My friend’s girlfriend RUINED the food I made… it cost her the relationship! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story
Time podcast host. Oh yeah, and we got some great
stories coming up.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
But before that, we got a teeny two minute break
from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like
a little house.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
Oh yeah, my friend's girlfriend ruined the food I cooked,
but she got dumped. That's not how you do the dumpling.
So we're gonna dump you dump. Blenz I thirty five
mail am a foodie. I've been cooking since I was ten,
and I even have a personal cookbook of the recipes
I've accumulated over the years. I know my recipes to heart,

(00:32):
so much so that I often don't need a recipe
to cook my dishes. By the way, this comes from
Purple shell S. And if you want some of your
own stories, go to our Soli I show. Okay, story
dumps up right it So, my closest friends and I
decided to have dinner in board game night last week,
to which my best friend Clark thirty four mail, volunteered
to host. He requested me to cook my spicy Italian

(00:55):
sausage pasta and said that I could cook my pasta
dish and his house even joke that he gets to
keep any of the leftovers, which is fine by me.
I agreed to this arrangement because his kitchen was equipped
for me to cook my dish and I don't need
to worry about transporting my dish. I arrived at Clark's
house a few hours early with my ingredients in toe,

(01:17):
along with board games from my collection. Yes I'm a
board game or two. Clark's girlfriend of four months, Sasha,
thirty two female, let me in the house. I ask
her where Clark was, and she said he was out
doing errands and buying snacks and refreshments for later. I
proceeded to the kitchen to prepare for the ingredients and
start cooking. The cooking of the sauce went well. The

(01:41):
flavors were balanced to my liking. It had saltiness from
the panchetta and the parmesan rind, sweetness and tartness from
the onions and canned in fresh tomatoes, keep from the
clabbery and chilies, and herbaceous notes from a blend of
fresh and dried herbs. After finishing the sauce, I took

(02:01):
it off the heat and prepared a pot of water
for the pasta. I set the pot of water over
the stove to put it over low heat. I planned
to freshen up a little and cook the pasta nearer
the serving time. I went to the guest bathroom to
shower and changed clothes. After freshening up, I headed back
to the kitchen. On my way back, I asked sauce
who was in the living room where Clark was. She

(02:22):
said that he was on his way and would be
back in twenty minutes. She then told me, oh, by
the way, I tasted your tomato sauce and it lacked salt.
I saw this video and the chef said the sauce
should be as salty as the sea. Don't worry, I've
already fixed your sauce. You're welcome. I thought she was kidding,

(02:44):
so I just responded with yes, thanks. I guess I
was also worried if she over salted my sauce. I
quickly made my way back to the kitchen to taste
my sauce. To my horror, my complex balance sauce was
now as salty as the dead. See if I if
I'm going to my boy Clark, Clark, you gotta break

(03:06):
up with this chick.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
You want to know why, because she doesn't know how
pasta works.

Speaker 4 (03:10):
One.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
She doesn't ask permission for things, She just does them
if she thinks it's right.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yea untwo.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
She's stupid because she puts salt in freaking sauce and
not the sauce not in the posta water.

Speaker 4 (03:21):
Not everybody knows how to cook, but that is pretty egregious.

Speaker 3 (03:25):
I was fuming because my sauce was ruined. In Gordon
Ramsey's word, an idiot sandwich. She definitely misheard the advice
from the video, because you're supposed to have the pasta
water as salty as to see, not the sauce, shouted
from the rooftops. I wanted to scold Sasha for ruining
my sauce, but I had to fix my sauce first

(03:48):
because my friends were bound to arrive in less than
an hour. Unfortunately, I don't have the time or the
ingredients to make a new sauce. I had in a
mix of lemon je and honey and a can of
crush tomatoes, tomato paste and splashes water. I minimize the
saltiness of the sauce, but the sauce was still off.
I was thinking of no longer serving my dish, but

(04:09):
my friends were excited about my food, and I did
not want to waste food. I just hoped no one
would notice how bad this sauce was.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
They're gonna notice, They're gonna notice.

Speaker 3 (04:19):
My friends arrived, we all sat at the dinner table.
We all got a portion of each dish. While we
were eating, I noticed my friends were pushing my pasta
to the sides their blades. Once everyone was ready for dessert,
I offered to help Lexi prepare and serve the desserts.
Lexi is also a foodie, but she's a baker, and

(04:42):
she is excellent making pastries and desserts. Lexi and I
were alone in the kitchen. She asked me why my
pasta was so salty. That's when I told her. Every
then told Lexi that I'd let it go for the
meantime and we should just enjoy the rest of the night.
I was doing so well not to show that I

(05:04):
was bothered, but then Clark, along with Sasha, approached me.
I said my pasta dish was saltier then he remembered.
I wanted to say that his girlfriend rumined my dish,
but I decided to allow her to open up for
her mistake. So I told him that I had no
idea what went wrong. I mentioned that I salted my food,
tasted the sauce as I went along, and made it

(05:25):
a point to say my pasta water was sea water salty,
but that has never affected the saltiness of my pasta dishes.
And I said the pasta water thing. I made sure
to look at Sasha. She did not say anything. I
just ended the conversation by saying I sometimes had my offers.
The rest of the night went well. I even won

(05:47):
some of the games, which kind of lifted my spirits
from the PASA debacle. Before I left Clark's house, I
asked him if he was keeping the leftovers. He said
he was taking half, so I offered to take home
the other half. Been a week since the pasta incident,
and I still feel disrespectful by what Sasha did. I
want to tell my best friend that his girlfriend e

(06:07):
ffed up my dish, but I don't want to make
a big issue over pasta sauce. How do you go
about this?

Speaker 1 (06:13):
Guys?

Speaker 3 (06:14):
What are we doing?

Speaker 4 (06:15):
I'm not going to the boy, I'm not going to
my friend going to Sasha. I'm just gonna talk to
Sasha I don't need to. I don't need to have
the mediator of the boyfriend involved. You just say, Sasha,
I don't know if you're not aware of this, but
you should ask permission before you just start taking initiative

(06:35):
to mess up somebody's cooking. I mean, you know you
can be nice what I'm doing.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
I'm gonna let it go. If this is me, I'm
gonna let it go.

Speaker 3 (06:47):
And I will always hold this above Sasha until she
says I'm sorry. If she says I'm sorry, we can
all laugh about it. Like imagine it's like, sorry, guys,
I actually put the salt in the pasta.

Speaker 1 (06:59):
It would have been so funny.

Speaker 4 (07:01):
I think she needs to She thinks she did nothing
wrong because I'm sure OP fixed the sauce, and then
she's like, I it was I did the right thing.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
But I think, but is you press her? And then
depending on her reaction.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
I'm also I'm gonna tell my boy. If he's like,
hey man, I don't know about Sasha, I'll be like,
let me tell you some much slash.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
You're like, boil boy, do I have a story for you?

Speaker 3 (07:22):
We got an edit update edit. I generally feel uncomfortable
with confrontations. This is why I let it slide and
even took the blame. But now I realized that I
should stand up for myself more, be more proud of
the work I do, and shouldn't be concerned about sparing
Sasha's feelings because in the first place, she disrespected me.
I have to put her in her place. Some of

(07:45):
you who thought that she either hated me or was
jealous of me, I have no idea if she does.
In the four months Clark and her have been dating,
I've only met her twice or thrice, and we didn't
even interact much. I am now even more compelled to
tell Clark about what she did, because if he's if
she's able to disrespect the boundaries of a stranger to her,

(08:06):
who knows what boundaries she'll cross. With the romantic partner
conspiracy theory, she's toxic. She needs to isolate Clark from
his friends so she can then do the mind games
on him. Okay, and so she's like, I'm gonna do
it one by one. Boom puts put a lot of
salt and Opie's dish. Everyone's like, Oh, what's wrong with you?

