NICK JONAS: The REAL Story Behind a Lifetime of Fame, His Inner Critic, and How Fatherhood Changed Everything

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I think that I sort of created a label for
myself because I was being told that I was the
shy one or whatever it was at that time, or
the sort of creative moody one.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
And these labels, like they do, stick with you as
you get older and you.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
Start to sort of subscribe to it as well, and
then it becomes a part of your self.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Talk.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. Today. I'm sitting
down with global superstar Nick Jonas, singer, songwriter, actor from
solo It's Like Jealous and Chains to chart topping anthems
with his brothers, Nick has continually evolved both personally and creatively.
Nick is said to release his fifth solo album, Sunday

(00:42):
Best out February sixth, twenty twenty six, and intimate project
reflecting his life as a husband, father, and the purpose
he's found beyond the spotlight. Please welcome to On Purpose
Nick Jonas. Nick, it's great to have you here. Finally.
I feel like I've been waiting this moment.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Long overdue, and that intro was amazing. Thank you. I'm
very flattered.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
I always have to say to my guest that you
had to live it and we were just talking. I
mean You've done thousands of shows since you started performing
as a young kid. I was so lucky. I got
to see you all at American dream More last year,
which was amazing. A few years ago we were just
reminiscing twenty twenty one. I got to, I think, travel
with you and the brothers for like three shows.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
You were on tour.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
I was on tour for three shows out of like
the one hundred you probably did.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
That yeight to have you. How did you and Joe meet? Me?

Speaker 3 (01:31):
And Joe Mett? Do you know what's crazy? We met
online during the pandemic. Him and Lily Collins were hosting
a charity event and I was asked to come on
and lead a meditation online, and Lily and Joe both
messed me afterwards separately and said, can you teach meditation
to us and our friends? And that's how me and

(01:51):
Joe Matt and so it was one of those surreal
experiences where we had a two year friendship online before
I even met him in New York, which is then when.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
Mark's uh, you know, a time where most connections were
made on the internet while everyone was staying at home
during COVID, but he was he was so excited to
have met you and then to be working with you
and doing the group that you guys did.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
Was it's every Sunday or Yeah, it was like every
Saturday or Sunday he would decide Zen Zone and then
lasted seventy five weeks. Incredible, It's unbelieva.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
People got engaged from it.

Speaker 3 (02:23):
Yeah, married people, Vanessa and Carl and then and then
I got to meet you and Kevin on that tour
and I was I was just saying to you, I
was so impressed. First of all, you guys are the
nicest people in the world. I remember we went out
for dinners that time, you know, hung out. But more importantly,
you were so calm and collected before you went on.
You were such a good time before you went on.

(02:43):
I was always like trying to be out the way,
and you guys just made us feel like part of
the family. And then you'd go out there absolutely crush it,
you know, sometimes in the middle of nowhere, just like
going crazy, and it was it was so fun to
be with you guys.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
Honestly, it was great to have you were some really
great conversations. I remember some of the flights and just
the dinners we had, but that tour specifically was was
a crazy one because it was during you know, the pandemic,
and we were one of only a few artists that
were really able to get out safely and and play
some shows. We love performing and and that's why we
we do it as frequently as we do. Once our

(03:15):
obviously our plans changed once COVID happen and everyone had
to be at home. We were We were really grateful
that we caught a window where we could go and
safely play those shows and they could come join us.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
Yeah, on the road bed for a few days.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was. It was amazing. I only
lasted three shows, I think, you know, But Nick, I
feel like I've been watching new interviews with the brothers.
I've seen so much of what you've done. But this
is like the first time you've sat down separate of
the brothers since you guys got back together and the
band got back together. Who's who's Nick Jonas today, separa
of the Jonas brothers.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
It's a great question. Changes every day, I feel like,
you know.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
I for those that don't know that are watching or
listening to this, you know, in the last couple of years,
my life's changed quite a bit. My wife and I know,
my wife, Brianca, we have a beautiful daughter named multi
Marie Choper Jonas. Parenthood has has really changed my life
in so many ways, but also my perspective and the
way I view myself, and you know, as it relates

(04:14):
to my work as well, obviously there's a huge influence
there as well, and so I think I had a
better sense of who I was prior to that, and
then everything shifted once she arrived. What's great is that
I have this wonderful outlet in my songwriting and my
you know, music career where I can speak about some
of these things that are happening in my life. And luckily,

(04:36):
you know, our audience, both with the Brothers and Solo,
have really grown with us, and they're they're kind of
going through some of the same life experiences. So it
really is like speaking to peers and people that can
understand kind of the language right and and understand just
what you're going through. So I've felt, you know, some
freedom to express myself even more in my work these days,

(04:57):
which I think is reflected in my latest album, which
I know we sent over before for you to listen to.
A track or two, just get some context. But you know,
I'm really looking forward to to people hearing this work
and kind of listening to these lyrics and getting a
window into my life.

Speaker 3 (05:16):
Yeah, I'm excited to dive into Sunday Best. I poked
out some of my favorite lyrics from some of the songs,
so we'll get to that. But I wanted to ask you,
I go back a little bit. What you're saying is
almost like you started performing an age when kids don't
even know who they are and your life was so public.
What was that like now? Looking back, like, what was
that experience?

Speaker 1 (05:36):
Like? I started performing when I was professionally. When I
was eight, I was doing Broadway shows as a kid.

Speaker 3 (05:43):
You know.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
Our parents' very musical people.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
Our dad was a minister in New Jersey at the time,
and we were, you know, close enough to New York
City where this dream of mine to go and perform
in Broadly.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
Stage was actually somewhat of a possibility.

Speaker 1 (05:57):
And I happen to be in a hair salam with
my mom when I was like six or seven years old,
just singing as I always did, you know, some show tune,
and the woman next to her leaned over and said, Hey,
my son is actually on Broadway right now, and le miz,
your son could do it, you should go see this manager.
So a couple weeks later, they drove me and the
brothers to go see this manage named Shirley Grant. She

(06:17):
was this lovely older woman with all these photos of
kid actors on her wall that she had made famous,
and she was kind of a staple in New Jersey
for kids that wanted to be in the business. And
I went in and I auditioned for her, sang you know,
all the songs I knew, which was mostly just pop music,
and then she h she said, well, there's there's some

(06:39):
signs here that we could have, you know, a path
ahead of us, but you need to go learn show tunes.
So I spent six months devastated that it didn't just happen,
you know, my very short sighted seven year old mind,
thinking my career was over. And I, you know, started
learning show tunes with my dad and came back and
audition for her again, and she started sending me on

(07:00):
auditions and eventually I was on the Broadway stage and
I've really not looked back since. Went from doing that
for three or four years to recording music and then
you know, just the stars kind of aligning, and obviously
me and the brothers had a you know, a song
that we wrote we were kids that someone heard that
label and one sign all three of us, and it
just kind of went from there.

Speaker 3 (07:20):
Growing up on Disney in front of millions, Like, how
did that shape your sense of self now when you
reflect back on it.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
Being you know, the first family of the church, right,
dad was the pastor. We were expected to behave a
certain way, expected to be sat in the front pew
of the church every Sunday morning with our tie and
you know, our suit on, and there was a lot
of eyeballs on us, which I think was actually great
training ground for what we would then experience on Disney

(07:49):
so many years later. We didn't expect that to happen.
We were initially signed to a label that didn't really
know what to do with us, and we got dropped
after our first album came out, and we were, you know,
hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, credit card debt
money that we did not have because there's there's no
money in ministry.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
Really.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
We had to sort of figure something out, and thankfully
we got a call from Hollywood Records, which is, you know,
under the Disney umbrella, and they said, we know what
to do with the guys, and a couple of weeks
later they had us on the Disney Channel and things
just started going. But the real head scratcher was, Okay,
what does it look like when it goes from just
a couple of hundred people in the church with all

(08:29):
their eyeballs on you to millions upon millions of people
where you know you're expected to sort of behave a
certain way. I think our parents did a great job.
We all turned out somewhat okay, I think, But you know,
you see the stories. We've all seen the stories of
people that have really struggled coming out of that or
while they're in it, and I think it's a credit

(08:51):
to their parenting.

