good reason. You can't possibly deny that. Try talking
with your sister and family on what you can compromise
with them. I'm sure you've already explained that you made
your decision purely on business reasons, and firing slash demoting
(24:51):
him is off the table given that you can be
sued for that info. Have you talked to Josh about
the issue with your sister? In hindsight, never mixed family
in business again, Opie responds, I talked to him once
when it all came out. He apologized and told me
he fell in love with the other woman. I told
him I don't want to hear about that or ever
discuss this matter at work, and then all conversations from
(25:12):
here on out would be strictly professional. He has abided
by that since as a rule, I don't discuss the
two of them with each other, no matter what. The
consensus is not the a hole and there is an update.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
I don't know. I don't like you, though, I don't know.
I'm kind of on ops side. I don't think that
Opie's necessarily doing the wrong thing. I just don't like him.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
I just feel bad that he's the one making all
the money that he has a wife and kids to
provide for. He also has all these other employees to
provide for feels like an excuse to.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Me, that's what do you mean that? That's not excuse,
Like it feels like he's just saying, Oh, I get
a new person. I don't want to do the work
to get a new person. Well, yeah, because it's hard
because he said that. The Yeah, I feel that this
doesn't want to do.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
The work the business or the like hiring market is
really bad right now.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I don't believe him. I don't buy it. I mean,
he didn't even apply for the job.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Sister vowed for him. Was like, Hey, he's looking for
a job, can you do it? And it's like maybe,
I guess, And then all that happens and it's like, yeah, Yi.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
You can do whatever you want. Opie, You're doing the
right thing business wise. I'll tell you that. That's all
I say. Update.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Saturday night, we had a family dinner where my parents
and Sarah are living. We didn't talk about the subject
of the last post during dinner, but Sarah was being
noticeably short with me, to the point that my son's noticed.
After dinner, I asked to speak in private, to which
she obliged. I reiterated to her that my actions with
Josh were purely about business and had nothing to do
with her. She told me she knows that, and she
(26:44):
was embarrassed at her reaction. It's just been a few
really crappy months for her.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Oh dang wow. Yeah, I like her and I still
don't like you.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Basically, she told me she hates her job, is now
single and missing her former best friend, and now she's
having some anxiety about never finding someone before she's too
old to have kids. And meanwhile everything just keeps seeming
to get better for her.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Ex.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
I have to say that really was sad to hear
from her. I told her I'm always here for her
and asked her what ideally she'd like to do work wise. Well,
it turns out, without getting too specific, what she would
ideally like to do is something that one of my
best friends has a business and needs someone to do
that function. That friend owes me some favors for a
jam I got them out of in the past, so
(27:27):
I told her I'd see what I can do. Well,
they connected Monday and really hit it off. They offered
her a full time position that she will now be
starting in two weeks. She'll be making more money with
better benefits doing something she's always wanted to do. Also,
on Sunday, we actually went to the amusement park with
my kids and her and I had a bit of
a family day.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Okay, somehow you got it so that everything worked out
for you, and you know what, I'm impressed somehow you
did it, and I'm glad that you finally helped your sister.
I feel like maybe you could have talked to her
a while ago and then you wouldn't have had all
these problems, but you didn't, and you finally talked to her.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
All right, we're right at the end.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Oh boy.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
She said that was great therapy for her, and what
she needed was to get out of the house my
parents are living in, as she was just feeling sorry
for herself there. She's looking at apartments this week and
is hoping to find one near me as she loves
hanging out. I'm not talking for you babysitting with her nephews. Sorry,
this isn't the juicy updates some people who were saying
she's going to go absolutely no contact with me. We're expecting,
(28:27):
but it was a happy update. Nonetheless, I'm really excited
for her to start a new job, as I think
she'll be much happier there, and she has a lot
to offer, so I'm sure she'll find someone as soon
as she's ready to start dating again. There are some
more comments. Mad for It says the only scenario where
I would be more on your side on this one
is if your country slash state laws do not permit
(28:48):
firing without just cause. I agree, example, as retribution for
his actions in his personal life. Committing a violation against
an employee protection Act and putting your business as risk
of actual damage, not just the inconvenience of losing a
good employee who you have no replacement for at the moment,
is a different situation entirely, Opie responds. When I manage
my business, I like to look at situations objectively. Firing
(29:10):
Josh would have been purely revenge and would hurt him, myself,
his future child, who has done nothing wrong, and the
rest of my employees. It also wouldn't have helped anyone.
Sarah and I talked about it, and she conceded that
it wouldn't have actually helped anyone or anything either. We're
all good now. I'd rather focus my energies towards helping
people and accomplishing goals than hurting people out of retribution,
and Sarah agrees.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Okay, I guess you won this time, OPI, OPI. I
don't know. I was on your side kind of the
whole time. I wasn't, but it worked out for you.
So yeah, I was on Sarah's side, and Sarah's cool.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Now, I'm glad that there was like a lot of
communication throughout this and figuring out and being like, you know,
I feel remorseful, but like if I fire him, like
that's putting so many.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Other people in a horrible position as well. You know,
that's fair.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
I'm glad that you kind of you know, you had
this talk, this heart to heart and every think's good
and she's getting out and she's doing it and you.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Also helped her.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Yeah, and you helped her and you did her.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
I debate that it worked out happily ever apped her. Really,
I would still kind of give Josh a glare in
the office every once in a while. Oh yeah, Josh,
screw him. He's horrible. But anyway, that's the end of
that story. We got another one camera at it.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Hey, it's Keon, your favorite Filipino here. We're going to
get back to the stories. But here's three minutes of
ads from our sponsors.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
I asked my daughter to share her gifts with her stepsister.
It didn't go well. Maybe she doesn't want to share.
I forty female, was a single mother to my daughter
Amy fifteen female. I came out three years ago and
married my wife, Jenna forty two female. Last year she
had a daughter, Nora, thirteen female. We all lived together
as I have full custody of my daughter. It was
(30:45):
kind of hard for her to adjust having a second mom,
but they got along well. By the way, this comes
from Emotional Duty fifty to fifty one and if you
want to submit your own stories, go to the r
slash Okay storytime. Supared at ENDOPI said, the girls have
their birthdays very close, only two days apart, so we
decided to have a joint birthday party for both of them.
Since Nora had a hard time making new friends, they
(31:07):
moved in with us, and she's very shy. Most of
my family lives out of the country, so the gifts
were sent a week early. It was a huge bag
with at least twenty gifts. The party was nice and
we opened the bag at night. Once everyone left, Jenna
handed out the presence as she took them out. After
twelve gifts in a row just for Amy, I jacked
(31:27):
the bag and froze to see that there were only
one gift for Nora from my parents. If you pretended
it wasn't a big deal. But as she opened the present,
I saw her face fall. It was a fifteen dollars
tumbler from Walmart. Not to sound ungrateful, but Amy's gifts
were much more expensive. Lots of gift cards over one
hundred dollars, a new phone. Who got her a new phone?
