My parents ABANDONED me… now they demand my inheritance! - r/entitledpeople | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are
the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
But the thing is, this foundation needs a little support
from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll
get into the episode. My parents abandoned me. Now they
demand my inheritance.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
I demand you go back in time and don't abandon me.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
So I was born when my mother and father were
only seventeen. It forced both my parents to drop out
of high school and each get a ged so they
could find work right away. My father especially was not
happy about this because he had dreams of playing football
in college. Instead, he had to work at a gas station.
He said to my face many times that I ruined

(00:45):
his dream. By the way, this goes from I'm just
a neighbor on the r slash okay, sorry times, I'll
read it. So my mother hardly raised me at all,
and she had to work too. They had a cranky
old lady next door watched me most of the time.
She wasn't so bad. She gave me more attention than
my parents did. My father eventually managed to land a

(01:07):
better job as a manager due to his experience running
the gas station. It was right after that that my
mom got pregnant with my sister. Are they ready for that?
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
I mean, you know, maybe they've had a little bit
of practice, right.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
It was right after my mom got pregnant with my sister.
I was six when she was born. I wasn't exactly
shown much love before that, but once my sister came along,
it was made pretty obvious, even my six year old
self that I was unwanted. The only ones who seemed
to care were my paternal grandparents and somewhat my babysitter,
and they were more like my parents because they treated

(01:43):
me the way a little kid needed to be treated
and loved. We lived in a two bedroom apartment, and
as my sister got older, it went from me sharing
a bedroom with her to me kicked out of the
room entirely. I slept on the couch for two years,
and I barely had anything to my name than clothes,
school supplies, and an old game boy. When I was ten,

(02:05):
my parents decided they were going to move away, but
this move did not include me. I ended up actually
being fine with this, and my grandparents had agreed to
take me in and my life was instantly better. I
got my own room again, and my grandparents gifted me
a brand new N sixty four in nineteen ninety six.
That Christmas, I got a game Boy, a pocket game
Foot two, and there were a couple of kids my

(02:27):
age in the neighborhood. I got to hang out with.
We rode bikes, played video games, shot cans with pellet shooters,
built forts, and got dirty playing in the creek. You know,
stuff a normal kid would enjoy, you know, creeks. I
was finally happy. This time went on. I grew up
and eventually moved out, but later moved back in to
help my grandparents as they were getting old and living

(02:48):
off their retirement savings, so some rent money from me
went a long way in paying bills. My grandpa was
a kind of person who wanted to build a bomb
shelter during the Cold War, but never got around it.
He wanted to volunteer for the military in the sixties,
but was turned down due to a medical condition and
the fact that his eyesight was not great, so he
focused on saving whatever he thought he needed. He told

(03:10):
me many a time it was better to have something
and not need it than they needed to not have
it or our area suffered from numerous power outages and
winter due to heavy winds and storms, so having gasoline
and propane for heaters and generators was a must. All
these saving habits became my own as time went on.
So y'all are all preparing for the big one because

(03:32):
it was better to need this stuff rarely than not
have it at all. Of course, there was the hoa
bothering us, but that's his own other story. The problem
is about five years back, my grandma passed away suddenly,
and my grandpa was heartbroken. He also went about a
year and a half later. Pretty Much everything they owned
was willed to me. So Opie's not only rolling in

(03:54):
a creek, but rolling in cold, hard cash. I mean, dude,
if you have for a survival bunker, you got cash.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
This guy has five hundred pounds of gold buried around
the country. And then there's a secret will in the
black light ink that it's like a trail that leads
to a map under the bedroom floorboards that leads you
to the gold.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
Pretty Much everything they owned was willed to me. Their savings,
their house, their vehicles, their stuff. Everything. The house was
long paid off, and Grandpa knew how to keep up
with his maintenance. In fact, after Grandpa passed away kind
of doubled down on renovating the place. He had the
roof redone. The house was repainted by us inside and

(04:40):
begin out, and we fixed a lot of little things.
Grandpa's neighbor, Gorge, even came by to help redo the plumbing.
But ironically, the HOA was rather happy with these changes
because the house didn't look run down anymore. One morning,
I was fixing breakfasts and my grandpa never came downstairs.
You couldn't keep that man was bacon, probably with maybe

(05:01):
one of the reasons he didn't come downstairs. How was he,
I don't know, but I know bacon ain't good, too
good for your heart. So I went to check on
him and he wasn't moving. I called nine one one
in the paramedics game, only to tell me he'd passed
in his sleep. My parents made Grandpa's funeral a crap show.
They didn't bother to show up for Grandma's they were

(05:22):
too busy, and at Grandpa's funeral they didn't seem to
grieve at all. My sister also showed up wearing a
brightly colored designer dress, which I wasn't happy about as
it was a church clothes only function, and I noticed
my parents repeatedly whispering to each other and glaring at
me whenever I looked at them. Come to find out
at the will reading that my parents knew that they

(05:42):
had been disinherited long ago for their treatment of me.
So Opie's now finding out that they had been disinherited
like ages ago. And they thought it was extremely unfair
that I got everything. They threatened to assume me to
contest the well that chance chump. I want them to
be far below the creek so they never have access

(06:02):
to the joy of a creek. I want them every
creek that they have in recent memory and long forgotten
memory to be removed. I wanted to be men in
black little camera thing that removes the memory.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
I want to throw them in my creak and ride
him like a boogey board, you know, just strike for fun.

Speaker 1 (06:19):
They threatened to assue me, and I repeated calls and
messages from my father, mother, and sister telling me I
needed to do the right thing and give my father
what was supposed to be his. I told them all
the flake off in far more unsavory words. My parents
end up taking me to court to challenge the will,
but the judge ruled in my favor after seeing the

(06:39):
will and hearing us both out, so I wasn't a
long drawn out legal battle. The judge even looked at
my parents with absolute disgust after seeing the will and
hearing about their mistreatment of me and my childhood. He
called my father a terrible parent, that my grandparents were
right just to disown him. My father just hung his
head in silence, but he made sure to stop me

(07:01):
outside the courtroom and tell me I was always the
biggest mistake of his life.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
Hey, well, I guess what. You still don't get anything
from the will? Stupid. I would hope at this point
that op is just like doesn't It's like, you're not
even my dad, and my dad was my grandpa. You
were just some trash that happened to raise.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
And that if he could go back in time, he'd
make sure it never existed. He should have been a
football star, get out of here. Did imagine being that
much stuck in high school like man is living in
the past. Also, first of all, if you were really
that good in high school, maybe you would have gone
to like I don't know, D three D two college.

Speaker 2 (07:43):
I mean, that's why this guy's so pathetic.

Speaker 1 (07:45):
He thinks he was so much better.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
He's taken what could have possibly been one of the
best things to ever happen in his life and for
just the fantasy, so that he can hold on to
the toxic fantasy that eating away at him like a
career rrosive acid.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
He's absolutely delusional.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
And instead you could have had a beautiful son. You're
just a pathetic loser.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
He should have been a football star and said he
has to wear a name tag for a nine to five.
I told him that mistake or not, Grandpa and Grandma
could see what kind of nasty person he was. I
didn't ask to be born, and the only real love
I ever got was from my grandparents, and he was
no father of mine anymore. Snapso pee. I got a
few more threatening and harassing phone calls as well as

(08:28):
some letters for my parents, all demanding money, among other things. Yeah, freakin' right,
get out of here. But over time they stopped because
I completely stonewalled them, never responded to the emails or
the letters, and I stayed silent during the phone calls
a few times, I just left the phone sitting on
the counter with him ranting till they realized I wasn't listening.

