John Edward: Stop Trying to “Move On” After Loss (Use THIS Daily Practice to Make Peace Without the Answers)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I don't think anybody needs a reading. Nobody really wants

(00:02):
to stay with me. They want their loved one friends
to be here in the physical world. I want people
to recognize that a medium is not going to fix
their creed.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
John Edward, Welcome to on Purpose.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
It's great to have you here. It's not every day
I get to sit down with a psychic medium and
to dive into your mind, to dive into your work,
to learn more about an area that I'm curious about
as a form of healing and growth for people who
need it and seek it out. And I think my
first question to you is what do most people come

(00:33):
to you searching for? What are they seeking when they
come to you.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
When a client first decides that they want to see
a medium, they are thinking, I want to make that
connection back with the person who's left the physical world.
That seeking of what they think is closure is actually
really connection. So I think what they think they are
seeking as closure when it becomes the connection. I want
people to recognize that there's a survival of consciousness, that

(00:58):
life and love eternal, and that medium is not going
to fix their grief. So that's what they think that
they're coming for like they're going to be healed, They're
going to be fixed, and I think truth be told,
it's going to actually set them on a path of discovery.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
How many people are disappointed that they're not going to
get fixed and healed when they realize that's not the process,
And how many people continue to actually say, no, I'm
going to commit to this next phase.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
I don't know what the numbers would be, but I
can go by feeling right. I think that in every reading,
no matter how amazing the information may be, you're always
starting as a deficit because nobody wants to say with me.
Nobody really wants to stay with me. They want their
loved one and friends to be here in the physical world,
So we're already starting at a deficit. I think that
there's an expectation that somebody has when they go for reading.

(01:43):
I need to hear this, they need to say this,
I need to know this, and then that kind of
reflects back to them. Then I'll be okay, And they
may not hear that. They may not hear from the
person that they want to hear from, or they may
hear from multiple people. So there's always a level of
expectation management. And I think disappointment that comes into a
reading is that I always want people to be like, hey,

(02:05):
if you're not ready for this, don't go, like, process
your grief in a different way, because you can't make
someone come through, and you cannot make them say the
things that you want them to say.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
Yeah, when people are coming, are they usually coming because
they feel there was something I didn't say or something
I didn't hear, or is it that I just missed
that person and I want to access them if they
had some sort of dream, experience revelation, like where's that
need coming from for humans to want to connect with

(02:36):
someone who's passed on?

Speaker 1 (02:37):
I think it's all of the above. I think people
want to know that they're okay. I'd start there. The
physical death process takes them away from us, and as
a result of taking them away from us, it makes
us feel absent, it makes us feel empty, it makes
us feel vulnerable, and now I want to know are
they okay? So what I want people to know is

(02:58):
they are okay, but we are not the grieving or not,
and we're projecting onto them our not being okay. And
I think the process of them coming through is to
help a usuage some of that to say, no, I'm okay. Now,
let's work on you, like I'm okay, let's work on
what my passing has now done. What are the obstacles
in the blockages that are coming?

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, you know, you're very open to skeptics, and I
can imagine anyone who's listening or watching right now is
just like, Jay, why are you doing this? What's the point? Like,
none of this works, it's not real to make believe.
And you've probably heard every excuse in the book or
every thing in the book, because you've done this for
a long, long, long, long long time. What has been

(03:38):
your approach to meeting a skeptic who right now is
going that is just not true, that's not possible.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
My approach is to come on the journey. And what
I mean by that is I was that person. So
at a very young age, I had a reading that
put me on this path, and I had no choice
but to come to the understanding that this woman was
legitimate with what she was doing, because there's no way
possible that she could have known what she had known.
I ruled oubt that it was mind reading for the
simple reason that she could not have known something that
was going to happen when it wasn't in my mind

(04:08):
if I didn't know about it. So I'm an analytical
person and I was like, okay, I need to understand
what this is. How did she do this? And this
woman told me that I had this ability and that
in that first reading that I had with her, she said,
you're going to change the way millions of people look
at this subject matter. I was fifteen years old. You know.
When I jokingly say, it's like she could have said,
I parked my spaceship in the backyard and I'll take

(04:29):
you for a spin when we're done, right. It was
like analogous to that. The reality is that sent me
out a journey and I became a seeker. And I
think that when we were seekers, that leads to exploration.
And my exploration took me to the public library where
I read every book back in nineteen eighty five on
the Occult, and I was insatiable with information and my discovery,
which raised my awareness was this is common sense, like

(04:53):
everybody has this. This isn't psychic, this is just basic,
like you know, we all do this. So I started
asking questions. Was I would ask my high schoo friends.
Haven't you ever seen your deck grandfather? The answer was no.
I said, you've never had an apparition? The answer was no.
Have you ever had dreams I came through? The answer
was no. So I started to recognize that maybe my
understanding of myself at that time I needed to reframe

(05:14):
certain things. Then I went into the active development part.
But before that, I was the person who was debunking
the people that came to my grandmother's house to do readings.
So I get it. But there is a difference between
skepticism and cynicism. Skepticism says I'm not sure, show me.
Cynicism says I'm sure. No matter what you show me,
I'm not going to believe you. And I think that

(05:35):
you can't give somebody a belief system. And I'm down
with people being skeptical. The only part that I think
is not cool is when somebody defines a person's personal
motivations because they don't know me. So, you know, I've
had every possible scenario, you know, scammer, fraud, con grift,
or you name it. They kind of like fall off me.
Now forty years of doing this, you're kind of like

(05:56):
it is what it is. But the reality is, I've
put myself through positions of being studied and tested. I've
read for people in positions I've made sure that when
I read, I'm giving information, not philosophy. So I just
want people to come on that journey. You know, many
years ago, there was a woman who sent me a

(06:17):
letter and I hope I get this correctly. She was
an insurance fraud investigator and she kind of took it
on herself, like I don't like him, I'm gonna like,
I'm gonna use my skill set and I'm gonna follow
him around. And so she came to different events. But
before she did that, she went to the Skeptical Society
meetings and she was armed with what the things to

(06:39):
look for, and so she was looking for, you know,
reading body language, verbal intonation cues, and most importantly, she
wanted to see if the same people were being read
in different cities that they were like you know, actors
that were connected. When all was said and done, she
wrote me this amazing letter and she said, Wow, I'm
more concerned about the negative committation that people are putting

(07:01):
out about what you're doing then the reality that you
are just doing what you're doing. And I'm still friends
with her, like twenty five years later, right, and I remember,
like I got that letter and I just called her
up and I was like, a name is Marsha. I
was like Marcia and she's like who is this. I'm
like it's Jrawn Edward and she's like, oh, I said,
I just wanted to personally say thank you for the
letter because she did her due diligence. She came, she watched,

(07:23):
she saw, and I think that when people do that
with legitimate mediums, I think they will think differently because
it's basically showing them that there's a process that's happening here.
That is not to say that there aren't a ton
of other people that are out there. Go on TikTok,
you'll see them right, go on Instagram and YouTube and
they're there. I see them. I blocked them constantly. Skepticism

(07:46):
is helpful, so I want everybody to have that, but
be objectively skeptical. Don't be judgmental and skeptical.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
What are the studies that you said that have been
done on you to help prove or show some of
the capability that you have. What would we see if
we studied your brain, or what's being scanned, what's being
looked at.

Speaker 1 (08:05):
So the cool part for me is back in nineteen
ninety nine, HBO was doing a documentary called America on
the cover Life After Life, and it was produced by
Linda Ellerby and her production company, Lucky Duck Productions. And
I had not done a lot of television. I was
mostly a radio guy. I love radio because it was
like interactive and live. But then they said that doctor
Gary Schwartz was going to be part of this and

(08:26):
he was going to study this. He wanted to study us,
you know, Harvard Yale guy right, And I would sink, like,
how do I not do that? Like one, I have
a science mind, Like I like data, So I'm like,
how do I not do this? And then a colleague
of mine was invited. Her name is Susanne Northwrop, and
I was like, Susanna, are you doing this? And She's like,
how do we not do this? She's like and you know,

(08:47):
her joke was, how do we not sit in the seat?
You know, how do you not put yourself in the seat.
So it was myself and gaym in, Susanne Northrop, George Anderson,
and Lri Campbell. We were like five people that were
you know, laborats basically, and what they were doing is
they were looking at EEGs EKGs and they the first

(09:08):
testing that we did, which was on the documentary, they
put the woman that we read and they kind of
looked at the data that came through. And then in science,
when you do additional testing, as you know that they
have to replicate and extend data points. So we did
that and they introduced something called the silence sitter experiment.
And then the third time we did that, there was
another layer that they added in and then he compiled
all that data and it ruled out that body language, verbalignations,

(09:32):
like all of the things that the quote unquote cynics
would say we're doing, they were able to establish no,
we're not. And here's the data. That book was written.
It's called the air Flife Experiments. And I foolishly thought,
like when the studies came out and when the book
got published, I was like, Okay, we're going to take
this work to the next level now like people are
going to go like, okay, there's like science. Oh no,

(09:54):
they attacked the scientists. Now the scientist was crazy. And
it was that moment where I recognized it doesn't matter, right,
twenty percent of the population, you're going to believe. Twenty
percent of the population, I'm not going to believe. And
some people fall you know, somewhere within that range. So
that's why I came to the place of be skeptical,
question everything, so they're not taking advantage by people who

(10:14):
are claiming to do this and can't make sure you're
getting information and validation evidence that that person is talking
to your relative and they're not just giving you philosophy.
And I travel around the world, I do events constantly.
The first part of my events are always to establish
that because I want to protect people from like, you know,
anybody who walks in front of a crowd of people
and says, who here connects with a butterfly? Well, guess what,

(10:35):
somebody's going to connect with a butterfly? Right, Every afterlife
book has a butterfly on it because it's the quintessential transformation.
So I try to do the debunking of my own
field while raising the bar and kind of trying to
put out there what I think people should be looking for.
In my professional opinion.

Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah, I think that's the natural consent people have, is
that the human mind can project anything back onto itself.
So when you say butterfly, yeah, it's like every single
person and the room is thinking of that exact moment. It's
almost like saying, don't think of a pink elephant, and
then naturally the whole room is thinking about a pink elephant.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
Well, what I do is I stand in front of
the crowd and I'll say I'm going to disappoint all
of you right now, and they kind of get that
look of like what I'm like, here's what I'm not
talking about. And then I say, instead of me telling you,
I'm going to show you why, and I go, who
here connects with butterflies and that's your sign? And then
people raise their hand. And then I go through cardinals
and hummingbirds and dragonflies and finding pennies, dimes and quarters,

(11:30):
and then I go through feathers, and then I talk
about seeing eleven eleven and then other iteration of numbers.
By the time I'm done, ninety percent of the room
has raised their hand, and I'm like, all of that's
off the table. I'm not going to bring it up.
When we make connections today, we're going to go deeper
and you may have to think about something that's not
on your top ten list of what you want to hear.

(11:51):
But as long as it's the fact in a validation,
then it sudden you know that it's them coming through.
A lot of times, it's really trivial stuff. By the way,
conversations has just happened, things that you know they did
when nobody else was around. But it supports that there
is a survival of consciousness and that our loved ones
and friends are still part of what we're doing.

Speaker 2 (12:06):
I want to talk about sessions with you what they
look like, because I almost want to have a conversation
that helps people understand what the process looks like and
feels like. And I was talking to my producer, I
know how to call with you before we book this
and everything. So she was saying to me that when
you were on zoom with her, you asked her if
you could read her quickly or whatever the right language.
Is that accurate? And she said, you asked her a

(12:28):
question like who's Chris, And Chris happens to be her
ex boyfriend.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
Remember this, I did this.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
And and she'd spoken to him like she'd had an
interaction with him, like two days before that. She was
telling me okay, and it was just like, there is
nowhere that you could have reset that. Her page is
a private page on social media, so you couldn't find
it there. What are you experiencing? I want to know,
like almost how things revealed to you, because that feels.

(12:56):
When she was telling me that story, I was just like,
that's incredible, Like that's that's.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
You should come to an event then, yeah, that's that's
just the tip of the iceberg of like flayers of
like what comes through.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
But I was just thinking. I was like, there's no
way unless you were family friends of a distance and
you knew something. It's a it's a really hard thing
to pull off for somebody.

Speaker 1 (13:13):
That that's the good skeptical part, Like that's where I
want people to have, right, so I see here and
feel energy. My abilities are a clairvoyance, clear audience, and
clear sentient and what that is, Yeah, well that translates it.
They're like French words clare audience means clear hearing, Clairvoyance
means clear seeing, claire sentience means clear feeling. And this
is where I jokingly say, there's absolutely nothing clear about it.
You know, it should be like cloudy seating cloudy, hearing, cloudy,

(13:35):
cloudy feeling. And then in this kind of like downloaded vibe,
I'm basically telling you what it is that I'm seeing, hearing, feeling, And.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
So did you see the name Chris? Did you hear it?

Speaker 1 (13:46):
We heard it. I've probably heard it right where it's
like a download. So let me give you an example
of what that means. You know, when you're reading a
book where you're reading something, but your mind goes someplace
else and you're thinking about something else, and then you
have to go back and read read what it was.
That's what it's like. So it's not an out loud voice.
Nobody's yelling Chris. You know, it's like, I have two

(14:07):
thoughts that are happening. So maybe somebody's asking me a question,
and while she's asked me the question, it's like Chris,
I'm like, can I ask you? Like, who's Chris? And
in the case of a reading, it's just a lot
of that, and then I put myself on the zone
of receiving and my style of reading actually changed from
the University of Arizona Studies because the second time we
went out there, they said we're going to do something

(14:29):
called the silent sitter experience, and I'm like, okay, great,
what does that mean? And they said, you're going to
sit there, they're going to put the person behind you,
and for the first ten minutes of the reading, they're
not going to talk. And I about had collitis in
that moment, and I went, what do you mean they're
not going to talk? And they said, we want to
see if you can get information without the person having

(14:51):
to say anything to you. And I remember thinking, I
don't think I can do that, Like I think I
need them to validate like what's coming through So like
an athlete goes into training for a competition months leading
up to that. All my clients when they would come
to me, i'd be like, hey, listen, I have to
go through this like science testing. Can you not talk
for the first ten minutes? Can you try not to

(15:12):
say anything? And they would be like okay. And I
recognized that I was already doing it. I just didn't
know that I was doing it because I would stop
people from trying to say something because if they gave
me a bias, it might take me in the wrong direction.
I'm also like by habit, and I have to stop
myself from doing an interviews, like, while I'm talking to somebody,
I will drift over to a blank wall because what

(15:34):
I do is I focus on a blank wall to
see what I'm seeing in my mind's eye. So when
I did my TV show Crossing Over, I didn't design this,
but they came up to me and they showed me
the sets. And the original set of Crossing Over had
these big white sales all around the room, and I thought,
why did you guys put those there? And they because, oh,
we thought that it looked great, and you know, these

(15:54):
amorphous shapes, and I'm like, perfect, That's where I would focus.
So I didn't look at the clients. So that's how
information comes through. I see it, I hear it, and
I feel it.

Speaker 2 (16:04):
And do you believe that anyone can go from cloudy
to clear thinking, hearing and seeing or is that something
that you uniquely Obviously the medium mentioned to you at
fifteen that you had that could we all fine tune
ourselves to that level?

Speaker 1 (16:20):
Or is that I think we can all find tune
ourselves to our level? Right, And there are a lot
of people that you know, with the success of Crossing
Over and with the success of what I've done, I
have had a lot of people like come out psychic medium,
and I don't believe that they're all psychic medium. I
think that they might be ridiculously psychic and they would
probably be better numerologists, tower readers, astrologers. But because they saw

(16:44):
popularity with the word medium, they were like, oh, psychic medium,
but they're flipping cards psych psychic medium, but I'm doing astrology.
It's like, no, do what you do. And I come
out of a health care background, so for me, it's
like you have different specialties, right, So you have your doctors,
you have your general practitioners, and then you have surgeons.
So a medium is like a specialty of being a psychic.

(17:05):
I think every person that does whatever metaphysical practice that
they're doing is tapping it to their intuition, and it
gives them a framework, a boundary, something to work within.
So I think everybody can do that. My goal is
to get people to look at life through an energetic
lens and not to think that they need the medium. Right,
if you could raise your awareness to a point of
paying attention to your intuition, then when you're making decisions,

(17:27):
you're making decisions based upon not fear but you're making
decisions based on a feeling of this is good for
me or this is not good for me. And I
think if most people just sit and just sit with
what's happening around them, they're going to go, Wow, this
feels not good. Maybe this is not a good person

(17:48):
for me to be around. But then we talk ourselves
out of that. No, but I've known them forever and
they're you know, and our families knew each other and
blah blah. But meanwhile, you're the one who's keeping the
relationship going. That person's not doing anything for them. So
I think if people sit with what they're feeling and
they're true to what they're feeling, they can make better
informed decisions. So I would want people to look at
life through an energetic pair of classes.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, and then the next thing my producer said was
that you asked her if she had any experience with
suicide in her you know, friends and family or in
her life, and she's talked to me about it before.
She has had someone in her life who died by suicide.
And then you asked her if she had any artwork

(18:31):
to do with that person. And she actually has tattoos
on her body that are based on that relationship, and
I was like, you know that to me to do
that over a zoom call. I'm sharing all of this
because this happened in real time and you know it's
not at an event, and just for people to get
context of you doing this over someone that I know

(18:52):
on my team, and I was thinking, wow, like you know,
it's it's pretty amazing to be even to be able
to do it across zoom. How does that work?

Speaker 1 (19:02):
It's energy, right, So it's just energy. First, I have
to say thank you because I can't tell you how
many people I have been interviewed by, whether it be
radio or television, where stuff would happen and they would
never bring something like that up. So the fact that
you're doing that is just like, thank you.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
It's real. So I have to bring it up. It's
you know, if I'm talking to my team and we
always that's just it.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
You don't have to, oh right, okay, you don't have to.
And I can't tell you how many circumstances I've been
in where that validation never happened. So gratitude, thank you.
But it's energy, you know, It's just simply simply energy.
So there's somebody that I know that does healing work.
His name is Charlie Grolsmith. And one of the things
that I witnessed Charlie do was like, you know, a healing,

(19:44):
a group healing maybe over Facebook or whatever. And I
was talking to my kids and I'm like, you know,
it's kind of like interesting. I was like, I would
think that as a healer, you would have to like
be next to the persons like to heal them. And
I see my kids look at me like I'm like what,
and they're just like they'd like to kind of turn
the ahead of me, and they're like, do you need
to be next to the person in order to connect

(20:06):
with them? And I had that moment of like, oh,
that should have been my answer, right, but look at me.
I do what I do. And I still questioned, like
the process of something, why because I didn't understand it.
But once I put it in the frame of reference
of oh I get it now, I get it. Okay,
there it.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
Is, so before we dive into more about the process
that people actually come into and I wanted to share
those examples just because I felt that they were like
you said, but they were just so real to me.
Someone that I know someone who's producing the show who
isn't coming to you for a particular need, and for
them to still have that experience was pretty powerful. How

(20:44):
can people watch out for anyone who's misleading them, taking
their money, taking advantage of them. What are the things
to look out for?

Speaker 1 (20:52):
So I think that if you see somebody that is
saying stuff like you have a curse on you that
like you know, run, you know you pay me money,
I'm going to take off that that curse, pay me money,
onne like candles for you, like all all that kind
of stuff. That's red flag. Red flag. Another red flag
for me is when somebody who can't actually do a reading.
They may be intuitive in psychic, but they're calling themselves

(21:12):
a medium when they're not, and they then blame the
person in spirit for not coming through, Like they'll say
something like, your dad's not evolved enough in spirit, he
needs more prayers. No he doesn't. That person just couldn't
make the connection. So like, I will never blame my
lack of connection on the person who's passed. I'll just
say I'm sorry I can't make the connection, which means

(21:35):
it's a me thing. I was live on a Larry
King night, like you know, doing readings, and there was
somebody had called up and I got nothing, like absolutely
nothing on this one person. And I said, I'm so sorry,
I can't make the connection with you. And we go
to commercial and Larry looked at me and he's like,
he's like, I might believe you more now. I went,

(21:57):
you believe me more now because I couldn't do the reading.
He said, because you could have said anything. I go, no,
I couldn't. I said, I had nothing. So because I
had nothing, I could not say anything. So I think
we have to look at being careful that people are
not just giving philosophy. And that's what they went for me,
Like when someone pontificates in a reading, and I always

(22:18):
watch it when somebody will not kind of feel like
they're getting information, but then they get something right hypothetically
and then there's a story that's built around it. Right.
So if you know that the person's past, right, if
it's a mother, it's a dad, it's whatever. There's personality traits,
there's relationship dynamics that you may want to hear. Your

(22:41):
mom wants you to know that she loves you and
she's standing with you, and it's it's swirly and it's
flowery and it's ornate.

