My boyfriend is bad at EVERYTHING and I’m losing respect for him! | Reddit Stories | EP2652 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Keon and.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
This is your host, Riley, your favorite Okay storytelling host,
and we've got some great stories coming up from you.

Speaker 1 (00:06):
But before that, we have a two minute break from
the sponsors that keep the show alive.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
My boyfriend is bad at everything, and I'm losing respect
for him. Okay, So I twenty three female, am going
crazy in my head here because I don't know if
I'm just the world's hugest witch or what. Basically, my boyfriend,
let's call him Steve twenty three mail, is just not
good at doing anything.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Stop.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
Wait wait, wait, that's not true. He's good at out
doorsy stuff and is apparently pretty good at his job
in catering aside from that question marks. By the way,
this comes from Don't Care Throwaway and if you want
to smit your own stories, go to the r slash
Okay Storytime subbured it. I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, I'm Keon,
and we're here to give good advice scoofy, But we
don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

(00:55):
so please let us know what you would do in
the comments.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
So he's good at like hiking, Yeah, he's good at
walking and jumping.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
Apparently catering money and catering.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
You would think that would apply at home, too, right.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
You can't cater to op.

Speaker 3 (01:08):
You can't do it. For example, I feel like I
can't do anything with him that involves any skill or
is even slightly competitive, because one he's a sore loser
and two he never win.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
No.

Speaker 3 (01:20):
When I stayed with his family over Christmas, they had
a scrabble board, and because it was snowy and boring,
I tried to pass the time playing scrabble.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
With says Sophia's worst nightmare.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
Yeah, I've been losing a lot at scrabble. Currently I'm winning.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
Your boyfriend's just super smart. You just got to give
it up.

Speaker 3 (01:35):
Well, I usually win the word game.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
Yeah, it's like Sophia has actually has a challenge. She
met her maker kind of thing. But like, if you
were dating someone and they like they were just really
bad at like board games or scrabble, would that be
an ick for you?

Speaker 3 (01:49):
Not at scrabble. If they were bad at scrabble, that's okay.
I'm not even a good scrabble player, and I still
crushed him every game, And eventually, after a few rounds.
I just couldn't play anymore because I had to spend
like ten minutes after every game making him feel better
about himself.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
Stop it? No, why do.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
You even after like the first time I had to
do that, and we're not playing anymore. It's so boring.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
No, babe, you can spell. It's fine.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
No, babe is a word you tried. Awesome, Ash says,
met her match, not her maker. Yeah, if I was
meeting my maker, i'd be dying. After giving up on Scrabble,
we switched to playing Sorry, I Love Sorry, and we
had to stop that too because I couldn't handle the
mental toll of continuously beating him at Sorry? How did

(02:35):
you beat sorry? Sorry? Sorry is a game of chance?

Speaker 2 (02:39):
You literally, there's no thinking, it's.

Speaker 3 (02:42):
Literally you pick up a card. How did you beat
him at? Sorry? That's actually crazy?

Speaker 2 (02:48):
Every time you beat him every time? It's sorry every time.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
Statistically, that's like impossible.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
Hot take. I think he does want you to break
up with him, so he's just doing this.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
Yeah, he just wants to lose everything.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
I was gonna say, rock paper scissors? He always how
do you always win?

Speaker 3 (03:03):
She's like, I think you have bad luck? Another time
we went to a board game night with some friends
and he couldn't understand the rules for most of the
board games, and afterwards he vented to me about how
stupid the games were and why there was no point
having rules so complicated no one could grasp them. He
was the only one who couldn't grasp them. Other times,
we'd play casual stuff like air hockey foosball, which I

(03:25):
didn't think even required any strategy other than spinning the
little plastic dudes really fast, and he'd still lose every
time and get upset about it. I don't care about winning.
I just want to have fun, and it feels like
it's impossible to have fun because playing anything with him
feels like playing against a gosh dang five year old boy.
I feel like the issue here is not that he

(03:46):
loses at everything, is that he just can't stand losing.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
No, I think he just he also can't grasp I
don't know, this guy just doesn't you play uno Yeah, loses,
I do know. I don't know.

Speaker 3 (03:58):
I just think he's such a sore loser that it
is becoming unattractive.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Well, I was gonna say, why don't you bring up
the question of like what game do you want to play? Johnny, Well, it's.

Speaker 3 (04:07):
Your turn to pick, and he's like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (04:10):
I suck at everything.

Speaker 3 (04:11):
What if we just do a race?

Speaker 2 (04:13):
I have a really, really hot take at the end
of the story.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
But wait, this thread isn't entitled. My boyfriend is terrible
at games. I was wondering because you had only mentioned games.
So here's some other stuff. His internet stopped working a
while back, so he called me. I told him to
use his mobile data to download the troubleshooting manual for
his router and see if he could fix it. He
didn't manage it, so I went to his place later
and found he downloaded the manual for the wrong router.

(04:39):
It wasn't even for the right brand.

Speaker 2 (04:41):
Oh no, so he zero critical thinking skills? Yeah, how
was he raised?

Speaker 1 (04:46):
No?

Speaker 3 (04:46):
No, no, without critical thinking. I ended up fixing his problem,
and then he rant it to me about how all
these router manufacturers make their manuals so hard to use,
like there's some sort of deliberate conspiracy to keep everyone
in perpetual confusion. A less, they're a genius. I think
this guy has low IQ. I'm not a genius. I'm

(05:06):
just capable of following simple written instructions. Also, he wants
to go back to school to do a master's degree,
but he needs to do some prerecs, including a math
unit where he's struggling with a lot of the material,
but as far as I can tell, it's all stuff
he learned in high school. Lately, he's been posting Facebook
updates about how hard it is to learn logarithms. My
school covered logarithms in grade nine, and even though I

(05:29):
can't remember how to do them off the top of
my head, I don't recall them being particularly hard at
the time.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
He's lost me at going to Facebook.

Speaker 3 (05:37):
Yeah, that he's like going to Facebook to complain about
more things that he's bad at. Oh gosh, stop telling
people that you're bad at everything.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
Also, he's not trying to solve, like figure out the problems, like, oh,
is there a cheat code for this yet?

Speaker 3 (05:50):
I know I'm getting my master or like trying to
get my master's degree, but can someone else get my
master's degree for me?

Speaker 1 (05:57):
Dudo P.

Speaker 3 (05:57):
If he keeps this up, you make his master's Yeah,
he's going to email you or not email you. He's
going to text you whenever he's doing a test. And
he's like, Babe, I don't I don't understand all the
bad problems, and then you're gonna take the test for him?

Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah at this pace.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
And aside from that, I'm getting tired of being expected
to be sympathetic when increasingly I just want to yell, well,
maybe if you weren't such I don't. But but if
I even hint that, maybe he should be able to
deal with his own emotions, Honey, I know you couldn't
get the pizza dough of the shape you wanted, but
it's not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, right.
I get accused of being unsympathetic to his feelings, Well,

(06:35):
what about my feelings? Oh pee? Why are we with him?

Speaker 2 (06:38):
He sounds stupid and not confident.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
Do you have to shake it for him or wipe
it for him? ROAs it's giving.

Speaker 3 (06:45):
It is, You're not his mommy.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
Do you have to put like onion rings on the
toilet so he knows where to like aim onion rings?

Speaker 1 (06:51):
Did you do that?

Speaker 3 (06:52):
Who did that?