(31:49):
She gets a phone. This girl gets a tumbler, limited
fun funkos design her clothes, and lots of cards wishing
her a happy birthday. Needless to say, I blew up
in the family chat, calling out my pairs and siblings
and extended family who sent gifts for not considering Nora
and my parents for the cheap gift. No one took
me seriously, since it's not her duty to give gifts
(32:09):
to someone else's kids, and Amy deserved them since I
didn't even throw her own birthday party, emphasizing that Jenna
and Nora are my problem, not theirs. Noura was clearly
hurt since it's not the first time my family has
left her out at night. I asked Amy to share
some of the gifts with her stepsister, not all of them,
just a couple of gift cards and some of the
new clothes. Amy refused. This surprised me, since she never
(32:33):
had a problem with sharing, and even though she and
Nora are not BFFs, they usually get along. After asking why,
Amy started crying, saying that she never wanted a joint
birthday party and that I forced her to share everything
with Nora. That is really fair of her to say,
because they are two different people.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
And that's why I feel bad. Like when I, you know,
was with the twins and everything, they will never have
like they'll always have a joint yeah, And I'm like,
and they always get just the same things from everyone.
It's like, Okay, I got a shirt, you got a shirt.
I got, you know, football gloves, you got football gloves.
I got you know, a car, like a remote car.
(33:11):
You got a remote car.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
It's the same gifts. They just both have to have them.
Why would you even need two of the gifts anyway? Yeah, exactly, Yeah,
probably just share.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
No, they like they that was a thing they like.
They were very much like, no, they each need to
have like their own thing. Like they don't share, even
like food, Like if we had like like if I
would make fruit or something and just like cut it
up for them, they I would have to put it
on separate plates for them to eat, like they won't
just like pick out, you know whatever. Like yeah, they're
like no, no, no, they need their own I don't know,
but now they don't share. So yeah, I guess make
(33:40):
to make them feel individual or something, but they don't
even like if you know, say I gave them the
wrong things and like I switched it, they wouldn't eat it.
They're like, no, you gave it to him, you gave
it to him.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
I'm not touching that. I'd be like that's ridiculous. They
share a room for space, and I make sure they're
both invited to the same parties and sleepovers so that
Nora won't be left out. I'm just going back really quick. Yeah,
there is a two year age gap. Nora is thirteen,
Amy is fifteen. If I were fifteen, I don't know
if I would want a thirteen year old come in
(34:11):
to all of the same events as me. That's true, Like, yeah,
they're sisters, but Amy probably wants to hang out with
her own friends.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
Yeah, just because Nora is like, you know, like a
little shy and a little more introverted, doesn't mean that
you should also put Amy at that expenses exactly and
now have Amy share all of her friends with Nora.
You know, like, it's not fair in that way. They
both have individual identities. You can't just because it works
for you, guys, just do a joint birthday. Like, No,
(34:40):
they're two different people.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
And they also don't even have the same birthday. I
wouldn't have done the joint birthday. Yeah, if they don't
invite both of them, then neither of them goes. That's
so messed up. Yeah, what that genuinely is Really you're
the a hole for that. Op. Amy can't hang out
with her friends because her sister, who hasn't I mean
stepsister hasn't even been in her life that long. It
wasn't invited. Amy stated that she at least wanted her
(35:04):
own gifts to be hers alone. I scolded her for
being selfish with her stepsister, grounded her, and took a
couple of the presents to give to Nora. You're an ale,
she turned them now because she didn't want problems with Amy,
and it felt like pity. It was this was you
giving her pity gifts exactly.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Yeah, it was like, no, I want her included, I'm
taking your stuff, when that was just that's her stuff,
like you know, and it's her birthday and Bertha two
years apart, and you know, that's her family. You can't
expect her family to give your extended family, you know,
gifts as what like I need my parents would but
that's just you know, they don't want anyone to go without.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Absolutely, But like would your parents get like, let's say
your parents knew someone for maybe two years, would they
give them the same amount of gifts as they give you?
Oh no, I mean like I would have more exactly. Yeah.
So I totally understand why you're upset that Nora's feeling
left out, and to a certain extent, I think that
she was left out, which is not okay. But there
(36:01):
is going to be a difference because Nora hasn't been
in the family's life for very long in that and.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
I don't even know if they've met Nora because they
said that all most of her families out of the country.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Yeah, like so have they all even met Nora? So
it's like they don't. They aren't close with her. They
don't really know much about what she likes.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
Probably yeah, oh I'm sure, yeah, And so it's like
there's not really a relationship there, so they don't owe
that to her. But like obviously it is like a
nice thing to do, yeah, to send something, but obviously
the ones that you have a special relationships, last connection with,
like those are the ones you're going to go above
and beyond exactly exactly.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
They're not going to send Nora, a girl they don't
know a iPhone. It's like how I think.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
Of it as like, okay, so like my parents like
will give all of us like presents for Christmas and
then but she also gives all of the cousins like
presents for Christmas, but each of them just gets like one. Yes,
but I obviously, like everyone in my family gets you know,
like ten or something. You know, it just really depends
like how expensive or whatever. But like like I feel
like that's that makes sense. That's reasonable, Like, yeah, you
(37:04):
don't have to give as much to them as you
do to me, since I am your child.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
And if Noor feels left out, than you and her mom,
as the parents need to go above and beyond for her. Yeah,
not just steal Amy's gifts.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
Yeah, and you can't just like expect the family to
just do that for you.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
You know. Since then, Amy has been cold to all
of us. I just want my two girls to be
closer with the joint party and I have the same
things am I the ale Yeah, and we discussed it. Clarification,
Jen and I bought gifts for the girls their own
tablets as well as their friends. Nora also receive gifts
from her extended family, but they sent for Amy as well.
(37:44):
How many did they send Amy? Though? Update? I didn't
answer many questions in the comments because seeing the number
of replies, I decided to make an update once things
calm down. I admit and accept that I haven't been
the best mom to Amy. I love my daughter, but
I always want wanted a bigger family and was desperate
to make it work. You were actively making it not work.
I also accept that I favored Nora as I want
(38:07):
her to recognize me as her mom's partner or stepmom.
I talked to my wife and she agrees that I
forced too much on the girls to share in being
sisters to the point of being ridiculous with my both
of them aren't invited, neither of them goes rule. At first,
she was okay with Amy including Nora and her friend group,
as she was always very shy and we didn't want
her to be lone. But with the rule, I basically
(38:28):
made Amy Nora's babysitter. In fact, I didn't know this.
Amy went to her crying after I took away her
presence and doesn't feel that I love her anymore. It
made me cry. I thought we were a happy family.
Later I talked to Amy, begged her forgiveness and promised
that I would do things right from now on. She
forgave me very quickly. See it was that easy, Opie,
was that easy. She just wanted you to listen to her.
(38:50):
I also asked how she really feels about the blended family.
She said that she really likes Jenna, but doesn't feel
anything special towards Nora. I thought they loved each other
and out not they barely tolerate each other. I asked
her why, and Amy said, I've only known her for
a year and she's kind of weird. Later I talked
to Nora to apologize for the party and everything else
(39:11):
she was upset, but she also forgave me. Nora also
confirmed that they don't really care about each other. They're
just polite because they live together. Based on everything that happened,
we're starting to make some changes. We're going to move
Amy into the basement. Since the house is small and
there's only two rooms, she chose to have it as
her bedroom. We'll throw Amy her own party next month,
as she wanted. Nora didn't want to have one, and
(39:33):
needless to say that if both of them aren't invited,
neither of them goes. Rule no longer exists. There is
a little bit left to this story. Any final thoughts.
I think it was a real eye opener for opio.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
Oh yeah, I'm glad that you took the advice of
others of just being like, dude, you can't just control.