Speaker 2 (22:51):
And everyone wants to hear it.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
Yeah generally, Yeah, they definitely want to hear that. And
I'll say that, but I'm going to say it differently.
I'm going to be like justin you know that they're okay,
and they're coming through from a place of love. Now
I have symbols. If I see pink roses, I know
that they want me to express love. If I see
pink roses with thorns on it, I know that they
want me to express love. But they also want me
to say in life, they couldn't do it, can't hold

(23:15):
the flowers right their thorny. So I don't like when
people give philosophy as information. I don't like when people,
you know, go for the low hanging fruit. Who here
has the butterfly connection? Like all of those types of things.
I think you need to be careful about things like
that if they're asking you for any type of like
questions Like I was watching something online one day and

(23:36):
the person said, in order for me to make the
connection with you, I need you to tell me the
relationship of the person who's passed the name of the
person who's passed, the date that the person's passed, and
how they passed, and I got levitated out of my chair.
I was like, then, what are you doing? Right? So,
if I'm doing a radio show, if I'm doing a

(23:57):
call in, I might say to the person, Hey, how
can I help you? Do you have a question, and
they may say I'd like to try to connect my
dad that's it. And then I'm going to say, Okay,
I may not get your dad, but pay attention to
everything that's coming through. And then I feel like my
job is to interview who's coming through, who are you,
how did you pass? When did you pass? Any pertinent dates?

(24:17):
And then ultimately I'm looking for the why now right,
So at the intersection of you, me and the universe,
Why now? Why today? And what is that nugget that
I have to mind for that I'm going to help
them with. That's what I'm looking for in a session,
whether I'm in front of people or if I'm going
to want on one.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
How did you the first time you did this feel?
Because you're in that reading yourself at fifteen years old?
How did you even end up there in the first
place doing the reading that was done on you that
you had that you got the message.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
So my Italian side of the family, my grandmother and
my mom had psychics come to the house all the time.
My dad was a New York City police officer, not
a fan of the subject matter, made sure that I
was never around it growing up. My mom dad divorced,
moved into my grandmother's house paranormal hub of activity, and
for about three years when they would do stuff like that,

(25:07):
I used to make fun of the people, you know,
I would, you know, jokingly. I remember one guy, there's
a card reader that they had, and after like three
people came out, the third or fourth person came out
and I went, wait, let me guess you're going to Florida,
And the person went, yes, he said, I'm going to Florida.
How did you know that, I'm like, because you live
in New York. Like New Yorkers go to Florida and Aruba, Like,

(25:27):
why is nobody going to Kansas? Right? So the reality
was I was that person. So when I say, I
understand SAPs skepticism. But after I had that first reading,
I went to de bank Her and I went to
de bunk Her because my grandmother came out of the
room crying. She made my grandmother upset, and I was like,
what did this woman say to you? Very protective of
my grandmother, and she said no, she told me that

(25:49):
Tony was with me. And then I felt bad because
I'm like, Grandma, you were Tony was my grandfather Anthony?
I was like, you were introduced as missus esposito. It's
not a big stretch. It's going to be an Anthony
or a Tony in your family. No, And to my
grandmother's credit, she said, if you don't believe that your grandfather,
who loved me more than life itself, is still with me,

(26:11):
that's like a you problem, not a me problem. And
then she said how would she know this? And then
she proceeded to tell me things that apparently were true
that I did not know having to do with my grandfather.
So I didn't leave it there. Here's what I did.
I went to the list of people that were in
the room that this woman read before my grandmother to
see who could my name is Lydia Clara. Who could

(26:34):
Lydia have extrapolated that information from and then given it
to the oldest person in the room. None. There was
nobody that that woman read before so then my cousin went.
My cousin's thirteen years older than I am, but she
looked like she was the same age. And she came
out and she was like, oh my god. And I'm like,
come on, ro not you too, and she's like you

(26:54):
have to go, Like you have to go. She's like,
I'll pay for you to go. And I looked at
my mother like could I go? And she said you
can go, but you better treat her with respect. And
I said, oh, I'll treat her with respect. I'm just
not gonna help her like the rest of you. So
I went in armed with my like attitude, and she said,
can I have your high school ring? And I went sure,

(27:14):
I took off my ring, my handed to her, and
she went like this did not look at me, and
then proceeded to give me information that kind of sound
honestly sounded batshit crazy. I mean, she literally said to me,
you have highly evolved beings of white and gold light
that are ready to work with you, and I'm here
to put you on your path. And I remember, like
the way that she said it with such conviction. I'm like, oh,

(27:37):
so she's crazy, Like this is like this is crazy.
So I was like, okay, and then like part two
of the reading made sense, but yet it didn't but
it did make sense, so she was two for two.
And then the last part was where she just like
rocked my world, like flip me upside down, and I
was like whoa, Like there's no way that she would
know this. That set me on my path. And then
from like nineteen eighty five to nineteen eighty seven, reading

(28:00):
just what's happening now, what's coming up for a person?
I had no interest in dead people. In nineteen eighty seven,
my uncle died. That shifted my perspective. And I always
tell people that when you have a perspective shift, that's
where lessons come in if you're open. I was open,
and it was the first time I saw what grief
does to a family. And then, unfortunately, a year and

(28:20):
a half to two years later, my mom was diagnosed
with cancer and then my world was just rocked and
that was a catalyst for me. That was a huge catalyst,
and it changed everything because then then I was the client.

Speaker 2 (28:33):
Is that how you first used the process was for yourself?

Speaker 1 (28:37):
I think before that, so from like nineteen eighty seven
to nineteen eighty nine, when a client came in to
see me, I would apologize to them and say, hey,
I know you're here because you want to talk about
like relationships stuff and job stuff and like life. I
go put, I'm also a medium. I sa I'm going
to have to get that out of the way in
the beginning. Is that okay? And people look at me
and go like sure, And then I would do the
first part of the reading where whoever was going to

(28:58):
come through was going to come through, and then I
got into what I thought was the real part, you know,
their life, like why they were here and how I
can help them. And then I had this one woman
where her dad he was just loud, like you just
and it was going The session was like fifty sixty
percent over and there was no letting up. Papa was
not stopping. And then I looked at the woman. I

(29:19):
remember saying, I am so sorry I go, but I
can't get into other stuff. I said, your dad's like
legitimately like not stopping. And I say this often. It
was the way she touched my hand. She leaned over
and she touched my hand and said, it's okay, it's
my dad, And I like looked at her I was like,

(29:40):
so you're okay spending your entire session with me just
talking to your dad who's crossed, and she went yeah,
And that was like my first kind of like, oh,
I didn't think people really had an interest in that.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:53):
And then I learned why people had an interest in
that when my mom passed. So every reading I did
for somebody else, I was kind of doing for myself.
It was reinforcing, you know, reading strangers, I was like, okay,
well if their mom was with them, then my mom
was with me. And that's what really helped me with
my grief. People always say, like, you know what helped
you deal with your grief? I was like doing readings,

(30:13):
just seeing the constant reinforcement, the validation these people's reactions.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
At what point in their grief does someone have to
come to really be open to it? Because everyone's going
to miss someone they love. Most people are sad when
they lose someone that they were close to, especially a
my father or grandmother, you know, whoever, it may be
a best friend. At what point do they really need
what you have to offer. Is it because it's been
too long and they can't move on. Is it because

(31:00):
they really feel that because I'm just trying to understand,
like what I've lost people, but and this is just
who I am, So it's I've just I'm very at
peace with the closest people I've lost in my life,
and I feel like I still communicate with them, even
not in a not in your way or in any
direct way of listening. That I'm not a psycho medium

(31:20):
at all, or don't believe I have those abilities, but
I feel a connection to people in my own way,
So I'm at peace with that. So I guess I'm
trying to understand what drives someone and at what point
do they really do they value and need what you
have to offer.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
I think it depends upon the person. But if I
could just say, generally speaking, I don't think anybody needs
a reading, and I think that's kind of maybe shocking
to hear me say that when this is what I
do for a living. But I've been saying that since
I'm sixteen, Like, I don't think anybody needs a reading.
You know, if you need one, I think they need
an understanding. So I've always seen myself as being the

(31:57):
teacher or the educator, and a reading can support what
you believe or know right, and that's important. But I
think if we can get people to be fifty percent
of the equation. When someone passes and you are legit
still communicating with them, you're incorporating them in your lives.
Like I love the movie Coco for that purpose. Right,

(32:19):
It's like you're not forgetting the person, you're including them.
I include my family and friends that have crossed in
my daily lives, Like I keep their presence very much
with me because I talk about them. That doesn't mean
that I'm in channel with them. I'm not having conversations,
but I kind of am. Right, So, like, what really
is social media? Right? When you do social media, people

(32:42):
are posting their lives out there for the people that
follow them to see it. Your photos or your whatever
you're doing, you're putting that out there. So you may
not send it as a text to someone, but you're
putting it out there for those to watch. We're living
our lives and they're watching, so we're like the social
media for them. We're like the reality show for them. Actually,

(33:02):
but they may or may not like your photo, but
they may come through to you in a dream. They
may come through that song on the radio that scent
or smell that dragonfly, hummingbird, butterfly, penny, whatever those things are.
That is your pattern or real by the way, but
I don't think anybody needs a reading. They need an understanding.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
So let's say someone walks into your space and they say,
I've lost my dad, my mom, you know, some a parent.
How does that walk me through the process.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
Sure, So if I'm doing a one on one reading,
or if I'm standing in front of crowd of.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
People, let's do one on one.

