My husband’s new car has been TOTALED.. and I don’t know how to tell him! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2649 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Angie and this is Riley, your favorite
Okay Stories. I'm hosts and we got some great stories
coming up.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
But before that, we have a quick two minute break
from our sponsors that keep the show alive.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
My husband's new car has been totaled and I don't
know how.

Speaker 4 (00:14):
To tell him.

Speaker 5 (00:14):
Maybe you just hide it from him.

Speaker 4 (00:16):
And there's a trigger warning here for mentions of mistreatment.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
This happened earlier today and I've i twenty eight female
have been in emotional wreck all day. This will probably
only make sense if I tell you a bit about
my ex friend.

Speaker 4 (00:29):
Let's call her Lucy.

Speaker 5 (00:30):
Because it was her fault.

Speaker 4 (00:32):
Oh was it Lucy's fault?

Speaker 3 (00:34):
I met her in freshman year of college and she
was part of a larger friend group because we all
lived in the same hall. For as long as I've
known her, she has had pretty significant mood swings. And
by the way, this comes from user throw away.

Speaker 4 (00:46):
A new car totaled.

Speaker 3 (00:49):
And if you want us to meet your own stories,
go to the hert slash Okay Storytime suburday. I'm Dakota,
I'm Riley, I'm key On, and we are here collectively
to give good advice kind of Goofley.

Speaker 4 (00:57):
You know whenever you don't know everything? So what do
you know? We want to know? Tell us what you
know in the comments.

Speaker 6 (01:03):
Tell us your secrets, and op says.

Speaker 3 (01:06):
Sometimes Lucy was super sweet and caring person, but when
she gets stressed out, she would become harmful and blame
everything in the universe if there's something negative happening in
her life.

Speaker 5 (01:17):
Hm, I know people like this.

Speaker 3 (01:19):
Yeah, her bad side has gotten progressively worse since college.
I could write a whole book about Lucy, but I'll
spare you the details because it's not.

Speaker 4 (01:27):
Directly related to the advice.

Speaker 3 (01:29):
I'm trying to get over the last couple of an
undisclosed period of time.

Speaker 5 (01:34):
I'm gonna give it eight months.

Speaker 4 (01:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:37):
Over the last couple of eons, each of the people
in our friend group have cut contact with her, and
I think I was probably the last one to still
respond to her. Every conversation I have with her goes
in circles, and she ends up back in a state
of anger and frustration, and I usually hang up when she.

Speaker 4 (01:52):
Hurls verbal insults at me.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
I met my husband twenty seven mail about three years ago,
and he has always been incredibly supportive of me. I
invented to him many times about Lucy because interactions with
her always leave me feeling emotionally drained and feeling like
I'm going crazy. He has encouraged me many times to
cut contact with her because it's not worth setting yourself
on fire to keep her warm.

Speaker 5 (02:17):
Far that's a good one. I like that.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
So earlier this month, I blocked Lucy. I blocked Lucy.
That's my favorite old TV show. Earlier today, I ran
into Lucy at the grocery store and she confronted me
about why I haven't been responding to her. She starts, yeah,
she started screaming. So I left the grocery store and
went home. But as I was pulling into my apartment
parking lot, I see a car speeding towards me. Sure enough,

(02:42):
it was Lucy's car. I think she was aiming for me,
but I steered the car away, so she ended up
crashing into the rear door behind me and destroying both
our cars. Versus wild though, your buddy Lucy just did
have tried to do a vehicular man on you.

Speaker 5 (03:03):
Right now, Joe, I don't even think about that.

Speaker 4 (03:05):
Yeah, no, that you could sue. No, like she needs
to be in jail. She needs to go to prison
for that. That kind of person can't just be wandering.

Speaker 5 (03:15):
Around aiming their car at you.

Speaker 4 (03:18):
Before I was able to.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
Compose myself after the crash, she drove off with the
front part of her car missing.

Speaker 4 (03:25):
I called the police and told them everything. Thankfully, I
am uninjured.

Speaker 3 (03:29):
All afternoon, I've been calling insurance and trying to look
for options to get the car fixed. Nothing is finalized yet,
but the insurance agent said, judging by the pictures, he's
not optimistic that it's fixable or worth fixing. I know
I need to tell my husband, But how do I
tell him the car that he's been saving up for
for years and then spending months waiting for to arrive
is damaged beyond repair, Especially because I feel partially responsible

(03:52):
since in hindsight, I realized I should have cut contact
with Lucy years ago.

Speaker 4 (03:56):
How could you possibly feel responsible for this?

Speaker 3 (03:58):
You're insane, lunatic friend literally tried to to literate you.

Speaker 4 (04:05):
With an automobile.

Speaker 5 (04:06):
You were gonna You're gonna be turtle soup if you
didn't move. If he's got insurance, then it should be fine. Yeah,
insurance companies can't just be like, I can't do nothing
about that. Yeah, they can't. They can't do that. They
gotta do something about that.

Speaker 4 (04:21):
If you were Yeah.

Speaker 6 (04:23):
I don't know.

Speaker 7 (04:23):
My insurance is pretty good. They sent like a guy
and they're like, yeah, this is total, Like this is
not salvageable. This car is totaled. You're gonna get your
money's worth. And I said, just call your insurance.

Speaker 6 (04:34):
You'd be fine.

Speaker 5 (04:35):
Yeah, I mean not on you. Like, she's just scared
right now, she just doesn't know how to get the
words together.

Speaker 4 (04:41):
Yeah, you just gotta tell your boyfriend that someone tried
to unalive you today. Lead with that first lead with
I am the victim of here, I am all.

Speaker 5 (04:52):
Here we go, babe. I was almost alive today. And
if it wasn't for your car.

Speaker 7 (04:59):
You saved my And you know what that means. You're
priceless or I'm priceless, okay, prices.

Speaker 5 (05:05):
If you frame it like that, I think you'll be fine.

Speaker 3 (05:07):
A part of me knows that outwardly, he'll brush it
off and say that he's just happy I'm safe and
that objects can be replaced. But I'm scared that he'll
present me Oh so he's actually already a good guy
and go come on, Oh, come on.

Speaker 4 (05:20):
He loves this car.

Speaker 3 (05:21):
He has a strong sentimental attachment to it because it's
his first car, and he's even given it a cute nickname,
like a pet. We joke about how it's like his
firstborn child. We don't have any kids yet.

Speaker 4 (05:33):
And it's the holidays.

Speaker 3 (05:34):
What kind of crap holiday present is it to find
out that your brand new car that you got two
weeks ago got totaled.

Speaker 4 (05:40):
I've tried looking.

Speaker 3 (05:41):
At ways to buy him a new one, but I
obviously can't make such a big financial decision without discussing
it together. And the other problem is current delivery times
for this car is ten plus months.

Speaker 4 (05:50):
It's a tesla for anyone wondering why it takes so long?

Speaker 5 (05:53):
Oh, I see no, it's.

Speaker 3 (05:56):
All the best we could buy used, but used prices
are even higher than new, and the used cars have
twenty thousand plus miles on them. He's on a business
trip right now and we'll be coming back on Friday
for the holidays.

Speaker 6 (06:09):
Happy holidays, surprise.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
I'm struggling between deciding to tell him now or telling
him in person when he gets back. What words can
I even use to tell him? And there are some
relevant comments here.

Speaker 5 (06:21):
You tell him right now. Yeah, you say I almost
passed away, Yeah, and your car saved me.

Speaker 6 (06:27):
Yeah. I would like why have him come home and
surprise him with all of this?

Speaker 5 (06:31):
Yeah, no, they'll do that.

Speaker 6 (06:32):
Yeah, I would tell him right now.

Speaker 4 (06:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
Relevant comments DEV two four six has has Lucy been arrested?

Speaker 4 (06:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (06:39):
Asking the relevant questions, it sounds like you need a
restraining order, Opie says. The police arrested her and called
me to let me know about an hour later. Apparently
it wasn't too hard because she was at home and
the front part of her car was missing. My sweet
Summer sixteen says, Then, honestly, just call your husband and
tell him to start off with I'm okay, but unfortunately

(07:01):
this psycho literally rammed her car into yours. I've already
called the insurance company. She's been rested, blah blah blah.
It's a car, it wasn't your life. So hopefully he's
a bit considerate and understanding. Chryssier says, Yep, I don't
understand why Op's apprehensive about telling this to your husband
when a psycho just literally tried to get her. If

(07:24):
the husband actually does get upset at her. That should
tell you where his priorities lie. And there's an update
from five days later.

Speaker 5 (07:31):
Like I said, good test.

Speaker 4 (07:32):
Yes, that's what we all. It's all about the test.

Speaker 3 (07:34):
I posted earlier this week to ask for advice about
how to tell my husband his new car got totaled
when the ex friend that I cut off earlier this
month rammed into me. I appreciate everyone taking the time
to give me advice. I wasn't thinking clearly, and it
was really helpful to get some online strangers to talk
some sense into me. In hindsight, I was too hyper
focused on the car, and I didn't really fully process

(07:56):
the fact that someone I've known for seven plus years.

Speaker 4 (07:58):
Almost actually he unlived me.

Speaker 3 (08:01):
As for breaking the news to my husband, that didn't
turn out quite the way I expected.

Speaker 4 (08:06):
I knew that I had to tell.

