“I Didn’t Want Children… Then I Met Sgt. Damon Gutzwiller”

On this episode of Our American Stories, after Damon Gutzwiller of the Santa Cruz County Sheriff's Office was killed in the line of duty in California, his wife Favi stood before mourners while pregnant with their second child and shared the story of the man she loved. In this moving National Police Week eulogy, she remembers Damon not only as a sheriff’s sergeant, but as a devoted husband, loving father, caregiver to his mother, and the kindest man she had ever known.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
And we continue with our American stories and with our
storytelling for National Police Week, which honors those who paid
the ultimate sacrifice and gave their lives in the line
of duty. And today we honor Damon Gutsweller, a sergeant
with the Santa Cruz County Sheriff's Office. On June sixth,
twenty twenty, Sergeant Guttsweller responded to reports of a vehicle

(00:32):
that contained bomb making materials and guns and was shot
and killed by the suspect. And now we go to
his courageous widow, Faby and her eulogy to her husband
that was delivered only eleven days after he was killed,
and only weeks before she would give birth to their
second child.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
Have you ever tried describing something incredibly beautiful to someone
who has never seen it, using just your words to
decribe something so remarkably special to someone who has never
experienced it. Some things are too big, too beautiful to describe,
and a picture will never do it justice. That's how

(01:16):
it is with Damon. I wish you all had the
pleasure of knowing him. Instead, I can try to show
you a few pictures pieces of him, and hope you'll
understand that he was so much more than these few
short stories. On our first date, he brought ice cream

(01:39):
over to my house and we watched the movie three hundred,
You know, the one about the three hundred half naked,
greased up Spartan soldiers battling and invading an army of
three hundred thousand. Very romantic. On that first night, Damon
was very respectful, or maybe just scared. He sat on

(02:01):
the opposite side of the couch at least three feet
away from me the whole night. It's a little thing,
but it stays with me. As I quickly learned it
was part of who he was. He was always kind,
loving and respectful, never so much as raising his voice
at me. Never. If you know anything about me, you

(02:25):
know that was extremely difficult to ask. From the start.
He was always thinking about me, putting me first and
making sure that I was okay. He wasn't like anyone
I'd ever met before. Just a few weeks into our relationship,
I had a horrible night at work. A minnionatal icy

(02:48):
you nurse a baby had passed. I had worked sixteen
hours and was beyond emotionally and physically exhausted when I
got home. As I walked up to my door, I
saw a cooler. Inside was a note from Damon. He
told me that he knew I had a terrible night
at work, that he was thinking about me, and he
didn't want to bother. He also wanted to make sure

(03:08):
I had food when I got home and dinner for
that night before I returned to work, so he brought
me lunch and made me dinner and left it at
the door for me. We'd only known each other for weeks.
I didn't know that someone could really be that kind.
He was an only child raised by his mom, Vicki.

(03:29):
Vicki did a great job of raising this man. He
was who he was because of her, and just like
she took care of him when he was little, he
took care of her as she got older. As her
health has declined, he was by her side at every
doctor's appointment, driving her from San Francisco to Los Angeles. Lately,

(03:50):
she needed more care and he invited her to come
live with us. Damon taking on most of her needs
and care. I knew from the beginning of our relationship
he wanted to have children. When we met, we were
both in our early thirties and early on I told him,
I don't think I want to have kids. I think
I should tell you that because they don't want to
waste your time. He said that he didn't know what

(04:13):
the future would hold, and he'd like to get to
know me better. As they grew to know and love him.
I wanted to have children with him. I wanted to
have children because he would be their father. I would
want that for any child. I wanted it for me
and for the children. We would have it together. We

(04:34):
had Carter a little over two years ago. Damon was ecstatic.
You hear complaints about husbands not doing their share of
taking care of the kids. That was not a problem
with Damon. He was the one who would get up
early with Carter. I feed him breakfast, play with him
until I woke up. I'm about to have our second child,

(04:55):
and while I've been pregnant, Damon has been even more attentive,
sending me off to take naps and get rest every
day while he takes care of Carter. I knew he
would be a great father, and for a short time,
I was able to see he wasn't just a great father.
He was amazing. He was so good with Carter. They

(05:17):
ran around, sang songs, danced, played with legos, built puzzles,
dug in the dirt for hours, had tea parties. For
his birthday last month, Carter got a little scooter. Damon
got himself one too, and said, I just can't wait
to have father's son scooter rides. They were only able
to have one. There's a tradition in Wales that goes

(05:42):
back hundreds of years of carving a love spoon from
a single block of wood. A young man would carla
lovespoon and give it to a girl to express what
was in his heart. If she accepted it, it meant
she felt the same way. The spoon would have symbols
carved into it, each with a different meaning. I didn't

(06:03):
know any of this until Damon made me a love
spoon for Valentine's Day. Damon wrote me a note explaining
the meaning of the symbols he had carved. Here's some
of what he wrote. An anchor settled love, eternal devotion
and security, heart true love. The carver's heart belongs to

(06:29):
his love, his loved one. Keyhole security. I shall look
after you and protect you. Spade A promise to work
and provide for you. This is the man that I

(06:49):
am missing, who Carter is missing, and who are a
new baby will never meet the man our whole community
is missing. Or rather, these are just a few stories
of who he was. I hope you can imagine what
the whole man was like, what life with him was like.

(07:13):
I was there, I saw it, I lived it. It
was wonderful. When I look at our son, he reminds
me of Damon in many different ways, from his long eyelashes,
to his nose, to a silly personality and the goofy
grins he makes just like Damon used to. I can

(07:34):
only hope that our children will grow up to be
just like their father, kind, loving, compassionate, honest, hard working,
and all around wonderful people. I pray for the strength
to raise the amazing children he would have raised. I
want to say thank you from my heart all of

(07:55):
the people who have helped me our child and the
child about to arrive. Thank you to my family who
loved Damon so much and made sure he knew he
was a loved member of our family. Thank you to
my friends who have been with me at so many

(08:16):
of the best times of my life, and who are
with me now at the worst as true friends are.
Thank you to our community, the community that Damon loved
so much and died defending. Your outpouring of support and
love has been overwhelming. Thank you to the people across

(08:38):
the country, people I may never meet, who have offered
their support and love. And thank you to the Santa
Cruz County Sheriff's Office for everything they have done and
are doing and receiving so much love. I do feel
like Damon is here with me today. I think he's

(09:01):
here now, and I hope he always will be. I
know that I will carry him with me in my
heart and through our children forever. Thank you again, and.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
A special thanks to Alex Cortees for bringing us that story,
and a profound thanks to Fave Gutzwiller for sharing on
such short notice. I mean, talk about some courage to
get up there only weeks after. Really a murderer like this,
it's a murder, right when a suspect shoots a police
officer responding to a crime, That's what it is. Folks

(09:46):
killed in a line of duty. And as his bride
so well put it, the community Damon loved so much
and died defending. This is the man our whole community
is missing. His bride said killed in the line of
duty on June sixth, twenty twenty, responding to reports of

(10:07):
a vehicle that contained bomb making materials and guns, killed
by the suspect. All week long, we're honoring all of
the men and women who died in uniform, protecting and
defending all of our communities. National Police Week the story
of Sergeant Damon Gutzwiller, his bride's story, his children's story,

(10:30):
and in the end, Santa Cruz County story. Here on
our American Stories