My sister-in-law threw a PARTY got my son with strangers…without notifying me! -r/BORUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2671 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, oh, it's righty here, and this is Carly, your
favorite Okay Storytime hosts, and we've got some great stories
coming up.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Before you gett these wild stories, we have a quick
two minute break from the sponsors that keep the show going.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
My sister in law threw a party for my son
with strangers without notifying me.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Who's at the party.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
So on Saturday, we celebrated my son's birthday and my
husband and I had a party for him with all
of his friends and our families. It was a blast
and everything turned out perfect. By the way, this comes
from Okay Cookie seventy five fifteen and if you want
to submit your own stories, good to be our slash
Okay story Time subured. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, and we're
here to give good advice. Scoofley, but we don't have

(00:41):
all the answers. We only know what we'd do, So
let us know what you would do in the comments,
and op says. Two weeks ago, my mother in law
asked if she could borrow my son the day after
his birthday to take him to his favorite indoor playground.
She texted me today and asked if she could also
borrow my daughter, who is eight months old, so I
could stay behind and clean up the mess from the party.

(01:01):
I thought, wow, yes, that would be helpful.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
Right, he sounds lovely, so hard right.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
Well, little did I know she took them to the
indoor playground because my sister in law had planned a
party for my son and invited all her friends and
their kids, whom I don't even know or have ever met.
That's weird, Why you invito Pete?

Speaker 1 (01:23):
Right? Like, I get the kind gesture. I'm happy that
she added and their kids.

Speaker 3 (01:29):
Yeah, yeah, that's so weird. She's like, yes, all my
adults have come to goggle at my nephew. From the title.
I was totally taturing that we're going to put him
in a glass case and everyone's just gonna.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
He's literally in one of those netted climate gems and
the all binoculars, Like.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
As you can see the young human boy.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
He's very agile, he's ambectious.

Speaker 3 (01:52):
My son only knew one kid of the bunch that went.
I probably only personally met two out of the fifteen
people who attended. I am so devastated that my mother
in law was not honest with my husband and me
from the start. My husband and I are not on
speaking terms with my sister in law, But even then,
my mother in law made us invite her to the

(02:13):
party we threw for my son and threatened to stop
helping with the kids if we didn't. That's insane. Even
though she hardly ever helps to keep the peace with
my mother in law, we decided to invite my sister
in law and she did come to my son's birthday party.
Now I am so disappointed and disgusted that they would
throw my son a birthday party with a bunch of

(02:33):
strangers he didn't know. Not only that, but I trusted
them with my baby and now I'm seeing pictures of
strangers holding my baby girl. Oh oh no, oh mm
mmm oh. Now it's no contact with mother in law
and sister in law. It's like your mama. So it
makes me feel like a horrible mother knowing I didn't

(02:54):
have control over their safety with other strangers. Am I
the a hole for thinking I should have been notified, invited,
and even asked if it was okay to throw them
a party?

Speaker 1 (03:04):
And they know you're not the a hole, not the
a home that's wild.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
We have also been planning a surprise party for my
mother in law next week with a DJ and a
live band, which I am now tempted to cancel. My
husband is talking to his mom tomorrow and I am
losing sleep, feeling like the worst mom ever. And there
are some comments, but what do you think?

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Ooh, okay, Well, first off, not the a hole we
established that, No, especially once you hit like there's pictures
of random strangers fielding my eight month old. As far
as the party for mother in law, though, I feel
like in some way you probably can't.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
Get money back for that. I'm not canceling it.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
I'm not canceling it. I'm not going, and neither are
my two kids.

Speaker 3 (03:44):
My husband can go. See from what it sounds like
to me, it sounds like they're throwing a surprise party.
So it sounds like, oh, he and her husband are
planning it, or.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
You just I got you.

Speaker 3 (03:54):
We're not inviting mother in law now, it's just to
have a less party. A cool but yeah, that works too,
mm hmm. Comment one says, how are you the worst mom?
Mother in law hijacked your kids? You do need to
work on that spine. Keeping peace with mother in law
just means letting her have her way. All the time.

(04:14):
I'd definitely cancel the party for the old sneak and
low contact and no contact going forward. Opie says, Yes,
I'm done being nice. I'm usually a pushover, but not
when it comes to my kids. They blindsided me, and
now I'm seeing my sister in law social media and
I literally ran to the bathroom and almost threw up
thinking about my babies being held and celebrated by people

(04:37):
that I've never met. Reply says, comment under every single
picture that you did not approve of any of those
people touching your children make an issue a bit so strange.
Report the pictures your sister in law posted and have
them taken down. Don't just let her or anyone posts
pictures of your kids. Comment two says not the ale.
Your husband needs to strongly back you up. I hope

(04:58):
your kids didn't catch anything from those strangers. Cancel the
party for your lying mother in law. Don't cancel. It's
a surprise party. You have a DJ and a.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Live band party. Oh it's next week. Don't gite all
your friend literally, it's gonna be so much fun.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
You guys.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
If honestly, if anyone texted me the last minute surprise
DJ party.

Speaker 3 (05:21):
I'm sick. I'd be like, oh my god, guys, we're
having a suprise. We're having a non surprise surprise party.
It's a surprise for all of you guys. You guys
didn't know what's happening Live band DJ.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
I mean the guests all know about it. Yeah, presumably,
and you're.

Speaker 3 (05:37):
Like, hey, mother in law can no longer make it,
so it's just gonna be a party, Opie. This finally
made my husband realize that double standards my mother in
law has for him and his sister. She would have
never allowed us to do something like that to her.
Sister in law doesn't have kids, but's so wrong to
have helped conceal the truth from us. Comment three says,
I would be outraged. I would feel fit physically ill

(06:00):
to Your job as a parent is to keep your
kids safe, and you can't keep your kids safe if
you don't know who they're with. They lied to you.
You are not overreacting and you are not the Ahle.
Please never ever, ever let your kids be alone with
your mother in law or sister in law ever. Again.
Terrifying awful people. They should be so ashamed of themselves. Oh,

(06:21):
he says Yeah, mother in law is super ashamed, cried
and understands why we're setting more boundaries and low contact
with her. Oh Okay, whoa, I was not expecting her
to be remorseful at all.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
I did think there was going to be some level
of the manipulation came from sister in law. Still, but
for her to so easily not just brush it away.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
No, yeah, actually, like still upset. Sister in law absolutely
lost your rights to have a relationship with our kids.
Com And two says wow, simply wow. I can't believe
you're tempted to cancel your mother in law's party. You
should be scorching the earth and cutting mother in law
and sister in law permanently on everything and shouting from
the rooftops that they'll never ever see your children again.

(07:04):
You need to tell your husband that you and your
children are no longer a part of his family, and
if he's not on board, he can leave and you'll
be filing for divorce. Okay, we haven't got any indication
that husband is not on board. Go talk to mother
in law. Husband seems to be pretty active as a
parent and a good partner. I don't think we need
to even think about divorce right now. That's crazy. There's

(07:27):
no compromise on this. If you have to get a lawyer,
get one that's a shark that will get you everything
you and your kids deserve.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
Calm down.

Speaker 3 (07:36):
I'm still blown away with what his family did. Are
you sure your husband didn't know? Jeez?

Speaker 1 (07:42):
Okay, how would your opinion change if it came out
that husband did know?

Speaker 3 (07:47):
Pretty bad? No, Okay, yeah I wouldn't either because that
you know. Honestly, I'd be like, wow, you lied to me.
That's totally inappropriate. But then I'd be like Okay, on
the other hand, still really mad at you, but also
at least you know someone was aware where our kids were.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
And now you're willing to fix it up.

Speaker 3 (08:06):
Yes, yeah, regardless, you need to stand up to his
vile mother and sister and tell them that because of
their behavior, they will never ever see your children again.
Don't just think about it, do it. If you do nothing,
then expect your in laws to lie to you always
and have future parties with your children without you or
your husband.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
I mean, I'm glad mother in law seems to have
some remorse. Yeah, I still think low contact for now,
at least she needs to work that trust back up.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
Absolutely, it's good.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
I'm not saying mother in law can't ever like get
back to that trusting level. But sister in law is not.

Speaker 3 (08:40):
It's gonna take a while. Yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
And she's not getting my kids unsupervised like that.