Speaker 2 (06:53):
Or cheerios cheerios the pros cheerios, but they're moving, that's
the fun part.

Speaker 1 (06:59):
It's called Yeah.

Speaker 3 (07:00):
I don't want constant rolling coverage of every tiny thing
that bothers you. But he's also an incredibly sweet, hard
working person who treats me well, and his boss and
co workers all say he doesn't just work hard, but
it's actually really competent at his job. And he did
pretty well in high school. And he's lived on his
own since he was sixteen and kept himself alive the

(07:20):
whole time, and no one else has ever hinted or
said to me, Gee, your boyfriend is kind of a
dumb butt. So what the f is it? Me? Am
I the crazy one, am I the Witch? And we've
got an update two months later. But uh, what.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
Do you think this man is masculated?

Speaker 3 (07:38):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (07:39):
Okay, few things I'm gonna get. I'm gonna get kind
of serious here, a few points here. He was able
to live on his own set sixteen, and then you
came into his life. Did he just kind of like
dump everything onto you? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (07:49):
He's like, oh, I've been waiting for someone to take
this off of my hands, and it's just his whole life.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
Weaponizing incompetence could me? That's my theory.

Speaker 3 (07:56):
You know, weaponized incompetence doesn't usually come out board games. Yeah,
so it feels like maybe he's just incompetent.

Speaker 2 (08:05):
I feel like, within a relationship, Sophia, you're probably gonna
disagree with me. People are gonna disagree with me. But
between like a heterosexual relationship, you need a healthy amount
of feminine and masculinity because a man in a role,
I feel like, should be a protector, be confident, be
like and I'm like, oh, I'm gonna watch but like
he's like, oh, I got you back, I'm gonna go
check out the scary noise outside. I'm gonna do that.

(08:26):
That's kind of his role in the relationship, and it
feels like he's not doing that. And now you're like
his partner and also his mother, where every time he
does something wrong or something you have to like build
him back up where he can't do himself. He doesn't
have the tools of doing himself, and that is not
gonna sustain whatsoever. Think about when you have kids. The kid,
this is what's gonna happen. The kid's gonna play a
little board game with daddy. The kid beats dad, and

(08:48):
guess who you're gonna have to help out with.

Speaker 3 (08:50):
It's the five year old and he's like, Dad, let's
play a game, let's play, you know, and then by
the end of the game, he's like, this game is
too hard, my five year old? Is that change? Yes?
How is he doing this?

Speaker 2 (09:01):
Do you want that?

Speaker 3 (09:02):
No?

Speaker 2 (09:03):
I'm glad that you're realizing this, But you may have
also shot yourself in the foot because have we given
him room to like kind of like build up into that.

Speaker 3 (09:09):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
We're always like kind of aiding him, and we're now
we're getting sick of it. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:13):
I feel like if you have always not allowed this
behavior but kind of kind of allowed it, like you've
you've encouraged it in a way, and that every time
that he comes whinding to you, you fix his problems,
and then now you're complaining about it. I feel like
maybe this is just not the right match.

Speaker 2 (09:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
Oh, he's the one who deals with him on like
a daily basis. Good point, And she's like, am I
the crazy one that nobody else is calling him out
for this?

Speaker 3 (09:40):
No? You probably just know him better than other people.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
I don't know. Is there another friend that like you
have that you like a group of friends that you have,
like the board game group. Did you message them and like, hey,
sorry for his behavior? You know. Sorry, he was so cranky.
He just didn't get the rules kind of thing.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
We're like, he didn't get his nap today.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
Yeah, he didn't get his nap. He didn't get it.
He didn't get a snack today.

Speaker 2 (09:58):
Sorry, But like there was a there's a real or
video out there that's like, oh, it's like when one
of your girlfriends has the baby. Their boyfriends like, yeah,
here's your snack, here's your iPad. I've see that, and
then it's like trying to touch your boobs and she's
like no, no, no, not right now, later later, real quick predictions. Yeah,
she's gonna break up with them.

Speaker 3 (10:17):
I think so too.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
I think she's gotta have a conversation with him. And
then they break up because he's like no, no, how
dare you.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
It's one of those scary breakups. Oh, don't leave me.
I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself.

Speaker 3 (10:28):
Yeah, because he's incapable of anything. But we've got an
update two months later. I'll save you some scrolling. We
broke up.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
Oh nice.

Speaker 3 (10:37):
Some more background. My ex graduated with a degree in
bio medicine last.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
Year from where Chad gpt University, but never.

Speaker 3 (10:47):
Actually looks for work in his field. As far as
I know, this didn't strike me as a problem at first,
since he's always taken care of himself just fine, and
he never seemed that enthusiastic about his degree anyway. I
spent several years after high school working odd jobs while
I figured out what to do with my life. I'm
most of the way through nursing school right now, so
who am I to judge?

Speaker 2 (11:07):
Right?

Speaker 3 (11:07):
But gradually I just got more and more of a
sinking feeling about things, mostly because he kept talking about
how he wanted to get a PhD and become a professor,
and I felt professorship was a pretty optimistic goal for
even the most brilliant of students. But how do you
tell your boyfriend you think their dreams are wildly unrealistic?
So he decided he was going back for his master's No.

(11:31):
After I posted the original thread, I realized I'd never
really spoken to him about his negativity while we were
both calm, So I sat him down one day and
told him that while I was always going to be
there for him in times of real distress, I couldn't
take all this complaining anymore about his coworkers, about my housemates,
about his housemates, about losing a games, about the train system,
about math, about arts majors. Apparently they all work at Starbucks.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
The train system.

Speaker 3 (11:57):
Yeah, he hates the train system. So it doesn't come
when I wanted to come so frustrated.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
Dude, that one they haven't apped for that. To be
an adult, you do have to have a certain IQ
just to understand how things move around.

Speaker 3 (12:10):
And it doesn't seem like he has that. The one
time I pointed out the irony of this, he went
real quiet and later told me I really hurt his
feelings and to not strike such low blows in the future.
Guess I missed a heck of a red flag. I
told him it was exhausting to constantly have to attend
to one crisis or another, and that perhaps he could

(12:30):
benefit from seeing a therapist. In addition to everything else,
he'd also had depression on and off, and I figured
it was a good chance to learn better coping skills. Oh,
that's a good suggestion.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
I like that.

Speaker 3 (12:42):
Well, that didn't go over well at all. He immediately
accused me of not caring about his feelings and said
he should be able to say whatever he wanted to me,
and that psychologists just want to give you happy pills
to make you think like everyone else.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
You can't speak negativity all the time.

Speaker 3 (12:58):
When I told him psychologists aren't licensed to prescribe medication,
he went silent for a while. And so it doesn't matter.
They still just want to convince you it's fine to
be a loser and everything's okay with you. I asked
him if he thought he was a loser, and he
said he doesn't think he's a loser. He just thinks
it's important to stay aware of your flaws and punish
yourself when you mess up, which is why he runs

(13:19):
so much. He's dobby.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
What so that's why he's going to outdoorsy stuff. Yeah,
that's how he copes.

Speaker 3 (13:27):
That's how he punishes himself.

Speaker 2 (13:29):
What this is such a horrible cycle. Yeah, please go
see a professional, dude.