Speaker 1 (33:36):
So in a one on one session, and even in
the crowd, nobody's saying anything to me, I'm gonna sit
with you. I'm going to tell you exactly what I'm seeing,
what i'm hearing, what i'm feeling. Sometimes if i'm in person,
I'm going to do psychometry where I'm going to ask
to hold on to an object of yours so I
could tune into you. Just think key unlocked your energy,
and I'll make sure that object is only yours and
yours alone, and that it's not related to anybody who's passed,
because I don't want to pick up their energy and

(33:58):
read the energy and not make the connection. And then
the first part of what I'm gonna do is I'm
gonna look for where you're at in your life right now,
and I may do that with numerology. I may like
look at your personal year and kind of see what
what the lesson is because that'll give me a frame
framework for you and then passes. So in numerology there's
a lot you can do, right, So every letter has

(34:21):
a correlation to a number, and there's certain things that
you can do numerologically. When I say you can do
an entire chart with numbers, your birth name, your birth date.
I have found for me, I like two things. I
like a personal's personal year, which is a yearly vibrational
pattern that goes from birthday to birthday, and your life path,
which is kind of like the number that you are, right,

(34:42):
So like I'm a life path nine, which means I'm
a life of service. So the life path. You would
take your birth date like the number and edit all across, right,
So you would take like if seven, do you want
to tell you what's what's your birthday?

Speaker 2 (34:57):
Nineteen eighty seven? Oh, but you're taking the full.

Speaker 1 (35:00):
You have to take the month us the date.

Speaker 2 (35:01):
Oh so my month is September, so zero nine.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
Right, so that's nine then zero.

Speaker 2 (35:05):
Six, that's fifteen, and then nineteen eighty seven is the
year I'm born.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
I think you were four if I did the math correctly,
but I have to. We're just adding them all up,
everything straight across it.

Speaker 2 (35:16):
So it's fifteen, sixteen, twenty five, thirty three, forty four yeah,
four so.

Speaker 1 (35:25):
You ad everything. Yeah, you keep getting all together for
your four four Yeah. So your life path is one
of always laying the foundation groundwork for the future, working hard, communication,
and progress like that's that's who you are no matter
where you go, whether you're a chef doing what you're
doing or a politician like, that's going to be your
life path For me, no matter what I did, I'm
going to be a live path nine. For me. Part

(35:46):
of a life path nine is learning your lessons through
letting go and loss. Perfect for my field, right because
what I do I work with people who are dealing
with loss.

Speaker 2 (35:55):
How many life parts are there?

Speaker 1 (35:56):
How may nine nine? There's basically nine and then you
can count a eleven, twenty two, and thirty three is
as master numbers?

Speaker 2 (36:02):
Would you tell me what the different ones do? So
if someone's a lifelot one, two three.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
A numerologist could do that better and can better? I mean,
I course three like I can give you like you know,
like you know, no ones are working on you know,
the independence and it's a life path of individualization. But
there's there's there's specific people that that's kind of like
their specialty.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
We'll get one of them on yeah.

Speaker 1 (36:23):
Yeah. But what I do like about a personal year
in a reading is it gives me like, Okay, where
are your lessons coming in? So if I know that
somebody is going into a life path I'm sorry, going
into a personally year, that's a five. That's a big
transformational year. Fives are about change, adaptation, and transformation. So
that lets me know, Like, so if I'm reading for
somebody and I see that, if I see the energy

(36:45):
of change, I now know time wise, it's probably gonna
be within this window. So I like that. So that'll
be the first part of the reading, and then the
rest is going to be like who's coming through?

Speaker 2 (36:55):
And then when you say who's coming through? Are you
like closing your eyes? Are you holding their hand? Are
you in the object? I just walk me through the
vision of that.

Speaker 1 (37:03):
The vision would be me on a headset over the phone,
probably doodling on a piece of paper and kind of
focusing on what I'm seeing and hearing and feeling. And
then I do treat it like an interview. So if
I feel an energy coming in, I would say, Okay,
this feels to me like an older figure. Why do
I do that? So I'll talk about people being above

(37:23):
you to the side, and below above you just means older,
below you just means younger. And then to your side
would be a contemporary husband, wife, brothers, sistant, cousin, friend.
So instead of going I feel a man's energy, I
try a place where I'm feeling it. Where do I
think they go? And then I want to know what
their relationship is, so I want to feel that. Then
I want to know any important dates that are connected,
any initials or names that are connected. When they give

(37:46):
me names, it's their way of telling me who they are,
who they're with, or somebody who's here. And then it's
just anchoring myself. And then I like to validate the validations,
so I like to give something else that supports that.
And the reason why I do that is it gives
me the opportunity to build up a trust with who's
coming through. For when they give me something that the
client doesn't understand. So then I know that I've now
created some type of control in the environment that any

(38:09):
variables that they don't understand I can trust.

Speaker 2 (38:12):
How do you stop yourself from predicting, projecting, or connecting
in a more logical rational sense that we all would do.

Speaker 1 (38:21):
I think there's a little bit in there. Okay, I
think there is a little bit in there where I
have to go like, Okay, I'm seeing this, this is
what it makes me feel like, right, and then I
give that to the person.

Speaker 2 (38:31):
Like when you're interpreting the rods and the thorns, is
that your interpretation?

Speaker 1 (38:36):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (38:37):
Is that something that they get to? Right?

Speaker 1 (38:38):
So if I teach somebody how to read taro, right,
there's seventy eight cards in a deck. Before I have
them read a book on it or even the little
pamphlet that comes, I want them to sit with that
deck and create their own notebook, card by card and
write down what they think that card means. Because when
they looked at it, against them the feeling. So they

(38:59):
have to pay attention to that before you learn what
the cards actually mean. So then you have like kind
of a duel self awareness.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
Does that require on their part too.

Speaker 1 (39:07):
A lot.

Speaker 2 (39:08):
Yeah, that's the challenge is.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
A lot and getting out of your way. And there
have been a lot of moments where like you get
information and the person says no, but the information doesn't
change because if you do have that person and that
person is coming through and the client says no, I'm
going to go with what they show me because what
I'm hearing from the person is no, that's not who

(39:30):
I want. No, I don't have to think about that.
But what they don't realize is that sometimes behind the
person that they don't want to hear from is the
person that they do want to hear from. And in
my style, I am a little bit like a dog
with a bone. I don't give it up because I
feel like my job is to make sure that I
say everything that I'm seeing, hearing, and feeling. Because sometimes
the biggest validations happens outside of the reading when they

(39:52):
go when they go home, when they talk to their
family and they find out, oh, yeah, we did have that,
but we didn't talk about it. Nobody talked about that.
It happens a lot.

Speaker 2 (40:01):
Do people often have people turn up in their readings
that they don't know, Oh, is it generally people that you.

Speaker 1 (40:08):
Know most of the time, it's gonna be.

Speaker 2 (40:10):
Right, Yeah, that would make sense. No, I was just
wondering most.

Speaker 1 (40:12):
Of the time. But there are moments where like there
are connections that come in and then the person won't
know about it until like they talk to somebody. Like
one of my favorite stories is I had a Saturday
afternoon reading. It was my last reading of the day.
Wonderful woman sat down and I'm bombarding her with information,
like it was very clear to me, and she's like, yeah,

(40:33):
I know how this works. She's like, so I'll go
in your waiting room and then whoever's out there that
this is for, we'll let them come in. And I
looked at her. I was like, there's nobody in my
waiting room and she's like, well, there has to be.
She's like, because none of this is my family. She's like, so,
you know, I get what you do. I'm open. This
is not for me. And I was like, it's kind

(40:54):
of got to be for you. I said, you're the
only one here and she's like, well, it's not like that.
And I said, can I see what you do for
a living? And she goes me. She's like, I'm a
grief therapist. I was like, okay, and that's all I said,
and she just went, oh my god, you just brought
through my last five clients. So she had five clients

(41:14):
that she saw that day. I brought through the people
that her clients were coming to see. And she looked
at me and said, what do I do with this?
She's like, because they're not coming to me for mediumship.
I was like, you are the psychiatrist or the psychologist.
I go, You're going to have to figure out how
to do that on your end. I said, but these
are the validations I came through. So she wound up
working I believe she wound up working that into a

(41:37):
you know, hey, I had this experience. Are you open
to the world of energy? Is this something that you
have ever considered? And it wasn't to get me clearly clients,
because there was no need now the information came through
in that way. So I like those moments because those
are validations that happen after the fact.

Speaker 2 (41:53):
Where do you believe these people who have passed on exist?
Because so does you know? I assume there's a spiritual
or religious version to what happens after death. And then
there's the material world version of what happens after death.
Like in my tradition, carma and reincarnation are really prominent

(42:13):
belief sets in the idea that people are taking birth
as could be animals could be, people could be you know, regenerating. Right,
And there's lots of Easterns.

Speaker 1 (42:24):
In my belief system as well. Right, maybe not so
much into the animals of it, but for the consciousness
to keep coming back here to the classroom of life.
And that probably is the thing that freaked me out
the most when my mom passed, because I was nineteen
and I'm like, if I live to be ninety years old,
when I cross over, I want to see her. I
don't want to get there and have somebody say to me, like,

(42:46):
you know, you missed her. She's in Jersey now, like
you know. That was like a concern for me.

Speaker 2 (42:50):
She doesn't look like that anymore reincarnation.

Speaker 1 (42:52):
She's not that energy. So I've talked to people who
do the reincarnation past life progression like therapy stuff, because
I was like, go to the specialist, get the information,
find the data. And the way they explained it to
me is that if the entirety of the consciousness is
not necessary to incarnate, then you could still make your
connection with the oversoul, the bigger super consciousness, even though

(43:13):
there might be multiple lifetimes that that person is still
working through. I'm like, I could work with that. That
made me feel that made me feel confident. But I'll
see her again.

Speaker 2 (43:22):
You were saying that there's a space between which that
person is reincarnated or not. Is where you're getting them.
And so if they've already fully reincarnated as a new being,
you can't.

Speaker 1 (43:32):
No, I'm saying that I don't think that. I don't
believe that we fully reincarnate in the entirety. So like
if we take this glass of water, the amount of water,
if this whole thing is consciousness, our soul, a portion
of this might have multiple incarnations different periods of time, simultaneously, oh, simultaneous,

(43:54):
simultaneously over decades around the globe, you know. And this
is where I say to people.

Speaker 2 (43:58):
Do you mean simultaneously like the multiverse, like having multiple
versions of the same person, or that that consciousness has
passed through multiple bodies over that yes, right.

Speaker 1 (44:07):
Okay, fine, the same that at different times.