Speaker 3 (08:45):
I'm not finding.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
Out through my kids popping up on my social media
about me.

Speaker 3 (08:50):
To me, it seems like the kids came home or
the son came home, was like, yeah, we had a
surprise party. Oh, I'm sure that.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
Yeah, he's at the age where he's just gonna be
like and we did.

Speaker 3 (09:00):
And when it came over, and I didn't know any
of them, and there's a lot of were people their mom, Yeah,
and taking pictures of me willly weird. That's phenomenon. Don't
why mom, I looked, go wait, you'll see them soon. Update.
Mother in law apologized to us and validated our feelings.

(09:20):
The surprise party was canceled. We are going absolutely no
contact with sister in law and keeping limited contact with
mother in law. A bit of context. My son is
on the spectrum. He's super smart and bright, but still
struggles with full communication. I am very cautious about who
we allow in our lives. Because of this, sister in
law is blaming her mom for not communicating to us

(09:41):
that it was a birthday party. She is no longer
allowed to have a relationship with our kids. As for
the Instagram photos she posted of the party, they have
now expired. Obviously, my son was happy he got presents
and cake, and I love when people love them my kids.
I wrote this post at three am to vent and
see if I'm the a hole for thinking I should
have been invited or notified. And that's the end of

(10:03):
the story.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
I criticized my wife's diy hair cut and she had
a meltdown on me.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
You're supposed to say no, honey, I love your bangs.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
My wife, twenty five female, decided to follow what she
says is a TikTok trend. I'm not on TikTok, so
I don't really know what it is. Instead of going
to a salon, she cut her own hair. Her hair
used to go down to her back and now it's
really short. By the way, this comes from chemical vanilla
to one. And if you want us to make your

(10:35):
own stories, go to the arsage Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly,
I'm Sophia, and we're here to give good advice. Goofuleep.
But we don't have all the answers. We only know
what we would do. Sometimes I don't even know that.
Let us know what you would do in the comments,
and Opie says, she asked me what I thought. I said, Wow,
why didn't you just go.

Speaker 3 (10:54):
To a salon? Why would you say that?

Speaker 1 (10:57):
She said she likes it this way because it feels liberating.
She asked again how I liked it, and I said
it looks uneven and like her five year old niece
was left alone with scissors.

Speaker 3 (11:08):
Oh, you're the ale.

Speaker 1 (11:09):
We didn't need to add that.

Speaker 3 (11:10):
Second, you're the ahole. You're the a hole.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
She got really upset and said that I was being controlling.

Speaker 3 (11:16):
Well, I don't think you're being don't think controlling. I
think you're being an a hole.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
And that I was just making excuses because men stereotypically
like women with long hair. I told her the issue
isn't the length, it's that the haircut itself looks bad,
especially in the back. I also said, oh no, since
my company's Christmas dinner is tomorrow, could she please go
to a salon and fix it you're the ale She

(11:41):
started crying and called me a jerk. Now she says
she isn't coming to the dinner at all. I honestly
don't know what to do. She was trying to give
herself a pixie cut like Anne Hathaway or Michelle Williams,
but instead gave herself a dumb and dumber Lloyd Christmas haircut.
Am I the ale Yes comments comment one. You're not

(12:01):
out of line for saying it looks bad or that
she should fix it. I think a reasonable person would
want to know what people honestly think, especially before they
go to a major public event. You are out of
line for saying it looks like a five year old
cut it. That's just being unnecessarily cruel. Yeah. I agree
with that comment comment too. Pro tip if you want
people to listen to your criticism, maybe try to not

(12:24):
insult them while you give it. Yeah. I don't know
why you had to insult her and say that about
the five year old being left alone with scissors. I
don't know why you would say something insulting and then
be insulted and surprised that she's upset and doesn't want
to go to the dinner or fix it.

Speaker 3 (12:39):
Yeah, because sometimes you get like I mean, I do
this where sometimes my parents will say something about an
outfit and then I'm just like shut down. I'm like, well, nah,
I'm dot and like there's probably an incredibly easy fix.
But if I'm already in that mood, it's such so
harding line.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
And I think it is so mood dependent, because sometimes
I do want honest feedback.

Speaker 3 (13:01):
About your outfit, absolutely, but then other times I just
want you to be like, you look great, that's yeah.
I feel like if I come up to you and
say like, does this look weird, you could be like, yeah,
that doesn't really go together. If I come up to
you said do I look good? Yes? Yes, yes you do,
and you can give little critiques. You can be like, oh,
I think with different shoes, I think maybe your hair

(13:22):
should be up or down? That's it.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
Oh wow, that's new. I'm glad you like it. How
about you go to the salon to have them touch
up the back since that's hard to do on your own.
Other than that, if you like the length, then that's great.
Would not have unlived you. You're the able not for
not liking her haircut, but for being mean and foolish
with how you brought up her fixing it. This is
your yu. Would you have wanted her to mock you

(13:46):
for trying something and saying you look like you let
a five year old do it? Probably not, and we
have an updated and the updated. Since I don't have
the energy to reply to DMS.

Speaker 3 (13:57):
Let's see if she actually went to this dinner. Ooh.
I think if oh, he actually listens to these comments, yes,
he could go to his wife and say, I'm so
sorry for all I said that I love the lank
I just think it's a little uneven, and like you know,
I'd love to pay for you to go like us,
to go to the salon together and we can make
the little day out of it.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
Yeah, my worry, this is the day before the dinner.
Is she gonna be able to update? I apologize to
my wife.

Speaker 3 (14:24):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
I told her I was being a mean knucklehead and
that my comments were uncalled for. I told her that
whether she wanted to go to a salon or I
was happy with her hair as it is, it was
totally fine by me. The only thing I really wanted
was for her to come with me to my work
Christmas party. She forgave me, but said she wasn't going
to a salon because she likes her hair. I accepted

(14:46):
that and we went to the party. She knows most
of my coworkers' wives, so she went to say hi
to them while I talked with the guy from work.
After a while, she came up to me and asked
if we could leave early.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
Where all the girl's like, oh oh, your hair. Oh oh.

Speaker 1 (15:02):
I hope they weren't mean girl. She looked upset. I
said I wish we could, but we had to stay
until my boss gave his speech. Leaving right then would
have looked really bad unless it was an emergency. She said,
no problem. In the middle of my boss's speech, one
of my coworker's wives, who's also her friend, quietly came
up to me and whispered that my wife was in
the bathroom crying and having a meltdown. I had to

(15:26):
sneak out. It turned out she felt really insecure about
her haircut because two of the coworker's wives had told
her politely but still that it looked terrible. Why why
tell her there? I don't know. One of them even
offered to book her an appointment with a stylist to
fix it before Christmas. I need to see how bad

(15:47):
this haircut is.

Speaker 3 (15:48):
It's got to have been pretty bads.

Speaker 1 (15:51):
I talked her out of the bathroom and told my
boss my wife had an emergency and that we needed
to leave. Luckily he understood. She cried and screamed the
whole way home, saying people are mean and had made
fun of her and commented on her hair. I told
her not to take it seriously, that they were probably
wasted and just saying random stuff. Plus, who cares what
a bunch of random strangers say. Also, she's always had

(16:13):
long hair, so of course she looks different now, which
is probably why they commented. I told her not to
worry about what they think.

Speaker 3 (16:20):
Oh, this is tough. I think she'll realize in a
couple of days.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
It's just really unfortunate timing.

Speaker 3 (16:26):
Yeah, I think she's been a little stubborn. Yeah, just
in terms of herself. She's like, no, I like this hair.
I like it. She's trying to convince herself. I think
give her a couple of days make her feel good
about herself, she'll realize, yeah, my hair is pretty uneven.
I do need I think she'll figure it out.

Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yeah, I think so. Yeah, we got home. She was
starting to feel a bit better, but then that same
woman texted her again. Girl, here's the number to my stylist. Luckily,
she has an opening for you on Tuesday morning.

Speaker 3 (16:58):
Oh my god, they are nasty.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
Why are they doubling down?

Speaker 3 (17:04):
They're nasty? Yeah, I'm in Arda's nasty. Why would you
say that?