Speaker 3 (08:53):
Yeah, I've met your parents have been wonderful, the best. Yeah,
they're great energy and you can see where you three
get it from. But yeah, it's it's even that early failure.
I mean, to be failing at that age, to be
dropped from a record label tons of debt. Like when
I hear that, I go, Okay, when you look at
it from today's perspective, you're like, oh, yeah, of course
they made it anyway, It didn't matter. But it's like,

(09:14):
at that time, I can imagine that being really heavy
on your family on was it quick enough a pivot
where Hollywood records came or was it did you have
to sit in that pain for a little bit.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
You know, there was a couple of things happening in
our life at that time that made, you know, the
career as aspect of it almost feel less of a
burden than some of the personal things that were going on.
You know, our dad was at that church for ten years.
It was a real, you know, safety net for us
and a place where we felt a part.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Of a community.

Speaker 1 (09:47):
And some of the families that were there prior to
our arrival did not like my dad and made it
their mission to get him pushed out of the church,
so effectively he lost his job while also funding this band,
this dream of ours. We had to move out of
our home because we were living in the church parsonage, which

(10:09):
is owned by the church, and so we moved into
a basically a little house in a place called Little Falls,
New Jersey. The owners of the home were kind enough
to let us rent it from them for basically nothing
while we were in this transitional period and around the
same time, while we're on tour doing.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
A school tour. Basically would show up at eight.

Speaker 1 (10:29):
Am, load in our own gear and play a thirty
minute assembly basically, and then there was an anti drug
school anti drug message at the end of it that
our uncle Josh was our tour manager, would give. You know,
around this time, I'm starting to lose weight, I'm you know,
I thirsty all the time, I'm using the bathroom all
the time, and kind of just thought it was a

(10:49):
gross burger or that I was just you know, going
through puberty. Obviously it wasn't that it was a diabetes diagnosis.
So it all kind of collided at the same time
and you know, looked up and life just looked very different.
And so it took a lot of faith and even
questioning faith at that time, going from the safety of

(11:11):
the church to all of a sudden being sort of
betrayed by them and having to redefine relationship with God
while going through some of your toughest moments. It's weird,
weird time, but we came out of it okay, and
that phone call from Disney kind of changed our life.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yeah, I mean it's interesting that you put it into
perspective that like losing a record deal compared to your
dad losing his job, you know, the faith challenge that's happening,
you going through diabetes. It's like, it's interesting when you
look at your life like that and everything's put into perspective.
I just had a friend who's an author. She just
had a book come out, and she was talking to

(11:47):
me about how before the book came out, all she
was thinking about was book sales and data and if
she'd get on the New York Times and all this
kind of stuff that you think about. Yeah, and then
she had a family go through a health scare and
her partner went through a health scare and it was
really serious, and she was just saying that she was
in one sense grateful that that happened before, because it
just completely made a zoom out and the perspective completely changed,

(12:09):
and she wasn't worried about all those things that we
would naturally be worried about. What did you do as
a family and what did you do individually at that
time to kind of keep that faith? As you said, like,
what were those challenging questions you were asking what were
the things coming at you that you were then able
to find your center of grounding. What helped you do
that at that.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Time writing music, Our parents got us, say a v
drum kit, which is an electronic drum kit where you
could hook up your iPod and play along to the track.
So it's kind of the way that I learned how
to play drums. In that basement that that drum set
was kept in. We also had a little guitar rig
and a keyboard, and you know, I was growing up

(12:51):
going through life stuff, right first love, first date, all
this kind of things that are really good found are
a very good foundation to write music. You know, we
had we had a good sense of what we wanted
the next record to sound like. We didn't know if
we'd be able to make one because things were not
going so well, but we just kept writing. We went
down there every day and tried to write the best

(13:12):
song we could, and we came out with a demo
from that chapter of our our sort of toughest windows
a family. Nine to ten months come of the demo
CD with with eleven songs that would then become the
self titled album that we released that that connected and
went on to sell you know, millions of units and
really redefined our career in our life. But it was

(13:35):
born out of this incredible struggle that we were going
through and kind of desperation almost, which I don't think
is a great way to write from, great place to
write from, but sometimes it is the fire you need
to sort of get over that hurdle. And when I
listen back to those songs now, I still really resonate

(13:55):
with some of the messages in there, and even you know,
the age appropriate, right. I think our dad was really
great at encouraging us to listen to the greats, you know,
the Eagles, the Beatles, Beg's, Stevie Wonder, but also to
like what we liked. And at that time, you know,
two thousand and four, two thousand and five, the sort

(14:16):
of emo pop punk scene was massive, and we really
responded to I think some of the angst and the
music because we were teens who were going through this
stuff and also navigating dating and all those other things,
and so we started kind of infusing that into our
sound and it really became a crucial part of the
early records for us. And obviously as we've evolved, so

(14:39):
has the sound, But I think back on those times
even amidst the struggle with a lot of appreciation.

Speaker 3 (14:48):
Yeah, just it always I love learning that because it
just constantly points to how when you're going through tough times,
creating and building and doing something and taking action is
always half the solution in terms of like getting momentum
moving forward. Trying to create, build, grow, do something just

(15:09):
allows humans to break through these really difficult times that
go on in life. Looking back, was there a challenge
growing up as a Jonas brother and not just as Nick?

Speaker 1 (15:19):
Finding your own identity amidst a group is always tough.
That's not unique to us. That's any siblings, right, go
through something like that where they've got to find their
own identity and even you know, their place in the
family for each of us, being sort of labeled a
thing because it's the easiest way for people to sort

(15:41):
of digest a new band is to say, oh, he's
the this one, he's this one. And it got tiring,
you know, because I'm sort of inherently like a pretty
reserved person. I think the people that know me best
would say that I'm actually quite outgoing once you get
to know me. But I think that I sort of
created a label for myself because I was being told

(16:02):
that I was the shy one, or you know, whatever
it was at that time, or the sort of creative,
moody one. And these the least labels, like they do
stick with you as you get older, and so I
think when I got into my sort of late teens
and early twenties, especially as I started to explore sort
of my identity as a solo artist and as as

(16:24):
an adult, I tried to shed that. And when I
look back on it now as a person in my thirties,
I can kind of like laugh at the stages of
life and how those early labels and trying to find
my identity amidst this group, you know, really shaped who
I became.

Speaker 3 (16:42):
Yeah, Yeah, And you see that across like musicians, actors,
athletes as well, where like they get a label and
now you're almost playing the caricature of that label, yeah,
and having to because a there's some success attached to it.
But like you said, you're just a young person still
figuring out who you are. It's easy to be the
thing that everyone thinks you are. How do you think

(17:03):
that that was limiting and in what ways was actually helpful.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
The ways in which it was limiting were that you
start to sort of subscribe to it as well, and
then it becomes a part of yours your self talk.

Speaker 2 (17:14):
You know.

Speaker 1 (17:14):
I was not regularly in therapy in my teens. I
think because our dad was from, you know, a ministry background,
there was sort of a taboo around it.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
Would we would often you know.