Speaker 2 (08:52):
I just had a great idea on how to make
him upset. You make a compilation, you send it to
your dad, right, and your dad, and it says his name,
college football highlights, and then it just cuts to thanks
for watching, because there's nothing there. It's just a black screen.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
Yeah. Aside from not getting the house or money, my
parents seem particularly irked. They could not even get a
rise out of me. But I was prepared to go
to war against them and they do it, so in
the end, they just left me alone. From what I
know about looking at Facebook. The past decade, my sister
tried to get into modeling, got married, had two kids,

(09:26):
got divorced, and is currently unhappily working a job he
feels as beneath her. My mother currently works retail and
is also vocal about her disdain of it. Like my father,
she peaked in high school. She was a cheerleader back
then and even had an old uniform framed on the wall.
My father has pretty much had the same job for
twenty five years. He must have been good if he's

(09:49):
still doing it. By the way, if you're a good
little girl and boy, you should be listening to Okay
story Time the podcast wherever you get your podcasts, Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
just search Okay Storytime and I'll pop right up.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
It's right. You have forty seven days worth of Okay
Storytime to listen to.

Speaker 1 (10:06):
Yeah, twenty four hours, forty seven days. As for me, well,
I'm in my late thirties now and I live pretty
much debt free in a nice neighborhood. I haven't really
had a girlfriend since high school, and I've had little
motivation to ever have another relationship. But loneliness gets to everyone,
so maybe I'll try finding someone soon. Not many are
in the financial position I'm in at my age, single,

(10:28):
paid off house, two vehicles, and a decent amount in
the bank. I guess I could aim to be a stepfather.
That might be more at my speed. And that is
where that ends. What's freaking go opee? Don't give a
manity that money.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
If I was the judge hearing that, I'd be like, actually,
you're just gonna go to jail now.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
The judge spanked them like you don't deserve to be parents. Well,
bo bo bo bop.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
I refuse to lend my camper to my sister, even
though they desperately need it. You know what would fix
problems not going camping. My sister and her husband fell
on hard times because of the pandemic. They went from
renting a nice house having to rent a room from
a friend. It was supposed to be temporary, but they've
been in his house for an entire year and he

(11:15):
didn't have more than one room to spare to rent them.
By the way, this comes from Uncle Victor Throway on
the ar Slashoky storytime suffered it. I have a family
of my own and my house is full, so I
don't want them living with me. But I have a
vintage camper trailer in my backyard, one of those small
ones they call a canned hand type. It's had various
repairs over the years, including redoing the flooring and ceiling,

(11:37):
as well as getting a new axle, and it's in
pretty decent condition for being over fifty years old.

Speaker 2 (11:43):
Wow. I take this.

Speaker 3 (11:44):
Camper on yearly trips with friends and on camping trips
with my family, and I'm very anal about its upkeep.
My sister, though, has asked to borrow the camper numerous
times to put it in her friend's backyard so her
teenage son could have some privacy and use it as
a personal bedroom. But I know my nephew. He's destructive
with everything and would turn my camper into a total mess.

(12:06):
I imagine that he is so destructive that they want
to put him outside. They're buying him a doghouse. He's
not potty trained, and I'm certain they wouldn't want to
give it back whenever I need it because he'd already
be living in it. I know they can't simply go
out and get a camper off their own because ones
and usable conditions are not cheap, and right now they're

(12:28):
trying to save every extra time to get back on
their own feet. Recently, my sister has gotten our parents
involved and they think I should lend them the camper,
but I've refused. They won't let up and seem to
think that if they keep hounding me as a collective
that I'll give in.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
But I haven't no way ho they.

Speaker 3 (12:45):
Don't give in to them. But my wife is on
my side and has refused to let my sister and
brother in law in when I wasn't home. They have
a vehicle that can tow the camper. Oh, they could
steal it, so I don't trust them not to take
it if they can get in my backyard. My house
also has cameras, and my sister and brother in law
are aware of them. Now they say I'm the a
hole because I only use the camper a few times

(13:07):
a year and they need it now. But I worry
that they wouldn't want to give it back, much less
return it in the same condition.

Speaker 1 (13:14):
They are going to squat in your camper and turn
it into a tornado ravaged town.

Speaker 3 (13:20):
There's not even going to be pieces left of your camper.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
There's going to be nothing left except maybe some like
little red sparkle shoes.

Speaker 3 (13:28):
I firmly believe I'm in the right, but with my
parents and a sister constantly breathing down my neck, I
thought I'd come here for an unbiased opinion. Am I
the a hole for not lending them the camper and info?
I did suggest they get my.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
Nephew a tent put them outside.

Speaker 3 (13:43):
But they shot the idea down and called the tent temporary.
If anything, that just felt like another red flag to me.
And more info our parents don't live close anymore. They
moved several states away to retire a few years ago.
There is an update. What is wrong with this child?
Why didn't you need to make him live outside? Why
he is a tent even an option?

Speaker 1 (14:01):
Because he's a Tasmanian devil kid. He literally has not
been trained. He's a fair old child that's foaming at
the mouth. That's like squatting over the sink to take
his thumps like this is not someone you want in
the civilized area.

Speaker 3 (14:16):
I showed my sister and brother in law this post
after getting the verdict. My parents have seen it as well.
They're all very unhappy with me, but my parents have
backed off and say they won't bother me with it again.
I also spoke with my sister alone and went through
the rough estimates of what possible repairs to the camper
would be should my nephew damage it. My sister was

(14:36):
not happy to see those numbers. Then I called her
out on how they'd likely not want to return the
camper when I need it. But they also tried to
come to my house when I wasn't home to take
it without permission, and I told her I'd have no
problem calling the police if they ever try that. My
sister still tried to say her son needs the camper,

(14:57):
but I went through the comments on this post with her.
He became incredibly embarrassed and then got very angry. She left,
saying she won't bother me for the camper anymore, but
still stated she thinks I'm a jerk. I didn't reply
because I knew she was waiting to gaslight me. Just
waved her goodbye and she left. My brother in law
called me shortly after to yell at me, but he
had no leg to stand on other than they wanted.

(15:20):
I told him I'd contribute one hundred dollars per tent,
but they're on their own for the rest. They actually
agreed to the hundred dollars. So I guess my nephew
is getting a tent to live. He's living in a dent.
I'm sorry. If mom and dad bought you that you
can't live inside anymore and you have to live in
a tent, you're telling me that you wouldn't come on
this podcast ten years later and said that made me

(15:42):
live in a tent. You'd be shocked. I'd like to
thank everyone here for all their great advice. You gave
me what I needed to end this problem, and there
is enough to Hi everyone. A few days ago I
saw an animation of my old post, so I've come
here instead. I just want to say that things seemed
to get better after I made my sister and brother
in law give up on borrowing my camper. If they'd

(16:05):
gotten their hands on it, I likely wouldn't have gotten
back anytime soon short of getting the police or a
lawyer involved. They even try to show up at my
house to take the camper while I wasn't home.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
They don't own the camper yet They're claiming that they
need the camper for the sun that they're putting in
a tent.

