My mother-in-law’s boyfriend caused CHAOS at my wedding… someone needs to stop him! - r/charlottedobreyoutube | Reddit Stories | EP2064 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 3 (00:12):
My mother in law's boyfriend caused chaos at my wedding.
Someone needs to stop him.

Speaker 4 (00:18):
Arrest him. Arrest that man.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
My husband and I met when he was in school
nearby my hometown. His family lived across the country and
I had only met them twice maybe before this. His
mother was a sweet woman, but needs a lot of
care and attention. By the way, this comes from Joy
Moon Arts on the r slash Okay Storytom Subredent. So
she was dating slash living with this guy, what we

(00:41):
call him Luke when we got married. Because husband's family
was traveling, Luke decided to accompany mother in law to
take care of her. Everyone arrived and went to their
hotel three days before the wedding. At our rehearsal dinner,
Luke was very friendly with my then teenage sister. You
thought he liked older women. My father was not impressed

(01:02):
and proceeded to stick super close to sister for the
rest of the evening. Things continued to get more awkward
from there. The next day at the church, he awkwardly
just kind of wandered in and sat in the front.
He was fine through the whole ceremony, but when we
were headed to a different location for photos, and because
he was driving the majority of the husband's family, we

(01:23):
gave him specific directions on how to get there. Not far,
just a couple of turns, not bad. Here's the problem.
One has to enter the address very specifically because there
are two streets in the town with the same name,
but one is east and the other one is west.
So the address we needed to go to was one
two three W Street, but one two three E Street

(01:48):
also existed guests, which one he decided to put in
his GPS s bed East. We drove for about an
hour before finally calling my new husband in a rage
because this dear husband gave him the wrong address and
directions and they now won't get back to take pictures.
Pictures are already over and so husband tells Luke to

(02:10):
just drive to the reception. We arrive at the reception
and tell the DJ we are running a bit behind
because family got lost. Well five minutes turned into ten,
that turned into fifteen, and we can't wait any longer
to do the entry, so we do our introductions, parents,
the wedding's party, and us. My dad blesses the mill

(02:30):
and these people are still not there. Where did he
drive to that's thirty minutes, bro, this is crazy. Next
thing we know, there is a banging and slamming on
the window behind the hed table.

Speaker 4 (02:41):
God, why are you gonna make an entrance?

Speaker 3 (02:43):
My bridesmaids all get startled and scream, and the men
all get up to defend the perimeter. Oh wait, nope,
it's just slop pounded on the window because he can't
find the front door. Again, this person and his sense
of direction, This.

Speaker 4 (02:55):
Man, I have a bad sense of direction. It's not
that bad. It's not this sky bad.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
Oh yeah, luke badeth that you put it in the
out there?

Speaker 4 (03:03):
Whoa bad?

Speaker 3 (03:06):
Anyway? Someone goes and finds them. They all compiling to
the door and everyone is seated and already eating. Husband
had got up to grab something, and the next thing
I know, we hear shouting from across the room, Lucas
shouting at husband for starting the reception without them and
berating him for being disrespectful, inconsiderate son.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
Son, you were disrespectful? How could you have done this
to me?

Speaker 4 (03:28):
He's look, I got lost in It's her fault.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
Dude, You're just some dude. My mom's dating like my dad.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
My dad.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
Husband kept his composure Major pops for that and ask
why it took them so long to get there. Luke says, well,
you gave me the wrong address again. We didn't even
give him any address. It was on the invitation's website
and even out mass text message the morning off. Everyone
else found it no problem and they were on time.
This big Einstein brain decided he knew better and input

(04:01):
the address himself incorrectly and went the wrong way again,
and then blamed us for his magellan ass navigational decisions.
So Luke is steaming, husband is stewed, and mother in
law is crying, and nobody is happy. We decided to
just move on and eat and put it aside for now.

Speaker 4 (04:20):
I would kick Luke out.

Speaker 3 (04:21):
We finished our meals and speeches, and now it is
time to dance. Luke bee lines for my teenage sister
and asked her to dance.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
Yeo, wow, she's eighteen?

Speaker 4 (04:32):
Is that true?

Speaker 3 (04:33):
So she's eighteen, guys, is she about to turn? She's eighteen,
about to turn? My dad gets a hustle on and
heads them off. Now let me just pause and say,
Luke is very tall, beer bellied, sweaty, seventy something year
old white guy, and he gave us all the ick.
So my sister is less than impressed. But this is

(04:55):
a big old man and she is about fourteen.

Speaker 4 (04:58):
Ew So the thing is like, this isn't even a
person that he knows, Like, it's not like it's on
Opie's husband's side, and it's like someone he's met before.
This is a complete stranger fourteen year old that he
keeps trying to interact with. I would be incredibly uncomfortable
even at like I would be uncomfortable if a seventy
year old man was like.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
What's damn back of my age? You didn't need age
of consent?

Speaker 4 (05:22):
I hate this man.

Speaker 3 (05:23):
Dad to the rescue. Luke kept trying to dance with
the young girls at the reception. They were all freaked out,
and finally I think it was my dad someone told
him to sit down. Luke decided that was enough and
they were going to leave now, thank god, So he
packed everyone back into his car and they took off.
So my husband and I finished the party, grabbed our
bags and headed out for a honeymoon, which was great.

(05:46):
Whiting was over story over right right? Nope, a god,
we're right past halfway.

Speaker 4 (05:54):
Don't dang. Luke continues to strike.

Speaker 3 (05:57):
A few weeks later, after we moved into our new apartment,
we can invite it to dinner with Luke and mother
in law. Luke keeps making passive aggressive comments to my husband.
This continued every time we saw him from then on.
One day, we get a frantic call from mother in law.
Luke's brother passed and he was leaving to go deal
with it, and she was in a panic. Turns out

(06:18):
the brother was actually passed by someone else in his
own house.

Speaker 4 (06:23):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (06:24):
Mother in law flies out with Luke and has a
dream about the brother. The brother tells her the password
to his computer in her dream. Turns out it was
the correct password.

Speaker 4 (06:34):
Going on.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
Meanwhile, husband and I are left to take care of
their dog and we go over there and I decide
to be a snoop because there is just something off
about Luke and no one can really put a finger
on it. Oh brother, I wish I had it. We
found all kinds of weird spicy sleep stuff, books, toys, movies,
old school DVDs, found stuff on his computer. It was

(06:57):
a major gross We told him mother in law all
about it.

Speaker 4 (07:00):
Okay, I was like, it's at least it's not child corn.

Speaker 3 (07:02):
Yeah, thank goodness. But she didn't care. This guy was
going to take care of her. So yes, of course
she would overlook all the weird stuff. They decided to
get married. They planned their wedding so we would share
an aniversary.

Speaker 2 (07:16):
How thoughtful.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
How that is so nice of them now instead of
settling two days, just one big day. I still don't
know what that was all about. Anyway. Husband and I
arrive at their wedding. I head to the bridle room
and husband heads to where the guys were getting ready.
Guess who isn't there. Mother in law is crying because
she thinks she is getting left at the altar. No

(07:38):
one can get a hold of Luke, and the guests
are starting to speculate whether or not Luke will actually
show up. About an hour later, okay, he shows up
with some lame excuse about how the sprinklers at his
house are leaking or something, they're supposed to do that,
like they're.

Speaker 4 (07:53):
Like going on. He's like, there's water fumbing out of
the ground.

Speaker 3 (07:56):
The wedding goes fine, the reception is fine, Everything is fine.
About a year later, they are moving into a new
apartment and Luke, as they are moving in says to
mother in law, I am not attracted to you and
I am not in love with you anymore. The divorce
papers are on the counter. He had gone through the
divorce proceedings in secret pretty much from the go. And
you can go to our live streams every weekday at
three pmpaht wor Sophia.

Speaker 4 (08:18):
TikTok, Facebook, YouTube, and Twitch.

Speaker 3 (08:20):
We're live right now, maybe so go check it out.

Speaker 4 (08:22):
I did to go double check. Man, oh man, if
only anyone could have seen that Luke was a HORRIBLEOK person,
creepy weirdo. If only anyone could have seen that this
might happen.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
Uh, that was crazy.

Speaker 4 (08:37):
He's got he's got a boat full of red flags
that he trails behind him. And the mother in law
was like, oh no, he's.

Speaker 3 (08:43):
Perfect from me, And can we talk about this sub
story the password and the dream? That was crazy being right,
like psychic, I don't know. I don't know, but that wow. Okay,
hopefully they found something on the computer that could have
used to help find them.

Speaker 4 (09:00):
That she had wasn't the one that they found all
of the icky stuff on.

Speaker 3 (09:02):
Right, That was Luke's computer. They were she knew the
password to his brother's computer. Yeah, I was on the
brothers probably, like I don't know, sir incis episode. Yeah,
let's finish the story on now. It's a mad scrambled
to find mother in law a place to live and
figure out what the heck is happening. He's in it
for the money, I bet you. It turns out Luke
has been cheating on mother in law the whole time,

(09:24):
with the woman in her twenties.