Speaker 1 (17:28):
Refer to sort of therapy as as more like a
counseling session with a person.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
In the church.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
Throughout those years following our exit from the church, I
really questioned faith and what relationship I would have to
sort of organize religion at all, which is something that
I can I can say now knowing that my relationship
with my God is totally intact and that my belief
is totally intact, and I think it's important for everyone

(17:56):
to go on sort of that journey of self discovery.
But during that time, I think we could have all
benefited from sort of a more traditional mental health sort
of approach. So that's how it's limiting to answer that question,
and then how it helped It made me really tough.
I have nothing to complain about my life because I

(18:19):
am eternally grateful for every thing that has been given
to me. Every experience I've been afforded and I understand
that I walk in privilege and so I'm grateful for that.
That being said, life does still three curveballs, and there
are things that are challenging. I'm grateful for the grit

(18:41):
that I had to take on because living a public
life comes with these things, comes with the very good,
the things that we all think are glamorous and amazing,
and also with some shit that you've got to navigate,
and whether it's family or friends or just sheer determination
and grit, that's I think the positive I pulled from it.

Speaker 3 (19:03):
Yeah, thanks for saying that, because I think what I'm
encouraging all our listeners to do as well as think
about how all life experiences are both limiting and helpful.
And I think as humans we have this ability to
paint and experience all bad or all good, and the
reality is no, there's nuance there and there's gray, and
it's good to be able to reflect on something that

(19:23):
was tough and go. Actually, I've got a lot of
great stuff from that too, Like in so many ways,
that's what's made me strong and resilient and ready for
the future. At the same time, I'm aware that, hey,
it would have been great to have some traditional therapy
or you know, some things at that time, and I
think having that approach is so helpful. What was romanticized

(19:57):
about the Disney era that now you look back on
and go that was probably not that healthy.

Speaker 1 (20:03):
Well, I mean, it's global exposure and when they turn
I call it the faucet. When Disney turns the faucet on,
it just goes right. And when they know they have
something that has potential to be successful, they're the best
team and company to market that to the audience that
they've spoken to with such excellence for as long as

(20:25):
they have. At that time, you had a pretty incredible
graduating class. I mean, if you look at the success
that everyone from that kind of era has had post Disney,
I think it says more about their ability to find
talent that has legs, that has the potential for real

(20:46):
adult success in addition to the success in the channel.
What I romanticize about it and what I think back
on is those elements the idea that there's this big
company that can just make things happen, and it's exciting
when it does. But also now you know, being a
part of a thing like a camp rock for instance,

(21:08):
is you know, really incredible. I think for a while,
as I was trying to solidify myself as an adult
performer and creative person, some of those things from our
Disney pass were like embarrassing, like like looking back at
a yearbook would be for somebody. Now, I'm just so
proud to have been a part of something that had

(21:31):
the global reach that that that had, or other projects
we did with them. And it isn't until you're you know,
you're grown and you've sort of on the other side
of that that you can see that perspective. And yeah,
I just I look at it and go, wow, those
kids were fearless, all of us and really had had
no formal training or I mean it shows in some cases,

(21:55):
but it's the best training ground there is.

Speaker 3 (21:57):
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. If someone said today, Nick, you're shy,
your moody, you're the creative one. What would you How
would you react to that?

Speaker 1 (22:04):
I would say, you're right to some degree, But I
don't know. You sit and break bread with me or
have a drink, you'll see pretty quickly that.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
I like to have a laugh, you know.

Speaker 1 (22:17):
I am thoughtful in the way that I respond to
questions and the things that come out of my mouth,
I know, bear consequences or bear fruit. Right, there's there's
good to be had. There's also times that you say
a thing you didn't mean to say, or you make
a joke that doesn't quite land right, and you know,
you fall flat on your face, and we've all had

(22:39):
those moments. Two things can be true. I can be
the person I was as a team where I was
given that label, but I can also evolve and become
this other sort of more dynamic person that I strive
to be.

Speaker 3 (22:50):
Yeah. Absolutely, I'm glad you said that. I feel like
when we were at dinner, you was the one sparking
off really thoughtful conversations and like, you know, getting us
all kind of like discussing something interesting, and I'm like
and hearing you say that, I mean, I think about
my experience in a much more smaller way than you.
But I've always felt that, like because of what I
do for work and because of my who I am online,

(23:13):
which is who I am, it's just a part of me.
I have to feel Everyone's like, oh, well, Jay takes
life really seriously and he can't joke around and I'm
like my friends who know me the best know that
all I want to do is banter and like rip
into someone because that's who I am behind the scenes,
and that's who I truly am. And obviously that isn't
It's not that it's misaligned with my work. It's just
we're all these three hundred and sixty degree people. But

(23:35):
because we watch everyone for thirty seconds on a TikTok
or a real you kind of become this very simplified
version of yourself.

Speaker 1 (23:42):
Yeah, it's so true, and that there are times now
I feel like I watch back certain interviews that I've
done in the past, and I try not to be
ultra critical of myself.

Speaker 2 (23:54):
I am, we all are, I feel like, but.

Speaker 1 (23:56):
I sort of have this yearbook that lives out in
the world world, you know, and I can't kind of
control that.

Speaker 2 (24:03):
That's just part of the thing.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
But I often will watch back interviews and go I
can see where I was like projecting what I wanted
people to think of me, or you know, I'm withholding
a hot take or an opinion that I think might
get me in trouble. I've been fortunate enough to have
not misstepped in my life to in a way that

(24:25):
would limit my ability to continue to do what I'm doing.
We are all capable of making mistakes, and I feel like,
you know, having the world get to sort of see
into to my my life has been both wonderful and
also really frightening at times.

Speaker 3 (24:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:44):
So I try to live honestly and just you know,
lay it out for people now because I think it's
just waysier to connect. And so to your point about
the dinner conversations, I love the freedom of having great,
in depth, intense conversations with friends and having a laugh
as well, and getting more and more comfortable fully being

(25:07):
myself for the world to see as well.

Speaker 3 (25:10):
Yeah. I like the way you put it though. It's
like the world has access to your yearbook. Yeah, and
that's a really interesting way to think about it based
on what you just said. Actually, I wanted to pull
out a lyric here that I had from Yeah. So
you were just saying there that often when you look
back at your interviews, you can look back and we
can be critical or negative. And you write in your

(25:30):
new single, gut Punch, I'm going to read your lyrics
back to you. If that's okay. You said hit me
like a gut punch. I hurt my own feelings. How
did I get so good at being mean to myself?
I should turn the eat down, tell myself to chill out, tim,
I really hate the way I talk to myself. Now,
what would it be like if I just tried to
be nice to the person that I'm seeing in the mirror?

(25:51):
If you find that inner child, haven't seen him for
a while, let him know he's doing fine. And I
feel like, like when I hate hear that, I'm like, yeah,
I can, I can relate to it. You've got a
lot more material to kind of be critical of yourself
for that's visible to other people as well. When did
you first become aware of the inner critic that was

(26:13):
so strong? Like, when did you start to recognize Wait
a minute, I can be quite hard on myself.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
I think after I was diagnosed with type one diabetes,
a major shift happened in my life where I never
believed that I did anything to get diabetes. For those
that don't know, type one is an autoimmune disease. It's
not the same as type two, which can be caused
from a number of things, but porting habits lack of

(26:38):
exercise would be sort of the main cause of type two,
whereas type one, your body just decides it's going to
stop making insulin naturally, and so then your glucose levels
are it's not possible for them to be in range,
which has a number of major side effects. And I
think the biggest misconception which I've I've tried to be
a part of, you know, educating people on because I

(26:59):
know it's really an education issue and there's no bias
per se, just people don't know that it can be
deadly if it's not treated. So when I reflected, you know,
this is when I first started doing therapy in my
early twenties, on kind of the way in which I
handled living with this disease, I became very critical of

(27:24):
how serious I was taking it, or even the opposite
end of that spectrum, which is am I taking it
too seriously? You know, at that time, there's a lot
of a lot of noise made about it because I
was sort of the only public person talking about Type

(27:46):
one in this way as an advocate, and I became
really discouraged by some of the feedback. This was the
first time I recall feeling and I'm going to use
a big word here, and I don't mean for it
to sound so intense, but feeling trade by people in
the sense that I wanted to just be a normal

(28:07):
kid like everybody else and not be dealing with this thing.
I wasn't trying to make a meal out of it.
I'm just sharing my truth about this, and it was
made to feel like, oh, he's making too big a
deal and it's not that serious. And so I became
very critical of like everything I was doing in that sense,
whether I was doing enough to manage it or not enough.
And then later on, you know, in my life, I

(28:28):
was met with a situation where I really kind of
fell flat on my face, not literally, but that would
have been better actually than what happened. But I had
a TV performance where this guitar solo moment that I
was supposed to play as a feature on a Kelsey
Ballerini track just didn't happen, Like I went blank, I
hit a bad note.