Speaker 3 (16:21):
Yeah, presumably the sun has a room in the house.
But I showed my last post to my sister, brother
in law, and parents and they were furious at me,
but let go of the fact that my camper was
not up for grabs out of sheer humiliation and embarrassment,
especially after I brought up the amount of money that
could end up being owed to me in repairs should

(16:42):
they or my nephew damage the camper. That part made
my sister extra sore at me. I thought we closed
the books on this whole mess, But it seems closing
one book only opened another one. Things went downhill very
badly a bit over a month after my original post,
so badly I couldn't believe it was really happening, and
yet it did. Many here may not believe it either,

(17:05):
but it did happen. Some wondered if my sister and
brother in law were going to actually use the hundred
dollars I gave them to get my nephew a tent
to have his own space in the backyard. I admit
I had my doubts, but they followed through on getting
him one. Our parents sent them some money as well,
and they got my nephew a good sized so that
he can have a cot to sleep on, and a

(17:25):
small amount of simple furniture. I personally donated the cot,
as I had an old coleman. I gave him a
folding camping chair too. The boy got electricity in the
tent to be an extension cord from the main house
that tent is hooked up. However, he frequently complained about
the heat during the day and only had a couple
of those little Swedo air conditioners that you can just

(17:47):
put water in to keep his tent cool. Why is
he there all day? Though, honestly, I doubt the situation
would have been any different if he had my camper,
because it can get pretty hot inside of it too.
Now on to that happened a bit over a month later,
My sister and brother in law were evicted from their
friend's house. Apparently, while there was trouble with my nephew

(18:08):
needing his own space and being messy and defiant, they
were having more trouble with the friend, who was also
their landlord. They tried to smooth things over by putting
their son in the tent so he wouldn't be in
the house much to avoid trouble. I suppose that might
have worked had my sister and brother in law not
been caught with illegal substances, and I mean the very

(18:28):
bad ones, the kind that uses their friends slash landlord
went into the room while they were away and found
their stash. That's why they were evicted. So it wasn't
even the Sun's fault. They're probably blaming all that stuff
on the sun. Suddenly it made sense why in two
years they couldn't have afforded a small apartment to move in,
despite both of them working full time, their extra cash

(18:49):
just went right to their habits instead of saving it
like they claimed to have been doing. Looking back, they
did look a bit more unhealthy at the time, but
I assumed it due distress. Now I feel really bad
for this, Like, not only does he have to live
in a tent, but you know parents are going through
a law as well, and not long after being outed,
their habits put them behind bars. People who are on
heavy substances can go very wild in an instant, and

(19:15):
that's exactly what happened when their friends lush landlord gave
them an eviction notice for having found the substances in
his house. My sister and brother in law both got
physical with him and he called the police. That scared
them and they locked themselves in the rented room. Meanwhile,
my nephew was blissfully unaware of what was happening, as
he was just damon alone in his tent. The friend

(19:38):
landlord press charges and police soon arrested my sister and
brother in law because there were indoor security cameras that
caught the whole Altar Cay. I was very surprised about
what happened when I heard about it. I got a
call from the police station and I was asked to
take in my nephew since he could no longer stay
where he was. This was all aploy to get the

(19:58):
nephew in the camper. Since our parents are states away
and living in a retirement community, they couldn't take him in,
so it was up to me, and I did so.
I wasn't particularly fond of my nephew, but I realized
his upbringing really did not help our relationship, nor did
the fact that my sister and I don't really get along.
We brought his tent over to my place and set

(20:21):
it up in my backyard. He's still living in it,
even though we cleared the attic out for him. Okay,
so you've offered him an actual place to live.

Speaker 1 (20:30):
I mean it's an attic. Is that much better than
Harry Potter is a little under the cupboard?

Speaker 3 (20:35):
But he says he likes the tent better because it
feels like his own little house where he can just
be himself.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
So how good is the attic if the tent is better.

Speaker 3 (20:42):
We've even added a mini fridge I bought used in
there for him so we could have cold drinks when
he wants them. Currently, we're still working on becoming my
nephew's permanent legal guardians. My sister and brother in law
are both facing heavy charges they attacked a man, resisted arrests,
and were in possession of illegal substances, though they've actually
been very cooperative, albeit while dealing with withdrawal from no

(21:05):
longer being able to self medicate. I've been able to
see my sister and she said she and her husband
were so out of it on the day it happened,
they don't even remember attacking their friend. I don't know
if they're faking memory loss to try and get a
lesser punishment, or if they really were that high, but
I suppose it doesn't matter. It changes nothing since there
was CCTV showing the attack. They're looking into possibly getting

(21:28):
a plea deal when they go to court in November,
but even with that, they may be in prison until
their son is over eighteen. At least, I didn't have
the heart to risk the foster system on my nephew.
My wife has had my back on this too, and
we've been working as a team. What I mean like,
the circumstances have changed so drastically from the beginning of
the story, and op's really really risen here. My sister

(21:50):
and brother in law have signed over the title to
their suv to me, and the plan is to make
it my nephew's vehicle when he gets older, since he'll
be eighteen in three years, can sell it to get
him something that uses a lot less fuel. I already
had to pay to get the suv back from police impound.
That's money I know I'm never going to get back.
When my sister and brother in law get out of

(22:11):
prison in a few years, They're not exactly going to
have much to their name, so taking care of their
son and making sure he grows up in a better
environment feels like the least I can do. I mean,
you are doing a huge thing for this kid. For
those wondering about the substances, it wasn't entirely out of
left field. My sister was especially troubled in her teenage
years and struggled in her early twenties with the same substances.

(22:34):
He nearly got kicked out of college for it. Our
parents always dug her out of the mire and helped
her back on her feet. They even paid for her rehab.
We all thought she'd been cleaned for a long time,
but she admitted to me when I visited her in
jail that her husband also had the same addiction issues.
That's actually how they met, not in rehab, but in

(22:54):
a focus group after the rehab. They did not admit
this to any of us until recently. Why but with
the stress they faced in the past two years, falling
back into old habits became easy for them. I've tried
checking up on their former landlord to ask if he
was okay, for he wants nothing to do with my family.
He had some pretty offensive things to say when I
went over to gather my sister and brother in law stuff.

(23:17):
Once the police gave me the okay, and the man
actually threatened to pull a weapon on me while I
was carrying out boxes. He said he thinks my family
are all alike, a bunch of filthy, white trash sea words.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
Oh that's not too good.

Speaker 3 (23:32):
So I don't feel as sorry for him as I did,
since he's a pretty big jern. My nephew also confirmed this.
My kids weren't exactly receptive to their cousin being around them.
There's a bit of an age gap between them, and
they just don't relate to one another. And while my
nephew's messy, we make him clean his tent once a week,
and we make him shower at least two to three
times a week.

Speaker 1 (23:52):
I just think it's so weird that he's cleaning his tent.

Speaker 3 (23:55):
We live in a warmer climate, but now that the
seasons are changing, it's cooling down a little bit to
where he says the tent isn't so bad. He's got
a tablet, a laptop, a DVD player, and a Nintendo
Switch to occupy his time.

Speaker 2 (24:08):
Everything a growing boy needs right there.

Speaker 3 (24:10):
But we keep these things in the house whenever my
nephew is at home. It's way easier to steal out
of a tent than a house. After all, considering how
angry my nephew was before, he rarely shows his temper. Now, yes,
he makes it hard to get him to do his chores,
but as a whole, he's shown more improvement in a
couple months than I saw in three years. Of course,
I mean he's not around parents who are actively like

(24:32):
using substances.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
I'm surprised he's turned out as good as he has.