Speaker 3 (08:07):
Him as soon as possible, and I was trying to
figure out the best way to phrase it. About twenty
minutes after I made my post, he actually called me
in a panic because he was afraid I was in
a coma, in the hospital or something. Turns out, his
Desla in the phone app has a lot more bells
and whistles than I knew about it sent him notifications
and videos from the car's cameras about the crash, but
he didn't see them until the evening. His company has

(08:29):
a strict policy about only company issued phones being allowed
to be turned on while in the tech center office,
so when he finished work and pulled out his personal phone,
he was greeted by multiple notifications that a crash had
occurred and links to the videos. Since by that point
it had been many hours since the crash, he was
terrified that I had been seriously injured. At first, he
was incredibly upset with me for not calling him immediately

(08:51):
on his work phone. After I apologized profusely and explained
the whole story, his frustration turned to concern, and he
insisted I go see a doctor to get a full physical,
even though I felt fine. He then got the first
flight he could find the next morning, and he's been
spending the last few days with me and taking his
work meetings remotely. I've apologized a couple times for not

(09:11):
cutting my ex friend Lucy off earlier before my husband
came into my life, which is a crazy.

Speaker 4 (09:16):
Thing to apologize for.

Speaker 3 (09:17):
You can't apologize for somebody being an uneashed maniac ran their.

Speaker 4 (09:20):
Car into yours.

Speaker 5 (09:22):
There's nothing to do with cutting off a friend, and
that was in the past. Girl, You're good, it happens.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
I've apologized for the loss of his car, but each
time he just brushes it off and says something that
melts my heart, like.

Speaker 4 (09:33):
Well, I'm just happy that the car did its job
and protected.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
You from lucy or a car is a thing and
things are replaceable and you are not.

Speaker 4 (09:41):
Ah, but you are my loomest thing, you know, I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (09:45):
Ew.

Speaker 4 (09:46):
He didn't say that part, but maybe he should have.
That was kind of the vibe though maybe he should
have said that something to think about.

Speaker 3 (09:53):
The insurance paperwork still isn't finalized yet, but it's looking
increasingly likely that the car will be a total loss.
I think my husband and placed in order or at
least too seriously contemplating placing.

Speaker 4 (10:02):
A new order for a new car.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
We'll probably have to wait ten to twelve months to
get it, but in the meantime we still have my
car to drive and we'll figure something out. My husband
also wants us to do some marriage counseling because he
says I have a tendency to avoid or push off
difficult conversations. After this week, I realize he's probably right,
so we'll be exploring that early next year. As for me,
I'm glad I escaped the crash mostly unscathed. I got

(10:27):
an urgent care appointment for the next day, and the
doctor concluded there wasn't anything seriously wrong with me, but
recommended I get a more comprehensive check from my primary
care physician next week. Two of my teeth have been
hurting since Tuesday, and I'm not sure if it's related
to the crash. My husband suspects I might have bitten
down too hard on my teeth as I was bracing
myself for the crash and cracked something, but I made

(10:49):
an appointment with the dentist next week to check. In
my original post, I didn't say much about what happened
with Lucy after the crash because the post was already
getting long and it wasn't directly relevant to the advice
I was seeking.

Speaker 4 (11:00):
But the police arrested her soon after the crash and
called me to let me know.

Speaker 5 (11:04):
All right.

Speaker 3 (11:04):
It was very easy because they found her at home
with the address I gave them, and the front section
of her car was missing, and they asked her if
she had been in an accident earlier that morning, and
she told them a harrowing tale about how she barely
escaped a violent motorcycle gang.

Speaker 5 (11:20):
Well they called them a gang, not a club. She's
so out of touch here, what did she think?

Speaker 4 (11:26):
She just on the spot started freestyling.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
She's like, yeah, I was on the highway and then
a dozen men in leather jackets surrounded my car and
then they all they all took out metal pipes and
they and they destroyed my front bumper.

Speaker 5 (11:42):
They you know, like a motorcycle gang from like Power
Rangers or something. Yeah, it was like if a motorcycle
game was actually coming from you. They're not gonna do
it at like, you know, a grocery store. They're gonna
wait till you go home.

Speaker 3 (11:52):
Yeah, And I don't think they're just gonna go after
your front bumper, you know. I think I think they're
more they're gonna take a tire. Well, yeah, they're gonna
they're gonna they're leaving there with something. Yeah, maybe that's
what she said they left with. They stole the front bumper.
It's a very lucrative underground black market front bumper.

Speaker 5 (12:11):
What you know, I'll give her one star out of
five for creativity.

Speaker 4 (12:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:16):
When the police asked her why she didn't report this
or seek assistance from emergency responders, she looked like a
gobsmacked goldfish that was in quotes. By the way, this
was all told to me by the detective assigned to
my case.

Speaker 4 (12:30):
I did not witness the arrest myself.

Speaker 3 (12:33):
I've been in contact with the other people from my
college friend group that also knew Lucy, and they all
expressed a mixture of sympathy, mild surprise, and appreciation for
me giving them the heads up.

Speaker 4 (12:42):
M mild surprise.

Speaker 3 (12:44):
One of my friends actually had a situation a couple
of years ago where Lucy threatened to hurt my friend's dog,
Jail after she cut contact with Lucy, but nothing ended
up happening, so they forgot about it and moved on
with their lives. My husband and I are searching for
lawyers to help us with filing and restraining order, as
well is exploring other possible legal actions, but we haven't
gotten many replies back yet. Because it's the holiday is

(13:07):
it's the holiday season?

Speaker 4 (13:10):
No one, Okay.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
I doubt it'll be worth the time and money to
sue Lucy for damages, but it's an option we're considering.
The attorneys that we have had preliminary consultations with so
far have all advised us not to speak to Lucy
directly or speak too much about the situation publicly aside
from basic facts while there's pending litigation or legal considerations,

(13:32):
so I won't be posting any more about her in
the foreseeable future. Long story short, we're overall doing pretty well.
The craziness is settled down a bit, and my husband
and I are sticking to our planned holiday festivities. Thanks
again for everyone's input and Happy a Holidays.

Speaker 5 (13:51):
Yeah, I don't talk to Lucy anymore.

Speaker 4 (13:53):
We've got some final comments here.

Speaker 3 (13:55):
Oh gosse Agentox says a violent motorcycle gang Lucy doesn't
strike me as being the best liar.

Speaker 4 (14:04):
Huh.

Speaker 3 (14:05):
As for your teeth, I think your husband's suspicions you're
probably right. I was in a car accident a couple
of years ago where I was rear ended. I ended
up with some tooth pain, so I went to the dentist.
Her first question was, did you see the car coming
towards you? Apparently it's common for people to damage their
teeth by biting down too hard while bracing themselves for
an incoming hit.

Speaker 4 (14:23):
Opie says, the strange thing is she was actually a
very good liar. Back in college.

Speaker 3 (14:28):
Our entire friend group bought into her sad stories about
her childhood, hook Line and Sinker. It wasn't until years
later that we realized she had lied about a lot
of things and everything unraveled.

Speaker 4 (14:38):
But maybe we were all just too naive. That's what
I was gonna say. And that's the end of that story.

Speaker 5 (14:44):
Yeah, building is like lies that are that are building
are like jingle blocks. They're gonna they're gonna fall in dead.

Speaker 4 (14:51):
Yeah, if she was a good liar, her lies wouldn't
have crumbled.

Speaker 8 (14:54):
And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go
on to the next one.

Speaker 5 (14:58):
I'm jealous of my husband's new friend because she's all
he talks about. Maybe she's just better than you in
every way. I thirty one email, love my husband thirty
four mail. And we've been together for nine years, married
for six and I have been through a lot together.
He has never given me a single reason to think
he would stray away from our relationship physically or emotionally.

(15:21):
He's an amazing father and very equally shares the household load.
We have a lot of up and downs like most people,
but generally we are a solid couple and always come
back to each other after disagreement, up and down, coming.

Speaker 6 (15:35):
Back to each other and sharing their load amazing.

Speaker 5 (15:37):
By the way, this comes from leather Set seventy three
And if you have to make your own stories, go
to the our slash okay story's up subreddit. I'm Riley Ay.

Speaker 4 (15:44):
I'm Dakota, Hi, I'm Keon, and we're here.

Speaker 5 (15:47):
To give good vice goofully, but we don't have any answers.
Do We have a little bit of some so let
us know what you would do in a comments down below.
Now on to the issue. Oh oh, he's recently embarked
on his mash degree. He is one of only two
men in his cohort of approximately eighty people. That's a
crazy ratio, and the only guy of our culture. We're

(16:10):
in our home country. The course and the university is
just incredibly multi cultured. As such, he has made a
lot of new female friends, most of whom don't bother
me at all. But there's this one thirties female. I
think that I just don't like his friendship with and
I know I'm being unreasonable. They text all the time,

(16:30):
like multiple times a day. Mind you. He isn't secretive
about this at all. He doesn't hide his phone or
anything like that. I can see her name at the
top of his screen. He talks about her all the time,
how she's so nice and all the cool things she's done.
He also spends a lot of time with her. They

(16:51):
have just decided to collaborate on a research project together
for a conference in twenty twenty six, and as such
they will likely be spending either more time together. Oh no,
recipe for a disaster, low key. Frankly, I'm sick of
hearing about how nice and amazing this other woman is.
She's also annoyed the heck out of him at times,

(17:13):
like blowing like hot and cold at him when she
has perceived Like what.

Speaker 4 (17:19):
No way, dude.

Speaker 3 (17:19):
If you got like a friend, a lady friend, and
she's doing hot and cold on you as friends, Nah,
that's gross.

Speaker 4 (17:25):
Yeah, this is that's weird.

Speaker 3 (17:26):
She's trying to like, that's that's girlfriend territory. I'm not
dealing with hot and cold unless my girlfriend.

Speaker 4 (17:33):
Yeah, it's like, that's come on what are we doing?

