My boyfriend shared our hobby with ANOTHER woman… then turned on me! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2653 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Angie and this is key On, your
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right up.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
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Speaker 3 (00:11):
My boyfriend shared her hobby with another woman, then turned
on me.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
Was it D and D?

Speaker 3 (00:18):
My female thirty nine boyfriend male thirty nine of five
years has picked up a hobby I dabble in. I
was excited to have a joint interest, only to find
out he's regularly doing it with a female friend while
I'm at work. By the way, this comes from soul
Siren twenty two and if you want us to make
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime subreddit.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
I'm Carly, I'm Dakota.

Speaker 3 (00:42):
We're here to give good advice goofully, but we don't
have all the answers. We really know what we would do,
so let us know you would do in the comments.
As Op says, it's an activity that can be done
solo or with someone as company. Just tell us the activity.
When I started to be bothered by the amount of
time they are spending together and at the same time,
his diminishing investment into time with me. He told me

(01:03):
that he prefers to do this activity and company, and
since I am not available, he's doing it with this person.
A couple of days ago, he proposed me to join him.

Speaker 4 (01:14):
There's the hair.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
It just really sounds so bad when ambiguous.

Speaker 4 (01:19):
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
Just tell me what sounds right.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
If it's just like you guys crochet together or something like,
just tell us that plea. I happily agreed and pointed
out that his technique got much better than mine, and
so I'm asking for some patience from him. He then
said that he will likely do it alone since he
wants to feel unrestrained and have some quality alone time.

(01:46):
We have spent forty eight hours together before after not
seeing each other all week, I pointed out that he
told me the reason he was doing it with his
female friend was because he prefers company and I'm unavailable,
but now chooses to do it alone, leaving me behind.
I also said that whenever we did it together in

(02:06):
the past, I was happy to accommodate to his skill level. Well,
I don't see that from him now, he exploded.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
He shut out.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
He exploded, accusing me of trying to back him into
a corner, saying I'm holding him to his past statements
that they have nothing to do with present day. He
feels he is free to do what he chooses in
the moment, and resents having to explain himself to me,
who he says, is trying to mess with his head.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
Really, I mean it really just sounds like it's you
and a dozen other people in a dimn room and
there's a lot of oil involved.

Speaker 3 (02:54):
He later apologized and offered to do our common hobby,
saying he was worried about me feeling self conscious regarding
my now inferior skills regarding my now inferior skill and
didn't communicate it well. He says he isn't good at
communication and that after such a long time of being together,

(03:14):
I should be more understanding of it. I find this
lack of reciprocacy less and less palatable, increasingly unfair and stressful.
How do I address this? And we have some comments,
I still.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
Don't know what we're dressed.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
I think it is like not even like with a joke,
but it's like without knowing exactly what you're talking about.
It's pretty hard to gauge because it's so ambiguous.

Speaker 3 (03:40):
It's like, what level of almost like betrayal is this?
Like is this a hobby that like takes a lot
of time. It's a hobby that like it really doesn't
make a difference if he's doing it alone, Like is.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
There like, I mean, like what level of like intimacy
is doing this with a partner? Like you know, not
like you know what I mean, not like not like
bounchy bunt wow intimacy. But it's like, are you creating
like a bond with like this other woman or like
a very.

Speaker 3 (04:08):
Talking bonding experience or is it just like we sit
in a room and do it at the same time.
Elevant comments Commenter one. It sounds like you're feeling left
out and undervalued, which is totally understandable. You deserve to
have your feelings hurt and respected, not just brushed off.

Speaker 4 (04:29):
Ope, he respond He.

Speaker 3 (04:31):
Says, I'm acting like police, and he shouldn't have to
explain himself to me that he expects nothing from me
that he doesn't give. When I point out past examples
where that is not true, he says that's different, or
says fair enough, and is mindful for a week or two.
After a while, he apologizes and says he didn't mean
to hurt me, but it keeps repeating two says, let's

(04:54):
call it.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
What it is.

Speaker 3 (04:55):
He's having an emotional affair and manipulating you when you
point out his consistencies. His explosion wasn't about feeling backed
into a corner. It was about getting caught in his lies.
The poor communicator excuse is just another manipulation tactic to
make you doubt yourself.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Some people really like getting caught their lies.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
He's gaslighting you. He does this hobby with another woman
because he prefers company, but suddenly needs alone time when
you're available, then explodes when.

Speaker 4 (05:28):
You point out this obvious contradiction.

Speaker 3 (05:31):
This isn't about communication or skill levels. It's about him
wanting to spend time with another woman while making you
feel crazy for noticing. Stop accepting his transparent excuses. He's
not worried about your inferior skill level. He's trying to
justify spending intimate time with another woman while making you

(05:52):
feel inadequate.

Speaker 4 (05:53):
This isn't about hobbies, but like it is though.

Speaker 1 (05:57):
That's why some of these comments get so off the rails,
and it's like we literally have no information about what
they're even doing like like imagine this is just like
a tech in tournament or like a Mortal Kombat tournament from.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
The beginning, Like the story is very much just like
I have a hobby. I'm not telling you that hobby.
My husband also has that hobby. He's been doing it
with some other woman. Won't do it with me, though,
what the heck?

Speaker 4 (06:18):
And like that's it.

Speaker 3 (06:19):
Like it's like it's more about like spending time with you,
Like why is he not spending time with you?

Speaker 1 (06:23):
Right?

Speaker 4 (06:24):
This is it about hobbies.

Speaker 3 (06:25):
It's about respect, and you're getting none. OPI responds, thank
you for your response. It hurts, but I needed to
hear it. Commentar three says, in regards to what OP
said about that the f so, he's basically saying I
lashed out on you because I assumed your feelings regarding
the situation and inferior skill lmao.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
Rude.

Speaker 3 (06:45):
He says he isn't good at communication and that after
such a long time of being together, I should be
more understanding of it. He's admitting he has this big
flaw in your relationship and then somehow twists it into
being your fault. You should be more understanding of it.
How about since he recognizes he has this problem, he
actually works on it himself. I also don't understand how

(07:06):
you could possibly be more understanding. You communicated your thoughts clearly,
and he responded by lashing out and accusing you of
all sorts of things. So next time he wants you
to just accept that kind of treatment? Or what? How
can you be more understanding of his inability to solve
conflict and communicate? How do I address this? Stop letting

(07:27):
him use these manipulation tactics on you. He shifts blame
and then asks you to be more understanding. If that, oh,
he says, thank you for your answer. He says he
should be free to do whatever he feels like in
the moment, and that I shouldn't hold his past statements
against him because he's free to change his mind and
do things differently than before. He first said I made

(07:49):
things too complicated, so he decided to drop it. Then
he said he was worried about me not having a
good time and rather said we don't do it. Commoner Foo,
So your boyfriend is building a new relationship with another
woman is trying to blame you for forcing him to
spend time with this other woman. Because you are not available.
Ask him how he's available to you, and maybe you

(08:11):
should reciprocate if it is all that innocent by having
your own buddy for your hobby and spend.