Speaker 3 (24:36):
He is extremely grateful, but also very solitary. We give
him a space most of the time, and I make
sure my kids don't bother him either. He's going through
a lot right now. My nephew plays a lot of
Zelda and Fortnite. At least those are two of the
games he plays that I know of. My kids love
those games too. We've also given my nephew the old
ten speed road bike I used to use years ago.
He rides at to and from school, as we live

(24:58):
about a mile away from the low high school. Thus far,
most of the drama from him has been school related.
He had to change to a different high school and
make new friends, which he wasn't particularly happy about. He
really doesn't like doing his homework and he's been fighting
with his teachers, but that's a problem many parents face
on the regular. He says. He's made a few new friends, though,
and I'm thankful for that. We're taking things one step

(25:20):
at a time, and so far it's slowly been getting better.
My nephew has also talked of one day getting a
part time job. For the record, he brought this up,
how is.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
He such a good kid being raised by like addicts
that seem to not be taking care of him at all? Like, Yeah,
he lives in a tent. He is incredibly well adjusted
for being a tent child.

Speaker 3 (25:40):
For the record, he brought this up, not me or
my wife. He says he needs to be ready to
be independent when he's eighteen. But we wouldn't kick him
out just for getting older. He's one of our kids
now too. After all, what a wild turn. You know what,
if this story doesn't end with this kid getting the camper,
I don't want it.

Speaker 1 (25:58):
You just need to win. I don't know if he
even he wants the camper. I think he likes his tent.

Speaker 3 (26:01):
How funny would it be if oh, he's like, hey,
you know what, like I thought you're growing up, thought
the camper would be great, And the son's like, thank
you so much, And he gets in the camper and
he dries off, and the parents like they like jump
out of the bushes and they're like pranked, and they
steal the camper, and it's all been like a ploy.

Speaker 1 (26:20):
I just want to give the kid a bigger tent.
I think that's what he means.

Speaker 3 (26:22):
I think he needs a room maybe, But if he's
willing to work hard and move on to working full
time or going to college, we'll encourage him. I just
don't want him ending up like either of his parents.
He seems to be far better off mentally without their influence.
Now anyway, it makes me regret not wanting to take
him in sooner. But I didn't know how bad things
really were to think this all started because my sister

(26:44):
and brother in law wanted my camper for their son.
And those of you who said they potentially wanted it
to skip down if they'd gotten a hold of it,
you may very well have been right. They were on
thin ice with their landlord and falling even deeper into
substance use. Thus far, though, my has been completely indifferent
to the camper, even though his tent is practically right
next to. He says, as long as he has his

(27:05):
own space, he's fine. Reminds me of what I was
his age. I enjoyed hanging out and spending nights in
the old shed my parents made into a playhouse for
me and my sister when we were kids.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
You know what, Yeah, is a tent that much different
than a treehouse?

Speaker 3 (27:20):
Yes, because he's living full time in this.

Speaker 1 (27:23):
Every kid's eighties dream is to live full time in
a treehouse.

Speaker 2 (27:27):
You know, I'm sorry?

Speaker 3 (27:28):
Did he read the box car kids, and he was like,
that's what I want.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
Maybe it sounds like he's a very outdoorsy young.

Speaker 3 (27:33):
Lad, but we are still required to have a room
at the ready for my nephew whenever a social worker
checks up on us.

Speaker 1 (27:39):
So it's like, you're worried about a social worker seeing
this kid's tent and taking him away from you.

Speaker 3 (27:45):
Imagine the freaking social worker comes and sees his kid
in a tent and they're like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
He loves his tent. He's swear he loves his tent.
He has the bulk of his stuff in the attic room,
but chooses to stay in the tent, which the social
worker didn't seem to mind since it was my nephew's
preferred place to hang out so long as an actual
room was available to him. We also have a seven

(28:07):
foot tall privacy fence all around the backyard and cameras too.
That helps my nephew feel safe back there at least,
so for now, I think we have it all covered.

Speaker 2 (28:17):
By the way.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
You can have us covered by listening to full episodes
with stories just like this. Just go to Okay story
Time on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or your favorite podcast app
and there is a little bit left to this story,
so we're just gonna run it.

Speaker 1 (28:31):
I say, we roll straight on into it.

Speaker 3 (28:34):
I probably won't update again, as it's pretty much a
guarantee my sister and brother in law are going.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
To be locked up for a few years.

Speaker 3 (28:40):
Our parents are especially mad at them about it, and
have thanked me to no end for taking my nephew in.
They want to fly over to visit this Christmas so
we can all spend time as a big family for
the first time since before the pandemic. And before I go,
I know some are probably going to ask where's brother
in law's family and all of this goodn't they out?
Why didn't my sister and brother in law ask them

(29:01):
for help? Well, the answer is they couldn't. I don't
know a lot. But brother in law spent the latter
half of his own childhood in the foster system. His
family aren't in his life. I don't know who they
are or where they are. He hated them so much
that he actually took my family name when he married
my sister. So they aren't involved whatsoever with my nephew.

(29:22):
And that is the end of this story.

Speaker 1 (29:27):
John. Here we're gonna get back to this juicy story,
but a quick three minute break of aths from our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (29:31):
I canceled the family cruise because my family doesn't appreciate me.

Speaker 2 (29:35):
Oh, ain't no cruise. You're cruising for a bruising Now
there we go.

Speaker 3 (29:41):
Ah, So my parents wanted to do a cruise for
the holidays. They invited me twenty five female, my boyfriend
twenty seven male, my brother twenty eight male, and his
girlfriend twenty six female. My brother, let's call him James
has always been the golden child. Some backstory. By the way,
this comes from Throwaway Vaka and if you want to
submit your stories, go to our slash Showkay story time
suppered it. So back in high school when James was

(30:03):
discovered to be selling pills, he was just going through
a phase. Meanwhile, when I got caught smoking weed, my
parents threatened to kick me out. James lost his scholarship
and dropped out of college three different times, but he's
still perfect. I graduated a semester late and I didn't
try hard enough. James still lives in the state where

(30:26):
he attended college, and I live in my home state
near my parents. He doesn't work, he's not currently in school.
My parents buy him flights all the time to come visit,
but don't buy me a flight to go see him
or go anywhere else. My parents send him money for
rent and life necessities. He bought a two thousand dollars
dog recently with that money. When I got my first
big job at age twenty two, my parents immediately kicked

(30:48):
me off their insurance since I had the option of benefits.
James was on their insurance until he turned twenty six,
which is when you know, that's what if you could
stay on the insurance might as well. Last year, I
got laid off and move back in with my parents
to save money. When I got my new job, my
parents told me I needed to pay ten thousand dollars
in back rent whoa whoa, which was never discussed previously.

(31:11):
I did finish paying it off and recently moved in
with my boyfriend. This has been a pattern my whole life.
James gets everything handed him and I have to work
my butt off. So now to the cruse. My parents
said they wanted to do this and bought tickets for themselves,
James and his girlfriend. They told me to get my
own tickets since I have a well paying job. I
was super upset and told them it was a fair

(31:33):
that I was the only one who had to buy
their own ticket. My boyfriend couldn't come due to holiday
plans with his own family. My parents said I was
acting spoiled and that green wasn't a good look on me.
I am so tired of hearing that phrase. At this point,
they said, it's not like I had to get a
nice room since we'd be outside at the majority of
the time anyway, which is true. But then why get
james an ice room. I decided I had enough and

(31:55):
I wasn't going. But here's where I maybe the a
hole I always love.