Speaker 5 (17:37):
Blowing like hot and cold at him when she has
perceived he has done something wrong, though it's probably cultural
differences that triggers this, and he'll talk about this too.
It's like watching someone discuss the beginnings of a relationship,
the euphoria of dating someone new, plus all the baggage
they come with as they work through it, which is
a weird thing to watch your husband go through. I

(17:58):
don't believe it's anything more than I have described above
when I said I didn't think it was appropriate for
him to be messaging her as frequently as he has been,
and if the shoe was on the other foot, does
he really think he would be okay with me messaging
a man as frequently? And he offered to let me
read all their messages, which I didn't, So I really

(18:21):
don't think he's hiding anything. I obviously don't want him
to start being secretive about it, so I said I
would drop it. I just feel annoyed and jealous, like
every time I see her name pop up on his phone.
I don't even think he's physically attracted to her. We
have great, spicy sleep life, and this is not something
I feel insecure about lies.

Speaker 4 (18:42):
I detect lie. You don't feel insecure.

Speaker 3 (18:44):
Weren't insecure about it, you wouldn't be making this.

Speaker 4 (18:48):
Tell them it's okay, that's.

Speaker 5 (18:50):
You, that's that's no.

Speaker 4 (18:52):
You gotta just go to your part and be like,
I feel like you're gonna leave me for that lady.
And that isn't necessarily.

Speaker 3 (18:59):
Your fault or hers or even mine, but it just
means we have things to discuss.

Speaker 5 (19:04):
I guess she's shiny and new and interesting, and they
have a lot in common. I think I'm insecure about
not being interesting enough for him, and maybe sometimes feel
like he'd rather talk to.

Speaker 4 (19:14):
Her than me.

Speaker 5 (19:16):
I'm not used to him having female friends, so he
used to have many when he was younger, and I'm
finding this new dynamic really difficult. Any advice as to
how I can just get over it and accept this
new friendship as it is? And we have some comments,
I say.

Speaker 4 (19:33):
Duel, duel, good old fashioned duel.

Speaker 5 (19:36):
You guys can pick the weapon, but yeah, duel.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
Yeah, I think you guys should duel with curling irons.
You just had to burn eat that.

Speaker 4 (19:47):
No, I like, honestly, honestly, I.

Speaker 3 (19:51):
Think you just need to go to your your your
your partner and be like, you're not gonna leave me
for her, Right, You're not gonna write because that's what
that's I'm at.

Speaker 4 (20:01):
Like, you guys are studying the same thing.

Speaker 3 (20:03):
You guys, she's so cool, you're not gonna leave her
for you can leave me for her, right, Yeah, you
tell me that.

Speaker 4 (20:11):
Right, You're not gonna do that.

Speaker 8 (20:13):
Right.

Speaker 5 (20:13):
Oh, that'd be awkward, right, hope not comment. Sounds like
your fear is that she's becoming emotionally stimulating in a
way that you're not. So the solution is not to
restrict him from being her friend, is to reignite the
spark in your marriage. You don't need to go into
competition with her, but your feelings warrant a deeper discussion

(20:35):
with him about your emotional experience and what will help
you feel secure at the end of the day, I'm
spent with a friend, texting, phone calls in person shouldn't
exceed time invested in your relationship. If you're not already
doing this, start dating again. Sometimes we get stuck in
our daily routines, so initiate experiences together, like trying a

(20:56):
new restaurant, class trip, Bobby Parvel, intention connection time where
you're not discussing logistics or children. Great rituals like weekly
check ins, Friday night wine and music at home or
out Sunday morning coffee walks together or with the kids.
If he ever becomes resistant to this in favor of
spending time with her, or he's constantly distracted by her

(21:19):
during your time, then I'd start worrying. It doesn't sound
like your marriage is threatened at this point, especially if
he's being transparent, as there's still affection between you two,
but the relationship could benefit from infusing some fresh energy
since he's getting a ton from school. No P replies,
this is really good advice. Thank you. We've tried to
do a bit more dating in recent months, as we

(21:41):
both acknowledge how it's easy to just sort of forget
about one another with how busy we both are and
with kids. Trying to make it more of a regular
thing probably is in order. Though we do have a
going out date books in a couple of weeks babysitter
and Everything Loo, and we actually went out during the
day a couple of weeks ago as well, so it

(22:03):
is there, but could definitely be more frequent. Thank you.
Update twenty three days later, love that movie Divorce Michael Jordan.

Speaker 4 (22:13):
The owning is divorce. O'clock, dude, I think the divorce.
I just look. I see some weird comments people. Somebody said.

Speaker 3 (22:22):
Somebody said something along the lines of, like I understand
having female friends before you're married, but like, how could
you do it after you're married?

Speaker 4 (22:29):
Like why?

Speaker 2 (22:30):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (22:30):
It's like what I mean, guys, I'm joking, Like women
don't cease to exist once you.

Speaker 4 (22:34):
Are in a relationship.

Speaker 5 (22:35):
I was a little worried, you know, like, uh, and.

Speaker 3 (22:39):
He's in his doctorate programmers master's program, like seventy eight
of his eighty classmates are women. So it's like you're
just gonna like not talk to or bond with any
of his classmates.

Speaker 4 (22:51):
You can be proudly possible, he has to You can
do that. You can be friends with lady and be
and be dedicated to your lady. You know.

Speaker 5 (23:00):
Yeah, I am more friends with girls that I had
before I dated Angie. But I don't know, I don't
like going one on one out with girls that are
my friends. Un this is like Sophia, that's the only
like girl I would go hang out.

Speaker 4 (23:11):
I'm not gonna take her on a dinner date.

Speaker 3 (23:14):
But it's like, that's you know, I don't think that's
what he's doing at all, you know.

Speaker 5 (23:19):
Anyways, we have an update twenty three days later. This
is not going to be a long update and we'll
probably not be that exciting or interesting, but some people
want an update for my last post. Thank you. We
are those people. My husband and I discussed his new
friend a couple of times, and he understood where I
was coming from. What was a bit hurt because he's

(23:41):
never done anything on our relationship to suggest he might
ever be unfaithful.

Speaker 4 (23:46):
Right.

Speaker 5 (23:46):
I don't think she was saying that. She was just
kind of a little uncomfortab about y'all's friendship. That's it.
I believed him when we talked about it. But he
thought it would be better if I could just meet
her and try to understand a bit better. And I agreed,
Oh wow, we're gonna have dinner together. Ah half I Oh,
it's a caffine.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
Sounds like, I mean, hey, maybe you guys become best friends.
Simple solution, Simple solution, You guys are now best friends.

Speaker 5 (24:11):
Wholla, and then y'all get together and leave him sligh.
We had a few friends over for his birthday last
night and she came. The birthday gift she got him
was a picture of my whole family, me, hubs and
the kids and even the dog that she made herself digital.
She's a bit of a graphic designer on a linebox.
It's really beautiful and I think it's a lovely president

(24:33):
because it includes me and the kids. She was incredibly
respectful all night. We actually have a bare mounta in
common with some shared interests and shared experiences. We both
have been scuba diving and are interested in marine conservation
and are interested in SpongeBob SquarePants. She just seems generally

(24:55):
very nice, not fake at all, and her being around
very akin to my husband's other female friend that we
also had over as well. All that to say, I
am no longer concerned about anything dodgy developing in her
and my husband, and certainly don't think anything on tour
it has happened as.

Speaker 4 (25:14):
Yet, no nailed it.

Speaker 5 (25:16):
Oh. Also, I caught a glimpse of their messages this morning,
and she was messaged him about how nice I seemed,
and he was talking about how cool I am. That
wasn't performative because he didn't tell me about it. It
was just a part of their conversation they were having,
the rest of which was about the Japanese curry my
husband made last night. I don't know. I'm sure Reddit
will tell me I'm being stupid or naive, but it

(25:38):
just feels very innocent now that I've actually met her.

Speaker 4 (25:40):
Well that's a yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:41):
The thing in that is like once you become like
threatened by someone else, like with it when it's like
a friendship, Yeah, your partner has like now you're like
hyper aware and you're gonna see every interaction that they have,
Like even if it's not anything, it's now going to
be like, oh, well that's all the time.

Speaker 4 (26:03):
That was telling from the very beginning.

Speaker 3 (26:04):
You station he texts her all day and then it's
like multiple times a day.

Speaker 4 (26:09):
It's like those are completely different.

Speaker 5 (26:12):
Like using the word all the time or never, it's
those are dangerous words.

Speaker 3 (26:17):
Yeah, because it's like, I mean, how could you Like,
I'm breathing all the time, and unless I'm swimming, so
even that's not true.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
Sometimes I hold my breath because.

Speaker 5 (26:28):
You shower too, you have to hold your breath? What new?
What do you mean? Because the water will get in
your nose if you don't hold your breath under the water.

Speaker 4 (26:37):
You hold your breath when you shower.

Speaker 8 (26:39):
Yeah, and that's the end of this story. We're gonna
go on to the next one.

Speaker 3 (26:43):
I discovered my husband's messages where he said he regrets
marrying me.

Speaker 5 (26:49):
Or maybe he just regrets it.

Speaker 4 (26:50):
Yeah, maybe he was a typo.

Speaker 3 (26:52):
I'm six months pregnant and got married a few months ago.
In every relationship I've been in, I've made it very
clear that my mom will live with me until she
passes away. She is very, very ill and I've been
taking care of her for years. She's still my best
friend and I love her very much. I wouldn't change
that for the world. And by the way, this comes
from user direct Anonymous two three six And if you

(27:14):
want to submit your own stories, go to the r.

Speaker 4 (27:15):
Slash showcase story time subberd it where this story was submitted.
I'm Dakota, I'm Riley, I'm Keon, and we're here to.

