September 8, 2026 • 30 mins
On this episode of Our American Stories, at 11 years old, Victoria Arlen's body began shutting down. Eventually, she lost the ability to move or communicate and spent nearly four years in a vegetative state while doctors told her family she would never recover. What they didn't know was that Victoria was still there. She could hear them, understand them, and remember everything. Then one day, she blinked twice for her mother and proved she had been there all along.
Victoria would go on to win Paralympic gold, become a world record holder and broadcaster, learn to walk after a decade in a wheelchair, and compete on Dancing with the Stars. But behind those extraordinary accomplishments, she was still carrying years of unaddressed trauma. Victoria, author of The View Is Worth It, shares how a devastating breaking point forced her to confront her past, rediscover her faith, find forgiveness, and turn her pain into a purpose of helping others.
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
This is Lee Habib and this is Our American Stories.
As a child, a devastating illness left Victoria Arlen trapped
inside her own body for years. Doctors believed she would
never recover and no one knew Victoria herself was still
in there, listening, thinking, and hoping. That same little girl
(00:31):
would go on to become a gold medalist, a world
record holder, and even a semifinalist on Dancing with the Stars.
Here's Victoria Arlen with her story.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Life was great.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
I mean, life was, I know the word normal is
such an elusive thing, but it really was.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
I mean, I had the most incredible childhood.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I have an awesome family, and I'm one of triplets,
so there was never a dull moment.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
It was great.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
I mean, I was the kid that never got sick,
never had any health challenges or anything.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
So I had high hopes for what I wanted to
be and what I wanted to do. And I was
the only girl of four.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
So it was all about, you know, just keeping up
with my brothers and sports were definitely a huge part
of my life. I was just a very energetic human.
I loved just being outside.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I loved playing.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
I loved, I loved like training and working towards something.
Cause I was the type of kid I would wake
up and just go. And then my mom would be
trying to put us all to bed. And I was like, well,
we got to do all these things. And she goes, well,
we'll do them tomorrow. So just always on the move
type of kid with way bigger goals than a normal,
you know, at five, I was telling my mom I
was going to be a gold medalist.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
And she's like, okay, like an Olympian.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
And I also come from a family that they're, if
you have a big dream, they're like, go for it,
work hard at it.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
So yeah, That was me.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
I mean, I was a very overachieving, hyperactive kid, but
then it all kind of changed.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I started every other week just getting different things. I
would get the flu. I got pneumonia. I developed asthma.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
It was like my immune system just can't seem to
keep up or have any fight in it because it
was every other week something was happening.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
And then they were just watching all my fine motor
skills start to go.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
And I'm pretty stubborn, so I don't like to be
told I can't do something or if I can't do it,
I try to figure it out. So they were watching
me try to hold myself up. They were watching me
try to grab something. And it was basically like someone
was just shutting the switches off. Being the age I
was at, there was more assumptions than not that I
was doing it for attention. So the top children's hospital
(02:40):
in Boston just told my parents I need to go
see a psychologist.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
My mom was like, you can't.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
How? How is she doing this for attention? She's asking
me when she can go back to school. She's asking
me if she'll make it in time for her dance recital.
Like I was asking all the time. And also my
mom's like, I'm not here to try to tell you
my kid is perfect. But she's like, she's a very
secure kid. She's been as she has known her place
in this world since she was five years old. When
(03:08):
a hospital like that labels you a psychiatric patient, that's,
I guess, apparently a title that puts like a target
on your back to not getting treatment or respect or
even doctors taking you seriously. My mom's like, her foot
is dragging. She has no reflexes left in her legs.
Like there is, this is not normal. And also, how
does a child fake this? All the fine motor skills
(03:31):
started to go down. And my mom was going to
these doctors and saying, learn from her. Like something is wrong.
And they doubled down on trying to snap me out
of it and berate me.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
And I think abuse is a tame word. They pretty
much just torture me.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
I won't get into too much specifics just because I
don't want to traumatize your listeners. But they were just
trying to convince my parents I was crazy. And they
tricked my parents and told my parents, you can't take
her home. Cause I was at that point, I was like,
it was failure to thrive. Like you couldn't swallow anymore. You,
(04:12):
we couldn't, we didn't have a way to give you nourishment.
And so they basically said, well, you can't take her home,
but we have this special care facility that would give
her rehab and pain management.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
And you know, she, we can get her better. So
my parents were desperate. They were like, okay.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
And you know, my mom said it was the one
time she didn't listen to her gut and didn't listen
to God yelling. No. It was actually an unmarked psych
ward that they essentially tricked my parents into locking me in.
And as soon as they closed the door is when
for 10 straight days, I was tortured day and night
with them trying to snap me out of it. And
(04:53):
by snapping me out of it, they thought that just
absolute physical and emotional torture would suffice. It's scary enough
to be like, I can't feel my feet anymore and
I can't get out of bed. And then no one's
believing me. And I'm a kid, so I don't know
any better. But my nerves were dying off. My brain
was swelling. My spine was being obliterated. And that was
(05:17):
the first time.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I thought about suicide.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I kept trying to see if there was a window
I could jump out of.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
And I couldn't move at the time.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
And I remember I was in this room and there
was bolted down windows and there was a back alley.