Speaker 2 (28:48):
Then I couldn't kind of recover.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
And I had built up this this skyscraper of you know,
this idea that music and being a musician was my
whole life entity, and it was unimaginable how how important
that was to me. For that skyscraper to stay standing
and not have any cracks in it or anything.

Speaker 2 (29:11):
And I had to sort of relearn who I was.

Speaker 1 (29:16):
If you took this thing away, it'd be like taking
my singing voice away?

Speaker 2 (29:20):
Who am I? What do I do?

Speaker 1 (29:22):
And it was just a really tough season in my life,
and everything I did after that, I was just incredibly
critical of myself. And then I started to do that
thing where you you make the joke before others can
you sort of you think it's already in the room
before you arrive, so you have to and no one
was thinking about it. And that's been true a number

(29:42):
of times in my life where I feel like something's
happened that didn't go the way I wanted it to,
and that everyone's talking about it, and so there's that
wrestle of like am I am I just a narcissist
thinking that this is as important everybody else? And then
it's just a cyclical thing. And so the gut punch
lyrics were really important to me because it's the first

(30:03):
time I've been able to say this thing that I've
felt for a long time. And it wasn't until I
got to the bridge where I wrote that line my
coros and song are amazing and really allowed for me
to be this honest. I felt kind of similar to
the way I do with you, which is that I
can speak more freely because you've created the environment for

(30:24):
me to do that feels welcoming and warm to that.
And they did the same thing, and I just started
talking about you know, I said, I think my hair
stopped growing? Is that even a thing? I haven't lost
any of it, but something ain't the same. Maybe it's
a metaphor is even that deep? I think my hair
stopped growing?

Speaker 2 (30:45):
Or is it me?

Speaker 1 (30:47):
And it was sort of like a poem that I
had wrote in the mirror that morning, and it was
funny at first made me chuckle, and then I realized
when we got to that or is it me part, like, Oh,
that's what it's about.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
Like I actually was prize that I was.

Speaker 1 (31:02):
I was willing to be that honest a thing maybe
I didn't want to say out loud anyway, got to
the bridge and that that lyric is my favorite on
the album, which is about the Inner Child, because I
feel like, as I mentioned before, that kid was fearless
and he was just doing it and I'd love to
spend some time with him again, because I admire his grit,

(31:25):
his fearlessness. I feel like I've reverted to like factory
settings or something, and maybe I need to I don't know,
but he's cool.

Speaker 3 (31:34):
Thank you for going there. It's so fascinating to me
that we first judge ourselves for mistakes or things that
we call mistakes. Then we judge ourselves for judging ourselves,
because then we're like, wait a minute, why am I
judging myself for judging myself? That makes me even worse. Yeah,
and now you're like three judgments deep on judging yourself

(31:56):
for feeling shame and guilt, and then judging yourself for
the fact that you're judging yourself for having shame and gilt.
And it feels like a very everything you just said
feels like a very real emotion that each and every
one of us can resonate with. Right I'm sure everyone's
listening right now, can go Yeah. I've had moments like
that when I didn't feel like I did the right thing,
and then all of a sudden, everyone had a viewpoint
on it. And whether you have the world watching you,

(32:18):
or you have your ten friends or twenty friends in school,
watching you proportionately, it feels the same, you know, and
it can be so challenging. And when you're saying that
out loud to me, I'm like, what would you say
to that younger self now if you could spend some
time with him? And what would you not say to
that younger self if you could spend some time with him?

Speaker 2 (32:39):
Yeah? I would.

Speaker 1 (32:40):
I would, well, just to sort of wack to one
thing you said, please, Yeah, I got this music and
these stories and that they're all human experiences. It has
nothing to do with it being specific to my life
other than it's you know, my wife and daughter that
I'm talking about or other situations. But I really wanted
to make something that everyone could relate to in their
own way.

Speaker 2 (33:00):
That's one thing.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
And then the thing I would say to my younger
self is, you know, congratulations you get to marry Prianka
Chopra Jonas.

Speaker 2 (33:11):
That's pretty cool.

Speaker 1 (33:15):
And also, you know, your daughter is incredible. She's just
she's magic in every every sense of the word. She
just turned four a couple weeks ago. Blows my mind.
You know, I look at her and I can I
can see her future, Like I just know she's going

(33:36):
to do amazing things, and I'm all struck that I
get to experience her magic.

Speaker 3 (33:46):
That's beautiful, man, I love hearing that. That's especially when
a happy Blaid birthday. Yeah, thank you, that's so beautiful.
I can see that got you a little Yeah, for sure,
what's going through your mind.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
No, she's she's just perfect in every way, and every
parent says that. But uh, you know, this morning I
was actually at her new preschool to sort of be
back there in the context of being a dad, you know,
just a wild thing, and you know, she she came
to the world under sort of very intense circumstances which

(34:26):
I've not really talked about ever. We were expecting her
to arrive in April for the year she was born,
and we get a call that it's going to be sooner.
So we we basically you know, went into action, and
she was born via surrogate, and so we got to

(34:47):
the hospital and she came out. She was one pound
eleven ounces and you know, purple basically they these angels
at the nick. You kind of necessitated her in that moment,
and you know, got her taken care of really quickly

(35:10):
and intubated and everything else.

Speaker 3 (35:12):
And so.

Speaker 1 (35:14):
Because it was COVID times. My wife and I would
basically do twelve hour shifts at the hospital for three
and a half months. I can still sort of like
smell it, you know, there's always visceral things. It's it's
it was both comforting and frightening to be there every
day and to see sort of other families going through
similar situations. But she fought every day for three and

(35:39):
a half months and you know, slowly started to gain
some weight and after six blood transfusions, she was she
was doing great, and.

Speaker 2 (35:52):
You know, we got to take her home after three
and a half months. And I feel like she knows
how she entered the world and what that first chapter
of her life was like, and so every day is
a gift and you can actually feel it on her
in the way that she behaves and how exciting everything is.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (36:12):
How much she remembers, probably nothing, but spiritually I believe
that there's gratitude in her and.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
You know, she's incredible.

Speaker 3 (36:24):
I mean, thank you for sharing that with us, as
I feel like that's the behind the scenes that no
one has a clue about, and you know we're not
aware of and talk to me about the conversations that
you and Priyanka having, because I think the part that
people forget when you have a child that's going through
any sort of difficulty is that you're obviously worried about
the child, But then it also affects the relationship with

(36:46):
your partner because you're both worried about the child. What
were the kind of conversations you were having that was
helping you both and supporting you both.

