My girlfriend REJECTED my proposal… then I kissed her sister! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2672 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:06):
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Speaker 3 (00:11):
My girlfriend rejected my proposal. Then I kissed her sister.

Speaker 4 (00:16):
You did not take that well.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
My girlfriend, twenty five female, and I twenty five male,
have been dating for ten years. Prior to dating, we
were close friends. We've known each other for almost seventeen
years now. Last month I proposed to her and she
said she needed some more time to get her life
in order. The whole thing shocked me. She apologized and
I told her it was okay. By the way, this
come from user least Ants, and if you want to

(00:39):
submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
So Brette, I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, and I'm Vincent.

Speaker 5 (00:44):
We got Kean back here too.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
And we're here to give good advice. Goofly, but we
don't have all the answers. We only know what we know,
so let us know what you know in the comments. However,
I've been checking out of my relationship ever since she
said no.

Speaker 4 (00:55):
As the days pass.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
I am slowly falling out of love with her, and
she has probably noticed it. I have stopped initiating date nights,
spicy sleep, and she has been pretty much initiating everything.
She has asked me many times about proposing, and she
has said she's ready now, but I told her I
need more time to think about it. She has assured
me many times that we're meant to be together and
that she wants me to be her life partner forever.

(01:18):
We live together in an apartment, but our lease is
expiring in a couple of months. I don't really plan
on extending it, and I'm probably going to break up
with her.

Speaker 4 (01:25):
Then, am I the a hole?

Speaker 3 (01:26):
Comment one? If you're that sure about breaking up, do
it now? Opie says, okay, I will let her know tomorrow.
We have our ten year anniversary on Friday, and she
said she has planned something really special for me the
whole day.

Speaker 4 (01:40):
She's proposing to you. Ah, she's proposing.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
To you, So I will let her know before then.
Comment too, Did you and your girlfriend have a discussion
about marriage before you proposed?

Speaker 4 (01:50):
Opie said yes.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
I did go ring shopping with her a few months
ago to pick out her ring. To be honest, I'm
feeling a bit depressed about everything, so I just want
to block this out from my memory. Comment three says
you've known each other since you were eight, you've been
dating since you were fifteen. This is the old lady
in me talking, but neither of you have experienced much
else than each other. Yes, talk to each other. Others
have said this, but you really need to work this out.

(02:13):
It's very possible that breaking up is the best thing
for both of you. You're both still young. Don't decide
to get married just because you've put in the time.
Comment four. I agree with the other comments that not
communicating any of this until your leases up is a
bad move. It's bad enough you'll both be experiencing adulthood
without the other for the first time, but you have
a huge advantage by knowing you need to prepare ahead

(02:34):
of time. Leaving her in the dark is cruel and undeserved,
since it sounds like all she did was not accept
a seemingly surprise proposal. And there is an update from
seventeen months later. So I am engaged to my fiance.
We've been together for eleven years. Our biggest relationship difficulty
happened last year when I proposed and she rejected me.
That was genuinely the worst moment of my life. Even

(02:55):
though she apologized in the days and weeks after, and
she said she panicked in that she did want to
marry me. I was very close to ending things. Eventually,
I stayed and a few months later I proposed again
and she said yes immediately and was super happy about it.

Speaker 6 (03:09):
But it's always been in the.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
Back of my mind how she rejected and humiliated me.

Speaker 4 (03:14):
When I first proposed to her.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
So my fiance has a sister. The three of us
grew up almost like a trio growing up, though I
was always closer to her sister, she always reminded me
of my own sister, who passed when she was ten.
I am now no longer certain whose sister we're talking about.

Speaker 4 (03:30):
That that's weird.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
Are we talking about the older sister? I think we're
always talking about I think we're talking about the older sister.

Speaker 4 (03:34):
I'm the older sister. Okay.

Speaker 3 (03:36):
She asked me out once in middle school and again
in freshman year of high school, but I always saw
her like a sister, And in sophomore year I started
dating my fiance. The younger sister. She was nothing but
supportive and was genuinely happy for us. So yeah, Thanksgiving
was yesterday. I was invited. I'm close with her parents too,
and we all drank, laughed and talked. Late at night,

(03:59):
my fiance sister asked if we could go to another
room to talk. We were both wasted reminiscing about old
memories and she kissed me and I didn't stop it.
The worst part was that I've never felt anything like
that before. It wasn't butterflies. I literally felt like white
sparks behind my eyes in this deep feeling in my chest.

(04:21):
It felt like my heart skipped, or something like a
heart murmur. It hit me so hard that even now,
just thinking about it, I can feel that heart murmur.
I asked her today if she regretted what we did,
and she said not at all, and that she was
just shooting her shot one last time and would respect
my decision either way, and also admitted that if I
did choose her, it would likely destroy her bond with

(04:43):
her sister and also the family dynamics, but she said
it would be worth it for me. So yeah, I
know it's horrible, but I'm just thinking about so many
emotional moments my fiance's sister and I have shared, like
when she was there for me during my worst moments,
including sleeping in a hospital chair for three three straight
days after I had a major accident. She asked me

(05:03):
out back when I was overweight, shy, and had zero confidence.
I only started dating my fiance after a huge weight
loss transformation, which took almost a year. But her sister
never cared about any of that physical stuff. She's always
been super loyal and that kiss I can't lie. I've
never felt like that ever in my life. Would it

(05:24):
be wrong to end the engagement. I'm not delusional about
the consequences. I feel sick and nauseous even thinking about
the fallout and the ruined family dynamics. But I would
never have even thought about entertaining this if my fiance
hadn't rejected my proposal last year. Ever since then, it's
always been at the back of my mind.

Speaker 4 (05:42):
Please and this and this and this. Please.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
I need something to throw, I need something to break.

Speaker 4 (05:50):
Come in.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
Number one, you already have your answer, and to be honest,
your fiance deserves better. It's not like you would never
see her sister again if you stay with your fiance,
which would likely turn into an affair or later. I
don't have to tell you how effed up all this is,
but at least be kind enough to let your fiance
go to heal from this and find someone that feels
sparks while kissing her. Also, be ready for a massive

(06:11):
backlash for both of you from family and friends. Comment
to you and her sister are horrible people, so in
that way, you're perfect for each other. Also, have the
guts to own what you're doing and what you're about
to do instead of trying to blame your fiance for
your disgusting behavior. Well, if my fiance had turned up
me marriage proposal the first time, I wouldn't be cheating
on her with her sister.

Speaker 4 (06:32):
You would have done it anyway. And the thing is
you said that like I've always had this connection with her.
You would have done it anyway.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
And you wouldn't be about to tear her family apart
by leaving her for her sister.

Speaker 6 (06:43):
It's all her fault.

Speaker 3 (06:45):
Clearly, your fiance was right to tell you no the
first time. Her mistake was saying yes when you asked again.
And there's an update from two days after.

Speaker 4 (06:52):
Oh boy, I hope. I'lle you read all those comments
and was like, wow, I'm a really bad person. I
guess I should break up with my poor fiance.

Speaker 3 (07:00):
So I'm only posting this update because a lot of
people were asking for an update. This will be my
final update. So yeah, sadly, I don't have a great update.
I broke up with my fiance yesterday.

Speaker 4 (07:12):
Yeah, you misunderstand that great news.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
And yeah, she was expectedly shocked and sort of panicking.
I felt horrible seeing her cry like that and seeing
that reaction, and she kept asking why, and I told
her that I just don't think we're meant to be
together and that she deserves someone far better than me.
She was kind of wailing in stuff, and it broke
my heart. Obviously, both our families are shocked, especially because

(07:37):
we just had Thanksgiving and they asked a lot of
questions about the wedding and our future plans and even
baby names.