And I just remember thinking, if I can just jump,
it's going to be way better than what I'm dealing
with 20 hours a day, if not more. And it
was scary enough that my body was shutting down. But
what was even scarier was the fact that I was
(05:46):
being tortured.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
And I couldn't defend myself. And how.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
I didn't know humans could be so cruel. I didn't
know doctors and nurses that are meant to help you
or a facility that's supposed to be the best in
the world could be hell on earth. My heart had
just been completely shattered and my innocence completely taken away
from me. By the time my mom got to me,
(06:14):
I was about 60 pounds, maybe.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
Less, and I was a My mom was like, you
were seizing because your body was in such distress.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
And my family rescued me, so they had to get
lawyers involved. They basically tricked the hospital that I was
being transferred.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
And she's like, so we rescued you. And she goes,
I never had seen a corpse before. And she goes,
when we walked into the room, when we could finally
get to you, you were just this corpse. During that time,
they essentially accelerated the process of my brain and spine
just absolutely collapsing.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Being catastrophic destruction happening.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
And so in April of 2006, I was 11.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
I woke up with a really bad.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Pain on my right side and my life was never
the same. My mom was like, the last thing you
said was your head was being crushed, your head was
being crushed, which we learned was my brain was swelling.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
I was screaming.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
My mom was like, you were visibly shaking. And we
were rushing to the hospital. And then by the time
we got there, the life just left your eyes.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
You were gone.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
You know when you talk in your head, you sound
like you.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
So I thought I was talking.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
I was a little out of it. And I'm laying there,
and I'm thinking, I'm talking. I'm like, why can't I move?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Why do I feel so stuck? Where is everyone? Why
is no one? I'm asking, like, what's going on? And
then I.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Realized very quickly that they didn't know I was there.
I was in this locked-in state. So it's a vegetative state.
So the doctors thought I couldn't hear, couldn't see, wasn't there. Like,
they were literally telling my parents, people don't survive this.
If they do, she's not coming back the way you
think she is or even remotely close to who she
once was. So they were like, either plan a funeral
(08:09):
or put her away. My family's like, no, we are,
whatever time we have with her, we're going to give
her a beautiful life.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
And they didn't even realize that I was aware the
whole time.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
So for four years, I'm fighting a very hard and
long fight, but it was those moments where it was
just kind of realizing like, I can't at least, you know,
go down without a fight. And I watched my family
not give up. And so I was like, who am
I to give up? I mean, plenty of the doctors
were saying, you know, this kid's a goner, but my
family didn't believe that. So as long as they were
(08:42):
believing and fighting for me, I could keep fighting too.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
And even listening to Victoria Arlen tell her own story.
One of three triplets, she never got sick in her
early life. Energetic would be the word she described best,
and competitive. As she said, she woke up ready to go.
And then suddenly her immune system is challenged. Her motor
skills start to wane. She felt like someone was, quote,
(09:07):
shutting the switches off. The hospital, well, they came to
the conclusion it was all in her head. The next
thing you know, it's the psych ward and then worse.
It was unimaginable that doctors could treat her as she
was being treated. And it was that rare time her
mom didn't listen to her gut. When she finally came
in to intervene, her daughter was a corpse, 60 pounds,
(09:30):
11 years old. Their hope gave her hope. They're fighting.
gave her the fight. When we come back, more of
the story of Victoria Arlen, here on Our American Stories.
(10:09):
And we continue with our American stories and Victoria Arlen's story.
When we last left off, she'd just fallen into a
vegetative state after suffering severe brain swelling. But what no
one else knew, 11-year-old Victoria was still fully alert and
aware of everything happening around her. Let's return to the story.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
It was a lot. It was heavy.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
I mean, I know we say tomorrow isn't guaranteed, but
my tomorrow was almost guaranteed to not come.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
So I think every day I woke up, I was
just like, still here, you know, and for me, it
became a game. So as a kid, you know, it
became a game of the goner still here.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
I had this one moment where, you know, my nose itched,
and I realized I couldn't scratch my nose. And then
I very quickly was like, I could go down this
path of all the things that I can't do. Or
I can get excited for the day I get to
scratch my nose. And I started looking at the world
like that, that every day I woke up, as bad
as it was, as hard as it was, I'm still here.