Speaker 1 (36:55):
We had a lot of tough conversations day and day
out about caring for her, trying to care for each
other and for her, and focusing on not getting overwhelmed.
It can all just feel so big, and parenthood in
general is is it's a lot for everybody, you know,

(37:16):
especially in those early stages of kid's life. And this
just became about staying emotionally tough and being there for
each other. If you need to to cry, you know
that shoulder is there and ready to cry on. If
you need to just have a laugh for a minute,
just to take your mind off, try to provide that
for the other person. It's a lot of give and
take from both of us. And you know, my my

(37:40):
wife is just as as you know, she's a brilliant,
brilliant woman with a ton of heart and perspective, and
the way in which she handled it was so inspiring
to me. And uh, you know, allowing for those those
days to be tough, but to be tougher for our
little girl was the focus.

Speaker 3 (38:03):
Was there something you'd share with other couples who go
through their own version of that that you think would
be really helpful to them.

Speaker 2 (38:13):
The thing that helped us the most was being patient
with each other. It is hard sometimes when you're feeling
emotional to sort of access that logical brain to say
we need to be patient. We need to just meet
your person where they are in that moment and that
that goes both ways, and so you know, being patient

(38:36):
with your partners is crucial.

Speaker 3 (38:38):
Yeah, I can imagine those twelve hour shifts back to
back for three months felt like they lasted forever. Yeah,
I can feel like it didn't feel like three months.
It must have felt like it's never ending.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
Well, it's not the kind of thing that you ever
want to find a routine doing, you know. It's it's
bizarre when you're when you're used to going to the
hospital every day. You know, it's it's all like a
tough reality check when that she had to be kept
in Yeah, she was in the nick You for three
and a half months.

Speaker 2 (39:08):
Yeah, so.

Speaker 1 (39:10):
You know, just driving there and back each day and
seeing each other sort of as passing ships, was a
crazy thing. And I'll just say this about the nick
You nurses. They are truly angels. And we've you know,
seen a few at some of our shows. Priyanka spoke

(39:30):
about this experience once before in an interview, and so
some people knew. And so there was some nicky nurses
at a couple of shows and they was hold up
a sign and it makes me cry every time I
see it because they're they're angels. And we actually got
to have some of the nurses that were taking care
of multi Marie come out to a show and I
met them after or sorry, just before, and it was, yeah,

(39:57):
incredible to see and I got to show them a
foot of her. Now she's she's no longer one pound
eleven ounces, beautiful, healthy, little four year old girl.

Speaker 3 (40:07):
I love that. Has she been out to see some
of you?

Speaker 1 (40:11):
Yeah, she she loves our song love Me to Heaven.
She sings at the top of her lungs and basically
she's got the bug already. She wants to be on stage,
and so pre oncast to stand side stage with her
holding her dress back so she doesn't run on the
stage with us. She doesn't quite understand that that you know,
she she can't join just yet, but I'm sure she
will someday.

Speaker 3 (40:31):
Yeah. I love that you spoke about how you know,
you congratulate your youngest self for marrying for dress, which

(40:55):
I love. And I think you guys have been married
for what seven years now? It's seven years years? And
I wanted to ask you because your relationship is so special,
even even from the outside in and for those who
don't know you, I think everyone you know loves that.
What did you know from the moment you met?

Speaker 2 (41:10):
Like?

Speaker 3 (41:11):
Was it that early and that clear? Is it one
of those if you know you know when you know you.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
In some ways?

Speaker 3 (41:18):
You know.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
I was first kind of introduced to Prianca by way
of seeing her billboard on Sunset Boulevard for her show Quantico, and.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
I was like, Wow, she's stunning, That's what I thought.

Speaker 1 (41:31):
And I was doing this movie with this guy who
had just worked with there, and he said, hey, you know,
you guys would really hit it off.

Speaker 2 (41:37):
But he never connected us.

Speaker 1 (41:39):
So after a few months of waiting to be connected,
I got impatient and went on Twitter and saw what
she followed me, which she claims we followed each other.
I didn't, but I saw she followed me. So I
DMed her and we messaged for about a year before
we kind of ever met in person, and then we
finally met up for.

Speaker 2 (42:00):
A drink in New York.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
I almost left because she was about forty five minutes late,
which which I now know is a thing, so I
expect that, but I thankfully I stayed and she sat
down and we had a great conversation and went back
to her place after to have a drink, and as

(42:23):
we walked in, her mom was there watching Law and Order.
So I met her mother on the first night that
we met, which is perfect. It wasn't until about a
year after that, after talking, you know, back and forth,
that I was like, we need to really give this
a proper, proper gole's when you're back in La next,
what's going a date? And that night when I saw

(42:43):
her walk in, she was wearing blue jeans, a white
top and like a black leather jacket, and I just
was like, I'm going to marry this woman, and I
knew it right away.

Speaker 2 (42:55):
I told her that I loved her.

Speaker 1 (42:56):
After the second or third date, I call my mom
the next day and said, I'm gonna marry this woman.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
I'd love for you to meter soon.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
It was literally two and a half months after that
that we're engaged, and three months after that or four
months after that that we were married.

Speaker 2 (43:11):
Yeah, seven years later, it's crazy.

Speaker 3 (43:13):
That's awesome. I love that. Yeah, I love though it
is when in that sense, when you know, you know,
there's I'm thinking about it as you're explaining it, like
you've you know, as I was saying, people are obsessed
about you guys' relationship, you know, analyzing it constantly. How
have you protected that even when you're going through things
like in the NICU, Like, yeah, you know, everyone's excited

(43:34):
for you guys to have kids. There's you know, you're
in the public eye, both of you massive superstars, and
how have you protected that relationship through all of that?

Speaker 1 (43:42):
For some people on paper, maybe at first it wasn't
like the right fit, and maybe it's the fact that
we do have an age difference for from different parts
of the world. All those things are exactly why it's
right and why it works, and it is so beautiful.
There's so much about the Indian culture which I've I've
gotten to know and love family and the importance of

(44:02):
family and big families being you know, at the.

Speaker 2 (44:07):
Center of that.

Speaker 1 (44:08):
And I really took to all the cultural differences and
loved not just you know, the family aspect, but the
food and friends and just all of it. And so
that was like perfect checked that box. And then like
our age difference was something that I think really bonds us.

(44:30):
And I've lived a lot of life in you know,
thirty three years, and so I think having someone who
has real perspective and depth and wanted to build a
life together was something that I was really drawn to.
And the way we protect it, I think is by
finding ways to laugh through tough moments, you know, not

(44:51):
going to bed angry, and knowing that our ability to
build life together and to have our privacy is on us.
It's it's no one else's responsibility, and so you know,
we have to we have to find those times to
just be a family, to just have the three of
us be together and have those quiet moments and really
prioritize it because that that is our only job as

(45:14):
parents is to to just create an environment where she
feels safe to grow and be herself. And and it
really starts with my wife and I building that and
it's it's.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
For no one else but us.

Speaker 3 (45:28):
Yeah, I was saying, I love the way you've celebrated
the culture together. I was saying that the Devaley party
at yours a few years back, you were throwing so fun,
incredible devaliy pies are the best de Valey pies I've
been to. And it would be like, yeah, I mean,
first of all, you look great in a curter too,
so it's like it helps. But they're like remember Joe
being in a full sharanie too, And like you guys,

(45:48):
it felt like a wedding, but you had like the
best of alley food, best decorations, the candlelights. I mean,
it was spectacular. And to celebrate that with you and
for you to invite so many of your friends who
may not be aware of the valley and the culture
and where you both brought that in LA was was
so spectacular. Like I loved it. It was one of my
it was without that, one of my favorite Vali parties ever.

Speaker 1 (46:09):
So we are the best time it was an amazing
thing to bring a daisy culture into La like that,
into feel so many of our friends who hadn't experienced
it just having the time of their life. You know,
I think Indians know how to do holidays way better
than we do here in the US.