Speaker 2 (44:10):
Right, So yeah, Eastern traditions would believe that the consciousness
is what remains the same, and that same consciousness passes
through from the body that looks like me today to
whichever body I end up in my next life, to
whichever body I had in my past life. But it's
the same consciousness that has lived in all those bodies, right,
has had multiple mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
And you've been in the same maybe family tapestry essentially
just in different different roles or connections. But going back
to the like where are they? I equate it to
the Internet. When people ask me that question, I go,
where's the Internet? And they get quiet and they go,
you can't go there with a physical body, but you
can access it, so you can access this dimension. So

(44:53):
it's like the Internet. It's it's it's a dimension that
you can access and you can connect with and you
can communicate within too and through.

Speaker 2 (45:00):
But often that you're saying that you're not interacting with
them in their new form. You're interacting them at the
consciousness struggle which has lived all of these forms, correct,
and you're just connecting them to the current person or right.
So experience of that.

Speaker 1 (45:14):
To give it as a different analogy, it's like if
you take a famous actor, you know that actor has
had so many movies, Yeah, in so many different roles,
but at the core they're the actor. Yeah, with different
character names and different Backstories's great analogy.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
I like that.

Speaker 1 (45:28):
That's how I look at it.

Speaker 2 (45:29):
Yeah, yeah, right, So you're connecting to Tom Cruise from
the first top Gun.

Speaker 1 (45:32):
That's exactly the analogy I was thinking in my head.

Speaker 2 (45:35):
Yeah, yeah, not Tom Cruise from the Rethon Cocktail, right, yeah,
or anything else. Yeah, that's interesting to hear. That's I've
never heard it explain that way. And yeah, Carma reincarnation
has been something that's always fascinated me, and Ian Stevenson's
book Old Souls was always a beautiful scientific exploration of it.

Speaker 1 (45:54):
I found doctor Brian Weiss when you look at many lives,
many masters, and all of his materials, he was very
influential for me, you know, at that point in my
life because I needed to know, like, you know, if
I cause I had a very early experience where I
was taking on a cruise as a kid and Puerto
Rico was the first stop and walking through Old San Juan,

(46:16):
I became kind of paralyzed in the middle of one
of the streets and the person I was with kept
walking my aunts and she came back and she looked
at me and she said, what's up. I went, I
was here before, but I wasn't John like at twelve.
I said that, so, you know, get that perplexed look
like you haven't left New York. What are he's talking about?

(46:36):
And I was like, no, there's something at the end
of this block with birds and nuns. And at the
end of the block there was like remnants of a
building that had a plaque that said, you know, a
miracle happened there, and it was next to something that
said park at the Palomas. A twelve year old was
like help, like like why do I know this? Like
what does that mean? And for three years I really
suppressed that until I had that reading. And then when
I had that reading, and that sent me down the

(46:57):
spiral of studying, somebody talked about reincarnation. You know, your
raised Catholic, reincarnation is not an option for you. If
your Catholic like that, that is not something that they
discussed in you know, religious CCD. But now here this
you know book I'm reading is talking about different philosophies
and reincarnation is one of them. And right next to
that was something called past life recall, and past life

(47:19):
recall would be where you had the exact experience that
I did, which was you're in a place that you
have never ever been before and you know it and
add in the phrase, but I wasn't. John just kind
of like was like, oh my god, wow, this I
had that. So I kind of feel like when people
do a deep dive into the world of energy or spirituality,

(47:41):
they'll have those same awakenings. The important part about it
is to keep the ego out of it, because the
ego gets in the way of your progress. You need
a little bit of it to kind of like go
like okay. But soon as soon as the ego self
and this world marry, the lessons stop, and I think
we have to continue to be I'm forty years in

(48:01):
this year. I'm still a student of the universe. I
still want to be better. I'm still evolving into like
who I'm supposed to be because I'm still here in
this body, which means I'm still learning.

Speaker 2 (48:11):
For someone who feels like the process feels spooky or
we've seen too many exorcist movies, or you know, whatever
it is, it's that I think the visual that you
have is from movies because you've never seen.

Speaker 1 (48:22):
It the stereotype in real life.

Speaker 2 (48:24):
And so you have this stereotype version of like God,
you length spirits back in and like they're coming to
visit you, and you know that how much of that
is real?

Speaker 1 (48:32):
True?

Speaker 2 (48:33):
How does that? How does that fit in the world.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
But I think we have two motivations in life, right,
fear or love. So if we're coming from the place
of love, then we understand that where there's love, there's connection.
It's fine. When we're coming from the place of fear,
that means that we're allowing some religious dogma to get
in the way. You know, when somebody wants to throw
the Bible out and start you know, quoting Bible based
Bible verses and all that kind of stuff, save it, Like,

(48:54):
I'm going to be like, I'm not going to do
that with you. There's a lot of stuff that's written
in the Good Book where it's just ridiculous and preposterous
and people argue over it and bad things happen as
a result. Right, So for me, it's energetic based. I
feel like I'm painting a portrait of energy, and how
somebody frames that portrait is their religious upbringing or not.

(49:15):
But I see this as being more scientific and energy based,
and that's not scary for me. That's educational. So I
feel like I lean into the education, I lean into
the empowerment. I lead into helping to enlighten people in
there on their path, like I'm wherever I'm meeting them,
If I'm meeting them here today for the first time,
I'm hoping that this is sparking something in them where
they're going like, oh I should I should meditate? Yes, yes,

(49:38):
you should meditate. Oh I should learn about you know,
my numerology. Yes, that has nothing to do with me.
That has to do with them, Like they multiple books
that people can go do. So I feel like part
of my job is to raise awareness and teach and
wherever I meet that person, helping them on their journey
of grief, that's my job.

Speaker 2 (49:56):
Yeah. I appreciate what you said at the start, which
was this idea of we usually come to this process
wanting to check if the person's okay, but it actually
becomes about the person who's checking to become healed and grow.
Talk to me about grief and where we almost miss
out on the growth or how we don't process as well.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
We can be here four hours on that one. Let's
start with let's say somebody who is diagnosed in their
terminal Right, many times families will not tell the person
that they're terminal because that would just be too hard
for them. The soul knows they're leaving, the consciousness knows
that's going to be passing. So now we're just going
to what wait a month, three months, six months until

(50:36):
that person leaves the physical world, and nothing gets said,
nothing gets talked about, nothing's communicated, and I think we
rob that person, that individual, as well as ourselves. The
opportunity is to say the things that maybe you want
to hear or need to hear, or need to say,
or they need to say. So I think, starting from

(50:57):
a place of where does grief really begin, it comes
in with the understanding that something's ending. Right, So you
can grieve the ending of high school. You can grieve
the ending of college, you can grieve the ending of
your job, there's no death in that. You can grieve
the ending of a relationship, the ending of a friendship.
So grief is grief in various different ways. But when

(51:19):
we're talking about not acknowledging that grief that's the problem.
So I think we have to start with acknowledging the
grief and then expressing it, not suppressing it. So say
the things that you need to say to the people
while they're here, and give them the opportunity to say
it back. Because so many people sit in front of
me with that look of did they know that I
love them? I don't know? Did you tell them?

Speaker 2 (51:38):
You know?

Speaker 1 (51:39):
Tell them say the things you know. Have those conversations.
If you know somebody's passing and they're not going to
be here in ten years, but you're getting you know,
you're going to get married in five years, ask them
what they want to know about your wedding. Have that conversation.
I think it's not morbid or morose or maudelin. I
think it's healthy about grief.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
Yeah, and it's almost have you ever had anyone almost
when you're reading where they go back and go, yeah,
you never told me how much you loved me? Like
can it get well?

Speaker 1 (52:08):
Yeah, oh oh my god, oh yeah, yes, very much so,
or the release of something like where they're they're hearing
something in the reading. I remember reading for someone she
was seventy years old and her stepdad came through and
the message was it's not your fault, like his passing
was not her fault. And she had had an argument

(52:30):
with him and went to high school and he took
his own life and she lived with that for fifty years,
sixty years, whoever, all she was feeling like it was
her responsibility. Her whole life she lived with that. So
you know, that's a that's an extreme example, but I
think there were a lot of people that just need

(52:51):
to have the reinforced understanding, right, So I want everybody
to do it now, like say the things now so
that if you you know, I have a thing with
my kids right when they were younger, I would say
to them, in case I get abducted by aliens. They
would laugh, but then that usually was followed up with
a really heavy conversation. So I couched it in a
way that they would participate in it. And you know,

(53:13):
I think my son was twelve. We were on a
walk and he goes, Daddy, I get the whole psychic thing.
He goes, but what age should you become obsessed with
alien abduction? And I was like I'm not. And he's like,
you kind of are, and I'm like, no, dude, I'm
really not, like, why are you saying that? He goes, well,
always say in case I get abducted by aliens. That's
so I laughed. I was like, well, I think you're
old enough to understand this. I go TuS. I go mean,

(53:34):
if I'm no longer existing on this dimension and I'm
now existing on a different dimension, I'd want you to
know the things that we talked about. He goes, do
you mean like in case you died? I went yes.
He says, well, that's not funny, I go, not meant
to be funny, meant to be a conversation starter. So
for your listeners, your viewers, use that phrase, watch the
people's reactions. They'll laugh. But then you you're ice breaking.

(53:56):
You're literally kind of setting up the opportunity to have
a converse that might be serious.

Speaker 2 (54:01):
Yeah. What I love that. I really love that. And
I think it's so important to be able to normalize
some of these conversations because it's so much harder to
change afterwards. And I think part of my piece is
because I've always lived in a way to say how
I feel in the moment and say what I believe
and make sure people know how love they are and

(54:21):
even if they didn't know how to reciprocate or respond
to it in the moment, I was always happy to
express how I felt because I just never wanted to
feel that way.

Speaker 1 (54:30):
You want to hear a really kind of kind of
cool but somewhat unique thing that happens by a bit.
So I could be reading for somebody and I could
bring mom and dad through, I could bring their husband through,
I could bring their grandmother through, I could bring their
friends through. The moment I bring in their pet, the
moment their dog comes up, their cat comes through, that's

(54:53):
the moment where they're going to lose it. They're going
to absolutely lose it, and sometimes in a really really
big way. And I'll, you know, I'll kind of make
a little like joke and be like, wow, look at that,
Like all your family right now is going the dog
rates more than I do. Right, But here's the thing,
what does that dog do to that person? Unconditional love?
That pet shows you unconditional love. It's a reciprocal energy.