(08:29):
This is weird? Your chef I've messaged Clark to meet
up without Sasha for lunch tomorrow and you agreed. I'll
probably update everyone after my lunch with Clark. Guys again
an update updates. Thank you for the comments and advice
on my previous post. I met with Clark for lunch
to tell him about last week's board game night. I
told him that Sasha oversawt to my sault because of

(08:50):
a video she saw, and I tried my best to
fix it but failed. I also allowed her to fess up,
but she stayed silent. I apologize for lying to him
by taking the blame for her mistake because I was
afraid of the confrontation confrontation, and I didn't want the
rest of the game night to be ruined by throwing
her under the bus. I was afraid that he wouldn't
believe me and that I was deflecting the blame back

(09:13):
to Sasha instead. He said, that makes much more sense.
He then told me more about Sasha. When he met Sasha,
she was trying to make live style content. Currently. She
wants to make cooking videos, but the videos she watched
for inspiration were cooking hacks where people were dumping dry
pasta rammie, tons of cheese, etc. In a baking dish,

(09:35):
then throwing it in the oven to cook. She even
saw the countertop spaghetti video, which she wanted to make
for Clark's dad and sister when they were over at
his house during the holidays, who refusal let her do that.
Before we finished our meal, I told Clark to talk
to his girlfriend and I expect an apology from her
and for her to also apologize to the rest of
our friends for ruining last week's dinner. He asked me

(09:58):
if I wanted to go to his place to get
in a apology now, because Sausha was there. I declined
because it would feel like we were forcing an apology
from her by surprising her. Is it because you feel
non confrontational or is it forcing it? I don't really
I'm in between here.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
You know.

Speaker 4 (10:13):
I think just having the confrontation is not necessarily that
big of a deal, but Op's making it like way
bigger of a deal in his head where it just
needs to happen.

Speaker 3 (10:24):
After a few hours, I got a call from Clark.
They got into a huge fight and they broke up.
When he asked her to apologize, she refused and threw
a fit. She was so annoyed that Clark would rave
about me and Lexi's food, but her never did the
same when she cooked for him.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
Maybe you're a bad cook.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
He said that he always thinked and appreciated her efforts,
but sometimes her cooking didn't go well. She served him
raw chicken twice. In her rent, She said that her
fixing the sauce was her way of saying that she
was better than me. But when her plan backfar, she
kept quiet and let me take the blame, and I
dumbly fell on that sword. Some of you in the

(11:05):
comments were right, by the way, you can be right
if you go right to your favorite podcast platform, search
up Okay story Time, and boom right there will be
a plethora of stories just as crazy as this one.
Back to this. But what I got Clark to break
up with her was when she called Clark and our
friends a bunch of useless losers. He in turn defended

(11:26):
us by saying that we were the most reliable support
group of friends he's ever had. We helped him get
through his mom's terminal cancer diagnosis and passing. He told
her to get out and they were over. Clark assured
me he'd be okay, and then he needed some space.
I told him to call me if he needed anything.
It seems I won't be getting my apology, but that's

(11:49):
what I get for not speaking up. Lesson learned. At
least we won't have Sasha for our next game night,
which I'll host. Guys, that's thee to that one.

Speaker 4 (11:57):
Well, Sasha's out the door. That Sasha has sachetde right
out of our lives. My entitled friend demanded to be
my maid of honor and I denied her.

Speaker 3 (12:12):
Not your turn this time denied.

Speaker 4 (12:15):
I wasn't quite sure which flare to use, but honestly,
thinking about it, this woman was super entitled and I
never realized it. Buckle up for a long background context
of entitlement that still blows my mind. Some of the
things in this story I may be an a holeover,
but also it could just be that people conditioned me
to feel that way. And by the way, this comes
from User Life feature eighty eight, twenty three and if

(12:38):
you want to submit your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay storytime subredding. So our story starts back
around nineteen ninety eight or ninety nine. Ish, I now
thirty three female was about seven or eight.

Speaker 1 (12:49):
At the time.

Speaker 4 (12:50):
My parents and I had become members of a church
that was on the campus of a school I had
been enrolled in for kindergarten. They met a couple who
lived not too far from us. We lived in one
of the top five cities in the United States, so
when I say not too far, I'm talking like one
major street away, but it was actually probably about three
miles away. This couple had two boys, one who had

(13:13):
already moved out, and a daughter who will call Becca,
now thirty eight female. She was about twelve at the time.
My parents would go to her house for Bible study
every Sunday, and we also attended the same school at
the time. Well, Becca became the big sister I never had.
She took me under her wing and treated me like
a little sister, always there for me. She even gave

(13:33):
me the two prom dresses that her mother had made
my junior year when I couldn't afford a dress, even
though she knew my mother would have to alter them,
but she didn't care because it meant I had a dress.
Fast forward, and she got engaged to a guy that
I'm pretty sure most of us really didn't like.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
However, she was super happy.

Speaker 4 (13:51):
And I was like sixteen sometime around two thousand and seven,
and knew I didn't understand real relationships much, so I
just supported her. She asked me to be a bridesmaid,
and I of course said yes to me. This was
my big sister getting married. Before I bought my dress.
Though the engagement fell apart and the wedding was called off.
He had slept with her older brother's wife, who then

(14:13):
chose to run off with her.

Speaker 1 (14:14):
Now ex oh.

Speaker 4 (14:15):
My god, Oh my god, that's wild at that's next level.
After a while, she had started seeing a guy that
she had known in high school. This is important for
later and around that time nine or twenty ten, I had.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
Become engaged myself.

Speaker 4 (14:32):
I had originally asked my cousin Okay, who I now
don't have a lot of contact with, Jenna, who was
also eighteen or nineteen at the time, to.

Speaker 1 (14:41):
Be if I made of honor.

Speaker 4 (14:42):
The wedding didn't take place until twenty eleven, and about
six months before Jenna had to bow out alongside one
of my other bridesmaids. I told both girls I loved
them and understood. This left me with the bridal party
of Becca now twenty three, twenty four and four other
friends Annie twenty female who was my fiance ex fiancee,

(15:03):
Sarah A, and Sarah B and then Desi.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
Now.

Speaker 4 (15:07):
I didn't find out until later, and this is a
detail where people have called me An a hole, which
is stupid.

Speaker 1 (15:14):
But Becca was livid over the bridesmaid's dress.

Speaker 4 (15:16):
I chose why because it was the same one I
was supposed to wear five years prior for her wedding,
same style and color.

Speaker 1 (15:24):
Now. We bought these dresses from David's Bridle.

Speaker 4 (15:27):
This dress was one of their extremely popular ones up
until they retired it, and ever since I was a
little girl, I'd always planned on red being one of
my wedding colors.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
But I loved the deepness of.

Speaker 4 (15:38):
The color apple that this place had, so it didn't
occur to me that choosing that dress would be a problem,
especially since she never got married and I personally never
got to wear the dress as her bridesmaid.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
Becca was a victim Dakota. If I'm like, hey, let's go,
let's listen to this certain song that I like, Oh boy,
I make you upset, isn't that kind of the same
vibe we got going on here, like, I can't play
that song.

Speaker 4 (16:04):
There's this song that makes me sad when I hear it.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
Oh, I guess that's true.

Speaker 4 (16:10):
But also, you're not getting married, you know, Like I
feel like if it was, but I can't play that song,
I feel like I wouldn't within the rules of I'd
be like, you can play that song.

Speaker 1 (16:20):
I'll be able to handle.

Speaker 5 (16:21):
It for your wedding.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
Yeah, for your wedding.

Speaker 4 (16:25):
That's the context if this was just yeah, I don't know.
About a month before my wedding, remember, twenty eleven, we
had my bachelorette party. DESI had just had a baby
and wasn't feeling up to going, which I totally understood.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
She did make it up to me in the end,
which I didn't expect her to do because I didn't
need her to anyway.

Speaker 4 (16:46):
So it wound up being myself, Becca, Sarah, A and
B and Annie. We got a hotel room about four
miles down the road from our actual destination, and it
was pretty cheap. But I mean, you're talking four girls
from eighteen to twenty three of whom still lived with family,
and one who was twenty five. Even if it had
been the motel six that has been.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
Across the street. I wouldn't have cared.

Speaker 4 (17:07):
Our destination had been a club that has now been
closed since probably around twenty thirteen, that had eighteen plus
nights on Thursdays. I knew the bouncers, and one of
my guys actually put us on his list for the night,
meaning we had no cover charge.

Speaker 3 (17:20):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (17:21):
Now, eighteen and up nights meant that you could only
go upstairs if you were over twenty one, and no
booze was allowed downstairs. They were very strict about this,
as we were right on the edge of a college
city that partied to the point they had bouncers at
both ends of the stairs. Sarah and Sarah and Annie
and I are downstairs dancing and having so much fun
in a packed club. They had even gone and bought

(17:41):
me a bride to be sash that matched the color
of the top I had worn that night.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
At some point I had lost.