Speaker 4 (07:43):
So yeah, everyone's pretty shocked.

Speaker 3 (07:45):
I didn't really want it becoming this big a drama,
but it sadly has become a huge drama and everyone
is speculating what happened. I met my fiance's sister last
night for dinner and we both realized the gravity of
the situation. We spoke at length and with and I
told we should probably take some space and take it slow,
maybe wait a few months.

Speaker 5 (08:05):
Oh what are you?

Speaker 4 (08:06):
Are you insane?

Speaker 5 (08:07):
Never insane?

Speaker 3 (08:08):
Oh my god, No, this is a guy. Send you,
this guy to the sun, directly into the sun.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
You know what.

Speaker 3 (08:15):
No, this is black hole, black hole spaghetti. James Gandolfini's
spectral pigs in the labyrinth are going to devour you.
And that is a deep cut. For those who have
been here, you will know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 4 (08:28):
Wow, you just kept getting worse. You just kept getting worse.

Speaker 1 (08:31):
Oh my god, I think that.

Speaker 4 (08:33):
Your fiance is gonna put two and two together. When
in a couple of months you guys start seeing each other.
You don't think she's gonna say, oh well what in
my my relationship of eleven years.

Speaker 3 (08:43):
And no, fifteen, This is a cautionary tale.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
Dating since you were ten years old, is you know what?
Statistically not always the best.

Speaker 3 (08:51):
And I know there's some exceptions to the rule out
there that work out.

Speaker 4 (08:54):
But my god, they started dating when they were fifteen.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
No, they started dating fifteen years ago.

Speaker 5 (08:59):
No, they they've been dating for fifteen years. I've known
each other for like seventeen.

Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yes, they're twenty five.

Speaker 4 (09:04):
They started dating in third grade years now.

Speaker 5 (09:07):
Well, first the first post. There was an update after
that that was seventeen months later.

Speaker 4 (09:12):
Just yeah, it's I think there's okay.

Speaker 3 (09:16):
She said we should probably take some space and take
it slow, maybe wait a few months, and she said
she was willing to wait however long. She recommended that
we can both move to a different state. We both
were remote, so that works in our favor, and we
can choose any state we like. I asked her many
times if she was sure and if she had any

(09:37):
regrets after seeing her sister's reaction, and she said she
loves her sister, No she doesn't, and that the situation
obviously sucks, but that love is love, and that the
love we have and the deep connection we have is
very rare, and that now that she had it, she
would never let it go ever until she passed away.

Speaker 4 (09:53):
You guys are crazy people. You're crazy people. You're you're
crazy people.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
I got those heart flutter feelings again, and this time
I was sober, and we didn't even kiss.

Speaker 4 (10:03):
It was just her words. And that's the end of
that story.

Speaker 1 (10:06):
So I feel about that, and that's the end of
this story. We're gonna go on to the next one.

Speaker 4 (10:11):
I found my boyfriend's secret texts and I don't like
what I saw.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
Ooh, we don't like secrets like that.

Speaker 4 (10:17):
Me twenty one year old female, and my boyfriend, a
twenty six year old male, recently moved in together. We
have been together for over a year now and I
am deeply in love with him. We've had our share
of issues, but I have seen him grow into someone
I could see spending the rest of my life with.
By the way, this comes from Grace's forehead zero one
and if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay storytime subreed at.

Speaker 1 (10:36):
Ii'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and I'm Vincent, and we're here to.

Speaker 4 (10:39):
Give good advice. Goofley. But we don't have all the answers.
We only know what we do, so let us know
what you would do in the comments. Recently, I have
been feeling very insecure due to my own issues, and
absent mindedly scrolled through some texts on his computer. I
have never done anything like this before, and I know
it was wrong. I did not read anything until I
came across a message from girl with a name very

(11:01):
similar to one of his exes. I opened the messages
with worry because he has told me many times that
he was no longer in contact with his ex I
was horrified by what I found. For context, my boyfriend
and I broke up in January of twenty twenty two.
We were both in bad places mentally and trying to
manage a long distance relationship. In a heated fight, he

(11:22):
ended things very coldly with me over the phone. I
was devastated. We picked up the pieces of our love
for the next week and vowed to find a way
to make things work. However, I am still haunted by
that time. My self esteem will probably never be the
same after hearing him speak to me with so much
bitterness and hate. About a month after this breakup, I
flew home for a few days and we got into

(11:43):
another fight. I thought this fight was strange because he
seemed to be overreacting much more than usual. He was
upset that I didn't answer him all evening, even though
I was with my family, whom I had not seen
for months. This fight became extreme, and he said goodbye
to me over text and did not speak to me
for the rest of my t I thought he was
going to end things with me again, but he never did.

Speaker 1 (12:04):
I like the again again, that's great.

Speaker 4 (12:06):
She's like, well, I thought he was good end things
because it was really bad, but he didn't, So I
guess we're okay.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
We stayed strong when we broke up.

Speaker 4 (12:14):
Yeah, when I got back, we made up, and I
contributed this fight to growing pains as we were both
trying to learn how to reevaluate our relationship after the breakup.

Speaker 1 (12:23):
Oh pee, uh, you're you're victimizing yourself. You're like, I'm
the problem here. Yeah, I'll take all accountability, even for you.
Bub You're like, ugh, I'll take it on. It's all
It's all me, not you.

Speaker 4 (12:35):
This is where the texts come into play. The girl
he was talking to was not his ex, just someone
with a similar name.

Speaker 1 (12:41):
Is that true though, Either he's really bad at just
like hiding things, yeah, and he can't even come up
with a better name for his ex to hide from you,
or it's genuinely just another person with that name who's
just eerily similar regardless of his name.

Speaker 4 (12:56):
Yeah, it doesn't really matter either way.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
He's still cheating at the end of the day bad.

Speaker 4 (13:01):
He has never mentioned her to me for whatever reason.
I cannot see any of her replies and can only
see what he said to her. But to summarize, I
think he was trying to or did hook up with her.
Every single text was another blow to my perception of him.
He started off by telling the girl that his exit
blocked her number on his phone and that he was sorry.
Things continue to escalate from there, and he asked her

(13:22):
if she and her hot roommate would want to have
a mono claw. He went into great detail about how
me and him were basically on a break and that
he was waiting until after Valentine's stayed officially end things
with me because she wanted his Valentine's Day gift that
he knew I had bought for him. He's texting another girl.
I haven't broken up with my girlfriend officially because I

(13:43):
really want that gift. Yes, I can't break up yet
because I, Oh, she got me this really sick gift
she got me.

Speaker 5 (13:50):
Yeah, and that before I break up with her.

Speaker 4 (13:53):
Yeah, you get it, you understand.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
Oh, he's reading this and like I think, I think
this is just all like fun and games. He still
loves me right.

Speaker 4 (14:00):
Oh boy o, p oh boy. He talked about wanting
to have spicy sleet with someone with no emotional attachment.
He also said he had been a salute this year.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
Oh pe, what are you dueling?

Speaker 4 (14:10):
Which raised alarms in my head since this was February
and I thought he had been loyal to me even
through the several days we had been separated in January.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
That's his New Year's resolution, Opie, Come on, you didn't
get the memo again.

Speaker 4 (14:23):
The conversation was difficult to follow because I cannot see
any of her replies. At one point, he asked her
if she was there yet. This is the moment where
I understand that they may have hooked up. There was
other small details about him missing his crazy ex and
asking her to validate his ego. The main thing that
I do not understand is that all of this happened
in February while I was back home in South Dakota.

