My husband wanted to name our baby AFTER his late father and I hate it! | Reddit Stories | EP2676 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Angie and this is Carly, your favorite
Okay Storytime hosts, and we've got some great stories coming up.
But before that, we have a quick two minute break
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Speaker 2 (00:11):
My husband wanted to name our baby after his late father,
and I hate it.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
Do you hate the name? Do you hate the father?

Speaker 2 (00:19):
My husband and I are expecting our first baby. We're
very excited, but it has been dampened by the obvious
gap in our family, my father in law, who passed
away two years ago. My husband is about to become
a father and his role model, his dad, is not here.
I've never referred to it as a gap. What do
you mean, like the gat? Like she said, the gap
in my family. It's usually like like a hole left

(00:42):
in our family. But it's just a gap. It's just
like a whoopsa interesting and it has been a really
intense few months as we prepare for this next chapter.
By the way, this comes from Mackhead And if you
want to smit your own stories, go to the r
slash Okay Storytime Separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Angie, and
we're here to give good advice school. But we don't
have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

(01:03):
so let us know what you would do in the comments,
and Opie says, I am thirty weeks a long and
we do not know what the baby's gender. We want
to find out when we meet our kid, which feels
special to both of us. But I also want to
have a few names ready to go so we're not
scrambling at the last minute. The issue is that my
husband is insistent that we name the baby after his dad.

(01:24):
This is a name father in law did not even like,
as he felt it was old fashioned and didn't suit him. Him.
Not liking his name was honestly one of the first
things I learned about him, and he was very vocal
about it. My husband will not budge. If it's a boy,
he wants to give him father in law's exact name, first, middle,
and obviously last. If it is a girl, he's open

(01:45):
to a feminized version, but it would be something awkward
because there really are no good feminized versions of father
in law's name. What do you think the name is?

Speaker 4 (01:53):
It's like, I don't know what's like an old I
keep picturing like Bartholomew.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
Yeah, yeah, the color like birth exactly.

Speaker 4 (02:05):
It's like really old fashioned and it's just like a
bunch of grunts, like.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
You want to feminize it. It's like he is also
not open to a similar name, like a shortened or
altered version. And to be honest selfishly, I do not
like father in law's name, and I also have my
own family members I would like to honor with this baby.
I am open to making father in law's first name
our baby's middle name, regardless of spicy sleep. But my

(02:33):
husband is not for him. It is a first name
or nothing. Well, let's do nothing. Yeah, right. He has
told me he will have a very hard time forgiving
me if I do not let him memorialize his dad
in this way. That sounds like a threat. Oh my god. Yeah,
I will never forgive you. Yeah, I will always remember this.
You're gonna I mean, you could have another kid.

Speaker 4 (02:55):
That's true, if you want to still use the name,
just have some more and see if it works out.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
Yeah. Yeah, well one of them could be named Ooga Booga. Yeah,
he has told me he will have a very hard
time forgiving me if I do not let him momorialize
his dad in this way. Part of me feels like
I should just give it, maybe on the condition that
I get full naming rights for a second child if
we have another. But another part of me is screaming, no,
I am growing this baby, and I feel like I

(03:20):
should have a say two, I think a baby name
is a two ys one no kind of situation. What
do you mean by that? You both have to agree
on the name and if one of you does like it,
then that's not the name and you gotta keep going. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (03:34):
Yeah, My mom always says that, like, the baby's name
actually doesn't matter that much, Like you stress about it
a lot, and then like you just pick one and
then it's just the name and then that's like the
only time you stressed about it. Yeah, But I do
also understand being like I just it's just the worst
name ever. It's so bad, and he is taking her

(03:54):
choice away about it and also like guilting her.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah. At the same time, I know he's grieving and
going through a lot emotionally. I'm trying to balance compassion
for his pain with my own boundaries. So would I
be the a hole if I held the line and
refuse to make father in law's first name my baby's
first name and edit. I'm not going to share the
actual name because I do not want to be easily identified.

(04:18):
Father in law felt his name gave the wrong impression
of him, and he considered it old fashioned and religious,
even though he was a staunch atheist. Thank Enoch, Cuthbert
or Jethrow, all names he jokingly said he would rather
have if I'm being honest. Lol, And we've got some
comments from ope, But what are your comments? Those are

(04:40):
some pretty crazy names, yeah, and those are better than
this name, right, So.

Speaker 4 (04:46):
I was thinking it could be religious too, Yeah, but
you know, and obviously it makes sense if he doesn't
like that, if he's an atheist.

Speaker 2 (04:52):
Yeah, so I'm gonna look up worst religious names while
you're having this thought.

Speaker 4 (04:56):
There you go, because now I'm thinking of like, I mean,
the first thought that came into mind, thinking of a
religious name would be like Moses or something, because there
are obviously, like a lot of religious names that are
like John or Matthew. Yeah, like things like that, but normal.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (05:12):
I'm gonna trust him though, that it's that Jethrow or
whatever that was is better than his name.

Speaker 3 (05:18):
There's must be some pretty crazy things.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Then let's see we got more kind of name is
that spurgeon? Oh that. I don't think this is true.
I don't think these are from the Bible. The worst
Bible names. Someone give me the worst Bible names. They're not.
I don't want to go on Facebook. Funny biblicals you
should know? Okay, okay, a Nani Kinna and I Shamua

(05:40):
ikabad Ikabad. Maybe his name is it could be that's
kind of fun. Abishagh, gomer rahab Hepsiba. I think these
are just like, yeah, those are just like different, different
style names. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (05:58):
A lot of those names sound like you'd probably not
be speaking English.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
If you had probably not. Yeah, yeah, but we got
some comments from a peet. Mother in law and father
in law divorced several years ago, so her stance is
that she'd rather not have any grand babies named after
him at all. She's pro middle name, but husband just
thinks she's being vengeful when she expresses that. I don't
think he's listening to anyone, and probably is because he
is so in that morning period that it feels a

(06:24):
lot closer to home. Yeah. Probably. We were on the
same page before I got pregnant. We had a silly
shared note where we'd jot down names we liked and
tried out different combos, but once I actually got pregnant
and made it through the first trimester, he started pushing
father in law's name more and more. And now we're
at a standstill. Mother in law and father in law divorced,
and she's outright told husband that she doesn't love the

(06:47):
idea of calling a grand baby her ex's name, and
reminded him that father in law hated the name. No siblings,
which probably is part of the driver, because father in
law's legacy totally falls on my husband. He always went
by his given name or derivatives of his given name,
which is kind of heartbreaking. He was astonished a few
years ago when I told him about some friends who

(07:08):
were changing their names in adulthood. He didn't realize that
was an option. If he was like that far into
his hatred of his name that he considered changing his
name entirely. Yeah, maybe don't name your child that name.

Speaker 4 (07:22):
Yeah, because if you really want to memorialize your father,
this is like a pretty ignorant way to do that.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
Yeah. Absolutely, Yes, He's been reminded by both his mom
and me his stances that regardless of whether father in
law liked it. It was his name and it was
the only name he was known by. So if we're
gonna honor him, we should do it directly and name
our baby completely after him.