Speaker 3 (46:28):
Well well, well based on that. I don't know if
you know this, but Prianca has sent some answers to
some questions we asked her beforehand, So I'm going to
ask you the same questions, and from what I know,
I was. I was telling the team when we were
preparing for this, I was like, you know, Nick's really
good at details. Like I was like, I've seen Nick
talk about Brianca like he doesn't miss a beat and
we share that. I'm like, that were me and my

(46:49):
wife talk. I'm like, I know all the details. I
know what she was wearing, I know what day it was.
She has no clue, and so I was like, I
can relate to Nick on that. But anyway, let's see,
let's see who's right. So this game is called what
did your wife say? Uh? And Pranka sent her answers,
so they're all real answers, they've been verified. So what
was Priyanka's first impression of Nick what would she handsome?

Speaker 2 (47:12):
Now?

Speaker 1 (47:14):
I think she probably thought that I was, you know,
sort of quiet as we discussed, you know, reserved, choosing
my words carefully or whatever. I was surprised at how
candid she was and funny, you know, she's she's to
me at that point. I had seen her interviews and things,

(47:35):
and she's.

Speaker 2 (47:35):
She's quite regal.

Speaker 1 (47:36):
Right, she has this real like presence about her, and
and so I don't know expect to make it, but
I was.

Speaker 2 (47:43):
I think she would say that I was trying to
see more adult or something, because she talks about how
she thought I was like putting on a bit of
a nat like this is just it's who I am.

Speaker 3 (47:55):
Sorry, so she says, it shows out well you know
each other. She goes, he was acting older than he is.
He took me to a bougie bar with an average
age of sixty five.

Speaker 2 (48:07):
Yeah, that's true. That's true.

Speaker 3 (48:09):
That's true, sixty five.

Speaker 2 (48:11):
I mean around that. It's a great bar. I've got
a nice little jazz quartet. I thought it was good.

Speaker 3 (48:18):
Okay, Second question, where was your first kiss?

Speaker 2 (48:22):
First kiss was on the balcony at her hotel, right,
here in Los Angeles.

Speaker 3 (48:32):
Yeah, she was very specific. She said, the peninsula in
La Peninsula number two. Yes, so if anyone wants to
go and visit that side, he can be specific.

Speaker 2 (48:42):
Side of the first kiss.

Speaker 3 (48:43):
Yeah, who said I love you first?

Speaker 2 (48:45):
I did? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (48:46):
Yeah, she said Nick three to four days in Yeah,
what was the moment you realized that Nick was the one?

Speaker 2 (48:52):
Oh? Maybe when I went to Indie with her for
the first time.

Speaker 3 (48:58):
She said, when he asked me to marry him. And
then I said, yeah, well that's good timing. It's like, yeah,
just just in time, that's just in time. What would
Prianka say Nick was the most nervous about on your
wedding day?

Speaker 1 (49:11):
To be honest, I wasn't. I wasn't that nervous about
anything on the wedding day. It was just it was hot,
so I was nervous I was gonna be sweating and
that I would look crazy. But uh no, I think
when she when she walked out, she came down the stairs,
I felt this overwhelming sense of peace, like I was

(49:34):
exactly where I was supposed to be.

Speaker 3 (49:35):
Yeah, she agreed. She says he was so sure in control.
I never saw him nervous. So you hid the sweats. Well,
that's it's impressive that I know those Indian outfits get
so hot. Oh my, that is one thing they need
to figure out. Every time I'm wearing a kruto, I'm like,
this is so hot. I don't it's brutal anyone does
in India. What is Prianka's favorite song of Nick's?

Speaker 2 (49:58):
I I believe.

Speaker 3 (50:02):
She says close close.

Speaker 2 (50:04):
It's right. I didn't know that close. She loves close.

Speaker 3 (50:08):
Yeah, so that's the only wrong one so far. That's
this is really this is going great. We've got a
few more. What is Priyanka's favorite dish Nick cooks for her?

Speaker 1 (50:16):
I can't really cook that well. I make sandwiches sometimes.

Speaker 3 (50:20):
She says, two up sandwach. Oh.

Speaker 2 (50:22):
Yeah, that's that's about all all I can do.

Speaker 3 (50:24):
Yeah, yeah, me too. I can't cook to save my life, sir.
What is Nick's most annoying habit?

Speaker 2 (50:31):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (50:33):
I cannot think of what she's gonna say for this overthinking?

Speaker 2 (50:40):
Is that? Is that a fair answer?

Speaker 3 (50:42):
She goes when he's talking to me on the phone
and typing it t LO.

Speaker 2 (50:45):
She does hate that. She'll ask me, hey, can you
make sure to send this message to it? I'm like, yeah. Yeah,
so I'm doing it in real time, so I don't forget.

Speaker 3 (50:53):
Yeah, totally.

Speaker 2 (50:54):
She's like, I'm on the phone with you.

Speaker 3 (50:55):
But you just you just told me. Yeah, I don't
forget to write it down. I'm with you. I'm with
you on that one. I'm on you.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
It is a separate device.

Speaker 3 (51:02):
Yeah, absolutely, you just being productive efficient. Yeah. What does
Priyanka do that really annoys Nick?

Speaker 1 (51:07):
She will answer the phone and then be talking to
someone else in the room for like thirty seconds before
she then, my thing is always just like, just call
me back if you're in the middle of a conversation.

Speaker 2 (51:18):
But it's like literally we'll be talking.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
Yeah, and as if I'm on the phone, she's it's connected,
but we're still talking and she goes, hey, what's up.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
I'm like Hi. It's not like a real thing, annoying thing.
It's just funny.

Speaker 3 (51:33):
Yeah, she goes interrupt him when he's talking, But it's
actually the other way around. It's it's calling you and
then talking to I love that. What would Prianka say
is the thing Nick does that makes her laugh every time?

Speaker 2 (51:46):
Not a good answer, but I don't know what is it?

Speaker 3 (51:49):
When he's being Deasie it's an enduring laugh.

Speaker 2 (51:52):
That's that's nice.

Speaker 3 (51:54):
And then final one, what is Nick way too competitive.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
About most things? I would say? She said everything, Well,
it's pretty good.

Speaker 3 (52:03):
You did good, Nag, I mean you didn't. I literally
think you got like too wrong out of like twenty questions. Nice,
that's pretty impressive. So you are competitor with everything, because
I am you did pretty good. I love that. But Nick,
one thing that I think you know genuinely, and you know,
even from the way you've talked today, you're such a
it feels like you're trying to be such a present

(52:25):
good husband. I wanted to ask you what what is
a good husband? What makes a good husband? What are
you aspiring to be when you're trying to be a
good husband.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
I think that being a good husband for me means
being reliable, trustworthy, knowing that our daughter is watching and
will one day hopefully find somebody that makes her incredibly happy,

(52:56):
and the way in which I treat her mother is
incredibly important to who she becomes. So does my responsibility
to do all I can to make Priyanka happy, to
feel safe, and to make her laugh, to know that

(53:19):
life is a mixed bag of emotions, and experiences, and
it can feel really disorienting and overwhelming sometimes, but it's
a lot easier to traverse all that.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
With a partner who you can rely on.

Speaker 3 (53:36):
Well said, really really well said. Where with you in
a critic, where in your married life have you had
to give yourself more grace?

Speaker 2 (53:45):
I can be reactive.

Speaker 1 (53:47):
It's part of being a sibling, I feel, you know,
we all do that, right, and you kind of do
it when you're growing up because you're fighting for your
place in the dynamic of the family and you share
that space with the people's you know, kids and teens.
You kind of have to fight for yourself a little.