(11:13):
I've got a family that loves me. You know, my
mom's painted my nails. And what was crazy is my
mom started her.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Day that way, too.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
She would literally wake up and declare her thanks to
God for a home, for a hospital, for a bed,
for the fact that she can take care of me.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
We have running water. My mom's like, sometimes it was
just the.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Fact that we had a roof over our head. So
her gratitude was then reflecting my gratitude. So we were
both doing the same thing, just obviously weren't communicating with it.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
But it was heavy. I mean, it was really hard.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
I think day in and day out, you know, for me,
it was trying to fight another day to, you know,
be able to tell my family I love them. And
for her, it was my mom was just trying to
fight to, you know, keep me alive and find answers
or find help.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
But for doctors, I mean, they just were, I mean.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
I can't tell you how many doctors behind my parents
back would say things along the lines, including this direct quote.
Can you believe this kid's parents think that she's going
to make it? We all know this kid's a goner.
I mean, I'll be honest with you. There weren't a
lot of I think there was moments where I was
trying to have hope. But I think there were so
many times where circumstances, people were.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Essentially canceling that out.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
So many people were trying to discount, you know, what
God would be capable of. My mom, she's like, we
had hope for so long and believed that you were there,
but we didn't know for sure. And so for those
four years, I mean, I think initially I had a
lot of optimism and hope. And I was like, all right,
I have this obituary, but I'm going to write my
(12:49):
bucket list too. My like, if I survive list. Closing
in on the four-year mark, it got really hard too
because there was several moments where things were happening and
going on and abuse was occurring that I couldn't say anything.
And I think that's when I was really trying to
fight even to just be seen. And I always say
(13:12):
it's like your darkest moments come before the sunrise and
before the sun shines. And my darkest moment came where
a nurse was choking me.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
She had her hands around my neck. It was the
middle of the night.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
And she was trying to just basically, you know, in
her words, make it happen quicker.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
And she's choking me.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
And I think in that moment, it really hit me
of how helpless I really am and how I can't
even fight back. I, this is how I'm going. Like
this is, this is a crazy, you know, end to it.
And then in the very last minute, as I was
losing consciousness, she let go and ran out the room.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
I was, uh, I was gasping for air. I was,
I was confused.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
I was ready to just, you know, okay, fine, let's
end this. But then in that moment, I was like,
enough is enough. And that's when I made a promise
with God. And I was like, I can't do this anymore.
So if you need me, take me.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
And if you don't, just please give me back my life.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Give me back my voice. Give me another chance to
make a difference in this world. And if you do
give me back my voice, I won't waste a single moment.
There was such a peace that came over me after
I prayed that prayer. And I could just, I was
aware that I wasn't alone anymore.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
You know, the.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Bible talks about the peace that surpasses understanding. And I
can't tell you how peaceful despite the chaos I was
in that state. And that couldn't be from anyone else
other than God's love and God looking out for me.
And then he just kept showing up like the way
God kept showing up in our, our life, in my
family's life, in the people and the prayers. And, um,
(15:04):
My mom, you know, she's like, since you were a
little girl, I've always been able to tell you these
big brown eyes.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
I've always been able to tell what you were thinking.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
And for four years I kept searching and I kept
searching for her and I kept believing. And then I
get the ability to blink. In that moment, she saw
me and she saw me tracking her. And she walks
up to me and what's so fascinating is before she
asked me, you know, if I could hear her blink twice,
she hesitated. And I asked her later on, you know,
(15:33):
why did you hesitate? And she says, because sometimes it's
scary to have hope. And faith is really a lot
about what you can't see, but what you have to believe.
And sometimes it's scary. when you're on the verge of
that cliff and you're about to take that leap. And,
and she's like, and I had to remember that God
would either have a net for me or wings to
(15:53):
catch me. And so she, then she asks me and
she just, you know, she's like, I just decided.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
If not now, when?
Speaker 3 (15:59):
And so she said, if you can hear me blink twice.
Right away, my mom called my dad and said, she's here.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
She's been here this whole time.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
And, and then my brothers were thrilled and My brothers
are like the coolest people because you hear these stories
when one child gets sick all the other ones act
out and they didn't. They just stepped up and they
just met me where I was through every phase. Even
when I was in my vegetative state, I used to
tuck my socks in when I went to bed at night.
(16:32):
And I used to have a very specific, you know,
blanket here, stuffed animal here. And every night the boys
would come in with my mom and like tuck me
in and make sure that blankie was here, you know,
stuffy was here. And then William always tucked my socks
in to the point where He would call my mom
when we were in the hospital and be like, did
you tuck her socks in?
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Make sure her socks are tucked in.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
And so when I was recovering and when I was
coming out of it, they just found ways to communicate
with me. Okay, let's get her a communication board. Okay,
she has one finger working. Let's see if she can
flip someone off. It was just very much, they just
met me where I was. And then when I was
trying to figure out to hold my head up, they
would help me with that.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
My whole family just.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
Rallied and said, we're just happy you're here. let alone
what you can or can't do. Like, we'll figure it out.