Speaker 3 (13:35):
At that point, I ended the conversation because I didn't
know what to say. The other thing that had been
bothering me progressively more is that he was currently taking
units so he could start his master's next semester. But
it struck me as kind of weird that he had
to take math and science preres considering he already had
a degree in biomedicine. I'm pretty sure he graduated. He
has a photo of himself in his gown on Facebook,

(13:57):
but every time I try to ask and wave it
away like he was hiding something. Stop did he graduate?
I was wondering how this guy graduated? Really, I don't
know if he graduated, he would have got that far.
Maybe the only thing he's good at is lying. Of
all the problems in our relationship, this was the only
one that made me feel like I might be nuts,
because for all I knew, there was a perfectly simple explanation.

(14:20):
But why the evasiveness? Anyway, reading back, everything I wrote
feels super weird because there's a lot of crazy crap
and it's like, well, sure that happened, but it wasn't
like that. But maybe it was after my failed attempt
at talking. I felt like a giant dumb butt for
not realizing the relationship was doomed from the start. But
I was dreading actually breaking up with him until the

(14:43):
boat ride Dawn.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
What happened at the boat ride, Well, something's about to sink.

Speaker 3 (14:49):
In my town. There are a few places you can
hire a little sail boat for an hour and sail
around on the water in the summer, fun couples activities.
That sounds great, I want to do that, or can
I run a little sit boat anywhere? Before the horrible talk,
we'd made plans to do this and he didn't know
I was going to break up with him, and I
was still clinging to the hope of fixing our relationship.
So we went sailing. All went well for about ten

(15:12):
minutes until we had to turn the boat, and of
course turning a sailboat can be tricky if you've never
done it before. As we were trying and failing to
turn the boat, I could see him getting more and
more agitated, and I tried to lighten the mood by
joking about our struggles, and he replied with something like, oh, sure,
it's fine to be crappy at things. Who needs standards?
And I should have known not to expect to be

(15:34):
good at sailing.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
Who this kind of mindset towards yourself is not helpful either, Bro,
Oh what is happening?

Speaker 3 (15:41):
Oh? He just has like no call or sorry, nope,
he's boyfriend just has no confidence and also he's bad
at everything.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
Stick with one thing.

Speaker 3 (15:49):
It also just feels like every time he tries something new,
he immediately gives up. Ah, yeah, I could see that,
and so like he never actually learns how to be
good at something. But there is a little bit left too.
Who this story? What were you final thoughts?

Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yes? What would you say to this guy to kind
of help build up his confidence? He's at a very
low point.

Speaker 3 (16:08):
What would you therapist? Yeah, a tutor in something I
don't know. Pick one thing and then get a tutor
in that and stop being a baby. Wake up, don't
be a whiny baby anymore. That's my advice for him.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
Yeah, he really does have to see someone because this
like cycle he's going through is not very helpful, no
or healthy. It's not gonna do good much for him.

Speaker 3 (16:29):
But you don't have to be with him while he
figures that out. So let's finish the story. I told
him there's no reason he needs to be good at something.
We're just doing for fun and to just try to
enjoy the activity, something I was sick of saying, and
he was evidently sick of hearing because it set him
off on one of his rants about how he can't
do anything right and people who don't care how well

(16:50):
they do are dumb butts. Everyone is a dumb butt.
I just want him to be happy with being a
dumb butt. The boat is stupid. Sailboats are stupid. Our
town is unreasonably windy.

Speaker 2 (17:00):
Hear, he's a movie character.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
After that, he was too upset to talk and snapped
at me every time I asked him to hold her
rope or whatever, all because he had trouble turning a
higher boat. So I turned to him and yelled, you're dumped,
jumped into the water and swam back to shore.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
Just kidding.

Speaker 3 (17:17):
I only did that in my imagination. I broke up
with him a couple of days later. Oh that works too,
And there you have it.

Speaker 2 (17:24):
It would have been dramatic, it would have been fun.
He probably wouldn't have see the thing. WYOPI didn't do that.
It's if she did, he probably would have been lost
and wouldn't have ever came back.

Speaker 3 (17:33):
Yeah, it'd be like, I don't is tooing me?

Speaker 2 (17:36):
He probably would have died out there? Man?

Speaker 3 (17:38):
Where did I?

Speaker 2 (17:39):
That's so hard with dating because like, once you start
dating someone, yeah, cover some things absolutely well. You're just
dating to what you can leave If some things are
a little too much.

Speaker 3 (17:49):
Yeah, I feel like, you're you're I mean, we're talking
to the dating coaches yesterday. There will be things that
annoy you about your partner because you're with them more
than anyone else.

Speaker 1 (17:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:59):
Yeah, However, you have to kind of weigh It's like
a balance, you know, like are the scales? Are you
more annoyed by them than you are in love with them?
And in this case, it seems like he was more
annoyed by him.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
What are you annoyed with you with your partner besides
him beating you all the time.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
I'll make a list.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
I'm just kidding with me. With Angie, I have never
cried in front of her. She cries in front of me.

Speaker 3 (18:24):
Oh, I cry in front of him all the time.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
That's something I don't understand.

Speaker 3 (18:27):
I feel my emotions deeply.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
That's what she says around me. And it'll be something
like simple or she'll see something and then she'll just
start crying and I'm like, yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:36):
He never my boyfriend never cries.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
But all the time, what's going on here? It was
very nice about it, See like I am nice, but
sometimes I'm like, I get where you're coming from. I'll
give you a moment, but I can't I don't know.
I just don't do Sometimes I've never been around that.

Speaker 3 (18:50):
You just you just give him a hug.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
My whole life that just.

Speaker 3 (18:53):
You just say it's okay, baby.

Speaker 2 (18:54):
Sometimes whenever you cry, I'm like, ah, I don't know
what to do with myself. I was good though, Yeah,
but I also feel very, very uncomfortable when it happens.

Speaker 3 (19:03):
That's what we want. You should feel uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 (19:05):
My girlfriend makes me feel ashamed of my interests.

Speaker 3 (19:08):
Well are they shameful?

Speaker 2 (19:10):
My girlfriend, twenty three female and I twenty five male,
have been dating for about a year now. I love
her a lot and I genuinely care about her deeply.
I see her as my partner and my best friend,
and I have always imagined a future with her.

Speaker 3 (19:23):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
We share similar goals, values, and aspirations, and most of
the time our relationship feels supportive and loving. That's why
this situation has been weighing on me more and more
because it feels odd close. I thought we were.

Speaker 3 (19:39):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (19:40):
By the way, this comes from Adventurous Cap. Eighty six
And if you want to speak on stories, what are
the rslage? Okay, stories on suburt ets and Opie says,
I'm kind of a nerd. All right, this makes sense.

Speaker 1 (19:49):
This makes herd nerd alert, nerd alert.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
It depends on what kind of nerd could be.

Speaker 3 (19:54):
We could be fellow nerds or you could be more
of a key on type of nerd. That's supposed to
mean no, nothing, nothing.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
At all, narche stream. But my interests are things like superheroes, anime, games,
and D and D. So Mango it's like my Mango,
but mang it's like anime but in comic form.

Speaker 1 (20:11):
Comic books, but Japanese.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
I've seen them, I just never read one.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
So this is more so meat.

Speaker 3 (20:15):
Yes, I told you, See I was right. Could have
been me or you.

Speaker 1 (20:20):
It's a little bit of you. It's a little bit
of both of us, because we're both nerds.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
These are things I've liked for a long time and
they are a big part of how I relax and
enjoy myself. She is pretty much the opposite. She is
more into celebrity culture, going out, fashion, luxury or trendy things.
I do not have a problem with all of that.
I've always tried to be supportive. How do you be
supportive of this? I don't know.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
Stock a celebrity, go out, go get drinks.