You can't just be like, yeah, you're gonna be friends
and you're gonna like it, and your friends are gonna
come and I you don't have any but like you
can go in with them and if like you don't
want you, then no one's having anything. Like that's way
(40:06):
too controlling. It's giving Helicopter Mom agree, and I just don't.
That's never a good thing. Control, Like you can have control, Yes,
control is like a good thing sometimes, but not over
control to being like you have to love your sister
after knowing her for a year.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Yeah, and if you push that, they're not gonna you know,
they're gonna like each other even less. Oh exactly.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
That's like those kids that, like, you know, very strict
parents are like you only do this, you can't go here,
you can't do that, blah bah blah, and then they
end up being so sneaky because it's like like I,
you don't let me do anything, and this is the
only time I can go out and.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
Get experience and explore and whatever.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
So it's like I'm gonna do it, and now I'm
doing it in an unsafe way.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
But We've got a little bit left. I'm proud that
my girls found the place in their hearts to give
me a second chance. And according to some advice I
read in the comments, it was wrong of me to
force them to be a family immediately. You can't force love.
I should know that better than anyone, and I'm ashamed
of my actions. They've been spending more time together lately,
but I won't force anything. Their relationship is up to them.
(41:06):
I don't know if this is what you expected from
the comments. Most people expected Amy to go live with
my parents, go no contact with me in the future,
or that Jenna would divorce me and take them both.
I started going to therapy a few weeks ago to
work on my problems and hopefully be a better mother
and wife for my family. Even if the comments we're
a bit harsh, I appreciate the interest and help. I
(41:27):
honestly think you needed some marsh comments. Yeah, I think
you needed a wake up call. But that is the
end of that story. And we've got some comments of Hey,
it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here, and we're
going to get back to the stories. But here's a
three minute ad break from our sponsors. And these comments
are from the story My mother's boyfriend made me realize
(41:48):
how insecure my stepmother is. And this was posted February thirteenth,
twenty twenty six TLDR. For story one, Opie grew up
feeling unwanted in her dad's house because his stepmom treated
her like she did not belong. She was left out
of family trips, pushed out of Christmas photos and even
called a weekend daughter. Oh. Her dad kept pictures of
(42:08):
her hidden in his office, but never truly stood up
for When her mom's boyfriend showed her what real care
looks like, Opie realized the way she was treated was
not normal. After one more Christmas without her, she finally
confronted her dad. He chose his wife over her, so
Opie made a choice too. She walked away from the
house and said she'll not come back as long as
her stepmom is there. If you're curious to know the
(42:30):
full story, you can go watch the full video. We've
got a comment from Flagirl Medick, who says, as a
stepmom in a stepmom group, I don't know what group
she's talking about, but the one I'm in would absolutely
tear into the stepmom for treating Ope like that. My
step sons are my sons too. It breaks my heart
that people are out there justifying treating a child this way.
(42:51):
And joyata Ja says the seventeen year old gal should
be proud she's dealing with the father stuff. At seventeen,
I pushed it down until my forties and comment for
from smile fifty to ten, I would be livid if
my partner prioritize me over our daughter. Bom Mariana says,
(43:12):
I've always thought your spouse should come first, but that
only works if you actually choose a good one, someone
who isn't selfish, isn't greedy, and would never put your
kids in a bad spot. If you don't have that,
the whole thing doesn't work. When your priorities are clear,
you can look at situations more in the sense of
it as a want or a neat And just because
your spouse comes first doesn't mean your kids come last.
(43:32):
It just means you value both parties. You protect your kids,
you support your partner, and you make choices that are
good for the whole family. And that is the end
of that story and those comments and the end of
this episode. So if you love us, make sure to subscribe,
and we love you and see you tomorrow.
Hey, this is Riley and this is Dakota, your favorite
Okay Storytime hosts, and we've got some great stories coming up.
But before that, we have a quick two minute break
from the sponsors that keep the show alive.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
My biosister tracked me and now wanted to be a
part of my life. What is she? The CIA. Here's
the issue. I was adopted as a baby. I twenty
six female. Have no clue what happened to anyone in
that family, as I have never had a desire to
look into my past. Mom fifty nine female, and Dad
sixty three male, are wonderful and giving people. I have
(00:33):
a sister, Elizabeth, who is my twin quote unquote. We
aren't related by blood, but are the same age. We
were both adopted, so we had that to bond over.
By the way, this comes from Dramaly and if you
want to dismit your own stories, go to the r
slash Okay Storytime severed it. I'm Sophia and I'm Savannah,
and we're here to give good advice Kooflee, But we
don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,
(00:53):
So let us know what you would do. In the comments,
and Opisa. I met the love of my life, Jake
thirty mail. We've been together for four years. We're getting
married in December. I have already planned out the guest list.
No kids will be there, and I'm super excited. I
have never really had the urge to look for my
bio siblings. I guess at this point it wouldn't really
(01:14):
be their true sibling emotionally because we have lived different lives.
Since I have medical records and grew up without them,
I never felt the need to meet them. But my biosister,
Janis twenty seven female, tracked me down about a month ago.
She wrote me on Facebook in July, but I didn't
check my other folder until September. It was a really
(01:34):
long letter that talked about who she was, how she
tracked me down and said she was looking for the
rest of the siblings. She said she really wanted to
connect with the rest of us because she needed to
find her past. I don't know what to think, but
her story added up. She had some pictures and since
I was a pretty ugly baby, it's obviously us together
as doddlers. She also knew some details. She could be
(01:55):
a fake, but I didn't think it was. I showed
Mom and Dad and they said it checked out. I've
been talking for a few weeks now. She has called
me twice a week, texting me every day. She's nice,
but I have been losing interest. She's just some stranger
to me. Emotionally, I find it very hard to recognize
this is someone I should care about on some deep level, shouldn't.
(02:15):
I feel like we're super close sisters. I don't get
the same excitement talking to her that I do with Elizabeth.
She has two kids who she talks about a lot.
She tells me she showed them my picture and they've
been showing people Auntie Emily. She also told me she
took off time in December for the wedding. She just
might need to stay with me because she's low on cash.
Yay on cash. Feels like maybe that's the reason she
(02:38):
came to you.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Hmmmm, not good.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Not good.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
And there's the first red flag. We got it.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
I was waiting for it. I know this makes me
sound nasty and ungrateful. She's super into meeting me, said,
I am the most normal sibling, and she's so excited
to have someone to share her life with. She sounds
really lonely. I know she's built this up in her
head as being the best thing to happen to her
in forever, but she isn't someone I would have in
my life if she didn't have some connection to my past.
(03:06):
Every time we talk, she goes on and on, and
I'm just counting down the minutes. I have tried to
work it away to be there for her, but I
can't bring myself to truly care. I don't wish her ill,
but she's just another stranger to me. She isn't family emotionally.
I know I could try to form the bond, but
at this point, I don't see the point. At twenty six,
I have pretty much established the sort of people I
(03:28):
want in my life. She just has views I find strange,
is rude in ways I find annoying, and despite having
biological nieces, I just don't feel like they're anything with
someone else's kid. Does this make me a bad person?
Am I horrid? I feel guilty as heck, because I
can tell she wants this so bad. Even then, even
if we did become friends, she would never be my
(03:48):
sister because being a sister means a lot more than
genetics to me, I'm not sure how to tell her, Hey,
I don't want to talk anymore. I've talked with my
significant other and he says, if I want her out
of my life, then I just need to handle it.