Speaker 2 (54:05):
Bit and defend.

Speaker 1 (54:06):
And being defensive, I feel like is an area in
my life as a whole, but also my marriage that
I'm always trying to improve on, thinking that you know
that a comment of any kind is somehow a criticism
of me, and like, I'm supposed to just trust this
person to to care for me, and yet I'm being

(54:27):
defensive about a thing that's so insignificant, And what am
I trying to protect is the thing I always think about, like,
and it's this guy, this other version of me that
I somehow believe is like perfect, Like how stupid.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
Can I be?

Speaker 1 (54:44):
That's not only impossible, it's just dumb, like you just
and I I've seen at the times in my relationship
with my wife where I'm quicker to you know, a
hug as opposed to it something defensive or trying to
defend myself. It's like just better, life is better?

Speaker 3 (55:07):
Aren't we all? We could all relate to that. Yeah,
always trying to protect my ego, protect my sense of
self when when in reality it's yeah, it's this trying
to protect this perfect version of me that definitely doesn't exist.
And yeah, you're just yeah, it's it's crazy. What you
what you could risk losing by trying to protect something

(55:28):
that yeah that isn't isn't isn't even real? You know?

Speaker 2 (55:32):
So true?

Speaker 3 (55:33):
Yeah, I want to pick up another lyric that I
loved you write in your song Princesses. I use my
imagination for a living. I tell stories and build worlds,
but I never wanted one more than this one with
my little girl. I'm fascinated by your questions. I'm terrified
to let you down. There's no one in nowhere that
I'd rather be than with you here right now, and

(55:54):
even When you started this interview, you talked about how
your sense of self has changed so much since being
a father. Yeah, what has been the thing that surprised
you most about yourself since having your daughter?

Speaker 1 (56:08):
If I'm being totally honest, which I want to be,
the things surprised me most is how easy it.

Speaker 3 (56:17):
Was to.

Speaker 1 (56:20):
Play make believe in and be silly and do a
kid voice, Like I was never one of those people
that did the oh that kind of voice, and all
of a sudden, I'm just doing it. I always was
embarrassed to be silly, and I'm not with her, and
I love the world that she builds with her mind,

(56:42):
and getting to spend time with her there is really incredible,
and I think it's made me a better friend and
husband and better creator. You know, as I approach my
songwriting now, and you know, the work I do as

(57:03):
an actor, I feel like I'm way more prepared for
that because I've gotten to spend time in her world
and it's this magical place where like anything's possible, you know,
and it's such a wonderful, wonderful thing.

Speaker 3 (57:20):
Was your What was both of your reasons for wanting
to keep her out of the spotlight and keep her
personal life pretty private.

Speaker 2 (57:27):
It should be her choice.

Speaker 1 (57:31):
I'm grateful that my parents supported our dream and that
they never you know, looked back or questioned it. They
they ran with us, which was wonderful, and we all
knew this is what we wanted to do. She has
not expressed that yet if she If she does, we'll
support her, you know, and and give her all the

(57:55):
contexts that we have from the twenty plus years that
we've both been doing what we've been doing, that might
be helpful. But it should be her choice. And you
know the world is crazy too. It's a weird, weird world,
and so I think it's it's better for her to
take her time and and you know, have have the

(58:16):
privacy that she needs to become more she wants to become.

Speaker 3 (58:36):
We were talking earlier about as we get older, we
almost get more scared, and you're talking about your younger
self being so fearless. What are the fears that came
up after having a daughter, and what would the fears
that went away after becoming a dad. I have not.

Speaker 2 (58:52):
Been formally diagnosed with anxiety. I mentioned I speak to
a therapist. She's she's wonderful and has given me a
lot of tools that are helpful when I feel kind
of overwhelmed or anxious, and naturally, during the time that
we discussed where our daughter was in Anicu, it was

(59:15):
just stressful and overwhelming time.

Speaker 1 (59:17):
And I think having that as the sort of foundation
for her entry into the world made me anxious about everything,
not just parenting and all that, but but life in general.
And so I've had a few moments where I've had

(59:38):
flare ups I guess where I was stressed to a
degree that didn't feel comfortable.

Speaker 2 (59:44):
And I think a lot of parents can probably relate
to that. You know, it's a you.

Speaker 1 (59:51):
You're basically when you leave the hospital, they ask you,
are you ready to take your daughter home? It's like, well, yeah,
of course, I right, you know, but it's a crazy
question to be asked. You're like, I get yeah, I am,
I'm ready to take my daughter home. And that like

(01:00:14):
meant more than just that moment. It was like her
whole life suddenly. I'm like, I'm I'm I'm responsible for
you know, this person. So yeah, that's the positive that
I've taken is, as I mentioned that, the ability to
just be silly and care free and see the world
the way she does, and all these experiences are so amazing. Again,

(01:00:37):
things that can seem mundane as you get older, and
you just kind of you know, glass is clear? Why
is glass clear? It's one of the questions he asked me,
and it's like, it's so fascinating, question Why is how
find myself on Google? Like researching all this stuff that
I just sort of accepted, And now this person, this

(01:00:58):
little four year old person, like why And you get
to ask the questions yourself and why are people mean
It's like it's a great question, probably because they're hurting,
and it's just everything gets sort of it goes through
this new filter that is.

Speaker 2 (01:01:21):
Really exciting.

Speaker 3 (01:01:22):
It's amazing that both the things you said literally counter
opposites in that one part of you, of course has
anxiety and care and fear for this you know child
that you love and has gone through this you know,
very difficult beginning to her life, but has blossomed and
you know, grown so beautifully. And then at the other end,
it's like, oh, but I'm also more care free and
like now I get to explore and now I get

(01:01:43):
to be curious, and it's so fascinating how like life
does that to you, like I'm just sitting here literally
reflecting on and listening to you, going how strange, Like
the same thing that naturally you have a sense of
fear and anxiety around, there's the same thing that's teaching
you to be care free and people, And it's like,
how do I how does a human even you know,
make sense of that? How do you make sense of

(01:02:04):
that and the human experience it with your anxiety? Has
that been something that you've because that feels like more
new despite you having you know, such a life in
the public eye. We talked about all the events building
up to even this point, but I think, yeah, having
a kid and getting older feels like there's an anxiety
that parents get around that that's you know, incomparable to

(01:02:25):
anything they've experienced before. What's really helped you, what's worked
for you? As a way to say, this really helps
me when I'm experiencing those moments or phases.

Speaker 1 (01:02:34):
I think moving my body in some way always helps.
Getting physical, whether that's working out or taking a long walk,
playing golf. I really enjoy playing golf. But when I
was in New York this last year doing this Broadway show,
I had about a forty five minute walk from our
apartment to the theater each day, and it was so

(01:02:58):
important to my routine. The show itself is incredibly intense,
and you know, the subject material was just like heavy,
so I needed a way to process some of those
those feelings each each day.

Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
Then on top of that, it's just it's a lot
of work.

Speaker 1 (01:03:14):
Eight shows a week, six days a week, and so
there it's you know, it was a lot, and so
those walks were important. And then you know, speaking to
my my therapist, it's not even like there's practices per se,
but there's just I think real health in a routine and.

Speaker 2 (01:03:36):
Just talking.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
I used to judge myself and kind of doing that process,
like talking with therapists and like, am I being as
truthful as I need to be to get the results
I'm hoping to get? And I don't think that I
always was as transparent as I probably needed to be.

(01:03:57):
With this person that I speak to, it's great because
I do feel that that freedom, that's safety to speak
and like there's there's real balance and for for all
the men out there, it's important. There is a stigma
still for a lot of people, and there shouldn't be.

(01:04:18):
And you're going to see like incredible results in your
life if you do it.