Speaker 3 (27:21):
Give good advice. But we're a goofy, We're a goofball.
You don't know everything well, you know by that and
if you know anything else to add on to that,
then then you can you can tell us in the comments.

Speaker 5 (27:33):
Please, we'll read them.

Speaker 3 (27:34):
And op says, a couple of weeks ago, I went
through my husband's phone. I wasn't expecting to find cheating
or anything like that. I was just up late and
bored before anyone says anything.

Speaker 4 (27:46):
I ask my husband all the.

Speaker 3 (27:47):
Time if there's anything I can work on or do better,
and I genuinely try to communicate to make sure we're
on the same page. I always get the same answer,
that I'm perfect and he's happy. Maybe he has avoidant
attachment style. I've decided to search my name in his
messages and found a ton of them. At first, I
thought they were all from before we got married. I

(28:08):
was very wrong. They were from the night before. He
was telling a female coworker that he was second guessing
the marriage and asking if he was in over his head,
along with other things like that what He also said
that he hates my mom and that he's stuck with
her until she croaks, and that there are a lot

(28:29):
of other pretty girls out there.

Speaker 7 (28:31):
Oh my gosh, yo, boil boy, this is not good.

Speaker 3 (28:37):
How long do you have to be married until you're
entitled to his assets? Oh wow, No, I'm just thinking
like you have a kid, de raise and you have
your mom to take care of if you're in a divorce,
this guy.

Speaker 4 (28:48):
You're leaving with something.

Speaker 3 (28:50):
You know, If he's talking to his coworker about this,
then he can also talk to his coworker about how
he's gonna have to borrow money from her because he
needs to pay you.

Speaker 4 (29:00):
Okay, d what the heck?

Speaker 5 (29:02):
And you didn't suspect this at all either? That's crazy.

Speaker 3 (29:06):
I'm sorry, op bless this girl's heart because she was
basically like, what the f? She didn't even know we
were already married. He told her that we were though.
Then I remember that he writes down his feelings sometimes,
so I checked his notes app and there was a
note written as if it was to someone, saying things like.

Speaker 4 (29:26):
What if it was supposed to be her all along?
Oh oh no.

Speaker 3 (29:30):
I later found out it was about someone he used
to go to school with. This is all written very rushed,
but I truly don't know what to do. I did
confront him about it, and he said things like it
was just an in the moment feeling and that he
doesn't actually feel that.

Speaker 5 (29:44):
Way, oh my gosh.

Speaker 3 (29:46):
Which like can be true, but like, dude, like that's
just like a like how can you You can't.

Speaker 4 (29:53):
How are you gonna write stuff like that?

Speaker 5 (29:54):
You can just say that you can't voice that coworker.

Speaker 3 (29:57):
Yeah, you can't voice that to a female cowork You
spent like all a bunch of time with all the time,
and then you have this other note.

Speaker 4 (30:03):
Where you're like, maybe this other person was the one.

Speaker 3 (30:05):
It's like, all right, well then why are we getting
Why do we get married?

Speaker 4 (30:09):
What is wrong with you this? Yeah? And to be fair, also,
this is all stuff that's suposed to happen before you
get married. These are all thoughts you have to think
and work through before marriage.

Speaker 6 (30:18):
Yeah, and I don't know, also having a kid.

Speaker 4 (30:22):
Yeah, I'm not even kidding.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
Figure out exactly whatever, whatever amount of time you have
to stay with this thing to like be entitled to
his money, do that and then and then begone. I
feel like I'm not getting the answers I need to
either move on or move forward. I'm extremely protective of
my mom, and I don't understand how he could say
something like that about her. I'm just very confused about
what to do and where to go. He never seemed different,

(30:46):
and of course every marriage has problems, but he genuinely
seemed happy. There was no slowdown in our spicy sleep
life at all. I found out while reading the messages
that he even tried to initiate right after texting all
of those things. Everything seemed so normal, and I'm so
confused about how he could be having these thoughts while
acting the same way towards me. I'm hurt and can't

(31:07):
stop thinking about it. But he's been acting completely normal
even after I talked to him about it.

Speaker 4 (31:12):
Any advice would be highly appreciated. We have some comments.

Speaker 3 (31:15):
COMI one, I advise you to go to couples counseling.
You must have known you would find what you did
and probably left it as a plant because he doesn't
know how to confront you directly. You two are about
to have a child, and he might be getting freaked
out with cold feet.

Speaker 7 (31:28):
I don't know this that like that's some really intense stuff.
There's a difference to your like cold feet and like
some waiting for your waiting for my in law to.

Speaker 6 (31:39):
Croak is.

Speaker 3 (31:41):
Yeah, no, Like it's the and the fact that he
could say all that and then immediately like go to
you like nothing's wrong, and then try to initiate like
this is sposset times.

Speaker 4 (31:49):
None of your people is so disturbing, it's just crazy.
It's just good.

Speaker 3 (31:53):
And the masking is so high level, it's like even
if you guys do go to counseling, it's like he'll
probably just continue to lie, to mask and lie, not
really get to anything that's real. I don't know take
all his money, Opie says. I don't think he would
have known, because I've never gone through his phone before.
I've never had any reason to comment. Two says, I
hardly know what to say to you. How did you
broach this with him? What did he say? Ope says

(32:16):
I was trying not to cry and he could probably tell.
And I just told him, like step by step, everything
I knew and how it hurt me. And we had
an extremely long talk about it, and he was reassuring
the whole time that he wanted to be with me
and only me. But it was so confusing for me
because the messages and the conversation were only two days apart.
So I don't even know how to tell how he
really feels.

Speaker 4 (32:37):
And there's a net it. My mom is fifty, which
is kind of young.

Speaker 3 (32:40):
For her health problems. She had a heart attack a
few years ago. She also has a crooked spine, problems
with her legs going numb and giving out, craves, disease,
and many other issues. On top of that, she takes
a ton of medication. We've been fighting with disability for
the last three years and finally had a court date
and now we're waiting for an answer. The medical doctor
helping with dis is completely on her side and doesn't

(33:01):
think she would be capable of any type of work.

Speaker 4 (33:04):
My husband and I both work twelve hour shifts, so
she does what she can. For our house.

Speaker 3 (33:08):
It's not always perfectly clean, but we don't live in
a magazine. We always have a hot meal ready when
we get home from work. She helps in every way
she can. She does our laundry once a week because honestly,
we're exhausted and always have something to do on our
days off.

Speaker 4 (33:23):
I love my mom.

Speaker 3 (33:24):
She's my best friend, and I'm so grateful for everything
she does. My husband and I have only been together
a little over a year, which is a very short time.
Our relationship progressed extremely quickly. It sort of informs how
he could be thinking or saying all this stuff.

Speaker 5 (33:40):
Have some regrets happen so quick.

Speaker 4 (33:43):
But it's still like, it's just so insane.

Speaker 5 (33:47):
Yeah, to put yourself in this business way he's.

Speaker 4 (33:49):
Doing it is insane. I'm currently six months pregnant.

Speaker 3 (33:53):
Our relationship started out very rocky, not from fighting, but
because he was still in a lease with his ex.
When she said jump, he jumped. She lived forty five
minutes away. He moved in with me right away because
of their rocky relationship. It started as him staying the
night and then he just never left. Oh girls, sounds
so bad. For the first five months, he didn't pay rent,

(34:14):
help clean, or really do anything at all. So for
half of your relationship he did nothing and was just
a burden. Okay, We financially supported him during that time.
After he finally broke the lease with her, things slowly
got better. We ended up moving houses and now we
split things fifty to fifty other than personal bills. We
got married about three months ago. Here's a breakdown of

(34:36):
everything he said, my feelings about it, and his response
when I asked him first, he said, he hates my mom,
thinks she's a leech, and that he's stuck with her
until she croaks. So that's gonna be hard to work
through and I'll just put that.

Speaker 6 (34:50):
That's the first thing. By the way, that's the first thing.

Speaker 5 (34:53):
Yeah, those were mean words.

Speaker 4 (34:54):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yea yea ye.

Speaker 3 (34:56):
I love my mom and I made it clear from
the beginning that she would be with me until the
day she passes away. I would never change that for anyone.
I understand that he may not understand my relationship with her,
but she truly is my best friend. She goes above
and beyond for us, and she does not have to
do any of it. That's the other thing that really
gets me is it's not like your mom is like

(35:17):
a like a mean, difficult person that can help out
of like the kindness of your heart. Your mom just
sounds like a good person who's like got a crazy
bad hand of like you know, illnesses and it is
basically disabled, is fighting particibility. And and he lived in

(35:38):
her house for free for five months with you this guy,
this guy, this guy.

Speaker 5 (35:44):
No no no, no, no, no, no, he doesn't get it.

Speaker 3 (35:47):
And this is why you deserve you stay with him
until you get all that money, whatever it is the
arrangement is.

Speaker 5 (35:52):
And if there is no arrangement, you get whatever you
get right now, whatever, Leave him. I don't know he's
calling her least just what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (36:00):
Come on, I don't know how I'm supposed to get
over him saying something like that about someone so important
to me.

Speaker 4 (36:05):
You're not You're not supposed to get over that.

Speaker 3 (36:08):
Second, he said he's second guessing the marriage and that
there are other pretty girls out there. I could understand
pre wedding jitters, but this was after we were already married.
It makes me wonder if he wants a divorce or
wants to move out. This is the part that confuses
me the most. Every time he calls me pretty. Now
I question everything. I feel like I've changed my entire
life for him, and he has been the most important

(36:29):
thing to me. I question whether he even finds me attractive.
I question what this means for our child. I don't
understand how he could act so normal towards me without
me feeling anything off at all. He even initiated zuspasosly
right after sending those texts.