(14:46):
Although we were fighting, we were definitely not on a break.
The way he spoke about me in those texts has
absolutely shattered me. That whole month, he was telling me
that he loved me and was trying to work on
fixing our relationship, but in reality, he was b being
vile with another woman over text. Ever since I discovered this,
I have been trying to come up with any excuse

(15:06):
for him that I can. I cannot create a situation
in my mind where he did not cheat on me,
or at least did not try to. A month or
two after these texts were sent, he went to get
an STD test at the doctor's. I thought this was
odd because we had been dating for almost a year
at that point. I felt really bad about it, and
he told me that I should not be taking it
personally because he was just looking after his health and

(15:26):
should have gotten tested before we started dating. Either way,
I thought it was strange that he was so insistent
on it when, to my knowledge, the only person he
had been spicily active with for almost a year was me.
I honestly do not know what to do with this information.
The text span only one day from back in February.
Since then, I moved to live in his home city

(15:46):
to be closer to him and for more work opportunities.
We moved in together about a month ago, and things
have been really amazing. He went back to school, so
our schedules have been hard, but the time I do
spend with him feels incredible. Basically, our relationship has been
good and strong. However, back in February, when this was
apparently happening, he was begging me to leave the area
I really loved living in to come stay with him.

(16:09):
I was terrified to take the sleep and was hesitant. Eventually,
I realized that my life was not going to improve
in the tiny town I was living in, and I agreed.
Now I am so uncomfortable around him. I remember Valentine's
Day and the gifts I got him. I remember being
on the phone within that week and being so excited
to come see him. Obviously, something happened to change his

(16:29):
mind after he sent those texts. He never broke up
with me after Valentine's Day like he said he would.
I want to confront him about the text, but I'm torn.
I know he will be extremely upset and hurt that
I went on his computer and stooped, Why are we
caring about his feelings literally at all?

Speaker 5 (16:46):
You should be just as upset.

Speaker 4 (16:48):
Why are we caring about them at all?

Speaker 1 (16:50):
He where is your brain? Where is your brain? The
entire time? Where is your brain? I'm making She's like
I'm making reasonings for him that it's yeah, that may
make sense. You can yeah for your health, you want
to go get checked up? That makes sense. I saw
all the proof that I saw, but I'm so happy
when I'm with you.

Speaker 4 (17:08):
I know I should not have done what I did,
and I honestly wish I had never seen those texts.
But now when I lie next to him at night,
I think about everything he said about me to that girl.
He lied about us being on a break and the
way he spoke to her felt like a different person.
My boyfriend has always been very supportive of women, but
the person I saw and those messages felt like someone
I would run from. I never imagine him saying he

(17:30):
wanted a random hole to f I truly do not
know what I would do if I confronted him and
he confessed to cheating on me. Why do you need
him to confess you already know he cheated on you.
Part of me thinks I need a break up with him.
At the same time, our relationship has grown and I
have seen him go to therapy and get sober and
leave a toxic living situation behind.

Speaker 1 (17:49):
I genuinely am speechless with how how op he is
handling things in this situation, Opie, you gotta spine. Why
are we making hypotheticals for this guy?

Speaker 4 (17:59):
You know?

Speaker 1 (18:00):
Oh, he cheated on you, or at least attempted to
try and cheat on you. Disrespectful? You beat Yeah? What
are we doing?

Speaker 4 (18:06):
Why does only part of you want to leave? Get
all this? All of it? I do not know what
I would do if I found out he cheated one
six months ago?

Speaker 1 (18:13):
You did?

Speaker 4 (18:13):
You don't know what you mean?

Speaker 1 (18:15):
You did?

Speaker 4 (18:16):
You do know he did that? He did that? We
know that, we have we have. Also, we know he
physically cheated because he got SDG testing, So so she
cheated on you emotionally. And also, let's put two and
two together. Why would he get SDD tests.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
I need to stress. I need something that, I need
something to relieve my stress because this is stressing me out.

Speaker 4 (18:34):
But now I feel like I do not really know
the person I love the most in the world. If
I do not say anything, I do not know if
our relationship will ever be the same. If I do
bring it up, I do not know if it will
survive either. I am hoping that by posting this, someone
who has been in a similar situation will see it.
I genuinely have thought about marrying this man. Why, but
I am deeply disturbed by what I saw. Comment Was

(18:55):
he drinking during this time period when he cheated? Was
he drinking when he was breaking up cruelly with you?
Has he stopped drinking now? Opie says yes, he was
absolutely drinking when we broke up. I am not sure
about the cheating. He's been going to AA several nights
a week since we got back together in therapy. He
got a job and went back to school. I told
myself when I took him back that I would have
to leave him for good if nothing changed. But it did.

(19:17):
I'm so proud of him. So this is soul crushing.
Nothing changed. Oh please leave.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
Please, Opie? Please, you have you have a brain, please?
Why why are you? I know your brain is trying
to like, No, he's a good guy. He's doing all
these things for me. It doesn't negate the fact that
we don't know if he biscally probably did but emotionally
cheated on you. And you need to confront him and

(19:42):
leave this guy just so you get the Yeah, the
confrontation to be so you just get clarity. But you
saw the text you saw an entire text thread and
you're like, oh, I don't see any text for her.
They're deleted.

Speaker 4 (19:53):
I don't know if he's cheating on please.

Speaker 5 (19:57):
But that's the end of the story, and we got
another one coming right.

Speaker 4 (20:02):
I fell in love with my girlfriend fast, but broke
up even faster.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
Life comes at you fast.

Speaker 4 (20:07):
Hi, I'm in need of some support following my first
month long relationship with the girl. Some background. Up until
meeting her, I was a twenty eight year old dateless
vision stemming from a chronic lack of self confidence and embarrassment.
I am a very sensitive and anxious person, and I've
always wanted someone to love and cherish. She twenty six,
has been my next door neighbor on and off for
many years, but we've never spoken before. By the way,

(20:29):
this comes from deleted and if you want to submit
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime Separate.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and I'm Vincent, and we're here to.

Speaker 4 (20:37):
Give good advice goofley, but we don't have all the answers.
We only know what we'd do, So let us know
what you would do. In the comments, she invited me
outside for some drinks on her birthday, three days after
having been dumped by her boyfriend. I ended up going
inside her flat with a few of her friends near
the night's end, and we were rather wasted. As I
was leaving with the others, she asked me to stay
and we ended up kissing, and I woke up in

(20:58):
her bed the next morning. We talked for many hours
and had a good laugh. A few days later, she
posted a note through my door asking if I wanted
to go for a walk, and we did so the
next day. I'd been incredibly anxious up to this point
about what had happened. She mentioned she had a hangover blues.
I said I had too. I said I had to
be honest with her and told her I hadn't kissed
anyone since I was a teenager. She was shocked because

(21:20):
I didn't seem like that, and she was very non judgmental.
That night, she came to mine and we did a
zoom quiz with my friends. She stayed the night. We kissed,
and we said let's take it slow from there. We
were hanging out daily. I turned twenty nine. We were
talking all the time, we kissed, we held hands, we cuddled,
went on walks, sat in the sun, held each other

(21:40):
and made plans for the future. We shared our mental
health with each other and hands spicy sleep. She took
it so slow with me, made sure I was comfortable
and didn't pressure me. We got closer and she would
message how much she fancied me and that she was
really fond of me. I felt like the stars had aligned,
of all the times for me to meet someone and
lose my virginity. It was in lockdown. She's so beautiful

(22:03):
in every way, and we get along so well, laughing
at and with each other, mashing interests and both being creatives.
It felt so magical. She wondered how I was ever
her first, that I'm handsome and likable. The more attached
I got, the more anxious I became, and I was
desperate for it to continue. After a sleepless night at hers,
where I was panicking that I was going to ruin it,

(22:25):
I went back to my place and slipped into an
anxious mess. She messaged asking how I was, and I
asked her to come round. She asked what I was
worried about, and I said I was worried the anxiety
and insecurity. I was trying to overcome we're clouding the
real meat. I said she wasn't seeing my best side
and that I was worried I was going to push
her away. I told her I liked her for so

(22:46):
many reasons and really wanted us to work out. She
said she hadn't been her best either, that we'd rushed
into it, and that we'd been spending lots of time
together and probably needed to give each other space. She
said she thought I was great, but that we should
go back to day and dial things back. I felt
relieved after this, because she could have walked away, but
it seemed like she wanted to continue things, just at

(23:07):
a slower pace. However, following this discussion, her attraction to
me seemed to fade. We spent less time talking and
seeing each other, and when we did I was initiating everything.
I kept looking for validation by trying to get passionate
kisses out of her again, but it felt so one sided.
My anxiety and negative thoughts were through the roof, and
I was already hurting so much thinking I'd lost her.

