May 12, 2025 • 17 mins
On this episode of Our American Stories, Karla Duerson shares what it was like to be pregnant with—and give birth to—her daughter Wylie.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
This is Lee h Habib, and this is our American
Stories and we tell stories about everything here on this show,
including your story. Send them to our American Stories dot com.
We love to tell listeners stories and this is the
only show in the country where America is the star,
with the American people of the star. By the way,
if you'd like to support all that we're doing here,
(00:31):
it is a five oh one c three a nonprofit,
and you can support us by going to our American
Stories dot com. Give a little, give a lot. It's
tax deductible. Do your part, and it can share what
we're doing with friends and with neighbors because there are
so few things we can share with each other that's content.
And now we have Carla Dowson on to share a
(00:52):
story with us, and she is a student of one
of our regular contributors, author Leslie Laylan Fields. Carla is
sharing with us the story of her daughter Wiley. Here
is Carla.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
How do I begin a story that seems to have
begun long before I was born? How can I go
back far enough to show how all the tributaries ran
along to cause this river that is my life? There
is not a way I can see now except to
begin somewhere and trust that those small streams will reveal
(01:32):
themselves even in the flow of mightier water. Kori at plexusysts,
kroiet plexus cysts. I turned these alien words over in
my mind and tried them in my mouth. Was I
saying it right? Gavin and I were in the subaru
and trying to decide if we could continue with our plan.
(01:56):
It says here that most of the time they just resolve.
They don't. I don't cause any harm, it seems. I
murmured these words to him as I scrolled through several
health articles describing these intruders found on our unborn baby's
brain in an anatomy scan. Should we still get the balloon?
(02:17):
Gavin wondered aloud. We should, I resolved. He pulled into
the dollar tree. He went in and gave the employee
the sealed envelope the sonographer had prepared for our gender
reveal surprise, and the box to hide either a blue
or pink balloon. In the meantime, I called my best
(02:38):
friend from the passenger seat in the parking lot, Elizabeth.
They found cysts on the baby's brain and maybe a
problem with the heart. I'm so sorry, she breathed. I
knew she was. There are no platitudes and cliches. Is
(03:00):
familiar with suffering. She is full of empathy and love.
We cried and prayed the rest of the short way home.
With the balloon in the box in the back of
the car, we stopped in the driveway. This would not
be the only time we would wonder how to face
(03:20):
our family of five children with news we did not understand,
let alone know how to bear. We took deep breaths
and went inside, knowing that in the midst of the
painful mystery of what had just happened, there was apparent joy.
We gathered in our living room and decided to video
(03:41):
the momentous occasion. Our eldest manchild hovered over his younger
brother and three younger sisters, who almost all thought the
balloon would be blue. The eldest sister decided to go
with pink. I'm going to say it's a girl, because
I want you to know, baby, that if you're a girl,
(04:02):
I believe in you. She announced this to the camera.
We sliced the box open, and we all gasped, laughed,
and marveled at the pink balloon that floated up to
the ceiling. It did seem to take the heaviness of
the what ifs off our shoulders. Everything felt lighter in
the wonder of our baby girl, Margaret Wiley. From the beginning,
(04:28):
she has been full of surprises. Her story barely feels
like it's mine too. Yet I was there. I remember
the nausea. I remember the faces in mind, comforting, supporting, helping.
I remember the room and the thoughts and the unfolding.
I was there. We were doing this together, this being born.
(04:54):
After the anatomy scan, with the Croyd plexus cysts on
the brain and the possible heart abdirm mind, we were
scheduled to see a high risk obstetrician. I was expecting
it to be nothing, something easily explained away. She is
just fine. I imagine the doctor saying, he said, nothing
(05:14):
of the kind. You see her heart here and does
not have a wall where one should be. I felt
like he was talking so fast, and my heart beat
joined his rapid cadence. He could see the cysts, but
their presence was more evidence for his final evaluation, not
necessarily a problem in themselves. I am quite certain that
(05:38):
your daughter has Down syndrome. My heart dropped. I asked
him to say it all again. Her growth, the cysts,
the heart defect, it all added up in his estimation
to a genetic disorder. Then came the offers of how
to move forward or not move forward with the pregnant
(06:00):
and see we can arrange for any or all of
it right here in the office. We asked for a
moment reeling. I dropped my legs off the side of
the exam table toward Gavin. We knew that advanced maternal
age carried risks, and we also knew that we did
not want to end this life that had begun. We
(06:23):
explained that conviction for the first of many times when
the doctor re entered the room. We also opted for
a blood test in which they could use a sample
of mind to find Wiley's genetic information. It was not
diagnostic like an amniocentesis would be, but for the time being,
it felt safer to us. We did not realize that safety,
(06:47):
as we knew it would no longer be an option anymore.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
And you're listening to Carla Doerson, and you're hearing her
tell the story of her pregnancy in the new that
she learned well that no parent wants to hear that
her daughter was going to be born almost for sure
with Down syndrome. When we come back, more of Karla
Dowson's story here on our American Stories. Folks, if you
(07:30):
love the great American stories we tell and love America
like we do, we're asking you to become a part
of the Our American Stories family. If you agree that
America is a good and great country, please make a donation.