Speaker 4 (36:44):
I keep questioning what's real and what's not.

Speaker 3 (36:47):
When I asked him about this, he said it was
pre wedding jitters that happened just after we got married,
and that.

Speaker 4 (36:51):
He wants to be with me for the rest of
his life, which is great. Those are great words, Those
are perfect words to say.

Speaker 5 (36:56):
Pre wedding jitters.

Speaker 3 (36:58):
You can't call the pre wedding jitters. And you did
it months after you got married. Yeah, that's called post
wedding jitters.

Speaker 5 (37:04):
Yeah, that is the technical term. You're right.

Speaker 3 (37:06):
Third, there was a note in his phone that I've
debated posting a screenshot of.

Speaker 4 (37:10):
There are multiple notes.

Speaker 3 (37:11):
In one, he said he's starting to think it was
supposed to be her all along, and that he wishes
she had told him sooner, and that he's starting to
feel a small spark.

Speaker 4 (37:19):
This was not about his ex. It was about an
old friend from high school.

Speaker 3 (37:23):
Him and this person had never had anything before, but
they started catching up and she told him she used
to have a crush on him.

Speaker 4 (37:28):
Oh, used used pathetic.

Speaker 3 (37:30):
He said it made him start thinking about what ifs,
and that he doesn't feel that way anymore. He said
it was just an in the moment feeling dude, like
it is divorce o'clock.

Speaker 4 (37:40):
Yeah, but only once the bag has been secured.

Speaker 5 (37:43):
Yeah, you could definitely get like child payments like all
those Yeah, I mean, child support is one thing, but
that one would like, he'll be paying that regardless.

Speaker 4 (37:53):
Yeah, I don't know figure out exactly how to get
the money right.

Speaker 5 (37:57):
And the way he's like been lying, you can just tell.
That's how we went around this relationship the whole time.
And this is this is the type of person he
is an Ope. You gotta sit down and ask yourself
if this happened to a friend of mine, what would
I say? And whatever you say and the advice you
would give to you, a friend should implement that to
your own relationship.

Speaker 6 (38:15):
The friend test and OPI is one of us.

Speaker 5 (38:18):
Mm hmm, oh wow, you are one of us. That's right.
You deserve more OP and you're special and valued.

Speaker 4 (38:25):
Let's finish this.

Speaker 3 (38:26):
I didn't include ages originally because I've seen people react
differently based on age and I didn't want biased opinions.
We're both twenty one. The pregnancy was unplanned, but we
were both extremely excited. I've lived a lot of life
in a short.

Speaker 5 (38:39):
Amount of time.

Speaker 3 (38:40):
I've struggled, but it made me grow up fast. I've
been working since I was fifteen and supporting myself. My
childhood wasn't the best and I didn't always have my mom,
but she made her amends and fought hard to do
right by me. After talking to him, I still don't
feel like I got the answers I was looking for.
He always gives me the same I'm perfect answers, and
I'm tired of hearing that when this is what he's

(39:01):
telling other people. I don't know how to approach the
topic again. I don't know if I should even bring
it up because I feel like it will be the
same conversation with the same answers. I'm hurting, confused and exhausted.
Please help me understand what to do, where to go
from here?

Speaker 6 (39:15):
Yeah? I want to. I want to believe this man
for anything he says.

Speaker 3 (39:19):
No, zero percent, yeah, like it's always honestly, it's it's
it sounds backwards, but like if you can't see any
flaws in your partner, like that's a red flag on you.

Speaker 4 (39:31):
Everybody has flaws. Everyone could have. She has has things
where you're like, oh, yeah, well that isn't my favorite thing.

Speaker 5 (39:38):
Yuh. One of the flaws in my partner is they
can't speak Mandarin.

Speaker 4 (39:43):
There you go.

Speaker 5 (39:44):
And also a flaw of mine as well, Yeah, me too,
that's my flaw.

Speaker 3 (39:47):
I can only speak a very small amount of Mandarin's
a very small collection of phrases like what like I'm
going to touch you.

Speaker 5 (39:54):
We got to get you a different teacher.

Speaker 8 (39:57):
And that's the end of this story. We're going to
go on to the next one.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
Hey, this is Riley, your favorite Southern bell. We're gonna
get back to these stories. But here's three minutes worth
of ads for our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (40:08):
My boyfriend said, I'm too ambitious for wanting to chase
my dream.

Speaker 9 (40:12):
I think you gotta chase down another boy today.

Speaker 10 (40:14):
Now.

Speaker 3 (40:15):
I've wanted to be a veterinarian since I twenty five
female was a young girl. As I got older, I
gave up on those dreams. But when I turned twenty three,
I decided to give it a go. I went back
to school and have sense achieved an associate's degree with
a four point o GPA, and have plans to transfer
to a university and then go to VET school. Long
story short, my dreams don't seem so unattainable anymore. The

(40:36):
problem lies with my relationship. By the way, this country
user Fuzzy bat eight six seven eight and if you
want to submit your own stories, go to the r
slash Okay Storytime subured it.

Speaker 4 (40:46):
I am Dakota, I'm Angie, I'm Carly, and.

Speaker 3 (40:49):
We're here to give good advice goofully, but we don't
have all the answers. We're just a couple of goofballs
and know about our goofball stuff. So if you know
some stuff we don't know, why don't you just tell us?

Speaker 5 (40:57):
In the comments? And OP says, with the way things
are going, I won't be done with school until I'm
thirty or thirty one.

Speaker 4 (41:04):
I've always wanted to get married and have kids before
that age, but.

Speaker 3 (41:07):
Since I decided to go back to school, I've reconsidered
when would be a good age to have kids. My boyfriend,
twenty four male, wants to get married and start having
kids this year. Although I would love to start a family,
I'm so torn me starting a family with him would
require me moving states back to my hometown and taking
time off from school. Not only that, my boyfriend told

(41:28):
me he wants to be with a woman who wants
to be a stay at home wife.

Speaker 4 (41:32):
This is a text that he sent me. Quote.

Speaker 3 (41:35):
I do not desire to be with a woman who
is as ambitious as yourself. It's great for you that
you have goals, but I want a big family and
a traditional relationship. If I don't decide to change my plans,
he and I are going to move on. I also
want a big family, and I have no problem with
prioritizing my future family when the time comes. However, I
just can't reconcile with the fact that he's asking me

(41:57):
to give up the dreams I've had since I was
a little girl. I love him so much and I
can't imagine my life without him, and so I have
been questioning if I'm making the right choice by staying
on this path to being a vet. I know it
sounds stupid since I'm only twenty five, but I've been
feeling like if I don't do this now, I might
not find someone to marry and start a family with.
This conversation with my boyfriend is making me question if

(42:19):
men just don't want to marry a woman who puts
their career first for a while. Maybe I shouldn't think
like that, but it's hard not to. On the other hand,
I feel like my boyfriend is asking me to give
up my dreams so that.

Speaker 4 (42:30):
He can live out his own. So I guess I
just need advice.

Speaker 3 (42:34):
What are your thoughts on changing my plans to pursue
my dreams in order to make my boyfriend happy.

Speaker 4 (42:39):
Is it worth it?

Speaker 3 (42:41):
Would I be making a mistake if I let this
relationship with someone that I love go. And yeah, there
are some comments. I think the consensus will probably be
chase so dreams because I don't like that.

Speaker 5 (42:55):
I don't like that.

Speaker 4 (42:56):
It's just like a because you could still you know, you.

Speaker 3 (43:01):
Can be like quote unquote traditional without just being a
stay at home mom. Yeah, and I think that's weird
for the vibe to be like, well, no, I have
the last say over what.

Speaker 5 (43:14):
You do with your life.

Speaker 2 (43:16):
Yeah, I didn't like any of what I just heard,
except for the fact that you're an ambitious woman.

Speaker 9 (43:24):
That's what I like to hear. But everything else, no bad.
I don't like it.

Speaker 4 (43:30):
Yeah, I don't really don't like it.

Speaker 9 (43:32):
And you know, things maybe just have to look different
for you.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
Whether that means that you get married a little bit later,
But I don't think that should mean that you don't
chase your dreams.

Speaker 9 (43:43):
You're only twenty five.

Speaker 4 (43:45):
Yeah, you're a.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
Quarter of the way through your life, and you're going
to give up on the rest of your life what
you want to.

Speaker 9 (43:50):
Do with the rest of it now. No, no, no, no, no,
we can marry a man.

Speaker 2 (43:53):
Later, that text that he sent you to me literally
just said that he was breaking up with you. And
he was like, Oh, I just don't like how ambitious
you are. I'm this isn't right for me. That's what
it read as.

Speaker 3 (44:05):
I mean, that's basically where they're at. She's like, we
if I don't change this, we're gonna split up.

Speaker 9 (44:09):
You should not.

Speaker 4 (44:10):
I think you're splitting up.

Speaker 9 (44:11):
I think you're splitting up.

Speaker 2 (44:12):
I would change yourself from man, especially when it comes
to your career. Girl.

Speaker 4 (44:18):
Yeah. Yeah, we have some comments from op uh he Yeah.

Speaker 3 (44:24):
He did say a few other things that were pretty hurtful,
like insinuating that my life focus should solely be on
becoming a mother. Those kind of comments really made me
second guess myself. I guess I just wanted to give
him the benefit of the doubt that he didn't mean
it the way it sounded. Sounds kind of ridiculous now
that I'm typing it, lol. He's always known for a
very long time that I plan to become a VET,

(44:45):
but just recently sprang this on me. I appreciate your comments.
I think I know that I have to do the
hard thing. It's just hard to accept at this moment.
Maybe he loves me, but he certainly doesn't like me.
Whoof Yeah, leave this. I've really been second guessing myself.
But it's true that the man I'm meant to be
with wouldn't look at my passions as a flaw and

(45:07):
try to change me. It's just a sad thing to accept.
I can't imagine giving up what I'm passionate about for.