Speaker 1 (17:10):
That set her off again. She started screaming and locked
herself in our bathroom. Oh man, I made her breakfast
this morning. She feels better now, but I really don't
want to talk about her hair ever again. I honestly
don't know how to approach things from here. Considering we
are invited to my family's Christmas dinner, I'm just gonna
go with the flow and don't care anymore. I had

(17:33):
no idea a TikTok trend would end like this, but
here we are. I wonder if if he can text
his mom yeah and be like, wife's got a pixie? Yeah?
Did you tell her you love it?

Speaker 3 (17:44):
Yeah? In your family individually and you're like hey, or
you don't want the trail up? If you don't want
like THEE call them, Yeah, you call them, You say hey, mom,
you need to tell my wife she's got okay.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
She's the pretty she looks like Anne Hathaway.

Speaker 3 (17:57):
She looks like Anne Hathaway. I don't care how you
actually think she looks. She looks like an Hathaway. Nothing
is wrong with her hair, got it? Got it?

Speaker 1 (18:08):
Comment Comment one. I think your wife needs to accept
she gave herself a terrible haircut. She should also probably
stop following TikTok trends, not the a hole. Comment two.
She can like it, but if people are giving her
numbers of stylists and their availability, it must be really bad.
Comment three. You need to be prepared for another meltdown
at Christmas if someone mentions her hair. How will you

(18:30):
handle that? If she wants to leave.

Speaker 3 (18:32):
What will you do? Best of luck?

Speaker 1 (18:34):
Opie says, I'm hoping she chooses not to go, so
we stay at home and have a nice, quiet Christmas together.
But that's the end of that story.

Speaker 3 (18:44):
My father in law disrespected me multiple times, so I
made my husband choose between us.

Speaker 1 (18:50):
It's me or your dad.

Speaker 3 (18:52):
And there is a trigger warning for mentions of mistreatment.
I thirty four female, have been with my husband thirty
two male, for all eleven years my husband and his
family are from another country, so when we started dating,
I justified many things as cultural differences. But along the way,
the disrespect never stopped. By the way, this comes from,
I don't know what I'm doing three two one, And

(19:15):
if you want to smit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay storytime subbered it. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly,
and we're here to give good advice. Gooofley, but we
don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,
So let us know what you would do in the comments,
and op says there are so many instances where my
father in law disrespected me, but the one that broke
the camel's back was this one. When I was thirty two,

(19:35):
I gave birth to the first grandson of the family.
In the last weeks of my pregnancy, father in law
was divorcing, so I told my husband that we should
let him stay in our guest room while he got
his life together. It started with the fact that I
didn't eat meat, so I bought a skillet for him
to cook in his room. But he started cooking when
I was working in my studio and the smell filled
the space I was pregnant, so the smell hit me

(19:58):
harder and made it impop possible to work even after
I gave birth. He did the same during nap time,
which still prevented me from working. And by the way,
this comes directly from the r slash Okay story time
celebritid it. Yeah, that is tough.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
I think pregnancy wise, it would be nice for him
to like respect and be like, I understand that this
is like actually making you ill to smell absolutely. Yeah,
outside of pregnancy wise, I think I kind of think
you gotta let the man cook his meat.

Speaker 3 (20:29):
Yeah, I think after that I would say kind of
have to deal with it a little.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
Bit, like as long as he's not feeding you meat,
and yeah, respectful that that's your diet, you kind of
also have to respect that that's his diet.

Speaker 3 (20:42):
Yeah, I agree. I also guess I'm not like the
type of person who doesn't eat meat that like is
disgusted by the smell, because I still find the smell
pretty appetizing. So I don't know if maybe like that's
not your experience.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
I'm picturing just straight bacon every day.

Speaker 3 (20:57):
Which to me smells good. But I was struggling with
my body image, and every time he saw me he
would ask when I was going to start going to
the gym, You're gone, You're gone. Sometimes I was struggling
and alone, and neither he nor my sister in law
would even grab the baby so I could eat. They
only came to ask what it was eating, if I

(21:18):
cook something, or if I was going to He would
come in the middle of dinner to look at my
plate and comment. While that was literally my only time
to relax. They never had dinner with us, never helped
with chores, and never changed a diaper. It started to
take a toll on me. One day, while having breakfast
with my older daughter twelve female at the time, he
came into the kitchen to tell me he had already

(21:39):
found an apartment. Thank goodness, I already knew, but I
congratulated him and acted surprised. He then looked at my
daughter and said, he bet we were throwing a party.
I just stared at him, unsure of what to say.
I couldn't let him disrespect me in front of my
teenage daughter. While I was thinking of what to say,
he asked her again, so I stopped him and asked,

(22:02):
what was wrong with him and if that was necessary.
He tried to justify it, but I was done and
told him I didn't care about his explanation. I was
done and tired of taking so much BS. I even
cried and told him I was done letting him belittle
me and involving my daughter was the line. I told
my daughter to go and we left the dining room.

(22:22):
I called my husband and told him everything. I was
shaking and so angry. I grew up in a harmful
household and was in a harmful relationship, and I have CPTSD.
The things he was doing were extremely triggering, to the
point that I didn't even want to come home. I
couldn't create, I was unhappy. I hated my body. Little

(22:43):
did he know I was struggling with complications from a
copper IUD. I'm allergic to copper and didn't know it. Well,
aren't you pregnant right now? This is postpregnancy?

Speaker 1 (22:53):
Yeah, we time jumped. I missed that.

Speaker 3 (22:55):
Post copper IUD is already supposed to create an allergic reaction.
That's how it works, to be double allergic to it,
and that very reactive. You're definitely not getting pregnant. Yeah,
I was swollen and ended up at the hospital twice
and spent three months with it in my body because
no one wanted to take it out. But that's a
whole other story. What time passed and he acted like

(23:15):
he had changed. But today was Christmas Eve and he
invited us to his new girlfriend's house. He stopped every
conversation to say that it was the best Christmas dinner
eleven years, the same amount of time I had been
with my husband. Funny how that works. For the last
three Christmases I hosted at our home, breaking my back
cooking for them without any help. They didn't bring anything.

(23:38):
We cooked everything ourselves. They only bought the food. I
was so sad when we left. I told my husband,
and instead of simply validating how I felt, he justified
his behavior, saying that that's just the way he is
and that he thinks he never said it that way.
I didn't care. I just wanted to vent and be heard,
especially because he had left to entertain our toddler two years.

(23:58):
I'm sad, I have no fan and I just wanted
to be accepted, But my husband literally told me they
hated me and would never accept me that way. Sorry
if your husband is telling you that his family hates you.
Maybe we should limit contact.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Yeah, Honestly, that's wild to mean that a husband would
just be like, yeah, they hate you, yeah.

Speaker 3 (24:18):
And not try and fix that, right, not try and
keep you away from them, not in like a like
a hiju, but like make it so you don't have
to interact with people who hate you. Yeah, it hurt
a lot, even though it's probably true. My daughter is
living with her bio dad for the first time this Christmas,
and I was planning to enjoy the evening with my
husband and toddler then go to my father in law's

(24:41):
house to exchange gifts. Oh.

Speaker 1 (24:44):
Yeah, this is a tough one because it's like, obviously
it's nothing like appalling, like he's being terribly rude comments
kind of thing like no one wants to be around,
and that's like super mean. Still, yeah, I don't even
want to say that's not appalling, because it still is
like why why are we doing this? Dude?

Speaker 3 (25:01):
I just think the behavior of your husband is a
little bit more that.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
I'm more like to die. Yeah, I'm with you. I'm
like a husband needs to step up and be like dude, stop.

Speaker 3 (25:11):
Yeah, And it seems like he just excuses that behavior,
which is not okay, Like.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
I don't think that a valid excuse is like, well,
he's just like that as a person.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
Yeah, after this, I don't want to. I even spend
days making mugs for everyone as gifts, but now I
don't want to give them away. They don't deserve my
art time or effort. My husband wants to go anyway
with our toddler and leave me alone. Christmas is hard
for me, and he's putting it on me. I either
stay alone for two hours, as he says, or go

(25:42):
with him again. He doesn't want me to go and
go through this again. I feel like eleven years is
way too long to not have boundaries, and I'm tired
of being second on his list of priorities. He never
takes free time from work unless it's to plan something
with his family, and when that happens, he forgets that.
I become angry just when plans change. I'm picky with

(26:02):
food and I am who I am. He usually helps
me and accepts me, but when his family is around,
he doesn't care and changes everything, ignoring me. I'm also neurodiversent,
and he knows this. I don't know if I'm the
a hole for asking him not to go. I feel
like he needs to start putting us his family as
a priority. But I don't know if I'm right for

(26:23):
asking this. And that is the end of that story.
What do you think?