Speaker 4 (09:26):
Shocking the man that was trying to dance with fourteen year.

Speaker 3 (09:29):
Olds come to find out that he had actually been
married six times before mother in law. Mother in law
got a place to live and is doing much better now.
Not sure what happened to Luke, but I'm sure he
is slimming up someone else at it. It was not
underaged stuff on his computer, but it was just gross
adult stuff. Okay, noted, Yeah that was our question. But
oh yeah, this guy sucks modern law not see that.

Speaker 4 (09:53):
She seems to have seen it, but was like, Oh,
I want someone to care for me in my old
age at seventies, so I'm not gonna be picky. And
she was like, I'm gonna be really not picky.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
I'll take anyone that would make me so uncomfortable if
I was with someone and Dad was here, gross gross grosch.

Speaker 4 (10:11):
But that is the end of that story. My manipulative
mother in law blames us for not seeing her grandchildren,
but it's her fault. Maybe if she was a better person,
she could see her grandkids exactly. I forty three and
my husband forty three, met eighteen years ago, married fourteen years.
While we were dating, I saw his mom exhibit behavior
towards their family that made it clear she has no

(10:33):
respect for anyone but herself. By the way, this comes
from stock in Arkansas on the Okay storytime Separate. I
can't be too detailed, but she alienated her siblings to
a degree that most of them have little to nothing
to do with her. She stopped boundaries put in place
by the older cousins of my husband that had kids
when we were dating. I personally saw her laugh as
she told one of them that she blatantly disregarded their rules.

(10:56):
For the infant, she would buy holiday gifts for kids
who's family didn't celebrate holidays for religious reasons, while telling
the parents in front of the kids their beliefs are
wrong and she'll do as she likes.

Speaker 3 (11:08):
Nice right role model.

Speaker 4 (11:09):
This red flag behavior made me extremely wary of her.
Years went by and my husband and I eloped. We
didn't see any reason for a big wedding and didn't
want to start our life together more broke. We called
her parents the night before we got married and told them.
My parents were congratulatory, but mother in law immediately started
on why my husband shouldn't do it. She told him

(11:31):
I'm lazy, selfish, inconsiderate, etc.

Speaker 3 (11:34):
Maybe she'll get a mirror.

Speaker 4 (11:35):
Yeah, maybe you're talking about yourself. She spent an hour
trying to talk him out of marrying me. He told
her she was being an a hole and that he
wasn't asking her permission, he just thought she'd be happy.
Spoiler alert. We got married the next day. We didn't
live near our families at the time, so all was well.
Then we decided to start a family, and within a
few months I was pregnant with our first we decided

(11:57):
to move closer to home and ended up staying with
my mother in law the last two months of my
pregnancy while finding and closing on our house. While living
with her, she told me to be a stay at
home mom, don't go to work, take care of our
kids because they are more important than extra money. I
actually am a stay at home mom, and guess who's
still calls me lazy. We had our first and two
weeks later moved into our new home.

Speaker 3 (12:19):
Why can't this woman just be yourself?

Speaker 4 (12:21):
Yeah, I cannot win. She's like the mother in law's
be a stay at home mom, and she's like okay,
and she's like, you're not, You're wrong. I was so
ready to go. Yes, we were in her house, but
this woman would come running in our room at all
hours because the baby was crying, yelling what's wrong? And
give baby to grandma. Calm down, woman, it's time to nurse.

(12:42):
She wanted me to stop trying to nurse our baby
the first two weeks so she could feed her baby,
and I was selfish for not cooperating. She wanted to
take our fresh newborn to her office to show off.
We weren't even taking the baby to the grocery store.
After we moved, she never came over. We lived thirty
minutes from her house and two hours from my parents,

(13:03):
and they visited every weekend. We had to go to her.
About six to eight months after we moved in, mother
in law moved five hours away.

Speaker 3 (13:11):
Oh right, good.

Speaker 4 (13:12):
We made a few trips to see her, and she
came to visit for a couple of hours. For the
baby's first birthday, my parents came and helped set up
for the party. That helped us break down the party.
Shortly after we found out we were having baby number two.
Mother in law showed up for the baby shower, then
left after an hour, even though one was at the party.
When two was born, there were health issues and two

(13:34):
was in the ACU for twenty day. She came to
see him for two days, then went back home while
my parents got a hotel and took care of one
for us so we could stay at the hospital as
much as possible. I think she came back once more
before Christmas that year. She doesn't care about these kids. Yeah, no, No,
that summer she came into town and did everything in
her power to get husband and I to argue. Now,

(13:56):
I grew up with a master manipulator, so I learned
early to brush most of it off. When she tried
to convince me a husband that he was ready to
propose to another girl weeks before he met me slash
while we were dating, I was laughing. She clung hard
to this story too.

Speaker 3 (14:11):
Why an't we throwing your son under the bus?

Speaker 4 (14:13):
Yeah, She's like, my son was trying to marry another girl,
and he's like, mom, what's going on? Naming the restaurant
husband took me to on our first fancy date. The
time we went was the only time he'd been up to.
When she was telling us this, talking about things that
happened to us, but maintaining it was another girl. The
best was that this girl had a name that starts
with the same letters mine does. My husband was getting

(14:34):
frustrated because they were obviously lies, but I was dying laughing.
It was just so sad and funny. She even told
us about a seagull stealing our fries, as if it
happened with husband and another woman. This behavior as continued,
but it's just sad. Now, this is like something something
medically wrong here. How unhappy do you have to be
to seek to suck the joy out of others, especially

(14:55):
your own son? Yeah, he's happy, happily married, has her
kid kids, and you're like, no, I need to ruin this.

Speaker 3 (15:01):
Why what about?

Speaker 4 (15:03):
A year and a half after two was born, we
moved forty five minutes away from my parents and three
hours from mother in law. In the two years we
lived there, mother in law came three times to visit.
All other trips we had to go see her. We
went there for festivals, to visit her at work, and
once for my husband to complete a job interview, on
top of just random trips. Two years later, we moved

(15:25):
eighteen hours away from my husband's career. We've been here
for seven years and she has only come once a year,
at either Christmas or Thanksgiving for three to four days
to visit. The best was when she wanted to take
one and two on twenty hour road trip Christmas Day,
right after opening their presence, just to turn around and
drive back twenty hours the twenty seventh. Of course, I

(15:47):
was the a hole when I pointed out how dumb
of an idea that was, no kid wants to leave
their presence to ride in a car for forty hours
over three days. I'm an adult and I don't want
to do that. About a year after we moved into
our house here, we got a surprise in baby number three.

Speaker 3 (16:02):
All right, pump on your out, yeah.

Speaker 4 (16:04):
Frank, of those kids out because you can have two.

Speaker 3 (16:07):
I mean kids, are you probably four?

Speaker 2 (16:10):
Classic? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (16:11):
Oh angilx four and you like four? Yeah, she's told
me on the first day. But I did ask her
on a first day come to kids. I was like, really,
I have three siblings. She's the youngest four siblings.

Speaker 4 (16:20):
It's gonna be two premioure Oh I see, I see.
Being significantly older now three was more of a shock
than a surprise. Mother in law kept to her regularly
scheduled visits. She didn't come out to meet three until Banksgiving. Unfortunately,
a couple of years later, she lost her youngest son.
Oh that's sad. He passed around Thanksgivings. So we went
to her and stayed two weeks to help her with

(16:40):
funeral arrangements and just to be there. Kids one and
two were in school, but they were excused. I think
this is why now she thinks they can visit whenever
with zero consequences. Brother in law had three kids of
his own, all with ages that align with one, two,
and three, but due to mother in law and brother
in law having a bad relationship, we have never met
brother in law youngest two children. Their mother wants nothing

(17:02):
to do with mother in law, and since we have
included her in our travel plans to their home state,
sister in law two would have nothing to do with us,
understandably so as far as I'm aware, even brother in
law's other child has a little to no relationship with her.
She has gone to visit once since the kid's birth
for a weekend, yet she expects his mother to send
the kid to stay with her. This summer two years ago,

(17:24):
we traveled to our home state to visit and rented
a beach house with room for her to stay with us.
She opted to rent her own place off the beach
and wanted the kids to stay with her. We had
family visiting every day, so we said no, but you
can have them x night. They had great grandparents, my parents, aunts, uncles,
and cousins from both sides come stay nights to visit

(17:45):
with tons of kids, so the kids wanted to stay
with us. Last summer, we traveled to our home state
and stayed a week at an airbnb two hours from her.
We invited her to stay with us, and she refused.
She said she was too tired to drive. I offer
to pick her up, she refused. My husband offered to
pick her up.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
She refused.