Speaker 4 (17:46):
Track of Becca for a little bit, but I knew
that she would probably be drinking, which was fine with me,
because you know, she's twenty five, and I won't tell
her she can't drink just because I was, and so
were the other girls too young to do so. So
you that by this point I haven't asked anyone to
be my maid of honor after Jenna had to drop out,
so the bachelorette party had actually been a group planned

(18:09):
since we were all young. That night, I actually asked
Sarah Sarah A to be my maid of honor after
we got back to the hotel. Later I discovered that
Becca was livid. From her point of view and what
she eventually later told me, she had a crap night
because the club was packed and she didn't like dancing.
She felt alone upstairs, being the only one of us

(18:30):
that could legally drink, and felt like she was just
babysitting us because she had her eye on us the
whole time.

Speaker 1 (18:34):
I feel this was her choice to do that, as
I never.

Speaker 4 (18:37):
Asked her to which I would agree with Becca's getting
mad that she made her own decisions. Now she was
mad because not only had I quote stolen her bridesmaid's dress,
but I had not asked her to be my maid
of honor.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
Out of all of.

Speaker 4 (18:49):
The remaining girls in the party, I had known her
the longest, so it should have been me to become
your maid of honor, according to her, I don't know, man.

Speaker 3 (18:57):
I this is her decision looking out of from a friend.
If let's say you took me in under like like
she Becca took o p N at a young age
under her wink, like that's her big sister.

Speaker 4 (19:09):
I mean, yeah, they became friends early, but like I
think with the given the context of like the marriage
blowing up and stuff, that she was gonna have Like
I don't know, I hope you could have just been
like I just thought that you wouldn't want to do
that because it'd be.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
Like too much or like a reminder.

Speaker 4 (19:22):
Of like, yeah, oh you're already mad about the dresses.
Now you want to be in charge of my bridal party?
Like yeah, doesn't seem like he's like.

Speaker 3 (19:28):
You're in this for me. We're getting a lot from you,
We're feeling your emotions.

Speaker 4 (19:33):
Basically, she wasn't mad that I had asked my cousin
because that was my legit family and she wouldn't ever
object to family before friends. But she literally expected me
to ask her after my cousin had to drop. Looking back,
this marriage one hundred percent should never have happened for
many reasons I won't go into. However, one detail I
will give is that the pastor who I wanted to

(19:54):
marry us told us one day that he absolutely refused
to marry us, although he never explained why, and that
should have been my biggest red flag to not do this.
But two days before my father decided to demand not discuss,
that we call off the wedding as we quote had
no business getting married. So now we're at the night
before the wedding and realistically I still have no pastor

(20:16):
or officiant. Despite my hardest trying to find someone. Desi,
bless her and her husband allowed the whole of my
side of the bridal party to crash at their place
that night because I was very entrenched in the groom
doesn't see the bride the night before the wedding. We
were living together at the time. Not only did Desi
open her house to us, but she called in a

(20:36):
favor from a gentleman who was a pastor and explained
to him how ours had backed out on us and
the wedding was the next day. He, not knowing anyone,
but her and her husband agreed to come and marry us.
This is how she made up for the bachelorette party.
By the way, I recently discovered that Desi passed not
too long ago. Oh no, we lost contact after my

(20:56):
divorce because she was my ex's friend first, despite that
she and her husband had actually been part of my
rocks during that horrible marriage.

Speaker 1 (21:05):
So I hold these memories of her very close.

Speaker 3 (21:08):
Dang right about that?

Speaker 1 (21:10):
I mean, that's it's always tough.

Speaker 4 (21:11):
Fast forward to eight months and a lot of from
multiple parties, the ex, the monster in law, and his
second mother, who was also a monster because she thought
that my ex should have married one of.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
Her four daughters.

Speaker 4 (21:25):
And we are now divorced, I reconnect with someone surprising
from my past. Now this is another place where I'm
called an a hole, and while I don't disagree, I
do disagree to an extent. This person was the guy
Becca had known in high school and had been dating
after her ex fiance left and when I had first
gotten together with my now ex husband. Okay, so not

(21:46):
the ex fiance but a friend of the ex fiance.

Speaker 3 (21:50):
Well, it's Beca's ex, but like right after the crazy
fiance fiansco.

Speaker 4 (21:55):
Okay, so it's still an ex, but it's not that X,
it's ax ax.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (22:00):
I think that they honestly dated for only a few months,
maybe four to six and decided they were better off
as friends. He and I reconnected and started to getting
to know each other on a whole different level, and
that level included us deciding to start dating. We even
got matching tattoos, and I put matching in quotes, but
it was actually just the same words into different styles,

(22:22):
into different locations.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
They were both our first tattoos. Yeah, girl, you got
a matching tattoo.

Speaker 4 (22:27):
He only got his because he knew how badly I
wanted this specific tattoo, but at the time I was
terrified of doing it, hence why we had the same words.

Speaker 1 (22:37):
So here is where I stopped talking to her completely.

Speaker 4 (22:39):
Okay, he and I only dated for maybe two months,
but he had paid for a Greyhound ticket for me
to go and visit him as he worked at one
of the disneys the days he worked. Because I stayed
for almost a week, he gave me his pass and
I got to walk around the park and had a
huge blast. I had honestly just expected to stay in
his apartment while he was at so this was actually

(23:00):
a really nice surprise for me.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
He and I were basically a huge Didney couple.

Speaker 4 (23:06):
He had come home to visit and we got into
this huge fight that ended in us breaking up. About
two weeks later, I got a message on Facebook. I
had been added to a group message. Now, mind you,
my mother hadn't been aware that he and I were dating.
For one, there was obviously a bit of an age difference,
at least it felt like it at the time. And two,
having just come out of a failed marriage, I didn't

(23:29):
really tell anyone, and this includes Becca, although he also
said he didn't want her to know because I wasn't
putting expectations for it to last.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
It was just something fun. Wow, lo and behold.

Speaker 4 (23:41):
My mother was in this group chat, along with Becca,
two random chicks, and my now ex boyfriend who I
will call Jack twenty six or twenty seven male at
the time. To this day, I still feel like whoever
sent these messages knew who we all were, because I
have a feeling one of the two unknowns was either
a close friend or family of the other unknown and

(24:02):
possibly knew either Beca or myself plus my own mother.
And I'm gonna pause right here, because yeah, ope, the
people who put you in the scandalous group chat know
you know, all of you.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
That is a given.

Speaker 4 (24:16):
Becca's mother didn't have Facebook but as but I have
a feeling if she did, she would have been in
this group message too.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
Now, what was in the chat.

Speaker 4 (24:25):
Screenshots of messages from Jack's inbox, along with a message
about how quote, it's always seemed like you never truly
know people the way you think you do. Hence the
reason I think it was someone who knew us, because
they clearly connected some dots with people involved. The screenshots
were from messages between Jack and myself, Jack and one
of the two randoms I'll call her Alexa, and unbelievably

(24:48):
Jack and Beca. The screenshots involving myself and Alexa showed
timestaps timestamps that proved he was dating both of us.

Speaker 1 (24:56):
At the same time.

Speaker 4 (24:58):
Even though this was just a fun relationship for me,
Jack and I had been friends for a long time
since Becha was a mutual friend and had introduced us.
This dude had legit known me since I was thirteen.
Keep in mind we are now in late twenty twelve
and I am now twenty one, And even though it
was just fun, it's still also hurt because I didn't
think he was that type of guy, so I did

(25:19):
shed quite a bit of tears, but I think it
was more because of the lies than any true hurt.
At this point, however, I should point out that I
did have some suspicions about something, because that was what
had caused our fight less than forty eight hours prior.
The screenshots involving Jack and Becca, though, are the real
reason why I started crying, so keeping in mind, I
was only twenty one at this time and Becca was

(25:41):
twenty six. This was also back when people expected you
to have some form of a life plan before twenty five,
and when most people were still getting married young. In
these messages, Beca was super judgmental towards me. Some background
on Becca and why this pissed me off so much.
She had joined the National Guard and after base she
had been recycled twice during aiit only to be med

(26:04):
boarded because she hurt her back during at training. She
then had also started going to school to be a
sign language interpreter, which she quit doing three fourths of
the way through to her degree. She had also started
two other career paths, one being a paramedic and quit
less than halfway through. I'm interested to know, op how
any what any of this has to do with her

(26:24):
talking down on you. I've heard now that she managed
to get her LMT sometime after I had both of
my kids and it moved States, but I don't know
if it's true or if she just says she is
a girl you just skipped pregnancy, childbirth, and moving states.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
She didn't have her own life together, and here she
was gossiping with him about how I didn't have my
life together. However, in these messages, she was gossiping with
Jack about me. Again, the timestance are showing that this
was happening while he was dating me, and also Alexa.