(55:16):
You love it, it loves you. There's nothing that gets
in the way of that. So I use it as
a teaching tool when it happens, and say, listen, look
at what took place. It's about connection, It's about communication.
So I always want people to say the things. You know,
if you're leaving the house, I don't care you're in
a rush. Let the people that you're leaving know how
you feel about them. Just what if you don't come home?

Speaker 2 (55:36):
Yeah? What about when people have had really poor experiences
with people and so they're coming to you because there's trauma.
There may have been emotional or other types of abuse.
There may have been people have just had painful experiences
with this person. But they love them too. It's messy, right, Like,
that's that's what love is. It's not oh I love them,

(55:57):
I missed them. It could be complicated, and I imagine
if they come there's some layers to their love that
need to be explored. How do you help them and
guide them through this already difficult process, but with the
emotions that could come back of like yeah, you didn't
tell me you loved me, I treated you that way
because of X or whatever it may be, Like, how

(56:18):
does that work? What does that look like?

Speaker 1 (56:20):
So one again, for people who are listening, I want
to establish that everything that comes through is going to
come through in pieces and it's not conversational. It'll come
across in pieces and I will symbolically interpret what that is.
That's number one. Once I go down that path of
helping them to understand and establish what's coming through, and
I know it's being validated by the way I validate stuff.

(56:41):
It is not always easy when you are hearing from
someone who's crossed that wasn't that exact relationship dynamic. But
oftentimes the person that's coming through is coming through to
assuage that feeling of guilt or disappointment or anger to
help them. The hard part about that is that as
the medium, you kind of feel like you now represent

(57:01):
that person, so you could feel that coming back at you.
So I'm not a therapist, and I will say, I
don't know if you work with a therapist, but maybe
you may want to have a conversation with someone that
can help you move through this.

Speaker 2 (57:13):
Right, So you actually encourage them to meet experts in
particular things.

Speaker 1 (57:17):
Oh god, yeah, I think a lot of a lot
of I mean, I've had I've had moments where I
sit with someone for about five minutes and I'm very
clear and I go, do you trust me? And they go,
of course, I trust you. That's why I'm here. And
I'm like, I'm I'm I'm supposed to get you someplace else.
What you're looking for is not me, And they're like,
what do you mean. I'm like, you need to work

(57:39):
with an astrologer where you're at, I can't help you.
I could read you, but it's not going to help you.
And I think it's going to be a waste of
your time and money. So how about we save your
money and let's just have a chat. And I'll usually
spend the time with them anyway, And then I find
the astrologer that I think that they're supposed to work with,
and I always trust that.

Speaker 2 (57:59):
What do you think grief teach us about love?

Speaker 1 (58:01):
Grief is the other side of love. And if I
used to work in the hospital and when people would
have open heart surgery, they're given, you know, the heart
pillow that you're supposed to hold on to so if
you cough or sneeze that you don't affect your scores
and the surgery. And I always imagine that heart pillow.
One says love and the other side says grief. And

(58:23):
I think throughout our lives we're holding the love side
close but when we lose a person, it flips to grief,
and I think honoring our grief, honoring our feelings, not
ignoring them, gets us back to the other side of
that pillow, which is the other side of grief, and
that's love. So I think grief teaches us about love
and appreciation and communication, and that's the goal.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
What do you say to someone who just feels like
they'll never experience joy again.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
I like to validate their feelings and say that you
won't feel the kind of joy that you had before,
but you can find joy in different ways and take
them on that journey with them, so it's not just
the absence physically, but that you still have the connection
with them. I can never remember which I never remember
what it's called, but there's Japanese art where when things

(59:29):
get broken, yes, and they put it back together and
it's got the golden glue. It actually highlights the cracks.
I feel like grief is highlighting the cracks. We put
ourselves back together because we have to, but we're never
seen the same way again. How could you you know?
My son's middle name is after two boys that have passed,

(59:49):
both named Michael, and one of the one of the Boys,
The Boy's Man. He was a firefighter in nine to eleven,
Michael Kiefer and his when I've read for her, she's
a powerhouse of a lady, powerhouse of a mom. And
she told me a story once and she said, somebody

(01:00:10):
asked her how you doing, and she said, well, there
was the me before nine to eleven and there's the
me after nine eleven. No greater phrase can be said,
because we all have that. There's the U before the
event and there's the U after the event. And I
think when you recognize that there's a different version of
you now and again, that's in every way that you
can grieve. By the way, it's not just death right.

(01:00:31):
If you've gone through a divorce, there's the you before
the divorce, there's you after the divorce. If you broke
up with a long term friendship, there's the you before that.
Do you after that? How how do you navigate life
in this new way? Trying to be the old you
can't doesn't work.

Speaker 2 (01:00:46):
Yeah, that validation piece is so important huge. Even hearing
you just say to someone that, yeah, you won't feel
the joy you felt before. In one sense, it's so
freeing because we're trying so hard to feel that joy
again and knowing that you won't is liberating because it

(01:01:07):
stops you from chasing and pursuing something that isn't going
to happen again.

Speaker 1 (01:01:11):
But it also could be a free fall.

Speaker 2 (01:01:12):
Tell me about that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
So when my mom passed the morning that she passed,
I had to go long story, but pick up a
tuxedo to be in a family wedding that I promised
I would I would do in case she did pass
And she'd passed right for the wedding. So that morning
I was like sitting in my car and I looked
up at the window of the room that she had
just passed in maybe three hours earlier, and my first

(01:01:34):
thought was, nobody's ever going to care what time I
come home again. I had no boundaries, and I was like,
that's a scary feeling. There was nobody to tell me no,
there was nobody to stop me. There was nobody that
was going to be like you shouldn't do that, because
nobody would probably dare at that time. It's a scary feeling.

(01:01:55):
So in life, when you find yourself in a place
of questioning something like I did right, and you could
be thirty six doing that, you have a feeling that
could be like free falling, and that's a scary place.
You know, you don't know if there's a net, You
don't know if somebody's going to catch you. And then
with that grief, maybe you stop talking to people and

(01:02:17):
you shut down, or maybe you start drinking, or maybe
somebody puts on forty seven pounds, whatever the thing is,
So it could be a It could be a scary
thing to recognize that life's never going to be the same.
Joy is not going to be there, So how do
you work through that? You know, having a reading not
going to fix you. Having an understanding about readings can
do can help give you an understanding of putting one

(01:02:40):
foot in front of the other knowing that there's a
survival of consciousness and that they're still they're still with us.

Speaker 2 (01:02:45):
Yeah, we've all heard the cliche time heals or wounds,
But sometimes it feels like things get harder as you
get further away from them.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
Yeah, because sometimes it feels like it was a different lifetime.
Sometimes it feels like like like it's a it's a book.
Like I had so many amazing experiences with my mom
after she passed, and I shared them, and you know,
there's like a whole purple colde story I put in
my first book and one of the things that I
remember One day was probably like maybe seven or eight years

(01:03:18):
after she died, and I was telling the story, and
I got very good at explaining the details of the story.
I knew the beats of the story. I knew how
people are going to react to the story. And then
the story was over and I remember not feeling it
and I was like, oh, oh, that's not good. I'm like,
this is like a really personal, powerful moment for me,

(01:03:39):
and I think I'm not going to share that for
a while. And I stopped telling it, and I remember
being at events and people were like, oh my god,
can you tell your mom's purple code story? And I'd
be like, you know, I actually I can't write now,
I said a boundary because I wasn't feeling it anymore.
It almost became like flat. It was too powerful of

(01:04:00):
a story for me, and I needed to own it again.
So I think sometimes when you're grieving, we go to
places that become superficial, and I think that we have
to make sure that we never lose the depth of
what that emotion is and that depth of what the
person is. And for anybody that's watching this journalize, write

(01:04:23):
down your feelings. Don't forget what it is that you're feeling,
because you want to make sure that you're you're honoring yourself,
but you're also honoring them, because sometimes we go through
these moments of like I'm gonna forget this, I'm gonna
forget their voice, I'm going to forget that this happened.
I'm gonna forget write it down.

Speaker 2 (01:04:39):
Yeah, my wife was extremely close to our grandmother who
passed away a couple of weeks ago. Oh sorry, and
she was ninety one I think when she passed away,
and she had a beautiful send off and really special
and peaceful, and it's amazing. My wife was by her
bedside for four months in hospital and home herever. And

(01:04:59):
my wife the force probably like maybe now like six
seven years ago to interview her grandma, and so sheared
all this video of asking her questions and stories, and
so when she was preparing her speech for the funeral,
which was such an emotional thing for her to do,
it was filled with all these stories that she had
from this video that they would never have known. And yeah,

(01:05:23):
I feel like there's such a need to interview your
parents and interview your families before they're not here anymore.
I love that because there's so many stories your parents
haven't told you, even though you think you know them.
And I did that interview my mom maybe a few
years back now, maybe five six years ago, just at
the dinner table. We didn't record it. I wanted to

(01:05:44):
record it, but I learned so much about my mom
that would never have known and it brings you so
much closer. And so whether you're an interviewer or not,
it's a beautiful thing to do while someone's still here.

Speaker 1 (01:05:56):
Shared connection, Yeah, to share a connection. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:05:59):
What do you do when you meet someone who tells
you they're stuck in their grief and it's just stuck
with processing. I'm sure you hear that a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:06:07):
So when I hear someone stuck, I usually try to
get them to go work with it if they're not
working with a counselor on some level. And sometimes they'll
tell me, oh, I did that didn't work, and I
will remind them that there's multiple counselors. It might not
have worked with one. Maybe find someone that you do
click with, but I will look at trying to get
them to have their astrological chart done. Here's why. If

(01:06:27):
they look at their chart when that person passed, it's
like snapshot of like what was the syllabus you were
spiritually supposed to be learning. And I like people to
look at that because then it gives it gives a
meaning and a context to the pain. It's like diagnosing
an energetic thing. I like that. I like people to

(01:06:49):
do that. And this is where, like, you know, people
are like he's talking about neurologists, he's talking about an astrologer,
he's talking about I do that a lot. I feel
like as a as a practitioner, for me, it's going
to be like how do I best serve this client?

Speaker 2 (01:07:01):
No, absolutely, I mean I coach people and I'm constantly
introducing them to sleep experts and therapists, right.

Speaker 1 (01:07:08):
And you probably know a lot about all of the
things that you're sending them to, but it's not what
you do.