Speaker 1 (31:59):
That is me.

Speaker 3 (32:01):
I did something wrong. I let them continue thinking I
was for months. Then on the night before they left,
they said to get to their house by eight am
so we could start the drive to the port at
a thirty. That day, they start messaging me asking where
I am. Oh, I texted them, since you didn't want
to put the effort in to have me join you,
I will be attending my boyfriend's Thanksgiving instead. Have a
nice trip with your favorite child. Then I muted the chat.

(32:25):
My job dang man. I talked to some friends about this,
and some said it was petty of me to cancel
with no warning, and others said I should have sucked
it up and gone since I would have had fun
when I got there. They've been on the cruise for
a couple days now, and I'm starting to regret how
I handled things. Yeah, I probably would have fun, and
it's not like I couldn't afford the ticket. I also
could have handled the delivery better. But at the same time,

(32:48):
I'm so sick of them treating me like this. So
am I the a hole for canceling on our family vacation? No,
but there is an update, obviously. I'll start with the
ten K and background. To me, the number itself wasn't
the issue. I mean, yeah, it's definitely a bit higher
than I would have liked, but not completely unreasonable for
the amount of time I lived there. It's not like
I would have been able to rent my own place

(33:08):
at a cheaper price, and if I hadn't moved in
with them, I would have completely depleted my savings and
probably gone into debt.

Speaker 2 (33:15):
Hmmm. I'm wondering now, did the parents need that money
for something, you know? Or whilfe Ooh, like I we
want that ten K so we can spend it on
your brother SPA, so we can take your brother to
the moon.

Speaker 3 (33:28):
While I was laid off and looking for a new
job in my field, I had a serving job and
did some freelance writing work as well, so I was
contributing to groceries but not paying rent or utilities. Because
of that, I understood why my parents wanted help once
I was in a position to do so. I just
wish they had defined that expectation from the beginning instead
of springing on me as a surprise. I paid it

(33:49):
because I know it was an inconvenience for my parents
to have me stay so long, especially during some home renovations.
I know it would have turned into a whole big issue,
and it just felt easier to pay the money. Yes,
I probably have some pushover tendencies that I need to address. Luckily,
I'm in a well paying field. I'm a technical writer,
so once I got my new position, I was able

(34:09):
to pay my parents back in about six months while
also saving up to move out. That's impressive. The timeline
for anyone curious is I was laid off in January
of last year. I used my savings to pay rent
until my lease was up in June, and then I
moved in with my parents. I lived with my parents
from June of last year till September of this year,
when I moved in with my boyfriend. I got my
current job in May, which is when my parents told

(34:32):
me that they wanted back rent and rent moving forward
until I moved out. They said it was to help
motivate me to get back on my feet, so not
all of it was back rent technically, but I just
use that term to try and be more concise.

Speaker 2 (34:44):
See now, I'd be okay with that if they were
just upfront, yeah, but then they try to do the oh,
this is actually just to motivate you.

Speaker 3 (34:50):
It's like, no, it's not because you want the money.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
Right.

Speaker 3 (34:53):
By the time I moved out, the total amount I
owed had added up to the ten K, and I
had already paid off most of it. I also saw
a couple of comments about pursuing legal action against my parents,
but I don't think that's worth it or even possible.

Speaker 2 (35:05):
I agree with that.

Speaker 3 (35:06):
I don't. Yeah, that's a lot. I mean, that's gonna
cost you more money.

Speaker 2 (35:09):
And it's gonna make everything stickier, and it's gonna make
everything messier.

Speaker 3 (35:12):
Situation. Yeah, we never had a written contract, and I
didn't argue against paying it. I didn't want them to
be able to hold that over me. Going through any
legal issue would just dredge the whole thing up again,
and I'd rather not do that. It's paid now, so
at least it's over with. In the future, I know
I should probably be less willing to give into their demands.
It's just difficult when things have been this way my
whole life, and my experiences have shown me that any

(35:34):
refusal paints me as ungrateful in their eyes. I try
so hard to be perfect because I just want them
to treat me with the same care and support as
they do with James. The worst part is James and
I were super close growing up. When we were kids,
we hung out all the time. He was the one
who taught me how to ride a bike. He stood
up for me when I was getting bullied. I don't
think he's a bad person at all. He just never

(35:57):
learned to stand on his own two feet. Our relationship
is stray now because he doesn't get why I have
issues with our parents. I missed the brother I would
stay up playing RuneScape with. I'm pretty sure he fully
buys into the idea that he needs extra help since
he's always gotten it, he doesn't know how to do
or expect anything else. At least, he's still nice to me,
but he just refuses to see the differences and how
we're treated, and he basically wants me to just suck

(36:19):
it up and be part of the family.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
Dang.

Speaker 3 (36:21):
Sadly, all his support just disappeared once it came to
issues with our parents. I hope James gets some distance
from them one day and we can reconnect. I don't
want our relationship to keep suffering because of us. Sorry
to get sappy for a second, but back to the comments.
Another thing I saw some people ask is why I
didn't tell them sooner that I was canceling. I know
that was a petty move on my part, but had

(36:41):
I told them earlier, they would have spent those months
trying to convince me to go and insulting me if
I continued to refuse. It seemed like such a hassle,
and the way I did it was much easier. And yeah,
maybe this is crappy of me, but I did get
some satisfaction out of it. It felt good to treat
them at the same level they treat me.

Speaker 2 (36:57):
It's fair. We're all human. Yeah, we're only human. We're
only human.

Speaker 3 (37:02):
Besides, it's not like it actually affected their trip. They
still went just without.

Speaker 2 (37:06):
Me, right exactly.

Speaker 3 (37:07):
Many of the comments brought up the idea of going
low contact or no contact with my family, and it
is something I've now been considering. My boyfriend is supportive
of this decision since he has seen firsthand how my
parents are. I'm sure my friends will be supportive as
well if I explained the full story. Most of them
have never met my parents, and I've tried not to
get into the whole family dynamic with my friends since

(37:28):
it's depressing for me to talk about, and I also
didn't want to come off as just whining all the time.
Prior to this, they've only heard some small complaints here
and there. With all of that out of the way,
here's what happened since my last post. Wow, we have
any gotten to the new stuff? Yeah? Well, before we
get into what happened, I just want to say it's

(37:49):
kind of sad because it seems like a Piana brother
too of a good relationship. It's just the way that
the parents treat everyone use what's kind of driving this wedge?

Speaker 2 (37:57):
The parents are failing.

Speaker 3 (37:59):
My boyfriend and I got to the cabin late Wednesday night.
I gave his mother a bouquet of her favorite flowers,
and she loved them. We had a quick glass of
wine while talking with his family before heading to bed.
I was still a bit uncertain of my decision, so
I probably wasn't as peppy as usual, but they didn't
seem to mind. That night, I made a promise to
myself that I would put my own family issues aside
during the trip and just focus on having a good

(38:21):
time with my boyfriend's family, who has always been so
gracious to me. On Thursday, we woke up early and
helped his mom with some preparation for the food and
set the table. After we played some cornall with his
cousins and sadly lost due to my complete lack of
athletic ability bummer. The Thanksgiving meal itself was delicious, and
his mom is such a great cook. Everyone was very
sweet to me and made me feel so welcome as

(38:43):
part of the family, which helped me feel much better
about my decision to spend the holidays with them. Yeah,
I mean, your parents would probably be like, it looks
so green. Opee, are you seasick or just jealous?