Speaker 10 (45:13):
A man, a man who would one day find some
other thing to pick me apart for and eventually lead
me on my own.

Speaker 3 (45:29):
A part of me does want to see it through
with him, but it feels like a bigger part of
me is screaming at me not to do it. And
we have an update from the same day. Thanks for
the replies. I read every single one, and the general
consensus is that I should not give up my.

Speaker 4 (45:44):
Goal of being a VET.

Speaker 3 (45:45):
A part of me knows that, but I just was
second guessing if I was making the right decision. I
really love him and have been with him since I
was a teenager. If I'm being honest, I left out
some information in order to try to keep the responses
as non biased as possible, be referring to my boyfriend
as my ex period. Yeah, okay, so some important information

(46:10):
or answers to some comments that I saw. My ex
has known for years about my dreams to become a
VET and has only just recently sprang this on me
that he doesn't want me if I go through with it.
It started with me talking about the cost of VET school.
He then gave me an ultimatum that if I go
to VET school then he's going to break up with me.

Speaker 9 (46:31):
He just can't afford it.

Speaker 2 (46:32):
He's just like, ah, I want a big wedding, So
if you're going to spend all that money on VET school,
I can't have.

Speaker 9 (46:38):
My sparkly suit. It's so funny, like my fireworks.

Speaker 4 (46:41):
That's what he That's what he really wanted was a big,
extravagant wedding.

Speaker 9 (46:46):
I can't.

Speaker 2 (46:47):
I can't marry someone that's spending their money on their career,
big bib.

Speaker 3 (46:50):
This isn't about me being the breadwinner and you having
no income in me having control over you for the
rest of our lives. This is purely about my Sparkley
diamond suit.

Speaker 2 (46:59):
If you can afford both, than like by all means,
but but I need fireworks at when we say I do.

Speaker 9 (47:05):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (47:06):
When I told him that I'm not giving up on
that goal, he kind of went back on his ultimatum. Yeah,
but then a week Yeah, a shocker. But then a
week later is when he brought it up again, hence
my post. So yes, he did ask me to give
up being a VET. He told me that I wasn't
acting like a lady that is a woman. My purpose

(47:26):
is to be a mom and a wife, and that
I have no idea how the world works.

Speaker 9 (47:32):
If you go to that school, you're gonna have to
assist a.

Speaker 2 (47:35):
Cow being birthed or something. You gotta stick your hand
all the way up in a cow.

Speaker 4 (47:39):
That's not womanly to be elbow deep and a cow's uterus.

Speaker 9 (47:42):
No, it is not. I can't marry someone like that.

Speaker 3 (47:44):
Another comment ask why I would have to move back
to my hometown. I moved out of my hometown and
have been in a long distance relationship ever since. My
ex used to tell me that his plan was to
move to the new city I live in now, but
he randomly decided against that. He was not willing to
budge and told me many times that I would have
to move back in order for us to be together.

Speaker 4 (48:06):
This was another point of contention for us. I know
what's not working, and it's this relationship. That's crazy.

Speaker 9 (48:13):
That's right. You can say that again, girl.

Speaker 4 (48:16):
So he wants a traditional wife.

Speaker 2 (48:19):
Uh wants this guy so he could carry out in
his lite pocket and whenever he wants to have her
take care of the children.

Speaker 4 (48:28):
He's a big old stinker.

Speaker 9 (48:29):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 2 (48:30):
Find a man that you know was excited to have
that family with you and is determined to make it
work with you and your job and your ambitions.

Speaker 3 (48:40):
Many people were wondering if he had the resources to
take care of a stay at home mother and a
big family.

Speaker 4 (48:45):
The short answer is maybe for a while.

Speaker 3 (48:48):
He hasn't had a stable job for months, but he
has a good amount of money in assets. It would
be okay for the short term, but definitely would not
provide the life that he or I have expressed that
we would want. Left all of this information out because
I wanted to hear people's advice at face value, but
I recognize that all of this is pretty important information.
I'm not sure if I'm missing any other important questions,

(49:09):
so I'm open to answering more if needed, but I
think at this point the case is pretty cut and dry.
He and I are broken up. I've come to the
conclusion that even if I did everything he wanted me
to do, he would still find something to put me down.

Speaker 4 (49:22):
For and end up leaving me. Anyways. It sucks, but
I guess I'll just.

Speaker 3 (49:26):
Focus on becoming a VET and the whole family thing
will hopefully come when it's meant to.

Speaker 4 (49:30):
Thanks to you guys again for your comments.

Speaker 3 (49:33):
I received such great advice and I appreciate what everyone
said so much.

Speaker 4 (49:38):
And we've got more comments.

Speaker 3 (49:40):
Comment number one man has no job and wants a
stay at home wife. I don't think he knows how
it works. Comment to why is it that the guys
who seem to want a traditional wife the most are
the least prepared to fill the role of a traditional husband.
No steady job or a low paying job that can
in no way support the size family they want. They

(50:03):
usually can't even support themselves. Opie says it's because they
are mediocre that they want a traditional wife. These men
are losers, and they don't have the intelligence, perseverance, or
the hygiene to make themselves better Therefore, the shortcut to
feeling better about themselves is to latch themselves onto a
system where they are above women by default. That way,

(50:23):
they don't need to do any self improvement. They can
just bask in the luck of their birth.

Speaker 9 (50:27):
That's actually really well put sentence right there. That's very true.

Speaker 8 (50:32):
Ah.

Speaker 3 (50:33):
It's similar to how diddlers gravitate towards religion because the
system protects them and authority instead of actually working to
prove their deserving of it. Comment three says, I'm porking
up with you because you're too ambitious for me. Her
answer should have been, oh, that works for me, because
you're not ambitious enough for me.

Speaker 9 (50:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:57):
I feel like that's a more common thing that I've
heard of people breaking up because like one person isn't
as ambitious as the other and they're like boring pretty much,
and you are boring me.

Speaker 4 (51:11):
I was thinking that from the beginning.

Speaker 3 (51:13):
But to find in her second post that he doesn't
even have a job right now was just the cherry
on top of this Sunday And that is the end
of that story.

Speaker 9 (51:22):
Boom, end of the story, end of the relationship.

Speaker 2 (51:27):
Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here and
we're going to get back to the stories, but here's
a three minute ad break from our sponsors. I've been
dating three different people without even knowing it.

Speaker 4 (51:41):
I think we need to up our situational awareness.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
I don't know where to begin, so everything may sound
just as confusing as I feel right now. A few
months ago, I started seeing a guy I met through
my new job. We don't work together, we connected in
an incredible way. We started out simply talking for one
or two hours a day after work by video call
since we were both working remotely, and almost every Saturday

(52:05):
we would go.

Speaker 9 (52:06):
Out to do something together normal dates.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
By the way, this comes from a great emphasis forty
three to ninety three, and if you want to submit
your own stories, go to the r slash Okay, storytime
separate it.

Speaker 4 (52:16):
And I'm Angie, I'm Dakota.

Speaker 9 (52:18):
I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice.

Speaker 4 (52:21):
Goofily.

Speaker 9 (52:22):
But we don't have all the answers.

Speaker 2 (52:23):
We just know we would do in these situations. So
let us know what you would do in the comments,
so Opie continues. Then he finally got a job he
had been trying to get, but it was in person,
so we stopped the video calls. He began calling me
as soon as he left work, and we would talk
the whole way until he got home, made something to eat,
and so on.

Speaker 9 (52:43):
I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (52:44):
Four hours or more of conversation every day Monday to Friday.

Speaker 9 (52:48):
We stopped going out so much on Saturdays.

Speaker 2 (52:51):
At first, I thought it was because he was tired
and adjusting to working in person again after such a
long time working from home.

Speaker 9 (52:58):
But now I think he noticed that I was all
becoming suspicious of something.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
I could say I'm very perceptive, but I think I'm
simply not stupid. From the beginning, I noticed a few things.
Sometimes he seemed very confident, and at other times he
seemed shy. Our conversation topics were very varied, ranging from
very superficial everyday things like preferring to cook with garlic
or onions, to deep and philosophical subjects. We have literally

(53:25):
discussed the theories of some philosophers.

Speaker 4 (53:27):
I think garlic is pretty philosophical.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
And I'm not saying a person can't be interested in
a wide range of topics, because I am. But it
simply didn't feel like I was talking to the same person.
But caught my attention. The most was his choice of words.

Speaker 9 (53:43):
He wrote differently, spoke differently.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
For example, one day he would use abbreviations, the next
day he wouldn't, or he would abbreviate words in a
different way the same when speaking. It's hard to explain,
but imagine a friend who has just learned the meaning
of a word and starts using it in a conversation.
You can tell, well, it's not a word that he
would normally use, and that it's something new.

Speaker 9 (54:03):
That's the feeling, only on a much larger scale.

Speaker 2 (54:07):
At first, I didn't think about multiple personalities obviously. In fact,
until he told me that he had a dissociative identity disorder,
that hadn't crossed my mind at all. I just felt
that something was wrong. So yesterday I decided to ask
him directly. We don't go to each other's homes. In
the title, I said he was my boyfriend, just to

(54:27):
keep it short. But we've known each other for four months.
I don't know where he lives, and he doesn't know
where I live either. In any case, even if I
did go to his place, I think I would still
have preferred to have this conversation somewhere neutral. I chose
a cafe that had some more secluded tables in case
the conversation turned to very personal topics. I'm very straightforward
and I hate when things are sugarcoated. So as soon

(54:50):
as we sat down, I simply said, explain. I didn't
give any more context because I didn't have any Wow.
I just needed him to explain, and I knew he
would know what I was talking about.