Speaker 2 (01:07:17):
It's not my expertise and I may not be correct.
It's specifically trained in it, and so it's better that
someone else can come in and step in. And I
think people need groups of people around them to heal,
not one person and again going back to the ego point,
I don't believe I have any power to heal anyone
or be the person who solves all their problems, and
often I found a collective is healthier for that person

(01:07:39):
as well.

Speaker 1 (01:07:39):
Agreed.

Speaker 2 (01:07:40):
I was going to ask you, though, can you talk
to us about the difference with real astrology and then
your horoscope that the version that has become astrology today,
because I think the challenges and I asked that question
because astrology again is a big part of Eastern traditions
and I have not only heard of, but seeing incredible

(01:08:00):
things happen through astrology from true astrologers who are not
doing you know, your daily.

Speaker 1 (01:08:06):
Horoscope right now, the pop astrology.

Speaker 2 (01:08:08):
Yeah, not the pop astrology. Again, just what's the difference,
because I think when people say go and see an astrology,
it's like, I don't think we even know what that
means today.

Speaker 1 (01:08:17):
So by my definition, it's somebody who's dedicated their lives
to understanding and they still are on their journey of
you know, deep dive learning, delving into the past to
understand the present and maybe what the future looks like.
It means having your natal chart looked at, which you
would need your birthday, the time and location that you
were born, and then if you don't have that time,

(01:08:40):
they can do something called rectification where you give them
events in your life and then they kind of like
retrofit where they think your planets are and then they
will kind of look at your life and kind of
tell you who you are.

Speaker 2 (01:08:52):
Now.

Speaker 1 (01:08:52):
The control freaking me when I have a client that
I'm going to send to an astrologer. So I have
a platform called Evolved Plus right onovolf Plus. I have
various creators that I've worked with that I send my
clients to. Certain clients need certain people with their expertise
and what they do, so I usually give them a directive.

(01:09:12):
So I look at astrology like an MRI. You don't
MRI your entire body most of the time. I mean
you can't know, but you normally you would just you're
going for a specific reason. So I would say, okay, well,
if you're in Ares, then you're going to have Saturn
in your chart. Maybe go see how Saturn's going to
play out for you. So now there's an intro into
your chart. But in that specific example, I would say, hey,

(01:09:34):
I lost my person on December thirteenth, twenty twenty two.
What is the lesson?

Speaker 2 (01:09:42):
You know?

Speaker 1 (01:09:42):
I had a reading with John Edward and he said
that I should look at like what's the lesson I'm
supposed to be learning from that. I think the more
information we get regarding the lessons we're here to learn
can help us to move through whatever the stagnant, stuck
part of it is.

Speaker 2 (01:09:57):
Yeah, that's a better question too, as opposed to what's
going on in my life right now? Yes, which is
a bit more broad and open, right, and kind of
could be like, yeah, well, right now, this planet is
making this happen, and this it's more like a weather forecast, right,
rather than being specific and like what lesson am I
going to learn right now? What it's needed of me
right now?

Speaker 1 (01:10:16):
I'm also not a fan of the word predictions, right,
so like when I'm doing a session or if I
see somebody as a practitioner and they kind of predict stuff,
I'm more of a projector. I like to say, these
are projections from where you are. If you don't like
some of this, try to make the changes now so
you can adapt that, right, No different than health, Like,
right now your test results are showing this your lab
results are showing this. If you don't change this, these

(01:10:37):
numbers are going to go up. That can cause this
tell my brain works. I used to work in the laboratory,
so it's like when I'm doing reading, I'm seeing the
energy projections and I'm like, hey, this is the line
of probability that you're flying on. You know, you may
want to shift this, or hey this is awesome. You know,
guess up, keep going.

Speaker 2 (01:10:53):
Yeah. I think that's the language switch that's needed in
some of these traditions too. It's because when you think
about the commissions you have with your doctors, there's a
lot of diagnosing going on. They're the ones you could
read the scan you can't write, Like if if I
swor scan in my spine, I wouldn't know the difference
because I'm not trained, But I trust the doctor knows
how to do that.

Speaker 1 (01:11:13):
Correct hopefully yeah, hopefully, hopefully Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:11:16):
How do we How do you honor your grief without
letting it define you?

Speaker 1 (01:11:21):
Living with it like I feel like owning it, living
with it, saying the person's name, making sure that you're
you're including them, journalizing. Sometimes people feel like nobody wants
to hear me talk about my person anymore. You know,
I'm too I'm too much. It's too much, it's overwhelming.
They don't want they're tired of me always bringing him
up or her up. Living with that, acknowledging it, writing

(01:11:46):
about it, journalizing about it, and making sure that they're
not forgotten, because that means that you're not forgetting your
connection to them. And then I'll make it about living
grief as well. Let's say you had a relation to
somebody a thirty year friendship and or as a sibling,
and all of a sudden you have a falling out
with that person and now there's no contact. That's a

(01:12:06):
painful moment for you. So I ask people to mine
for the positivity in that because half of that relationship
is positive. It doesn't mean that you'll ever Like I
have people that are out of my life, they will
not have access to me again. They've that's not happening.
But when I reflect back on my time with them,
it's not negative. Like I know that negative things might

(01:12:28):
have brought us to where we're not connected now, but
I'm not going to take away my past. Yeah, I
had a great time with you. I had a great
time for the time that we were spending spending together.
So I'm not going to be spending negative energy mourning
the negative side of it. I get the negative side.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna reminisce about the positive stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:12:46):
Yeah. I have a friend who sadly lost, who tragically
lost their child, are like two weeks old, and they
named it and you know, and that's been a really
big part of their grieving is being able to say
the name, you know, not forget not.

Speaker 1 (01:13:00):
If anybody's listening to this, yeah, or for who is
listening to this. If you have somebody that you know
that's lost a child, please say their name. You're not
going to offend the parent. They want to. They want
that child to matter. It doesn't matter if that child
was two days old, we're twenty two years old, we're
forty years old. They want their child to be remembered.

(01:13:22):
So you're not going to make them sad by saying
their name. You're gonna make them feel connected and that
you're honoring that person.

Speaker 2 (01:13:29):
Well said, how can someone find peace if they were
not with their loved one in their final moments.

Speaker 1 (01:13:36):
So COVID taught us that right. COVID happens, and people
can't be with their loved ones and friends when they're passing.
So what I want everybody to know is that nobody
dies alone. When we leave the physical world, nobody passes alone.
And you might say that's not true because nobody was there.
I mean that people come for us. We have loved
ones and friends that are waiting for us that are there.

(01:13:58):
And if you're at someone deathbed, they may do things
where they're having deathbed visions, they may call out to
a person. You may sense that yourselves. There's always people
that come for us. So if you were not able
to be with the person when they transition, please know
that they were not alone. There's always people, sometimes pats
that come for us. So nobody passes alone. And you

(01:14:21):
could set up a schedule to make sure that Grandma
is not alone and that everybody's going to be with us.
She'll never be alone. That one moment where Grandma was
alone may be where Grandma transitions. And the reason why
is people choose who they want to be with when
they pass, and if it's too painful to leave while
that person's there, they'll wait till that person's not. So

(01:14:41):
if you were not able to be there. Please don't
take offense to that. Don't think that you fail them.
They may not have been able to pass with you in.

Speaker 2 (01:14:47):
The room because they loved you too much.

Speaker 1 (01:14:48):
Because they loved you too much. We can't we can't
hold them back. Our grief can't hold them back once
they left the physical world. I think we can hold
them back while they're here, though, because if we have
that energy, please don't go, Please don't go, Please don't go,
They may not go.

Speaker 2 (01:15:01):
That's I mean, yeah, that's so reassuring for so many
people who are trying to time that moment perfectly.

Speaker 1 (01:15:07):
And that's why if you say to somebody it's okay,
they may transition right after that, because you've given them permission,
You've released them as best as you can.

Speaker 2 (01:15:17):
Yeah. Well, that's the push and pull, isn't it. When
you love someone, you don't want them to leave, and
at the same time, you don't want them to be
in pain, correct, And so until you're willing to let
go and recognize that that's better for them, there is
some energetic force that makes them hold on and stay
on as well.

Speaker 1 (01:15:36):
So I have a phrase that I use with my kids,
But I think it's applicable when it comes to grief
as well. I have an aunt that said, you know,
she's like, I know you're really close with your kids.
She's like, but you get the end of growing up,
You're going to have to let them go. And I said,
I'll never let them go. I said, I'll never let
them go, but I will let them grow. And I
feel that when it comes to grief, we may have

(01:15:56):
to let them go physically, but let us grow together
until we are able to connect again.

Speaker 2 (01:16:02):
That's beautiful. And I feel like when people leave there
with the way I felt that with my my wife's
grandmother passing, it was so peaceful, and she left so
much peace because she was this radiant, vibrant, you know,
deeply conscious powerhouse of a woman. She left like this,
you know, really peaceful, sweet, celebratory energy, which was hard

(01:16:26):
because it wasn't you know.

Speaker 1 (01:16:27):
And a legacy of love for the family to kind
of stay connected, right as a result, she gave the language,
she gave the energy, she set to structure. And my grandmother,
I'm feeling from you like my own grandmother. You know
the level of any of my cousins watching this right
now or listening right now, they're they're immediately thinking about
my grandmother in the same way because she inspired family,

(01:16:49):
She inspired connection and love. Yeah, yeah, which comes through
guilt but still worked.

Speaker 2 (01:16:56):
Yeah, exactly exactly. How can people connect with people they've
lost in their life on a daily basis? You mentioned
earlier that you do that. I was talking about how
I do that. How do you suggest people do that
and keep that person alive in their life? And is
that healthy?