Speaker 4 (08:17):
Time with r O.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
Why are people so upset that, like men are able
to make friends with women and that women are able
to make friends with men. Like we need to freaking
get over that. Not every single friendship somebody makes is
like nefarious.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
Yeah, However, to like actually be serious for a second
about this story, Like, I do think it's a problem
if you go to your partner and you say, hey,
I really feel like we haven't been spending time together
and we have this shared hobby. I would love to
do this with you instead, and then him being like, well,
actually you really don't want to do it with you,
But then he's spending all his time with someone else
doing it. Yeah, that is a problem that like should

(08:54):
be fixed, right.

Speaker 1 (08:56):
I was just spewing more to that comment. But maybe
you get your own buddy. It's like, dude, it's yeah,
we don't should respond. Maybe you should just get a
friend I don't know.

Speaker 3 (09:04):
Of any gender, get two hobby horse friends. I doubt
he would like that Opie says he swore up and
down to me that he is not cheating since it
destroyed his family and he wouldn't do it to someone else.
He says he's just happy to have a friend who
shares a hobby with him and is easy to get
along with. He admitted he wouldn't like it if I
spent hours with another man every day, but he still

(09:26):
does it with her. Commenter for says, well, he could
share that hobby with you, but by now he is
more advanced, so again, you are not worth it for
him to help you level up, and you told him
you don't like it, and your opinion doesn't matter because
he still chooses himself and her over himself and you.
If a friend came to you with this story, what

(09:46):
would you say to her?

Speaker 1 (09:48):
I know what I would say to her. I'd say,
what freaking hobby are you talking about? Because that honestly
makes a world of difference.

Speaker 3 (09:55):
Does me?

Speaker 4 (09:56):
Though?

Speaker 3 (09:56):
Like, is it something that's out in public? Is it
something that's done with a bigger group of people?

Speaker 1 (10:00):
I could literally I have my own like experience with this,
and it was with pickleball, like I used to hate,
and I know you hate pickleball, But it's like it's
just in the context of like skill levels. Yeah, it's
like if you are more advanced at something like that's
like a sport like that or one on one thing,
it is extremely boring or frustrating to play with someone

(10:21):
way under your skill level. But there's no point.

Speaker 3 (10:24):
Yes, but she got him into this sport, and I
do think there's a totally fair place to be, like,
still practice with your friends, still have your good level
at this and everything. Can you do it with me
so that I can advance to your level? Show teach me,
show me, help me kind of thing.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
And it's like me personally hate teaching. I'm terrible at it,
so I'd be really bad at that. But it's like
all of that is to say, it is almost impossible
for us to give any sort of like realistically nuanced
opinion on this because we don't know what the hell
you're talking about.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
You have to take care of yourself, your own self worth,
and your own boundary. His words mean nothing if he
isn't taking your feelings into consideration and still goes and
spends more time with her. Opie says he said he
doesn't want to feel restrained needing to adapt to my
level and wants to challenge himself. When I asked if
she challenges him, the answer was, yeah, well actually no

(11:18):
in some parts. Why does it matter anyway? All right, buddy,
it's the second that you say, hey, this thing bothers me.
Can we talk about it? Can we spend more time together?
And he's just immediately like, well no, actually I like
the situation, And you're like, but I really don't. Can
we just talk about it? And he's like nah.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
But again it's like if the situation is like I
it just it really, yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:43):
I should still be excited about basketball.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
Is to pick up basketball. Playing against somebody and pick
up basketball and they are no challenge to you is
boring and not fun.

Speaker 3 (11:53):
That's fine. I don't even think that she's at this
point asking for time together doing just this hobby. She's like,
can we spend time together? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (12:02):
Well, then it sounds like it's like, also, like you
need to spend less time playing with this person. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:07):
The more I read the comments here, the more I
feel nai even stupid. Commoner five says, so you have
a hobby that you two could do together, but instead
he does it with another woman. That's so disrespectful. It's
a hobby. He could wait until you're available. He just
wants to spend time with the other woman. You should
move on and find someone who wants to spend time
with you. We have very different schedules, and they sink

(12:28):
maybe once a week and every other weekend where we
can do more than a morning cuddle and a bit
of time before going to sleep. I can understand him
doing the hobby in his off hours while I'm working,
but I resent it when we could do it together
or spend more time as a couple and he schedules.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
It with her. Yeah, that is pretty messed up.

Speaker 3 (12:46):
Or they spend hours on the hobby then meet other
friends together and still go for drinks just the two.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
Away, are you?

Speaker 3 (12:54):
I would love to have that level of engagement from him,
but I don't. We have an update December twenty, twenty
twenty five, nearly thirteen months later.

Speaker 1 (13:02):
Yeah, okay, honestly, like the very end there, Like definitely
see so it's like he's going out with his whole
group of friends and you're not like invited or you're
not going along, Like what's that about?

Speaker 3 (13:15):
So they are meeting up with the group at some
point and then going off alone again uncomfortable as.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
Heck, I take back everything I said about this guy
in any positive way, whatsoever? I think now at this
point is that happening because, like you said, your schedules
aren't syncd up and you're like working or something. Because
if that's the case, then.

Speaker 3 (13:33):
She said, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (13:33):
I can't really hold that against him.

Speaker 3 (13:35):
She said that he still chooses that even when it's
time that could be spent with her.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
If you could be at any of those places and
he's actively being like, no, what are we doing?

Speaker 4 (13:46):
About?

Speaker 3 (13:47):
A year ago, I posted about my relationship situation where
my partner got increasingly self centered with minimal to no
interest in me. I stopped investing effort that wasn't matched
as someone's adjusted and started demanding more support and accountability.
It got worse. He resented me for not being constantly available,
started being mean and disrespectful, overtly prioritizing his friends, especially

(14:10):
female ones, over me, blaming me for everything that was wrong,
telling me I'm too hard on him because he forgets
and that's not something to hold against him. He started
raising his voice at me, telling me I should just
accept whatever he does a few months ago, I went
on a really intense business trip for a couple of weeks.
Before that, he made sure he was busy and we

(14:30):
couldn't spend any real time together. He said my leaving
was not a big deal. As soon as I left,
he started spending time with his friends, especially one female.
He took time for a weekend trip days before his
biggest project of the year was due and told me
he did it because he wanted to. It finally hit
home that he wanted a maid, not someone to partner

(14:51):
with and appreciate. I confronted him about it, and he
broke up with me over the phone, saying he's bored
being with me and my happy place. No t drama
makes him profoundly miserable. It hurt, but I was done anyway.
My besties toasted to the breakup with champagne behind my back.
God bless them. Turns out they couldn't stand him and

(15:13):
how he treated me, but respected me enough to stay
silent and just support me. I love them dearly. When
he tried to back pedal, I didn't have it. He
tried dating one of the girls he was spending time
with before we broke up, shocker, shocking. It didn't go well,
just as I predicted. Now he's circling back to me,
saying we just had a crisis in communication and that

(15:34):
he learned from his mistakes. He wants to do over,
and I am not having it. Turns out my life
is calmer, more RESTful, and steady without him in it. Yeah,
you know, op, My only issue is that you haven't
told us the hobbies.

Speaker 1 (15:48):
You still haven't told us the hobby, and for that
I will not forgive you.

Speaker 3 (15:53):
Now he's trying to restart contact and pushing all the
buttons he knows used to work. He doesn't realize that
while he spent the last months working on his next conquest,
I spent them working on me, and those tricks don't
work anymore. We have some comments. Comment one, he mistook
your piece, and he mistook your piece for emptiness and
his noise for value. The trash took itself out you upgraded.