Speaker 3 (20:46):
Go get drinks.

Speaker 1 (20:47):
You go girl.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
The problem is that whenever I bring up my interests,
she reacts very negatively. She will scoff and say, we're
looking annoyed.

Speaker 3 (20:55):
That's crazy. I'm sorry, you're like supporting her, And then
you're like, yeah, I was watching this anime she got
em this is.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
Just the big Bang theory.

Speaker 3 (21:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:04):
At first I thought she was just teasing, so I
tried playing along with that as a joke, but she
actually gets upset when I do it. She has told
me that she finds these interests unattractive and associates them
with guys who have bad mindsets, like misogynists or in cells.

Speaker 3 (21:19):
Well why is she dating you?

Speaker 1 (21:20):
Yeah? Exactly.

Speaker 3 (21:21):
Wait what I mean, Like, she either thinks that of
you or she doesn't. It doesn't really have anything to
do with your interest.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
Yeah, she's either into it or not.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
Yeah, that really hurt. I do not identify with any
of that, and I do not think my hobbies say
anything about my values or how I treat women. I'm
not asking her to like the same things I like.
I just want basic respect to not feel judged or
gross for enjoying them. There have also been moments that
make me wonder if this is partly about image, which

(21:50):
seems like that's pretty important to her.

Speaker 1 (21:51):
Have you met any of her friends or family yet?

Speaker 3 (21:54):
Yeah, she like showed you off to anyone? Are you
a secret?

Speaker 2 (21:57):
For example, I am using a old iPhone and I
want to upgrade to a flagship Android phone. She keeps
pushing me to get an iPhone instead, even though it's
not the latest model. She says this is because she
prefers using eye message, but in my country, iPhones are
also a status symbol. She has mentioned before that appearances

(22:18):
matter a lot to her because of how she grew up,
which makes me unsure what the real issue is. Why
are you with her?

Speaker 3 (22:25):
She doesn't like you. I don't feel like you really
like her.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
And y'all aren't enjoying the same things. It seems like,
is she just hot?

Speaker 3 (22:33):
I think so. I think she's like there, you know,
she cares deeply about her appearance and about how she
looks to the general public.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
How do they start dating?

Speaker 3 (22:41):
Maybe op is attractive as well, and she's like, well,
you look hot, but you like these unhot things.

Speaker 1 (22:46):
Maybe he wasn't like outwardly like I love these things.
And then they started dating, and she started noticing he's.

Speaker 2 (22:52):
Probably got that Atlantic dude vibe to him. Oh Atlantis
like my leow hatch, I can see that lately, I
noticed that I hesitate to talk about things I enjoy
around her, or I downplay parts of myself to avoid
that reaction. I do not want to feel ashamed of
who I am in my own relationship. How do bring
this up in a way that sets boundaries without turning
it into a fight. Is this something that can realistically

(23:14):
be worked through? Or does this point turn to a
deeper incompatibility.

Speaker 3 (23:19):
I think it's an incompatibility.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
What do we always say about people being themselves in relationships?

Speaker 3 (23:25):
So feel it. Be yourself, be true to who you are.

Speaker 1 (23:29):
Be true to yourself because in a.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
World where a lot happens and people feel overwhelmed because
you can't do anything, and like ninety nine percent of
the things that happen around you are not your responsibility.
So the one percent of things that is your responsibility
and you can do something about, embrace it.

Speaker 3 (23:44):
I think it's okay if she were to lightheartedly make
fun of your interests, which is what you were saying
you thought she was doing. But if she's actually making
you feel bad, insulting your interests. It doesn't feel like
she's a good match.

Speaker 2 (23:58):
Kroy Love says he needs an another nerdy girl or
gamer girl who gets him.

Speaker 1 (24:03):
Or at least supports what you enjoy.

Speaker 2 (24:05):
Angie, for example, knows nothing about basketball, but she will
watch it with me, and I will explain every little
thing that happens around there.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
I know. The thing is like opposites attract, y'all, y'all
are opposites, and it seems like y'all aren't really attracting.

Speaker 3 (24:18):
Yeah, yeah, it seems like you are repelling.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
Yeah, opposites attract when they see have mutual respect exactly.

Speaker 3 (24:26):
That's a great point.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
It doesn't have to be like, oh, she loves anime,
D and D all this stuff, but she at least
respects it and like you're like, oh, yeah, have fun,
Like that's so cool, Like maybe shows a little bit
of interest.

Speaker 3 (24:36):
Yeah, she's not ashamed.

Speaker 1 (24:37):
Bingo.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
You know what? This girl reminds me of the jealous
emoji in Riley's head in In and Out?

Speaker 1 (24:42):
Is it discussed discussed or is it on we?

Speaker 2 (24:44):
Oh I haven't seen it on me, so Yellow Star
ninety three asked the question We're all thinking, I'm confused
how you even started dating this girl if y'all are
so different?

Speaker 1 (24:54):
Thank you?

Speaker 2 (24:55):
Like, what do y'all talk about? Sounds boring and demoralizing? Oh,
he says. We bonded over food and movies. We are
both big setophiles, people that like to watch movies, and
I love cooking while she enjoys going out and trying
new food. We also share similar life goals, which is
why this is hard for me. The issue isn't lack

(25:16):
of overlap, it's feeling judged for certain interests. And seven
days later we talked.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
Oh boy, I hope it's a breakup. Talk. My two scenarios.
One it's you break up, or two it's actually that
episode in psych where they go find their friend who's
like a big alien nerd, but he's like all hot
now and pretends like he's not interested in that stuff,
and so he hides it from his girlfriend, who's also hot.

(25:41):
But then at the end of the episode they realize
that they're both in love with the nerd stuff and
they were both hiding it from each other.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
Breakup or she is jealous. Seven days later, we talk, like,
actually talked, not just surfule level fixing things for the night.
Finally told her straight up how it feels when she
crapped on my interests. That it is not just a
small joke to me. Every time she scoffs or say
use it chips away at me, it makes me hesitate

(26:08):
to share parts of myself. I told her that I'm
scared that if it kept happening, it could build resentment
over time, and that is not something I want in
our relationship. She listened and owned up to it. She
explained a lot of the people she has encountered who
are really into the same hobbies I've made misogynistic remarks
or behaved in ways that made her uncomfortable. Because of

(26:29):
those experiences, she has built this association in her head,
and a part of her reaction came from being afraid
I might share those traits or eventually show them. I
told her, I understood where that fear came from, but
applying it to me felt unfair. I explained that it
felt like I was being judged based on a spatereotype
rather than who I actually am. Because you could do

(26:50):
the stereotype of oh, you're just a valley girl, you
just like eating your vegan stuff. You just like run
around in your convertible prius.

Speaker 3 (27:01):
I wish I had a convertible prius.

Speaker 1 (27:03):
Is there a convertible prius.

Speaker 3 (27:04):
I'm gonna look it up.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
I don't think I've don't I think I've ever seen.

Speaker 3 (27:07):
A I'm gonna look it up. I want one.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
You want to go? Of course?

Speaker 3 (27:10):
Oh there is a convertible Wait, no, hold on, I
don't think there is. The Toyota Prius is, but it's
not available as a convertible.