Speaker 4 (55:01):
That's good technique.

Speaker 9 (55:03):
Yeah, sit down, explain, Explain.

Speaker 2 (55:06):
You bring it your own, like lamp to table lamp
and you turn that on and shove it in their face.

Speaker 4 (55:11):
Explain.

Speaker 3 (55:12):
Explain, and you sound like an old explain your phone.

Speaker 2 (55:17):
So he must have been expecting it, because he didn't
even pick up the menu when we sat down. As
a positive point, I can say that he answered directly
saying that he did have dissociative identity disorder. As you
can imagine, I started asking a lot of questions because
I had.

Speaker 9 (55:32):
And still have many doubts.

Speaker 2 (55:34):
As a negative point, I can say that he left,
not physically, but the him who had been talking to
me initially left internally. I saw his expression change, and
it was the strangest thing I've ever seen in my life.

Speaker 9 (55:47):
I get chills just remembering it.

Speaker 2 (55:49):
It was frankly frightening. I was in shock, not knowing
whether to run away or say something. First thing the
new him did was take out a small green notebook
that he always.

Speaker 9 (55:59):
Carries with him and flipped through the pages.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
Then he said he would need some context and ask
what we were talking about.

Speaker 9 (56:05):
I told him that he had told.

Speaker 2 (56:06):
Me about the disorder and that I was asking questions,
and he completed it by saying that the coward had
run away.

Speaker 4 (56:15):
WHOA, this is freaky.

Speaker 3 (56:16):
Yeah, it is a little I mean, it's really it's
it's a little intense.

Speaker 4 (56:21):
Yeah, that's intense.

Speaker 9 (56:23):
That's intense, because I know it's like a real thing.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
But I'm I'm sure even if you're being super chill
with it and accepting of it and everything, I'm sure
it's still like pre freaky see happening in front of you,
you know what I mean, especially like with those words too,
where you like forgot everything from before.

Speaker 4 (56:41):
Yeah, that's that's that's pretty gnarly.

Speaker 9 (56:43):
Because I thought that that's not quite what it was like.

Speaker 2 (56:46):
Don't you not just forget everything that just happened, like
you still remember what happened?

Speaker 4 (56:50):
And I don't really know that much. I'm sure there's
like a spectrum. I'm sure that, but.

Speaker 9 (56:55):
I also didn't totally All the information I have is
based on movies.

Speaker 4 (57:00):
So yeah, the movie split. Yeah, well yeah, which apparently,
but I don't think.

Speaker 3 (57:04):
I don't think that one's hyper accurate all the time. Yeah,
but you know, yeah, he doesn't turn into a monster.

Speaker 9 (57:14):
Yeah, the coward had run aways spooky wooky.

Speaker 2 (57:19):
After the initial shock and after that comment, I have
to admit that really irritated me. I know this isn't
a normal situation, but he left me talking to myself,
walked away in the middle of the conversation, and we
weren't even arguing. I was just asking questions anyway. The
conversation continued with the new him, it became clear that
I was talking to the more self confident version of him.

(57:42):
He was relaxed, as if everything were normal. He said
he was hungry and that he preferred to answer my
questions while eating in shorts. I felt a bit stupid
for not thinking about multiple personalities before, but now it
all seems so obvious. I repeated the questions I had
asked and that he hadn't answered.

Speaker 4 (57:58):
I don't think you should feel stick stupid for not
considering multiple personalities.

Speaker 9 (58:04):
Yeah, pretty rare. Yeah, like mental health disorder. Right.

Speaker 3 (58:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:11):
I asked many questions. I won't remember all of them,
but I'll mention the ones that I think are most important.
I asked about how many personalities he had, and he
said he had five diagnosed. Then I asked about specific
situations in which I had noticed the changes, so I
could identify who was who. Apparently, over these past months,
I've had contact with three personalities. I called the main

(58:31):
one Gareth because it's the first letter of his name.
He suggested calling him C for the coward, but I
found that offensive. The one who usually talks to me
about philosophical topics I called Paul, And the one who
took over to answer my questions, I called Kevin because
he said he was the one who kissed me, which

(58:53):
was the only physical contact we've had so far. I
asked about the other two that I don't know, but
he didn't want to talk about them, and I didn't
push it. I asked whether they communicate internally, and I
felt very stupid asking that, and he said no, that
they don't know what the others do and don't remember anything,
but they've developed a system, which is the notebook he
carries everywhere. They write down what they think is important

(59:15):
so that if another one takes over their sort of
up to date interesting. He also said he hardly has
any triggers and that very few things cause the switching.
He said he's a functional man. He lives alone, works,
and so on. Some of the questions I asked seem
to have offended him a bit, such as whether he
takes medication and what kind of treatment he has for this. Overall,

(59:36):
I think then I ended on good terms, even though
everything was a bit strange.

Speaker 9 (59:40):
But he hasn't spoken to me since.

Speaker 2 (59:42):
He hasn't sent me any messages, and I don't know
whether he'll call me tomorrow when he.

Speaker 9 (59:47):
Leaves work like he always does. This is the situation
I'm in now.

Speaker 2 (59:51):
I like him, but we don't have a relationship that's
lasted for years, and I think that if I'm going
to end things, I better do it now before I
get more emotionally involved. Other hand, I wonder whether this
is really a reason to end things between us.

Speaker 9 (01:00:03):
I imagine it's.

Speaker 2 (01:00:04):
Similar to being with someone who has a disability. I
don't know because I'm not part of that world. But
those people also have relationships, get married, and start families.
Am I being prejudiced? I can't deny that I'm worried
about my safety. I spent today researching this and found
out that did is caused by some kind of trauma.
Could one of his personalities be dangerous or violent? But

(01:00:26):
then again, anyone could be. He didn't want to talk
about the other two, but that may simply be because
it's something very personal. I also don't tell him many things,
considering that we don't yet have the level of intimacy
needed to get into that.

Speaker 9 (01:00:40):
I even thought about asking him to give me.

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
A report from his psychologist with basic information about each
personality so i'd know what I'd be.

Speaker 9 (01:00:47):
Dealing with, But that feels extremely invasive.

Speaker 2 (01:00:50):
Yeah, I feel like getting like an official report from
your psychologist would be a little much.

Speaker 9 (01:00:54):
But if you ask him about each one, just.

Speaker 4 (01:00:57):
I think for me, it's a little bit too much
for me to bite off, you know, I just, uh,
that's just how oft be you.

Speaker 3 (01:01:06):
Yeah, And I think if the question of are you
like medicating this at all was met with.

Speaker 4 (01:01:11):
Like sort of like hostility, m m ah, goodbye.

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
Yeah, I could understand if it's kind of like, oh, well,
do you think it should like, do you think it's
a prop like I can understand being defensive of that,
I guess, but but yeah, I mean I I would
I would want to know that too, if they would
be like medicated or something of how you're treating it,
if anything to do.

Speaker 9 (01:01:38):
Yeah, oh yeah, I know you're a little more.

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
Yeah, you know, I'm very confused, and I really need
an external point of view. Has anyone ever been in
a similar situation or dealt with someone with the idea,
even if not romantically. Are these just prejudices or is
my fear valid? Should I break up with him? We
do have an update. I'm grateful for all the replies
I've received, even the most absurd ones. Some raised new

(01:02:02):
questions for me, and others simply shocked me. I'll clear
up a few doubts from the comments before talking about
what happened today. First of all, he didn't ignore me.
I said he hadn't spoken to me since Saturday. But
I also didn't message him. In other words, there was
no conversation because neither of us initiated one. As for
him being upset about the question, regarding medication. He didn't
become aggressive or irritated. It simply seems like a sensitive topic,

(01:02:25):
and he appeared slightly offended. I think anyone would feel
that way, and his reaction seemed completely normal to me.
That leads me to the questions about whether he receives
any kind of treatment. Yes, when I asked about the medication,
he said he doesn't take anything, but he does there
be twice a week. Regarding the switches being constant and
whether he's actually functional with this, I don't think the

(01:02:48):
switching is that frequent, as far as I can tell,
I spoke to Paul once and Kevin twice. The rest
of the time I interacted only with Gareth. I noticed
it more because the differences were very striking, not because
it happened often. I'm not in contact with him all day,
only for a few hours a day, so I really
can't say whether he switches throughout the day. I believe

(01:03:09):
he doesn't because, as I said, he.

Speaker 9 (01:03:11):
Lives alone and works.

Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
He likes cooking, and I don't see how it would
be very feasible to follow a recipe if they forget
things when they switch. I don't feel uncomfortable with him
or with the situation, I simply don't understand it. I
would have the same reaction if you told me he
was missing a leg, or had an autoimmune disease, or
anything else that was different and outside of what's normal
for me. I would have many questions and would wonder

(01:03:35):
whether it's something I should worry about and what I
should take into consideration. In shorts, I have doubts, not
fear about me not knowing much about him and about
our dates. Yes, I don't know where he lives, and no,
I don't know any of his family members or friends.
But he doesn't know mine either, nor does he know.

Speaker 9 (01:03:52):
Where I live.