He doesn't really like her that much. They've talked, but
he says she puts a lot of pressure on me
to be close to her when this stuff doesn't always
even work. Any advice would be so appreciated, and we've
(04:12):
got relevant comments, But what do you think?
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Honestly, I don't think that you're like the a hole
in this opio because, like, if you don't want a relationship,
then you don't want a relationship. Like it's cool that
she reached down, and it's cool that she wants one,
you know, and she's discovering her past and one not
like she can't force.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
That on you. No, she can't.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
She cannot force you to feel like have this connection
of blood sisters or something like, I don't know. You
can't force someone to feel a specific way towards someone,
especially if you know you don't care to know your past.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
And that's that's okay. You don't have to, you know,
that's your boundary.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
So she just kind of needs to get it.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
I agree, and she's annoying apparently. Yeah, that's her worst crime.
I feel like, in terms of how do we go
about this, you just sit her down, go get coffee
and say, hey, I'm really appreciative that you reached out
to me. I don't think I'm ready for the type
of relationship you want. And then I don't know where
(05:09):
to go.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
From there, and then you send her confetti in the
mail spring Heel Jill.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Says, wait, did she invite herself to your wedding? What
that was a crazy thing that she did? Ohpi says,
she did invite herself and her two kids to my
wedding and to stay with me while I have everything
else going on. I'm not sure what she thought was
going to happen. I was going to be jolly about
someone being in my home with kids while I was
getting ready for my wedding and a honeymoon. And we've
(05:36):
got an update four days later. In the last few days,
I've done a lot of thinking. The short of the
long I have decided not to have her in my
life anymore. What happened? Janis called me last night. I
tried to be polite, but she went into a big,
long rave about all the plans she had for when
she visited me, she brought up the wedding. Would there
be time to see a long list of local places together?
(05:59):
Ohp is, I'm only planning a wedding. She doesn't have
time to be a tour guide. This is crazy. Did
she have a plus one? No, you don't even have
a one. Let them in a plus Yeah? What was
the dinner options? Nothing for you? She already bought the
girls dresses in blue with baskets so they could be
flower girls with the rest of the children. You wanted
(06:19):
to see her date? And who would watch the girls
while we were eating dinner? You at home? She was
looking forward to meeting our family members in December. She
needed to know what date she should arrive. She would
need to stay with me because she spent all her
extra cash on your wedding. I was pretty shocked because
she had done all this without even confirming she was invited.
Not sure what made me ask, but I asked her
(06:40):
if she really was in contact with the rest of
the siblings. She told me some very concerning things. She
had been in contact with two of them, a sister
and a brother. She said they tried to talk to her,
but then cut off contact. They were actually doing really well,
even though they were in foster care until they aged out.
They had their own kids, were married, had decent jobs.
They had refused to introduce her to their kids and
(07:02):
got mad. She wanted to know more details about their
lives with our parents. The rest of the siblings turned
down contact with her. The moment she wrote them, she said,
I was the longest communication she had with someone in
a long time. You just wanted to meet me so badly.
She had spent more money than she had to look nice.
She wanted me to help her and for her girls
to finally have a good family. I just told her
(07:25):
the truth. You have been coming on too quickly. I'm
a bit concerned because you're trying to invite yourself to
my wedding. You have never met. We're pretty much strangers.
I don't feel comfortable having you come stand my home before, after,
or during the wedding. I have a sister and parents.
I was raised with them. I do not view any
of the siblings as actual family members. I'm not their
(07:46):
aunt in anything but genetics, and do not intend to
recognize them as my nieces. If I have nibblings. They
will be when Elizabeth has children. I would like to
cut contact. I'm sorry you've been hurt, but I do
not have the energy to help you come these issues.
I don't want to talk about people I don't know, mistreatment,
I don't remember or be part of any reunion stories.
(08:08):
I would prefer to focus on my own family. But
there is a little bit left to the story, any
final thoughts.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
I feel bad me too. It's just she's too much.
She came on too quickly, she expected a lot.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Yeah, and it's just.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Like, dude, I got a wedding to worry about. I
don't want to rekindle or whatever.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Like, Yeah, it's such more timing for repe and I feel.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Like even the timing, like even if they weren't getting
married or whatever, like just to like invite yourself over
and do all this.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
It's just went too much. I don't know you like,
I don't know. It's weird. Yeah, and inviting your two
kids as well, it's too much. Go away, leave us alone.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I mean, I like the message that you said it.
I think like it's it was very stern.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I don't think that it's mean.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
People could take it as mean, but I just think
it was very much like, Okay, yeah, this is this
is what has happened. This is how I feel, and
this is how I like. This is my solution, this
is how to proceed. You know, she can't take it
the wrong way.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
I don't think Jane has told me she didn't have
anyone else. I was the last member of her family.
I reminded her that her children were her family and
she should focus on making friendships. I hung up on her.
She has tried calling back multiple times. I blocked her
on everything I could think of. I'm gonna have my
personal number changed in the next few days. I feel
(09:23):
relieved this is done. With final comments, Plastic Venus says,
you did the right thing for both of you. The
fact that her other siblings cut off contact shows that
this lack of boundaries is a broader problem and eventually
it would have dragged you down. Whilst it's sad that
she's in this position, she's not your responsibility and in
fact is leaning dangerously close to being a liability. Hopefully
(09:44):
she backs off and leaves you alone. Opie says, I
do as well. Jake, my asso doesn't think she will.
We have a security ready for her showing up, and
my family is aware of everything, and I've blocked her
as well, and there we go. All good news. Yeah,
I would be worried that she would show up at
the wedding and invited. If you have security, then we're
all good. I don't know. She just seems like a sad,
(10:04):
lonely girl.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Yeah, doesn't have anyone and is just reaching out for
any just strand of family or strand of something like,
just to find something. But it's like, girl, good, you
can therapist.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Yeah, yeah, let's reach out to a therapist first. Yeah,
I think that would be great.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Then trying to confide and basically strangers.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
But that's the end of that story. And we've got
another one coming right up. I promoted my sister's ex
after they broke up, and it was not pretty. He's
just too good at his jobs. This I forty mail.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Am in a weird situation here. My sister, Sarah thirty
four female, had been with Josh for three years. I
own a business. Without getting too specific, I have eight
employees right now, so fairly small. I hired Josh despite
him having less experience than typical for a new hire.
Originally as a favorite to Sarah, but he was a
natural fit from day one. He's been a huge tributor.
(11:00):
By the way, this comes from Representative Map seven sixty
seven and if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the r slash Okay story Times subreddit. As
Opie says, all was fun and dandy until about three
months ago, it came out that Josh had been sleeping
with Sarah's best friend, Ashley.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Ashley is now pregnant.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Obviously, Sarah left him is now living with our parents
in the house I pay for. He is now engaged
to Ashley and living with her. I don't see this lasting.
While this was happening, I tried to remain professional with Josh.
While I think he's a filthtastic guy, technically.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Personal stuff shouldn't be used against him.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
At work, one of my longest employees, unfortunately, has had
some major health complications come up and he unofficially retired,
keeping him on the books for insurance, but he won't
be working for a while. I hate to say it,
but Josh really stepped up in his absence. He's been
incredibly essential in keeping us running and successful now more
than ever before.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Now that it's.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Become clear that my other employee won't be coming back
anytime soon. I needed to replace him. Josh is the
natural candidate, and all my other employees told me to
promote him, so I gave it to him with about
a fifty percent raise.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Actually, he said, I'm not only going to promote you,
but also he has a little more money. Fifty percent
more is crazy, pretty insane. Wow, did we find out
why they broke up again?