(16:15):
His do over is just a request to downgrade you again.
Stay free, Obi says, that's the plan. Thanks, downvoted commenter.
So he ended up dumping you, That's just sad, Obi says.
When I showed him, I knew what he was doing
I told him it either changes or I'm out. He apologized,
said we'd fixed it when i'd be back home, and
then he broke up with me the next day. I

(16:36):
think part of it was an effort to keep control.
I'm okay with that. I have final control of my
life and I am enjoying my drama free status. Commenter two.
He sounds like an adrenaline junkie who thrives on chaos.
You are you are well rid of him, Obi says, Yep.
He told me he was bored out of his skull
with me and just wished I would yell at him sometimes.

(16:58):
I know he'd like it because it would have given
him an excuse to yell back. It took a while
to realize that a lot of stupid disagreements we had
were just him goading me into an argument so that
he could let loose and enjoy the chaos he was controlling.
That era of my life is now over. Yeah, that's
always a freaky thing. People who just like love to

(17:20):
argue you, so they push you to the brink of arguing.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, this guy clearly sounds like
the guy who you know if there's not some sort
of problem or some sort of drama. Then it means
that like it's boring or it's no, you're not passionate enough.
There's not you know. It's like and it's the same
thing on like you know, the other side. I feel

(17:44):
like it's like the other side of the coin of
like because this one it's like this guy was clearly
trying to like create drama, but it's like the other
side of that coin, I feel like is feeling the
need to constantly overanalyze and work through like every thought
or potential, like feeling that you have in our relationship,
like because it's like, oh yeah, we just make sure
that's like super healthy, like super clear or like whatever,

(18:06):
and it's like, no, actually, you can just like vibe sometimes,
you know, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:11):
Glad you got out of there. That seemed like it
was no bueno. And that's the end of this story.
We're going to go to the next one.

Speaker 1 (18:18):
My boyfriend told me to quit my dream career, so
I secretly planned my escape.

Speaker 3 (18:23):
Good quit him.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
Anytime you have to use the word escape in the
context of a relationship with somebody, it's not a good sign. No,
So I twenty six female, I'm dating my boyfriend twenty
seven male for four years now. During our relationship, we've
made significant changes in our careers. We've met at minimum
wage jobs and after that he had opened his own business,
a renovation company, which I helped him out a lot with.

(18:47):
I wrote an EU funding application which he got. And
by the way, this comes from user existing bag eight
six five seven And if you want to submit your
own stories, go to the art slash showcase storytime subbured it.
I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, and we're here to give a
good our googly. But we don't have all the answers.
We only know what we know, So if you know
more stuff that we don't know, let us know in
the comments and op says. In the meantime, I got

(19:09):
a job at a corporate institution and got quickly promoted
as the person managing about thirty people. After two years,
I experienced awfulness treatment, resulting in a lawsuit and paid
medical leave of six months nice at the end of it.
While searching for a job opportunity, I came by air
traffic controller recruitment. I started to read about it and
I learned that ATC earned about three times the media

(19:30):
in payroll and have up to forty plus days of
paid vacation time every year. I checked what it takes
to become one and was relieved that you don't have
to have any qualifications.

Speaker 4 (19:39):
We're believed about that.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
You just have to be at the top two percent
of society in terms of spatial intelligence, multitasking, decision making
and B two English skills. So actually there's plenty of requirements.

Speaker 3 (19:53):
I'm to make myself feel better, there's a lot of requirement.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yeah, to be clear, you have to be the top
two percent in multi categories. Those are requirements. I thought
I was always good at these things. So I applied
and got an invitation for six step recruitment. Every year
there are tens of thousands of people who apply, and
literally less than ten people get into the study program. Now,
after two years, maybe two to four of them get licensed.

Speaker 3 (20:18):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
First I got to do the online test. Then I
went to the institution to do FEAST one and two
tests that's probably a fun acronym, and some more tests,
an assessment center, and finally a recruitment interview in English.
I was finally informed I got into the program. It
doesn't mean I got the job. I had to complete
very stressful and demanding courses with many tests, which failing

(20:42):
them would mean I am let go. It put a
strain on my relationship as we were living together and
I had to abruptly leave to study at the center.
For approximately a year and a half, I spend every
week commuting to my boyfriend who stayed at my house,
literally studying every living second except when I'm with him.
We've been discussing immigrating to Scandinavian countries, as he would

(21:05):
make significantly more money there, but I didn't want to
go to another country without any qualifications. With an ATC license,
I would be making one hundred and twenty thousand a
year almost anywhere. The thing is, he met someone, a
business partner, that gave him a good opportunity to leave now,
and he wants me to leave with him. I've got

(21:25):
less than a couple months to end my course. I
told him I'm staying to finish, but he insists we
have to go now because he will make good money
for sure, but I have little to no chance to
finish my course with the license.

Speaker 3 (21:36):
Okay, sounds like y'all are long distance for a couple months, then.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
Yeah, you guys already did long diest for a year
and a half. It does sound weird, sounds like he
doesn't want you to have a good job, yeah, so
that he can have all of the you know, the
weight to throw around.

Speaker 3 (21:50):
I'm sure it's more than that too. I'm sure there
was a level of like, well, we should just do
long distance again, and he was like, nah.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
It really hurt my feelings because I never doubted myself
and I believe I'm fantastic stick at this job. I
told him absolutely not, but he reiterated what I said
when we met, that I would be okay being a
stay at home mom exactly. It bu boo, somebody give
me the medal for predictive ability. I guess I was
and still am okay with that. I really love him

(22:17):
and we're a really good couple together, and I don't
want to lose him. If I choose to stay in
the program, we would be long distance almost half of
a year. I know he would make arrangements for me
to be safe financially if I relied on him. He
always showed green flags in that matter. I feel as
if I would be the a hole if I would
wait to finish my course, even if I have little
chance to do it successfully. Comment Yeah, not the a hole.

Speaker 4 (22:41):
No, not at all.

Speaker 3 (22:42):
Finish your course.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
Finish the course. Your first responsibility is to you. You
have studied really hard. You are nearly there. Get the qualifications,
get some time and experience doing the role and building
your own savings. What if his business doesn't work out?
What if he has a nasty accident and suddenly you're
the bread winner. What if if you both outgrow each
other and decide to go separate ways, future proof yourself,

(23:04):
get the qualification. You are nearly there, yeah, reply says Op.
He is talking about her boyfriend's showing green flags while
ignoring the major red ones he's showing right now. He's
trying to sabotage your success, one by trying to make
her leave before she finishes, and two trying to make
her doubt herself and her abilities. His red flags far
outweigh any green flags he's previously shown. Yeah, it is true,

(23:27):
because it's like it's hyper competitive. You've got in it,
you've been doing it for a year and a half.
You are at the finish line, and he's trying to
be like, Nah, don't finish it. It's okay. I've got
a great business opportunity, so you'll never have to make
money ever again.

Speaker 3 (23:39):
Right months after like months away from finish line is insane.