And then after that, my mom started asking me all
these yes to no questions. Have you been here? And
then she's like, are they treating you okay? Because she
had some suspicions. And then I answered, no, they weren't
treating me right. And so she then started speaking back
(17:33):
and saying, no, I don't need to leave her. I
can stay with her 24-7. And from there, it was
learning how to talk, learning how to sit up, learning
how to hold my head up, learning how to just
function in a wheelchair and But then just it like
life went on.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
Right.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
And so I'm still trying to figure out how to
navigate high school when I didn't even go to middle school.
And so it just became this crazy roller coaster ride
that I don't think I was properly strapped in for. And,
you know, I'm given this hero cape of this miraculous
story and I didn't know anything. where I fit in
(18:09):
and then all of a sudden I had to go
be this hero to everyone I had to achieve the
next thing and the next thing and the next thing
and the world has gone on for four years you're
not I wasn't the same person you know medically or
physically I was in a wheelchair but also psychologically I
had just gone through four years of so much trauma
that how do I live this normal life I had
(18:32):
prepared to die for four years I hadn't prepared to.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Live And you've been listening to Victoria Arlen. She had
to flip the script in her head to keep herself
going and search for things to be grateful for. That
line that really hit me, the goner is still here.
She joked about herself and to herself. And there was
the mom with that same gratitude. She's still here. I
(18:56):
can still paint her nails looking for those little pieces
of gratitude to get through the day and get past
the hard stuff. And then that line, can you believe
these kids' parents think shall make it? What a thing
to hear from the doctors who you think are taking
care of you. When we come back, the story of
Victoria Arlen continues here on Our American Stories. And we
(19:38):
continue with our American stories and to Victoria Arlen's story.
After four years trapped inside her own body, Victoria had
done what doctors thought was impossible. She'd come.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
Back.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
But coming back also meant stepping into a world that
had moved on without her. What came next would take
her to places she never could have imagined. Here again
is Victoria with the rest of her story.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
Coming out of it was such a weird culture shock
on many levels, right? Like Facebook existed, Justin Bieber existed.
I mean, don't even get me started on touchscreen. So
it was, there was a culture shock, but there was
also just this, I don't know where I stand. I
don't know where my place is. I wasn't allowed to
(20:24):
fall apart because all of a sudden I had to
play catch up and I had to go be, I
had to go prove the doctors wrong. And I had
to go, you know, they said, I'd never be a
functioning member of society.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Well, I'll show you.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
And so in the midst of playing catch up, I
actually just didn't know how to stop and didn't know how.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
To actually go, wait, am I okay?
Speaker 3 (20:42):
Is this this was not normal when I went through.
Next thing you know, two years later, I'm winning this
gold medal. And then my story gets shared without my permission.
So then all of a sudden, you know, my trauma
is being glorified on a very big stage. And then
it went into my mom opened up Project Walk, this
(21:03):
incredible facility that just gave me a chance to get
healthy and get stronger.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
And then in the.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
I learned to walk after 10 years of being in
a wheelchair. And then a year later, I get asked
to do Dancing with the Stars. And my family's like,
you just learned how to walk. And I was like, yeah,
we'll figure it out. As much as all those things
were great and awesome, a big battle that I was
facing behind the scenes was that all these accomplishments were
essentially anesthetizing the trauma and all the things that I
(21:33):
knew God had been nudging me to you know, take
care of myself. But sometimes you get so caught up
in filling everyone else's cup that you forget to fill yours.
So all these things I was doing was great. And
it was exciting. And then other people were excited.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
And then I'm going on stage and people are making
a lot of money off of my story. But no
one had cared to.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Ask, hey, what did this whole what is what like,
have you addressed what just happened? And me not really
having a choice but to continue to keep defying odds
and keep doing that. But at the expense of me
just hitting an absolute breaking point where, you know, I
(22:12):
didn't think I could have a bad day.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I didn't think I could.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I think I felt guilty for feeling the way I
was feeling. And then I just didn't have I didn't
have time to breathe. And then that was just kind
of in the midst of such success. I was also
struggling so badly. And it was like, I just didn't
know that it was OK to not be OK until
until I just hit an absolute breaking point.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
When I was really struggling in.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
My 20s, I would say to my mom, I had
more peace in a vegetative state than I do right now.
And I don't understand it. And I think I was,
you know, running from my faith a little bit. I
was just so, I was struggling so badly. And so
I didn't know what anxiety and depression was. It wasn't
something that we were talking about.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
And It's like, I'm fine.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
I'm fine. And also being a kid that was told
that you were doing it in your head and you know,
you're crazy. I had this guard up of, I'm not crazy.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
I'm not crazy. You know?
Speaker 3 (23:05):
So I, I never talked about how I felt or
what my feelings are because I was like, I'm not crazy.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
I'm not crazy.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
I was just having three to four panic attacks a day.