(23:29):
I took her for a picnic, which I thought went great,
and we had fun. Towards the end, of the night.
She said she needed space, that she was being a
bit weird, and that we rushed into it so soon
after her previous boyfriend. She said we'd be back to
where we were at some point. I felt great, thinking
all I had to do was respect her space and
back off for a bit. I didn't hear from her

(23:49):
for five days. It's your first like relationship anything, it
seems yeah, you know, it feels like so, I don't know.
I remember like my first month life like dating.

Speaker 1 (24:01):
Experience, and I felt like a year, didn't it.

Speaker 4 (24:03):
Yeah, And then when it ended, I was like heartbroken.
I was oh my god.

Speaker 1 (24:07):
And then you look back at it, you're like, yeah,
that was nothing.

Speaker 4 (24:10):
I went on like that was absolutely nothing.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
It's called character development, and you go through it sometimes
and obviously you're experiencing it a lot later in life. Yeah.
I think this goes to show how you deal with
relationships and how your anxiety really affects you mentally is
one thing, but then how you see yourself and you
know what you want in a future partner and what
you don't want.

Speaker 4 (24:31):
We bumped into each other and had a strained and
awkward conversation where I weekly asked when we could hang
out next, and she did not seem interested. I left
it nine more days with no contact. My friend pushed
me to get on Tinder to build my confidence up,
and I entertained this idea without any actual intent. I
ended up seeing her on there with recent pictures. I

(24:52):
was heartbroken, devastated, and hurt beyond words. I decided I
had to talk to her, and the next day I
asked if we could talk. I said I felt like
I'd been left hanging and then I didn't fully understand
what giving space meant, and that I'd found it hard
having no contact with her. I told her I had
feelings for her. She said she doesn't want to be
in a relationship right now, that she needs space, and
that she'd get weird and unpleasant if she rushed into

(25:15):
one so soon after her breakup. She said she does
have feelings for me. I brought up Tinder and said
she was obviously entitled to be on there and that
we weren't in a relationship, but I was crushed knowing
she'd be with other men. She said she wanted the
option and to fulfill her high, spicy sleep drive without
getting attached to people. She said she really wants us
to be friends and just hang out and see where

(25:35):
we go from there, not promising anything or ruling us out.
I said I would not wait for her, as it's
unfair on both of us. She said we were really
exciting and had a great time, but had to put
the brakes on or I'd get hurt. We laughed about
the fun we had. I left, and I thanked her
for being honest and having that talk with me. Now
I'm a heartbroken mess. I was so excited about our
potential future together and all the things we would do.

(25:58):
She was my ideal partner, and i'd I don't think
that's just because she was my first. Everything about her
is amazing, and I feel like I've lost an absolute
gem of opportunity to develop and grow with someone. I
can't stop thinking about all the mistakes I made and
what I shouldn't have done or said.

Speaker 1 (26:12):
It's not much got playing that game.

Speaker 4 (26:13):
She just got a relationship.

Speaker 1 (26:15):
Yeah, it's that's it, honest truth, it was a rebound relationship.

Speaker 4 (26:19):
I keep holding on to that tiny threat of hope
that we can be more than friends. I dread having
to be friends with her while having these feelings. I
can't let go of. I'm terrified of how I'll feel
when I see her with another man, especially since we
lived next door to each other. I miss being close
and intimate with her so much, and I was so
happy with her. My mistakes that I become aware of

(26:39):
are that I was too needy, overbearing, overinvested, and too
open and honest about how insecure I was. I put
her on a pedestal, sacrificed too much at myself, and
needed her affection to validate me. I didn't give her
enough space, and I should have known I was a
rebound only three days after her ex ended things. Deep down,
I know we wouldn't have lasted. She's far more developed

(27:01):
than I am, has a much more interesting and busy life,
and is very spicy, experienced with needs I can't fulfill. Obit,
it's not about any of that. You're going to learn
all of those things. It's literally not about any of that.
It's just that she got out a relationship three days
before you, guys started dating.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
It's your first relationship. I feel like everyone in their
first relationship does a lot of these things. That's how
you experience it, that's how you know, like, oh, I'm
becoming overbearing or over That's when you start learning how
to communicate and talk to your partner, and they should
let you know that.

Speaker 4 (27:29):
There were parts of her I struggle to accept, such
as her mostly being friends with other men, which drove
my insecurity mad I just wish I was more like her,
or more like the person she would want to be.
I don't know what to do or how to get
over this. I'm such a late bloomer, and I'm scared
of having to get out there and find someone instead
of it just presenting itself to me. How could I
possibly get over the first woman I've been with who

(27:49):
was also the most beautiful, kind, honest, and fun person
I've known. I want her to stay in my life,
and I see so much value in at least being
her friend.

Speaker 1 (27:57):
No stop thinking that, no reason to give high school
Sophia and key on her.

Speaker 4 (28:01):
We're not gonna be friends with her, but it will
unlive me if I still have such strong feelings. I
don't know what to do. The whole experience was like
a movie or a book, too good to be true.
It was exciting and full of fun drama. We got
along so well, and now it's over. I don't know
how to cope, how to move on, or what my
next step should be.

Speaker 1 (28:19):
Don't look back. You can be cordial with her. You
do not have to be buddy buddy with her. I
know it sucks you're not being Jilli's. You gotta move on.

Speaker 4 (28:25):
Don't be besties though, don't be besties.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
You can be a mature person and not you know,
stop at her or she's your neighbor. You can just
try to not let it affect you as much, which
is easier than done. You see it all the time.
The best thing you can do, Jim, start working out.

Speaker 4 (28:40):
Go I don't know, like, just start like I through
a lot of parties. I did, Like I found hobbies
and stuff. Yeah, I made friends with people. I talk
to people and.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
That, you know, put yourself out there. I mean, I'm
not saying you should force yourself into relationships and be like, yeah,
I want a relationship, but I think, don't do that.
It's not It doesn't hurt to try and talk to
other people.

Speaker 4 (29:02):
Putting yourself out there. It sounds so simple. Literally going out,
throwing events, going to events is effective.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (29:09):
The more what I found, like, the more you just
get out in the world and put yourself out into
the universe, the more energy comes back to absolutely And
then Doris, you didn't even know where there are going
to open, and that's going to be so much more
exciting and so many more cool people.

Speaker 4 (29:22):
Yeah, but whole reason that you like had this whole
thing was because you said yes to come to a party.