Speaker 1 (23:44):
Yep Op, you got into a program that so few
get into due to how good you are. Don't start
doubting yourself now. Ignore the ahole naysayer aka your boyfriend.
You've come this far. You can definitely successfully finish the program.
You would be the ale to yourself if you listen
to him, your future self would be so mad at you. Also,
your boyfriend doesn't sound like a safe person to be

(24:05):
financially dependent on, especially far away from home and away
from the support system that you've built. I'd advise ending
this relationship, but if you choose to stay with him,
then finish your training and don't ever be his stay
at home partner. Wow. I never expected this post to
blow up like it did. For now, I'm reading comments
and one thing is clear. I am finishing the course. Tomorrow,

(24:26):
I'll see him again and we'll talk about any solutions
for this time apart. Many of you suggested that his
new business partner is a scam, but it's not. My
boyfriend has been his contractor for months now. They are
building industrial level metal constructions for farming. The thing is
new regulations are due to happen in EU countries in
twenty twenty six, which means a lot of changes that
only so many people can do. Prices for this specialized

(24:48):
labor are absolutely insane. Now, his business partner is in
his late sixties, so he's willing to give up big
clients as he won't leave the country now. There are
hundreds of thousands of dollars to be made. My boyfriend
is employing five people who are willing to go right now. Also,
many of you suggested that my boyfriend has bad intentions
towards me and is unsupportive. I don't think that's the case.
I just think he believes it would be better for
us now. But I cannot ignore this issue when so

(25:10):
many of you see it this way. I won't assume
his intentions during our talk, and I'll try to see
what his reactions are really showing and we have an update. Oh,
I think he wants you to be the stay at
home mom and not be able to do this job.
Maybe not because he's like evil, but because he's just like, well, no,
you have to be the stay at home mom. I
have to be the one who makes up the money. Update.

(25:33):
So much has happened that I didn't have much time
to update on time. As I came home, I was
met with usual behavior from his side. We talked a
lot about our options, but one thing changed. I started
to record our talks. Then I transcribed them and put
them into Chatgypt. I know it's probably very childlike and stupid,
but somehow it opened my eyes.

Speaker 3 (25:51):
Bad bad, but it's not your therapist.

Speaker 1 (25:54):
Bad. It took Chatgypt to open your eyes.

Speaker 3 (25:56):
Don't use chat gibt as anything. Don't use it.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
The chat was sure it was a harmful relationship.

Speaker 3 (26:03):
Did we break up with this man because chat GBT
told us you had advice from how many people on
the internet before chat GBT and it took a fake
AI thing? Maybe wow Wow.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
CHATGBT wrong sixty percent of the time, by the way,
just wanted to put that out there. Anyways, it highlighted
a lot of things I didn't seem to fathom on
my own in the upcoming days. As Christmas came, I
didn't say much and let him talk as much as
he wanted. He portrayed every single manipulation tactic there is
and I got scared. To be honest, I understood there
is no us anymore. I tried to talk to him once,
but I realized he's not able to understand anything, so

(26:41):
leaving is the only option. As I decided to leave,
I still put up with this crap as I planned
my escape. He really really hurt me in this time,
doing something he knew would f me up. Not cheating,
just emotional mistreatment. Tomorrow we will split to meet our
families on our own, and I will tell my family
were breaking up and why they will support me. I

(27:02):
plan on packing his things with their help and moving
him out while he's out. As he lives at my place,
he has a place to go. I don't plan to
talk to him at any point moving forward. My family
will be responsible for that. I don't have anything to
say to him now. It hurts, but I'm one hundred
percent set on leaving. I'm glad you broke up.

Speaker 3 (27:21):
Sounds like things escalated though, and you got out of there.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
You're going to have a successful career. Your boyfriend probably
what Even though you shouldn't be listening to Chad Gpt,
your boyfriend did sound like he was showing way more
red flags than green flags.

Speaker 3 (27:35):
Yeah, let's not relationship and the chat GPT.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Ever again, truly can't can't imagine not supporting my partner
doing something so elite, you know what I mean. But
let's let's finish this story. It will cost me a
lot of money, but my family will help. The point
is to make me free as soon as possible. And
there's a quick edit. I searched his phone and found
out about a lot of his lies. Currently, it's three

(27:58):
am and I'm waiting for or a taxi to my parents.
He's asleep. I will come back tomorrow with bodyguards to
pack him.

Speaker 3 (28:05):
God. Okay, okay, extras, more.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
Lies, more lies, lies, deceptions, more lies. You got to
comment here to finish it off. I don't know what
exactly your boyfriend told you, but please don't believe that
what chat GPT says is the truth. CHATGPT is just
a program that, using information from the Internet, produces text. If,
for example, enough people said that a woman saying she

(28:29):
has a right to dress however she wants is toxic,
chat GPT would tell you it's toxic unless you say
you disagree. It's a robot designed to please the user.
Try it. It will probably backpedal. Stay safe, but please
use your own judgment. It's a very flawed tool in
people really don't know how to use it because we
haven't been taught, and we should have. I learned this

(28:51):
in a course and was horrified when I realized it's
just a text predictor. Yeah, it's not santient folks. Literally
hugs and best of luck, and that the end of
that story.

Speaker 3 (29:02):
Yeah, I good job.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
Even though you shouldn't be using CHATGBT as a metric
for your relationships, I do think that it was probably
for the best for you to break up if he's
not gonna support you, just spending a couple more months
to find out if maybe you can have that career.
And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go
on to the next one.

Speaker 4 (29:19):
My boyfriend became the provider and forgot everything I did
for him. Provider I hardly know her. My boyfriend of
two and a half years and I moved in together
in July because he was starting a new job at
a new city. I had left my old job and
had another lined up. Unfortunately, I had unexpectedly got laid
off before I could even start the new job due

(29:40):
to their budget issues. By the way, this comes from
Impressive Match ninety eight eighty two, and if you want
to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
Okay storytime subured it. I'm Sophia, and I'm.

Speaker 2 (29:50):
Savannah and I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice.

Speaker 4 (29:53):
Goofully, But we don't have all the answers. We only
know what we do, so let us note you do
in the comments and op sas. I have been unemployed
since August and my mental health has taken a huge hit.
I've been trying every job board and connection I can
think of, but nowhere in my field seems to be
hiring right now. My boyfriend luckily has a good job

(30:14):
and has been able to provide for us, with me
covering some bills with my savings. The issue is that
this past Saturday night he got really wasted at a
Christmas party and started screaming to me in public that
he no longer has compassion for me because he thinks
I do not think you want to do nothing for
the rest of my life. Immediately now, immediately, giant red flag.

(30:37):
He's screaming at you in public. Moon him. That'll shut
him up. That'll shut him up. It probably would. He
thinks he's better than me now because he has a
good job and a better degree than me, That maybe
my potential job just didn't want me instead of it
being a budget issue, and that apparently my family all
can't stand me either. Wow. This guy sucks.

Speaker 2 (30:57):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (30:58):
I am so hurt because he insulted me, made up
lies to hurt me, and I think he's letting being
the provider get to his head. Prior to his job,
I was the breadwinner and was the one who kept
him from dropping out of school and encouraged him to
pursue the good job.

Speaker 1 (31:13):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (31:13):
Now, I've been supporting him through his depression for our
entire relationship, and the one time I need his support,
he can't even handle it. For five months, I don't
know how I can trust him going forward when he
turns on me at my most vulnerable moment. I admit
I've had a short temper and have been overall extra
emotional because of the rejection and uncertainty about my career.