Speaker 3 (07:45):
Didn't they just say that he went by other names?

Speaker 2 (07:48):
Yeah, he went by like like shortened versions of his name.
Why don't we just big one os yeah, clumb Ikey, yeah,
little Ikey. So it's not a great name. I understand
why father in law never liked it. It's not completely
unheard of, but it's very old fashioned and religious, which
he wasn't think Enoch I am because I'm open to

(08:11):
putting a memorial name as a middle name. Memorializing them
with the same letter or using a similar name doesn't
have to be same exact name or in the same
exact spot. I just want to be able to do something.
He won't even have the conversation with me. We had
a list of baby names before I got pregnant, which
included some tributes to both of our family members, his
dad's middle name, names with my grandmother's initials, et cetera.

(08:34):
Once I got through the first trimester, he started saying,
I actually think the baby should fully be named after
my dad. I thought we were working with the list
before then. He's usually not like this. I know he's
scared and creaming, and since father in law didn't believe
there was anything after, this just lights out. I know
my husband is trying to conjure him or feel him
in this big moment. Hopefully I'll be able to come

(08:56):
back with an update that baby E's been named something
less stolen an amish balor and more in keeping with
my punt. But father in law spirit fingers crossed, and
we've got an update twenty days later. What do you
think's gonna happen? I don't really know.

Speaker 4 (09:14):
I feel like what I think she should maybe should do,
is like leave it alone, maybe focus on other things
preparing for the baby that he can have more control over,
and see maybe if that like satisfies that that want,
because it feels like just some sort of want for control,
not some something like malicious control. Besides the fact that

(09:36):
he said that he wouldn't forgive her, but like it
doesn't sound like he's trying to be just generally controlling,
but it is a thing that comes down to some
sort of level of control. So maybe if something else,
you know, is up to him, maybe he'll forget about this.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
Yeah, I don't know. We start having him like, build
just a bunch of baby like beds. Yeah, you know,
yeah he can.

Speaker 4 (10:00):
If he wants a religious thing, he can make a
bed look like the boat from Oh I thought you
were to.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
Say, make a bed look like a cross. Oh God.
Maybe maybe he gets crucified every evening.

Speaker 4 (10:12):
Listen, if they're not gonna, if they're not supposed to
move around, yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
You just bottle them in a little cry. He's like, ah, yeah,
can't scratch himself. We're all good. We're good. Well, we've
got an update. Twenty days later, a few people suggested
that although waiting to find out the gender of our
baby is a wonderful idea, knowing might be more helpful
at this point because it might help my husband feel
like the baby is real, if that makes sense. Those

(10:38):
comments stuck with me, and that's ultimately what ended up happening.
I'm thrilled to report back that one will be welcoming
a son into our lives and home, and two that
shortly after we learned the gender, my husband turned to
me and said, hey, we can't name him father in
law's name. We've had a few really great talkins. Then

(10:58):
he said, yeah, he was looking at the what's it called,
like sonogram? Yeah, the sonogram. He was like, Oh, no,
that's real. That's gonna be like a real person. He's
gonna have to grow up with this. Ah, he's gonna
be called Io forever.

Speaker 4 (11:13):
His first grade class is gonna be next to a
bunch of Alyssa's and man, he's gonna be Icoba.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
Okay, yeah, we can change it. Yeah. I know it's
a thing right now for women to come online complain
about their husbands and then be like, no, he's great.
It's there when people rightfully drag them. But I can't
stress enough how much a departure the stubbornness was from
his norm. Again, he was grieving in the last few weeks.
We've talked about the mix of joy and intense sadness

(11:43):
he's felt since I got pregnant, how his role model
for fatherhood is gone, and how distressed he is that
his dad will never meet our kids. He felt like
by giving our baby his dad's name, he'd maybe make
the distance between life and passing a little shorter. He's
about to start grief counseling to help manage those complicated
feelings ahead of the birth. I'm glad we got there. Yeah.

(12:05):
Whoever suggested find out the gender of the baby, now, yeah, smart,
very smart smart, because said that baby and he said, yeah,
that's that's a human being.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
Yeah, I think I think that's very good.

Speaker 4 (12:16):
He's he focused more on a new person rather than
someone who has already lived their life exactly exactly.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
That's such a great point. This is no longer a
time for the person who's passed. But yeah, you know,
it's time for moving forward. Yes, but there is a
little bit left to this story. We do a few
names in mind from the baby list we built before
we even conceived. We've been trying out different combos, trying
to see what the baby reacts to when we address them.
The top contender shares the initial of my father in

(12:45):
law's first name with my grandmother's maide a name as
a middle name. Baby boy seems to be a big
fan of that one so far, and my mother in
law is thrilled that our grand baby won't get stuck
with her ex husband's much loathed name. Ellewell, thank you
all again for your kind words and affirmations. You weren't
only a sounding board, But he gave me really great
advice and my marriage is stronger today for it. I

(13:07):
can't thank you all enough. And comments common one he
should honor his dad by being a great father, not
with a name. Comment two says, grief does strange things.
My mom hated her dad once he passed, you couldn't
say a bad word against him. Common three says, so
Jebediah or Jericho. Common four says stuff like this always
annoys me so much. It could be Jebediah. It could

(13:29):
be because then he could go by Jeb Jeb. It's
that like crazy, eh, I'm Jason, But not great. The
kid is most likely already getting the dad's last name anyway,
Why would he also be getting the first name of
the dad's family too. Reply says great that it worked
out and quickly after discovering the baby as a boy,
could have gone way worse. And if it is a
baby girl and Opie's husband was still hell bent on

(13:52):
giving her a made up feminized version of father in
law's name. Eggs on bikes and op only gave Enoch
as an example, but for discussion sake, where would they
go with that name? Enokaika? Almost every version has to
change the ch because any letters after that except for

(14:13):
R will seem like A or sound enaka enoquina can
spell with an H or else people will guess oh
na China or ena China, an aquette, same age problem,
it would look like an auschette, like it's a French name. Well,
we don't have to worry about that problem. That is true,
cause not gonna be that name. That is true. I

(14:35):
do really want to know what the name was. So
do I just tell us? So Pe, you sorted everything out?
Just tell us, fine, But that's the end of that story.
And we've got another one coming right up. Yeah, we do.

Speaker 4 (14:49):
My husband dismissed me one too many times until I
finally snapped.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
Stop dismissing me. This was not a sudden decision to
want a divorce.

Speaker 4 (14:58):
I have been feeling increasingly isolated and minimized in my
marriage for a long time, and I've tried to address
it with my husband multiple times. I often feel like
I am treated as unreliable or irrational while others are
trusted without question. When I try to explain myself, provide context,
or point out inconsistencies, I am cut off.

Speaker 2 (15:17):
Because he quote doesn't want to argue. He's like, no, Dear,
be silent, dar No, just a woman. I don't want
to argue, Dear.