Speaker 3 (12:26):
He was sleeping with their best friend and got her
pregnant and is now engaged to her best friend.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
That was a bad move. I don't know. It's hard
because he's.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Helping your business. Yeah, and like business and social are
very different. But it is a weird situation you've been
put in if and I know you didn't put yourself there, but.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I gotta say, I feel like if I were in
this situation, my brother would not be doing that. Yeah,
that is like biggest brother betrayal. You can do. Yeah,
raise no, no, no, promotion raise all because he's I don't know,
I guess I'll need it for that kid. He's gonna
(13:07):
have what the person before.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
Him was making, and he's been flourishing in it. Awkward
part about that is Sarah just found out he was
promoted from a mutual friend and is livid with me
for she gave me an earful as did my parents.
And now I'm feeling pretty conflicted. I feel like personal
life and professionals should be treated separately, but my family
is saying this is different any advice and there is
(13:29):
an edit.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I'm gonna be honest, Yes, this might have been the
right move professionally, but your family's not gonna like you
for it. And sometimes you kind of have to like
make choices like that in life. Do you want your
professional life to you know, continue upwards or do you
want to make your family happy? And that's literally genuinely
the question you have to ask yourself.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Yeah, and plus like, I don't know because it's also
her business, so like and he's helped significantly his OPC guy,
Oh yeah, it helps with his business. You could hire someone,
but they're not going to be as you know, experienced
or maybe even successful as this person because they've been
there for a while and just know how to do it. Absolutely,
it's like the obvious choice, but they also made a
(14:12):
horrible move towards your family.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
I genuinely think you are not in the wrong from
a professional standpoint. Yeah, but it doesn't mean your family
has to like you for it. It is hard of you.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Uh well, there is an edit. They were never married
or engaged, just living together, no kids together. I am
not firing anyone. He hasn't broke any work roles and
that would screw over everyone else who works for me.
We do profit sharing, and that would require turning down
jobs due to not having bandwidth to take them on.
It would also require more hours from anyone. I'm not
going to do that as that wouldn't help anybody. People
(14:42):
keep saying just hire someone else, but we have a
national worker shortage and this is a specialized position. Even
if the perfect candidate came in, it would take at
least six months to get them to speed, and that's
with a candidate with ample experience. We have had open
jobs for our entry level roles that we train for
four months that aren't getting filled. Pay starts at fifty k.
(15:04):
We just haven't had qualified workers applying who are willing
to do the work. It is not so simple. Timeline
goes like two years ago, hires Josh day one old
employee takes short leave, Josh feels in temporarily at first.
A couple weeks later this all comes out. Josh is
still filling in and doing great. Three weeks later, old
employee shares he will not be coming back due to
(15:25):
health reasons. All my other employees tell me how great
Josh is doing and how much they like working for him.
Business is booming, and they tell me how much they
think Josh deserves the promotion. Officially, two weeks later, I
have to make a decision, so I give him the
promotion purely for performance reasons. A couple weeks after that,
Sarah finds out and that was in the last week.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
So he had only been working for a couple weeks
with you before you gave him the promotion.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
But he was filling in, so technically you could replace him,
but you're just not getting people to come in. Yeah,
so and that is hard, Like it's hard to find
a replacement, especially in like specific work. I don't know
exactly what you do, ope, but it seems like how
you're describing it, it's like very specifically specific work that
has to do with technical things. It seems so like
(16:10):
if you're not in it, it's hard to explain. But
also you said that the perfect candidate were to come in,
it would take them six months. But it didn't take
Josh that much and he had no experience. Yeah, because
you're like, yeah, he didn't have any experience, but it
was like whatever, he'll learn, and he did learn and
now he's doing great.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
So I feel like I feel like someone else could
do it.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Someone else could do it, it's just no one has
come forward to do it. It is hard because obviously
it's your business. You don't want it to just be
destroyed just because this guy screwed your sister over.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Yeah, it's hard. Oh, this is such a puzzle. The
thing is like, again, you gotta choose right here between
your business and your family.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Yeah, if you were to fire Josh, you would have
to fill that position.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
If you couldn't fill that position.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
You're you know, your employees are all going to be overworked.
They're probably to be mad because not only did you
lose one employee, you're now losing two employees out of
the eight that you have, So now you only have
six employees trying to do an eight person job. Everyone's
gonna be like overworked, tired, exhausted, frustrated, angry, whatever, and
it's not like he's doing a bad job either. He
(17:17):
just did bad things outside. It's just a bad person. Yeah,
there's a difference. So it's this is hard. This is hard,
curd underscore one. Let me ask you a hypothetical question.
If Josh cheated with your wife or girlfriend being an
exemplary employee at the same time.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
What would you do?
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Edit my take, You have every right to put your
business above your sister, but she has every right to
feel portrayed by you. But spare us that bs about
supporting her.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Completely agree with that comment. Completely agree with that comment
because because this is not supporting her, this is you
supporting your business. Yeah, which you are allowed to do.
But just admit that, Yeah, admit that it's at the
expense of your sister.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
Unfortunately, sorry, sis, but business is booming and I cannot
just fire another person.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Sorry, And I'm also planning on hiring your ex boyfriend's
a fair child. We gonna raise him up.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
To opie response.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Hmm, that really makes me think. He sounds like that's
such a business like businessman. Response. That really makes me think.
I'm gonna think about that while I keep doing what
I'm doing.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Give me two to five business days. I will think
about this and send it in an email titled.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
My decision that really made me think? That really made
me my final decision SIS or work.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
I feel like I wouldn't be able to be objective
in that situation, so I would make the emotional decision
to fire him. I don't know if that would actually
be an ethical business decision, though being a little more
removed from the situation, it's easier to be objective. Light
Observer says Josh has demonstrated poor ethics as a person,
it should make you at least question his ethics when
it comes to your business as well. Opie response. Thing is,
(18:57):
despite how bad of a boyfriend he was, he's never
messed up at work. I worry about the message it
sends to the rest of the team that personal life
problems endanger your job. I've had a lot of employees
over the years have relationships and marriages fail at times. Realistically,
some have probably cheated, But I've never disciplined someone for
how they handle their personal relationships.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
It's not about that. It's not about that. It's about
the fact that this guy cheated on your sister weeks
after you promote him, after he already does, so he starts,
then a couple of weeks later cheats on your sister.
Then a couple of weeks later, you promote him. That's
the issue here, that's the issue, and it has nothing
(19:36):
to do with Oh I fire everyone who cheats on someone. See.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
The thing is, if the promotion wasn't up for grabs,
like say, this guy didn't get sick or whatever, and
we wouldn't have he wouldn't have promoted him. So he
have gotten the promotion or would he have just gotten fired?
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Yeah? What would you have done if that guy hadn't left? Yeah,
it just looks bad.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
The promotion looks really bad after all of that happened. Yep,
that just seems wrong to me. If I had just
hired him, it'd be one thing. But he's worked for
me for two years without.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
Okay two years?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
That did we not read the timeline right?
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I don't understand the timeline?
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Then?