Speaker 6 (29:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:27):
I think, like I said, you'll be okay again in
a matter of time. It could be one month, one week,
one year. How however, time when you are ready, you'll
look back at this like we look back at our
I'm pretty sure for Eve, for Vincent that one of
our first relationships or whatever that may be. You look
back at it, you're like, oh my god. In that moment,
I was so it was like the end of the world.
But now it's just like, you'll find someone who's going

(29:49):
to replace that category for her, But she'll a that partner,
whoever may be, is going to look at you the
same way and put you on the even pedestal where
you look at each other and you're like, this is great.
And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go
on to the next one.

Speaker 2 (30:03):
My sister copied my wedding dress now the family is divided.

Speaker 4 (30:08):
Stop copying me.

Speaker 2 (30:09):
I twenty female have been planning my wedding to Michael
twenty one mail for the past three years.

Speaker 6 (30:14):
My dream wedding is.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
In October of this year, and my sister's wedding is
planned for the last day of September. Because she had
planned her wedding late, not many options are available for her.

Speaker 6 (30:24):
By the way, this.

Speaker 2 (30:24):
Comes from Jenna's stories and if you to submit your
own stories, go to the r slash Okay story time
sup Reddit And I'm Angie, I'm Sophia, and we're here
to give good advice goofully, but we don't have all
the answers. We just know what we would do in
these situations. So let us know what you would do
it down below. And Ohpi says she couldn't find a
nice dress due to her tight budget and the fact
that she was five months pregnant with a kind of

(30:45):
visible bump wasn't helping. I have planned my wedding to
my childhood best friends since we were kids. Michael and
I grew up together here due to our parents being
close friends. I have booked my venue, catering, dress, florists, etc.
Way way before my had announced her marriage slash pregnancy.
Keep in mind she has only started her wedding planning
at the start of August, which meant it was kind

(31:07):
of her own fault for not being prepared. Her boyfriend
now fiance twenty six male, proposed to her in early
February this year. One day, my sister texted me asking
to see my dress. Out of pure curiosity, I harmlessly
sent her a photo of the dress I had already
purchased it a year in advance. The next day, my
sister announced to my whole family while I was present,

(31:28):
that she had found a wedding dress. I was over
the moon for her and asked to see it. Here
it is, she said, as she pulled out a dress.
I was shocked, to say the least, when she pulled
out an exact copy of my dress. When I asked
her why it was the same dress as mine, she
replied with I just liked your dress so much that

(31:50):
I thought i'd reach out to the stylist. I mean,
you looked nice, but it fits my.

Speaker 6 (31:54):
Belly more than you.

Speaker 2 (31:56):
At this, my whole family got mad, but they didn't
say anything. As of today, September twentieth, twenty twenty three.
I have still planned to wear my dress, and now
my family has cut my sister off and I have
told her that she is not welcome to come to
my wedding, and she called me a selfish witch who
can't handle that she looks better. I honestly didn't mind

(32:16):
the fact that she stole my dress, but I hated
how she even tried to cover it up and try
to trip me into accepting it. I do not feel
sorry for her, because she had a chance to redeem
her loyalty, but she chose not to. I asked her
to return the dress and buy a new one on
September fifteenth. She refused the idea immediately, so now no
one in the family wants to attend her wedding, and

(32:37):
her husband's side of the family have been sending me dms,
calling me selfish, stupid, in other words, that I cannot
stay on this platform for ruining her wedding.

Speaker 6 (32:46):
So am id a whole and we have some comments,
But what would you say?

Speaker 4 (32:51):
You just text them all back. I know you are,
but what am I? Yeah? There you go, yeah, and
you can even automate it. So every time they text
you just goes I know every one of mine. What
is that even name? And then I don't even.

Speaker 6 (33:03):
I just keep saying that dad, right. We do have
some comments coming.

Speaker 2 (33:11):
Number one says, not the a hole, block them and
focus on your wedding, wear your dress and have fun
on the day, and make sure security does not let
her in on the day.

Speaker 6 (33:20):
Just ignore her going forward.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
She has more drama to bring in futures, so better
to stay away from her. Comment Number two says, I'm
wondering what other messed up things before stealing the wedding
dress designed that sister has done that caused the rest
of Opie's family to go nuke with both disowning and
not attending her wedding. I feel like there's way more
to what the sister did, specifically to several family members,

(33:43):
to make what she did to Opee the very last straw.
I was driving home from work yesterday when I got
a message from my mom asking me to come home.
The message wasn't past aggressive and was innocent in its nature,
so I decided to take the extra twenty minute drive
since I could use some time to clear my head.
My fiance was waiting at my parents' house for me,
and he genuinely looked pissed and had a hint of

(34:05):
bright red, from which I could make out that he
had been crying for a while. My mom, dad, sister,
and sister's fiance were all there waiting for me. As
soon as I walked in, my mother said something along
the lines of, oh gosh, I can't anymore. How could
I raise a kid like this? Although she intended to
whisper it under her breath, that came out loud enough
so everyone heard. Next was my fiance. He started crying

(34:28):
and asked, in a shaky tone, how could you Jenna?

Speaker 6 (34:32):
What happened?

Speaker 4 (34:33):
Jenna? Donna? What did you do? Jenna?

Speaker 6 (34:35):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (34:37):
I was a bit surprised because I didn't really know
what he meant.

Speaker 6 (34:40):
What, babe, what did I do?

Speaker 2 (34:41):
He cut me off before I could finish even saying that. Now,
in an angry tone, he screamed.

Speaker 6 (34:48):
How could you cheat on me?

Speaker 4 (34:50):
You've lie?

Speaker 6 (34:51):
Witch?

Speaker 4 (34:52):
Well Linkby. We should do a little bit of I
don't know, research, Yeah, a little bit of fact check,
come back.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
Checking, you know, check our sources. Perhaps, do we have
a reliable source or do we have ops?

Speaker 6 (35:07):
Sister?

Speaker 4 (35:08):
Yeah, cuz if it's Op's sister.

Speaker 2 (35:12):
Yeah, dumb, you're really dumb, and maybe we shouldn't get
married because how dumb you are, because you're dumb. By now,
my mom was bawling while my dad put his arm
around her shoulder. That's when my sister finally spoke. Of course,
you accidentally sent me the message a while back when
you were wasted.

Speaker 6 (35:30):
I didn't really want to.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
Show him, but now that you're getting married, I have to.
I started sobbing at the sound of that. I would
never cheat on my fiance. I love him dearly. As
I tried to protest, I was cut off. Each word
I said fell on deaf ears. My fiance left that
same day packing his bags, and my mother punted me out.

Speaker 6 (35:51):
They all thought I was a cheater.

Speaker 4 (35:53):
Okay, people in this family are now I'm like, did
the sister do anything before this? Yeah?

Speaker 6 (35:58):
It seems like.

Speaker 4 (35:59):
Everyone's very quick to be like, oh, that's it, strike
your out.

Speaker 6 (36:03):
Right right bags. That's when it sounds like this.

Speaker 4 (36:07):
Sounds like the type of like plot. Do you know
verticals on TikTok?

Speaker 6 (36:11):
I do not.

Speaker 4 (36:12):
Okay, So basically, verticals are short stories that are filmed
specifically to me vertical, and they're usually like very dramatic,
kind of like K drama s. Some of them are
all like businessman you're talking about. We've probably seen some

(36:33):
of them. I have friends who like record them and stuff,
and a lot of people will go to China to
like actives, We'll go to China record them. But anyway,
this is what that feels like.

Speaker 6 (36:41):
Yeah, it's like, oh, you know, the immediate.

Speaker 4 (36:47):
Problem and then I get out and then immediately they
find out like I wasn't able to say words.

Speaker 2 (36:52):
Right, nothing realistic at all, just everything just on an impulse.

Speaker 4 (36:58):
Yeah, and like your family just like acts like I
almost sorry. Your fiance, who presumably you told about your sister, yeah,
just was like I'm not even gonna question this, right,
that's it.