Speaker 4 (15:27):
This is a long day at work over time that
has made me feel small and stupid, like I constantly
have to defend my own reality. By the way, this
comes from reasonable resort for for one. And if you
want to submit your own stories, go to the r
slash Okay storytime, separate it. I'm Angie, I'm Sophia, and
we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't
have all the answers.

Speaker 3 (15:47):
We just know what we would do in these situations.

Speaker 4 (15:49):
So let us know what you do in the comments,
and OP says the immediate conflict involved a mutual friend
of ours and happened over a FaceTime call with screenshots attached.
This friend has ongoing relationship issues that come up almost weekly.
She repeatedly breaks up with her boyfriend when he does
not do what she wants, especially around marriage. While I
understand some of this is cultural since they are both

(16:10):
religious and of Arab descent, it does not change how
emotionally draining it is to be pulled into it over
and over again. That night, I had just come home
from work after a really bad day, including an interview
where I felt degraded by the manager even though I
did well, I wanted to FaceTime my husband for support. Instead,
I was added to a FaceTime with our mutual friend

(16:30):
and her boyfriend without being asked if I had the
capacity for that conversation. During the FaceTime, our mutual friend
kept leaving and rejoining the call. What so you're just
left there with this friend's boyfriend on this FaceTime car.

Speaker 2 (16:43):
You're both like stay here, like yeah, just like.

Speaker 4 (16:46):
One person is like walking to their car and like
you just hear like right, or you see like the
top half of someone's face and like here tapping doing
something else.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
Yeah, he's like, babe, I'm in the car. Friend. She
not talking right.

Speaker 3 (17:03):
The final time she rejoined, the tone became hostile.

Speaker 2 (17:07):
She's like, I can't keep leaving the call. It's not working.
They're worrying. Please tell me our Wi Fi isn't connected.
It's not my Fi Fi, it's your Wi Fi, she said.

Speaker 4 (17:19):
She blocked her boyfriend and the conversation escalated quickly.

Speaker 2 (17:23):
Wait, she blocked, are we not on the call with
her boyfriend?

Speaker 4 (17:26):
I also thought we were on We are we're on
our call with our mutual friend and her boyfriend?

Speaker 2 (17:31):
Oh are they? Unless there are they together?

Speaker 3 (17:35):
And then she blocked him while she's with him.

Speaker 4 (17:38):
I r L.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
She's like, no, you can't be on the FaceTime call, babe.

Speaker 4 (17:41):
No, like I put up a wall and blocked him
from being in this room.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
You're stealing all of my my servants right now. Yeah. Interesting.
Let's see.

Speaker 4 (17:52):
I was texting both of them at the same time,
trying to de escalate and clarify things, but neither was receptive.
At the same time, her boyfriend is on the FaceTime
call while texting his dad and family and relaying updates
to her about his dad's reaction to a potential wedding.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
What is going on? I can't even follow this. But
I don't even blame Opie.

Speaker 4 (18:12):
I think this is like, there's no other way to
describe it. It's just a confusing situation.

Speaker 2 (18:17):
Just like she's like, it's confusing to read because I
didn't know what was happening. Yeah, because right now I
can't figure out if they were all on the call,
right And then the friend is like, yeah, so then
I blocked my boyfriend and the boyfriend's on the call
still and he's like, bro, still here, Yeah, I'm still here.
So Dad wants to invite me to a wedding, right right?

Speaker 4 (18:36):
This is I don't I don't blame you for being
exhausted by this, Opie.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
This is insane going on? What is happening?

Speaker 4 (18:44):
So they are not engaged, but the discussion focused on
whether his family would attend a wedding at all. This
is heavily tied to cultural and family expectations, and it
was being discussed in real time, which added fuel to
an already volatile situation. My husband was also on the
FaceTime but said he was quote studying during much of it.
How can you study while watching reality TV?

Speaker 2 (19:05):
It's like when you guys study to us, I don't
understand it. I don't get who you do it.

Speaker 4 (19:10):
Because of that, he was only focusing on parts of
the conversation and not the full interaction, which became important later.
When I tried to speak up during the FaceTime to
redirect or add details to aggressive questions that were making
the situation worse, I was cut off and yelled at
for attempting to diffuse things.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
That's when you just exit the call. Yeah, then what
am I doing? Here.

Speaker 4 (19:30):
Why was I called my husband? He dragged me into this.
He's not even a part of this, he's studying.

Speaker 2 (19:38):
Babe. You take over, right, and now you don't even
want me to be involved. Great, I don't want to
be Let me leave. Please release me from this cage.
I think you just leave silently during that, and then
they just keep yelling.

Speaker 4 (19:52):
I think that's what you need to do. Then they're like, oh, yeah,
we don't need to have our phones on it.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
Yeah, exactly. Oh we're we're together, actually right.

Speaker 4 (20:00):
I eventually removed myself in the call frankoedness because I
felt overwhelmed and unhurt. Immediately after leaving that FaceTime, I
facetimed to my husband to explain what had just happened.
Instead of being met with support, I was yelled at
again and told I was interrupting and not being helpful,
which I completely disagree with because I was trying to
disengage my friend from turning this into what felt like

(20:22):
the ninetieth breakup of the same relationship. Because he had
only been partially paying attention earlier, he did not have
the full context of what had happened and would not
let me elaborate God's insane.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Can we turn this into the first breakup? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (20:35):
Right, I think we must, please. I think we might
need to, because if he's yelling at you for something
that you were doing during the conversation, he doesn't even
know what the conversation was about.

Speaker 2 (20:43):
That's crazy. Yeah, He's like, I don't know you were talking.

Speaker 4 (20:46):
Yeah, I was trying to studying God, that's insane. That
is when I snapped. I deactivated my social accounts and
blocked everyone. Not my strongest moment, and I will admit
it was chick. I have diagnosed chronic PTSD and anxiety,
and I could not see another way to stop them
from talking to me.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
In the moment, after.

Speaker 4 (21:07):
I realized what I had done, in less than an hour,
I reactivated my accounts and unblocked everyone. I reached out
to my husband and felt like I was being judged
from my reaction without anyone fully understanding what I had
just mentally gone through for what felt like the tenth
time with the same friend and boyfriend. I tried to
explain everything again via text, to which he called me.
He told me he did not want to read my

(21:27):
messages because they were too long.

Speaker 2 (21:30):
I mean to be fair, yeah, I don't know if
I would want to read a long explanation of why
my partner had blocked me and everyone. Now, you could
just call That is fair.

Speaker 4 (21:42):
You could just call me and just just read it again,
read it out loud for me.

Speaker 3 (21:46):
Just tell me right now. Yeah, we're good.

Speaker 2 (21:48):
That is fair.

Speaker 4 (21:49):
It was not because he had obligations later, as he
said over text, but because he did not have the
capacity or desire to read them.

Speaker 3 (21:55):
That was the breaking point. I told him over the
phone that I want a divorce and reiterated it over text.

Speaker 2 (22:01):
I forgot you guys were married. Yeah. Is it bigger
than just a breaking Oh? Man.