A monthly gift of seventeen dollars and seventy six cents
is fast becoming a favorite option for supporters. Go to
our American Stories dot com now and go to the
(07:51):
donate button and help us keep the great American stories coming.
That's our American Stories dot com. And we continue with
our American Stories, and we've been listening to Carla Doerson
(08:14):
share the story of her daughter Wiley. While pregnant with
her Carla and her husband Gavin found out that there
were cysts on Wiley's brain and holes in her heart,
all signs of Down syndrome. We return to Carla.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
The next step was to have a heart scan with
a pediatric cardiologist. What other questions do you have? He asked,
So if you repair her heart, she could run around
and play ball. Absolutely, we can repair children's hearts and
they can have the potential to live a happy, normal life.
(08:57):
This amazing doctor, with the assistance of skilled sonographers, examined
our little Wiley's tiny heart and found that she had
a large hole between her ventricles, a small one between
the chambers of her atrium, and a very leaky valve.
He spoke clearly and candidly about human limits. We did
(09:19):
not yet know what her genetic condition might be, but
looking at her heart, he conjectured that she could be
born at our local children's hospital and would not need
emergency surgery for her heart. We left the appointment marveling
at the technology and knowledge that could assist the tiniest
of people. On a Tuesday morning following I answered the
(09:43):
call from the high risk obstetrician. I'm sorry to tell
you that the test has different results than expected. I
thought it was tryst to be twenty one, but the
test came back with a strong likelihood of tryst to
me eighteen frozen. I knew I knew what that meant.
(10:05):
In researching kroud plexusysts, I had come across information about
tryso me eighteen Edward syndrome the next most common after
trysomy twenty one down syndrome, and Edward's prognosis is incredibly bleak.
Most people choose not to continue the pregnancy. Of those
(10:27):
that do continue, only fifty percent are born living. Of
those who do live, ninety to ninety five percent pass
away before their first birthdays. I thought our baby was
going to have the love chromosome, not the death chromosome.
I grieved and we prayed. Wiley tipped her cards a
(10:50):
few times. She shot up a clenched fist in an ultrasound,
which is a common trysome eighteen trait. She grew, but
very slowly, another telltale sign her brain was abnormal. Other
moms on this journey described the same experience. I had
the strangeness of carrying a bustling, busy baby on the
(11:14):
inside who has given almost zero chance of making it
on the outside. The day came when our doctor told
us it was time for new cuisine and fresh air.
The placenta, also affected by the genetic disorder, was not
serving her well anymore. For the first time in my
experience of motherhood, I chose between a Monday and Tuesday
(11:37):
for an induction. The struggle was real. Preparing for her birth,
I could feel the temptation to pull away from my daughter.
The idea of having to let her go was so painful.
I wanted to protect my heart. I prepared myself for
the worst in hopes of getting over the loss more quickly.
(12:00):
But in the midst of this emotional removal, a friend
reminded me that Wiley needed me. Like many other times
in which something felt impossible, forgiveness, letting go, choosing mercy
over judgment, I felt God helping me open my heart
(12:20):
all the way to my precious girl. I realized either way,
whether alive on earth or in heaven, I would still
have the chance to hold her. This encounter became my
new focus. I knew I would never receive a gift
of which I was more afraid. On the scheduled day,
(12:42):
Wiley was born, but not into my arms. She was
born into the hands of doctors who pulled her from
my body and onto tiny beds with machines. As Gavin
and I held Haines, we didn't know if she was
coming or leaving. Goodbye was easier to imagine than Hello.
(13:09):
Yet Gavin went to her, held her body and announced,
she is breathing. Car She's breathing. I reeled and it
began receiving Wiley. A few long hours later, on May eighth,
(13:33):
she was placed into my arms. I did not know
how to hold her. She had tubes and cords and
leads springing from her. In my disbelief, I cradled my
daughter gently. She was born weighing four pounds and eight ounces.