Speaker 4 (18:03):
Husband was left feeling hurt that she wouldn't come to visit.
Everything has to be on her terms, that's the thing.

Speaker 2 (18:09):
Oh yeah, it doesn't matter how easy it is.

Speaker 4 (18:11):
If she doesn't want to do it, she's not gonna
make any Yeah, concessions.

Speaker 3 (18:14):
So my grandma is it's hard. Yeah, it's like.

Speaker 4 (18:17):
I tell my grandma is too.

Speaker 3 (18:19):
Yeah, it's so because like I came to visit one
time and it was such a packed week I didn't
want to drive with Angie to go meet her. I
was like, hey, we're having a family event here, come
join us and I'd love to see you. It was
like literally five minutes away from her house. Didn't come. Dang.
But she does have like CPOD stuff and like breathing issues,
but she has also smoked her whole life.

Speaker 4 (18:39):
Doesn't help.

Speaker 3 (18:40):
Yeah, what about your grandma?

Speaker 4 (18:43):
She just won't come to America.

Speaker 3 (18:44):
Oh that okay, Yeah, that's tough.

Speaker 4 (18:46):
Yeah, kids, one and two were also hurt, but they
had cousins to play with, so they brushed it off.
The vacations I've mentioned aren't our only trips to home
state in the last seven years plus. I make it
a point to go to mother in law's first and
last on those trips, partly because my parents come to
visit multiple times a year, and partly because apparently I'm
a huge glutton for punishment. We paid for her to

(19:08):
go to Disney World with us for six days when
one and two were five and four years old. Never again.
She only actually went into the park two days, and
one of them she just walked off with our kids
and wouldn't answer her phone and didn't send a text,
didn't take two's emergency meds, just vanished for almost an hour.
That's terrifying what mother in law has been asking us

(19:29):
to send one only one. She says she can't handle
two and three, and she and one have a special
bond because one is her baby, to go on special
vacations to different states and countries since one's birthday. We
aren't doing that one. These kids are the three Musketeers,
all for one and one for all and b. We
haven't felt comfortable with interstate travel until now due to

(19:49):
many factors, but primarily their ages, and two has ongoing
health concerns from his birth trauma. Out of the country
trips without us just aren't happening until they're adults. A
all this that's just backstory. We have ongoing current drama.
My parents retired in the last three years and have
rented a home near us and have been here the

(20:09):
last year to help us as we prepare to move
yes again for my husband's career. They had to return
home for a visit to help with my grandparents, and
since they were leaving at the beginning of summer vacation,
we agreed to send the kids back with them. We
called mother in law and told her, and at first
she was super excited.

Speaker 1 (20:26):
Yay.

Speaker 4 (20:27):
We called to let her know the dates they would
be there and arranged a week to stay with her.
When we called again to let her know they had
left and would be in her home state the next day,
eighteen hour drive, she was upset One, two, and three
would be with my parents a whole twenty four hours
longer than her because they're better than you.

Speaker 3 (20:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (20:44):
Then she told us that she had taken extra days
off and planned to keep them longer, and when we
told her that won't work because others have taken time
off to see the kids, she decided we are keeping
her kids from her.

Speaker 3 (20:56):
Excuse me, ma'am, but were you there in the nine
of them? Actually nine times three is twenty seven? Were
you there in the twenty seven months of carrying these children?

Speaker 4 (21:05):
Did you burth any of them?

Speaker 2 (21:06):
No? I don't think so. No.

Speaker 3 (21:08):
So technically these are not your kids.

Speaker 4 (21:10):
Yeah, technically, and also just like in all realities, these
aren't your kids. Yeah, and you have no claim over them.
And if OP and her partner say, hey, they're going
to see other people and you can see them these days,
then you gotta listen to that.

Speaker 3 (21:22):
That's right.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 4 (21:23):
She has been told numerous times she can come here
to visit anytime she wants. We have a bedroom for
her and everything. She says, we can come visit her
or more. Husband tells her he gets three weeks of
vacation to her six. She can spend her money and
time however she wants, but if she chooses to go elsewhere,
we are not responsible for her not seeing the kids.
She has a two week abroad VAKA scheduled this summer. Again,

(21:46):
she says, we can come there those three weeks. The
kids live here. The kids' lives are here, they have
school activities, friends, Kid two is missing weeks of necessary
PT and OT he can't miss much more without backsliding.
We finally had to explain to her that her expectations
just aren't realistic. We won't ever be sending our kids
to stay with her the whole summer. Her latest demand.

(22:08):
She is, however, welcome to come visit during the summer.
Bear in mind, all of this is stemming from us
refusing to let her keep the kids extra because another
family member rearranged their schedule to spend time with them.
This family member loses hundreds of dollars each client they
cancel and fits three to six clients in a day.
So no, mother in law, I don't feel comfortable asking
them to suck it up for a last minute schedule

(22:30):
change you didn't run by anyone else.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
Her actual request.

Speaker 4 (22:33):
By the way, Also, she's mad because I decided to
fly to home state to surprise the kids, and now
she can't bully my mom into giving in to her
nice I feel like I have been very accommodating. I
try to include her as much as possible. I call
her after every big milestone. I send pictures of the kids.
And when one got a cell phone, we told mother

(22:53):
in law to text and call anytime outside of school
hours and bedtimes. She never called and only texted three
to four times. She's only been to three birthday parties
total out of their combined twenty four, even when we
live two hours away. I told my husband I refuse
to feel guilty because she doesn't see the kids as
often as she thinks she could. I'm done always reaching

(23:14):
out and being the one making an effort. My phone
rings and receives texts. The interstate goes both directions. There
are flights at the airport daily, and she can always
huck fin it up the river if nothing else. But
I'm done. He is so disappointed with her and angry
that she has decided to be so difficult over an
issue that's her own doing. But you know what's not difficult.

Speaker 3 (23:36):
What's not Sophia joining us live.

Speaker 4 (23:38):
Every WEEKDA at three PMPSD on YouTube, Facebook and TikTok.
It's the easiest thing. Yeah, all you gotta do is
have on a profile, tap it and there is a
little bit left to the story, but seems like she's
just making problems.

Speaker 3 (23:48):
Making problems once he keeps this victim mind set. You
never include me in anything. You guys are always excluding.

Speaker 4 (23:55):
It's like, go, well, what are you doing?

Speaker 3 (23:56):
Eater? I noticed she only wants them around. It's convenient
to her and makes her look good. Yeah, because earlier
she wanted to bring the baby to her office to
show off everyone.

Speaker 4 (24:06):
She's like, look at this baby I have, and.

Speaker 3 (24:08):
They shut that down really quick. I don't know if
she tried to do more things like that, but yeah,
maybe maybe good.

Speaker 4 (24:14):
But I think, yeah, keep your boundaries in place. They
aren't bad at all, Like those are very fair boundaries
to have. She took two weeks two summers ago to
visit her niece and her baby, but only came here
for four days at Thanksgiving. Last year, she drove out
two days before Christmas and left the day after Christmas
after dodging our summer trip home. Yet where a summer

(24:34):
responsible for her not seeing the kids more often? The
lack of logic confounds me. And while this isn't an
am I the ale post, I can't help wondering if
I am an ale because I'm not at all sad
she comes to visit as rarely as she has, and
I'm kind of hoping she punishes us by not coming
to visit this year. After all, she's getting her time
with the kids out of the way early, right. Yeah,

(24:55):
and that is the end of that story.

Speaker 3 (24:57):
It makes sense you don't have any more emotions with
us because you gave her some any chance, so many opportunities.

Speaker 4 (25:01):
These opportunities, and she just doesn't want to take them.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:03):
Yeah, So you can't feel bad for someone.

Speaker 4 (25:05):
No, if they're going to make their own trouble, then
I don't have to sit in it with them.

Speaker 3 (25:10):
Yeah, exactly. That's seen to that story. Who my mother
in law cast so much heartbreak, so I didn't tell
her that her son had passed. Ooh, here's the backgrounds.
I am a fifty two year old woman and my
husband was fifty four when he passed. I met him
in May of nineteen ninety eight. It was pretty much

(25:31):
love at first sight, Okay. I was the love of
his life. He loved me more than I could have
ever expected anyone to love me. By the way, this
comes from Amber seventy two on the r slash showcase
story Time, so I read it.

Speaker 2 (25:43):
He was living with his.

Speaker 3 (25:43):
Mom at the time. I don't know why, but she
was very controlling of him, a red flag I didn't
pay attention to. She calls a lot of petty drama,
things like getting mad because he wouldn't go home for dinner.
He came to see me when he got off work
and stayed until like tennish in August. Things got crazy,
so he moved in with me. In two thousand, he
was in a really bad car accident that should have

(26:06):
taken his life. He hit the steering wheel and it
severed his a order.

Speaker 4 (26:10):
That's like really bad.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
Because of his size.