Speaker 6 (37:11):
Right, this is crazy.

Speaker 2 (37:13):
My fiance was sweet enough to let me keep the
apartment that we bought together.

Speaker 4 (37:17):
Your package, sorry, your fiance was sweet enough. Your fiance
that left without actually hearing you out.

Speaker 6 (37:21):
Was, Yeah, who's sweet enough?

Speaker 2 (37:23):
This morning I got a text from a dummy number
saying you should have just let me be happy with
my dress. Now you pay for trying to ruin my
big day.

Speaker 6 (37:33):
This was my sister.

Speaker 2 (37:34):
She has devised a plan to turn everyone against me
because of a dress. Now I'm laying on the couch
sobbing because how could someone do something so cruel over
a dress. I know that I shouldn't have made my
family unattend her wedding, but did she really have to
ruin my whole life? I really don't know what to do.
I have a stable job, but everyone from my family

(37:56):
has cut me off, except for my mother. I would
appreciate suggestions on how to prove that I'm not lying.
And that's the end of bad story.

Speaker 4 (38:03):
Hey, it's Carly, your favorite Axelottel host. Here.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
We're going to get back to the stories, but here's
three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 4 (38:12):
I refuse to spend Christmas with my parents, and my
father completely lost it.

Speaker 6 (38:17):
Christmas is canceled. It's your fault.

Speaker 4 (38:21):
Okay, so this may not seem like a big thing,
but it kind of is for me. Every year I
dread having to go to my parents' house for the holidays.
It's always stressful. My dad acts like a butt, yells
at my kids for being ever so slightly noisy because
their kids and they're playing with their cousins. He is
also micromanaging everything right down to telling who can start

(38:44):
first with putting their plate together at the Buffey line,
and who sits where at the table. By the way,
this comes from Owlish Delight seven two five to one two.
And if you want to spend your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay, storytime suppared it. I'm Sophia,
I'm Angie, and we're here to give good advice. Gooofley,
but we don't have all the answers. We only know
what we'd do, So let us know what you would
do in the comments, and Op says let's not forget

(39:06):
the inevitable biased comments, political comments, etc. All while he
knows my stance on things, he brings crap up all
the time to get a reaction out of me. Plus
my brother is a pain in the butt. It just sucks.
My husband hates going over there, and so do my kids.
None of us ever have a good time. So when

(39:27):
my mom sent the Christmas invitation Facebook messenger message, I
finally worked up the courage to say, we have other
plans for Christmas, but thank you for the invitation. I'm
all nervous now. I just know a phone call is
coming eventually because my dad is going to be all,
weren't you guys coming to Christmas? But I'm glad I

(39:47):
at least got the decline out of the way. It
was really hard to do, guys, but I did it.

Speaker 6 (39:53):
Whew.

Speaker 4 (39:54):
And there are some comments. Comment one says gay for progress.
I hope your holidays are peace full and joyful. Oh
p says I cannot wait to spend the day with
my husband and kids and resting in front of the
TV watching Lord of the Rings extended edition and eat
yummy food, no yelling, no stress. Comment to says, when
your mother reaches out to you to guilt you into coming,

(40:16):
remember this she is the enabler and has chosen to
support her husband's actions. Your dad will blow things up.
Mom will help and say just keep the peace, FYI,
it is her piece, not yours. And again, she chose
to do this, not you, So stick to your choice
and enjoy. It took me years to disconnect myself from
the guilt of going no contact sixteen years ago. Lots

(40:39):
of therapy and good books helped. My wife and I
played the do something on our own slash keep them
happy game for a number of years. They guilted us
when we did our first Christmas without them, try to
use our own kids against us with massive presents. It
finally ended when we went no contact completely, sixteen wonderful,
peaceful years of never we're dealing with them at all.

(41:01):
Do yourself a favor Christmas Eve. Turn off all social media,
all phones, everything, and don't turn them on until the
day after Christmas so you can enjoy time with your
spouse and children after Christmas. Therapy would be a good idea. Plus.
The book The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van
der Kork. It teaches you about the trauma you went through,
how it impacts you, and how to deal with it

(41:23):
so you no longer feel the guilt. As my therapist said,
you cannot change them, but you can change how you
react to that. So I did, and now I am
at peace. May you find the same piece and comment three,
Well done. That first trigger is incredibly hard to do.
From now on, your default position is that you're not
going we decided to do something else is perfectly good enough.

(41:47):
And if you get a persistent why, I just say,
make up your own reason and leave it at that.
But back to the beginning, Well done to you, and
there is an update. Let's get into it. Let's do
it right on schedule. My dad privately texts me with
the guilt trip. Here's how it goes. You're really towing

(42:07):
your mom and dad that you have other plans for Christmas.
Whoever you have plans with, You can't arrange to meet
them on another day, like the day after or the
day before, whoever you have plans with.

Speaker 6 (42:19):
Yeah, you can just hang.

Speaker 4 (42:20):
Out with your husband or your kids the day after, right, Like, no,
it's just me and the kids.

Speaker 2 (42:27):
Why can't I just hang out with you the day after?

Speaker 4 (42:30):
You really plan to deprive your mom and dad of
our daughter's attendance as well as that of our grandkids
on Christmas Day. It's bad enough that sister has left
us and gone to another state, but brother, who was
to trade his kids back and forth with his ex,
will not have those grandkids to share Christmas with us.
But now you pull the rug out from us? What

(42:52):
have we done to deserve this? After receiving those messages,
I laughed out loud at how ludicrous it is. I
haven't replied because I honestly can't think of a way
to respond that wouldn't launch us into a fight. I
just find it ridiculous how much he makes everything about him.
Mind you, I am thirty nine f and years old,

(43:13):
and my brother and sister are in their forties. But
I guess everything we do we're doing it to him.
When do we get to start living our lives as
adults with our own choices? According to him.

Speaker 2 (43:25):
A s mh, it's just like blah blah blah, Like,
come on, parents, you can't blame the things that you're
complaining about on me. Like there's a lot of stuff
with these other siblings involved, and like you're clearly very
upset about those and now you're just using that to
as leverage to be more upset with me.

Speaker 6 (43:46):
Like it just doesn't make sense at all.

Speaker 4 (43:48):
I don't know. Maybe if you were like fun to
be around, yeah, right, people would come for Christmas.

Speaker 2 (43:53):
Right, But clearly if I can just make a if
I could make one scheduling issue for you, then it's
like a huge problem.

Speaker 6 (44:01):
That's not someone I want to be around.

Speaker 4 (44:03):
No, sir, not at all. My husband and I both
shared in the ridiculousness of it all when he got
home from work yesterday, and I would be lying if
I didn't feel the guilt ship viscerally my stomach was
literally upset and I could barely eat my dinner. Even
though I know my dad is being self centered and manipulative,
it's hard to shake the years of guilt that have

(44:23):
been drilled into me. Anyway, I'm still debating on whether
I should answer at all. Meanwhile, in the group chat,
my mom is announced to the others in there that
they will be going to a winery for Christmas, since
it will just be the five of them, my parents,
my brother and his wife, and his wife's adult son
from another marriage, and you know what, good for them.
I hope they have fun at the winery. I'm going

(44:45):
to enjoy spending time with my immediate family at home
in comfort.

Speaker 6 (44:49):
And that's the end of the story.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
My sister brought her affair to my house, then blamed
me for not forgiving her go to your own house.
About two years ago, my sister came to my apartment
going through the beginning of her divorce, something in which
I was not aware of. We are not terribly close,
like text a couple times a year and see each
other at holidays, kind of not close. I found it
odd that she was coming to see me at all,

(45:13):
given that she lived eight hours away by car and
normally stays with our mom nearby by the way.