I was so anxious. I was barely sleeping. I couldn't eat,
but I, all I could do was show up to work, right?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
I could be on TV.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
I could be this character and I could show up
on stage and do all these things. Cause it looked
like I had so much going for me. And then, um,
I got to a point where I, one night I
just hit this absolute breaking point and I, I tried
to take my own life. I was literally like, I'm
done and I'm doing, I'm, I'm ending this now. And,
(23:44):
and I, I can't keep going like this. And I
couldn't even, I didn't even know how to pray at
that point.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
I was so broken. And I was such a shell
of a human.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
And I didn't necessarily have the best people around me
other than my family. But even then I was trying
to shield them that everything was okay. So I just
got to this point where I was like, I can't
do this anymore. I went to leave my mom a
message because my hands were shaking too badly to write
a note. And I called her to leave her a message.
I was like, it's 3 a.m. She's not going to
(24:13):
pick up the phone. On the second to last ring,
she picks up the phone. And I just said to her,
I was like, I can't do this anymore. I can't
do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore.
I can't, I can't be this character people want me
to be. And I feel like I've let God down.
I feel like I've let my family down. I feel
(24:33):
like I've let everyone down. And I just, I think
it would just be easier if I just closed this book.
And she just listened and she said, it's okay to
not be okay.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
And I was like, it is? No, it's not.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
And she just spoke life into me, but met me
where I was. It was just, she was so calm.
And she goes, was I scared?
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
She goes, but I could feel God just guiding me
and speaking with you. And she's like, and I could
tell your spirit was just so broken. You didn't need
me to preach. You needed me to just pray and
just be with you in this moment. And then she
stayed with me till the sun came up. She drove
three hours down And she found me and I was
just like on the floor and she just sat with
(25:18):
me and she just said, she's like, okay, she goes,
we got this. She goes, I'm in. And I was like,
I'm drowning. And she goes, wow, thank goodness I know
how to swim. We met with a trauma therapist. I
started just addressing what had happened and started taking care
of the little girl who had been so torn apart.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
And then I started healing.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
Like I started actually dealing with the trauma and I
was so afraid of I was so afraid to go
back there, but I was in turn suffocating myself by
not letting it out. And so I started just getting
help and finding my faith again and finding peace again,
but actual peace and realizing you can actually smile that's genuine,
(26:03):
not from a place that's hiding your pain. After that
was when I started just speaking to people around me of,
I'm like, how many other people or hiding in plain
sight and struggling like I was, or on the verge
of jumping off a cliff. And I just started realizing
how many other people are struggling. And so then I
kept trying to look for resources, and I kept trying
(26:25):
to look for help to be able to give to
other people, because not everyone can find a therapist like
I found, or have a mom that's going to pick
up the phone at 3 a.m., or have anyone that's
going to pick up the phone at 3 a.m. And
so I knew there was a purpose for the pain
that I had gone through. And just the fact that
some people don't even have a wheelchair or a ramp
to get in and out of their home just horrified me.
(26:45):
And so my mom and I were like, we need
to do something about this. And so we created our
Victory Scholarship Program. And we're just a quality of life
organization that.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Provides resources, equipment, care.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
To individuals with mobility challenges. So whether that's nursing care hours.
adaptive equipment home modifications car modifications whatever it is that
is your victory and that will help you improve your
quality of life we always joke there's no manual for
you know this world and we provide that and to
the best of our ability just support for people because
(27:18):
i think when you go through something so catastrophic like
my family you just feel so alone and so this
foundation is kind of that that hand that's in hey
we see you and we want to help you and
Let's turn our pain into a purpose and help someone
else do the same. I had to go back to,
you know, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 year old Victoria
(27:40):
and say, hey, girl, like it's going to be OK
and we're going to be OK, too.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
And you don't you don't have to keep running.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
I had to find forgiveness and I had to, you know,
I live by the verse of forgive them for they
know not.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
What they do. There is cruelty out there.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
And there was this little girl whose innocence was ripped
away and who was tortured. And it was something that
forever altered my life. It took almost two decades to
really address that. And, you know, we had some of
the best lawyers around. in the country come to my
parents and say, this is insane. Like you have literally
(28:19):
this signed, sealed, delivered case of malpractice and abuse and
all of that. And I, I stopped it. I went
to my parents. I was like, I don't want their
blood money. And I don't want, you know, I don't
want them denying what they did. And also there's no
number in the world that's going to give back what
they took away from me. And what's going to is
(28:41):
finding forgiveness and Sometimes, you know, the plan for redemption,
if you will, is being the bigger person, is being
the person that actually does something about it. I've never
been comfortable with the whole fame and notoriety thing, but
if it helps one person, then that's worth it. That's
what makes that view that I fought so hard for
(29:03):
definitely worth it. Throughout all of this, my entire family
found God and really in having anyone else left. And
my mom would say, you know, you went on this
crazy journey.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
She was, but I really got to know God through it.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
And even to this day, I laugh because I have
had doctors all over the country where I've seen.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
There have been some that were maybe not believers.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
And then they look at my medical chart, they look
at the diagnosis, and then they look at the person
standing in front of them.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
I'm like, well, it's a Jesus thing. So I said,
we can just blame Jesus. How about that?