Speaker 4 (26:55):
Apparently she was laughing with him about how she has
no idea what she even wants to do. She has
no drive or career path. It's ridiculous. She needs to
stop acting so high and mighty me, who was twenty
one and was actually in the process of trying to
get into college to be a language interpreter because I
wanted to work in the courts. I think she also
found out that I had been speaking to a recruiter
about joining the army, which that is a whole other

(27:17):
tale that I don't know if I can legally talk about,
and it's why I was never able to join. It
was those messages that fully sealed the deal of hurt,
because I had looked up to this woman as my
big sister. And yes, call me an ahole for dating
her ex because of girl code or whatever, but I
don't think that doing that would warrant the words she
said in those messages.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
See now, if you had an X and I wanted
to date her, the first thing I would go is, hey, hey, Riley,
if I were to date your ex, how would you
feel about that? And if you went no, I would go,
all right, I'm not dating your ex, thank you, And
that's how that goes. After that, my mother found out
about Jack.

Speaker 4 (27:50):
I think she was more upset that I had gone
out of state to visit him via Greyhound than me
actually not saying anything. But she was also flabbergasted at
what Becka I had been saying. She even offered to
speak to Becca's mother, but I said no, I was
just going to give a clean break and stop speaking
to her. I had an almost moment of weakness about

(28:11):
six weeks later, when I was working at the State Fair.
I had been working with my mother's family and then
had met someone who owned a business and had a
booth that said he would hire me as a new
employee for his kiosk at.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
The mall after the fair was over.

Speaker 4 (28:25):
One day, I was walking from my family to the
booth on my lunch break, and I had seen her
and her mother walking when I bent to the right
and was going to playfully shoulder checker. When I remembered why,
I stopped talking to her and quickly disappeared into the crowd.
What you were going to shoulder check her? After ghosting
her for six weeks? When I tell you, it hurts
so much that day to have to force myself not

(28:47):
to do that, I wound up in tears. I don't
think she saw me through, honestly.

Speaker 1 (28:52):
Okay. Cut to probably about ten years ago, twenty fifteen,
I got a friend request from Facebook. Guess who from
is this? Gonna be her ex fiance who ran off
with her brothers?

Speaker 3 (29:03):
So I want some buying in the story.

Speaker 4 (29:09):
Oh no, it was Becca. If you guessed Becca, you
get a cookie. She does in fact have LMT, which
I don't know what that means attached to her name,
So maybe she finally did something with her life.

Speaker 1 (29:19):
I don't know. Oh God.

Speaker 4 (29:21):
I denied the request after it sat there and I
was clearing out friend requests one day, but then, guess what,
not too long before the VID, she friend requested me again.
I blocked her this time as honestly I still haven't
forgiven her, and some people may think I'm an a
hole for that.

Speaker 1 (29:35):
I don't even think you're an a hole for that.
I think you're like a little baby. I think you're
an underdeveloped baby about that.

Speaker 4 (29:42):
But the feelings of entitlement that she was always giving
off and the backstabbing, which, by the way, those messages
with Jack was not the first time she had stabbed
me in the back, but they were the last. Right
about the time the divorce between my ex and I
was filed, she went and ratted to my parents that
she had bought me booze and I had had a
guy in a hotel room with me us because we

(30:02):
were making a weekend of it. I told her I
wanted to invite someone over for a bit, which she
said was fine, and he was there and gone within
like two hours. No, we did not do the spicy tango,
but she told my parents that we did, which caused
a massive amount of problems, especially with my father. Looking
back now, I think if I think it was her
own form of revenge for all the wedding stuff. Regardless,
though I feel a bit vindicated as I have kids

(30:25):
and a loving partner, and from what I have found out,
she still has no one. I'm living my life and
only think about her when I saw the friend request
before I finally just blocked her, or when I see
stories on this channel that for some reason make me
think of her. This post actually got sparked because I
was talking to someone about the entitled bridal party members.

(30:45):
Looking back, some may say that I was trying to
be her between choosing the same popular dress for my bridesmaids,
going to school to be an interpreter, dating the same
guy that she did, even when I was trying to
join the army. But that one was because I knew
it was a guaranteed fresh start somewhere else, and that
was what I had wanted at the time. As for
the interpreter stuff, I have always been very good with language.

(31:07):
I'm almost completely fluent in six different languages, including sign language. Heck,
she was even the one who took me to events
where I met some of my really good friends who
are all.

Speaker 3 (31:16):
Deaf, probably because they don't want to listen to you.

Speaker 4 (31:18):
And by the way, you can listen to your really
good friends us when you go listen to full episodes
with stories like this, except probably a little more streamline.

Speaker 1 (31:27):
Just go ahead and go to iHeartRadio or Apple Podcasts
or wherever you get your podcasts from and search.

Speaker 4 (31:32):
Okay, storytime, and then the world is oyster. So we
have a little bit of a story left.

Speaker 1 (31:38):
Let's get it over with, shall we.

Speaker 6 (31:41):
Yeah, please put me on my misery, but honestly, out
of all of it, her sense of entitlement over a
bridesmaid's dress as though it was hers and hers alone,
the expectation that she would be promoted to mate of
honor just because she had known me the longest, and
the ragging about a twenty one year old not having
her life put together when she was twenty six or
twenty seven, that's all really took the cake for me.

Speaker 4 (32:01):
Wow, So you threw away a lifetime of friendship for
really just like pettiness and not hearing her out or understanding.

Speaker 1 (32:06):
Her at all.

Speaker 4 (32:07):
Because I could sit here and I can see why
she would be upset about that, because do you realize
how traumatic that would probably be that your fiance leaves
you for your brother's wife, Like that's a permanent family
dynamic change. I don't even know if OPI is like
emotionally matured or grown enough to like know that she's.

Speaker 5 (32:28):
An a hole in this situation.

Speaker 4 (32:29):
Other people have told her that and that's why she's like,
I guess I am.

Speaker 3 (32:34):
I don't know. This just sounds exhausting And if I honestly,
if we heard this from Becca's point of view, we
would think that OPI is the a hole.

Speaker 4 (32:43):
Yeah, absolutely, But look, the bride's maid dress thing is
just understanding. She's probably triggered by it because it's reminding
her of her traumatic marriage ending. It blew up her
entire family. Probably not only did it hurt her, hurt
her brother. And now op is just being like, ugh,
and you were you were copying everything she did. You

(33:03):
copied her boyfriends, dude, you copied her career paths.

Speaker 1 (33:07):
And then you want to be like, she doesn't have
her line together at twenty soo. By the way, nobody
has their lives together. We are all guessing and figuring
it out at every moment. Like, let's be honest, I
don't know. I feel like I'm doing pretty good cool,
I was being a dic k.

Speaker 2 (33:25):
Hey, it's sam og host. We're gonna get back to
these delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads from
our sponsors to help support the show.

Speaker 7 (33:32):
My girlfriend got upset when I told her to buy
new clothes.

Speaker 5 (33:36):
She didn't like my reason. Are you gonna pay for them?
That's not happening. And then then why are you even
saying anything.

Speaker 7 (33:41):
I'm twenty three, finishing my last year for my masters.
My girlfriend, Sarah is twenty from the same university. Her
parents are Abuti and they all grew up dirt poor.
By the way, this comes from Consistent Outcome eight and
if you want to submit your own stories, go to
our slash oky story time Separate it. So Sarah is
very beautiful with no clothes on. She's literally the easiest
thing alive to me, Rah, whoa The problem lies in

(34:05):
the addendum. With clothes on, she dresses like an effing
homeless person.

Speaker 5 (34:10):
You're the a hole.

Speaker 7 (34:11):
Her clothes are all tattered with holes in them and
worn out. They don't fit properly, and most of her
outfits just plainly look ridiculous. She would wear red on
red and look like an effing period stain. She gets
them from the local goodwill because it's the only thing
she can afford. It's the only thing she can afford.
Perhaps we can use on brains. I'm genuinely embarrassed sometimes

(34:34):
when she accompanies me sedates, because I scratch my head
thinking how someone so beautiful can show up looking so ugly.

Speaker 5 (34:40):
She doesn't have money.

Speaker 7 (34:42):
Oh my god, my parents and friends have common and
on it too. Heck, just last weekend when we went
to the pool, my mom said, Wow, I didn't know
your girlfriend was actually pretty. It's because she wore a
plane bathing suit.