Speaker 2 (27:18):
I told her she knows me well enough by now
that I'm not like those people. The conversation got emotional
and deeper than just hobbies. We talked about insecurities, fears,
and how we affect each other. It got heavy and
we both ended up crying, and we agreed to be
more mindful with how we speak to each other, including
her or not diminishing the things I enjoy. Fast forward
to recently. I was telling her about my day and

(27:39):
kind of testing the waters without making a big deal
out of it. I mentioned that I watched an anime
while working. I work remotely. Normally that might get a reaction,
but this time she just kind of asked about it.
What She asked if it was something I watched as
a kid, and whether I enjoyed it. No, scoffing, No,
you just curiosity.

Speaker 3 (27:58):
She's learning. What do you mean you can teach a
dog new tricks an old dog.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
It sounds small, but I noticed it immediately and appreciated
it a lot. I'm not declaring victory or anything. I
just see it as a positive step, and I hope
it reflects a real shift rather than something temporarily. Yeah,
me too, Also addressing something I saw a lot people
saying I'm putting up with her because she is hot,
or calling her shallow. Yes, I think she is conventionally attractive,

(28:28):
but no, that is not why I'm with her, And no,
she is not shallow. She enjoys fashion and material things.
It's just part of how she expresses herself and how
she wants to be seen. It has never hurt her finances,
and she's always been mindful about spending. She talks things
through with me before buying stuff cheap or expensive. Do
you like this?

Speaker 3 (28:47):
I feel like we're seeing growth, and you know, you
got to keep an eye on her because then she reverts.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
It's only seven days, though that's true, she could revert.

Speaker 3 (28:54):
However, she could continue on with all of the growth
growth that she gained.

Speaker 2 (28:59):
That was a very insight thing. This is something you
watched as a kid or just recently got. I mean,
she's wanted to kind of talk to you about it,
because if it was something like, oh, what was it?
Kind of anime? Was it that? That's that question she asked,
seemed a little bit more deeper.

Speaker 3 (29:11):
She was interested. That's a good thing.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
Honestly, I do not think this is that different from
how many of us express ourselves through our hobbies. People
buy expensive collectibles or gear. Yes, it is for personal enjoyment,
but we also enjoy when others appreciate it or think
it is cool. Wanting to be seen or validated is human,
not something exclusive to one type of interest. I am
not pretending everything is magically solved now. I just want

(29:35):
to share that we had an honest conversation, Emotions were
on the table, accountability happened on both sides, and I
have seen a small behavioral shift since I'm paying attention
to consistency going forward. That was kind of a happy ending,
no breakup.

Speaker 3 (29:50):
Yeah, I it was unexpected. I didn't believe in her
and she did it so really good, Anya, and I
hope that you continue. Maybe you watch the anime together,
or maybe that's that's too much for her so far.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (30:03):
I could see them watching it together.

Speaker 3 (30:04):
Maybe start her off with some like less weird ones.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
I don't even know which one that's not that weird.

Speaker 3 (30:10):
I do skip them over. It's super cute and I
love it. There's feel like also like Hi hike is
another good one.

Speaker 2 (30:18):
Hiku hike.

Speaker 1 (30:19):
It's a volleyball one.

Speaker 2 (30:20):
Oh yeah, that basketball one. They made a soccer one,
basketball one.

Speaker 1 (30:24):
Volleyball, baseball one. There's a lot of there's a lot
of them.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
I'd lose myself. I'm already too busy as it is,
Like I can only play one video game. I'm trying
to work on other things outside of work. I've done
this thing recently. One hobby is I cook something new
every week. Nice. Well that's the end of that story.
We got another one, sure do. Hey, this is Riley,
your favorite Southern biale. We're gonna get back to these stories,
but here's three minutes worth of that for our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (30:50):
I'm not sure about my boyfriend anymore because he refused
to drive me around.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
You deserve to be a passenger princess.

Speaker 3 (30:56):
Long story short is that I, twenty three female, offered
a seizure and was diagnosed with brain cancer because of
an orange sized tumor I had.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
Oh my gosh, Wow, that's that's crazy.

Speaker 3 (31:09):
I recently got the tumor taken out, and due to
the seizure that I had, I won't be able to
drive for a while, so I don't have any way
to get to my appointments or go to the grocery
store without taking public transport. Uber and after chemotherapy, that's
not the best option, especially with the VID and having cancer,
my immune system is even worse than normal. By the way,
this comes from deleted and if you want to smit

(31:31):
your own stories, go to the arslash. Okay, storytime suppered
and we're here to give good advice scoofley, But we
don't have all the answers. We only know what we do.

Speaker 1 (31:38):
So let us know what you.

Speaker 3 (31:38):
Would do in the comments and do be sets. Now
here's the problem. I asked my boyfriend twenty four mail,
who has been unemployed for the last couple of years.
His parents pay for everything and he lives with them
about two hours from where I live because I moved
for college. If he could move in with me for
three months to help me with driving, et cetera. He
wouldn't be paying for anything because I have rent paid

(32:00):
for the next few months in my apartment and he
lives with his parents, so he wouldn't have to make
a huge move or anything. Just bring enough clothes and
necessities and maybe some food. But I have most of
that cover too.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
This is a big ask.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
Yeah, but he doesn't work and he would be living
there for free. Still, I don't think this is a
crazy ask.

Speaker 2 (32:19):
Okay, hear me.

Speaker 3 (32:20):
I've been together, hair me out.

Speaker 2 (32:21):
This is a big ask for him, not a normal person,
but for him, someone that's not working and living with
their parents. You're asking them to help you and take
care of you.

Speaker 3 (32:29):
He's like, I've never taken care of anyone who do
or done something for anyone other than myself.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
Dude, he doesn't know how to take care of himself.
Yeah he doesn't.

Speaker 3 (32:36):
That's true.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
He's not taking care of himself. His parents are taking
care of him. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (32:39):
I don't know if I could date someone who was
like unemployed and also had no desired, Like, is he
doing anything to not be unemployed, like, does he have
any goals?

Speaker 2 (32:50):
You could pick one and they both have to be
first season. Yeah, and your goal should be to have
neither can only be unemployed or he can only live
with your parents, but your goal should be to move
out or define a job exactly.

Speaker 3 (33:01):
I agree. I feel like you should want to have
goals and I don't know. Yeah, Op, are you okay
with him not having any? I didn't think this was
a huge ask since I lived with him and his
family for three months for other reasons at the beginning
of the year, but he got really upset, saying he
can't leave his family during the VID even though his
whole family is together and they all have each other
and I'm completely alone in another city with no support system.

(33:24):
I got upset at his response and cried a lot
and told him I felt like he didn't care about
me because he always puts his family ahead of me,
and I really need him now and if he's going
to be that way, I'm not sure if I want
to be with him.

Speaker 2 (33:37):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (33:38):
I also did put him down and said he has
no backbone, and now I haven't talked to him for
a day because of it, and I'm not sure if
I should apologize and say it's okay that he won't
drive me, if I have anything to apologize for, or
if I'm justified for being upset at him? Am I
the a hole here? And we've got comments? But what
do you think?

Speaker 2 (33:55):
You're basically asking a teenager take care of you. He
still live with his parents, he can still do things,
and of course he's gonna put his family first because
it's paid.

Speaker 3 (34:03):
Yeah, he's like, I have to put I gotta take
care of my family because they are taking care of
me right now.

Speaker 2 (34:10):
And you have to understand this is a big ask.
If my girlfriend asked me, hey, could you move in
with me for three months? I would see anything I
could do. Hey, guys, can I come here for two
days out of week, three days out of a week?
What can I do?