Speaker 1 (26:29):
I think that the problem definitely lies more in like
your husband not supporting you.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
Yeah, seems like it's a continuous issue.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
Yeah, I'm not sure that two hours for like a
Christmas visit is where I would personally draw the line
of like, yeah, you can't go, but going forward, I
would need more effort for like my direct family that
we've built together.

Speaker 3 (26:54):
Absolutely, I would be having a conversation about you need
to start taking off time to hang out with you
your immediate family in my side, yeah, not just with yours.
And you need to stand up for me and I
have to hear all of these terrible comments from your
family members.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
Yeah, one thousand percent. And that's the end of this story.
We're gonna go to the next one. My husband pulled
a prank on me with my dream Christmas gift.

Speaker 3 (27:18):
Well, I'm gonna pull a prank where I break up
with you, except it's not a prank.

Speaker 1 (27:22):
The title is dramatic, but I'm very deeply hurt and
seriously depressed and heartbroken. I love Christmas and I always
get so excited for it.

Speaker 3 (27:32):
Every year.

Speaker 1 (27:33):
I put so much effort into making Christmas nice and
I always shower my husband with presents. This year, my
husband's sister is visiting from overseas, and I had to
do all the Christmas gift shopping for his sister because
my husband didn't lift a finger to shop for gifts
for her.

Speaker 3 (27:49):
By the way, this.

Speaker 1 (27:50):
Comes from Avian Empress, and if you want to submit
your own stories, go to the rslash Okay storytimes up Reddit.
I'm Carly, I'm Sophia, and we're here to give good
advice goofully, but we don't have all the really know
what we would do, so let us know what you
would do in the comments. I know he says he
wouldn't even respond when I kept asking him over and
over again what we should get for his sister. I'm

(28:10):
mentioning this just for context to show how seriously I
take Christmas and how important it is for me to
ensure everyone has a great Christmas and plenty of great
gifts to open. Anyway, I gave my Christmas list to
my husband and made it clear how much I really
wanted this fancy tea kettle. I mentioned this many times

(28:31):
so that he knew how important it was to me
that Santa bring me that tea kettle. I knew he
got me the tea kettle because before Christmas I saw
a box in the garage that said the brand on it.

Speaker 3 (28:43):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (28:43):
No, even if I hadn't seen the box, I knew
he would get the kettle because he knows how much
I wanted it, and he did drop me a hint
that Santa was gonna spend a lot of money on
me this year. To be fair, I will admit that
he did get me all the gifts I wanted for Christmas.
That's where the heartbreak comes in.

Speaker 3 (29:02):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (29:02):
A few days before Christmas, after he wrapped his gifts
and put them under the tree, I noticed that none
of them were the right size to contain the tea kettle. No.
I mentioned this and asked him to please wrap the
kettle and put it under the tree. He failed to
do so. On Christmas, we opened gifts and there was
no tea kettle. After all the gift opening was done,

(29:24):
I asked him where my tea kettle was because I
knew he got it for me. He ignored me and
made comments to the effect that maybe I could hope for.

Speaker 3 (29:32):
It next year.

Speaker 1 (29:33):
At this point I started getting annoyed. I kept asking
him to cut it out and give me my kettle,
but he kept ignoring me. This escalated as I gradually
got more and more upset. I started to doubt my
senses and started wondering what happened to that box? Did
I really see the brand on that box? Yes, of course,
I'm not likely to hallucinate. Could he have somehow had

(29:55):
Could he have somehow had second thoughts and returned it.
If so, why on earth would he do that? Since
he knows how much I wanted the kettle? Why is
he doing this? Where the heck is my kettle? I
was so confused and annoyed, compounded by the fact that
my husband just kept ignoring my inquiries and seemed unconcerned
that I was getting more and more upset. Finally, I

(30:17):
just blew up and angrily spouted off about how I
got him everything he wanted and more, but he couldn't
give me the one gift that everyone knew I was
excited about. I even angrily got my iPad out and
started ordering one for myself while muttering about how messed
up this was.

Speaker 3 (30:32):
You're being under paused.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
This is insane.

Speaker 3 (30:35):
You're being unreasonable.

Speaker 1 (30:37):
We're throwing a fit because we didn't get a Christmas gift.

Speaker 3 (30:40):
You are being on I don't care how much you
wanted it.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
He is not required to get it for you. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (30:46):
There are so many times where I didn't get like
a thing that I was like, oh I really want this.
Oh yeah, like they're definitely gonna give me this, and
I didn't get it. You know what you do? You
sit down, you go, oh, I love everything else, and
you smile through the pain of whatever disappointment.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
We certainly don't do this in front of everybody too,
Like this is in front of sister in law? Is it?

Speaker 3 (31:06):
Actually?

Speaker 1 (31:07):
It's on Christmas Day? She was coming to spend Christmas.

Speaker 3 (31:09):
I thought this was just that. If this was anyone else,
that would be All I know is that she was
buying gifts for sister in law open on Christmas. I
think it's just them together, okay, but regardless, Still, you're
throwing a fit. Weird. You're throwing a fit over a
tea kettle. You don't care how much you wanted it.

Speaker 1 (31:28):
I can understand being like, why didn't he get me
the thing that I literally said I wanted the most.

Speaker 3 (31:32):
You could be upset and you can maybe bring it
up later, but like when you're opening gifts, honestly the
rest of your list, I think you're being really unreasonable
and a little ungrateful.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
My husband didn't flinch. My brother and sister in law
were They're witnessing all of you.

Speaker 3 (31:47):
You are literally throwing up. Yes, you're literally dudley. That
is so embarrassing. That is so you are. Okay, now
you're undoubtedly the a hole. I thought it was just
you and him alone, and I was like, wow, that's
messed up. You're in front of people. Total.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
At this point, I was very deeply upset and Christmas
was totally ruined.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
Yeah, you ruined it.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
Later, I discovered that my tea kettle had been sitting
unwrapped on a chair in the other room, apparently waiting
for me to find it. As soon as I saw it,
I burst into tears because I felt stabbed in the
heart that he would pull such a cruel prank on Christmas.
I asked him repeatedly, many many times to please wrap
my kettle and put it under the tree, but instead

(32:34):
he chose to hide my gift from me and ignore
my questions about where it was when it became clear
it wasn't included in the gift unwrapping you suck. I
was so devastated I couldn't even stay for Christmas dinner.
I withdrew to my bedroom, feeling utterly shattered.

Speaker 3 (32:51):
I can't even.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
Look at the tea kettle or any of my gifts.
I haven't opened anything. I'm too traumatized. I sent him
the at Hatch text. You texted this man? You couldn't
even have a conversation face to face?

Speaker 3 (33:06):
Are you kidding me? You're a child?

Speaker 1 (33:08):
Yeah, to explain how I feel and why what he
did feel so deeply violating to me. I feel like
I can't trust him anymore. I understand that in his mind,
maybe this was a funny joke, but once he saw
how upset I was getting, he had so many opportunities
to back down and end it, but he kept going
with me. It almost makes me feel like he was
enjoying tormenting me. He hasn't apologized at all, even after

(33:30):
my text explaining how this made me feel. He came
in while I was crying in bed, lied down and
hugged me. I told him not to touch me, and
he said that my reaction is not normal and that
what he did was nothing. He keeps trying to shrug
this off, but I feel so deeply hurt and broken inside.

Speaker 3 (33:47):
Your reaction is not normal. You're insane. You're having a
toddler tantrum over getting what you wanted.

Speaker 1 (33:53):
Right, I'm like, did you not get something as a child?
And that's just like really sticking with you, Like, what's
happening here?

Speaker 3 (33:58):
This is your Dudley.

Speaker 1 (34:00):
The bottom line is that I feel like he deliberately
tried to upset me and torture me, and at the
very least he didn't care at all that I was
so upset. All he had to do at any point
along the way was saying, Okay, honey, you do have
another gift here it is. Why didn't he stop me
when I was ordering.