Speaker 4 (22:06):
I regret how intensely I've reacted, and I have taken
accountability for that. I'm not ready to talk to that
friend because it will go back to the same cycle
of torment. What I am struggling with is whether I
am overreacting to the larger pattern of being dismissed, talked over,
and treated like my thoughts are not worth the time
it takes to listen, or whether this situation really is.

Speaker 2 (22:27):
As unhealthy as it feels.

Speaker 4 (22:29):
Also, to add context, my husband and I are long
distance due to me finishing university where I am and
him being in medical school. I'm posting here because I
need outside perspective. Am I overreacting or does this relationship
seem broken beyond repair?

Speaker 2 (22:42):
And we do have an update? But what do you think?
I feel like if you have already jumped to divorce,
it seems like this was kind of a long time coming. Yeah,
and maybe you could go to therapy, or maybe you
could have gone to therapy, but it feels like you're
kind of done. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (23:00):
I mean, if this was like the only time this
has happened, then maybe it woulds just a moment to
take a step back and be like, hey, what's going on?
You know? But you know, I'm gonna trust you that
you've said this is not the first time and that
this actually is a pattern and this is constantly done.

Speaker 2 (23:16):
Like I think the calling after a big text.

Speaker 4 (23:19):
Like that is super fair, But I do understand how
that could be frustrating if like he just never wants
to let us. I can see how it comes off
that way. So yeah, I mean, I would trust you, girl.
I feel like I don't know enough about the whole
relationship entirely to make a decision for you whether you
should divorce or not. But I'm going to trust you

(23:39):
and say that too. I think you want a divorce.

Speaker 2 (23:42):
I think you already asked for that is true. Yeah, yeah,
so go ahead do it. Yeah, we do have an
update though.

Speaker 4 (23:51):
I'm putting this here to also get the am I
the a whole perspective on this. I'm genuinely asking because
I feel emotionally fried and do not trust my own
judgment right now. The situation I should happen over a
FaceTime call. I am also attaching screenshots of the text
context yourash. I lot that this was not a sudden decision.
For a long time in my marriage, I have felt minimized, questioned,

(24:11):
and treated like my thoughts are not trustworthy. My husband
tends to question or double check what I say, but
he trusts other people without hesitation.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
Ohpie's husband is like, no, Dar, the yellow wallpaper is
not moving. Y'are just crazy right right exactly.

Speaker 4 (24:28):
When I try to explain myself or give context, I'm
often cut off because he doesn't want to argue. Over time,
this has made me feel small and stupid, like I
constantly have to defend my own reality. We do have
a little bit more to the story. Should we just
jump right on it. Let's dive in all right? For
additional context, this mutual friend has repeatedly made mean comments
towards me in public, including calling me names in front

(24:50):
of strangers.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (24:52):
She tracks my location, calls repeatedly if I do not answer,
and I feel like I don't have the space to
see other friends without being monitored. I have also felt
pressured to be harsh towards her boyfriend on her behalf,
which makes me deeply uncomfortable. After hours of trying to
explain myself and feeling dismissed, I told my husband over
the phone that I want a divorce and regretted.

Speaker 2 (25:11):
It over text.

Speaker 4 (25:12):
I regret how intensely I reacted, and I have taken
accountability for that. But am I the a hole for
wanting a divorce over this?

Speaker 2 (25:18):
Ope?

Speaker 3 (25:18):
He needs to know if she's overreacting or not.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
Well, So it seems like you asked for divorce over phone, yeah,
and then kind of backtracked over text. That's what that
sounded like, Like I asked for you.

Speaker 4 (25:31):
Know, yeah, Like it feels like a maybe it was
like I'm so sorry that was yeah, you know, I
wasn't thinking I.

Speaker 2 (25:37):
Think you should stop doing things over text and overcall.
I agree, I think. I mean, if they're long.

Speaker 4 (25:42):
Distance, they would have to do things over the phone,
but that's better than text.

Speaker 2 (25:47):
Okay. Yeah, if you're a long distance which I forgot, Yeah,
then let's do things overcall. Let's not do things over text. Yeah,
honestly even better FaceTime Yeah yeah true, seeing someone's like
facial expressions, yeah, way better. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (26:01):
I mean it seems like maybe, oh, he was posting
that update because she didn't quite get the answer she
wanted before, or maybe not enough people responded or something,
and so she's just kind of asking the question again, like.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
One more time. Yeah. I still don't know what to do,
right thoughts. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (26:20):
I think if this is a constant pattern, I think,
first of all, you know this is a constant pattern,
it seems like you shouldn't be together, agreed.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
And also you should not be friends with that person
at all. Yeah, you said she was mean to you, Yeah,
she's like constantly straight up, she's just mean. Yeah, she
just is like using you for like venting support, I guess,
but doesn't want your input. Yeah, no, absolutely, Like that's
the frustrating thing. And if you're just the friend that
she calls to complain about her boyfriend, is that really

(26:51):
a friendship? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (26:52):
I think now we block her because if she's just
constantly calling you, if she's not getting an answer, we.

Speaker 3 (26:57):
Block, blocked, blocked, And then yeah, I don't know, you can.

Speaker 4 (27:01):
I guess try if there's couples counseling for your relationship,
but maybe that first, why not? Maybe individual counseling that too,
that too, for sure. But yeah, I think you have
the answer in your heart all along. I think we
know it was always with you. Yes, But that's the
end and out story. We've got another one coming right

(27:21):
up to I do.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
I love my husband, but his refusal to get therapy
is breaking me great. Now I need therapy. Hi, guys,
I don't even know where to begin. I have ADHD
and can't tell how much background is needed for this
to make sense. I thirty three female, met my husband
thirty five male, two and a half years ago. We
got married despite my therapist and friends expressing that we
should wait. Ooh ooh. Those are two groups of people

(27:47):
that we should have probably listened to. Yeah, one, especially
my husband makes me feel protected wanted in that piece
when we're okay, Oh, when we're okay. So the keywords
I knew, I loved him, and I wanted to be
able to add him and his daughter fifteen female onto
my insurance as my work benefits are great and she
needed both physical and mental health help. By the way,

(28:09):
this comes from Lucy Loo to six' nine two on
the r Slash okay, storytime subredde what and if you
want to smith, stories you should go to that subredd it.
Too H I'm, Sophia I'm, angie and we're here to
give you good. Advice, goofley but we don't have all the.
Answers we really know what we would, do so let
us know what you would do in the comments and op.
Says our relationship moved along pretty. Fast they moved in

(28:31):
with my son eleven, male and me after only three
months of. Dating it was obviously a shock for the
first six, months with a lot of change in a
short period of. TIME i was always open with my
son and he seemed to understand and saw that my
husband genuinely made me. Happy he was not against them
moving in despite having to share a room now with
your husband's.

Speaker 3 (28:50):
Daughter, yeah sounds like M my son is my.