I trembled beneath her weight. She was like the break
(13:58):
of day. A constant prayer flowed silently from my heart.
How Lord, how do I hold her? With her tiny
body and her determination, Wiley brought with her a deep
sense of the present. I dared not leave it. Along
(14:19):
with that, she attracted hands. So many hands, family, friends, nurses, technicians, doctors,
social workers, dietitians, volunteers, clerks, neighbors, therapists, so many people
to hold us. We would have fallen, Gavin, Wiley, our
(14:44):
other children, me, We would have crumbled if it weren't
for the grip of people who carried our burdens and
met our needs through those hands and prayers. Wiley endured
three holes in her lungs, an open heart surgery, arrhythmias,
(15:05):
a parcardial effusion, pulmonary hypertension, seizures, RSV, and numerous infections
with intubations. We wondered more than once if she was
leaving this world. On one occasion, I looked upon my
daughter with such sorrow and cried out to God to
(15:26):
know how to endure, witnessing her suffering, but slowly she
was gaining with gray awe, I witnessed my daughter choosing us,
choosing to stay. Now these days we gather what she
has sown. She is thriving, She is still the gift
(15:47):
that inspires me. She still attracts a crowd of helpers
and admirers. She still takes her breath, but in a
whole different way. Tries to be eighteen has become a
welcome death sentence. We are glad that our small, comfortable
life has died. We were glad to put to death
(16:11):
selfishness in our family. Wiley's tries to me eighteen diagnosis
has been a death to living with a false sense
of control and misplaced trust. Receiving her just as she
is has been a gift of a new kind of
life with God and an amazing time of living with
(16:33):
her in the here and now. In light of time's uncertainty,
Heaven and eternity have never seemed sweeter or more real.
I have a song for her. I change the words
to Adelweiss and sing them over her. The Adelweiss flower
(16:53):
grows in the high altitude of the Alps and is
a symbol for bravery, courage, and love. How fitting for
our mighty warrior. Wiley Girl, Wiley Girl. Every morning you
greet me soft and light, sweet and bright, you look
(17:16):
happy to meet me. Blossoms of love. Will you bloom
and grow, Bloom and grow forever? Wiley Girl, Wiley Girl,
Bless my daughter forever.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
And a special thanks to Carla Dowson for sharing her story.
The story of Carla Dowson and her husband and her
baby girl Wiley here on our American Stories
This is Lee h Habib, and this is our American
Stories and we tell stories about everything here on this show,
including your story. Send them to our American Stories dot com.
We love to tell listeners stories and this is the
only show in the country where America is the star,
with the American people of the star. By the way,
if you'd like to support all that we're doing here,
(00:31):
it is a five oh one c three a nonprofit,
and you can support us by going to our American
Stories dot com. Give a little, give a lot. It's
tax deductible. Do your part, and it can share what
we're doing with friends and with neighbors because there are
so few things we can share with each other that's content.
And now we have Carla Dowson on to share a
(00:52):
story with us, and she is a student of one
of our regular contributors, author Leslie Laylan Fields. Carla is
sharing with us the story of her daughter Wiley. Here
is Carla.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
How do I begin a story that seems to have
begun long before I was born? How can I go
back far enough to show how all the tributaries ran
along to cause this river that is my life? There
is not a way I can see now except to
begin somewhere and trust that those small streams will reveal
(01:32):
themselves even in the flow of mightier water. Kori at plexusysts,
kroiet plexus cysts. I turned these alien words over in
my mind and tried them in my mouth. Was I
saying it right? Gavin and I were in the subaru
and trying to decide if we could continue with our plan.
(01:56):
It says here that most of the time they just resolve.
They don't. I don't cause any harm, it seems. I
murmured these words to him as I scrolled through several
health articles describing these intruders found on our unborn baby's
brain in an anatomy scan. Should we still get the balloon?
(02:17):
Gavin wondered aloud. We should, I resolved. He pulled into
the dollar tree. He went in and gave the employee
the sealed envelope the sonographer had prepared for our gender
reveal surprise, and the box to hide either a blue
or pink balloon. In the meantime, I called my best
(02:38):
friend from the passenger seat in the parking lot, Elizabeth.
They found cysts on the baby's brain and maybe a
problem with the heart. I'm so sorry, she breathed. I
knew she was. There are no platitudes and cliches. Is
(03:00):
familiar with suffering. She is full of empathy and love.
We cried and prayed the rest of the short way home.