Speaker 5 (34:54):
The whole time.

Speaker 7 (34:55):
I mentioned the abuse thing because I feel like, at
some point growing up, her parents had to have been
negligent to let their child leave the house looking like that.
My parents are upper middle class because I got enough
scholarships to go to school for basically free. My parents
decided to give me fifty thousand dollars as a graduation
gift that I never touch. I decided, Hey, maybe I
should help my girlfriend look presentable, So I gave her

(35:17):
a five thousand dollars gift card for Macy's for our
one year anniversary yesterday and told her that she can
use it for a shopping spree.

Speaker 5 (35:24):
She was very.

Speaker 7 (35:25):
Grateful but said she couldn't accept it. I'm sorry, I
probably wouldn't accept five thousand dollars. Yeah, that's insane.

Speaker 1 (35:33):
I would be so uncomfortable.

Speaker 7 (35:34):
She was very grateful but said she couldn't accept it.
She gave me a watch and a card, which I
loved and am very appreciative of. I asked her why not, and.

Speaker 5 (35:41):
She said it was too much. I told her it
was just as much.

Speaker 7 (35:45):
A gift for me as it was for her, and
when she asked me to elaborate, I basically admitted that
her clothes make her look like a homeless person and
wanted to teach her how to dress and give her
a new wardrobe.

Speaker 5 (35:55):
Okay, part of me obviously terrible things day. Part of
me is really excited for like the two thousands montage
like shopping that could happen. Hate how it came up.

Speaker 7 (36:06):
See see if this were in early nineties, Yeah, rom com. Yeah,
but you're also like you're like enemies to lovers, Like
you're not a relationship, but your enemies to levers.

Speaker 5 (36:17):
You're like somehow you're fake dating or something. Yeah, like
you're somehow assigned to like help this girl outeah in
some sort of weird program.

Speaker 7 (36:23):
And you're like, oh, girl, you really need a makeover.
She actually got really offended at me and we had
a huge fight. She accused me of finding her unattractive,
which is absolutely not true. She just can't dress and
told me if I just wanted a trophy girl to
look at, find someone else.

Speaker 5 (36:41):
Yet, period period. Good on her for saying that.

Speaker 7 (36:45):
Yeah, yeah, I tried to be as sympathetic as I could,
but frankly, I was pissed off by her reaction. I
didn't even put the onus on her to buy new clothes.
I gave her five thousand dollars to buy a whole
new wardrobe and she reacts like this, you are so
out of touch, it's shocking.

Speaker 5 (37:02):
Oh my goodness.

Speaker 7 (37:04):
It was very inconsiderate, over the top reaction, especially considering
I'm the one paying for it. My friends all agree
with me that what she did was over the top,
but my sister said she was probably embarrassed in the
way I went about it, and I was being a clown.

Speaker 5 (37:17):
At least your sister can have a little bit of sense.

Speaker 7 (37:20):
I truly don't see how I'm in the wrong at
all in this situation, So Reddit help me understand. Am
I the ale for offering to pay for a brand
new wardrobe?

Speaker 5 (37:29):
We're about to witness a level of the visceration that
we don't often see in Reddit stories. Yeah, or at
least we see it sometimes, but this is the most justified.

Speaker 7 (37:41):
Oh boy, I'm excited, Oh boy, oh boy, I'm excited
to let you get a viscerated relevant comments Black and shredded.

Speaker 5 (37:51):
You're the Ale one hundred percent, unequivocally. Lmfao. You compared
her to a period stain.

Speaker 7 (37:58):
Yeah, the way you speak about her is a but
I'm not surprised by how self absorbed person an egotistical
you come off in your post. You fail to see
why your girlfriend's feelings might be hurt. Take a step back,
think of productive ways to address the problem, and stop
acting like an effing tool. Opie says, I didn't compare
her to a period stained to her face. I was

(38:19):
just saying that to emphasize how bad she's dressing up
and how bad her clothes are. I truly think that
people are saying you're the Ale just don't realize how
bad she dresses I get shat.

Speaker 5 (38:28):
On all the time.

Speaker 7 (38:29):
It's not like, Wow, she should probably choose a different outfit.
It's more like, what the f Why is she wearing
dresses with giant holes in them with tattered shoes that
don't get together?

Speaker 5 (38:38):
Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh.

Speaker 7 (38:40):
Kurry An says, you're the a hole. Did it never
occur to you that maybe she likes her clothes, Opie?
She literally wears clothes with holes and admits she has
absolutely no fashion sense. I've had four different friends on
different occasions ask me why she's wearing what she's wearing.
For example, one time we went on a fancy dinner
date and she wore a tattered red dress shirt three

(39:01):
sizes too big with a skirt with polka dots and
look just silly. I get I sound blunt rude in
my post, but I'm trying to emphasize just how bad
she dresses. Korean says, so that's a no. You can't
imagine that she might actually like the clothes she's chosen.
Opie says, no, she doesn't love dirty, dingy clothes with
holes in it. If anything, she might be too prideful

(39:22):
to take money from me. But why would anyone like old, tattered,
up ding dingy, discolored clothes. She might like her style,
but the quality of clothing is atrocious Korean, I know
people who like wearing dirty things with the holes in them.
You've talked about what you think about her clothes. You
talked about what your parents think about her clothes. You
talked about what your friends think about her clothes. But
you don't seem to know or care what she thinks

(39:44):
about her clothes. That's why you're the ale. Any response
other than I previously I previously asked her and she
said she didn't like her clothes.

Speaker 5 (39:52):
Just makes you worse.

Speaker 7 (39:53):
Honestly, even if she said she didn't like her clothes,
you're still ale. Yeah, I'm sorry, offerings I want five
thousand dollars and telling them that insulting how they dress. Again,
for a person who can't afford to buy better clothes,
you are the a hole automatically.

Speaker 5 (40:11):
Yeah, Like if this was something where it was like,
you know, she expressed a lot of curiosity or like
excitement about clothes, but she just couldn't afford it, and
she like really wanted to you know, shop here and
there whatever, And then you gave her this good card
because of that, that would be super nice. Still a lot, Yeah,
but like but the fact that you're just like, yeah,

(40:31):
please spend my money. Please spend five thousand dollars of
my money so that you don't embarrass me in public,
It's like, Oh, get over yourself. Oh my god, get
over yourself.

Speaker 4 (40:43):
Edit.

Speaker 7 (40:43):
I got a few comments already that I only mentioned. Look,
so I'm the a hole. But why the heck would
I mention things like how much I love when she
kisses my cheek when she thinks I'm asleep, or that
when she goes to the store and asks if I
want anything and I say no, she'll still pick up
something small just because or the fact that we communicate
amazingly and for the most part, never have any major conflicts,
or any other non appearance looking attribute. It just wasn't

(41:05):
relevant to the station at hand. Edit. I want to reiterate,
I'd be fine with her shopping at Goodwill if she
bought clothes that made her look presentable. I'm just saying
her fashion sense is atrocious. Mixed with the fact that
she does tend to buy, didn't she clothes that tend
to get rips holes in it?

Speaker 5 (41:20):
Easily.

Speaker 7 (41:21):
She never replaces her clothes, so she wears years old,
hand me down clothes with horrible fashion sense. So she
looks silly. I know, me continuously reitering just how silly
she looks makes me sound like an a hole. But
I literally get people commenting on her fashion sense. Literal
strangers common on it. She looks genuinely ridiculous, and I
don't know how to emphasize just how bad she dresses

(41:41):
without sounding like a tool. Last edit, I genuinely don't
think people understand the extent. So I'm gonna enlist some
experience I've had with her dressing like she does. The
one I've mentioned in the op my mom when she
said I didn't think she was actually pretty. I was
hanging with some friends and some strangers, and when my
girlfriend went to the bathroom, a stranger said, it looks
like she just came from panhandling.

Speaker 5 (42:02):
So here's the moment we're used to think to yourself, Hey,
I love my girlfriend. I still think she's beautiful. I
don't care what she wears. I don't care what strangers think.
That's what you say. That's what you say in that situation, not.

Speaker 3 (42:17):
Like, oh my gosh.

Speaker 5 (42:18):
I can't believe a random person thinks my girlfriend was panhandling. Ah,
that's not that's not what you're saying.

Speaker 7 (42:25):
I've had a stranger ask if we had a costume
convention we're going to. On two different occasions, I've had
young children comment. The first said why do you look
so funny? And the second said why do you dress
the strange. I've had multiple different friends on multiple different
occasions asked why she dresses so eccentrically. It's not just
me acting like a wiener or being shallow. It's a
genuine problem.