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Yeah, back to the timeline.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Go back in time. Oh, okay, two years ago, hires
Josh oh old employee takes short leave.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
It is a couple of weeks into his We just
didn't realize how long it had been. But a couple
of weeks into working there, he cheats on Opie's sister, so.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
He hires him day one. He already is like taking
this position, yes, and then a couple weeks later finds
out he's cheating, and then three weeks after that the
old employees like can't come back, and so then he's like,
two weeks later, I'm going to promote him.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
That's the crazy thing to me, looking back at the timeline.
We went back in time, we checked the facts. He
didn't know that the guy was leaving until after Josh
had already cheated, right, Yes, so it wasn't even an issue.
You kept him on after the fact. That's kind of
a crazy thing to me. That's true. Yeah, I problem,
(21:14):
and maybe maybe you couldn't have legally done that, but
like you haven't said that, you haven't told us. I
don't know you would have to like fire him with
cause or whatever. So that feels like to me, that's
not an issue.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
I also didn't think of it like legally how it
could go because you can't just fire someone with no cause. Yeah, so,
or you can literally get sued and blah blah blah
all that.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
But op hasn't said that's an issue. So I wonder
if he can do that, and he just didn't want to.
Turbulent being fifty two twelve says, come on, dude, if
your sister employed someone.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Who your wife cheated with, you would feel betrayed. You're
willing to be unethical for yourself, but not for your sister.
Your argument is personal versus professional life doesn't stand up.
You're using it as a crutch. And why exactly are
you not emotional here? Your little sister got extremely hurt
by someone. It's crazy you're so objective. My take is
(22:08):
that you're her big brother. You're supposed to protect her
and be in her corner. If someone had cheated on me,
I think it would be difficult to keep my brothers
from not beating him to a pulp, let alone giving
the dude promotions and being all buddy buddy with him.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Yeah. Also, how are you treating him while he's in office?
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (22:25):
You know, because if you're giving a promotion that feels
like you're working fairly close with him, are you? Are
you been all buddy buddy? Are you like, hey, Josh
my guy? Ah? Not a great day from the joshure.
Excellent work in all areas of your life, Josh, especially
with my sister. Screw don't like my sister. And also
(22:46):
his whole spiel about being objective feels untrue. I think
he just cares more. I think like the emotional thing
for him is that he cares more about his business.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
Which is okay, you're allowed to care about your business
like that. That's where your money's coming from, that's where
you know, that's where you're banking a living.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Just be honest about it. It's just at the expense
of your sister.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
You're telling me there's not one person out there that
could do his job. There's not one person you could
bring in and train. Maybe inconvenient in the short term,
but more inconvenient in the long term to have a
crappy relationship with your sister because of some dude. As
for the legal aspect, do what big businesses do. Treat
him crappy enough that he leaves.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
On his own.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Oh, certainly, don't promote him, increase his quality of life
on your dime, and then expect your sister to swallow
it down and not feel betrayed. Op responds, he was
already filling in doing that job before all this came out,
and he was doing it better than the person before.
The hiring market is tough right now to find someone
with this experience. I definitely felt conflicted, but the rest
(23:52):
of my team was bouging for how well he's doing
and how much they like working for him. I do
feel bad for my sister, but my business supports seven
and other employees. Livelihoods supports my wife and three kids,
and my parents, who's housing expenses I pay for so
indirectly pain to house my sister currently since my dad
is on disability. It's not black and white. I understand
(24:13):
my sister is hurt. At this point, I'm more asking
how I can help do damage control.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Because I actually don't care about anything that you guys
are saying about me betraying my sister. But what can
I do where I still get what I want and
also no one's mad at me for it? It's exactly it.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Yes, though, I think giving her space is the right
move now so she can cool off. A deleted response. Look,
you can't fire him for personal reasons. Your sister and
your family will be pissed at you for that, and
with good reason. You can't possibly deny that. Try talking
with your sister and family on what you can compromise
with them. I'm sure you've already explained that you made
your decision purely on business reasons, and firing slash demoting
(24:51):
him is off the table given that you can be
sued for that info. Have you talked to Josh about
the issue with your sister? In hindsight, never mixed family
in business again, Opie responds, I talked to him once
when it all came out. He apologized and told me
he fell in love with the other woman. I told
him I don't want to hear about that or ever
discuss this matter at work, and then all conversations from
(25:12):
here on out would be strictly professional. He has abided
by that since as a rule, I don't discuss the
two of them with each other, no matter what. The
consensus is not the a hole and there is an update.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
I don't know. I don't like you, though, I don't know.
I'm kind of on ops side. I don't think that
Opie's necessarily doing the wrong thing. I just don't like him.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
I just feel bad that he's the one making all
the money that he has a wife and kids to
provide for. He also has all these other employees to
provide for feels like an excuse to.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Me, that's what do you mean that? That's not excuse,
Like it feels like he's just saying, Oh, I get
a new person. I don't want to do the work
to get a new person. Well, yeah, because it's hard
because he said that. The Yeah, I feel that this
doesn't want to do.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
The work the business or the like hiring market is
really bad right now.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I don't believe him. I don't buy it. I mean,
he didn't even apply for the job.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Sister vowed for him. Was like, Hey, he's looking for
a job, can you do it? And it's like maybe,
I guess, And then all that happens and it's like, yeah, Yi.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
You can do whatever you want. Opie, You're doing the
right thing business wise. I'll tell you that. That's all
I say. Update.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Saturday night, we had a family dinner where my parents
and Sarah are living. We didn't talk about the subject
of the last post during dinner, but Sarah was being
noticeably short with me, to the point that my son's noticed.
After dinner, I asked to speak in private, to which
she obliged. I reiterated to her that my actions with
Josh were purely about business and had nothing to do
with her. She told me she knows that, and she
(26:44):
was embarrassed at her reaction. It's just been a few
really crappy months for her.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Oh dang wow. Yeah, I like her and I still
don't like you.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Basically, she told me she hates her job, is now
single and missing her former best friend, and now she's
having some anxiety about never finding someone before she's too
old to have kids. And meanwhile everything just keeps seeming
to get better for her.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Ex.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
I have to say that really was sad to hear
from her. I told her I'm always here for her
and asked her what ideally she'd like to do work wise. Well,
it turns out, without getting too specific, what she would
ideally like to do is something that one of my
best friends has a business and needs someone to do
that function. That friend owes me some favors for a
jam I got them out of in the past, so
(27:27):
I told her I'd see what I can do. Well,
they connected Monday and really hit it off. They offered
her a full time position that she will now be
starting in two weeks. She'll be making more money with
better benefits doing something she's always wanted to do. Also,
on Sunday, we actually went to the amusement park with
my kids and her and I had a bit of
a family day.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Okay, somehow you got it so that everything worked out
for you, and you know what, I'm impressed somehow you
did it, and I'm glad that you finally helped your sister.