With the balloon in the box in the back of
the car, we stopped in the driveway. This would not
be the only time we would wonder how to face
(03:20):
our family of five children with news we did not understand,
let alone know how to bear. We took deep breaths
and went inside, knowing that in the midst of the
painful mystery of what had just happened, there was apparent joy.
We gathered in our living room and decided to video
(03:41):
the momentous occasion. Our eldest manchild hovered over his younger
brother and three younger sisters, who almost all thought the
balloon would be blue. The eldest sister decided to go
with pink. I'm going to say it's a girl, because
I want you to know, baby, that if you're a girl,
(04:02):
I believe in you. She announced this to the camera.
We sliced the box open, and we all gasped, laughed,
and marveled at the pink balloon that floated up to
the ceiling. It did seem to take the heaviness of
the what ifs off our shoulders. Everything felt lighter in
the wonder of our baby girl, Margaret Wiley. From the beginning,
(04:28):
she has been full of surprises. Her story barely feels
like it's mine too. Yet I was there. I remember
the nausea. I remember the faces in mind, comforting, supporting, helping.
I remember the room and the thoughts and the unfolding.
I was there. We were doing this together, this being born.
(04:54):
After the anatomy scan, with the Croyd plexus cysts on
the brain and the possible heart abdirm mind, we were
scheduled to see a high risk obstetrician. I was expecting
it to be nothing, something easily explained away. She is
just fine. I imagine the doctor saying, he said, nothing
(05:14):
of the kind. You see her heart here and does
not have a wall where one should be. I felt
like he was talking so fast, and my heart beat
joined his rapid cadence. He could see the cysts, but
their presence was more evidence for his final evaluation, not
necessarily a problem in themselves. I am quite certain that
(05:38):
your daughter has Down syndrome. My heart dropped. I asked
him to say it all again. Her growth, the cysts,
the heart defect, it all added up in his estimation
to a genetic disorder. Then came the offers of how
to move forward or not move forward with the pregnant
(06:00):
and see we can arrange for any or all of
it right here in the office. We asked for a
moment reeling. I dropped my legs off the side of
the exam table toward Gavin. We knew that advanced maternal
age carried risks, and we also knew that we did
not want to end this life that had begun. We
(06:23):
explained that conviction for the first of many times when
the doctor re entered the room. We also opted for
a blood test in which they could use a sample
of mind to find Wiley's genetic information. It was not
diagnostic like an amniocentesis would be, but for the time being,
it felt safer to us. We did not realize that safety,
(06:47):
as we knew it would no longer be an option anymore.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
And you're listening to Carla Doerson, and you're hearing her
tell the story of her pregnancy in the new that
she learned well that no parent wants to hear that
her daughter was going to be born almost for sure
with Down syndrome. When we come back, more of Karla
Dowson's story here on our American Stories. Folks, if you
(07:30):
love the great American stories we tell and love America
like we do, we're asking you to become a part
of the Our American Stories family. If you agree that
America is a good and great country, please make a donation.
A monthly gift of seventeen dollars and seventy six cents
is fast becoming a favorite option for supporters. Go to
our American Stories dot com now and go to the
(07:51):
donate button and help us keep the great American stories coming.
That's our American Stories dot com. And we continue with
our American Stories, and we've been listening to Carla Doerson
(08:14):
share the story of her daughter Wiley. While pregnant with
her Carla and her husband Gavin found out that there
were cysts on Wiley's brain and holes in her heart,
all signs of Down syndrome. We return to Carla.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
The next step was to have a heart scan with
a pediatric cardiologist. What other questions do you have? He asked,
So if you repair her heart, she could run around
and play ball. Absolutely, we can repair children's hearts and
they can have the potential to live a happy, normal life.
(08:57):
This amazing doctor, with the assistance of skilled sonographers, examined
our little Wiley's tiny heart and found that she had
a large hole between her ventricles, a small one between
the chambers of her atrium, and a very leaky valve.
He spoke clearly and candidly about human limits. We did
(09:19):
not yet know what her genetic condition might be, but
looking at her heart, he conjectured that she could be
born at our local children's hospital and would not need
emergency surgery for her heart. We left the appointment marveling
at the technology and knowledge that could assist the tiniest
of people. On a Tuesday morning following I answered the
(09:43):
call from the high risk obstetrician. I'm sorry to tell
you that the test has different results than expected. I
thought it was tryst to be twenty one, but the
test came back with a strong likelihood of tryst to
me eighteen frozen. I knew I knew what that meant.
(10:05):
In researching kroud plexusysts, I had come across information about
tryso me eighteen Edward syndrome the next most common after
trysomy twenty one down syndrome, and Edward's prognosis is incredibly bleak.