Speaker 1 (29:39):
And a terrific job on the production, editing and storytelling
by our own Madison Derricott. And a special thanks to
Victoria Arlen for sharing her remarkable journey. Her book is
The View Is Worth It. Go to Amazon or the
usual suspects wherever you buy your books. She tried to
take her own life. That's how bad things got as
she was competing and Doing what she was supposed to do,
(30:00):
she hadn't addressed that trauma of hers. Then that call
with her mom, finding the therapist, finding room for prayer,
finding room for faith again. A remarkable story of Christian
courage and sacrifice here on Our American Stories.
This is Lee Habib and this is Our American Stories.
As a child, a devastating illness left Victoria Arlen trapped
inside her own body for years. Doctors believed she would
never recover and no one knew Victoria herself was still
in there, listening, thinking, and hoping. That same little girl
(00:31):
would go on to become a gold medalist, a world
record holder, and even a semifinalist on Dancing with the Stars.
Here's Victoria Arlen with her story.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Life was great.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
I mean, life was, I know the word normal is
such an elusive thing, but it really was.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
I mean, I had the most incredible childhood.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I have an awesome family, and I'm one of triplets,
so there was never a dull moment.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
It was great.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
I mean, I was the kid that never got sick,
never had any health challenges or anything.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
So I had high hopes for what I wanted to
be and what I wanted to do. And I was
the only girl of four.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
So it was all about, you know, just keeping up
with my brothers and sports were definitely a huge part
of my life. I was just a very energetic human.
I loved just being outside.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I loved playing.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
I loved, I loved like training and working towards something.
Cause I was the type of kid I would wake
up and just go. And then my mom would be
trying to put us all to bed. And I was like, well,
we got to do all these things. And she goes, well,
we'll do them tomorrow. So just always on the move
type of kid with way bigger goals than a normal,
you know, at five, I was telling my mom I
was going to be a gold medalist.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
And she's like, okay, like an Olympian.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
And I also come from a family that they're, if
you have a big dream, they're like, go for it,
work hard at it.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
So yeah, That was me.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
I mean, I was a very overachieving, hyperactive kid, but
then it all kind of changed.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I started every other week just getting different things. I
would get the flu. I got pneumonia. I developed asthma.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
It was like my immune system just can't seem to
keep up or have any fight in it because it
was every other week something was happening.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
And then they were just watching all my fine motor
skills start to go.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
And I'm pretty stubborn, so I don't like to be
told I can't do something or if I can't do it,
I try to figure it out. So they were watching
me try to hold myself up. They were watching me
try to grab something. And it was basically like someone
was just shutting the switches off. Being the age I
was at, there was more assumptions than not that I
was doing it for attention. So the top children's hospital
(02:40):
in Boston just told my parents I need to go
see a psychologist.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
My mom was like, you can't.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
How? How is she doing this for attention? She's asking
me when she can go back to school. She's asking
me if she'll make it in time for her dance recital.
Like I was asking all the time. And also my
mom's like, I'm not here to try to tell you
my kid is perfect. But she's like, she's a very
secure kid. She's been as she has known her place
in this world since she was five years old. When
(03:08):
a hospital like that labels you a psychiatric patient, that's,
I guess, apparently a title that puts like a target
on your back to not getting treatment or respect or
even doctors taking you seriously. My mom's like, her foot
is dragging. She has no reflexes left in her legs.
Like there is, this is not normal. And also, how
does a child fake this? All the fine motor skills
(03:31):
started to go down. And my mom was going to
these doctors and saying, learn from her. Like something is wrong.
And they doubled down on trying to snap me out
of it and berate me.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
And I think abuse is a tame word. They pretty
much just torture me.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
I won't get into too much specifics just because I
don't want to traumatize your listeners. But they were just
trying to convince my parents I was crazy. And they
tricked my parents and told my parents, you can't take
her home. Cause I was at that point, I was like,
it was failure to thrive. Like you couldn't swallow anymore. You,
(04:12):
we couldn't, we didn't have a way to give you nourishment.
And so they basically said, well, you can't take her home,
but we have this special care facility that would give
her rehab and pain management.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
And you know, she, we can get her better. So
my parents were desperate. They were like, okay.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
And you know, my mom said it was the one
time she didn't listen to her gut and didn't listen
to God yelling. No. It was actually an unmarked psych
ward that they essentially tricked my parents into locking me in.
And as soon as they closed the door is when
for 10 straight days, I was tortured day and night
with them trying to snap me out of it. And
(04:53):
by snapping me out of it, they thought that just
absolute physical and emotional torture would suffice. It's scary enough
to be like, I can't feel my feet anymore and
I can't get out of bed. And then no one's
believing me. And I'm a kid, so I don't know
any better. But my nerves were dying off. My brain
was swelling. My spine was being obliterated. And that was
(05:17):
the first time.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I thought about suicide.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I kept trying to see if there was a window
I could jump out of.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
And I couldn't move at the time.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
And I remember I was in this room and there
was bolted down windows and there was a back alley.