Speaker 3 (34:15):
The kettle for myself? Because you're crazy?

Speaker 1 (34:17):
He just kept on with the charade. From my perspective,
it's almost like he planned it this way to show
his sister, Look how crazy my wife can be.

Speaker 3 (34:25):
Yeah, you are crazy. Yeah, it's not on him, You're crazy.

Speaker 1 (34:28):
He deliberately provoked me in a very inappropriate way on
Christmas just to get some sort of sick, twisted upper hand.

Speaker 3 (34:36):
It feels like you have like paranoid schizophrenia, like you
literally think that he's coming after you for getting a
gift for you.

Speaker 1 (34:43):
I'm just confused. We've got a little bit left anticipating questions.
This didn't escalate quickly. Everything was very festive and nice
during the gift exchange and unwrapping, which took almost an
hour because there were so many presents. I always go
overboard for him him, and I went overboard for his
sister as well. I did not erupt or blow up

(35:04):
out of nowhere. I kept asking about the kettle after
the gift exchange was over, and this was a very
slow boil before I lost my cool. Anyway, Yeah, please
let me know what you think. My family seems to
think I'm very sensitive, but I don't think they understand
that this is not about a gift. It's about him
planning and executing a prank on me that he knew

(35:25):
was hurting me. And he kept on while watching things unravel,
seemingly unconcerned, even after I explained to him how it
made me feel. He still doesn't seem to care and
hasn't apologized.

Speaker 3 (35:36):
You need to apologize to him and everyone who was
at that party. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
Also, I think she reversed it earlier she said my
brother and sister in law, but it is her husband's
sister and brother in law.

Speaker 3 (35:46):
She that makes sense. It's my brother in law and
sister in law, so that would be true.

Speaker 1 (35:50):
Earlier she just said my brother and my sister in law,
so I mistook it as like, oh, he probably sees
this all the time. Yeah, it's husband's sister, which I
thought that's what she said at the beginning, but then
we switched it at one point, so this is probably
new for everyone in that room.

Speaker 3 (36:06):
Yikes, big old yikes. We have some comments.

Speaker 1 (36:09):
Comment one, you're overreacting. While I don't think your husband
should have been ignoring you or playing around when you
asked about the cup, you are still an adult and
it is on you to regulate your emotions no matter
what someone else is doing. With that being said, I
agree that your husband should have said it was a
prank when you were visibly getting worked up. Does he

(36:29):
frequently do things like this to get a reaction?

Speaker 3 (36:32):
Out of you.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
If he does, he is not a safe partner for you. Also,
why are you buying presents for his sister? If he
wanted his sister to have presents, he could have and
should have brought them. I think that's another part of
the reason that this is impacting you so much. You
feel like you went above and beyond for him and
his family just for him to basically antagonize you, and
ended up with the opposite experience of him and his

(36:54):
family members.

Speaker 3 (36:57):
Comment we got it. Comment No, not giving op that
much leeway.

Speaker 1 (37:02):
I do agree that if he wasn't sitting there in
shock and you realize that she was getting upset, sure
you say, oh the actually it's in the other room.
I think she still would have been upset. Yeah, she
still would have been like, I told you to wrap
this last night. Why didn't you wrap it and put
it out of the tree.

Speaker 3 (37:16):
The fact that she was before, regardless of like you know, yes,
maybe he should have like stopped the explosion from happening. Yeah,
she shouldn't have exploded. Yeah, we do need to not
act like that in front of guests. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 (37:29):
I am checking for this. Oh, we have the text.

Speaker 3 (37:32):
Oh boy, let's see.

Speaker 1 (37:34):
This is from Ope to husband. I am crushed that
you chose to turn my biggest Christmas wish into an
inappropriate and very cruel prank, and that you stuck with
it even while I was obvious I was getting more
and more upset. You had so many opportunities to back down,
but you kept with the cruel prank despite my visible upset.
That made me feel like you don't care about my feelings,

(37:55):
and even that you were enjoying hurting me and mocking
me on the day that should be about family and support.
I ended up feeling dismissed and unimportant. I humiliated, traumatized,
and deeply hurt. Oh my god, and he said, oh no,
turn the light off outside.

Speaker 3 (38:13):
One hundred percent. Overreacted, just astronomically overreacting.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
And that's the end of this story. We're going to
go to the next one.

Speaker 2 (38:21):
Hey, this is Riley, your favorite Southern bale. We're going
to get back to these stories. But here's three minutes
worth of that or sponsors.

Speaker 3 (38:29):
My brother insulted our parents, so I reminded him of
everything they sacrificed.

Speaker 1 (38:34):
What did they sacrifice for you?

Speaker 3 (38:37):
My mom and dad aren't educated. They came from poverty.
My dad sold vegetables and my mom was a tailor.
We are three children. I twenty six female, twenty two
male brat an eldest sister twenty eight females. Despite not
having much resources, our parents gave us a good education
and made sure we got a degree. They took out
a loan for me to study in a neighboring state college,

(38:59):
and I tried to make up for all the sacrifices
they made. Mom sold gold for our needs. By the way,
this comes from ancient Champion five three oh three. And
if you want to smit your own stories, go to
the r slash Okay storytime subpared it.

Speaker 1 (39:12):
I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, and we're here.

Speaker 3 (39:14):
To give good advice. Scoofy, Well, we don't have all
the answers.

Speaker 1 (39:17):
We only know what we'd.

Speaker 3 (39:18):
Do, So let us know what you would do in
the commons, and op says, both me and my elder
sister work in a national bank and make good money
to take care of our parents, who have zero pennies
saved for their retirement. We have married our husbands and
we were clear to them that our parents will be
taken care of by us, and they also wanted the same,

(39:38):
so it works for us. Mom and dad live with
elder sister and take care of elder sisters children, so
it works for all. Buying mom jewelry was the proudest
moment of my life. Our brother always hated my parents'
profession and always felt ashamed to take our mom to
a parent teacher meeting because our mom can't speak English.
Teachers were unhappy with his attitude in My parents really

(40:00):
felt dejected throughout his school life, even when we tried
to correct him. Mom and dad asked us not to
do that by saying it's just a teenage thing. They
wanted a son as it was pressured by grandparents to
have a son. That being said, we were given equal
opportunity and love by parents. We put him through engineering
college and funded it to help our parents. He got

(40:22):
placed in three multinational corporations and excelled at our country's
biggest engineering exam, which will lead to a prestigious, prestigious
officer job that he can retire from at sixty and
the respect you get is a different level. He is
the most academic among the three siblings, so we planned

(40:42):
to throw a party at my house, and he wanted
to invite some top level people. He told us to
keep our parents at home. That's so rude. Yew I
and my sister make clear that isn't going to happen
and he has to be respectful. Happened, and when some
officer asked where are his parents, he said their home resting,

(41:05):
which was heard by our mother. She kept crying and
told dad. Both went to leave. I was confused and asked,
and they told me. Finally, my sister and I snapped.
We insulted our brother and called him a brat and
told him about all the sacrifices they made. We told
him how much of a pathetic failure of a son
he was, and that we're going to disown him from

(41:27):
now on. We told him we gave him a free
pass as the youngest child, but we won't take the
disrespect for our parents who tried to give us everything.
He started a fire back, saying that our parents' work
isn't respectful, but was stopped by the senior officials and
his friends at the party. They all said he's pathetic
and they want nothing to do with him. The officer

(41:48):
even said he came from an orphanage and continued to
shame my brother after the party. The brat has lost
us friends and respect. He kept messaging from different ideas,
but we have blocked all of them. Mom and dad
are still saying that they want to give him a
second chance, but that isn't going to happen. My mom's
point is that he is still young and we should

(42:08):
not be so hard on him, which is making me
feel like maybe I ruined my brother's reputation. How old
is brother? Twenty two? It's pretty young. That doesn't mean no,
that he can get away with doing that or saying that,
but it is young enough where I think the parents
need to step in and be like that's unacceptable. Where
you guys should step in and be like that's unacceptable.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
Yeah, And I don't want to like, I don't want
to be like, maybe they shouldn't have done it so
publicly because I think that that might have been the
only way that he was going to learn about it.
But you potentially just ruined his long term care, which
does kind of suck. But he was being a brat, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (42:47):
Comment one, not the a whole. Unfortunately, your mom and
dad giving him a free pass to be rude because
he's a teenager, has not done your brother any favors.
He's still rude and disrespectful and basically got what he deserved.
He should work on being a better person instead of
pastoring you. Gama two says, tell your parents that this
is a lesson he must learn or he will have

(43:09):
a miserable life. Look at how his coworkers responded to him.
He will never succeed unless he changes. Keep him blocked
until he has truly learned his lesson. Common three says
having a go at him during the party was a
bad idea on your part and your sister's. Opie, you
don't do these things in public if you want a
receptive audience. And yes, probably did untold damage to his reputation.