Speaker 5 (42:44):
No, it's not.

Speaker 7 (42:45):
But I will say that she doesn't purposely ruin her clothes.
I'm certain she either is just unaware of how she dresses.
A couple of use victims commented and said it was
likely because they were mistreated and they share similar experiences
as my girlfriend. Her wearing bad clothes isn't a fashion statement.
I'm pretty sure she's just unaware.

Speaker 5 (43:02):
Verdict ahole, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but there.

Speaker 7 (43:07):
Is an update atit. We have since talked about the
problem and it's pretty much resolved. So I finally talked
to my girlfriend. She's with me right now. Before I
had a chance to apologize, she burst out crying. When
she finally stopped, she was able to open up. Apparently,
her parents were extremely abusive, even worse than I originally thought.
Up until she was eighteen, she only had one outfit,

(43:28):
just one. Her parents had a ton of weird, oddly
specific ways to control their children, like For example, they
tried to force her to be right handed because she
was lefty, where they made her only take cold showers
for mental fortitude. When she finally got from her parents' control,
she had no idea how to dress, so she went
to Goodwill and just bought a bunch of colorful clothes
that looked neat. She had absolutely no experience in dressing herself,

(43:52):
and she never really felt like she should ask. She
just assumed one shirt, one pant equals one outfit, regardless
of the color, of size, wear, tear, et cetera. When
I pointed out her style was strange, she got extremely
defensive because she was never confronted with this before. She
thought her sense of style was average, and when in
previous attempts I tried to subtly bring up to wear
a different outfit, she just thought that that outfit was bad.

(44:15):
When I explicitly said in general, her style was bad.
She just felt completely embarrassed. We're going shopping tomorrow and
buying her a bunch of new clothes. I apologize for
not bringing up more tactfully, and she insisted it was okay,
and she probably wouldn't have gotten the hint if I
kept beating around the bush. But we don't want to
beat around the bush with you, because you can listen

(44:35):
to full episodes of stories just like this. Just go
to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search.

Speaker 5 (44:40):
A pokey storytime.

Speaker 7 (44:41):
But there is a little bit more left of the story.
I guess I'm glad that you guys worked it out.

Speaker 5 (44:48):
Yeah, my advice for you is to work on how
you talk to people. Absolutely, because even from the beginning, Yeah,
even if it wasn't some sort of like you know,
thing about the clothes being you know, tattered and torn
and like cheap clothes or something like that, even if
it was just genuinely she wanted to wear red on

(45:10):
red and wanted to look like a period stain because no, like,
I'm so for like experimenting with your clothes. Just wear
what you want because that's fun. Especially if she has
no like outer influences. I know, like there's all this
stuff in her bass, which just emphasizes the problem. But
even if that wasn't the case, and she just genuinely

(45:30):
didn't pay attention to it before, just genuinely didn't have
like trends pushed on her and something like that, then
that's even better that she has this like just creative
exactly like mine, just being like, oh, yeah, these colors
look great. I like these colors, so I want to
put them together and I want to wear them.

Speaker 7 (45:44):
That's such a great point because I feel like finding
as someone who, like I grew up going to Catholic
school and wearing a uniform all the time. When I
started wearing my own clothes and picking out my own
outfits and stuff, it started off like not probably not great, yeah,
And then you know, I've started figuring out what my
style was ably, and I would say, like sometimes I

(46:05):
do dress a little bit more like eccentrically or you know,
not trendly, and because I like it, and I like
dressing kind of you know, I love colors, I love patterns,
and it's like you're figuring out your own style and
just because it's not you know, a trendy or something
or what other people think that you should wear.

Speaker 5 (46:25):
Who cares.

Speaker 7 (46:26):
Thank you for the people who tactfully told me I
was the a hole, and thanks to the others who
took my concerns seriously besides just completely dismissing me because
they personally hadn't had my experience. Black and Shredded comes
back with another relevant comment. I read through all Opie's
replies and edits, and I decided to change my judgment.
According to Opie, he gets countless people comment on his
girlfriend's appearance, including having people be genuinely surprised when not

(46:48):
in clothing, had complete strangers comment and say it looks
like she came from panhandling, had young children comment children
are brutally honest. Had many people comment and ask I
don't think I'm particularly material. But if that many people
are commenting about her clothing choice, something is wrong. If
one person did, then he's an ale, If three they're
the ale. But that many, I'm starting to think you

(47:09):
may have a point in being embarrassed. You didn't approach
it the best, but that can be blamed on your autism.
Being autistic doesn't completely absolve you, but at the end
of the day, you were trying to do a nice
thing and just went about it completely terribly. I can't
in good conscious keep my previous judgment. I do recommend
talking to her, obviously, but you said you plan to later.

Speaker 5 (47:27):
Good luck.

Speaker 7 (47:27):
I hope it all everything turns out. Well, what you're
gonna do, say what you gonna do when I think
the responses to this aren't fair. Just because you didn't
see ahead what some criticisms were going to be doesn't
mean that your responses aren't true.

Speaker 5 (47:41):
Reddit loves a bandwagon. I don't agree with these comments.

Speaker 7 (47:45):
I also don't think they're fair because I believe you
wrote your post more harshly than you probably presented to her.
But Reddit assumes the worst in that situation. Okay, well,
Reddit seems to have turned around on the last posts.
I don't agree, but you know, I'm glad that Ope,
you know, seemed to have come to some sort of realization.

Speaker 5 (48:05):
Yeah, glad to talk to that. Glad you know they
can figure it out. But definitely work on your tack,
work on your tact.

Speaker 7 (48:15):
Yeah, absolutely, And don't just hand out five thousand dollars
to people and then be like, why would they take them,
aren't they grateful?

Speaker 5 (48:22):
And that's kind of like really condescending, especially since you
want her to change.

Speaker 7 (48:26):
Yeah, you directly want her to change because you're embarrassed
at her.

Speaker 5 (48:29):
Yeah, that's extremely condescending, patronizing. I got an international trip
for me and my boyfriend, but he's not excited about it,
then give it to me. There you go, hand it over.
So for one of my boyfriend's Christmas presents, I revealed
that I have bought us a ten day holiday to
Italy for his fortieth birthday. It's five days in Rome

(48:51):
and five days by Lake Garda in some lush accommodation,
and I have even bought us business class tickets. Say, man,
I want to go. Oh it's crazy. By the way,
this comes from deleted and if you want to submit
your own stories, just go to the r slash okay
storytime separreddit. So he has only traveled outside of the
UK twice in his life, and during a conversation ages ago,

(49:12):
he let it slip that Italy is on his bucket
list and that he really wants to start going on
holidays outside of the UK. The problem is, however, that
when he was told about as present, he seemed really
underwhelmed by it. I'm not sure if it's me needing
to adjust my expectations, but he just gave such an
unenthusiastic monotone Okay, thanks, that's great, and said no more.

(49:33):
That is upsetting. I would be pissed. Yeah what. Later on,
I tried making conversation to build up some sort of
enthusiastic response, but he just didn't respond with any sort
of joy. It always seems to happen if I get
excited about something, he just becomes non responsive or feels
like he needs to bring me down to earth. But
I don't understand why he's doing this. When I got
in something he only dreamed of being able to do,

(49:56):
I asked what he would like to see or what
food he is looking forward to try, and he just
rugged and said I don't know. Or when I said
what I've seen before, how awesome places like Pompeii are
to visit, he just gives basic platitudes of uh huh
and doesn't even look up from his phone. The thing is,
his favorite dessert is tearing me Sue, and he loves pizza.
Yet he just seems so disinterested and it's completely just

(50:19):
not engaged in any conversation about Italy at all. I
don't understand it all, and now I feel stupid for
being so excited. It's honestly really upset me, as I
put so much effort into all of this, and I
don't make a lot of money. I work part time
and aim on disability benefits, so I had to save
up for so long to get this for him. I'm
going to try and calm down a bit and talk
to him this evening, but I just wanted to know

(50:41):
beforehand if I'm thinking about this the wrong way before
I do.

Speaker 1 (50:44):
So.

Speaker 5 (50:45):
There are some comments Logical with Sabby seventy four zero
two says, Hey, I noticed you weren't very happy about
the gift I got you. Can you tell me why?

Speaker 7 (50:54):
Exactly what I was gonna say? Talk to your husband
say hey, not like this, but like it's up with
the reaction, you know. Yeah, just have that conversation, because
good relationship is nothing without communication exactly exactly.