Speaker 2 (28:54):
World my, son though, small remembers how harmful my relationship
with his dad. WAS i have been in therapy since
my son was about four years. Old it took years
of therapy and a diagnosis OF adhd along with treatment
to leave that relationship for. GOOD i worked on myself
and doubted myself as a mother AS i had to
work so much to give my son everything he. Deserved

(29:14):
his dad isn't very involved and is three years behind
on child, support so it has always just been income
supporting the both of. US i managed to buy my
own home by the TIME i was twenty. Nine congratulations.
Nice this is WHEN i finally left his. DAD i
went through a depressive, phase feeling LIKE i wasn't giving
my son the life he deserved by trying to work
things out with his, dad and then feeling lonely and

(29:36):
burn out from working so. Much through, THERAPY i managed
to bring myself back, up started dating and met my now.
Husband my stepdaughter's bio mom isn't involved. Either her biomom
will either cancel plans last minute or completely ghost her
and ask for forgiveness after the. FACT i could always
tell this affected, her no matter how much she would
say she didn't care or wasn't bothered by. It my

(29:57):
husband didn't think much about this as to, him and
at least she had one parent in her. LIFE i
feel like you should be thinking a little bit more about.

Speaker 3 (30:04):
It, yeah maybe we should consider a child's.

Speaker 2 (30:07):
Feeling, yeah he's, LIKE i don't. Know she said she's. Fine,
yeah she literally says she's. Good but she's got. Me
she can't.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
Lie she's she's just not like she lost both of.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
Repairs, no she got. One.

Speaker 4 (30:19):
Yeah, hey It's, angie your favorite fake redhead host here
and we're going to get back to the.

Speaker 3 (30:25):
Stories but he's a three minute ad break from our.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
Sponsors it may be the nerd of, virgins But i'm
very sensitive to the vibes around. ME i could sense
when things were off with her and knew she needed
to speak with. SOMEONE i do you feel like you have?
That BECAUSE i feel LIKE i have. THAT i feel
LIKE i notice WHEN i don't know if it's like
an everyone, thing BUT i feel LIKE I i, Like
i'm always, like oh, no they're. Mad, Yeah, NO i get.

(30:50):
THAT i cannot feel, sometimes BUT i also.

Speaker 4 (30:52):
Can't it's hard to tell, sometimes whether it's just me
thinking that, exactly or if it's, like actually for, real something,
like AM.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
I actually just picking? Up? Yeah, minute little details are, fine.
Right our relationship had a very rocky. Start even THOUGH
i tried my best to show her affection the same
WAY i showed affection to my, son she was not
used to this type of, affection so my husband asked
me to. STOP i respected their boundaries and took a step,
back BUT i still thought she needed to talk to.

(31:20):
Someone this was the biggest factor in wanting to get.
Married she had to grow up really. Fast she had
to wake herself, up starting at eight years old and
walked to school because my husband started work. Early wow,
dang he worked long hours and wouldn't be home until.
Late she walked herself to school at eight years. OLD
i guess it depends how close you are to. School,

(31:40):
yeah BECAUSE i lived like right across the street from my,
school that would make. Sense SO i was like that
we did that, Too yeah, yeah, yeah but both so
any further than across the, street, YEAH i, MEAN i,
mean you would, like this is kind of too late
to do anything about, this BUT i would, wonder are
there any like before school care options or something because

(32:03):
a lot of, times at least at my, school there
was like a pre daycare in the post school.

Speaker 3 (32:10):
Daycare, yeah, yeah that's, true but.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
It's too late to do anything about, that not it.
Anymore her routine was to go from school to her uncle's,
house then home to wait for her. Dad she didn't
have the structure THAT i was able to provide to my.
Son she basically had to raise, herself even though my
husband was technically there. For my husband has his own story.
Too his grandma raised him as his mom had her
own issues and was not. Around his dad worked things

(32:34):
out with his previous, wife who didn't want my husband
in her. Home my husband's grandma passed away from cancer
when he was still in high. School he tells me
stories about how he would sometimes have to sleep at
a park because he'd run away from his foster. Homes
oh my, God. God his family wouldn't take him. In
as he would, say he and his older brother were
a package. Deal his older brother had a very bad

(32:54):
temper and ultimately passed away from an. Incident my husband
spent two years in prison, wow and took the time
to reflect on his life and what he wanted life
to look like when he got. Out once, out he
got full custody of his daughter and started working long.
HOURS i don't know if that was enough, background But
i'm finally getting to the issue at. Hand the many
years of THERAPY i went through less MY adhd treatment

(33:17):
really helped me self reflect and aided with my impulsivity and.
Reactivity i'm a much better partner. Now i'm very self,
aware BUT i continue going to therapy as the TIMES
i have, STOPPED i start to feel Like i'm going
crazy again BECAUSE i get in my. Head all this
to say that the RELATIONSHIP i have with my husband
is completely different from the ONE i had with my son's.

(33:37):
Dad my husband AND i would never call each other,
names we wouldn't fight in front of the, kids and
if we had a slip, up we would talk it.
Out things started to change when my husband had to
stop smoking as a new job wouldn't allow him. To
he had really bad. Withdrawals for about a. MONTH i
almost ended, things but kept reminding myself that it was
just the withdrawals and that we could get through. It

(33:57):
during this, time, however we started fighting in front of
the kids and started. Cussing at each. Other oh, boy
we just started going down the wrong. Path that's not,
great not good at. All and IF i were to
have offered, advice probably while he's going through this period of,
withdrawals LIKE i don't, know limiting the amount of contact

(34:23):
is like with the kids that you, like you, know
you have time, together but maybe that's not while the
kids are. There, yeah so we just avoid that.

Speaker 4 (34:32):
Entirely if you, like maybe notice yourself getting heated or
something like, that maybe there's a way that you can feel,
like we need to put a pin in this and
just get this, later because the bottom, line we can't
be fighting in front of the.

Speaker 2 (34:42):
Kids, YEAH i MEAN i guess maybe at that time
they were already living. TOGETHER i don't, know, yeah BECAUSE
i was thinking that was my. Advice if they weren't living,
together like you could kind of go down on how
much you're seeing each, Other, yeah at least when you
have the, kids but if you're living, together because it's
kind of, tricky it could be.

Speaker 4 (34:59):
TRICKY i wonder, though even if they are living, together they,
like you, know because the kids.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
Are eleven and.

Speaker 3 (35:05):
Fifteen, yeah so it's not like they can't be home,
alone you, know WHAT i.

Speaker 4 (35:08):
Mean SO i wonder if they maybe just go on
a walk or take a drive or something like, that
you know WHAT i.

Speaker 2 (35:13):
Mean BUT i don't.

Speaker 4 (35:14):
Know that seems a lot easier said than, done and
seems like it would be more complicated in the real.