And I just remember thinking, if I can just jump,
it's going to be way better than what I'm dealing
with 20 hours a day, if not more. And it
was scary enough that my body was shutting down. But
what was even scarier was the fact that I was
(05:46):
being tortured.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
And I couldn't defend myself. And how.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
I didn't know humans could be so cruel. I didn't
know doctors and nurses that are meant to help you
or a facility that's supposed to be the best in
the world could be hell on earth. My heart had
just been completely shattered and my innocence completely taken away
from me. By the time my mom got to me,
(06:14):
I was about 60 pounds, maybe.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
Less, and I was a My mom was like, you
were seizing because your body was in such distress.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
And my family rescued me, so they had to get
lawyers involved. They basically tricked the hospital that I was
being transferred.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
And she's like, so we rescued you. And she goes,
I never had seen a corpse before. And she goes,
when we walked into the room, when we could finally
get to you, you were just this corpse. During that time,
they essentially accelerated the process of my brain and spine
just absolutely collapsing.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Being catastrophic destruction happening.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
And so in April of 2006, I was 11.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
I woke up with a really bad.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Pain on my right side and my life was never
the same. My mom was like, the last thing you
said was your head was being crushed, your head was
being crushed, which we learned was my brain was swelling.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
I was screaming.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
My mom was like, you were visibly shaking. And we
were rushing to the hospital. And then by the time
we got there, the life just left your eyes.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
You were gone.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
You know when you talk in your head, you sound
like you.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
So I thought I was talking.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
I was a little out of it. And I'm laying there,
and I'm thinking, I'm talking. I'm like, why can't I move?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Why do I feel so stuck? Where is everyone? Why
is no one? I'm asking, like, what's going on? And
then I.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Realized very quickly that they didn't know I was there.
I was in this locked-in state. So it's a vegetative state.
So the doctors thought I couldn't hear, couldn't see, wasn't there. Like,
they were literally telling my parents, people don't survive this.
If they do, she's not coming back the way you
think she is or even remotely close to who she
once was. So they were like, either plan a funeral
(08:09):
or put her away. My family's like, no, we are,
whatever time we have with her, we're going to give
her a beautiful life.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
And they didn't even realize that I was aware the
whole time.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
So for four years, I'm fighting a very hard and
long fight, but it was those moments where it was
just kind of realizing like, I can't at least, you know,
go down without a fight. And I watched my family
not give up. And so I was like, who am
I to give up? I mean, plenty of the doctors
were saying, you know, this kid's a goner, but my
family didn't believe that. So as long as they were
(08:42):
believing and fighting for me, I could keep fighting too.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
And even listening to Victoria Arlen tell her own story.
One of three triplets, she never got sick in her
early life. Energetic would be the word she described best,
and competitive. As she said, she woke up ready to go.
And then suddenly her immune system is challenged. Her motor
skills start to wane. She felt like someone was, quote,
(09:07):
shutting the switches off. The hospital, well, they came to
the conclusion it was all in her head. The next
thing you know, it's the psych ward and then worse.
It was unimaginable that doctors could treat her as she
was being treated. And it was that rare time her
mom didn't listen to her gut. When she finally came
in to intervene, her daughter was a corpse, 60 pounds,
(09:30):
11 years old. Their hope gave her hope. They're fighting.
gave her the fight. When we come back, more of
the story of Victoria Arlen, here on Our American Stories.
(10:09):
And we continue with our American stories and Victoria Arlen's story.
When we last left off, she'd just fallen into a
vegetative state after suffering severe brain swelling. But what no
one else knew, 11-year-old Victoria was still fully alert and
aware of everything happening around her. Let's return to the story.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
It was a lot. It was heavy.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
I mean, I know we say tomorrow isn't guaranteed, but
my tomorrow was almost guaranteed to not come.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
So I think every day I woke up, I was
just like, still here, you know, and for me, it
became a game. So as a kid, you know, it
became a game of the goner still here.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
I had this one moment where, you know, my nose itched,
and I realized I couldn't scratch my nose. And then
I very quickly was like, I could go down this
path of all the things that I can't do. Or
I can get excited for the day I get to
scratch my nose. And I started looking at the world
like that, that every day I woke up, as bad
as it was, as hard as it was, I'm still here.
(11:13):
I've got a family that loves me. You know, my
mom's painted my nails. And what was crazy is my
mom started her.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Day that way, too.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
She would literally wake up and declare her thanks to
God for a home, for a hospital, for a bed,
for the fact that she can take care of me.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
We have running water. My mom's like, sometimes it was
just the.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Fact that we had a roof over our head. So
her gratitude was then reflecting my gratitude. So we were
both doing the same thing, just obviously weren't communicating with it.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
But it was heavy. I mean, it was really hard.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
I think day in and day out, you know, for me,
it was trying to fight another day to, you know,
be able to tell my family I love them. And
for her, it was my mom was just trying to
fight to, you know, keep me alive and find answers
or find help.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
But for doctors, I mean, they just were, I mean.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
I can't tell you how many doctors behind my parents
back would say things along the lines, including this direct quote.