Speaker 3 (01:04:23):
Yeah. Absolutely, And it takes a second to get honest
with someone. I mean, it's it's not you know, it's
it's hard to even sit with someone who's a stranger
and doesn't know anything about your life and really be honest,
especially someone like yourself who has such a public life
and you can garners so much. I mean, I was,
I was thinking about, like I saw your response to
everyone wondering what was happening at the Golden Globes and

(01:04:45):
you responded saying it hit you like a gut punch,
And I was like, what was that for you? What
was happening at the Golden Globes that you were going through?

Speaker 1 (01:04:52):
Yes, So I I was like the second time I
mentioned this on this conversation, but heat like really gets me.
And because I have a you know, sort of physical
aspect of that as well with my type one diabetes,
it can just have an effect, right, So I was,
I was just really hot on the carpet, and then

(01:05:13):
I started stressing that I looked like I was sweating,
my hands were getting clammy and holding breakers, like everything
kind of hit me at once. Then my sugar started
to feel or glucos started to feel a little low,
and so.

Speaker 2 (01:05:26):
I just took a step, went outside. I got some
fresh air.

Speaker 1 (01:05:29):
And you know, it's funny, like we're all the same, right,
Like we get overwhelmed, we get hot, It's like it's.

Speaker 2 (01:05:37):
A lot happening.

Speaker 1 (01:05:38):
And so I just was like, you know what, there's
no harm and just taking a beat for myself. That's
what I did. I had a sip of water and
was back in action.

Speaker 3 (01:05:46):
I'm glad you gave everyone else permission to do the same.

Speaker 2 (01:05:48):
Yeah, everyone, if you need a second, take a second.

Speaker 3 (01:05:51):
I'm so far away from this world. Overs I didn't
grow up in this world. And then when you know,
get onto a red carpet and you just realize, especially
for someone like yourself, Brianca's just like the amount of
people shouting your name, the amount of stops that you
have to do, how quickly everything moves, like you know,
TV interview, video interview, this that it's so chaotic those
red carpets, especially at those big events that I think

(01:06:13):
there's it's hard to understand why it would feel stressful
because it almost looks really glamorous in the pictures and
some degree it is, but yeah, but it isn't as well,
Like you.

Speaker 2 (01:06:23):
Know, it can be a lot.

Speaker 3 (01:06:24):
I think more often than not, people feel quite anxious
on red carpets from what I've heard, at least from
talking to people.

Speaker 1 (01:06:29):
Yeah, especially when it's like ninety five degrees. I think
it was a cold week in LA and they had
it tinted thinking it was going to be cold, and
it ended up being a really hard day.

Speaker 2 (01:06:39):
So it was just kind of cooking and it was.

Speaker 1 (01:06:41):
You know, the only positive from that was that it
was a really good conversation starter inside. Yeah, immediately it
could be like, oh hot was the carpet and I
just sort of broke the ice.

Speaker 3 (01:06:52):
That's so good. Yeah, Yeah, that definitely does help. Yeah,
that or if it's raining in LA, becomes a great
exactly very rare to happen to. Nick. It's been amazing
talking to you, and I really appreciate how honest you've been,
how you know, thoughtful you've been. Just I felt like
I've laughed with you, you know, you've you've brought us
all to really emotional moments of just like sitting with

(01:07:12):
you through the journey you've been on. And I feel
like as a man listening to someone who is speaking
so openly about therapy, about self work, about being a
loving father, husband. I think you're just setting a wonderful
example and also a human example. I think one that
is real and you know, isn't perfect and isn't coming
across as this is how to do it, but it's like,

(01:07:34):
this is the reality of everything I'm trying to juggle. Yeah,
and I think it's someone who I hope I get
to be a dad one day. It's like, it's nice
to see the you know, the thoughts that will probably
go through my head too, and the realities of what
it feels like when you're finally holding this human that
you love so deeply and get to experience the care free, curious,
but also the stress and the anxiety that comes with it.

(01:07:55):
So thank you for giving us all the layers.

Speaker 1 (01:07:57):
Of course, thank you for asking said thoughtful questions. And
you'll be an amazing father someday. So I hope that
for you, And you know, I certainly I'll be the
first to admit I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
I'm just trying to do my best, I guess, And

(01:08:18):
you know, my dad said a pretty incredible example and
all the sort of memories. There are things I'm trying
to take into and imply into my life now.

Speaker 2 (01:08:31):
So thanks for the conversation. This is great.

Speaker 3 (01:08:33):
I love it. Thank you so much. We created a
special ending for you. Seeing as your new single is
called gut Punch, We're going to play a game called
gut reaction. Okay, so you have to finish the sentence
with the first word or phrase that pops into your head.

Speaker 2 (01:08:49):
Perfect.

Speaker 3 (01:08:50):
What is the best advice you've ever received?

Speaker 2 (01:08:52):
Live like you're at the bottom, even if you're at
the top.

Speaker 3 (01:08:55):
That is a great answer. We've never had that before.
I love that, all right. Second question, what is the
worst advice you've ever heard or received?

Speaker 2 (01:09:03):
Take this tequila shot? Yeah, it's a good artist never
never a good idea.

Speaker 3 (01:09:11):
You're good at gut reactions. This is good. The brother
I call what I need to be brutally honest is.

Speaker 1 (01:09:19):
Joe, but all all three of my brothers, but you know, yeah,
prop Joe.

Speaker 3 (01:09:25):
Yeah. My guilty pleasure artist or song is.

Speaker 1 (01:09:28):
This is not a more more answer. I'm sorry, but
I don't believe in guilty pleasures. I think you should
be able to love whatever you love. There's good in everything.
I feel the same way about TV, but there are
shows that are just trash, which I love.

Speaker 3 (01:09:42):
So what is the artist or song that isn't a
guilty pleasure but you're allowed to love?

Speaker 2 (01:09:47):
Nickelback? It was great. I love the songs. They're fantastic.

Speaker 3 (01:09:52):
I love it. The thing I hate admitting Briance is
always right about is people.

Speaker 2 (01:09:57):
Oh wow, Yeah, she's always right people. Before I can
see it, I'm like, damn, just right again.

Speaker 3 (01:10:05):
Wow, that's that's a good skill to have.

Speaker 1 (01:10:07):
Negative either she's skeptical of people, but she has She's
really perceptive and.

Speaker 2 (01:10:12):
Listens, so you know it's yeah, Peter.

Speaker 3 (01:10:15):
I love that, all right. Fifth and final question we
asked this every guest who's ever been on the show.
If you could create one law that everyone in the
world had to follow, what would it be.

Speaker 2 (01:10:24):
I think teachers should get paid more.

Speaker 1 (01:10:27):
M hm.

Speaker 2 (01:10:28):
So yeah, let's make that a law.

Speaker 3 (01:10:29):
Yeah yeah, but we'll probably have the nick y you
nurses to those.

Speaker 2 (01:10:33):
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:10:34):
They're amazing people who are working super hard every day
making the country actually function.

Speaker 2 (01:10:41):
So true.

Speaker 3 (01:10:42):
Yeah, Nick Jonas so excited for Sunday Best and for
everyone listening to it. Thank you for being such a
joy to spend time with them. So grateful. Straight We've
got to do this, and I hope we get to
do it again. We've got to get you and Procle
back together at some point. That's that's my big goal.

Speaker 2 (01:10:56):
I would love that.

Speaker 3 (01:10:57):
Yeah, that'll be a lot of fun. Thank you man,
Thank you.

Speaker 4 (01:10:59):
If you love this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode
with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how
to speak to yourself with more compassion.

Speaker 2 (01:11:10):
My fears are only going to continue to show me
what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears,
the more that I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom,
and I just want to keep doing that.

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Jay Shetty

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