Speaker 3 (26:13):
And his love for me and my son from my
first marriage, he stayed alive. He was in the hospital
for over a month. Every weekend his mom would come
to visit. She tried to take over his care and
tried to make it so that they had to ask
her permission to do any type of treatment. We were married.
We got married of August of ninety nine, so they
weren't able to allow it.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
She was horrible.

Speaker 3 (26:36):
One day, my son, who was five at the time,
was sitting nicely in a chair watching cartoons while we
were visiting my husband due to his injuries. They had
him in a medical induced coma. Anyway, Karen came in
and changed the channel to football. My son got upset
and started to cry. He was being really well behaved
and it's hard for a five year old to sit

(26:56):
and stay quiet in the hospital. But dude, Tennessee is playing.

Speaker 4 (27:00):
I got to watch the game.

Speaker 3 (27:01):
Come on, dude, they're playing its preseason.

Speaker 4 (27:04):
Who cares if your dad's in the hospital. I'm not
gonna consider your feelings.

Speaker 3 (27:07):
Just because he's in a medically induced COMAD does mean
we stopped football.

Speaker 4 (27:10):
Yeah, you need to learn.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
You need to grow up. Kid.

Speaker 3 (27:13):
Kid's the ale. You know when I got from the story,
this kid's an ale.

Speaker 4 (27:17):
Kid's a problem.

Speaker 3 (27:18):
She called him a criberry b Yeah, because he's five.
Of course he is crab baby, and put the TV
back on the cartoons. I did tell her that he
was watching the TV, and she told me, well, Jeff
likes the Raiders and they're playing today. Oh is that
the husband?

Speaker 4 (27:32):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (27:32):
Yeah, that guy. I told her that Jeff isn't able
to watch TV and that they would prefer my son
to watch TV. Anyways, she calls so much drama. I
swear if she could have had him transferred to the
city she lived in, she would have. Fast forward to
twenty eleven, Jeff and I were in the process of separating.
He was on some medicines that made him mean, hateful,

(27:55):
and aggressive. I didn't know it was the medicines that
were making him act that way. When we decided to separate,
he chose to go back to his mom's while I
stayed in our home. We had four kids. My first
son was now fifteen, my second seven, and my twin
girls five. We worked things out, but due to some
legal issues with some things, he had to go to
his mom's for We were on good terms. We were

(28:16):
good when he left us, but she took that time
and he was there to manipulate him and talk all
kinds of crap about me. She was able to convince
him to come get the kids on Christmas and not
bring them back. She talked to him into pretty much
kidnapping the kids. She thought they would be better off
with her.

Speaker 4 (28:35):
The mother in law. She's trying to take your kids.

Speaker 3 (28:38):
She's trying to puppet to your him him to take
the kids. I was to stay at home mom when
all of this went down and I didn't have much money.
I was able to get a full time job, but
it didn't start until February. She even got a lawyer
in the town I lived in. She lived six hours away.
They would get up really early and to town and

(29:00):
not tell me, take him to his doctor appointments, go
see lawyers, and then leave. She would have all the
kids call me on the way home and tell me
they were just in town and they were sad that
that they didn't get to see me. So that's six
hours away, and we'll wake up really early to take
them to everything they need to go to. Sir, so
they show she took them a kidnap them and she
can't say anything because she doesn't have enough money to

(29:21):
get a lawyer to charge them. Oh my god, Andre
technically still married.

Speaker 4 (29:28):
Yeah, it's fine, it's not kidnapping because it's with their dad.

Speaker 3 (29:31):
Long story short. I represented myself when we went to court.
I was able to maintain custody and get divorced from Jeff.
Represent yourself nice.

Speaker 4 (29:40):
I feel like, I mean, it sucks because it seems
like Jeff, it's like the medicine is causing this, but
but still no one like no one's on op's side
right now.

Speaker 3 (29:48):
Yeah, I wonder if you could divorce someone with chat
GBT better than a lawyer could. I think we're at
that age if you had an earpiece.

Speaker 4 (29:53):
Your honor, have you considered that twenty percent of and
then it just goes into like.

Speaker 3 (29:58):
Really specific data. There is a lot more to this,
but for time's sake, all into here. The court hearing
was in January. In February, he called me on my
birthday and said he missed us and wanted to come
back home. He was on new medicines that made him
wake up and he realized how bad things really were,
and he was not happy with his mom. He was
horrified at everything that had happened, and because he was

(30:20):
on the wrong antidepressants, he didn't realize what had happened.

Speaker 4 (30:24):
That's just really scary to think that like the medicine could,
which it can can totally change your personality.

Speaker 3 (30:30):
All to your brain ways and stuff. When he was
given the correct medication, it took him out of the
fog and he was able to see things clearly. So
we came back home and we ended up getting remarried.
Twelve twelve twelve oh she called him before the wedding
and begged him not to marry me. We should have
never gotten a divorce. His lawyer even pretty much said
that he told us that she should have stayed out

(30:52):
of it and let us live our lives. Jeff had
many health problems at epilepsy, high blood pressure, and a
plethora of other things wrong with him. Walking was almost impossible,
so we stayed home most of the time. On the
weekend of September ninth, as we were severalelebrating my oldest
son's birthday, his grandparents were in town and we all
went to visit them at a hotel. We had a

(31:13):
great day and was getting ready to leave. I went
to get the car and as I was waiting, my
son called me said there was something wrong with Dad.
I went back to the room and he was panicking.
He couldn't get up and he couldn't really move or talk.
We called nine to one one and realized he was
having a struggle. The next day, we thought he was
doing good until his brain swelled. I called his mom

(31:35):
and told her about what was going on. Monday, I
talked to the doctor and nurses and they let me
know that his best case scenario if we were to
come out of this would be he would have to
live in a nursing home on a ventilator. That was
the absolute basic scenario. That's not what Jeff would have wanted.
So I made the difficult choice of letting the suffering
end and let him go to heaven.

Speaker 4 (31:55):
I forgot about the title. I forgot about the title
of this story.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
That's tough.

Speaker 4 (32:02):
Oh that's heartbreaking.

Speaker 3 (32:04):
Dang, dude, that is such a tough thing to do.
Choice to make too Yeah, brain dead?

Speaker 4 (32:11):
Yeah, I mean, like you can't do anything.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
I told his mom all of this. She told me
not to take him off live support. She wanted me
to wait another week to see if he would come
out of this coma and be okay. I told her
I was told by the doctor, but she wanted me
to wait. I told her everything. I told her that
Tuesday he would be taken off live support. She did
not come down to see him, not once. She tried

(32:33):
to bash me on Facebook by saying thank you for
telling me my son passed on Facebook. I told her
he hasn't passed yet, that she had twenty four more hours.
I made the decision to donate his organs, so it
was going to be a few more days so they
could get things situated. By the way, you can get
situated with us every weekday at through PMPSD. You just
tap our profile and we go live on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch.

Speaker 4 (32:55):
Oh my god, what a what just really heartbreaking And
for her to be like also, it doesn't even seem
like you know, Opip was like, oh, I didn't tell her.

Speaker 3 (33:02):
It seems like op, she's being very important to her.

Speaker 2 (33:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (33:06):
Maybe maybe we finished the story and we find out, Oh,
like she didn't tell her the day on the day.
Seems like you've told her multiple times what the deadline
is for this, and she doesn't care.

Speaker 3 (33:17):
And it's really weird that not only your son is
at the hospital, he doesn't have much time left. You
haven't seen him.

Speaker 4 (33:25):
Yeah. No, this mother in law is terrible.

Speaker 3 (33:27):
That is wild. This is where I could be the
a hole. The nurse asked for permission to give Karen
the information about Jeff. I told the nurse, no, this
was Tuesday. Jeff didn't end up passing away until Friday,
the sixteenth of September. Karen did not make the trip
to say goodbye. She didn't even come to give her
grandchildren any support because of the fuss she caused on Facebook.

(33:50):
A lot of people told her off how she can
still see him. She didn't even come to his funeral.

Speaker 4 (33:55):
That's just terrible.

Speaker 3 (33:56):
I never liked her, and she never liked me. She
calls her son so much grief and heartache when he
was alive. There's so much I'm leaving out here due
to length and time. So am I the a hole
for not letting the nurse talk to her about my
husband's terminal condition. You're not the lying oursh No, not
at all. Which ways does the interstate go two ways?

Speaker 4 (34:15):
And she never drove down to see her husband, yeah,
or her son.

Speaker 3 (34:19):
And she had more than twenty four hours to go,
so yeah, oh yeah, then it ridiculous. That's so crazy.
I think she felt so prideful that whenever people backlashed
on her on Facebook, yeah, she's like, I'm done, I
can't do anything.

Speaker 4 (34:33):
Yeah, She's like, everyone hates me. You're cheaping my brain.

Speaker 2 (34:35):
You know, take a hate comment?