Speaker 2 (38:53):
Yeah? Not not a good dynamic you've got over there.

Speaker 3 (38:57):
Towards the end of the night, his mom even said
to me that she knows it has ultimately up to
my boyfriend, but she hopes I can join the family
for real someday. I told her I would be honored
if that happens, and we hugged. I really do hope
it will. I love my boyfriend so much and I
want to spend the rest of my life with him.
His family is also an incredible bonus. I had such
a wonderful time on Thanksgiving and enjoyed the rest of

(39:18):
the weekend as well. We went on some great hikes,
hung around by the bonfire, played board games, and watched movies.
My boyfriend also spent some time looking after his little
nephew and watching them play legos together definitely gave me
some slight baby fever. Cute. No, that is not something
I want to act on for at least a couple
of years. That's like the ongoing I don't know that's
my thing. I'm like, that's so cute. I don't want

(39:41):
a baby right now. But they're adorable, They're so cute.
I just wanted I just want a loaner, though, You
just want a loader. Give me one for a day,
maybe a week.

Speaker 2 (39:49):
Let me say, and then I'll give it back, give
it right back to back to the factory.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:53):
We got back yesterday afternoon, and I am already missing everything.
It was genuinely a blast, and there was no family drama,
which made my family seem like even more of a mess. Dang,
I feel like I'm rambling a bit now. Honestly, I
probably have been the whole time. But I'm just so
excited to share what a good time I had during
the holiday and that I definitely made the right decisions. Unfortunately,

(40:15):
this update isn't entirely positive. Dang, I wish it could
be me too, Dang. So close. My parents reached out
last night and they still weren't happy about my choice.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
Well, of course they aren't. They're never happy about anything
that you do and giving them money.

Speaker 3 (40:30):
Yeah, if you're giving them ten K, they might be
kind of at a baseline happiness. Yeah, they're like they
were like, all right, you didn't okay, I guess.

Speaker 2 (40:38):
We finally just feel average.

Speaker 3 (40:41):
I guess the sea air and unlimited drinks didn't do
enough to relax them. My dad sent a passive aggressive
text of cruise pictures with a message that said, sad
that you chose not to be with your family in
such beautiful places. And I sent back a picture for
my trip with my boyfriend's family and said, looks like
you guys had a good time. So did we. Then
my mom called and said she hoped I regretted missing

(41:01):
out on a great family vacation and spoiling their memory
due to a petty grudge against my brother.

Speaker 2 (41:06):
What see, they're.

Speaker 3 (41:07):
They're even like, they're even like creating this grudge.

Speaker 2 (41:11):
Yeah, it doesn't exact blaming you for everything, even when
you weren't on the trip. Yeah, they're like you ruined
the trip but also wasn't even there.

Speaker 3 (41:19):
Yeah, and Opie doesn't have a grudge against her brother.
I feel like they're they're making this thing up.

Speaker 2 (41:24):
Yeah, there are the watches against you.

Speaker 3 (41:26):
You guys. I told her Maya, she wasn't with James
there we go, but rather their unfair preferential treatment between
the two of us. My mom said that I was
the one being unfair by comparing our situation, since James
needs help while he figures out his direction life and
I've always been much more independent. I told her the
only reason that's true is because they never allowed me
to depend on that. She said she wasn't going to

(41:47):
apologize for raising a self sufficient daughter, and that I
should either grow up and be grateful for everything they've done,
or leave them alone for good and break their hearts
all at once instead of doing it peace by peace.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
That's so ridiculous, this dude.

Speaker 3 (42:00):
She called me cruel for dangling the hope of a
wonderful holiday only to snatch it away at the last second,
even though they seemed to be just fine without me there,
based on the photos my dad sent and what they
posted on social media exactly, they don't care. They just
want to make you feel bad thee.

Speaker 2 (42:15):
Yeah, you're not the cornerstone of their ability to enjoy
a cruise.

Speaker 3 (42:19):
I was really upset by this point and pointed out
multiple examples of how they prioritized James, just hoping I
could finally make her understand how growing up like this
has affected me. My mom said, I had a lot
of nerve to put their parenting under a microscope, and
I have no children myself, and I've never had to
make tough decisions. I had enough at the conversation and said,
I guess I'll just leave you guys alone like you want,

(42:40):
since I'll never be enough for this family anyway. I
hung up and started crying, but my boyfriend was really
supportive as always, and we spent the rest of the
night eating ice cream and watching The Hunger Games to
cheer me up. I freaking love the Hunger Games.

Speaker 2 (42:53):
I volunteer.

Speaker 3 (42:54):
I freaking love that movies sees that all serious. That
series is such a well done adaptation. Anyway, I absolutely
love the series, and I'm so excited for Hammich's movie
to come out. It was weird to go back to
work today after everything and act like nothing was the matter,
but I think it was also a good distraction, since
I chose my boyfriend's holiday plans instead of my famili's.

(43:15):
I actually came back feeling mostly refreshed besides the events
of last night, instead of drained like I most likely
would have been after the cruise. I haven't heard anything
more from my parents yet, but I have a feeling
they're just bluffing. I'm sure once they need something they'll
reach out, or they'll probably try and smooth things over
by Christmas so they don't have to explain the situation
to our extended family. I haven't decided yet if I'll

(43:37):
be open to reconciling. On one hand, I know I
deserve better than to be treated as a burden and
an afterthought while doing so much for them. I'm tired
of trying to live up to their expectations, and I'm
not optimistic about their behavior ever changing. But on the
other hand, they are my family, and it's just so
difficult to fully walk away. I just want to feel
the loved acceptance for my own family that I get
from my boyfriend's family. Why is it so hard for

(44:00):
to treat me like I matter? Because they're bad parents.
At the end of the day, they're bad complicated. Yeah,
that's not your faults, and they're going to make you
feel like it's your fault, but at the end of
the day, it is not. I'm also worried that if
I don't make nice with them, they'll twist the story
to make me seem like the problem, and my extended
family will be mad at me too. They definitely are
going to do that for sure. Yeah, there are people

(44:21):
I like within my family, but my parents have a
lot of influence over everyone's opinions. I don't know if
it's worth putting up with them to at least keep
some ties to my family, or if it would be
better to accept the loss and move on from my
dynamic where I am clearly not appreciated. I want to
keep my brother at least, but maybe I'm just holding
onto the past and that version of James doesn't exist anymore.
I hope that's not true. I just don't know how

(44:43):
to get through to him. Since he's so brainwashed by
my parents and thinks they can do no wrong. I'm
not sure if I'll ever truly get.

Speaker 2 (44:50):
My brother back. Damn. You should tell him, like a
lot of the stuff that you've said in this post,
yes bad, I have him. Just read the post and yeah, yeah,
but I know.