(43:31):
That's my rating of everyone's sex here. Opie says. He
insulted parents publicly, so yeah, he deserved it, And there
is an update. I'm kind of in the mix of
like should have gotten consequences, Like, yes, tell him off,
but maybe not in front of everyone.

Speaker 1 (43:53):
Yeah, I'm at the same point because if you are
gonna cut him off, let him just have his job
and don't even worry about it. Yeah, but now he
might not have that and he might come back to
parents kind of thing.

Speaker 3 (44:05):
Yeah, and then they you know, they would have been
easier to put him off.

Speaker 1 (44:08):
Yeah, if you just let him have his job for
the rest of his life.

Speaker 3 (44:12):
I also just think like in general, not even sparing
his feelings or whatever, it's not really about him. I
think in general, when you're having a family related conversation,
it is best to do that, not in like a
public setting. Yeah, just it's like polite, Yeah, I can understand,
but it was the artist situation. Yeah, in this situation,

(44:33):
he was being like, they're not Yeah, my parents aren't here,
which is so rude. So I'm kind of like flip
flopping here because I can understand both sides of this.

Speaker 1 (44:45):
There's a part of me too that just hates public confrontations.
That's so I think. It's just like I need to
get past that uncomfortableness. I can't.

Speaker 3 (44:53):
Yeah, No, that that's kind of where I'm at. It's like,
I understand why you did it and why you reach
that boily point, but also I'm just like, but there
is an update three days later, instead of apologizing, he
has doubled down oh boy, and has gone fully zero
contact blocked us all. My parents finally have seen the

(45:14):
light and decided to let him go from their heart.
My sister and I earn well enough to take care
of them in their old age and our families. We're
taking them to a pan Asia trip this summer. We
love our brother, but he can't be forever babied by us.
I'm making sure my son doesn't turn out like him,
and help and learn every tour like his sisters and

(45:35):
make him humble and self reliant. My brother was gifted academically,
but I wish his heart was gifted too.

Speaker 1 (45:42):
No, I stand by. It's like, I think it's just
my personal issues.

Speaker 3 (45:46):
Yeah, he was a brat. I think he will probably
as he grows, Yeah, realize that he was a brat. Hopefully.
Uh So kids in their early twenties tend to as
they grow. Really, Oh, my parents are people and did
so much for me, and I would not have gotten
here right now.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
He's like, I'm only twenty two and I'm thriving.

Speaker 3 (46:08):
Yeah, he's like he's got like these amazing job offers
and stuff. So got it hopefully, Yeah, hopefully figures it out.
I still wish him the best and to have success
in life. But I won't be taking him back even
if he asks. I'm very cold when I need to be.
He will never be allowed in my life again. Unless
he makes a public apology, A simple sorry. He won't

(46:31):
cut it for me anyways. I recently bought a house
with my hard work, and I can't let him spoil
my mood forever. I'm thankful to my mom and dad
for giving me an education and helping me to succeed
in life. I wish he had understood their sacrifices. Comment
one says his job is going to get a lot harder,
especially considering his coworkers hurt him and thought he was trashed.

(46:52):
You probably will be back sooner than later when he
is fully iced out at work and doesn't get promotions
at it. I completely missed you just closed on your
new place. Congratulations, op I'm glad his negativity isn't getting
you down and that you and your family are moving
forward and upwork. Common two says, I totally agree, but
I don't think life works that way. There's ton of

(47:14):
There's a ton of stuck up people that will agree
with Opie's brother and look down on people working manual jobs.
If the world has taught us anything. It's that people
will just forget transgressions or bad behavior after a long time,
as long as he keeps his head down. There's tons
of awful people in high level positions that will never
pay for what they've done as long as they produce

(47:36):
the work. Most people really don't care. It's the sad
truth and common three. At least your parents did their
best and raised more than one kid. Write. I also
pity your brother, because being ashamed of your family because
their jobs aren't respectable is pathetic. If they worked hard
and kept you out of poverty, their jobs are more
than good enough. And that is the end of that story. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

(48:01):
he got you know, he made a choice and now
has lost his family, and hopefully in the years to
come he figures out, you know, what he did was wrong.

Speaker 1 (48:14):
I have hope that he will. And that's the end
of this story. We're gonna go to the next one.
My mother's disgusting habits put our newborn at risk, so
I asked her to leave.

Speaker 3 (48:25):
You're gross.

Speaker 1 (48:26):
I just had a baby, and the plan was my
mom was going to drive a few states away. She
was going to stay at my house, watch my dogs
be there for the delivery and help with the baby.
She tells me a few weeks before that she's bringing
her dogs with her. No, I had to tell her
that one of her dogs, male peas on everything and

(48:46):
is not allowed upstairs. We just put in new floors.
She said, she understood. We cleaned out a whole room
in the basement. I told her she didn't have to
sleep down there, but the dogs needed to stay in
the basement. By the way, this comes from Rude Conclusion
fifty nine forty eight. And if you want tousbmit your
own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

Speaker 3 (49:08):
I'm Carly, I'm Sophia.

Speaker 1 (49:09):
And we're here to give good advice goofully, but we
don't have all the answers. We only know what we
would do, So let us know what you would do
in the comments, Andop says the first night was fine.
The dogs were ridiculous, though, and she didn't really control them.
The second day, she put them in the basement like
I asked, but her bigger dog whinds the entire time,

(49:31):
like loudly. We left that night to go to the
hotel because I was scheduled to be induced early the
next morning, well, my water broke. I called her to
let her know, but told her not to hurry because
I wasn't contracting or dilated. She told me she was
in a panic and that's why she did this. She
had the dogs upstairs and put them behind the baby

(49:54):
gate in the kitchen, which connects to a mudroom where
my cats have their litter box. I didn't know until
she got there. I asked about my dogs and then
asked if her dogs were in the basement. When she
told me, I was pissed. Now my cats can't use
their litter box unless they sneak into the room. The

(50:15):
whole night, she was trying to get me to have
a sea section, and she was being really weird and
comparing her pregnancies to mine. She kept making backhanded jokes too,
specifically to my partner. It was really weird. I had
to borderline yell at her because I didn't want the
sea section. She did finally go home because she knew

(50:35):
I was upset about the dogs and I would be
in labor for a while. On a positive note, she
did clean my house and make us a couple easy
to reheat meals. I didn't ask her to clean my house,
so it was nice of her. I did ask for
her to help with the baby for the first couple
days though, and I'll get to that real fast. Though

(50:57):
I don't think it's insane that she brought her dogs.
I do think it's crossing the boundary to let them upstairs.
But like, if you're asking someone to come stay with
you for like a week and they have dogs, they
gotta come, yes, But but you keep them in the
basement where they were acting.

Speaker 3 (51:13):
Yeah, I mean, like at the I probably I think
that if I knew someone was about to have baby
and they were like, hey, can you come help, I
probably would not want to make any more stress happen.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
I wouldn't want to. But what would you do with
your dog?

Speaker 3 (51:29):
If it's just this week, then I'd be like, yeah,
I'd get someone to sit the dogs. But if it's extended,
maybe I see that. But like, regardless of that, definitely
shouldn't have gone upstairs.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
Yeah, because she was already gonna watch Op's dogs as well. Yeah,
so she comes back when I call her to letter,
now I'm about to start pushing. She shows up. But
there were complications. I ended up needing a sea section
without going into detail. I had a very traumatic sea
section my first pregnancy, which is I didn't want one.

(52:01):
I noticed while the nurse and doctor and partner were
consoling me, she was just standing there. She didn't even
come up to my bed. She just left when the
doctor said he would get ready. Fast forward, we get
home and we have the baby. We opened the door
and the house smells like sick.