Speaker 3 (34:37):
We take them all the time.

Speaker 4 (34:38):
Yeah, yeah, we take them like a champ.

Speaker 1 (34:40):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (34:41):
Just get you get hit, what do you do?

Speaker 4 (34:44):
Get back up? But that is the end of that story.

Speaker 3 (34:46):
I was a bummer.

Speaker 2 (34:47):
Yeah, sorry friends.

Speaker 4 (34:49):
So sorry, yeah, I hope everyone's okay.

Speaker 1 (34:51):
Hey, it's Sam, your og host. Here. We're gonna get
back to the stories. But here's three minutes of bads
from our sponsors. My mother book the next door cruise
room for our honeymoon without permission.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
Oh, she's gonna be here and all kinds of stuff
she shouldn't be.

Speaker 1 (35:07):
She's putting her ear to that door. So my future
husband twenty seven and I twenty two are getting married
next year on a four day cruise. I've literally never
been more excited in my life. Not only will I
be marrying the man of my dreams, but we will
get to enjoy a long and luxurious honeymoon right after.

(35:28):
By the way, this comes from leather Job eleven fifty
four on our slash Okay, story timeber it's so for
future for context, we have booked a consecutive cruise right
after our wedding cruise for our honeymoon.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
That's commitment to a lifestyle.

Speaker 1 (35:46):
We wanted to have our own time because we both
find socializing quite exhausting, so we know that the four
days after the wedding will be very demanding for us
both and it won't feel like much of honeymoon. Both
of our families can be quite overwhelming and stressful to
be around in short doses, so we are very prepared

(36:08):
for the challenge. What I was not prepared for was
my mother telling me she booked her ticket and she
asks the cruise company to book her room right next
two hours.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
Eh.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
Why important points? My mom has history of doing things
like this to me. I am not as physicist, but
I've done a lot of research into mental health and
mental health disorders. I think my mother presents as a
textbook covert narcissist. As you can imagine, this has made
my relationship with her extremely challenging and strained my dad

(36:45):
in her divorce when I was seven, and she still
to this day holds a massive grudge and puts him
down whenever possible. I unfortunately lived with her. She abused
me my whole life, and I had to move out
just before I was sixteen. The final straw was when
she tried to force me to sleep on a dirty
mattress on the floor when I had two perfectly good beds.

(37:10):
This was all because my dad took me to see
his sister after several years, who my mom ate. We've
had many attempts at amending the relationship, but every time
it goes the same. She says she'll treat me better,
she'll change, and then once I forgive her, she goes
back to her usual ways. She's very good at using
the things she's learned in therapy and self help books

(37:33):
to justify her fed up actions. She always plays the
victim and uses every trick in the narcissist Handbook to
get out of taking accountabilities. She always seems to enjoy
crossing my boundaries. For example, when we had her over
to our house for the night, just before bed, I
spilt something on my shirt and I had to take

(37:54):
it off and put it in the laundry, leaving me
fully exposed from the waist up. I had asked her
to go into her room slash not look as I
ran upstairs, because I was not comfortable with my mother
seeing me nudy booty as an adult.

Speaker 2 (38:11):
So I'm confused. You don't understand how to make it
so people can't see you getting changed. Go into a room,
go somewhere.

Speaker 1 (38:19):
He's like, go into your room. I'm going to be Oh, dear,
don't look, please, don't look.

Speaker 2 (38:25):
I'm changing in the communal area. Everyone to their quarters immediately. Instead,
she tried to watch me. It was so weird and violating.

Speaker 1 (38:36):
It was only thanks to my partner insisting that she
stop and go to a room that she didn't. This
freaked both my future husband and I out, but she
played it off like she was joking. I was joking.
I didn't want to actually cop a peak unless you
wanted me to.

Speaker 2 (38:49):
That's such a weird situation for both parties.

Speaker 1 (38:52):
I just want to see how things have changed since
you were a baby. I just want to update, you know,
check for any moles that might be there.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
Oh pee, get changed in a bathroom. For God's sakes,
what are we talking about.

Speaker 1 (39:02):
Although I will very likely take a break from talking
to her after my wedding, I still want her there.
Some of my reasons are related to the fear that
my mom's side of the family will not attend if
I exclude her. Her family is very supportive of her,
Her mother is exactly the same, if not worse, and
they all still include her. But I mostly still hold

(39:25):
a little hope that one day she will get better,
and I don't want to regret not having her there
for such a special day. I also do care about
how she feels, and I feel like excluding her would
crush her too. My future husband and I were very
careful not to tell her or anyone else our room number,

(39:45):
as we were trying to avoid this exact situation. But
she just wants to give like, you know, pointers on
the wedding night, you know, like a like a football
coach saying like, all right, you gotta do the hail
Mary play as all right, no, no, no, a little bit
to the left, swinging those hips.

Speaker 2 (39:59):
She might be a narcis because she's giving off the
vibes of like, yeah, I know how to do that
the best.

Speaker 1 (40:03):
If I could, I would have gone the whole trip
without giving her my room number, because she has demonstrated
time and time again she has a no respect for
me as a person, and she goes out of her
way to cross my boundaries. So she has clearly gotten
the cruise line to give out our information. In hindsight, yes,
we should have made it clear to the cruise company
that our room number was not to be given out

(40:24):
under any circumstances. I really feel like they should just
be giving out room numbers to anyone.

Speaker 2 (40:28):
That asks, well, I guess once their last names line up,
they start to ease up pretty quick. I would assume
that's gotta be why because it's her mom.

Speaker 1 (40:35):
But I honestly never thought that anyone would do something
like this. It's honestly so creepy and disturbing that she
would even want to be in the room next to
us on our wedding night slash honeymoon. When she brought
it up, I expressed my discomfort and she told me
I was being stupid. The walls are soundproof, I checked.

Speaker 2 (40:55):
This is weird behavior, This is very weird. She's like, Honey,
your father and I booked the same cruise, and your
grandmother was on the other side of that wall. She
tried her best, but she didn't hear a thing. And
I guarantee you you're not louder than me and your dad.

Speaker 1 (41:12):
The cruise people wanted us all to be in the
same area, and I should just stick it up because
I am having a separate honeymoon cruise after and I
should spend the first cruise with her anyway, because she's
making such a big effort to come. So my partner's
family and my dad are both booked on different floors.
And said the cruise company never mentioned anything about wanting
all the guests to be together. Also, I have no

(41:34):
problem with spending time with our guests on our wedding cruise.
We are so grateful that they are all joining us.
But I don't want the expectation that my partner and
I will give up all alone time right after we
get married. Is this something that the cruise company should
be responsible for fixing. I don't even know if they
are able to move someone's room once they have paid

(41:54):
for it. I understand that it's probably not normal to
want your mother to know your room number, and that
she probably made it seem like we have a loving,
close relationship, but they should not have given my information out. Yeah,
they totally shouldn't. That's on them. Unfortunately, we cannot change
rooms as we book a deluxe sweet extra padding on

(42:15):
those walls so no one can listen in and there
are no more available. By the way, we're always available
for you to join us live on YouTube and Facebook
every weekday at three pm PST. And we're probably live
right now, so just have our profile. There's another relevant update, Dakota.
But what do you think is the solution for when

(42:35):
your mother wants to listen in on your sweet honeymoon
love making right after you get married.

Speaker 2 (42:41):
Get as loud as possible. I'm sorry, I'd interject, get
as loud as possible. Make it as weird as possible.

Speaker 1 (42:45):
That's what she wants. She wants to hear.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
Your first avenue needs to be trying to like strong
arm the cruise line into being like, hey, I know
you gave out my information, which is like, first you
need to figure out if they shouldn't do that or
if they can't do that, So then press them on
that and be like, because you did that, I'm either
going to lawsuit you for the cost of my ticket,
or y'all can move her somewhere else, or move us
somewhere else, or give us a free cruise at a

(43:10):
different time. And if that doesn't work, then you have
to go like Ocean's thirteen style, like on your I
don't know if anyone knows this scene where the it's
like they stink bomb somebody out of their room. You
have to like make her experience miserable enough to where
she just wants to get out of that room. But
really that's not super realistic. Call the cruise you really

(43:31):
think the cruise is going to accommodate one party if.

Speaker 1 (43:34):
There's two people with the deluxe rooms and they could
just switch.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
Didn't they just say it that was like one of
the last ones or something that.

Speaker 1 (43:39):
Let someone who's already gotten that room could just switch
with Ope.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
Yeah, exactly, you just move her down like one. And
this is Op's mom, and so it's the husband's mother
in law. So if all else fails, what you definitely
need to do is tell your mom that after this trip,
like you're going no contact because of her consistent lack
of respect regarding your boundaries and your wishes as a adult.

(44:09):
You're on like a wedding cruise with your new husband,
and your mom wants to be in the room right
next to you.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
I feel like I have a hard time putting down
a hard and fast like permanent walls, and so I
would say, like, hey, where we'd have limited contact or
low contact. I don't know if I would go no
contact all.