Speaker 3 (34:21):
You know?

Speaker 2 (34:22):
Blah blah blah blah blah. Can she move in with me?
I try to move around everything she can't? I can. Yeah,
but it does seem like this guy's not looking at
his options of what he can do for you.

Speaker 3 (34:30):
Four months that I was dating my boyfriend, this is
we weren't even official. I was driving him a lot
of places because he didn't have a car, and I
wanted to do that and I wanted to.

Speaker 1 (34:37):
Be helpful, and you're like, I will get to spend time.

Speaker 3 (34:40):
With him, yea, And it feels like he won't even
do this, despite having no job, no reason why he
couldn't do this.

Speaker 1 (34:48):
A lot of people are asking how old are they?
Uh OPI's twenty three and boyfriend's twenty four comment.

Speaker 3 (34:53):
One, are you sure you want to be with a
man who wants you to remain alone in a city
and take yourself to and from keemo therapy appointments while
he hangs out with his family having a good time.
This doesn't sound like a man you should remain in
a relationship with. And even if you stayed with him,
I'm not sure if you would ever really get over
how he left you alone to deal with cancer when

(35:14):
he had nothing truly stopping him from being there. I
would have to go with not the ale. In my opinion,
your response wasn't that harsh, and priorities have to be
discussed at some point, and he showed you his Oh
if he says thank you for your opinions. I love
him a lot and I think to his core he's
a good person. But I agree with you that it
is important for me to think about what I need

(35:34):
and what I want from a relationship, and the same
on his end. I do regret saying the mean things
I said, so I wish I could take that back.
I also agree that I might hold a grudge deep
down or maybe some resentment from this, and that worries
me about the future of our relationship. Comment who says
not the ale a good partner would be bending over
backwards to help and support you after receiving a diagnosis

(35:56):
like that. It sounds like this isn't the first time
he's let you down with giving you the care and
attention you need. And I also see from your post
history that he also totally ignored your last birthday. What
he sounds quite selfish, and now he's shown he won't
be there for you when you need him most ohp
He says thank you and yes, I came to this
thread before because most of my friends are also friends

(36:17):
with him, and I don't want to make his friends
think of him badly, so it's easier to talk to
strangers for advice. I think he doesn't see him selfish
because he's using his family as an excuse but I
also think it comes from a lack of maturity and experience.
We are very different when it comes to independence, as
I have been on my own since eighteen, which isn't
his fault. And I'm happy as a family who loves

(36:40):
and supports both of us. But I also want him
to support me too, And we've got an edit.

Speaker 2 (36:45):
I like, I forgot to put that much weight on
that op. He has cancer, so.

Speaker 3 (36:49):
That's the main reason she needs him to drive her.
Oh my gosh, because she had a stroke and she
can't try herself.

Speaker 2 (36:54):
I mean, I knew she had cancer, but like looking
at it now and hearing from these other people, it's
so much worse. Guy, you last birthday? Yeah, oh, come
with them? Oh he should have broken up with him
for forgetting your last birthday. If he's a good person
who is core, then he would help his girlfriend who
has cancer is going through a very scary time right now.

Speaker 3 (37:10):
But he's not a good boyfriend.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
His parents forgot to tell him.

Speaker 3 (37:13):
You didn't tell me it was your birthday. I didn't know.

Speaker 2 (37:15):
Forgot to tell me to take you to your cancer appointment.

Speaker 1 (37:18):
She forgot to put it in my calendar.

Speaker 3 (37:20):
She's supposed to drive you to your cancer appointment and
then pick me up ice cream.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
This is what happens when you don't pair it good
and you don't build your kids up for success.

Speaker 3 (37:28):
They are just kind of useless. It'll be this guy.
Someone didn't believe me. So here's a picture. I'm three
weeks post operation and due to start chemotherapy and radiation
in a couple of weeks as my oncologists and I
make a plan for my care. Luckily, brain cancer is
actually one of the most survivable cancers.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
Oh good to know.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
I didn't think that.

Speaker 3 (37:48):
And the tumor that I have, APXA, has a high
rate of survival, no recurrence after treatment, and primary brain
tumors rarely spread. I had a cranyotomy, so basically they
cut up in my skull and sucked out as much
of the tumor they could and the fluid that surrounded it.
And we've got an update.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
Do we want a picture of what of her? It's
a scar on her head.

Speaker 3 (38:10):
I don't know if I want to see it.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
I don't think I want to see And.

Speaker 3 (38:13):
This boyfriend is not supportive of you, and therefore, you know,
not a good person to continue to spend.

Speaker 1 (38:19):
Your life that's crazy. People in the anwh were like,
we don't believe you have brain cancer.

Speaker 3 (38:23):
I ended up giving up my job because I wasn't
able to come in anymore and move back to my parents' house.
I gave up my apartment and basically all of my
autonomy because my recovery process is definitely going a lot
slower than I wanted or intended, and my savings ran out.
The most important thing is getting healthy. I wish I
had a better update and that I was happier and

(38:45):
feeling better. My parents take me to my appointments that
happen every couple weeks, but they live four hours from
my hospital, so I have to make that trip every
week with them to get my treatment. I am consistently
nauseous because of all the medicine I'm taking, and mentally
clouded because of my anti seizure substances. I talked to
my boyfriend after posting, and he did admit that seeing

(39:05):
me in pain and as sick as I am is
really scary for him, and that was a large part
of the reason that he did not want to move
in with me during this time. I understand, and I
can see how terrible it would be to see your
partner in this way. So I understand. I am still
with my boyfriend, but our relationship is strained and I'm
not sure with the future holds. I have not seen
him in person since June when he first visited me

(39:27):
after my surgery for a couple days, but he plans
to come see me soon again at my parents' house.
He does feel badly about me losing my apartment, and
he did show me he is trying to start a
freelance business to make money so that he can help
me move back out and hopefully into a place with him,
but I'm not quite sure if that will happen anytime soon.
There is a little bit left to the story.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
But I just thought about my life if I went
to the doctor and they told me I had six
months left to live, and I was just playing that
for the last little bit. I totally didn't hear anything.

Speaker 3 (39:58):
Well, they're not breaking up, and it seems like he
has said, Oh, I was just scared, and that's why
I didn't want to stay with you. Ah don't know,
I don't know, selfish.

Speaker 2 (40:08):
Very selfish, way more scared. Yeah, you're way more scared.

Speaker 1 (40:13):
I was gonna say, yeah, he's not the one going
through brain cancer right now and going through all the
all the medical things. He's just there on the sidelines
at home doing nothing.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
And he told you that he's going to try and
start a business. Well, let's see if he actually does that.

Speaker 2 (40:27):
Fun fact, in order to start a business, she probably
work for one for a little bit. Learn Do you.

Speaker 3 (40:33):
Have any qualifications? There's a little bit left to this story.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
I can't physically.

Speaker 3 (40:37):
I'm starting to do better. Yeah, And if everything goes well,
I'll finish my radiation in September and hopefully my scans
come up with no regrowth. I will have to get
MRI scans for the next five years every three to
six months to monitor my brain, and then annually after
five years until my doctors believe I am in total
permission and hopefully eventually cured. Thank you again everyone who

(41:00):
reached out and gave advice before edit. I appreciate the
responses and everyone's advice and opinions they have given I
posted here and I value every judgment. Well, please remember
I am a human being and I wanted to give
an update despite it not being a popular outcome from
my decisions. I take full responsibility for that, and I
feel badly that some of you are genuinely upset that
I did not take the advice given to me, And

(41:22):
for that I am sorry.