Speaker 5 (51:08):
Ope response, Yeah, I'm going to talk about it later,
and was essentially going to ask this, but I wanted
to see if there were things I hadn't considered so
I can go into the convo even more open minded,
not for coming do you no, whatever that is, I'm
going to talk about it later. Shame he didn't talk
about it before. I hope it's refundable. Fluvey Puppy says,

(51:30):
just saw Pea's history that her boyfriend broke up with
her two months ago. Oh whoa was little spoiler for
an update.

Speaker 7 (51:38):
No, I think like two months before this post he
had broken up and maybe they got together.

Speaker 5 (51:44):
Oh no, oh.

Speaker 7 (51:45):
My gosh, probably already on the rocks.

Speaker 5 (51:48):
I probably wouldn't have done this big of a thing.
We just broken up. Yeah, not good. If this is
the same boyfriend and somehow the two you reconciled, it's
maybe that he's already checked out of the relationship and
thought of spending ten days in his dream country with
you with when issues aren't sorted out yet and the
two of you aren't exactly in the best place. Is

(52:10):
more stressful than exciting. Uh not for commenting on Google's
that says if she leaves out such violent info, how
the heck can she get good advice? It's obviously the explanation.
Static Caravan says, So did you break up or were
you lying on your previous post? OPI responds, I posted
a comment and he broke up with me like an

(52:30):
hour after he said that he wanted to break up,
but less than twenty four hours than that, he calmed
down from his breakdown and regretted everything. So no lying here.
So they didn't break up Okay, okay, but probably not
in a great place still, Yeah, I think so. I've
seen him get really excited when playing new games, et cetera.

(52:51):
But it's weird if I'm excited about something he hardly
ever is, and as I was excited to tell him,
it's typical that he didn't respond in the same manner.
Before this, he was absolutely fine and talking to me
like normal, which is what made it feel weird, because
he seemed to almost shut down when being told we
aren't rich at all. He doesn't make more money than me,
but we aren't flushed with cash at all. He is

(53:13):
very much not the type of person that plans anything.
In his words, he is a very content person that
does not think on things unless they are put in
front of him. And he likes that. I think of
all of these wonderful things for us to do together.
So normally date nights, small breaks, even what we eat
is down to me getting as much info as I
can from him, and then filling in the gaps where
he doesn't say anything. It's a lot of effort. Is

(53:36):
he even talking to you, have great question or even
having conversation. The thing is, though, I don't expect him
to be on my level at all, as I'm a
bubbly person, but he seems less excited about this despite
me booking exactly where he has said he's wanted to go,
compared to even the last day I took him on
a winter Wonderland nighttime walk around Birmingham Botanical Gardens. That

(53:58):
sounds beautiful. Yeah, it's just really thrown me as he
hasn't been this disinterested in something I've planned ever. Yet
it's exactly what he has said he has wanted. And
we do have an update. Do we have any thoughts
before we roll into that. I don't know.

Speaker 7 (54:14):
It seems like you guys have maybe some unresolved issues.

Speaker 5 (54:17):
That's my only thought. Yeah, like that that one commenter
said something that I was kind of thinking of too,
of like maybe he's just checked out of the relationship.
Like that's what it feels like, even if they didn't
previously break up. Maybe he has kind of thought about
it again.

Speaker 7 (54:31):
Well, the fact that he thought about he said it, yeah,
and then went back on it, and we don't think
about it.

Speaker 5 (54:37):
Yeah, we don't know all the info on that, but
I could definitely be possible. And he's just like avoiding
it and being like, yeah, so excited. It's kind of
like how I feel like at my job, at my
other job, Like I'm like gonna put my two weeks
in like tomorrow, and we're talking about like plans for
the future, and I'm like, yeah, it's really cool.

Speaker 3 (55:00):
I love it.

Speaker 5 (55:01):
Awkward people, it's Christmas. I've been with my family enjoying
it and not on my phone. I have an update,
but my first. But first, I wanted to point out
two months ago, my boyfriend finally stood up to his mother.
As a result, she disowned him. He had an utter breakdown,
and he went on a self destructive rampage that included
him breaking up with me with the excuse that he

(55:22):
can't handle my disability. This lasted for less than twenty
four hours before he calmed down and regretted everything. I
understand how he got to the point he did, and
I don't hold it against him for people to almost
find joy in finding a comment when I was besides mine,
when I was beside myself is really odd. You can
judge me and him all you want for this, but
I stand by him as I witness his mother's firsthand.

(55:44):
So my actual update, he rang me before I had
the chance to sit him down as we as he
went for a drive for a bit whilst I went
to see my parents. He is feeling it a lot
with not seeing his family this Christmas. He needed to
drive around to calm himself down. And on top of this,
he is let me know that one of the two
times he went abroad was a nasty ex that basically

(56:05):
shamed and belittled him the entire trip because she paid
for it.

Speaker 7 (56:09):
All.

Speaker 5 (56:10):
Okay, interesting, so when I said I got him a holiday,
he had kind of a flashback of that. But he's
basically apologized and is already saying what he's excited to do, okay,
and that you know what exactly communication, We get more context.

Speaker 7 (56:26):
We learned, and he's not checked out the relationship. He
was just having flashbacks to another relationship.

Speaker 5 (56:30):
Thank you all for taking the time to respond, whether
it was to support or to offer a different viewpoint.
Merry Christmas do all. But that's the end of the story. Wow.
But I mean, by the way, you can always find
more episodes with full stories just like this one. You
could go to your favorite podcast now, iHeartRadio, Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

(56:51):
whatever you want and search. Okay, story time, we'll be
there for you. But again, that is the end of
the story. Yeah.

Speaker 7 (56:58):
Well, perhaps to you for having the conversation that you
needed to have and figuring it out.

Speaker 5 (57:02):
Yes, you get to go to go to Rome, man, Yes,
and enjoy it.

Speaker 7 (57:07):
Oh you know what, go to Rome. Krishna thirteen. Great
Indian place. Oh, really excellent Indian food.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
Wow in Rome.

Speaker 5 (57:15):
Yeah that's cool. I think best Indian food I've ever had.

Speaker 7 (57:19):
Whoah, Wow, that's pretty cool or maybe one of the best.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (57:23):
Common below if you've been there. Yeah, Christia thirteen. I
think that's what's called.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
Hey, it's Jean here. We're gonna get back to this episode.
But a quick three minute break with the aswer More sponsors.

Speaker 7 (57:33):
I made my partner miss a family trip because he
refused to act like an adult.

Speaker 5 (57:38):
Why don't you cry about it like a little baby?

Speaker 7 (57:40):
Who My twenty six female and my partner twenty eight
male have five daughters seven, six, four, three and five months. Wow,
that's a lot of daughters. For a long time, there's
been an issue with him getting up to help with
the kids every morning. He thinks he should be able
to sleep in on his days off of work. Well,

(58:00):
I think he should get up with the kids and
I do, or should at least be alternating who lies
in a bit?

Speaker 5 (58:06):
Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 7 (58:07):
By the way, this comes from deleted and if you
want to submit your own stories, go to our slash
Okay storytime Separate. We've been seeing a therapist who is
mentioned he should be helping more in the mornings. Recently,
we had a family trip planned to the zoo with
both of our parents, our sisters, and their kids. Previously,
we've gone out for the day. I've needed to shake
my partner awake several times, and he lies in bed

(58:27):
while I get the kids ready. He'll finally get up
five minutes before we leave as I shout at him
I'm getting in the car. I mentioned to him that
this is very frustrating, as it's a lot of work
getting the kids ready to go out, and it's not
fair to leave it up to me while he lies
in bed. He'd apologize and promise that the next time
he get up and help. The night before the trip,

(58:48):
I told him I'd need him to be awake at
six thirty am so we could get everyone ready to
leave by eight am. He said he'd set an alarm
and we went to bed. My alarm went off at
six thirty am, and I got up while my partner
kept sleeping. I decided I wasn't going to wakem this
time and continue getting the kids ready. At eight am,
he was still sleeping, so I loaded the kids in

(59:10):
the car and we set off. We arrived at the
zoo at nine thirty am, and his family asked where
he was. I mentioned he was still in bed and
chose not to come. Why wouldn't you wake him up?

Speaker 5 (59:21):
That's what I'm wondering. I would totally wake him up.

Speaker 7 (59:24):
Okay, So Opie is basically saying I have tried before.
I've had to shake him awake, and it's frustrating always
having to wake him up to get him to do this.