Speaker 2 (44:26):
The way, not permanent no contact.

Speaker 1 (44:28):
But we got a little bit more of this update.
I also don't think talking to her about it will
do anything. I already tried to address it when she
brought it up, and she completely dismissed me and my concerns.
Like I said, she is amazing at playing the victim
and redirecting. She keeps throwing the fact that she is
paying to attend the wedding in my face. And yeah,

(44:49):
if she's attending the wedding, she gets to attend all
parts of that holy matrimony.

Speaker 2 (44:55):
I just want to make sure that you know what
you're doing.

Speaker 1 (44:58):
She keeps going the fact that she's paying to attend
the wedding my face and saying I should be more grateful.
I could go into the conversation prepared and less shocked,
but I feel like it just ends in a big
fight and no solution. I'm willing to just it up
if it comes to it. But I thought I would
come here to hopefully get some advice and reassurance. And

(45:18):
I'm not crazy for not wanting to share a wall
with my mother on my honeymoon. I think we can
all agree that Opie is not crazy.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
I wouldn't be super comfortable doing that. So if you're
too uncomfortable to even enjoy each other and like there,
I think the move is to like make it like
a joke, so it's like just figure out, like a
way to like bang the headboard against the wall and
like just say stuff.

Speaker 1 (45:44):
But we have so much evidence that this mom is
just like I want to know everything going on with
my daughter.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
I really don't know if that's what that was. I
think it was more of the narcissistic like she could
not let go of somebody telling her one thing she
had to do because she's like, can you please turn
around and not look at me? And like the narcissist
is gonna be like, you can't say that you're my daughter.
I'm in charge of you. I think that's what it is.
I'm your mother. I can do what I want to do.

(46:11):
I adored my stepfather until his passing revealed a betrayal.

Speaker 1 (46:18):
Did he come back, as it goes and confess his sins?

Speaker 2 (46:21):
Growing up, I female twenty eight, had a great relationship
with my dad. He was my stepfather, but our family
was blended well in that aspect where we did not
use the term step and there was no contention over that.
By the way, this comes from user polite Pumpkin on
the r slash Okay Storytime sub reddit. So there were

(46:42):
other issues that nobody knew about at the time, though
that's not really relevant to this story. My second earliest
memory is my parents sitting me down and telling me
that I could call my father dad if I wanted to.
From that day on, he was my dad. We did
everything together. There was a five your age gap between
my brother and I, so while he was going through

(47:03):
his teen years, I was still young enough to want
to do everything with my parents. My mom, while not
a bad parent, was kind of an absentee. It wasn't
that she wasn't around, but she always had to be
doing something. She never wanted to sit at home. But
my dad was more than content to let me tag
along wherever he.

Speaker 1 (47:23):
Was going, kind of like Elon Musk and his little
kid X just like brings him everywhere.

Speaker 2 (47:28):
We went everywhere together for the most part. His friends
all knew me, and I'd regularly attend dinner parties and
the like with them, as I wasn't old enough to
be home alone, and even if I was, I wouldn't
want to stay home with my brother for a good reason.
All this to say that growing up, I was closer
to my dad than my mom. He was my hero.

(47:50):
I looked up to him and I wanted to be
just like him. When I grew up, I thought that
man walked on water. He and my mom had what
I thought was a fair tail relationship. They were what
I wanted in the future with my partner. They never argued.
The one time that they did argue was such a
surprise that we were worried our parents would get divorced

(48:11):
because it never happened. I guess that was the first
time he showed that he could be sneaky and lie
so easily. Does it count as lying if you just
don't argue in front of the children. I don't know.
That sounds like what ops implying, though chronologically the reason
I can't forgive my stepfather actually happened before this. This

(48:33):
is just how things played out from my perspective. Anyway.
He sent us to visit my grandparents across the country
for the entire summer. He'd originally planned to come with us,
but then couldn't get off work. At least that's what
he claimed. When we got back. Things seemed fine until
we went to a family gathering and someone made a
comment about my dad's cancer treatment cancer we had no

(48:56):
idea about. He sent us away without tell telling us
his diagnosis. While he got treatment and suffered alone. My
mom was pissed, and now, as a married woman, I
would be shattered if my husband didn't feel like he
could turn to me for support in a situation like that.
Things continued on from that after the anger cooled down

(49:17):
and we continued life as normal. I wasn't a perfect child,
and my dad and I thought. I'm not saying that
there were never any situations where we were angry at
each other, but he was always there when I needed him.
When I got pregnant as a teenager, he was so
angry at me, but he was there to hold my
hand in the delivery room. He hated that I got

(49:38):
married right out of high school, but he was there
to walk me down the aisle.

Speaker 1 (49:42):
Sounds like he's like a pretty good guy. Like, yes,
I understand not sharing a cancer prognosis, especially to your wife,
is not like a good thing to do. It's not
good for your communication and your relationship. But I feel
like it's born out of a desire to like not
infect the family and his partner with the heaviness of

(50:06):
that diagnosis.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
It's not like a Oh, I'm gonna get him, I'm
gonna pull the coolest prank ever. On these guys. It's like, no,
it's real complicated when you get a diagnosis that serious.
He hated that I moved eight hours away by car,
but he was there for my daughter's second birthday. That
was when he confided to my mom that he was
wrong because he realized when he visited how happy my

(50:29):
little family was. He hated that I ended up moving overseas,
but he was there to FaceTime me almost every night.
He got sick not long before my daughter was born.
We all knew about it from the beginning. This time, though,
there was no way for him to hide it. This time,
even if he wanted to. I was there in the
car with him when he suddenly started getting horrible back
pain that wouldn't go away. He ended up having my

(50:51):
mom take him to the hospital after she got off work,
and he was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that was
attacking his kidneys. I can't remember the exact name right now,
but he was on chemo for the last few years
of his life. He never showed how bad it was
and always took longer to accept doctor's orders when it
came to mobility aids. In the end, he was using

(51:11):
a cane even though the doctor told him he really
needed a walker. He was a stubborn man like that.
I was the last person to talk to him before
he passed. I regret how that conversation went so much now,
not because we argued or ended the call on bad terms,
but because it was mostly like every call we ever had.
He was so tired, he was falling asleep on the phone.

(51:34):
Even now, when my view of him has changed, I
still wish I had stayed on the phone longer with him. Instead,
I told him it was okay if he wanted to
go to bed, I told him he could just call
us later. The next morning, I got a call from
his phone, and it was really early in the morning
back home, at three or four in the morning. I
just assumed he woke up early since he went to
bed early. But instead it was my mother calling to

(51:55):
give me the news that he had passed in his sleep.
That that have to reckon with.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
I'm so confused why she's so mad at him so far,
I don't see it. I'm like still a little confused.

Speaker 2 (52:06):
Something happens, something comes to light that she realizes that
all of his past actions were some kind of lie.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
That's my bet because so far right now, without the
context or whatever she's about to bring up, like, I'm like, oh, like,
this is like guy that's trying his best, not someone
who's trying to screw people over.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
My husband and I made arrangements to travel back home
for the funeral and to be there with my mom.
It was after the funeral that she told me something
that changed my view of my dad. She went to
get things figured out with the mortgage company. It's important
to note that while the home had been in my
dad's family for generations, he and my mom bought it
when they were already married, so the mortgage was taken

(52:45):
out after they were married. When she went to get
the paperwork, she figured out that they told her that
she wasn't on the mortgage. She didn't think that could
be right because while she didn't actually go to the
meetings to purchase the house, she signed all the paperwork
my dad brought home to put her name on the
mortgage deed.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
Seecret family, secret family.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
What he really had her sign was forms forfeiting her
rights to any claims on the house.

Speaker 1 (53:14):
Always read the contract or, at the very least put
it into chat gbtn say you're a lawyer chat what
should I be aware of?

Speaker 2 (53:23):
So she had no legal right to the home at all.
My brother refused to do anything to help with the situation.
He couldn't accept the house as legal next of kin
because he would lose his benefits, so instead he refused
to help or sign anything at all. Since my mom
signed that paper, she wasn't even entitled to half the
house like she would have been under the state inheritance laws.

(53:45):
I can understand why he did it at the time,
but he was so sneaky about it, and I think
that was so wrong. At the time, he was the
only one working, he'd lost a lot in the divorce
he had with my brother's biological mom, and he was
afraid of losing the house if anything happened between him
and my mom. What I cannot forgive is that he
knew he was passing. He knew for years that he

(54:08):
wouldn't get better, but didn't try to fix what he
had done. He could have come clean and admitted to
what he'd done, but instead he just did nothing. My
childhood home was foreclosed on because my brother refused to
do anything about it, and my mom had no access
to any of the information and she didn't have the
money to buy it outright. Wow, I can definitely understand

(54:29):
this completely changing your opinion of somebody.