Speaker 2 (41:23):
She's stuck in a loop. Where does this guy have
to get on?

Speaker 3 (41:25):
Nothing, not that he forgot your birthday.

Speaker 1 (41:27):
He only offers you more stress and more questions.

Speaker 3 (41:30):
Yeah, and he's bringing me questions like why are you
still together?

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Godley.

Speaker 3 (41:33):
That is the end of that story, folks. High survivability
in brain cancer is normally because of early detection, not
because it's not dangerous.

Speaker 2 (41:42):
I would thinking like, if it's right there at the brain,
the brain has everything. My cousin has to be a
fight cancer for ten years, was in remission for two
of those years, but it came back worse.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
Dang that sucks.

Speaker 2 (41:53):
I have a story about being the by od side
of a family member who also has brain tumor. It
changed them for the worst.

Speaker 3 (41:59):
Unfortunately, a lot of times, cancer in general can change
personality and stuff, but especially brain tumors because it's you know,
obviously attached.

Speaker 2 (42:07):
Hey, it's Smiley riding of the hear from Okay, storytime,
We're gonna get back to these stories. But here's three
minutes worth of ads from our sponsors. I told everyone
I'm over my ex, but I'm secretly stalking his instagram.

Speaker 3 (42:20):
A tale as old as time.

Speaker 2 (42:22):
I'm writing about the following situations. You reached out to
your ex and they're not responding to you. You are
frustrated that your ex didn't reach out to you. You
were blocked by your ex full block, partially blocked, blocking, unblocking, whatever.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
Op op op, Come on, pee.

Speaker 2 (42:40):
There's a reason that doesn't really matter who the dumper
or dumpy in my opinion is for the situations above.
But of course there is some nuance in this, as
you are sure you have pondered already. So Ope, you
got dumped. We get it.

Speaker 3 (42:53):
She's like, like, it doesn't matter who dumped who.

Speaker 1 (42:56):
This is coming from a friend.

Speaker 3 (42:58):
Yeah, this is this is not.

Speaker 2 (42:59):
About me, by the way, this comes from a melon
pie forty four. And if you want to make your
ow stories, go to your slash okay stories. I'm super
at it and we're goofy. You give comments. Hope, he
says some background. I was dumped.

Speaker 3 (43:10):
Wow, what we didn't know that.

Speaker 2 (43:13):
I'm heartbroken. I love Slash, loved him so much. I
wanted to be back whether that's love or ego is
a story for another day. Luckily I'm working through it
with a professional help and self care practices. We were
together for three years. Bang he dumped me over text?
You didn't have the decency.

Speaker 3 (43:33):
That's tough.

Speaker 2 (43:34):
Three years We were pretty serious. He dumped me in
January for many reasons, but ultimately it was incompatibility. I think,
I think, I think, ope, you're overthinking this.

Speaker 1 (43:44):
How do you?

Speaker 2 (43:45):
I think? Is it because of incompatibility.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
Or maybe underthinking this? Possibly she'd like there was no incompatibility.
We were great.

Speaker 3 (43:53):
We wh did he say?

Speaker 2 (43:53):
To text? A few weeks after the breakup. I begged,
then was rejected, ouch for sure, still recovering out to
never initiate contact again. Now I want to analyze a
few scenarios. Scenario one. A few weeks later, he throws
a breadcrumb, one of those hope you're okay type messages.
I respond in a few days with my own breadcumb.
What I waited because I.

Speaker 1 (44:15):
Want breadcumb was not on my bingo card today. And
you know what, thank you for that shout out to
your dyslexia, because that was hilarious.

Speaker 2 (44:23):
Is that what I said?

Speaker 1 (44:24):
You said bread cumb. Bro.

Speaker 2 (44:27):
Oh God, this is what happens when you have dyslexia
and you don't sleep well at night or at all.
I waited because I wasn't sure what to do, and
also because I don't feel any obligation to respond quickly
to him. Fun fact, Op, how many people are there
in the world? A lot, mainly people she might be
attracted to two hundred.

Speaker 1 (44:46):
No, there's only one person for OP, and it's her,
I mean him.

Speaker 2 (44:50):
Four billion men in this world, you have a chance
four billion.

Speaker 3 (44:53):
Should you think that she's going to be attracted to
four billion men?

Speaker 2 (44:56):
One of them?

Speaker 3 (44:57):
I think she's it is one of them. The four
I think of the eighth probably gonna be like two
hundred scenario.

Speaker 2 (45:02):
Two exactly thirty days go by key and he reaches
out again with similar breadcrumb. But this I'm in question
for him. Are you okay? This is about a month
and a half ago. I never responded, good job.

Speaker 1 (45:15):
I thought he blocked? Did he did he block you?

Speaker 3 (45:17):
No?

Speaker 2 (45:18):
I ignored it. I do not ever plan on responding
to that. It could be just a moment of weakness
on his side, or what if he doesn't respond after
I respond?

Speaker 3 (45:28):
Oh, boy.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
All imagined rhoades only led to one path pain. And
I know you may be thinking, isn't it cruel to
ignore the acts? No, I did not think that he
dumped me. He chose that a life without me is
better than a life with me. He made his bed,
now he can go lie in it.

Speaker 1 (45:42):
Scenario three, All the scenario should be I never talked
to him ever. Again.

Speaker 3 (45:47):
This is just like classic breakup. You want to talk
to them, they text you despite breaking up with you,
and then you have to say okay. At a certain
point you have to say this is not good for me,
and you say stop texting me, or you blocked them.
Those are the options for you, because otherwise you're going
to be torturing yourself.

Speaker 2 (46:03):
Next days after Sineia two, at the encouragement of some
friends and my therapist and me witnessing myself wasting my
young life, refreshing my ex's private messages on Instagram, watching
the numbers go up and down, I realized that I
needed to block him from my own piece, not because
I don't want him or don't care about him, because
I'm devastated and I need to begin with picking up

(46:24):
the pieces. Honestly, it helped scenario four. Since then, I've
been unblocking and blocking like a maniac. Yeah, not good,
but I am. I'm not playing games with him or
trying to provoke him. I'm just a loose cannon. And
there's not much more to it than that analysis slash conclusion.
I've not reached out. I've ignored him. I have un
blocked and blocked him not to play games. Not because

(46:46):
I have moved on, not because I don't love him anymore,
but because I'm hurt and I have it recovered, and
I don't want to risk getting hurt more.

Speaker 1 (46:52):
But you're doing that to yourself. Yeah, you're doing that
to yourself.

Speaker 3 (46:56):
Keep the blocked the girl.

Speaker 2 (46:58):
You blocking and unblocking him is still a pathway of
communication in your mind.

Speaker 3 (47:03):
Yeah, you cannot have any line of communication open. We
learned yesterday it was like twenty seven days or something
from our matchmaker friends. They said, you got away twenty
seven days after a breakup before any communication.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
Extreme cut off, like no no contact, no contact, no
looking at them, nothing, don't look at the messages nothing.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
I like that too. The unknown potential of reconciliation is
not worth than me further getting hurt. I am aware
that he could be thinking, Wow, she doesn't care, she
moved on. My chances to get back with her are
short if he wanted to reconcile, or he could be thinking, oh,
what a relief she left me alone.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
What matters of what he thinks?