Speaker 2 (35:20):
Situation it does, seem SO i took a step, back
talked it out with my, therapist and kind of. Rebooted
it's been one year since the, withdrawals and we've had
some major. Hiccups at one, POINT i even threatened. DIVORCE
i talked to him and explain things to, him and
he says he'll work on, it BUT i can't continue
to be his. Therapist i've asked him to get tested
FOR adhd as it runs in his, family to try

(35:41):
and get treatment Because i've realized That i've reverted to
doing some THINGS i used to do with my. Ex
i'm not putting the blame on, him BUT i am
saying that his reactions to things trigger. Me most, recently
he triggered a panic. Attack prior to MY adhd. DIAGNOSIS
i used to get panic attacks pretty, often BUT i
knew how to manage, them AS i could tell WHEN
i was early. On in ONE i haven't really had

(36:02):
any since STARTING adhd. Treatment this attack was not caught,
early and it got to the point where my arms
and legs started feeling numb from crying so. Much my
GOOD i guess this is your brain's way of protecting
itself by trying to deflect to other parts of your.
Body this was triggered when he called me selfish and
accused me of not caring about anyone but, myself all
BECAUSE i asked for help two mornings in a row

(36:24):
as the kids were on school break AND i had
to work from. Home being called selfish triggered me so,
badly not just BECAUSE i most definitely am, not but
because he said it in the same way my exit
after this, EPISODE i told him he needs to seek,
help he needs a therapist of his, own but he
claims that won't help. Him he refuses to at least
get THE adhd testing, done AND i don't know how

(36:45):
else to open his. EYES i really do love. HIM
i catch myself looking at him in a Way i've
never looked at anyone. ELSE i catch him looking at
me in the same way as. Well it really isn't all,
bad but his reactions and refusal to go to therapy
are bringing old things, back AND i don't like. IT
i know the PERSON i was back then was the
PERSON i needed to be for, survival BUT i really

(37:06):
don't want to be in survival mode. Anymore does anyone
have any advice on how to get him to agree to.
THERAPY i don't see how else he can change or
work on things without professional. Help, yes my male friends
have even tried to normalize therapy by admitting that they
go to therapy. Too he's a great. GUY i just
see THE adhd impulsivity and reactivity and don't know how

(37:26):
else to help. Him there is a little bit left
to the. Story but do you have any. THOUGHTS i
have a lot of. Thoughts, yeah in this, situation me.

Speaker 3 (37:34):
TOO i think this is not JUST.

Speaker 2 (37:37):
Adhd, YEAH i think this is just.

Speaker 4 (37:41):
Poor regulation of, emotions which could you, know be affected BY.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
Adhd.

Speaker 4 (37:48):
Absolutely BUT i think you're waiting for him to change
a lot about.

Speaker 2 (37:54):
Himself.

Speaker 4 (37:55):
Yeah and that's not even in a way Like i'm
not even saying that in a way where it's, like, oh,
pe you're in the wrong for like wanting someone to.

Speaker 2 (38:03):
Change it's just, no.

Speaker 4 (38:04):
Girl he's not being good to you and you're waiting
for him to just be good to you all of a,
sudden and unfortunately it's not going to be so easy
as him just going to therapy and getting diagnosed FOR.

Speaker 3 (38:17):
Adhd like it's way more than.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
That, yeah so. Absolutely and ALSO i think you're giving
a lot of excuses to his. Behavior, Yeah like the
first time it was the, withdrawals and that was a
year of that, behavior which you, know good on, you
like you were supportive and you were there for him
and you. Understood and now, it's, oh well he's treating
me like this because he HAS. Adhd so we're constantly

(38:40):
excusing this behavior that we're, seeing, Right and if he's
not willing to make any changes in his life or get,
help then there's not really anything that you can do
or say yeah that's going to make him want to do.

Speaker 4 (38:53):
It, yeah because, THERAPY i mean, really if he doesn't
want to do, it it's not going to be good
like He's if he doesn't want to be, there then
he's not going.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
To participate and he's not going to get.

Speaker 4 (39:05):
Better so, HONESTLY i think you need to instead of
asking the question like how DO i get him to
go to? THERAPY i think you need to focus on
yourself and your. Kid, yeah and instead of being, like
how DO i get this guy to? CHANGE i think
you need to think, like, oh how DO i make
my situation?

Speaker 2 (39:24):
Better what CAN i? Do assuming, like assume that he's
not going to?

Speaker 4 (39:28):
Change, Ever, yeah it's always going to be like, this
because it might, So, YEAH i would ask yourself that, question.

Speaker 2 (39:35):
What can you do to be not in survival mode? Anymore?
YEAH i mean leaving?

Speaker 4 (39:40):
Him?

Speaker 2 (39:41):
Maybe. MAYBE i also going back to the beginning of
the story because you said that your son who's, eleven
and your fifteen year old step daughter share a, room
which totally understand that there are situations where that has to.
Happen sure this one didn't have to happen because you
guys were living separately at a. Time, yeah and you

(40:03):
had separate rooms for your, kids, presumably, right it's NOT
i think the best option to have an eleven year
old boy and a fifteen year old girl who are
just at like totally different points in their life sharing a. Room.
Yeah that's the only Thing i'm worried about is anyway
that can be. CHANGED i understand financial issues are a thing,

(40:27):
here but, yeah that was the only THING i worried
about when you guys moved in. Together, yeah and talk
to your son about. That is he affected by? This
is this something that he doesn't really like and he's
upset By and while you've been you, know well you've
been focusing on your. Relationship what's going on with? Him,
yeah that's Why i'd be.

Speaker 3 (40:47):
Wondering take in with the kids would be, Good but there's.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
A little bit left before anyone says you can't help
someone who doesn't want to be. HELPED i know, this
but this isn't an option for. ME i know my
life would probably be easier without, him BUT i really
do want to make this. Work on a positive, note
his daughter has benefited from. Therapy that's, Amazing, okay and
my relationship with her is pretty good. Now my son
is pretty oblivious to. This he's in his own world

(41:10):
with his friends now that he's getting older and isn't
as attached to my hip as he once. Was he
truly is a great, kid And i'm proud THAT i
get a call on my. Son, well that's. Good keep
checking in, though because is he actually oblivious to this
or you, know just just just check in about. That,
yeah is that the end of that, story it. Is that's. Crazy,
YEAH i hope it all works. Out, YEAH i mean,

(41:31):
try but also don't, don't you, know don't sacrifice. Yourself,
yeah and your son and even your daughter in this. Case,
yeah keep going to. THERAPY i hope that's going. WELL
i think it is just. Possible maybe this isn't your,
situation but maybe it.

Speaker 4 (41:52):
Is it's it's very common for people who get out
of abusive relationships to get into another one.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
That just isn't as. Bad, yeah and you're, like, oh,
well you were not exactly like my, ex yeah, exactly
but you're also telling us that he's saying things exactly
like your. Ex.

Speaker 4 (42:07):
Yeah and, like besides the, point like even if it
wasn't like, that that was another THING i was thinking,
Too like, you even if this thing that he's saying isn't
how your ex said, it or isn't exactly word for
word when he said or something like, that it's still something.
Bad that's, like, like it's not just triggering you because
it's reminding you of the.

Speaker 2 (42:26):
Past it's just a mean thing to.

Speaker 1 (42:28):
Say.

Speaker 4 (42:28):
Yeah so, yeah SO i would just talk to your
therapist about that BECAUSE i don't like.

Speaker 2 (42:34):
What i'm hearing it to be quite, honest or DO
i or DO? I but that is the end of that. Story,
hey It's, angie your favorite fashion. Host.