Speaker 1 (54:32):
So really quick. Op stepdad took out OPI's mom sneakily because.

Speaker 2 (54:40):
He was paranoid that it was like they would get
divorced and then she'd like it would be a bad
one and she'd take the house. He was pre emptying,
or they were having like a fight or something like.

Speaker 1 (54:49):
I don't know, surprising that after that went that blew
over that he didn't go and change that. Maybe he
was worried that she would catch it, you know, I
don't know.

Speaker 2 (54:58):
Maybe he thought the brother would take care of or
his son, but the son did absolutely nothing. I mean,
I guess once you do that, now you're living the lie.
And now you can't just be like, hey, I'm just
gonna undo this, Hey can you sign this document again.

Speaker 1 (55:13):
It's not the worst thing that we've ever seen happen,
but it's also not great. And I can see how
seeing this action would color every other small slight being
like what else is he hiding? You know, because this
is like this almost seems out of character based on
everything that we've heard about this guy.

Speaker 2 (55:29):
I feel like the way I saw my dad has changed.

Speaker 3 (55:33):
Now.

Speaker 2 (55:34):
While I still love him, my view of him has
been tarnished a bit. The more I look at the past,
the more moments I realized that he wasn't really the
man I thought he was. I'll never get that back,
and it devastates me. And there's an edit. I fixed
a couple errors in the post, and I want to
clarify a few things. My dad was not in hospice,
and he was not in the hospital when he passed.

(55:54):
He had an autoimmune disease that was being treated with chemo,
but he did not have cancer. My mom was absent
a lot of my childhood. That was not really anything
against her. I had the option of going with her
to her friend's house or to visit my aunt or
wherever she was going, but I didn't want to. It
was boring and I would have rather eaten fancy cheeses

(56:15):
at my dad's friend's houses than watching my mom play cards.
It helped that there were usually other kids at the
places my dad was going, and if not, I liked
his friends, and if I'm one hundred percent honest, he
was just my favorite parent. My mom was there for
my dad while he was sick, though he did not
need her to be his caretaker. He actually told me
she wouldn't stop hovering. He liked his independence and he

(56:37):
never actually lost that, though my mom was a bit
more of a mother hen he could drive and walk
with the assistance of a cane until the end of
his life. I really don't like the comments bashing my mom.
I agree she was stupid for signing those things without
reading them, and there was more she could have done.
But she was a good mom and she was probably
just trusting her husband. Which, by the way, I trust

(56:59):
that all of you will tune in every weekday at
three pm PST to catch our live stream on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok,
and Twitch. Just tap on our profile and you're in.
You might even be live right now. So before we
finish this story, because there's a little bit story left,
I think we collect our thoughts a little bit on
this mysterious situation. Why did he not put the house

(57:23):
back in his wife's name.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
I think, like what you said earlier about the brother
maybe taking care of it, maybe he thought it would
be fine. Maybe it was like he did it once
out of fear and didn't want to get caught in
the lie. Though, like the examples op brought up don't
feel the same as what he did.

Speaker 3 (57:44):
Hear.

Speaker 1 (57:44):
My read on this is this is like if there's
not other examples, this feels like one bad, scared decision
rather than a fully emblematic action that shows his character.
But I would love to hear what the end of
the story.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
To get into this. I didn't mean to imply that
my mom was never there to parent me or involved
in my life. I just meant that if we had
nothing going on, she was not going to be sitting
in the house watching TV. She did take us to
do plenty. There were things she did with us that
my dad didn't like, taking us swimming every summer. Dad
couldn't swim and rarely ever got into the water, and

(58:20):
riding all the roller coasters with us at the amusement park.
She would take us to visit cousins and aunts and
uncles on her side. She just never liked being stuck
in the house without any interaction with other adults. And
that is the end. There's a little clad on there
about mom's tendencies.

Speaker 1 (58:36):
Opie's stepdad brought papers to Opie's mom with Mom thinking
there were mortgage papers, but they were papers to forfeit
any right to the house. Is that not illegal?

Speaker 2 (58:45):
Probably? Yeah, it probably is illegal. But at the same time,
if you sign a document that you had the ability
to read and it just didn't read it, I don't
know if that's like a loophole or what, but it
is crazy. This is just one of those things. I mean,
sometimes one action can undo like a lifetime. I'm of
good actions because now this one thing is going to
be at the forefront of OPI's mind.

Speaker 1 (59:05):
And especially you know, it's like I think diving into
that one action won't define you if you try to
make that right.

Speaker 2 (59:14):
But again, it's at that point, you know, maybe his
head's not clear enough to remember. Chemo's a nasty cocktail stuff.
Man Chimo really messes you up here. It's John e
og Host here.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
We're gonna get back to the stories.

Speaker 2 (59:26):
But here's a quick three minute break of ass from
our sponsors.

Speaker 1 (59:28):
My mother is a narcissist, so I'm planning to cut
her off for my pregnancy.

Speaker 2 (59:34):
Ooh, snip snip, little bit.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
What I've been really struggling with this one. I'm thirty
nine female, I'm an only child, and growing up with
my mother was very difficult. On one hand, she always
made sure I was well dressed. We had a clean house,
and she cooked meals every day. She made sure I
was well presented when she sent me off to school
and by the way, this comes from Kitty and Puppy

(59:57):
Mama on the r slash Okay story time Subredditsel the
other hand, she treated me like her little punching bag.
It never seemed to view me as a real person.
All my childhood memories are of her screaming at me,
slamming doors, throwing my nice toys in the trash when
she was mad at me, telling me to shut up

(01:00:18):
and go away, embarrassing me by screaming and I mean
screaming at me when I had friends over or when
she wasn't doing this, ignoring my existence entirely.

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
That doesn't sound very mom like. That sounds terrible. I
wish I could have been your mom. I'd be a
better mom than that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:38):
I never know what I'd do wrong, but I was
always punished. It was calm for me to come home
from school say hi, Mom. I'd be back with a
cold glare, and then to be told I know what
I did no further explanation. One example is that it
was Christmas vacation. I was home for a week. My
dad had also taken time off from work. My mom

(01:01:00):
was decorating the house and she lost the container the
tree angel came in. She immediately accused me and my
dad of conspiring to hide it from her as a prank.
When we both swore we didn't have it, she flew
into a rage, slamming cabinets, vacuumum when we were trying

(01:01:21):
to watch TV, making both of us afraid to cross
hero out. Eventually she found the container, which had fallen
behind some other stuff in the closet. She did not apologize,
she still insisted we must have done it, So this
is just an example of the kind of stuff I
grew up with. Then she go to church or picnics
or whatever, smile at everyone and tell them all how

(01:01:42):
proud she is of me and how happy we all are.
I hate the posturing, And as soon as I got home,
this nice mom was gone and she was back to
stonewalling and snapping at me. So not that my mom
has never done anything nice or caring. Sometimes she has,
but always makes me very cautious because I've seen how
she uses it later as something she can take away.

(01:02:03):
And when I was in college my dad passed away,
she immediately, and I mean the same day, started going
through the closet and throwing his clothes in the trash.
I was screaming, crying, begging her to stop. She told
me to shut up and go to my room. I
was giving her a headache. You never help with the
funeral and left me, as a young adult, to do
it myself. After the funeral, we all went out with

(01:02:25):
extended family to get a little lunch. She criticized what
I ate and told me I was unhealthy and would
get fat. So again, just an example of what I've
dealt with all my life. There's a lot more, but
we'd be here all day.

Speaker 2 (01:02:38):
So just quickly, if anyone you know finds themselves in
a situation like this, get away from this person, especially
if you're still like under the age of eighteen, like
find a support, find a family member, find someone you
can confide in, because this intense negative behavior is not acceptable.
It's not okay, and you don't have to put up
with it just because you fell into this situation.

Speaker 1 (01:03:00):
And this is not normal behavior. I think something that's
really hard about being child raised in this kind of
environment is it's hard to know what's normal. It's hard
to know that, like you know, being yelled at all
the time is not what everyone experiences because the only
ever experience like what you know at home.

Speaker 2 (01:03:17):
And that's why stories like this could be really powerful
because it allows people to go, wait a minute, that
sounds like what I go through, But they're saying that
this is not normal.