(31:35):
But I've also been trying my hardest to find a
job and take care of our new home together. I
pretty much saved him from giving up on everything, but
now that he's successful, he looks down on me during
one of my hardest times, and of course he had
to do it days before Christmas and by making a
scene in public. So is this worth leaving him over?
And there are some comments but what do you think? Yeah,

(31:58):
I think this guy's the worst.

Speaker 2 (32:00):
Yeah, I mean he can't even support You've supported him
for what how many years did they say? I don't know,
A while, yeah, long time, Yeah, the whole relationship. Yeah,
which it doesn't even matter how long the relationship is.

Speaker 4 (32:13):
Yeah, it's just.

Speaker 2 (32:14):
Like you have always been there for him and the
one time you need him now.

Speaker 4 (32:17):
He's like, eh. I think if he doesn't, I think
you could have a conversation about this. But I think
him having, you know, getting angry at you in public
and just insulting you is is a huge, huge dread
flag and I would be I would be considering leaving.

Speaker 2 (32:32):
And in public, yeah, and doing it like privately, like okay,
I understand, and well I don't understand, but still like
doing it privately, Yeah, privately is better than making it
a whole thing and then people are like looking like,
oh god, it's just it's it's humiliating yeah, like, that's
not fun for literally anyone.

Speaker 4 (32:49):
No common one says, all right, here's what you'd do.
Print out all the invoices, all your bills you covered
for him as well, all out in the open and
lay it on the table. And when you demand fifty
percent of all you paid for back, tell him point blank.
If that's your attitude, this is mine. I expect this
all back and then you can go. And you know,

(33:11):
f yourself. I am so sorry, opie. Men, a very
specific type of men are like this. They exploit you
and see this as absolutely okay as long as they benefit.
This second they assume they no longer benefit more from
a relationship than they have to provide, they completely lose
their crap. This is about being a garbage human, not

(33:32):
a partner. The yelling in public is your warning signal
that this man will escalate. Get out as soon as
you can. And we've got a second comment. You can
leave a relationship at any time for any reason, especially
when your partner is an a hole. Comment three says
he's letting his masks slip and showing you exactly who
he is when he feels he has control. This isn't

(33:55):
loving if he's willing to disrespect you in front of others.
He will escalate alone. You will struggle with confidence if
you let him disrespect you like this. Now that you
are seeing his true colors, you need to decide if
this is who you want to live with, if this
is the behavior you're willing to tolerate. Love doesn't go
away when things aren't going as planned. You don't need

(34:15):
to prove your value to him. You need to value
yourself and hope you reply, thank you for your comment.
This is heartbreaking because he's been very patient and understanding
up until this point. It hurts that suddenly doesn't recognize
the effort I've put into changing my situation and all
that I've been through. Common Force says Ugh, I'm sorry.

(34:35):
He does not respect you. He used you. He's using
the job and money things as an excuse to express
that now that he doesn't need you like he did before,
the mask is slipping off. He probably feels like he's
ready to level up, and he's framing it like you're
using him to get out without hurting his ego projection.
He may not even be aware of some of these feelings,

(34:56):
but there's a double standard here and trying to reason
with him will like the result in you getting insulted more.
I'm sorry, but this is the start of an emotionally
harmful relationship screaming insults at you in public. Leaving him
will hurt, but it will hurt less now than in
a year. Stop using your savings on shared expenses and
let him pay, get that job, and get out. Comment

(35:19):
five says, my god, just leave. This guy will always
keep Itally, I haven't worked for five years due to
mental health, and my husband not once ever made me
feel lesser because of it, and even discouraged me going
back once I thought I was ready because he wanted
me and my therapist both to feel on the same page.
Not discouraged in the simple sense, but uh, are you

(35:40):
really short? And did you talk to so and so
about it? And what did they think? Your boyfriend will
always be keeping score?

Speaker 2 (35:47):
Yeah, it just seems like this guy's not gonna get
any better, and it seems like he got what he
wanted out of the relationship and now he's just like,
m well, you know, I'm gonna talk down to you
and l le make you feel this way, lil, And
it's like, okay, dude, whatever you're high and mighty cool.

Speaker 4 (36:01):
Then I'm just gonna leave and you can go deal
with all that on your own. Yay.

Speaker 2 (36:05):
And when you're sad and alone and need me, I
won't be there anymore. Yay, bye bye.

Speaker 4 (36:11):
Exactly just like that. Yeah, exactly like that. Five months
seems like a long time, but when again you put
it into perspective of you helping him for so long,
then it shows that you know he's not willing to
be there for you. For everyone focused on the money,
he has no issue paying the rent. He and his
parents paid his bills prior to moving in together, and

(36:33):
I paid my own bills. We agreed on fifty to
fifty when we moved in together and both thought we
had jobs. When I lost my job, he agreed to
cover full rent until I'm working full time again without
expecting repayment. I am still covering our other bills with
my savings and planned to contribute as originally planned when
I'm working. The issue is he's not giving me the

(36:54):
same grace and compassion during my depression and job struggles
that I gave him in the past. And that is
the end of that story.

Speaker 3 (37:03):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (37:03):
I hope you figure it out.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
Ope, Hey, it's Keon the Silly's Goose.

Speaker 5 (37:08):
We're going to get back to the stories, but here's
three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
My girlfriend lied about her location, so I trusted my gut.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
Where are you?

Speaker 2 (37:17):
The past month has been full of harships in our
relationship as we both were having trust issues and it
was showing we've been on and off mood wise, but
the spicy related chemistry was still there. We were just
emotionally distanced.

Speaker 4 (37:31):
By the way.

Speaker 2 (37:32):
This comes from Fantastic Toe thirty nine, thirty seven and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay story time subrend it.

Speaker 4 (37:39):
I am Savannah.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
I'm Sovia, I'm Keon, and we are here to give
some good advice goofly, but we don't have all the answers.
We would only know what we would do in the situation,
but we would love to know what you would do
in this situation in the comments. As Opie says, last Friday,
after she was with her mom, Actual Proof heard her
mom's voice too. She said they went to her mom
his friend's house, very typical after they go out together. Okay,

(38:03):
she was saying, she fell asleep on the couch, not
that suspicious, but I felt like something was off, so
I called her. When I did, she told me to
wait a minute. Now my radar was on because she'd
usually answered for at least a couple of seconds. I
told her immediately to drop her location, but she would
keep making excuses and not do it. This was around

(38:23):
eight to nine pm. I kept spamming her with texts
and calls and she would see them but not answer immediately.
I told her to tell me the truth, and she
was acting like nothing was happening, but it was very
obvious she wasn't sleeping before. We kept texting back and
forth for a while as she was buying time to
not drop me the location until she did around eleven pm.
It was very obviously not her mom's friend's house. So

(38:44):
I told her to tell me the truth.

Speaker 4 (38:46):
Oh she didn't even use that two hours to leave
the location.

Speaker 1 (38:50):
Nope.

Speaker 4 (38:51):
Crazy.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
She said she went out drinking with friends and that
was it, and she didn't want to tell me because
I'd get jealous. She told me a version that made
sense about where she was, but not many details on
what she did. She told me that around eight pm
she was at the mall true on the evidence.

Speaker 4 (39:08):
She showed.