Speaker 3 (44:58):
You guys can do no wrong. So you should listen
to more episodes of stories like this. Just go on Spotify,
Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app and search up. Okay,
start time, but there is a little bit more. But
do you have any final thoughts, because I've got some
final thoughts. My final thoughts were I know you said
to show him this post.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
I wouldn't, and the only reason is because I think
it's going to activate his defenses. Yeah, because you're talking
so much about the parents, and it really seems like
that's where you guys. He's really it's not on the
same page. Yeah, he's always defending them because they always
defend him. So you really need, I think, need to
come at it more of like an angle of like
this is just coming from a place of care about

(45:35):
you and your well being and your independence. It's like
you kind of have to just have that. Hey, I'm
only going to have this conversation with you once, sit
you down and have it. I think you need to
get away and get independent. Take this information, do with
it what you want. But I want my brother back.
I feel like I don't have you anymore. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (45:52):
Yeah, I've got some big things to think about now,
and I don't know if I'm ready to make sure
a major change to my life. I do believe i'd
feel much you're and lighter if I at least and
distance myself from them and maybe even cut contact entirely.
I guess I'll just have to see what happens. I'm
sure I already know the answer to this, But is
it stupid to still hold that hope that things can
work out? I mean, no, it's stupid. I think it's

(46:14):
it's hope people you can have your family in your life.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
Yeah, it's you can, and you can go no contact
or low contact right now, and it's like and change
your mind like people. My mom told me this when
I was growing up, and it's like, you know, friendships,
like losing friendships or whatever, and I'm like all upset
about it, and she's like, we really have to be that,
you know, upset because it's like people can go like
like people, sometimes people in life are like lined up
and they're in the same place, and then they'll go

(46:39):
like that, and then sometimes they just go like that forever.
But then sometimes they can come back and line up
and you'll be back in each other's lives. Like yeah,
there's no telling. So it's just having the open mindedness
to to move forward and you never.

Speaker 3 (46:53):
Know and allow possibility. You know, whatever possibilities are gonna
happen in the future, but you're just knowing that you're
prioritizing yourself.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
Yeah, And I think clearly, what would help the family,
the most is like, there needs to be some professional
apps of a therapist.

Speaker 1 (47:09):
Yeah, hey, it's sam og Host. We're gonnet back to
these delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads from
our sponsors to help support the show.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
My mother and stepfather always have explosive arguments, so I'd
banned him from my home.

Speaker 3 (47:27):
Get out of my house.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
That's a perfect impression.

Speaker 1 (47:31):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (47:32):
I'm not sure how to start, but my name is Erica.
I'm thirty five, married with two beautiful sons. My younger
sister has urged me to post about our mom, and
I must know if I'm the a hole with regard
to the boundaries. I've set up a little backstory. My mom,
who will call Stacey, is a boomer scorpio aka she
is very spicy, has always been very stubborn and set

(47:55):
in her ways. Stacy thrives on drama in all aspects
of her life.

Speaker 1 (47:58):
And by the.

Speaker 2 (47:59):
Way, this story comes from user mental Rubbage a note
just kidding mental Ruda Bega thirty three ninety three, and
you can submit your stories on the r slash Showcay
Storytime subreddit. So she ran away with my father from
the Midwest when she was seventeen, and they divorced when
I was a preteen. I'm the oldest of three siblings.

(48:19):
My brother is the problem child and has taken on
a lot of the trauma that has to do with
their relationship. He has substance use disorders and several other disorders,
and he is my mom's favorite codependent, which is easiest
to control child. Stacey remarried when I was a preteen,
shortly after the divorce from my dad, to my stepdad,
who will call Bill. Stacey enjoys being both the hero

(48:41):
and the martyr and claims everyone else is a narcissist,
when really she exhibits most of the behaviors of a narcissist.
She has been separated from my stepdad Bill since twenty fourteen,
with good reason, as they are explosive together. For example,
Bill and Stacey came over for Christmas the year before
I put the rule of not having Bill for the holidays.
Bill and Stacy had already been separated for a few years,

(49:03):
but he decided to come to Christmas with the promise
that they would both behave He came up to Stacy
and started kissing her, grabbing her rear playfully, acting like
they were the perfect couple. Knowing it was ticking Stacey off,
she told him to stop, and he continued, They're already separated.
Didn't already separate at this point? What is this?

Speaker 3 (49:21):
And just in front of everyone, And also she's going like, hey,
stop it.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
Yeah, this should be like ohh hey, hey, get out now,
get out, You're gone. Why are you even here? A
few minutes later, they were screaming at each other, bringing
up old fights and making everyone uncomfortable. I asked them
to stop or take it somewhere else, but they just
kept going. It became an explosive fight, and many of
our friends and family left before dinner to escape the fighting.

(49:47):
I begged them to stop, and so did my husband,
but they ignored everyone's please. Eventually they left after ruining
the entire dinner for us and our remaining guests. It
was a doodoo show. This was not a new occurrence either.
Throughout their entire marriage, my two siblings and I were
the glue that kept them together. We would mitigate every
argument that arose and had the task of keeping the

(50:08):
household calm. Basically, we were counselors for their marriage when
we were merely children.

Speaker 3 (50:13):
Yes, that's that's not a great thing to put on
a child.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
It sounds like a story book romance. When we didn't
intervene in their fights, they would yell and throw things
at each other, use us the children as weapons against
each other. It's just typical toxic household vibes. My brother,
who's thirty three male as a child that we will
call Dean, that my brother has never been capable to
raise due to his substance abuse problems and a criminal

(50:38):
pass So Stacy and Bill have taken responsibility for Dean's upbringing.
After that explosive Christmas, my husband and I were finally
able to purchase our first house in the spring of
twenty twenty, and I thought about the upcoming holidays and
how to avoid another disaster. In twenty twenty, I began
to break from my people pleasing ways and decided to
recognize my worth. I will not have my children experience

(50:59):
the same I grew up with, and will not tolerate
my mother and Bill's behavior in my home. I thought
about how to proceed and decided Bill would not be
welcome in my home until Stacy and Bill could rectify
their relationship and behave like adults. This would effectively remove
Stacy's primary trigger and hopefully facilitate happy family gatherings. This
caused a massive fight between my mom and I, but

(51:23):
I have not changed my rules because they still can't
behave to this day around each other and are still separated.

Speaker 3 (51:29):
I just don't understand why he's coming to these things exactly.

Speaker 2 (51:32):
It's like, if you're separated and you're not my biological relative,
you're not coming to Christmas.

Speaker 3 (51:36):
And you're also like you hate each other, yes, you do,
not like, why is she Why is she fighting so
hard for this guy to come?

Speaker 1 (51:43):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (51:44):
Well, I mean I feel like they'll hurt each other.
Her want her fighting was probably less about him not
coming and being like, oh, so you've got a problem
with me? Yeah, so what's what did I do wrong?
And it's like, I mean, you're just one half of
the problem.

Speaker 3 (51:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:58):
I could go into pages and pages more of backstory
about Stacy and Bill's toxic marriage, but I will get
to the reason of the post and whether I'm the ale.
So let's talk about the incident that's inspired my ability
to solidify my boundaries. Dean's birthday is around the Christmas holiday,
and this particular year, he was turning thirteen. Since Stacy
and Bill have custody of Dean, they decided to celebrate

(52:19):
at one of those cool adventure parks and they invited
the whole family. This was also the same year that
I had finally bought my first house with my husband
and had made my rule of not having Bill come
to my home. I wasn't going to have Stacy and
Bill over since their relationship was and still is incredibly toxic.
The whole family was invited to this event. Stacy, Bill, Dean,
my sister, her significant other, along with myself, my husband,

(52:43):
and our twins. Now Stacy had been abusively messaging and
calling four weeks prior to the party due to my
decision to not include Bill over to my house during
the holidays. I agreed to go despite the hate and
animosity my mom was throwing at me to give Dean
a fun birthday with his cousins. At the park, my
husband and I watched the kids play, and my husband

(53:04):
played as well with them. My mom would not look
at me, speak to me, and basically just ignored my existence,
which I was fine with. We had a great time
seeing the kids have so much fun. As we got
ready to leave. My husband gave the Christmas presents to
my mom since we would not see them on Christmas.
She refused to come without her estranged husband, which is such.