Speaker 3 (52:21):
No. No, I immediately if someone was smoking, that is
such a line. Yeah, I'd be like, no, you got
you gotta go. I don't care if you were gonna
help me, gotta go. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
She not only smokes in my house knowing we were
bringing the baby home, but threw away the butts in
our trash inside the house.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
That's just like a fire hazard and just gross. Almost
set the house on fire.

Speaker 1 (52:48):
My partner was pissed. We also found several spots in
the house where her dog pete on the floor, even
though she said they weren't upstairs. We knew she was lying.
We're still finding peace spots. I knew she shut my
dogs in our room the entire time because I found
things that were chewed up. She was supposed to watch

(53:09):
my dogs, not lock them up in their own home.
I explained this to her, that this was a crucial
time because we were bringing home a newborn and it
should be a comfortable bonding experience and not one filled
with anxiety because of being locked up and two strange
dogs in the house. Why didn't she get a dog
sitter is beyond me. She drove fourteen hours with them

(53:33):
and then didn't bother asking anyone here to watch them.
Oh my god. And then we had such a rough
first night, because you know, newborn stuff. She was supposed
to help us, but she didn't. I was cranky, of course,
because I didn't sleep at the hospital, so I was
on day like three or four of no sleep. My

(53:53):
dad had taken the dogs for the night, and I
told her the dogs could absolutely not come back. They
were too loud and it was too much. So she
decides to throw a pity party the next day and
says she's just gonna head back home. I talked to
her and told her we still need help with the
baby if she wanted to stay. This was the whole
point of her being here, and she was more worried

(54:14):
about her dogs. She showed me a picture of her
dog that my dad took and I noticed the dog
looked cleaner. I asked her if she bathed him at
our house and she said no. But when I went
to take a shower, it was clogged with white fur.

Speaker 3 (54:28):
Like dude at the Again, at this point, what like,
she's not health causing me, She's causing you undue stress
or unneeded stress. Let's just get rid of her.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
It all felt so selfish, like her dogs in bad
habits were more important. Mind you, I'm a huge dog person.
My pups mean everything to me, and I love other
people's pets. But this was too much. It was all
very weird because she had gotten so much better with
some of her mental health issues, and our relationship gotten better.

(55:01):
Then she did all of this and lied. She did
confess to smoking in the house, but lied and said
it was only one, which was bs. If I just
confront her, she will just keep lying. She used to
do it all the time.

Speaker 3 (55:14):
My advice is to send her home.

Speaker 1 (55:17):
Yeah, say so much.

Speaker 3 (55:19):
Yeah, not the baby bye. Yeah. I mean you can
be nice about it, or you can say you violated
our trust. Yeah, and did this, this and this, and
then she goes, well no I didn't. It's like okay,
either way, cool, bye.

Speaker 1 (55:29):
Still too much get out. But anyway, my partner, who
was doing everything for me, is sick of it all.
She said, she and she said she isn't welcome in
our home anymore. I'm in agreement, but I don't know
how to tell her without her gaslighting me and throwing
a huge pity party. Uh. Edit, I was so upset
I didn't clarify. She left early yesterday morning. It just

(55:52):
has been getting to us because the house still smells
like sis and we're still finding pea spots. And we
have an update update. My partner just found dog crap
all over the basement. She didn't even clean up after them.

Speaker 3 (56:09):
Ah, dreadful, disgusting.

Speaker 1 (56:12):
Ya, she's not even taking the dogs outside. Do you now?

Speaker 3 (56:14):
You know you can't rely on her?

Speaker 1 (56:15):
Yeah? Yeah, And that's the end of this story. We're
gonna go to the next one.

Speaker 3 (56:21):
My step siblings refuse to let me care for our
father because I'm not of his blood.

Speaker 1 (56:26):
Let them take care of them trigger warning.

Speaker 3 (56:29):
Mentions of mistreatment. So this is a very complicated situation,
and I'm going to make this long for backstory, My
mother was married three times and had one daughter during
each of her marriages. My older sisters are forty six
and forty three, and I am the youngest at thirty three.
We come from a very harmful, toxic family. By the way,

(56:51):
this comes from skitzoonw twenty two. And if you want
to speit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay,
storytime suppered it. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, and we're we're
here to give good advice. Goofy, but we didn't have
all the answers. We only know what we'd do, So
let us know what you would do in the comments
and up, he says. My mother's first husband divorced her
before my oldest sister was even eight months old. That

(57:13):
marriage ended quickly, and my sister never really had a
father figure from him. My mother's second husband, will call
him Steve. Loved my mother and sister dearly. He even
adopted my oldest sister, Jane, before my middle sister Stacy
was even conceived. Steve loved both his girls equally and
never showed favorites. Steve is a great man, but he

(57:34):
was a heavy drinker, so he and my mom divorced
when Stacy was seven. They still co parented very well,
though then my mom met my dad, and then my
mom met my dad. We'll call him Marv. He promised
her the world was very loving to my sister's and
said if he ever had kids, he would want another princess.
My mom was hooked. They got married, had me, and

(57:56):
Marv's true colors started to show. I had the biggest rooms,
the best toys. I was the smartest, the sweetest, and
the most clever. My sisters were just obnoxious, disrespectful, and
a huge burden. Then he gave my mom an ultimatum,
send Jane and Stacy to live with Steve full time,

(58:18):
or Marv would take me and leave and she would
never see us again. I was two when this happened.
It broke her, but she didn't want another marriage to
fail and was so scared she would lose me, so
she sent my sisters to Steve, who was so happy
to have his girls back. Marv worked out of state
as a contractor when I was three and was maybe
home one weekend every two months. Because of that, my

(58:41):
mom and I would often travel up state to visit
Steve and my sisters. Steve was always kind to me.
It became a joke after a while because he would
always buy me two boxes of animal crackers, one for
me and the other for me to give to his
dog Buster. I was a sharer. Eventually, Jane started getting
into trouble, so she came to live with us. I
loved having at least one sister there. I would constantly

(59:03):
sneak into her room and sleep next to her. But
my mother started becoming harmful herself, and Marv is a manipulative,
self absorbed person, liar, and a serial cheater. Jane ran
away from home a few times. Stacy, who was still
hurt by Marv's antics, rarely visited, but when she did
I was glued to her. Marv pretended to be happy

(59:26):
and welcoming, but behind closed doors he would fight with
my mother at night about kids that weren't his. At
the same time, he would tell everyone he had three
amazing daughters. Steve never said a bad word about Marv,
but unfortunately Marv had plenty of bs to spew about Steve.
I never believed it, though Steve was a part of
my life for two decades. I respect Anne love that man,

(59:50):
and he is still family in my eyes. When my
mom passed away thirteen years ago, I tried to invite
him to the funeral. Marv uninvited him and so but
it was not normal or appropriate. Eight years ago, I
got married, but in order to receive my dowry, my
mother left me. I had to play by Marv and
his new wife's rules. I wanted to invite Steve to

(01:00:11):
my wedding and stated that he was important to me
and my sisters. He was a part of our lives.
Whether Marv liked it or not. Marv tried to cancel
my wedding, so I relented. I know it hurts Steve
and it is something I regret to this day. We
stopped communicating around that time, but we were still friends
on social media and would chat occasionally. I knew Steve

(01:00:32):
was battling Kisser again, and when Stacy told me not
to visit her this Christmas, I knew things were bad. Yesterday,
Jane texted me all the details of what Steve has
been going through. Honestly, that upset me because I had
been asking for updates for months, only to be met
with radio silence. Then she dropped the bomb, Steve has

(01:00:54):
come home to pass away. I am in nursing, so
I told her I would make sure my kids and
husband were settled, and I would drive through the night
to be there and help Steve. I wanted to make
sure he was comfortable and cared for properly. Jane said
I was not allowed to come because I'm not his
daughter and they do not need or want me there.
Here's where I may be the a hole. I called

(01:01:17):
my grandma crying and said I knew I was the
black sheep of the family and Marv had made things
so stressful that being his daughter meant I was cut
out as well. I have no contact with Marv. I
am my own person, and I am a dang good
nurse who loves Steve. To be left in the dark
and not allowed to come because I'm not blood feels
like byes. I thought there was going to be a break,

(01:01:39):
and there is no break. Oh, but there is a
little bit left to the story. My grandma said I
needed to take a deep breath and had no right
to have my feelings hurt because my sisters are losing
their dad, not me. I screamed that I had every
right to feel whatever I felt and that he's still
my family. Stacy said I'm not an a hole and

(01:02:00):
plane that Jane and Steve's second ex wife are running
the show, she said, even she is barely allowed over.
She knows I care and want to help Jane. My grandma,
my aunt and my uncle said my grandma didn't deserve
that reaction and that I'm too sensitive and trying to
turn it into a pity party about me. I just
want to help care for a man I consider family

(01:02:21):
and give my sister's peace of mind. He deserves respect, care, tenderness,
and dignity. I wanted to make sure he had that
rather than a paid stranger coming in doing the bare minimum.
Thanks for reading. And that's the end of the story.
I am. It seems like Stacy is just kind of
pushing out anyone who she doesn't think is Related's because

(01:02:44):
Jane was adopted. Yeah, so maybe that's part of the
reason why Jane is being put out, which is totally unacceptable.