Speaker 1 (01:03:25):
Hmmm, it's very important. But now we're gonna go onto
the dad. So my dad was super peaceful, a kind
person who loved my mom, even though I truly believe
she doesn't have the capability to love anyone but herself.
I've seen her treat everyone I care about monstrously. She
didn't even show up when her own parents were in
hospice dying, and her reason is they know why. I

(01:03:50):
don't know why. Her siblings don't know why, and I
am one hundred percent sure they passed away not knowing why.
She has no rom there. There's no regrets about this.
And even though my dad did everything to make her
happy and I never yelled back, and he tried to
give her what she wanted, all she has to say

(01:04:10):
about him now is what an a hole he was.
She makes up stories about him being a booziolic, which
he wasn't. He didn't even drink socially, and abusive, which
again I promise he never was. With a gambling problem.
He didn't gamble either. Because my dad has been gone
for so many years. She makes new friends at church
or in social circles that makes up whatever lies she

(01:04:32):
wants about how close we are we aren't, and how
she was a single widowed mom struggling to put me
through college she never gave a dime I to pay
my loans, books, courses, et cetera, one, one hundred percent
by myself, and also how bad her marriage was. She
doesn't tell these lives in front of me because she'd
be embarrassed if I called her out, but they get
back to me through the grape vine, and she denies

(01:04:55):
it when I confront her. The hard truth is that
she never just seemed to care about now anyone, much
less me. She'll take me to lunch in a movie,
buy me a cute gift now, and then say she
loves me. And I really cling to these moments and
try to believe them, but our whole relationship depends on
me just pretending that my entire life with her never
happened and accepting that she'll never take accountability. I want

(01:05:18):
to stop right here really quick, and there's more of
the story about halfway through, but I want to ask
a question. In this scenario where you have a mom
that was so terrible, so abusive, and now we have
this change that seems actually pretty good, do we accept
the change? Well?

Speaker 2 (01:05:35):
I feel like the change is all built on the
pretext that you have to never bring up the past
and the reality that you lived in. You can't press
her on anything because as soon as you do, it's
going to rivert right back to this. So if you
do maintain this sort of above board, I guess I
don't know if that's the right phrase, but just sort
of like it's managing the appearance of the relationship, you're

(01:05:59):
just on auto being like, I know I can't say this,
I know I can't say that. I definitely can't press this.
I don't think that she's changed up in a real way.
Who knows why she's operating that way.

Speaker 1 (01:06:08):
By read on this, like, is she realized the air
of her ways without accepting the responsibility of her actions.
That's my read. It's like, all right, frick, Like I
realize I need to be better to my daughter, Like
this is a person that I want my life. So
I'm gonna actually start treating her well outside of like
just treating her well for appearances, Because now she's treating
her well in this one on one relationship, no longer

(01:06:31):
just treating her well in like a social dynamic where
she can win favor with friends. She is realizing that
she needs a change and like treat ope better, but
she's not willing to accept the responsibility, and so she's
kind of building this new relationship a little bit on
a lie or like unstable ground. But I do think
that she might actually want to be changing for the better.

(01:06:53):
I would love to know what you guys think. So
if I try to bring up something she's done, she'll
look me straight in the eye and that it never
happened that or she'll say it was my fault she
did it. So I'm in my third trimester of pregnancy
right now with a daughter of my own, and my
mom was initially so excited. She took me to my

(01:07:14):
doctor visits and was helping me out with things around
my house since my doctors told me not to handle
the cat letter or do any heavy lifting. It's a
high risk pregnancy due to a few factors, but thankfully
the baby and I have been pretty healthy so far.
Well about three weeks ago, I wasn't feeling the baby move.
I got really worried called my mom to ask if
she could take me to the er so I could

(01:07:34):
get checked. She got super exasperated, called me crazy, told
me I was being ridiculous, and no, she wouldn't give
me a ride because she was busy cleaning her kitchen.

Speaker 2 (01:07:44):
Kitchen's more important baby. This mom is getting the number fourteen,
the combo order number fourteen. You go through the sun,
get blended up in the Orc cloud, Your little bits
and bops get thrown into the black hole where they
become spaghetti, and then you get eaten by a bunch
of pigs. Pigs who were actually taken care of by
the ghost of James Gandolfini.

Speaker 1 (01:08:03):
I was going to call another family member to come
with me, but she'd made me feel so embarrassed that
I wondered if I was really being silly, and I
decided not to bother anyone. I jum myself to the er,
and I was so stressed that my blood pressure was
going through the roof and they had to take it
several times because they thought it indicated another emergency. The
team at the er took me seriously, did an autral sound,

(01:08:27):
and showed me that everything was all right with the
baby and everything was okay. They advised me to go
right to the hospital next time because they have better
equipment and will admit me faster. Later, when I talked
to my ob, she also told me that they do
take our concerns seriously and it's always okay to get
checked out. This all helped me to feel less crazy.
When I got home, my mom texted to ask how

(01:08:50):
it went. This honestly piss me off because she embarrassed
me when I asked for help let me go through
all that stress alone, and wanted to ask how it
went after the fact. I told her that her behavior
was extremely hurtful and that she's been treating me like
this all my life and I don't know why I
keep hoping it will change anyway. That was three weeks ago,

(01:09:12):
and she has been giving me the silent treatment ever since.
She was previously coming over to help me with heavy
lifting the trash and the cat litter. Again, not supposed
to handle that when you're pregnant because Katfeeess can harm
the baby and usually picks up a couple little things
for me at the store when she does her shopping,
but hasn't done any of that either. I'm being punished

(01:09:33):
for having feelings and being an entire human being. I've
never felt like your treatment was normal growing up. She
always told me I was a problem child and made
her act this way. Meanwhile, my aunt, uncles, cousins and
dad all had a great relationship with me and never
made me feel this way because it's not your fault.
How could it be that my mother thinks I'm so

(01:09:54):
horrendous but nobody else in my life has ever expressed
this to me. It doesn't add up.

Speaker 2 (01:09:59):
Well, France and your pants will have the answer for that,
but I will just blanket it as that's a mental illness,
and you were conditioned to feel a certain way by
you know, being brought up being told like the way
I'm acting right now is your fault. Of course you're
always going to say, what is it that I'm doing?

Speaker 1 (01:10:17):
It doesn't add out. The other day I was running
errands and talking to my unborn baby in the car
as one does little that's cute. I just kept thinking
how excited I am to meet her, how scared I
am about making sure she arrives safely in the delivery room,
and how there is no way I could ever hurt
her the way my mom hurts me, not just once,
but hundreds of times over almost forty years. I can't

(01:10:41):
imagine throwing her toys in the trash or not speaking
to her for weeks at the time. This is really
really not okay. If your child grows up feeling unloved
by you, then can you really say you love them?
To me, that seems like a failure. And you know,
we love all our children that come into our lives
every weekday at three on BSD, right here on YouTube

(01:11:03):
and Facebook, TikTok it Twitch, just have her profile come
on in. There was a little bit more to this story,
But yeah, I mean, it's not your fault, Op, But
at least you know Op knows what to avoid when
dealing with their.

Speaker 2 (01:11:16):
Child, and I feel like that might be what caused
Op to write all this in the first place, is
because after having her child, she started to realize, like, Okay,
there's no way my mom was behaving appropriately based on
how I feel with my kid. Something was going on.

Speaker 1 (01:11:31):
And I imagine you know this, Like I feel like
there's a lot of exploration of this relationship and Ope's
self worth in this post, and you kind of feel
like as she's writing it towards the end, she's like
recontextualizing that view of herself. She's like, how could I
be the problem? It's almost like she's asking it in
writing it. It's like, how could I be the problem

(01:11:53):
when all my aunts and uncles had a great relationship
with me? And she's literally discovering this in the moment, which, again,
like if you don't if you're not writing, you don't
even have to write and post online. But like writing
really allows you to like look at your thoughts in
your brain with a little bit more accuracy, a little
bit more objectivity, and it can be really really helpful.

Speaker 2 (01:12:15):
There's different ways to check in with yourself. But if
I don't, like at least write like a little bit
about what I'm thinking or what I'm feeling, like at
least every other day. I try to do it every day,
but if like, sometimes it'll slip for like a week
or two, and then I'll just realize I don't even
know what I'm thinking. I don't even know what's going
on because I'm not writing it down.

Speaker 1 (01:12:34):
It's like clearing a house. It's like organizing your room.
But we got a little bit more to the story.
So I'm thinking of going full no contact with my mom.
She is my only parent, and it's because nobody wants
to go through life without parents. I don't care how
old you are, but honestly, I don't know what to
do anymore. I go back and forth, feeling guilty, but
remembering that she has never once felt any guilt for

(01:12:58):
how she treats me, and that she ever apologize no
matter what she does. But somehow I always end up
apologizing to keep the peace. I just feel like I'm
losing my mind. You know, if this relationship is hurting
you more than it's helping you, I don't know if
it's a relationship that you need to keep close.

Speaker 2 (01:13:14):
And I don't think it's a relationship you would want
for your child either. Your mom has not earned a
relationship with your kid.

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My mother-in-law’s boyfriend caused CHAOS at my wedding… someone needs to stop him! - r/charlottedobreyoutube | Reddit Stories | EP2064

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My mother-in-law’s boyfriend caused CHAOS at my wedding… someone needs to stop him! - r/charlottedobreyoutube | Reddit Stories | EP2064