Speaker 5 (59:33):
I see.

Speaker 7 (59:34):
At ten fifteen am, I got a phone call from
him asking where everyone was.

Speaker 5 (59:40):
Dude, ten fifteen.

Speaker 7 (59:42):
I said, we went to the zoo as planned, and
I waited for him to get up, but he never did.
He got really mad and told me that I should
have woken him up like I always do, and I
caused him to miss the trip. He then called his
mom and complained to her, who yelled at me in
the middle of the zoo that I was being unfair
and I shouldn't give him a shake to let him
know he needed to to get up.

Speaker 5 (01:00:00):
And then I was about to leave.

Speaker 7 (01:00:01):
My mother jumped in and said it wasn't my responsibility
to get him out of bed and he needed to
take responsibility for himself. A few more words were exchanged,
and his family stalked off for the rest of the trip.
I had a blast with my kids, parents, sisters, and
my nephews. When we got home, my partners started up
on me again about how I should have woken him up.
So am I the ale for not waking him up

(01:00:23):
and going without him? A few things have come up
I want to clarify. He wasn't always like this. When
the oldest two were little, he was always up with them.
He even got up before anyone else to cook breakfast
before going off to work. We had to move in
with his parents at one point and that's where things
started to change. His family are incredibly misogynistic. Dad works,

(01:00:44):
then comes home, watches TV and drinks adult soda while
his mom does everything else, including getting him up for work. Yeah,
these beliefs seem to have rubbed off on him, and
his mom is very quick to tell him something is
the woman's job. He's seeing a therapist independently. It was
suggested some form of depression. He's generally pretty good. Otherwise,
he will help with dinner, cleaning, putting the kids to bed,

(01:01:05):
et cetera.

Speaker 5 (01:01:05):
He's not entirely useless.

Speaker 7 (01:01:07):
Getting out of bed in the morning is a long
standing issue, though he has a vasectomy. He had a
vasectomy after baby number four, which turned out to be incomplete.
I had a hysterectomy. I think give it a chance,
see if the therapy is working. But you should also
just tell him, like, hey, you can't go to I
understand that we're at odds here, but you can't go
to your mother. Yeah, to fight your battles for you,

(01:01:30):
comment one, not the a hole. I taught my daughter
that she was responsible for getting herself up for high
school and if she missed the bus, I wasn't gonna driver.

Speaker 5 (01:01:38):
She never missed the bus.

Speaker 7 (01:01:39):
Yeah, I have like an automatic alarm of seven thirty
now because of my parents, because oh really yeah, because
my parents always woke up at like six thirty when
I was going to school.

Speaker 5 (01:01:49):
Oh yeah, yeah, I know. My mom would always get
up at like four or five to get everything ready
before like we had to go to school. And now
she's retired and doesn't have a job, but like still
doesn't reply.

Speaker 7 (01:02:00):
My mom did that to me, and one time my
alarm didn't go off right, I ended up bumming a
ride to a school with the strange man because I
was terrified at being late reply. There in lies the
problem with threats of punitive measures. My dad once told
me i was thirteen, that if I became a pregnant
teen like the neighbor's daughter, I'd be punted out.

Speaker 5 (01:02:17):
My mom went nuts at him.

Speaker 7 (01:02:18):
Do you want your daughter passing away on a backstreet table?

Speaker 5 (01:02:22):
WHOA? I could still remember the deer in headlights look
on his face?

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
WHOA? A?

Speaker 7 (01:02:26):
Reply, Well, if dad's threat didn't scare you straight, I
bet mom's message did.

Speaker 1 (01:02:30):
Reply.

Speaker 7 (01:02:30):
Yep, it's one thing to say that if you f
around with daily responsibilities, you face the consequences and your
parents won't be getting won't be your get out of
jail free card. It's quite another to say that if
you massively f up and are facing a crisis, mom
and dad will punish you instead of helping you. Yeah,
there are different ways to parent effectively, and it's making
sure that you know that your child has consequences, but.

Speaker 5 (01:02:54):
Also knowing that you are a safe place for them.
It's also interesting and worth pointing out that all of
these comments are talking about how their parents reacted to
them and how their parents parented them when they were children,
relating to how this wife is treating her husband. I mean,

(01:03:14):
I was about to say, yeah, they're all talking about
the parenting. Yeah.

Speaker 7 (01:03:17):
Yeah, So it's like, oh, even it's not actually that
relevant to the story.

Speaker 5 (01:03:21):
Well but it is, though. That's just how ridiculous it is.
It's like we're talking about about, you know, the husband
wanting a mother, but at the same time, this is
what a mother does, yea. So if you want a mother,
I'll show you up about that.

Speaker 7 (01:03:35):
But there is an update. After posting this, I received
messages expressing concern and advice, though, so I thought i'd
update about how things turned out. The morning after this incident,
my partner got out of bed when the kids did
and took the older girls out for breakfast. Later, I
asked him if he'd be willing to read.

Speaker 5 (01:03:51):
The thread, and he agreed.

Speaker 7 (01:03:52):
He was very subdued after and didn't say it, and
didn't say much except for agreeing that he was an ale.
The next day, he took off work and saw his
GP started on antidepressants and we had a long talk.
He was ashamed by how he was acting and to
see strangers comparing him to children. He cried when realizing
how much he was letting everyone down, especially his daughters,

(01:04:14):
who will grow up thinking this is normal behavior. He
confirmed that this all started when we lived with his
parents a few years back. He left home at seventeen
to get away from his mother, and she told them
he'd fail as men need a woman to look after them.
He felt like a failure, so it was easy for
his mother to feed him other ideas, and she would
also manipulate things I did to look like he was incompetent.

(01:04:35):
Incompetent as a person. Example, I'd tell him to relax
and I'd handle the dishes, and his mother twisted it
into me, thinking he was incompetent, so he should just
stop helping it all, he'd wake up feeling useless, and
she managed to convince him that he was unhappy because
I wasn't taking care of him the way a wife should.
He decided to go no contact with her, which didn't

(01:04:55):
go well. She cried and told them he was a
horrible son for abandoning his mother and that I was
trying to control them by forcing him to do it.
He blocked her, but she just used different numbers to
continue calling him. After a week or so, he ended
up changing his number and we haven't heard from his
family since. He brought up that he was unhappy at
work as it wasn't stimulating enough, but he felt like

(01:05:17):
he couldn't leave. I offered to pick up some part
time work, but he said no. He talked to his
boss and took some time off and eventually quit. He
spoke to my dad. He used some connections and got
him a good job at his company. The new job
is primarily work from home position, so he is able
to help with the girls more and has more free time.
He is able to take the girls to school and

(01:05:38):
watch them play while he works.

Speaker 5 (01:05:40):
Which they all enjoy. This is great.

Speaker 7 (01:05:42):
But you know what, you'll enjoy full episodes of stories
just like this.

Speaker 5 (01:05:46):
Just go to Spotify, Apple podcast or iHeartRadio and search
a pokest free time. Just do it. But there's a
little bit left of the story. Do you have any
final thoughts. I'm glad that that seemed to work.

Speaker 7 (01:05:56):
I know they had a conversation. She showed him the
Reddit comments.

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
And he was like, whoa.

Speaker 5 (01:06:01):
He's like, dang man, you might be onto something. You're
onto something, and then communication and then it's and you know,
they worked with you know, his own mental struggles. Yeah,
which is great. Realized you know he had some depression
issues with depression. Yeah, and we're working towards solutions. Good
on you, guys, Good on you. Yes, but there's a
little bit left.

Speaker 7 (01:06:21):
Before he started the new job, he booked a trip
for us to go to the snow for a week.
We had a blast and it was lovely to see
him relaxed and happy and enjoying our girls in life.
He promised to be more honest about how he's feeling
and a relationship has improved immensely. Thank you for everyone
who gave judgment and advice. As he says, it really
helped him see things more clearly, especially the toxic relationship.

Speaker 1 (01:06:43):
With his mother.

Speaker 5 (01:06:45):
And that is the end of that story. Well, you know,
sometimes you just gotta fall on your face a little
bit and then you pick yourself up and then you
learn from it, and that's fine, so true, that's so fine.

Speaker 7 (01:06:57):
Well that was the end of that story and the
end of this a eppisod what so, if you love us,
make sure to subscribe. We love you and see you tomorrow.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My friend’s girlfriend RUINED the food I made… it cost her the relationship! | Reddit Stories