Speaker 1 (01:02:51):
Yeah, passing brings out crazy things in people. And that's
the end of this story. We're gonna go to the
next one. Hey, it's car your favorite Axelottel host.

Speaker 3 (01:03:02):
Here.

Speaker 1 (01:03:03):
We're going to get back to the stories. But here's
three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My sister used
her kid to guilt me to give her money, so
I snapped decoy. I thirty eight female, and my youngest sister,
thirty two female, let's call her Karen, usually get along,
but ever since she started dating her new boyfriend let's

(01:03:25):
call him John, things have become strained. This is mainly
because she keeps demanding money from me. By the way,
this comes from seriously, oh WWJD. And if you want
to submit your own stories, go to the rslage. Okay,
storytime separated it. I'm Carly, I'm Sophia, and we're here
to give good advice goofully, But we don't have all

(01:03:47):
the answers. We only know what we would do, so
let us know what you would do in the comments
for reference. I work a demanding job that pays decently,
but a huge junk of my income goes towards my
loans and my special needs animals. Karen has a son,
nine year old from her previous relationship and a recent boyfriend, John,
who also has a son eight years old from his

(01:04:09):
previous relationship. Karen enrolled both kids in an after school
martial arts program and they compete in tournaments nationwide. The
kids love it, and I have never had an issue
with that. On top of that, Karen has been single
handedly supporting John, his moving business and his son. In short,

(01:04:30):
Karen has paid thousands and John rarely repays her for anything.
Karen also has a spending problem, such as buying ATVs
and twelve inch tablets with Wi Fi plans, on top
of the kids, martial arts, private classes, trips, and other expenses.
Regardless of what Karen does with her money, that has

(01:04:53):
always been her choice. This includes her relationship with John.
One day roached me asking for one thousand dollars to
buy a new laptop. Instead, I offered her my laptop
as an alternative. I barely use it beyond watching Netflix,
and I had just updated it so it ran really well.

(01:05:13):
Karen got upset and said she did not want it,
insinuating that she needed a new laptop. Eventually, she begrudgingly
took my laptop.

Speaker 3 (01:05:23):
Why did you even give her your laptop?

Speaker 1 (01:05:25):
You know it's crazy? Why?

Speaker 3 (01:05:27):
But who are they again? What's the relationship?

Speaker 1 (01:05:29):
Sisters?

Speaker 3 (01:05:30):
I think this is crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:05:31):
A couple weeks later, Karen came back and asked for
fifteen hundred, saying she needed the money for bills with
the frequent requests. I did not feel comfortable and told
her no. She begged, but I stayed firm and left.
Since I was headed out, she followed me as I
got into the car with our mom Lucy. Karen then

(01:05:52):
told our mom that she should tell me to give
her money. I laughed because it was absurd that Karen
thought I would do it. Lucy told Karen that she
had drained her savings and given her everything she had.
That caught my attention, and that is how I found
out Karen had been borrowing thousands from our mom for months.

(01:06:14):
Karen had not paid Lucy back and insisted she would
have plenty of money from her tax return to cover
what she owed. I was angry, but let it go.
Lucy's an adult and can make her own decisions, but
I decided that I would refuse to give Lucy money period.
That was until Karen started using her eight year old
son to ask me for money. On another occasion, I

(01:06:37):
was in the car with Lucy, Karen and her son.
I was chatting with my friends on my headset when
I overheard Karen and her son talking about his project.
Karen then told her son to ask his aunt me
to buy the projects supplies for him. Karen figured she
would use her son to start asking me for money. Dumbfounded,

(01:06:59):
I didn't spawned, but Lucy offered to get the materials
and Karen was content. A week later, the same scenario
happened with Lucy, me, Karen, and her son in the car.
Karen told her son to tell me to give him
book fair money, and he threw a paper at me
with a list of books to buy. Karen then said

(01:07:19):
I owed her son a gift because I do not
do enough for him like I do for our other
nieces and nephews. She called me his rich auntie and
said I should be happy to buy whatever he wants.
She was serious and kept smirking at me. I was furious,
but held my tongue because no eight year old should
hear what I wanted to say. Karen then started telling

(01:07:41):
Lucy about the fourteen tournaments her son would be doing
next year across the States in the next seven months.
She mentioned how she could save money by staying with
relatives or avoiding lodging fees. I pointed out that it
would still be expensive with gas, food, tournament fees, and
time off work. Karen dismissed me and said she would

(01:08:01):
figure it out. After the kids were dropped off, Karen
asked what I was buying her son for Christmas. She
said again that I owed her son a gift.

Speaker 3 (01:08:11):
My son really likes Gucci. He loves Gucci bags.

Speaker 1 (01:08:16):
And extra cans of gas for the car.

Speaker 3 (01:08:19):
Yeah, he loves that. Oh, it's his favorite thing. He
also really wants a new computer.

Speaker 1 (01:08:24):
At that point, I had enough and I flat out
told her I was not buying any Christmas gifts this year,
and then I did not owe her or her son anything.

Speaker 3 (01:08:33):
M mmmmm.

Speaker 1 (01:08:34):
I explained that I do not have kids by choice,
and that her decision to have kids does not entitle
them to my money. I also told her that how
I spend my money is on my terms. Karen said nothing,
So I thought the issue was dropped.

Speaker 3 (01:08:50):
You've already been doing it, but just don't give her
anything anytime she asks for anything.

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
You're like, no, all right, stick to your PEPs.

Speaker 3 (01:08:57):
Yeah, maybe maybe sell your ATVs girl.

Speaker 1 (01:09:00):
Yeah, so your ATV, sell your iPads. Recently, both Karen
and our mom brought it up again, saying it was
unfair how much I had done for Jenny's kids compared
to Karen's. For context, Jenny, thirty six female, is our
middle sister with three kids and is a repeat offender.
Last year, Jenny was arrested five separate times in front
of her children for various reasons. During those times, Lucy, Karen,

(01:09:25):
and I helped care for her kids until Jenny made bond.
During one of those times, I bought Jenny's kids coats, shoes,
and clothes because they had nothing appropriate to wear. It
was a low blow that Karen and Lucy used this
as guilt against me. I told them both that it
is my money and I will spend it how I want.

(01:09:47):
I added that they needed to drop it because I
was not budging. In my opinion, if Karen is that broke,
she should cut back on the expenses, find a part
time job, or ask someone else like John for her
or her son's father for money. Redditt Court, can you
please tell me, am I the a hole.

Speaker 3 (01:10:06):
Very much not the A hole. I think those are
both reasonable things to ask her to do.

Speaker 1 (01:10:10):
I can't imagine being like, well, you bought her other
sister's things and.

Speaker 3 (01:10:14):
It was like necessities, Yeah, like things they needed when
their mom was arrested.

Speaker 1 (01:10:20):
In front of them. Yeah, insane. Hold strong op hold strong,
and that's the end of this story.

All Episodes

My sister-in-law threw a PARTY got my son with strangers…without notifying me! -r/BORUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2671

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

The Joe Rogan Experience

Betrayal Season 5

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My sister-in-law threw a PARTY got my son with strangers…without notifying me! -r/BORUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2671