Speaker 3 (53:23):
Just what they're not even they're kind of not even
as strange.

Speaker 2 (53:26):
I guess if they're both raising a kid together and
like they're going to the adventure park and they're still
living together, are they separated?

Speaker 3 (53:33):
I don't think they're that separated. I don't think they're
as separates as they claim to be.

Speaker 2 (53:38):
I mean they're like separated emotionally. Yeah, they just don't
like each other.

Speaker 3 (53:42):
They hate each other, but they're like, well, what are
you gonna do?

Speaker 2 (53:45):
They're like, we used to like each other. Maybe that'll
happen again one day.

Speaker 3 (53:48):
You know. It's kind of like that thing, it's that
thing whoa, which is true, but like, also it doesn't
feel like they're doing any work.

Speaker 2 (53:58):
It takes each to actually get things back into a
good place and relationship. Yeah, it feels just like we'll
vibe into it. It feels more like, yeah, they're just
My mom proceeded to take all of the presents and
stomp over to our car and put them into the trunk,
saying that she won't take them. I'm not sure exactly
the words she used, but they were very hateful. Dean

(54:20):
starts crying, Yeah, and my twins start crying, and then
I lost my crap. I can handle the abuse, but
when you make kids cry, especially my own, it's when
I go, as my sister calls firal. Yeah, I mean,
not only you made your own adopted kid cry, essentially,
and you're making all the other kids cry because.

Speaker 3 (54:38):
You're making children cry too proud.

Speaker 2 (54:40):
To take gifts that aren't even for you, They're they're
for the kids.

Speaker 3 (54:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:44):
I started screaming, and if you knew me, you would
know I almost never scream. I was seeing red at
this point. Do not mess.

Speaker 3 (54:54):
With my cash. Op Hee's going full Mama bear.

Speaker 2 (54:57):
She went. I don't know, is that it's more like
a ferret. I told her how childish, selfish, and despicable
she was behaving. I tried to rein in my anger
and reiterated that she and my nephew were more than
welcome to come to Christmas. I just wasn't having Bill
come because they can't act like an adult for thirty
minutes without starting a fight. The only reason she hadn't

(55:20):
fought with Bill at the trampoline park was because all
her anger was pointed towards me. You know how in
Lord of the Rings when Sauron missed Sam and Frodo
getting to Mount Doom because Aragorn and the rest of
the guys were at the Black Gates distracting the eye.

Speaker 3 (55:33):
Spoiler spoiler alert, yeah, I spoiler.

Speaker 2 (55:36):
Basically the same principle, is it really it is?

Speaker 3 (55:40):
I believe it is the same principle.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
I had all her hate and anger one hundred percent
focused on her horrible daughter, which was me. Back to
the story, Stacy got in my face, practically nose to nose,
called me the B word in front of all the kids,
and was just pushing me to fight her physically.

Speaker 3 (55:58):
Why is your mom like this?

Speaker 2 (56:01):
She's on one right now. I'm ashamed to say that
I was about to knock her butt into next week
right then and there. I've never been in a fight
in my life, but I was going to teach her
a lesson. I have never been so angry in my life. Luckily,
my husband pulled me back and we left. Yees see,
she was being corrupted by the power right there.

Speaker 3 (56:19):
Bill was over there, going, oh you are.

Speaker 2 (56:21):
Hearing like all the all the high pitched like screams
and you're hearing the ring noises. Yeah, she proceeded to
blow up my phone for hours about how I ruined
Dean's birthday. Well, no, that was your mom, and how
I am a selfish bee, along with countless other hateful phrases.
I have pages and pages of her crazy texts from

(56:41):
this time. I know I shouldn't have lost it honor,
and I did apologize for that part, but I will
not apologize for setting boundaries and having happy holidays in
my home. So am I the a hole for not
allowing Bill to come to my house when they're both
hell be and on being mean and hateful whenever they
are around each other? And was I the a hole
for losing my crap on my mom when she returned
to the Christmas presents and made all the kids cry? And

(57:04):
by the way, you know it's gonna make all of
us cry if you don't listen to full episodes with
stories like this, because why wouldn't you. All you need
to do is go to Spotify or Apple Podcasts or
wherever you get your podcast from and search Okay Storytime,
and there you can listen to literally everything we'd ever.

Speaker 3 (57:20):
Made right, yes, perfect man, oh man.

Speaker 2 (57:26):
No, you're not the ahole now. No.

Speaker 3 (57:28):
So I think that you wouldn't be the ahole if
you stopped inviting your mom, because Bill is one side
of this coin, this toxic lead coded coin, and you're
gonna get lead poisoning if you keep holding onto that coin.
Even if you flip it over. You're like, oh, I
can't see the Bill side. Mom's still there, she's coding
and lead.

Speaker 2 (57:45):
Yeah. I feel like her problem is that like just
being implicated in an issue, or that she causes issues. Yeah,
is like now she's like she's embarrassed because now it's like,
oh well, even if it is just like well, she's
only banned her husband, it's like, actually, wait, no, that
doesn't make any sense because they're supposed to be estranged,
supposed to be but maybe they're not. Maybe they're not even.

Speaker 3 (58:07):
Stand Bill and your Mom's relationship it seems weird. Maybe
they get off on like screaming at each other. I
don't know, but I think at the end of the day,
you don't need to invite your mom two things either,
because it seems like you have like a you have
a pretty volatile relationship with your mom too.

Speaker 2 (58:24):
Yeah, as of today, she still throws a fit every
year around Halloween when she starts talking about coming over
for the holidays, and I have to reiterate my boundaries.
This year, she decided to tell me I'm banned from
her life and her funeral, along with pages and pages
of verbal abuse. I don't know why I even stay
in contact with her. I've always been a people pleaser,

(58:44):
and it's hard for me to take this from her
year after year. She is my mom and I love her,
but I'm not sure how many more times I can
be called a narcissist, a disappointment of her daughter, a
horrible mother, along with the slew of profanity and so on. Yeah,
you don't have to take that.

Speaker 3 (58:57):
Don't take it.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
We are in low contact right now, but after the
holidays have all passed, she will work her way back
into our lives without an apology, and the cycle will
begin again at the end of October. And that is
the end of that story. But hey, Yah, sounds like
you're very acutely aware of the cycle. It's time to
call her out.

Speaker 3 (59:14):
Yeah. I just also think, at the end of the day,
like you do, not have to have a relationship with her.
You don't like she keeps causing problems in your life.
She keeps pulling. She pulled you as a child into this,
she pulled your kids. Now. It's just a cycle that
ain't ain't too hot.

Speaker 2 (59:30):
There's never an obligation, like you know, there's always like
a sense or like there's that outward pressure from like
society and like everything we've been brought up in where
it's like old family first, and like it's always your
family you always keep. But like if she's like she's
like actively making abusing you verbally like and like mentally like,
it's it's okay.

Speaker 3 (59:50):
I think when you get to where you almost physically
fight someone, maybe we should reconsider whether or not we
want that person in our life.

Speaker 2 (59:56):
Yeah, I mean, especially as adults. We love you and
see to morrow.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My parents ABANDONED me… now they demand my inheritance! - r/entitledpeople | Reddit Stories