Speaker 2 (39:08):
There was a video of her she sent to her
mom at the mall. Then she and four people, three girls,
one guy who I've seen and well he is not
very attractive, but still eh.

Speaker 4 (39:20):
And then so she was at the mall, and then
she was with an ugly guy, so that she's fine
for now.

Speaker 2 (39:26):
Went out to get drinks at a restaurant. There are
some stuff that proves this not definitive, but the story
makes a lot of sense with the details she gave.
She says this is why she refused to send me
her location, because it would have been obvious that she
was lying, and she just kept doubling down on being
with her mom until she was out. We called briefly
once she was getting home, and she was rude to
me and very wasted. While I was still asking her

(39:48):
why the f she was lying to me about that.
She'd go out with her friends before and tell me
and well, I would get a bit moody, but not
completely paranoid like this time.

Speaker 4 (39:57):
Okay, Well that's that is something to note. You're getting
moody whenever she goes out with her friends. That is
not great. She probably is noticing that, and I was like, Okay, well,
I don't want to deal with him being moody.

Speaker 5 (40:10):
That could correlate why she's not telling you.

Speaker 4 (40:12):
Yeah, not that it's good that she's not telling you,
or okay that she's not telling you, but it does
makes more sense in a little mooe moody baby, little
mood baby.

Speaker 2 (40:23):
And she just said she didn't feel like telling me.
She apologized in the morning and says she wouldn't lie
to me anymore. But that really, really, nothing happened. I
tried to shrug it off for a couple of days,
but honestly I had enough. Today gave her an ultimatum
and she basically said the words to break up with me.

Speaker 1 (40:42):
Okay, but I want to know like.

Speaker 4 (40:43):
Said the words? She said the words to break up
with me, unless she said we're breaking up like I
want to break Maybe. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
Part of me wants her back and regrets giving her
the ultimatum because she might not have done anything bad
per se, but I can't trust her, and I'm starting
to think she lied to me other times too. I'm
scared she'll just go and get with this guy or something,
and I could have avoided that by not breaking up
with her. But also my gut just tells me she
is a liar, and she gave me half the truth.
She never behaved like this before as far as I knew,

(41:12):
always loyal and the perfect girlfriend. I think for most
of you it would be obvious, but part of me
really wants to believe her. I am heartbroken and her
leaving hurts more than her lyne. I personally think she
did something bad, but that she was really at the
mall and then the restaurant. I would like to reconcile
some time if that was the case. However, I think

(41:32):
us breaking up will lead to her just having spicy
sleep with someone else. Well, if that is what a breakup,
that's what happens on a breakup, they usually start seeing
other people.

Speaker 4 (41:43):
It wasn't okay that she lied. Yeah, and she might
be cheating, but also op is very controlling and demanding,
it seems, and gave an ultimatum. She took it, and
now they're not together and she's gonna go see other
people for sure, because that's what you.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
Do when you break up.

Speaker 2 (41:59):
Yeah, and I think from the way that you acted,
I would have been like, well, yeah, you suck. I
don't know, I told you the truth and you don't
believe it, so I don't know what else to do,
you know.

Speaker 5 (42:08):
Yeah, and even if you guys didn't break up, op
you're gonna keep questioning it and push her to the
break of like either you break up with her because
you can't trust her anymore, or she breaks up with
you and look what happened exactly.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
I'd like to know your thoughts, to be honest. We're
in complete no contact at this point in time, and
there are some comments. Comment one says if you get
back together, she'll never respect you again and she'll walk
all over you again. Stay broken, move on whoa common
two says, she's lying to you. That's enough right there
to end things. The lack of trust would drive you
crazy in the long term. She is untrustworthy and disrespects

(42:40):
you and the relationship you had together. Get yourself together
and push on, Bud. You deserve better, Opie replies, I
also was thinking about this. I can't be doubting everything
twenty four to seven and it'll drive me insane and
I'd make her hate me. Part of me hopes we
reconcile sometimes because I do love her. However, I think
for now we're better off on different paths. Comment three
says it's over and that's all you have to deal

(43:01):
with now, and the howls and the whys at this
point mean absolutely nothing. You guys were heading for a
breakup anyway, and when push came to shove, she showed
you that there was nothing here to be saved. So
if you want any one bit of advice, it is this.
Don't bother thinking about this anymore. It will hurt for time,
but then it won't. But the longer you do think
about it, the longer that hurt process will take. There's

(43:24):
simply no point in analyzing this. There is no point
in asking questions. There is no point in even thinking
about if she cheated on you or not. It simply
doesn't matter, as the relationship has ended and you are
both now permanently out of each other's lives. Just accept that,
put it in that place called the past, and stop
letting it occupy so much of your time.

Speaker 4 (43:44):
A lot of thoughts.

Speaker 2 (43:45):
Yeah, hope, he replies, thank you for your words. I
think I'm just over analyzing this because I have hopes
of reconcile.

Speaker 4 (43:53):
You're not reconciling. She broke up with you.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
Dude, but I'm also wondering if it's even worth it.

Speaker 4 (43:59):
Long road ahead. So she was my everything. Oh there's
an update. Let's just get right into it. Let's do it.

Speaker 2 (44:05):
Basically, I am not planning on breaking no contact at all.
Deleted all the picks and conversations, return things, basically everything
to ensure there was no reconcile possibly happening. I can
tell she was planning to come back after the breakup,
but since that will not be possible, I'm pretty sure
she got a new guy. Now I have a girlfriend
right now.

Speaker 4 (44:22):
She's nice.

Speaker 2 (44:23):
We've known each other for over a month. Still taking
things slow, but hopeful what I know how to see
the red flags. She knows about the whole situation, and
we're trying our best so far. Genuinely way happier. Thanks
for the advice some of you guys left in here.

Speaker 4 (44:36):
I'm like glad that you're hobby and stuff, But it
is kind of weird to me that you were like,
what if we break up and then she gets within
our person and then you're like dating someone else.

Speaker 5 (44:44):
I just always like, she's my everything. I love her,
She's the best girlfriend ever. But we broke up, but
I want to reconcile, and now I have a new girlfriend,
you moved on. I think, op, this shows you you
learned you learned from your previous relationship. Ah, and that's that.

Speaker 2 (45:02):
And that's fair, and that's the end.

Speaker 1 (45:05):
Of that story.

Speaker 4 (45:07):
I asked for space while sleeping and my boyfriend took
it personally, So.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
All, fine, you need space, Okay, I'm gonna leave to
outer space. How about that?

Speaker 4 (45:16):
I Female twenty one and my partner in male twenty
one have now been living together for about six months.
My partner likes to sleep cuddled up to someone. I, however,
do not. This isn't an issue that just happened to
occur in my life. I've always had an issue with
people in my personal space while wanting to sleep. By
the way, this comes from then philosophy five one A

(45:37):
one And if you want to submit your own stories,
go to the dr slash. Okay, storytime severed it.

Speaker 1 (45:41):
I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm ke On, and we're here
to give.