Speaker 6 (45:18):
This comes from an FRTSK And if.

Speaker 2 (45:21):
You want to submit your own stories, go to the
r slash okay storytime and sub reddit. And I'm Angie,
I'm Sophia, and we're here to give good advice goofuy.

Speaker 6 (45:28):
But we don't have all the answers.

Speaker 2 (45:29):
We just know what we would do in these situations,
So let us know what you would do in the comments.
And Opie says she wouldn't give me times, She wouldn't
confirm if she was sleeping at my place, and wouldn't
say why she was coming, just that we were going
to a local brewery. An hour or two before she arrived,
she asked if she could bring a friend along. I
said yes, but made clear that I wasn't going to
have this person sleep over, as it was a work

(45:52):
night and they were a stranger to me. When she
and this guy arrived, they only brought one vehicle, but
still wouldn't say for sure whether my sister was staying
over or not. The guy was weird and annoying, but
I wanted to see my sister, so I entertained him
while she spent the next hour in my bathroom getting ready.
We left for the brewery, and shortly after arriving, she
asked us both to leave the table and go somewhere

(46:12):
else so she could talk to her friend. My wife
and I found this incredibly odd and rude, but acquiesced
when we finally asked if we could return. We tried
to get more information as to why things were so weird,
and all she would admit was that she was upset
with her husband for going through her phone and finding something.
I asked point blank if she was cheating, and she

(46:32):
told me no. The guy at this point was drinking
adult soda after adult soda, and only about an hour
and a half after getting there, the brewery was closing.
We drove them back to our apartment and told them
we needed to get to bed soon, as I worked
early in the morning. The guy was in no position
to drive, but after some hemming and hwing, they decided
to have her drive them both back to his place

(46:53):
a few hours away.

Speaker 6 (46:55):
I would find out.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
A few weeks later that not only was she certainly
cheating on her husband, whom I adored, but that guy
she brought was in fact the other man I think
of a marriage as a very important thing and have
always made it clear that I hate being lied to.
Since then, I simply have not spoken to her. I
don't drag the rest of my family into it. I
don't say it's her or me at events. I don't

(47:18):
snap at her or pretend she isn't there. She gets
short answers only and a flat effect. I've made it
clear to her and everyone else in the family that
what I want is a real apology. We never got
along as children, and our parents even admit that they
let her be pretty awful to me growing up. She
took advantage of me pretty frequently and was usually just
outright mean. At one point, I had to start taking

(47:40):
the bus to school rather than have her driving because
I couldn't stand the torment in the car on the
way In Wow. Yesterday, as our family gathering loomed, she
reached out and said she was sorry, quote if you
feel I involved you in something you didn't want to
be involved in. But in the same breath, she said
that she was hurt that I didn't try to talk
to her about what was going on that day. I'm

(48:01):
so sorry if you were involved in this situation. But like, also,
that was insane that you didn't want to talk to me.

Speaker 4 (48:08):
About this situation. Yeah, like this is really really so rudebus,
Like I'm not trying to involve you, but like, why
whyn't you get involved?

Speaker 6 (48:15):
Yeah? Hurt full hello.

Speaker 2 (48:18):
I sent a long and angry response detailing the day
more or less as above, and how it made me feel.
I made it clear that I did try to talk
to her and that I wasn't happy with her apology.
I felt after everything we'd been through, I was owed
a real one, not one blaming me for how I
responded to her actions. I asked her not to respond
because I wanted to do this face to face. She refused,

(48:40):
insulted me, and so that she didn't want to do
that in front of our mom or nieces and nephews.
So today I treated her just as I have.

Speaker 6 (48:47):
The last two years.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
She ended up leaving early, and my mom and other
sister are upset that I won't just forgive her. My
wife has my back one hundred percent in this, but
I just want to make sure that I'm not forgetting
to take my crazy bills, as I feel like I
am not asking for anything unreasonable or behaving unreasonably as
a result.

Speaker 6 (49:05):
So am I the A hole?

Speaker 2 (49:07):
And we do have an edit for clarity. They are
fully divorced and have been for a year and a half.
Oh interesting, he knew about the cheating by the time
she arrived at my place. That was the something on
her phone that she was upset with him for going through.
My mom and sister know the truth of everything, but
want me to be nice because my mom doesn't like

(49:29):
to see us fighting. And we do have some comments.
But what are your thoughts? It's not the A hole.

Speaker 6 (49:34):
Yeah, when we're comparing.

Speaker 4 (49:35):
You to your sister who cheated and lied to everyone, yeah,
it's pretty pretty obvious.

Speaker 2 (49:44):
Yeah, she's not like willing to have a real conversation
with you.

Speaker 6 (49:47):
She's not.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
She's being very hypocritical in the things that she's saying,
or at least contradictory in everything that she's saying to you.
It's just like you're she she's being a little cuckoo
over here. You're definitely out the cuckoo one. Yeah, agreed,
but we do have some comments coming. Number one says,
not the A hole. She knew what your boundaries were
and willingly violated them. You aren't even asking for much,

(50:11):
just a simple, genuine apology, and she can't even do that.
Just because you think your family hasn't picked a side
doesn't mean they haven't. They've most likely been speaking about
this behind your back from the very beginning and is
now starting to get vocal about it to your face
and showing whose side they're truly on. Ultimately, this is
for you to decide. Do you want a person like
your sister and all her qualities that you described around

(50:32):
you and your family. She's made it pretty clear that
she neither likes you nor does she respect you. But yeah,
I would agree with that comment.

Speaker 4 (50:40):
Yeah, I mean, there's really just not much you can
do to make your I feel like, I don't know,
to make your family see reason if this is how
they're reacting to your sister, try to involve you in,
like this a weird affair thing.

Speaker 6 (50:52):
Yeah yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (50:55):
This is so weird.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
Coming Number two says, so you got a non apology
followed by why it's actually your fault, followed by anger
and insults when these accountability avoidance tactics of an absent
apology didn't meet the boundary that you set.

Speaker 6 (51:10):
Sounds like you grew.

Speaker 2 (51:11):
Up with this being an acceptable way to act. Sounds
like the rest of your family thinks this is an
acceptable way to act, right down to the affair providing
your sisters the one misbehaving and no one makes swaves
because that's what causes them. Actual discomfort, friends giving, your
in laws, or just a nice night with a well
made meal all sound.

Speaker 6 (51:30):
Like lower drama.

Speaker 2 (51:31):
Your mom and your other sister are fine with the dynamic.
Not holding your sister accountable has worked for them. You
growing a spine doesn't because the change makes them uncomfortable.
They cater to your sister's bad behavior and maybe experience
a bit less blowback. Sounds like a long term pattern.
Protect your piece. You won't change these people. I wouldn't

(51:51):
want more than low contact, though, no contact with that
particular sister. She sounds like a piece of work that
they all feel some need to cater to, and it
sounds really gross. Chronic lack of accountability has ugly consequences.
You don't need that drama disrupting the piece. And that's
the end of that story. Hey, it's Angie, your favorite
fake redhead host here, and we're going to get back

(52:15):
to the stories.