I feel like maybe you could have talked to her
a while ago and then you wouldn't have had all
these problems, but you didn't, and you finally talked to her.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
All right, we're right at the end.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Oh boy.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
She said that was great therapy for her, and what
she needed was to get out of the house my
parents are living in, as she was just feeling sorry
for herself there. She's looking at apartments this week and
is hoping to find one near me as she loves
hanging out. I'm not talking for you babysitting with her nephews. Sorry,
this isn't the juicy updates some people who were saying
she's going to go absolutely no contact with me. We're expecting,
(28:27):
but it was a happy update. Nonetheless, I'm really excited
for her to start a new job, as I think
she'll be much happier there, and she has a lot
to offer, so I'm sure she'll find someone as soon
as she's ready to start dating again. There are some
more comments. Mad for It says the only scenario where
I would be more on your side on this one
is if your country slash state laws do not permit
(28:48):
firing without just cause. I agree, example, as retribution for
his actions in his personal life. Committing a violation against
an employee protection Act and putting your business as risk
of actual damage, not just the inconvenience of losing a
good employee who you have no replacement for at the moment,
is a different situation entirely, Opie responds. When I manage
my business, I like to look at situations objectively. Firing
(29:10):
Josh would have been purely revenge and would hurt him, myself,
his future child, who has done nothing wrong, and the
rest of my employees. It also wouldn't have helped anyone.
Sarah and I talked about it, and she conceded that
it wouldn't have actually helped anyone or anything either. We're
all good now. I'd rather focus my energies towards helping
people and accomplishing goals than hurting people out of retribution,
and Sarah agrees.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Okay, I guess you won this time, OPI, OPI. I
don't know. I was on your side kind of the
whole time. I wasn't, but it worked out for you.
So yeah, I was on Sarah's side, and Sarah's cool.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Now, I'm glad that there was like a lot of
communication throughout this and figuring out and being like, you know,
I feel remorseful, but like if I fire him, like
that's putting so many.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Other people in a horrible position as well. You know,
that's fair.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
I'm glad that you kind of you know, you had
this talk, this heart to heart and every think's good
and she's getting out and she's doing it and you.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Also helped her.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Yeah, and you helped her and you did her.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
I debate that it worked out happily ever apped her. Really,
I would still kind of give Josh a glare in
the office every once in a while. Oh yeah, Josh,
screw him. He's horrible. But anyway, that's the end of
that story. We got another one camera at it.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Hey, it's Keon, your favorite Filipino here. We're going to
get back to the stories. But here's three minutes of
ads from our sponsors.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
I asked my daughter to share her gifts with her stepsister.
It didn't go well. Maybe she doesn't want to share.
I forty female, was a single mother to my daughter
Amy fifteen female. I came out three years ago and
married my wife, Jenna forty two female. Last year she
had a daughter, Nora, thirteen female. We all lived together
as I have full custody of my daughter. It was
(30:45):
kind of hard for her to adjust having a second mom,
but they got along well. By the way, this comes
from Emotional Duty fifty to fifty one and if you
want to submit your own stories, go to the r
slash Okay storytime. Supared at ENDOPI said, the girls have
their birthdays very close, only two days apart, so we
decided to have a joint birthday party for both of them.
Since Nora had a hard time making new friends, they
(31:07):
moved in with us, and she's very shy. Most of
my family lives out of the country, so the gifts
were sent a week early. It was a huge bag
with at least twenty gifts. The party was nice and
we opened the bag at night. Once everyone left, Jenna
handed out the presence as she took them out. After
twelve gifts in a row just for Amy, I jacked
(31:27):
the bag and froze to see that there were only
one gift for Nora from my parents. If you pretended
it wasn't a big deal. But as she opened the present,
I saw her face fall. It was a fifteen dollars
tumbler from Walmart. Not to sound ungrateful, but Amy's gifts
were much more expensive. Lots of gift cards over one
hundred dollars, a new phone. Who got her a new phone?
(31:49):
She gets a phone. This girl gets a tumbler, limited
fun funkos design her clothes, and lots of cards wishing
her a happy birthday. Needless to say, I blew up
in the family chat, calling out my pairs and siblings
and extended family who sent gifts for not considering Nora
and my parents for the cheap gift. No one took
me seriously, since it's not her duty to give gifts
(32:09):
to someone else's kids, and Amy deserved them since I
didn't even throw her own birthday party, emphasizing that Jenna
and Nora are my problem, not theirs. Noura was clearly
hurt since it's not the first time my family has
left her out at night. I asked Amy to share
some of the gifts with her stepsister, not all of them,
just a couple of gift cards and some of the
new clothes. Amy refused. This surprised me, since she never
(32:33):
had a problem with sharing, and even though she and
Nora are not BFFs, they usually get along. After asking why,
Amy started crying, saying that she never wanted a joint
birthday party and that I forced her to share everything
with Nora. That is really fair of her to say,
because they are two different people.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
And that's why I feel bad. Like when I, you know,
was with the twins and everything, they will never have
like they'll always have a joint yeah, And I'm like,
and they always get just the same things from everyone.
It's like, Okay, I got a shirt, you got a shirt.
I got, you know, football gloves, you got football gloves.
I got you know, a car, like a remote car.
(33:11):
You got a remote car.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
It's the same gifts. They just both have to have them.
Why would you even need two of the gifts anyway? Yeah, exactly, Yeah,
probably just share.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
No, they like they that was a thing they like.
They were very much like, no, they each need to
have like their own thing. Like they don't share, even
like food, Like if we had like like if I
would make fruit or something and just like cut it
up for them, they I would have to put it
on separate plates for them to eat, like they won't
just like pick out, you know whatever. Like yeah, they're
like no, no, no, they need their own I don't know,
but now they don't share. So yeah, I guess make
(33:40):
to make them feel individual or something, but they don't
even like if you know, say I gave them the
wrong things and like I switched it, they wouldn't eat it.
They're like, no, you gave it to him, you gave
it to him.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
I'm not touching that. I'd be like that's ridiculous. They
share a room for space, and I make sure they're
both invited to the same parties and sleepovers so that
Nora won't be left out. I'm just going back really quick. Yeah,
there is a two year age gap. Nora is thirteen,
Amy is fifteen. If I were fifteen, I don't know
if I would want a thirteen year old come in
(34:11):
to all of the same events as me. That's true, Like, yeah,
they're sisters, but Amy probably wants to hang out with
her own friends.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
Yeah, just because Nora is like, you know, like a
little shy and a little more introverted, doesn't mean that
you should also put Amy at that expenses exactly and
now have Amy share all of her friends with Nora.
You know, like, it's not fair in that way. They
both have individual identities. You can't just because it works
for you, guys, just do a joint birthday. Like, No,
(34:40):
they're two different people.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
And they also don't even have the same birthday. I
wouldn't have done the joint birthday. Yeah, if they don't
invite both of them, then neither of them goes. That's
so messed up. Yeah, what that genuinely is Really you're
the a hole for that. Op. Amy can't hang out
with her friends because her sister, who hasn't I mean
stepsister hasn't even been in her life that long. It
wasn't invited. Amy stated that she at least wanted her
(35:04):
own gifts to be hers alone. I scolded her for
being selfish with her stepsister, grounded her, and took a
couple of the presents to give to Nora. You're an ale,
she turned them now because she didn't want problems with Amy,
and it felt like pity. It was this was you
giving her pity gifts exactly.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Yeah, it was like, no, I want her included, I'm
taking your stuff, when that was just that's her stuff,
like you know, and it's her birthday and Bertha two
years apart, and you know, that's her family. You can't
expect her family to give your extended family, you know,
gifts as what like I need my parents would but
that's just you know, they don't want anyone to go without.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Absolutely, But like would your parents get like, let's say
your parents knew someone for maybe two years, would they
give them the same amount of gifts as they give you?
Oh no, I mean like I would have more exactly. Yeah.