Speaker 1 (01:17:13):
I think it's healthy. I think it's important. I think
telling stories to people that never knew them. Like I
never knew my grandfather. I never met him. My grandfather
died before I was born. My mom did an amazing
job at making him a three dimensional figure for me,
from explaining what he looked like, how he was emotionally

(01:17:35):
positive and negative by the way, like she just made
him a real person that I kind of felt like
I knew him. So it would be like if you
go see a movie and I'm not going to get
a chance to see the movie, and you now tell
me all about the movie. Yeah, you gave me the plot,
you gave me the characters, the cinematic of it, all
of it. I feel like I've seen the movie now
because you did such a good job describing it. Well,

(01:17:57):
I'm happy she did that because she gave me language,
and that language is what I had to use with
my kids for her. And I will have conversations with
my kids legitimately where I'll be like, make sure you
tell my grandkids this, and my daughter will be like,
you tell your grandkids meaning like you ain't going anywhere,
But the reality is what if I'm not here? That

(01:18:18):
is a reality. I may not be here when they
have kids. So I'm having that conversation with them. Make
sure you tell my grandkids this, make sure that they
know about this. So I think having the conversation is important,
communicating with people that you know will never know them
or meet them, so that you're keeping this three dimensional
archetype of a personality present because really what it's do

(01:18:40):
is keeping a bridge between you and them and doing that.
On my Instagram, I think it was April. I was
feeling my mom. I was just thinking about her, and
you know, she's been gone thirty years and I was like,
I'm going to post a photo and I posted it.
It had nothing to do with birthdays anniversaries. A moment
I was feeling my mom. I posted a photo of

(01:19:02):
my mom. It was me honoring her. So you know,
I have this like image in my mom image in
my head of my mom being in the afterlife going Look.
My son posted a photo of me on earth Agram. Look,
let's go look, you know, but it's where I'm honoring.
I'm keeping that person. Food. Food is another way that
you can honor someone. So with my grandmother, we talked

(01:19:23):
about you know your wife's grandmother. And with my grandmother,
I lived with her. She had arthritis, so she used
to cook every Sunday for a lot of people. So
she'd be like, come help me. So I cooked with her.
I didn't know at the time how important that was.
Like that I had like my grandma's recipes that I

(01:19:45):
could if I wanted to make at Christmas time STRUEFULO.
I can make struthful of for the family. Not that
I do, but but I could if I wanted to write.
So there's a tradition that gets passed down. So what
are the legacies. What are the traditions? Food, like music,
all of those things are ways to keep them present
and allow them to still be part of our lives.

Speaker 2 (01:20:07):
Yeah, those are beautiful. I love those really helpful for
people who are going through it right now, what's your
take on keeping things that they owned and physical items?

Speaker 1 (01:20:16):
Again, I think that depends upon the person. My thing
is they don't care. Nobody ever comes through going you
gave away my car, you know, you threw out my
clothes like, they don't care. The value for them is
love and connection, not articles, not things. They don't come
through when people are fighting over the house. They don't
talk about stuff like that. They don't take sides because
in the physical world material things matter, that doesn't matter.

(01:20:41):
They're the true true value of the world, energy, universe
is love and connection, communication. That's what they value. That's
what they come through you know, mostly about. But I
think for some people they're in positions where they can't
keep a house. Right. So if someone can't keep a
house and they know that they're let's say their spouse

(01:21:03):
love the house, They lived and breathed for the house,
for the garden, They put their entire life into that,
and now they have to sell the house because they
can't afford it. That's devastating on top of the loss.
So I've had so many readings where people come through
saying it's Okay, you can sell the house. You're not
losing me. But that's great to be released of that.
But that person still is losing their house. So now

(01:21:24):
they're going to grieve the loss of the relationship and
they're going to grieve the loss of the house. So
what's the solution. And an example like that, I say,
hire a real estate attorney, a real estate photographer to
come in and film your house in that three dimensional
thing so you can always have a walkthrough of the
house that you remember because you don't have to be
in the house in order to feel the house. You

(01:21:44):
could legitimately walk through that house anytime you want. So
you find ways to navigate and kind of experience your grief,
but to work with it and through it.

Speaker 2 (01:21:53):
Yeah. So a question that I have, John is I
feel like for a lot of people, they can become
a sort of dependency on a lot of this work,
and it can start to become somewhat of a crutch. Obviously,
we all need time to process, we need time, but
it can become something that you just fall back on
all the time. How do you help someone move on
or move through that, because it can kind of feel

(01:22:17):
self fulfilling to just sit in this space, try and
get affirmation and validation, but not really do the work
and apply and move forward.

Speaker 1 (01:22:28):
So I think it's a really powerful question, and I
think it's really important that people don't look at this
work as a crutch. It should be something that is
an asset to their way of life, in the way
of their thinking. So we should never externalize our feelings,
whether it be love or grief. We should be internalizing

(01:22:48):
those moments. And I think I was very kind of like,
you know, lucky because I was popular, like from the
beginning of my career, so it was hard to get
back in to see me, so I could keep a
buffer between people. But before that kind of like happened,
I would say to people when they would say, you know,
why can I come back and see you again, I'd

(01:23:09):
be like a year, nine months, like take some time,
and they'd be like that's a long time. I'm like, well, yeah.
But when I used to work at a psychic fair
when I first started, the same people would show up
like every like two or three weeks and they had
the same questions, And I remember saying to this one moment,
I'm like, can we let some like life happen? Here.
I was like, cause I feel like I should be

(01:23:31):
coming over for dinner now, like I feel like we're friends,
and I don't really feel this as professional. And then
I had another client that I jokingly fired her and
I just was like, I cannot read you anymore. And
she was like, why I go because he is never
leaving his wife for you. I was like, I'm not
the right person for you. I'm not going to tell
you what you want to hear. So I think it's

(01:23:53):
important to set boundaries. So I set boundaries with clients
all the time, like I'll just be like, you know,
you can't come back and see me. If I'm doing
a zoom group and I recognize somebody, I will literally
say to them I can't read you. You know, I've
just seen you. I remember you like I don't want
to remember you.

Speaker 2 (01:24:08):
So, yeah, your new book kind of took you to
different lengths, almost outside of your outside of your comfort zone. Yes,
it's a really uncomfortable spaces beyond what you'd usually do. Yes,
talk to me about how Chasing Evil even came about.

Speaker 1 (01:24:25):
So Chasing Evil is the thirty year culmination of me
assisting an FBI agent now retired on his casework, and he,
like multiple other people, did not believe in the subject matter,
except he took it to another level. He heard me
on radio. I do a lot of radio live collumns.

(01:24:47):
He heard me multiple times, and he thought I was
a fraud, a grifter, and a con as he puts it.
And he came to me under the guise of a
real cold case that he was working, and he wanted
my assistance. He brought nine items, five of which were
pretending to the case, four of which were control items
that had nothing to do with the case, and in

(01:25:08):
the beginning of my meeting with him, I separated the
four things that did not belong to the case. Got
his attention. He had arranged for the woman that was
missing her daughter to be on standby because he heard
me make connections with people on the radio, so he thought,
you know, put me on the phone with the woman.
The woman comes through, I solve the case. That didn't happen,

(01:25:29):
but I wound up reading for him and gave him
information that was applicable to his life, and then information
that when he went home he had to get validated
from his parents things that he did not know, so
his world got a little bit rocked, right, He got
the reality of what a reading looks like, the validation,
and said, can you use your ability to help me?
And there was a sense of duty that I kind
of had. Now. The ironic part is my dad was

(01:25:51):
a New York City police officer and told me, don't
sully my name with this BS that you're doing, and
never let me find out that you're like working with
the police, Like, just don't do that. And I didn't.
And by the way, I really didn't have an interest
in it, and with great respect with this book in
this process, I still don't have an interest in it.

(01:26:12):
It's not where my passion lies. My passion is not
into crime solving. My passion is to help everyday people.
In the same way that when I did, you know,
crossing over in TV shows, I hated when they brought
celebrities on because I didn't want to read celebrities. That's
not my thing. Chasing Evil was different. I got pulled
in with Bob and it took me on a journey
that I wasn't expecting. It forced me to review that

(01:26:37):
although I had thought I did the work where my
dad was concerned, apparently I didn't. And I might have
been seeking some patriarchal approval by helping him, and we
had some great success working together, and there's multiple cases,
there's a lot of sadness, and I felt again the

(01:27:00):
word was duty to try to help this man on
his path. I say openly, I didn't solve anything. I
did for him what I do for my clients. I
gave him information. He used that information and he solves
his cases.

Speaker 2 (01:27:14):
And what book would you recommend to my audience who
wants to learn about your work from a foundational level
then to really dive into it.

Speaker 1 (01:27:22):
I have a book called The Infinite Quest and that
book is on a platform that I created called Evolved
plus TV. That's probably where I would send people because
evolve plus TV is a one stop destination where you're
going to hit all the things that we talked about.
You know, we have somebody that does past life aggression
therapy on there. We have numerologists on there, we have
astrologers on there, and they're all people that I work with,

(01:27:43):
like I've worked with them send clients too, So I
kind of brought them together in like one spot, and
on evolve plus, people have the opportunity to set up
a profile. We do a ton of live streams, so
there's multiple opportunities to interact, evolve, learn and grow. But
the book Infinite Quest is on my channel under books,
and then I have an eight part development workshop workshops

(01:28:04):
that's on their call Project You, and it's all geared
towards helping people to do exactly what it is evolve.

Speaker 2 (01:28:10):
So if anyone's feeling very curious after this conversation, they
should Evolve.

Speaker 1 (01:28:13):
Plus Evolve plus dot TV. Yep.

Speaker 2 (01:28:16):
Amazing, John, Thank you so much for your time, your energy,
your insight. It's it's remarkable. It's something like I said,
I'm so curious about I'm really fascinated by the way
you present it.

Speaker 1 (01:28:27):
I feel like I've learned so much, and thank you
for having me.

Speaker 2 (01:28:29):
And yeah, if it was anything I didn't ask you
that you wish I asked you.

Speaker 1 (01:28:32):
No, it is really thought provoking questions.

Speaker 2 (01:28:35):
Okay, thank you, good, I'm glad. Well, thank you so
much again, honestly, thank you, and yeah, I look forward
to learning so much more on this. The book sounds fascinating,
so I'm excited for people to dive into it as well.

Speaker 1 (01:28:45):
Because the feedback has been like the book, it's probably
the best reviewed book that I've been a part of.

Speaker 2 (01:28:50):
I mean it does. The stories just sound incredible. So
congratulations as you, Yeah, thank you amazing. If this is
the year that you're trying to get creative, you're trying
to build more, I need you to listen to this
episode with Rick Rubin on how to break into your
most creative self, how to use unconventional methods that lead
to success, and the secret to genuinely loving what you do.

(01:29:13):
If you're trying to find your passion and your lane,
Rick Rubin's episode is the one for you.

Speaker 1 (01:29:19):
Just because I like it, that doesn't give it any value,
Like as an artist, if you like it, that's all
of the value. That's the success comes when you say
I like this enough for other people to see it.

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