Speaker 2 (47:41):
Ope, he doesn't want to get back together with you,
is opek white young? I believe so also, Opie. You
blocking and unblocking is sort of like you being at
the bridge with the lever, you know, put opening the
bridge like doors or not, just close them and.

Speaker 3 (47:54):
Walk away, close that mote. Yeah, really, Yeah, he doesn't
want to get it back together with you. He either
feels guilty because he broke up with you over text,
wants to make sure that you're okay after he did
a bad thing to you, or he I don't know,
like wants attention from someone he had been getting attention
from for three years. But either way, I don't think

(48:16):
either of those means that he wants to get back
together with you.

Speaker 2 (48:19):
What the truth is, He'll never know what my true
intent is, and I'll never know his note. I might
respond to him if it wasn't a bread crumb, if
he straight up said, hey, I want to talk I
miss you and want to consider things again.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
Who cares if it's a bread crumb, Who cares? If
it's a loaf of bread? Who cares? It's the whole
dang bakery.

Speaker 3 (48:37):
He's not gonna do that.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
What you do is move on?

Speaker 3 (48:39):
Yeah, you move on.

Speaker 2 (48:40):
In other words, he needs to be the vulnerable one first,
because I'm still picking up my self dignity that was
hit by a truck and left to rod on this
side of the road. I don't care what those YouTube
coaches say about. But what if that is his way in?
What if he's scared? Did you right end? They're testing

(49:01):
the waters and he wants you back?

Speaker 3 (49:03):
Nope, if he wanted you, he would do something about it.

Speaker 2 (49:07):
Also, what YouTube coaches are you listening to?

Speaker 1 (49:10):
I was gonna say, he's just not added to you, girl.

Speaker 3 (49:13):
Unfortunately, it doesn't really matter if a guy text you says,
here are you okay? Oh? Hey, what's up? No, unless
he tells you straight up I want to get back
together with you. He doesn't want to get back together
with you.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
Op.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
What if he wants to get back together he don't,
then I remind myself of this. This manchild broke my heart.
I gave him everything. He abandoned me. He left me
dead on the side of the road. I deserve more
than a hey are you okay? Text at one am.
If that's his sad little door he is afraid to
walk through, we deserve firework, disprays opera man singing on

(49:47):
a canal boat in venice, house full of flowers, huge gestures.
If those efforts want us back, ignoring the AREU okay
results in me and him never reuniting, then so be it.
I'm tired of dealing with a coward.

Speaker 3 (50:03):
And there you go, he's not gonna do any of that.
So you move on.

Speaker 1 (50:08):
And looks like she's kind of doing that.

Speaker 3 (50:10):
I don't know. She's still in that mindset of like.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
So is she washy? I guarantee you. Five minutes after this,
she's like, well, wait, what if I texted him? What
if he's okay at one am? Should I ask him?

Speaker 3 (50:20):
Yeah? What if he's like not? What if he's not
doing well?

Speaker 2 (50:22):
I can't think it into cancer.

Speaker 3 (50:23):
Chris the new fundder, says he dodged a bullet. The
thing is, I don't think so this is like such
classic breakup behavior. I've been in. This boat is this
classic behavior and he broke up with you over text,
like this is not a guy you want to be with.
But also you are deluding yourself if you think that
he wants to get back together. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
If you're getting the text of are you okay at one?
Am girl? That's the hey you up? Like you up? Text?
What are you doing right now? You want to come over?
Kind of yeah?

Speaker 3 (50:55):
Yeah, he misses the physical connection, feels guilty and that's it.
But we've got comments from the story Am I the
hole for going back on letting my husband adopt my
daughter because he cheated? And this was posted January third,
twenty twenty six DLDR. From story two, Opie is passing
from cancer and has one big decision left to make

(51:16):
who gets her ten year old daughter when she's gone.
Her husband of three years has been like a real
dad to the little girl, but op he just found
out he cheated four years ago. Now she's cutting him
out completely, filing for divorce and handing her daughter to
her cousin instead. The internet is not happy with her choice.
But is Ope being selfish or is she just passing
mom trying to protect her kid the only way she

(51:38):
knows how. If you're curious to know the full story,
you can go watch the full video. And I do
remember this story very vividly, and I also remember not
being super pleased with her decision. I don't remember because
it felt somewhat spiteful. Even though he did betray her,
he did seem like he really loved that little girl.
And the cousin that she was going to give the
girl to did not have enough money to old she

(51:58):
already had to.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
I remember this one, Okay, Yeah, it was just like
there was It was like, really just a lose lose
situation for everyone. Well, we have some comments for that video,
and first one here from Abigail Runquist saying, the part
about the second story that frushts me is the foster
system isn't an adoption system. People don't understand that the
foster system is set up to hold children until their

(52:19):
parents are ready to have them back. The goal is
to reunite families. The adoption system wants children to find
new families. Yes, adoption is possible after fostering, but her
child would be moved around a lot because she is older.
The fact she's considering putting her child in the foster system.

Speaker 3 (52:35):
Sorry, yeah, no, I was just saying that was crazy.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
Yeah. We were like, what do you want?

Speaker 3 (52:39):
But fosterism over like a father who loves her?

Speaker 1 (52:41):
Yeah, and she was and she was like, I'm getting
back at him. It's like it. Considering from Abigail's or
continuing from Abigail's comment here saying the fact she's considering
putting her child in the foster system knowing she doesn't
have a fighting chance is kind of shocking. I'm disabled
and chronically ill, so I can definitely say you make
some strange, in extreme choices when you're passing away. She
should have consulted a professional like a lawyer or a

(53:02):
therapist to make sure she takes her child's feelings into account.
Ten is definitely old enough to aid in that decision,
which I think we all.

Speaker 3 (53:08):
Agreed in completely agree with that comment.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
And we have more comments here. Another comment from Sarah
Zilka second story, that woman is one hundred percent in
a hole thinking of what is best for her daughter
went out the window. Be pissed, but don't let your
anger destroy the life of your child. And no way
in heck is a court going to allow your cousin
with five kids and on welfare to take an additional
burden the state will be paying for.

Speaker 3 (53:30):
That was I just can't fathom this.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
She said it was so savage she should have stayed
with Opie's husband. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
I think we all agree.

Speaker 3 (53:37):
We're like, at this point, just because he's a bad
husband doesn't mean he would be a bad father. Yeah,
doesn't seem like he has shown that.

Speaker 1 (53:42):
We have another comment here, though, from Jennifer Daniels seven
zero one, saying could the op and story two not
let him adopt her but still give him legal custody
in a will? The daughter's inheritance could be put in
a trust that only daughter can access when she's a
certain age. There are so many questions, but it just
seemed like from what I recall and Sophia because we
that is that she didn't care. She was just like,

(54:03):
I don't want anything. I don't want my hut. Was
it my ex husband or yet?

Speaker 3 (54:06):
Yeah, it was like I don't want I'm divorcing him,
I don't care.

Speaker 1 (54:08):
I don't want him involved at all. One last comment
from Terry dots Soon eleven fifty four, saying a crappy
husband doesn't mean a crappy father yep. If ill mother
isn't careful, this child might end up in the foster
care agree.

Speaker 3 (54:20):
Agree, agree, But those are all the comments we have
and this is the end of the episode, so if
you love us, make sure to subscribe.

Speaker 2 (54:28):
We love you and see you tomorrow.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My boyfriend is bad at EVERYTHING and I’m losing respect for him! | Reddit Stories | EP2652