So I totally understand why you're upset that Nora's feeling
left out, and to a certain extent, I think that
she was left out, which is not okay. But there
(36:01):
is going to be a difference because Nora hasn't been
in the family's life for very long in that and.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
I don't even know if they've met Nora because they
said that all most of her families out of the country.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Yeah, like so have they all even met Nora? So
it's like they don't. They aren't close with her. They
don't really know much about what she likes.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
Probably yeah, oh I'm sure, yeah, And so it's like
there's not really a relationship there, so they don't owe
that to her. But like obviously it is like a
nice thing to do, yeah, to send something, but obviously
the ones that you have a special relationships, last connection with,
like those are the ones you're going to go above
and beyond exactly exactly.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
They're not going to send Nora, a girl they don't
know a iPhone. It's like how I think.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
Of it as like, okay, so like my parents like
will give all of us like presents for Christmas and
then but she also gives all of the cousins like
presents for Christmas, but each of them just gets like one. Yes,
but I obviously, like everyone in my family gets you know,
like ten or something. You know, it just really depends
like how expensive or whatever. But like like I feel
like that's that makes sense. That's reasonable, Like, yeah, you
(37:04):
don't have to give as much to them as you
do to me, since I am your child.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
And if Noor feels left out, than you and her mom,
as the parents need to go above and beyond for her. Yeah,
not just steal Amy's gifts.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
Yeah, and you can't just like expect the family to
just do that for you.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
You know. Since then, Amy has been cold to all
of us. I just want my two girls to be
closer with the joint party and I have the same
things am I the ale Yeah, and we discussed it. Clarification,
Jen and I bought gifts for the girls their own
tablets as well as their friends. Nora also receive gifts
from her extended family, but they sent for Amy as well.
(37:44):
How many did they send Amy? Though? Update? I didn't
answer many questions in the comments because seeing the number
of replies, I decided to make an update once things
calm down. I admit and accept that I haven't been
the best mom to Amy. I love my daughter, but
I always want wanted a bigger family and was desperate
to make it work. You were actively making it not work.
I also accept that I favored Nora as I want
(38:07):
her to recognize me as her mom's partner or stepmom.
I talked to my wife and she agrees that I
forced too much on the girls to share in being
sisters to the point of being ridiculous with my both
of them aren't invited, neither of them goes rule. At first,
she was okay with Amy including Nora and her friend group,
as she was always very shy and we didn't want
her to be lone. But with the rule, I basically
(38:28):
made Amy Nora's babysitter. In fact, I didn't know this.
Amy went to her crying after I took away her
presence and doesn't feel that I love her anymore. It
made me cry. I thought we were a happy family.
Later I talked to Amy, begged her forgiveness and promised
that I would do things right from now on. She
forgave me very quickly. See it was that easy, Opie,
was that easy. She just wanted you to listen to her.
(38:50):
I also asked how she really feels about the blended family.
She said that she really likes Jenna, but doesn't feel
anything special towards Nora. I thought they loved each other
and out not they barely tolerate each other. I asked
her why, and Amy said, I've only known her for
a year and she's kind of weird. Later I talked
to Nora to apologize for the party and everything else
(39:11):
she was upset, but she also forgave me. Nora also
confirmed that they don't really care about each other. They're
just polite because they live together. Based on everything that happened,
we're starting to make some changes. We're going to move
Amy into the basement. Since the house is small and
there's only two rooms, she chose to have it as
her bedroom. We'll throw Amy her own party next month,
as she wanted. Nora didn't want to have one, and
(39:33):
needless to say that if both of them aren't invited,
neither of them goes. Rule no longer exists. There is
a little bit left to this story. Any final thoughts.
I think it was a real eye opener for opio.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
Oh yeah, I'm glad that you took the advice of
others of just being like, dude, you can't just control.
You can't just be like, yeah, you're gonna be friends
and you're gonna like it, and your friends are gonna
come and I you don't have any but like you
can go in with them and if like you don't
want you, then no one's having anything. Like that's way
(40:06):
too controlling. It's giving Helicopter Mom agree, and I just don't.
That's never a good thing. Control, Like you can have control, Yes,
control is like a good thing sometimes, but not over
control to being like you have to love your sister
after knowing her for a year.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Yeah, and if you push that, they're not gonna you know,
they're gonna like each other even less. Oh exactly.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
That's like those kids that, like, you know, very strict
parents are like you only do this, you can't go here,
you can't do that, blah bah blah, and then they
end up being so sneaky because it's like like I,
you don't let me do anything, and this is the
only time I can go out and.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
Get experience and explore and whatever.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
So it's like I'm gonna do it, and now I'm
doing it in an unsafe way.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
But We've got a little bit left. I'm proud that
my girls found the place in their hearts to give
me a second chance. And according to some advice I
read in the comments, it was wrong of me to
force them to be a family immediately. You can't force love.
I should know that better than anyone, and I'm ashamed
of my actions. They've been spending more time together lately,
but I won't force anything. Their relationship is up to them.
(41:06):
I don't know if this is what you expected from
the comments. Most people expected Amy to go live with
my parents, go no contact with me in the future,
or that Jenna would divorce me and take them both.
I started going to therapy a few weeks ago to
work on my problems and hopefully be a better mother
and wife for my family. Even if the comments we're
a bit harsh, I appreciate the interest and help. I
(41:27):
honestly think you needed some marsh comments. Yeah, I think
you needed a wake up call. But that is the
end of that story. And we've got some comments of Hey,
it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here, and we're
going to get back to the stories. But here's a
three minute ad break from our sponsors. And these comments
are from the story My mother's boyfriend made me realize
(41:48):
how insecure my stepmother is. And this was posted February thirteenth,
twenty twenty six TLDR. For story one, Opie grew up
feeling unwanted in her dad's house because his stepmom treated
her like she did not belong. She was left out
of family trips, pushed out of Christmas photos and even
called a weekend daughter. Oh. Her dad kept pictures of
(42:08):
her hidden in his office, but never truly stood up
for When her mom's boyfriend showed her what real care
looks like, Opie realized the way she was treated was
not normal. After one more Christmas without her, she finally
confronted her dad. He chose his wife over her, so
Opie made a choice too. She walked away from the
house and said she'll not come back as long as
her stepmom is there. If you're curious to know the
(42:30):
full story, you can go watch the full video. We've
got a comment from Flagirl Medick, who says, as a
stepmom in a stepmom group, I don't know what group
she's talking about, but the one I'm in would absolutely
tear into the stepmom for treating Ope like that. My
step sons are my sons too. It breaks my heart
that people are out there justifying treating a child this way.
(42:51):
And joyata Ja says the seventeen year old gal should
be proud she's dealing with the father stuff. At seventeen,
I pushed it down until my forties and comment for
from smile fifty to ten, I would be livid if
my partner prioritize me over our daughter. Bom Mariana says,
(43:12):
I've always thought your spouse should come first, but that
only works if you actually choose a good one, someone
who isn't selfish, isn't greedy, and would never put your
kids in a bad spot. If you don't have that,
the whole thing doesn't work. When your priorities are clear,
you can look at situations more in the sense of
it as a want or a neat And just because
your spouse comes first doesn't mean your kids come last.
(43:32):
It just means you value both parties. You protect your kids,
you support your partner, and you make choices that are
good for the whole family. And that is the end
of that story and those comments and the end of
this episode. So if you love us, make sure to subscribe,
and we love you and see you tomorrow.
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