Speaker 2 (01:03:53):
In other words, were on equal footing. I do know
people from his previous workplace. We were introduced, so he
isn't a complete strain. We've gone out almost every Saturday
over the past four months. He didn't suddenly stop wanting
to go out, but he stopped suggesting plans. Before he
was the one excited about making plans, and in the
past month I was the one proposing them. My assumption

(01:04:14):
is that either he was very tired from working in
person and simply didn't want to leave the house in
his free time, or he had already noticed that I
was finding something strange and wanted to avoid being more exposed.
As for him hating himself or having issues with his personalities,
I can't really say from my perspective. If he has
a personality that only appears intense situations and has to

(01:04:36):
solve the problems he gets himself into, I think I'd
be irritated too, Or maybe he was just annoyed because
there was no information in the notebook.

Speaker 9 (01:04:45):
The impression I.

Speaker 2 (01:04:46):
Get is that because he has did anything he does
is seen in a negative light, even things that are
perfectly normal. I see him as an intelligent, independent man
with plans.

Speaker 9 (01:04:56):
For the future.

Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
He has a degree, which I imagine must have been difficult
to achieve given his condition, and it also explains why
he's so reluctant to do a master's degree, even though
he says it would be good for his career and
he has a job he enjoys. The fact that he
has a disability only makes me think that he must
have faced more difficulties to get to.

Speaker 9 (01:05:16):
Where he is now.

Speaker 2 (01:05:17):
He says he's functional, and I believe him, especially based
on what I know about him so far. He seems
to have found a way to function, and I find
that admirable. He uses the notebook a lot. I'd already
noticed it during our video calls. Sometimes he would stop
talking to write things down. I thought it was just
like a notepad where he wrote things he remembered at
the moment so he wouldn't forget them again something he

(01:05:37):
had to do or buy, for example. But this shows
that he takes seriously what must have been suggested by
his psychologists. Some new questions that came up for me
from the comments were about whether he had reached some
kind of internal consensus about me. Could he have personalities
that don't like me? Until now, I had been seeing
him as one person, just split but still one. But

(01:05:59):
this raises the question of whether I should treat them
as separate people. Could one personality be interested in someone
else and cheat on me? I know I ever think,
but that's how my brain works. I see one thing
and think of thirty possibilities, both positive and negative.

Speaker 9 (01:06:13):
Now the actual update.

Speaker 2 (01:06:15):
He didn't talk to me at all today and neither
did I, but at the same time he usually calls me,
he sent me a message asking whether he could call.
It was strange at first, as if we had seen
something very embarrassing about each other and didn't know how
to act. There were long periods of silence on both sides.
He apologized for not staying to answer my question. I
tried to understand what had caused the trigger, because I

(01:06:37):
wasn't irritated and I hadn't been demanding or aggressive. I
was simply trying to understand, and I had doubts. But
he didn't want to go too deeply into it, and
I didn't push. I accepted all of the its complicated
responses as him not wanting to talk about it, and
I respected that. Little by little, our conversation became normal again,
like our previous conversations. The truth is that I didn't

(01:06:59):
want did to be the main topic.

Speaker 9 (01:07:01):
I wanted us to go.

Speaker 2 (01:07:02):
Back to our routine, and that's what happens. He's getting
a few friends together at his place on Friday and
invited me. He told me to bring some friends as well,
so i'd feel safer. Maybe now that I know the secret,
he feels safe enough to.

Speaker 9 (01:07:15):
Be more open. I'm going.

Speaker 2 (01:07:17):
I've already asked a friend to come with me. As
for whether I'll break up with him or not, I
still haven't decided. I don't think I have enough information
to make that decision. Yet there are enough good things
in our relationship to make me feel I need to
take my time to think through it.

Speaker 9 (01:07:30):
Maybe I should give you a few examples and you
can better understand the position I'm in. We love examples
over here.

Speaker 4 (01:07:36):
I do love a good little example.

Speaker 2 (01:07:39):
I have a lot of responsibilities at work, and I
manage a large team. There are weeks when I barely
have anything to do. The team is running like a
perfectly tuned machine. And then there are a few weeks
when it feels like no one is working or there's
simply too much demand for the team to handle, and
I have an overwhelming amount to do. I barely sleep
and barely eat. Give you an idea. I have someone

(01:08:01):
who cooks for me. She brings me a plate of
food while I'm working and has been instructed to come
back from time to time to check whether I'm eating,
to remind me to finish my meal because I get
so focused on work.

Speaker 9 (01:08:11):
That I forget.

Speaker 2 (01:08:12):
She takes the plate away when the food gets cold,
reheats it, and brings it back to me until I
finish eating. Wow, that sounds like a if you can
afford that, dude, that sounds like a great thing to have, Yeah,
in your life.

Speaker 4 (01:08:24):
A designated reheater.

Speaker 2 (01:08:26):
Yeah, I'm gonna make sure I don't get too distracted
to eat.

Speaker 9 (01:08:31):
I need that for sure.

Speaker 2 (01:08:33):
And on the days she doesn't work during these very
busy periods, I don't eat anything all day and only
eat when I finish work around five to six pm,
and that's the only meal I have. That said, it's
obvious that our video calls coincided with those periods, and
while he in every call was always very well presented,
I don't know whether because he got ready for them
or simply because his job involved a lot of meetings.

(01:08:56):
Many times I wasn't imagine someone who has slept for
four hours for several days in a row, got out
of bed straight to sit in front of the computer,
worked all day and barely eaten. In many of those calls,
I was disheveled, hadn't even had time to wash my face,
and had just stopped working to go and eat, looking
and feeling like a zombie.

Speaker 3 (01:09:15):
I think my final thought on this would be like
kind of exactly what I've already said that like, if
this was just like someone like a cob or like
a friend. This is a friendship. It's like, okay, I can,
we can, I can do this.

Speaker 4 (01:09:31):
That's okay. But in like a relationship, it's just too
much for me.

Speaker 9 (01:09:37):
Yeah, and person in person, I feel like that's okay.

Speaker 3 (01:09:41):
Yeah, not to say that, like anyone with this guy's
condition at the level it's at like can't date totally,
but like it would be it would require all of
that would have to be required upfront, which is.

Speaker 4 (01:09:57):
Probably really hard to do. Yeah, but I can't.

Speaker 3 (01:10:01):
You can't be talking me for like four months and
have never told me that you have legitimate split personality,
because that's yeah, that's like you're leaving too much off
the table.

Speaker 9 (01:10:11):
Yeah, I get you. You know you want to upfront.

Speaker 4 (01:10:15):
I would have needed it up front. Yeah, if I
was going to make a run.

Speaker 9 (01:10:18):
At it, I get you. I get you.

Speaker 2 (01:10:20):
There is a little bit more to the story, though.
The first time I apologized and explained that I had
been very busy and simply didn't have the energy to
get ready for our call, he didn't mind and didn't
run away from my mad looking appearance, And that was
right at the beginning. In short, I bring things to
the table too, and I think we both need to
decide whether we can handle each other's baggage. I told
him today that I will probably be prejudiced, disrespectful, and

(01:10:44):
unintentionally touch on sensitive topics with my questions and fears,
and I asked whether he's willing to deal with that.
I don't think it's very pleasant to deal with someone
who doesn't know what they're doing this.

Speaker 3 (01:10:54):
Honestly, though, part of me is a little suspicious that
that's not that.

Speaker 9 (01:11:02):
He's making it up or something. Whoa, whoa.

Speaker 3 (01:11:09):
I'm just a little sprinkle of suspicion there. I'm just
because it's like when you're like, when you're like trying
to get more into it, be like, yeah, so, what
how is what has it?

Speaker 4 (01:11:20):
What's what's exactly?

Speaker 5 (01:11:21):
It's complicated?

Speaker 3 (01:11:23):
Well, that's a great way to not explain something you
can't explain, right, if you were to not be telling
the truth, however, he could be.

Speaker 9 (01:11:31):
I'm sure someone's faked it.

Speaker 4 (01:11:33):
I'm sure.

Speaker 9 (01:11:34):
I'm sure there have been people who have faked that.
Fake it a couple of years ago, did.

Speaker 3 (01:11:39):
She I'm sure, but you know it would be it
would be a really hard thing to fake convincingly to.

Speaker 9 (01:11:46):
Be clear who's doing it so like subtly.

Speaker 2 (01:11:49):
I don't think he would have gone through all that
trouble of carrying a notebook and stuff and like really
really working on it to make it work.

Speaker 4 (01:11:57):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:11:57):
This could have just been like, uh, you know, a
quirky high school lie that's spun out of control for
this guy, A you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:12:05):
But it also might not. But I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:12:09):
I think at the end of the day, that's the
thing that's making me be like, I don't think that
this would work because it's like there's not one hundred
percent like upfrontness and openness with like what it is
and how it impacts him and like what affects him
like more like I just yeah, there's too much in
the dark.

Speaker 9 (01:12:25):
I guess you a lot going on in this one.
This is the long update I have for now.

Speaker 2 (01:12:30):
I may come back on Saturday or Sunday if I
have anything to add after Friday's get together. I don't
think anything relevant will happen before that. In any case,
I appreciate any new advice, especially from those who seem
to have real experience with people with DID and on
whether or not to treat the personalities as separate people.

Speaker 9 (01:12:47):
And that's the end of that story. Yeah, I mean
I think that.

Speaker 2 (01:12:50):
Was a really good thing that she said to him,
where she was like, you know, I'm probably going to
end up being prejudiced or insensitive on accident because I
like don't know about it or when I'm trying to
ask questions about it, are you willing to deal with that? Like,
you know, it's not on purpose, I'm just don't know. So, yes,

(01:13:11):
that that is something that he's going to have to
choose too. He might know he wouldn't want to be
with someone that doesn't understand or is.

Speaker 4 (01:13:18):
Fearful of it, you know.

Speaker 8 (01:13:19):
Yeah, and that's the end of this story.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;} My husband’s new car has been TOTALED.. and I don’t know how to tell him! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2649