Speaker 4 (42:43):
Here we're going to get back to the, stories but
here's three minutes of ads from our. SPONSORS i joked
about my husband in front of our work.

Speaker 2 (42:51):
Colleagues now he's. Mad stop making fun of.

Speaker 4 (42:55):
Me about a month, AGO i female thirty, eight was
promoted to a higher position at my. JOB i am
now in a more senior position than my, husband mail
forty one at. Work my husband has always told me
how happy he was THAT i got the, promotion but
SOMETIMES i get the feeling that he's embarrassed That i'm
technically his.

Speaker 2 (43:12):
Superior.

Speaker 4 (43:12):
Now by the, way this comes from deleted and if
you want to submit your own, stories go to the
r Slash okay Storytime. Sepreddit I'm, angie Oh, sophia and
we're here to give good. Advice, Goofily but we don't
have all the. Answers we just know what we would
do in these. Situations so let us know what you
would do in the. Comments nop, says last night we
had a work related social. Event it was supposed to
be an opportunity to build team cohesion and that sort of.

Speaker 2 (43:35):
Thing but my husband didn't really want to. Go he's pretty.

Speaker 4 (43:38):
Introverted he also said he had a migraine and didn't
want to make it. WORSE i told him that it
would be weird if he didn't, come and people might
think that he's jealous of me getting the. Promotion after
some more, PERSUASION i was able to convince him to come.
Along when we got, there he agreed a few, people
but ended up spending most of the time sitting in
a corner on his own and only chatting with a
few people at a. Time aside from, that the event

(43:59):
was pretty good and most of our coworkers were. Present
at some, POINT i was in a large group When
sarah female forty, six who had not yet seen my husband,
there asked where he was and jokingly asked if he
was as serious and mysterious at home as he was at.
WORK i told him that he was the complete opposite at.
HOME i said that while at work he seems, organized at,
home he's a bit of a. SLOB i joked about

(44:20):
how he always leaves his laundry all over the, floor
AND i mentioned things like how he complains too much
about random trivial things like the neighbor's kids sometimes playing
in our.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
Lawn. HM i love. That that's my. Dad my dad's
always like, ah these, neighbors, right call him a. CURMUDGEON a.
Curmudgeon m, hmm that's a fun. Word, YEAH i. KNOW
i also mentioned how he has a fear of heights and.

Speaker 4 (44:41):
How he was shaking the entire time when we crossed
a rope bridge during our.

Speaker 2 (44:46):
Honeymoon. Oh he's, like let me give you a, list all,
right these are all the embarrassing THINGS i have about my.
Husband oh, boy HAVE i been waiting to talk. About.
Yeah she was, LIKE i was just wondering if he
was like so.

Speaker 4 (44:57):
Serious yeah that's All She's, no he could let loose
a little, bit.

Speaker 2 (45:01):
And she's, like and another, thing he what the Ben.

Speaker 4 (45:03):
YEAH i did say a few other, things like HOW
i sometimes feel like i'm his.

Speaker 2 (45:09):
Parenting, okay YOU'RE i feel like this is maybe too,
FAR i, Agree, yeah one or two of these. Things, Yeah,
Okay i'd, like oh he's a messy ha ha ha ha.
Ha yeah it might.

Speaker 4 (45:24):
BE i can't tell HOW i would feel IF i,
like wasn't there when jokes like that were.

Speaker 2 (45:29):
Happening, Yeah SO i feel Like riley teases me about
stuff like that all the. Time, sure but Usually i'm. There,
yeah and then you can be like, whoa, woa.

Speaker 4 (45:37):
Whoa, yeah you can back yourself, up yeah and still
kind of like play into a joking kind of, thing
but but not being.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
There. Yeah it just feels like you're insulting your, partner,
right especially too that the list has gone. On it
goes on too.

Speaker 4 (45:53):
Long everyone was interested and surprised to hear all of,
this and we did share many laughs.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
Together. Yeah now just like you're laughing at your. Partner.

Speaker 4 (46:01):
Yeah at some point my husband walked into the conversation
and quickly pieced together what we were talking. About the
rest of the conversation was awkward after. That on the drive,
home my husband was not. Speaking WHEN i asked him
if everything was all, right he said THAT i surprised.
HIM i was annoyed by him being, Vague SO i
told him THAT i knew that he wasn't feeling one hundred,
percent but that he was acting childish for not socializing

(46:24):
and acting.

Speaker 2 (46:24):
Offended girl again just going too far.

Speaker 4 (46:29):
One, Thing and she's, like, well, actually, yeah, yeah instead
of being he's.

Speaker 2 (46:33):
Like, MOM i don't. Know he just kind of surprised,
me and instead of being, like, why what do you
tell me? More, yeah he's, like, ah you're, oh it's
acting like a. Child i'm your, mother, right it's too.

Speaker 4 (46:45):
Much he said that it was childish and rude THAT
i was sharing his personal details with our. COLLEAGUES i
then told him that he was blowing things out of,
proportion but he didn't, respond and the rest of the
ride was. Silent, yeah you're so in the, wrong, yes our.
Girl when we got, home we argued again about the night's.
Events my husband said my behavior was appalling and that

(47:05):
he questioned IF i had any respect for.

Speaker 2 (47:07):
Him it doesn't feel like.

Speaker 4 (47:08):
It, yeah, honestly, YEAH i was angry by his, outbursts
SO i told him that he was only being sensitive
BECAUSE i was technically his superior.

Speaker 2 (47:17):
Now and that was really bothering. Him, oh you cannot, quit.

Speaker 4 (47:25):
Honestly you guys need to go to therapy, now and
you need to learn how to communicate to each.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
Other has he ever said that or have you just
assumed that he feels weird because you're his, Superior because
if he's never said, that and then you come out
with a, well this is just because i'm technically your. Boss, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (47:47):
Exactly like when we start in an, argument when we
start telling other people how they feel and why they
feel that, way that's that's a.

Speaker 2 (47:56):
Problem we can't be doing. That even just telling some
one how they feel is. Bad, yeah telling him that
he's wrong for feeling, upset that you are audition all
of his personal.

Speaker 4 (48:06):
Information, YEAH i think we need to stop calling each other.
Childish this is just like just you, know basic rules
of communication that we can practice. This.

Speaker 2 (48:16):
YEAH i also really hate the insult of like you're
acting like a. Child, yeah especially with like a, partner
when you're trying to have an adult relation or adult
conversation and the and then to jump to that you're
acting like a, Child, right these are Not they're not a,
child they're an. Adult and if they're you, know, upset

(48:38):
if they're, angry if they're throwing a, tantrum that's it's
not a child throwing a. Tantrum it's adult to try
and to have an actual conversation with. Them let's not
jump to name calling, exactly it's, like actually try and
work through this.

Speaker 4 (48:53):
Exactly the argument ended there as my husband didn't want
to quote to waste any more time and went to.
Bed THIS i texted my younger sister what, happened and
she accused me of being.

Speaker 2 (49:03):
Insensitive AM i the a?

Speaker 3 (49:05):
WHOLE i, mean you have an, update but, yeah we've
kind of spoken of mine on.