Most people choose not to continue the pregnancy. Of those
(10:27):
that do continue, only fifty percent are born living. Of
those who do live, ninety to ninety five percent pass
away before their first birthdays. I thought our baby was
going to have the love chromosome, not the death chromosome.
I grieved and we prayed. Wiley tipped her cards a
(10:50):
few times. She shot up a clenched fist in an ultrasound,
which is a common trysome eighteen trait. She grew, but
very slowly, another telltale sign her brain was abnormal. Other
moms on this journey described the same experience. I had
the strangeness of carrying a bustling, busy baby on the
(11:14):
inside who has given almost zero chance of making it
on the outside. The day came when our doctor told
us it was time for new cuisine and fresh air.
The placenta, also affected by the genetic disorder, was not
serving her well anymore. For the first time in my
experience of motherhood, I chose between a Monday and Tuesday
(11:37):
for an induction. The struggle was real. Preparing for her birth,
I could feel the temptation to pull away from my daughter.
The idea of having to let her go was so painful.
I wanted to protect my heart. I prepared myself for
the worst in hopes of getting over the loss more quickly.
(12:00):
But in the midst of this emotional removal, a friend
reminded me that Wiley needed me. Like many other times
in which something felt impossible, forgiveness, letting go, choosing mercy
over judgment, I felt God helping me open my heart
(12:20):
all the way to my precious girl. I realized either way,
whether alive on earth or in heaven, I would still
have the chance to hold her. This encounter became my
new focus. I knew I would never receive a gift
of which I was more afraid. On the scheduled day,
(12:42):
Wiley was born, but not into my arms. She was
born into the hands of doctors who pulled her from
my body and onto tiny beds with machines. As Gavin
and I held Haines, we didn't know if she was
coming or leaving. Goodbye was easier to imagine than Hello.
(13:09):
Yet Gavin went to her, held her body and announced,
she is breathing. Car She's breathing. I reeled and it
began receiving Wiley. A few long hours later, on May eighth,
(13:33):
she was placed into my arms. I did not know
how to hold her. She had tubes and cords and
leads springing from her. In my disbelief, I cradled my
daughter gently. She was born weighing four pounds and eight ounces.
I trembled beneath her weight. She was like the break
(13:58):
of day. A constant prayer flowed silently from my heart.
How Lord, how do I hold her? With her tiny
body and her determination, Wiley brought with her a deep
sense of the present. I dared not leave it. Along
(14:19):
with that, she attracted hands. So many hands, family, friends, nurses, technicians, doctors,
social workers, dietitians, volunteers, clerks, neighbors, therapists, so many people
to hold us. We would have fallen, Gavin, Wiley, our
(14:44):
other children, me, We would have crumbled if it weren't
for the grip of people who carried our burdens and
met our needs through those hands and prayers. Wiley endured
three holes in her lungs, an open heart surgery, arrhythmias,
(15:05):
a parcardial effusion, pulmonary hypertension, seizures, RSV, and numerous infections
with intubations. We wondered more than once if she was
leaving this world. On one occasion, I looked upon my
daughter with such sorrow and cried out to God to
(15:26):
know how to endure, witnessing her suffering, but slowly she
was gaining with gray awe, I witnessed my daughter choosing us,
choosing to stay. Now these days we gather what she
has sown. She is thriving, She is still the gift
(15:47):
that inspires me. She still attracts a crowd of helpers
and admirers. She still takes her breath, but in a
whole different way. Tries to be eighteen has become a
welcome death sentence. We are glad that our small, comfortable
life has died. We were glad to put to death
(16:11):
selfishness in our family. Wiley's tries to me eighteen diagnosis
has been a death to living with a false sense
of control and misplaced trust. Receiving her just as she
is has been a gift of a new kind of
life with God and an amazing time of living with
(16:33):
her in the here and now. In light of time's uncertainty,
Heaven and eternity have never seemed sweeter or more real.
I have a song for her. I change the words
to Adelweiss and sing them over her. The Adelweiss flower
(16:53):
grows in the high altitude of the Alps and is
a symbol for bravery, courage, and love. How fitting for
our mighty warrior. Wiley Girl, Wiley Girl. Every morning you
greet me soft and light, sweet and bright, you look
(17:16):
happy to meet me. Blossoms of love. Will you bloom
and grow, Bloom and grow forever? Wiley Girl, Wiley Girl,
Bless my daughter forever.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
And a special thanks to Carla Dowson for sharing her story.
The story of Carla Dowson and her husband and her
baby girl Wiley here on our American Stories
Host
Lee Habeeb
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