Speaker 4 (45:44):
Good advice scoofy. But we don't have all the answers.
We only know what we'd do, So let us know
what you would do in the commons and op says,
I do not mind having someone near me or next
to me while sleeping, it's the cuddling and hugging part
that annoys me. I've always made my feelings on things
pretty clear, as I like telling things in a rather
direct way. The first few nights we officially started living together,

(46:07):
I wouldn't mind it. We would sleep cuddled up together
and everything was fine. But it started to become too
much after the first week or two. I consider myself
a very direct person when it comes to issues I
might have with someone, or even just things I as
a person don't like to do or have done. So
from the very beginning, when it started to bother me

(46:28):
cuddling to sleep, I let my partner know I couldn't
sleep comfortably like that. This seemed to rather shake things
up for our relationship. My partner would take it in
a different direction than what it was. For instance, I
tell him I don't want to sleep hugging tonight, and
for some odd reason, his mind would process that in
a whole different conversation. He'd say things like you don't

(46:50):
love me anymore, or you just prefer to be alone.
I would look at him and be like, that has
nothing to do with me not wanting to cuddle.

Speaker 1 (46:58):
Yeah, that's a red flas because it's so unlike some
people just aren't built to cuddle at night.

Speaker 4 (47:05):
I'm a cuddler, but if someone's not a cuddler, that's okay.
My partner would go on and on about how he
has struggled throughout his life and that he finally has
a home and a family, and he does his very
best for us and makes an effort. I never once
stated he didn't. I tried explaining to him that I
would never minimize all he had done or helped me

(47:26):
with in our relationship, and that I am grateful for everything.
It's just the sleeping cuddled up that I have issues with.
But every time I bring it up, a new argument starts.
It's really starting to make me tired of trying to
set the boundary with him, since every time I try
to talk about it, he continues to make it into
an argument. So the other night we finally went to

(47:47):
bed and he wanted to cuddle again. I told him,
please fix yourself into your own spot. I want to
be in mind. He didn't seem to care, as he
still moved to cuddle, so I proceeded with, and you
move out of my space and stan yours. God, I
really do wish I didn't say anything after that. He
made it into an argument once again.

Speaker 1 (48:07):
There's literally no argument to be had now. It's not
like an argument of like we that you should be
or have to be okay with this. It's like I
don't don't want to do that, and that doesn't mean
I hate you. And if you can't accept that, I
don't know I'd be so frustrated me too.

Speaker 4 (48:24):
Mind you, I was already pretty tired from being sick
and barely getting out of the hospital. He went ahead
and stated, I'm tired of you always moving me when
I want to be near you. You're acting like I bother.

Speaker 5 (48:34):
You, because you are.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
You're bothering me right now in this one specific context, to.

Speaker 4 (48:40):
Which I respond, it's not that you bother me. We've
had this conversation before, and I made it clear I
like having my own space while sleeping, and once again
I got the same response. I've got a struggled life
growing up, and I just feel like you don't want
me with you and that you prefer to be alone.
Every time I ask you for just one thing, you
can't give it to me. It's not one thing you

(49:01):
ask for it over and over and he's already been
clear like I understand physical touch, I really do, but
it's just not something I want while I'm asleep. I
just don't know how to explain it to him without
arguing all the day time. So readers, am I the
ale for not wanting to cuddle while sleeping? And there
is an update three days later, no.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
Breakup. I think you probably should because he's trying to
like use his like, Oh, but I went through all
this stuff and like that means I deserve this and
you need to give it to me because I don't know.
It's just like just feels like emotionally manipulative.

Speaker 4 (49:38):
I absolutely agree. Okay, so it's been three days since
I posted about me not being able to sleep while
cuddled up with my partner and how that conversation brings
up arguments between us. First, I'd like to clear some
things up, as I have been reading everyone's comments and
trying to reply to some when I first posted. I
am totally okay with physical touch. Me and my partner

(50:00):
are always together in our free time and we love
spending time together. That was never the issue. I do
love my partner a lot. He's my first serious relationship
after I spend some time healing and making sure I
was totally ready for one, and I couldn't be happier
with him by my side. Now, for some things I
didn't initially make clear in my first post, as it's

(50:21):
my first time ever posting, When I say cuddled up
in order to sleep, I literally mean he's right on me.
That's just way, that's just the way he cuddles. I'm
five to two and he's six foot for reference, So
when we lay down and he wants to sleep cuddled,
I really do prefer not to have someone literally on
top of me while I try to sleep. Once again,

(50:43):
this isn't just an issue that occurred in my life
as of now. I've always been this way, and it's
just the way I'm used to sleeping. I get that
we all have different sleeping patterns and how cuddling can
be one of his. So we talked about it, and
he told me that this is a new thing for him,
that before he was able to just sep, but when
he's around me, he loves to just cuddle and hug
because it makes him feel safe. And loved. I can

(51:06):
totally understand that I'm not a monster, guys, I'm human too.
We talked about it for a while, and I told
him that I love for him to feel safe and
loved with me, but I feel that way as well
when I'm around him. I also explain why I can't
sleep the way he'd like for us to sleep, so
we did compromise. I saw a comment on my other
post that said, we can do the cuddling before sleeping.

(51:28):
I was gonna say, can we do a little compromise
where before you guys actually fall asleep, can we.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
Do a little pre cuddle pre sleep cuddling.

Speaker 4 (51:35):
Yeah, I was gonna suggest that.

Speaker 1 (51:37):
So I'm glad that someone did puddling.

Speaker 4 (51:39):
Puddle, and once we're ready to sleep, to just sleep
near each other. I also saw another one that said
to try to do the leg on top of one
another so that feeling of cuddling isn't completely gone. Yeah,
sometimes you just need like a little lake arm touching
one body parts.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
I still think it's kind of weird that he was
just was unable to understand, Oh, don't sleep with someone
cuddling you and you're like a small person and He's enormous,
So it's like, yeah, I'm sleeping with like a big mammal.

Speaker 4 (52:12):
Right around me, and that's exactly what we're gonna do.
We will get in all the cuddling we can before sleeping,
like maybe start a new series or watch movies before bed.
That way, we are cuddled up and comfy, and while sleeping,
I have been intertaining. I have been intertwining my legs
with his and it's really working. We have been able
to sleep fine without any issues doing this.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
I would just be on the lookout for this kind
of behavior in any other contexts of your relationship.

Speaker 4 (52:40):
Yeah, I'm a little bit I don't know, not suspicious,
but I'm a little bit worried.

Speaker 1 (52:48):
Like you're gonna be like, he's gonna be like, can
I have your fries, and you're gonna be like, no,
I want to eat my fries. You love me. I
went through a lot growing up my childhood and you
can't even give me your French fries.

Speaker 4 (53:00):
As for the people who were telling me that I
don't deserve him, that I'm the ale for not wanting
to cuddle with him, and then I just have an
issue with physical touch. I don't know how my first
post made it sound like I just don't love him,
But I read your comments, and although I did feel
like the ale, I guess some of what you guys
said was helpful, not because I don't love him, but
because but because I saw it as a foreseen future

(53:21):
that I don't want for us. Anyways, thanks to everyone
who read and gave me good advice. I'm glad I
was able to post and get something positive out of it.
You're happy and still very much in love with each other.
If you say so.

Speaker 1 (53:34):
I mean, as long as that vibe doesn't leak into.

Speaker 4 (53:37):
The rest of your relationship.

Speaker 1 (53:39):
I guessed that it's good.

Speaker 4 (53:41):
I'm just a little bit worried compromise.

Speaker 1 (53:45):
Yeah, we got there, and that's the end of this story.
We're gonna go on to the next one.