Speaker 4 (49:08):
That, YES i mean, obviously like there was a moment
where he called you childish and, stuff and like maybe
he wasn't fully communicating the best. Way BUT i do
think you're more in the. WRONG i, AGREED i think
you were being pretty. Insensitive, yeah these are just these
are just not how we.

Speaker 2 (49:22):
Communicate that's. All that's. All but we do have an.

Speaker 4 (49:25):
Update i'll start this post off firstly by SAYING i
was completely in the.

Speaker 2 (49:29):
Wrong cool Whoa i'll be. SAID i looked at all
the comments saying THAT i was the a, hole AND
i have come to the realization right THAT i was the. Ahole.

Speaker 4 (49:39):
Hah there are zero excuses for HOW i treated my
husband that night at the work Social he, is without a,
doubt the personification of a perfect.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
Husband, okay, okay you don't have to you don't have
to cater to. Us, he's LIKE i, Lied he's, perfect, right,
right and no, critiques no critiques at.

Speaker 4 (49:57):
All, honestly at TIMES i find myself wondering if he's
too good for. Me he's the kindest PERSON i. Know
he's incredibly supportive of me in every. Way he's, funny
he's very, intelligent easy to talk. To and, yes he's
also very good. Looking, okay, yeah now like you're trying
to prove something, here a.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
Little bit of a pig, compliment.

Speaker 4 (50:16):
RIGHT i feel heartbroken about the things THAT i, said
especially about the fear of heights. Thing my husband only
bothered overcoming it and crossing that rope bridge for my.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
Sake after, all is this your husband writing the just
feels like your husband logged into Your reddit account and was,
like he's so hot and he's not afraid of. Heights
he was trying to help, me, Right he did it for, Me,
yeah he was actually really brave of.

Speaker 4 (50:43):
It after reading the COMMENTS i received and doing extensive self,
REFLECTION i profusely apologized to my husband and told him
THAT i do love and respect. HIM i apologize not
only for the things THAT i said that, night but
also for my general behavior SINCE i got my promotion
and my accusations of him being jealous being. Him he
accepted my apology immediately and even said that he had

(51:06):
already forgiven me because he considered my actions to be
a mistake rather than. Intentional, wow her husband is so
much nicer than. You. Yeah he then actually apologized as,
well because he thought that he had spoken out of
anger and escalated the situation when we got. Home there
is more to this. Story but, okay now we're getting to. Communication.

Speaker 2 (51:29):
Yeah took us a. Minute, Yeah i'm out. THERE i
hope that this isn't just like you, know people pleasing going.
ON i hope. NOT i hope that every time, she you,
know makes a, mistake she doesn't have to come To
reddit and be, like, oh, yes you guys are right right,
Right but there is more to this.

Speaker 4 (51:45):
Story since, Then i've been trying my best to be
worthy of. Him he told me that we should let
the whole thing be in the, past BUT i THINK
i always cringe WHEN i think back to that night
and the time leading up to. It things at work
have also been pretty. Smooth my husband doesn't mind going
in and chatting with our other. Colleagues, yesterday he in
fact expanded on the rope bridge story with one of our.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
Colleagues SO i think he's. Comfortable he's, like, wait, WAIT
i gotta EXPLAINED i wasn't afraid of, heights right, Right
so it was a whole other part of the.

Speaker 4 (52:13):
Story it was just really shake a bridge and it
was really, windy thatt. Day that's WHY i was, shaking
not because of, nerves that's.

Speaker 2 (52:20):
All. Yeah, Now i'm really just hoping THAT i can
be as good of a spouse as he. Is and
that's the end of that. Story, well acceptance is the
first part of the. Battle that's. Great you. Apologize that's good. Too,
yeah that is. GREAT i think we got to back
off this guy being. Introbuted all.

Speaker 4 (52:36):
Right you said he was talking to a few people at. Time, yeah,
listen that's how parties. Work absolutely, no the.

Speaker 2 (52:43):
Party we don't need to be like in a dance,
circle all, right or like speaking to a whole. Crowd,
yeah that's, okay it's all. Right let our guy. Be
let him. Be but that is the end of that.
Story we've got some comments coming right up and just
a say sure do all, Right and we've got some
comments from the VIDEO i confronted my cheating. Husband now

(53:07):
he's threatening to hurt. Himself oh oh my. Gosh and
this was Posted january twenty, fourth twenty twenty. Five and
this T ldr comes from story. Too opie's husband started
a new business that makes him travel overseas almost all the,
time leaving her alone with their two young. Kids when
she visited, him something felt, wrong so she checked his
phone and found over a hundred numbers and chats with young.

(53:31):
Women oh my. God he said they were just conversations
to help him, relax But opie doesn't know if she believes.
Him she even tested him by pretending to be one
of the girls and he agreed to me before blocking the.
Number Now opi feels, betrayed but doesn't know if she
should leave or try to fix. Things and if you're
curious to know the full, story you can go watch

(53:51):
the full. Video oh, BOY i vaguely remember this. Story,
yeah but we've got some comments From, reluki who, says
WHEN i was, seventeen someone once congratulated my dad on
having a girlfriend so. Young they ASSUMED i was his,
girlfriend and they may have mistaken me for a little
older BECAUSE i was in a pencil, skirt blazer and

(54:12):
shirt my school. Uniform we no longer had to wear
the school logo in sixth, form but still had a.
Uniform my dad was thrilled that someone thought he could
pull someone so. YOUNG i was. Disgusted, oh my, God i'm.
Disgusted your dad was. Thrilled and also you were in
a school uniform and no one noticed. That, yeah obviously

(54:33):
my dad immediately, clarified but he was too flattered to
see the. Issue Bro, yike they had this conversation in my,
earshot but not with me stood with. THEM i hate.
THAT i think men tend to treat other men like
dating someone younger as a status, symbole but ignore the
fact that doing so tends to blow up lives due
to how inappropriate it usually. Is the opium the story

(54:56):
is so desperate to be part of the family and
bring them. Peace the father is the one who should know. Better,
unfortunately if he is of legal age and there is
no evidence of grooming, legally he is in the. Clearer
if not morally and, socially he is. That OH i don't. Know,
YEAH i don't remember too much of the story to
comment on.

Speaker 1 (55:15):
That.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
Yeah comment two From child of The One True Almighty
god says story, two you're too focused on outside. Factors
you're a man is cheating on. You he is disrespectful
of you and your. Relationship it's. Over he can still
provide for you and your children without alimony and child.
Support get the. Housed you're in denial and are being.
Delusional you were never best friends or he couldn't have

(55:37):
done that to. You this is so. Sad the next
generation is being raised by a bunch of liars and,
cowards and people wonder why the world is, imploding and
there you. ARE i, mean hopefully leave this guy or
you left, HIM i don't. Remember, Yeah but that's the
end of those comments and the end of this. Episode
so if you love, us make sure to. Subscribe we
love you and see you. Tomorrow

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My husband wanted to name our baby AFTER his late father and I hate it! | Reddit Stories | EP2676