Speaker 4 (52:15):
But here's a three minute ad break from our sponsors.
I surprised my sister with a car for her birthday,
and she lost her mind in a good way. I
hope yesterday was my older sister's birthday. My sister, Nikki,
twenty three female, and I twenty one male, live in
a different state. The night before her birthday, I put
in a low ball bid on a two thousand and

(52:37):
nine Hundai Elantra. Se I had been looking since my
sister told me her Mini Man is really bad on petrol,
and when I drove it, the MPG was so bad,
I honestly thought there was a hole in the tank.
By the way, this comes from Toyota Man the sequel,
and if you want to smit your own stories, go
to the r slash. Okay, storytime suppared it. I'm Sophia,
I'm Angie, and we're here to give good advice. Gooflee,

(52:59):
but we don't have all the answer. We only know
what we'd do, So let us know what you would
do in the comments and Op says it's a twenty
nineteen Chrysler, and I warned her at the time not
to buy it because she would be spending a lot
of money on petrol one hundred percent of the time
she drove it rather than having her boyfriend at the
time take some of the kids in his car. For
the rare occasion she needed to transport the entire family

(53:20):
to one location. He insisted she'd get the van, and
she ignored me. On her birthday, I found out the
low ball bit I put in on IAA went through.
I told my mom about it, and she agreed to
pay half since it was a big gift and the
price was so low. I called my sister to let
her know the good news, and her reaction was not

(53:42):
what anyone expected. I explained that I already had parts
for the car and that it was going to need
some minor work. She didn't like that idea at all.
I explained that she would have to go pick it
up since it wasn't in town and I was thousands
of miles away, while she was only a few hours
from it.

Speaker 6 (53:59):
I even to.

Speaker 4 (54:00):
Cover the petrol it would cause to go pick it up.
She started yelling at me. With my mom on the phone.
She said her boyfriend thirty four mail, wasn't interested in helping.
I told her I didn't care what her boyfriend wanted,
and I said, I see him as less of a
man for refusing to come see me when I came
to town last time, and for refusing to give any
amount of commitment. I gave her a list of people

(54:21):
who were willing to help instead, and she continued to
freak out about how she didn't want to deal with it.
At that point, my mom and I decided she didn't
really deserve the car anymore with the way she was acting.
I started planning a trip up there to collect it myself.
For clarification. Her boyfriend won't fit comfortably in this car,
which is a complaint she has made. He doesn't fit

(54:43):
in her van either at the moment, so there isn't
really an argument to be mad about. I'm five to eleven,
he's six foot, and I fit perfectly fine in both
cars without any issues. How he doesn't fit What do
you mean he doesn't fit in the car?

Speaker 2 (54:57):
Is it like a teeny tiny Fiata something like?

Speaker 4 (55:00):
Well, she just said he doesn't fit in the van.

Speaker 6 (55:03):
But it's yeah, it's a whole van.

Speaker 4 (55:05):
It's a whole van. There's no way that this man
who is only six foot, yeah, doesn't fit into a van.

Speaker 6 (55:14):
That's like, what else are you supposed to fit in?
If not that?

Speaker 4 (55:17):
Yeah, Ni, my boyfriend is six to one and he
fits into the prias.

Speaker 2 (55:20):
Yeah, it works, it works, it works.

Speaker 4 (55:23):
He wants her to buy an SUV. Because of this,
she can't currently afford the petrol for her van. She
contacts me and my mom once a week asking for
money so she can pay for it.

Speaker 1 (55:33):
No.

Speaker 4 (55:33):
When people say, who are you to say what's best
for her, my answer is that I'm the one stuck
paying for it every week so my niece and nephew
can have a roof over their heads, and so she
can get to work thirty miles away in a van
that doesn't even get fifteen miles per gallon. People also
keep saying.

Speaker 6 (55:51):
The car isn't free.

Speaker 4 (55:52):
But it is free. It has already been paid for
by my mom and me. I already have the parts
for it, and her dad is settings to install them
for Others have said, you're not giving her a gift,
you're giving her work. Why not just buy her a broom,
which is such an idiotic comment it's hard to justify
responding to her dad is doing the repairs, not her.

(56:14):
I've also heard it's a beat up hold on, Diet,
you're just giving her problems. My own car is two
years older, as three hundred and forty thousand miles on it,
and is still going strong with minimal issues. And even
that is just damaged from an accident. Another argument is
that there are other costs associated, like what registration the

(56:36):
car was one hundred dollars, The tax is already paid,
and registration in her state is twenty four dollars at
the age of this car. The van she's driving now
is ten times that before even considering insurance and petrol costs. Yes,
she has to go out of her way to pick
it up, but it's a free car, and I offered
her money to pay for the petrol to go get it.

(56:56):
She'd asked me months earlier to find her a car,
and that's exactly what I did. The last car she
bought was based on her boyfriend's needs rather than what
she could afford. After he decided he didn't want her anymore,
he tried to take the van back since his name
was on the title and she couldn't change that without refinancing.
That van is expensive on petrol, insurance, registration, and maintenance,

(57:19):
and it keeps getting worse. In the update, she ended
up calling me to say she does want the car,
but she was worried about getting it repaired because her
boyfriend doesn't work on a foreign cars and refuse to
help with it. I told her again that her dad
was willing to fix it. She then said her boyfriend
wants to turn it into a race car, and I

(57:41):
have never face palmed so hard in my life.

Speaker 6 (57:44):
It's a van I'm gonna.

Speaker 4 (57:45):
Turn into a race car. We're added racing stripes on
the van. Yeah, he's gonna go so fast, he's gonna go.
We're taking roof off. It's gonna be It's gonna be
so freaking speedy.

Speaker 6 (58:00):
That is so stupid.

Speaker 4 (58:03):
Comment without truly knowing details like the inappropriate for this thread.
It sounds like she's in the type of relationship where
the boyfriend is a control freak, and in order to
protect the sanity of staying in that relationship, even if
declining your offer is in her best interests, she has
chosen her path in order to protect that relationship. The
resistance mentioning how her boyfriend doesn't want to be bothered,

(58:25):
as if helping his girlfriend in such a big way
is inconvenient. They're not wanting to have to deal with it.
The lashing out all fit.

Speaker 2 (58:33):
I just don't think that this niece should be dating
that man for small and I think, oh, he should
not be helping his sister.

Speaker 4 (58:41):
Well, this is his sister.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
Yeah, oh I see, okay, I heard nieces and nephews
mentioned earlier.

Speaker 4 (58:47):
He only wanted to help the nieces and nephews, which
is why he's giving his sister money.

Speaker 3 (58:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (58:52):
I mean I get that, that's fair. Yeah, pay for
other things.

Speaker 4 (58:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (58:56):
Not this. This is a mess.

Speaker 4 (58:57):
No, no, no, this is silly.

Speaker 6 (58:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (58:59):
And anytime she said, oh, well I need it. I
need the money for my car and be like, well,
I offered you a free car that was way better,
so right, she always looks for these men. At the moment,
he's telling her to get an SUV since he won't
fit in a car due to his weight or something
like that. My issue is when she bought the van,
I warned her that it was going to consume so
much fuel she would have difficulty paying for it and

(59:20):
all the other stuff she needed. Her boyfriend at the
time insisted since he refused to drive his car on
the rare occasion they needed his kids, her kids, my
other sister, and him to go somewhere together. I said
that was a one percent of the time circumstance, and
it would be cheaper to drive two cars on that
rare occasion than to drive a significantly less efficient vehicle

(59:43):
one hundred percent of the time. The case, he was
only co signing. He never made a payment on it.
He never paid for petrol and never paid for insurance,
nor did he make a payment on the car. He
refused to marry her that whole time, and she bought
a car based on what he wanted instead out of
what she needed. Chrysler ironically outlasted him. Now there's a

(01:00:05):
new guy in her life who refuses to even consider
marrying her, and she's talking about buying a car that
he would want rather than buying something she can afford
or something that works for a situation. We reached the
point where him not hurting her makes him a good guy,
and I'm not cool with the bar being set that low.
And that's the end of this story.

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My girlfriend REJECTED my proposal… then I kissed her sister! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2672

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My girlfriend REJECTED my proposal… then I kissed her sister! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2672