Speaker 3 (53:50):
Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here, and.

Speaker 4 (53:55):
We're going to get back to the stories.

Speaker 3 (53:57):
But he's a three minute ad break from our sponsors.

Speaker 1 (54:00):
My boyfriend's X keeps calling him, and I don't know
if I'm overreacting. Hang up, I twenty five female am
dating a guy thirty six male, and his ex twenty
five female is calling him. Sometimes this comes from user
amy insect eight four four eight, and if you want
to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
Okay storytime subbered it. I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, I'm Keon,

(54:23):
and we're here to give good advice googly, but we
don't have all the answers. We only know what we know.
So if you know something we don't know, let us
know in the comments, and Op says, long story short.
We met online and I drove to his country to
meet him. We're the same nationality and we had a
great time together, filled with intimacy. Of course, Before the

(54:46):
meeting and after, we talked constantly. We can talk on
the phone almost the entire day. We text a lot,
and he is always the one who calls me first.
He calls me after work at home from the store,
before sleep, and sometimes we even sleap together on phone calls.
We have been inseparable for three months since we met.

(55:06):
He messaged me first and kept messaging me even when
I was giving short replies okay. When I was at
his house for the weekend and left on Monday, he
did not stop me at the time. A few days
later he told me, why did you have to go,
you could have stayed, which made me think he missed me.
I wanted to stay too, but I didn't want to
stay too long and annoy him. He's currently at his

(55:27):
family's place, and we have kind of planned that he
might take me to his home for New Year's Eve,
although it's not confirmed yet. When he drove to his family,
which was a long drive, we talked almost the entire ride.
He updates me on everything and I do the same.
He always calls me, which I think is a big
indicator that he is into me. Now for the other

(55:48):
part of the story. Before we met about two months ago,
we were talking on the phone when his phone started buzzing.
I asked why he wasn't picking up, and he said
it was his ex. My stomach dropped. He said he
would pick up and call me back. When he called
me back, he said her father had passed away, which
is true, and she wanted to talk. They broke up

(56:09):
three years ago. One year ago she went missing or
ran away, and he said he was worried and cried
because he was afraid for her. So they broke up
three years ago. She was twenty two and he was
thirty three.

Speaker 4 (56:23):
Yeah, okay, he.

Speaker 1 (56:25):
Even sent her money so she could go back to
her country. After that, we continued talking and I asked
if there was something between them. He said no and
explained that she was with someone else and wanted to
get back with him, but he did not want that.
Why are we involved in our ex'es romantic affairs? Mmmm?

(56:45):
Over the next two months, his phone occasionally buzzed during
our calls. I guessed twice and asked if it was
his ex, and he said yes. He said he didn't
want to talk to her, and I appreciated that he
didn't hide it.

Speaker 4 (56:57):
He's like, no, I'm talking to my ex. I don't
want I have to. Sorry.

Speaker 1 (57:02):
Is that gonna mean maybe he feels some sort of
weird sense of responsibility.

Speaker 4 (57:06):
For Oh, I don't know. This is all weird.

Speaker 1 (57:09):
Yeah, Still it made me worried. He claimed she had
not called him in three weeks and that she sometimes
just randomly calls. Fast forward to two weeks ago, when
I was at his place. I was about to leave
around seven pm when his phone buzzed. He had his
phone with him the entire time and did not pick up.
I asked if it was her, and he confirmed it was.

(57:31):
She called twice and he didn't answer. He said I
haven't talked to her for three weeks, which means he
did pick up three weeks ago and I do not
know why. While I was at his place, we got
a bit tipsy and I asked him if he was
going to meet her since she was visiting his family
in the same city where she lives. He said no
and told me she would like to meet him, but

(57:52):
he didn't want to. He said he wouldn't do that.
I asked him who was more important me or her,
and he said she wasn't important at all. He also
mentioned that she probably has a man, although I do
not think that's true. He said that relationship was a
huge mistake. When I asked what he meant and whether
they catch up on their lives, he said I was

(58:14):
interrogating him and joked that I was jealous. That made
me feel unsure and uncomfortable. From what he says, she
calls him randomly. He says he does not want to
get back with her and that he has no emotional
connection with her. He talks with me for long hours
every day and texts constantly, so I doubt he would
do that long distance if he wanted to go back

(58:36):
to her. He prioritizes contact with me and wanted to
meet me again. He is caring and nice, and we
send each other a lot of voice messages. He sends
me pictures of his apartment and jokes about picturing my
dog there. He jokes about my dress hanging in his
bathroom and even kept our grocery list, sending me a
picture of it and saying he was sentimental. I was

(58:58):
surprised he did not throw it away. All of this
makes me think he is really into me. He's a
wonderful human being, and there are no words to describe
how happy I am that I found him. He brought
light into my life, and I want to make him
happy too, because he deserves it. He calls me multiple
times a day, and if there's one hour of silence,
he calls again. I don't like that.

Speaker 4 (59:19):
I don't like that either. Too much seems like too much.
It feels like there are long distance. Oh, it feels
like a little intense for me.

Speaker 1 (59:30):
It just feels almost like every like what a couple
of weeks was X calling him?

Speaker 4 (59:36):
Yeah, but like put up those boundaries.

Speaker 1 (59:39):
He updates me with pictures and little things throughout his day,
and I don't know why his ex is calling him.
He said once that she wants to borrow money and
never gives it back. Considering she called when I was there,
I don't know how often she actually calls. He claims
he won't get back with her, but if she had someone,
I don't think she would still be called her ex.

Speaker 4 (01:00:01):
I just don't trust this relationship. I don't like the
age gap. I don't like him talking to his ex.
I don't like how much he's talking to you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
I think I don't know where they are because he said,
you're driving to a different country, so it could be
a cultural difference that, like the age gap, isn't that
big of a deal. Yeah, But like I think, you
have to decide whether or not you trust this guy,
and then if you do, you know, trust that he's
with you and he's not gonna give with his ex. Anyway,
let's finish this story. I am stressed that when I

(01:00:30):
stay at his place again, she'll call and ruin my mood.
The best thing would be for him to answer and
for her to hear my feminine voice. But I don't
want to get involved since I'm not his girlfriend yet
even though we act like a couple. Girl, if you're
not his girlfriend and he's talking to you like twenty
four to seven, that's y'all gotta y'all gotta decide. Yeah,

(01:00:52):
I am worried. Even though he says she only calls sometimes.
Maybe he is casual about the contact and picks up
sometimes because there's no emotional connection from his side, so
it isn't a big deal to him. They're not seeing
each other and he lives abroad. As I said, he
puts a lot of energy into contact with me, even
though we're long distance. His family and friends know about

(01:01:14):
me because he told them. Any advice, that's the end
of that story.

Speaker 4 (01:01:19):
I don't know. I would just keep an eye out,
maybe express these feelings about the eggs.

Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
My advice is, if you're talking to somebody twenty hours
a day, you should be pretty clear on what your
labels are. And if it's not dating, then what are
you doing? Yeah, Like that's the truth he's telling you.
Like I'm picturing your dog here and you living here
in your dresses in my bathroom, it certainly sounds like

(01:01:47):
you're dating. I would say so, But that is the
end of that story.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;} My boyfriend shared our hobby with ANOTHER woman… then turned on me! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2653