Can you believe this kid's parents think that she's going
to make it? We all know this kid's a goner.
I mean, I'll be honest with you. There weren't a
lot of I think there was moments where I was
trying to have hope. But I think there were so
many times where circumstances, people were.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Essentially canceling that out.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
So many people were trying to discount, you know, what
God would be capable of. My mom, she's like, we
had hope for so long and believed that you were there,
but we didn't know for sure. And so for those
four years, I mean, I think initially I had a
lot of optimism and hope. And I was like, all right,
I have this obituary, but I'm going to write my
(12:49):
bucket list too. My like, if I survive list. Closing
in on the four-year mark, it got really hard too
because there was several moments where things were happening and
going on and abuse was occurring that I couldn't say anything.
And I think that's when I was really trying to
fight even to just be seen. And I always say
(13:12):
it's like your darkest moments come before the sunrise and
before the sun shines. And my darkest moment came where
a nurse was choking me.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
She had her hands around my neck. It was the
middle of the night.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
And she was trying to just basically, you know, in
her words, make it happen quicker.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
And she's choking me.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
And I think in that moment, it really hit me
of how helpless I really am and how I can't
even fight back. I, this is how I'm going. Like
this is, this is a crazy, you know, end to it.
And then in the very last minute, as I was
losing consciousness, she let go and ran out the room.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
I was, uh, I was gasping for air. I was,
I was confused.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
I was ready to just, you know, okay, fine, let's
end this. But then in that moment, I was like,
enough is enough. And that's when I made a promise
with God. And I was like, I can't do this anymore.
So if you need me, take me.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
And if you don't, just please give me back my life.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Give me back my voice. Give me another chance to
make a difference in this world. And if you do
give me back my voice, I won't waste a single moment.
There was such a peace that came over me after
I prayed that prayer. And I could just, I was
aware that I wasn't alone anymore.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
You know, the.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Bible talks about the peace that surpasses understanding. And I
can't tell you how peaceful despite the chaos I was
in that state. And that couldn't be from anyone else
other than God's love and God looking out for me.
And then he just kept showing up like the way
God kept showing up in our, our life, in my
family's life, in the people and the prayers. And, um,
(15:04):
My mom, you know, she's like, since you were a
little girl, I've always been able to tell you these
big brown eyes.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
I've always been able to tell what you were thinking.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
And for four years I kept searching and I kept
searching for her and I kept believing. And then I
get the ability to blink. In that moment, she saw
me and she saw me tracking her. And she walks
up to me and what's so fascinating is before she
asked me, you know, if I could hear her blink twice,
she hesitated. And I asked her later on, you know,
(15:33):
why did you hesitate? And she says, because sometimes it's
scary to have hope. And faith is really a lot
about what you can't see, but what you have to believe.
And sometimes it's scary. when you're on the verge of
that cliff and you're about to take that leap. And,
and she's like, and I had to remember that God
would either have a net for me or wings to
(15:53):
catch me. And so she, then she asks me and
she just, you know, she's like, I just decided.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
If not now, when?
Speaker 3 (15:59):
And so she said, if you can hear me blink twice.
Right away, my mom called my dad and said, she's here.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
She's been here this whole time.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
And, and then my brothers were thrilled and My brothers
are like the coolest people because you hear these stories
when one child gets sick all the other ones act
out and they didn't. They just stepped up and they
just met me where I was through every phase. Even
when I was in my vegetative state, I used to
tuck my socks in when I went to bed at night.
(16:32):
And I used to have a very specific, you know,
blanket here, stuffed animal here. And every night the boys
would come in with my mom and like tuck me
in and make sure that blankie was here, you know,
stuffy was here. And then William always tucked my socks
in to the point where He would call my mom
when we were in the hospital and be like, did
you tuck her socks in?
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Make sure her socks are tucked in.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
And so when I was recovering and when I was
coming out of it, they just found ways to communicate
with me. Okay, let's get her a communication board. Okay,
she has one finger working. Let's see if she can
flip someone off. It was just very much, they just
met me where I was. And then when I was
trying to figure out to hold my head up, they
would help me with that.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
My whole family just.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
Rallied and said, we're just happy you're here. let alone
what you can or can't do. Like, we'll figure it out.
And then after that, my mom started asking me all
these yes to no questions. Have you been here? And
then she's like, are they treating you okay? Because she
had some suspicions. And then I answered, no, they weren't
treating me right. And so she then started speaking back
(17:33):
and saying, no, I don't need to leave her. I
can stay with her 24-7. And from there, it was
learning how to talk, learning how to sit up, learning
how to hold my head up, learning how to just
function in a wheelchair and But then just it like
life went on.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
Right.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
And so I'm still trying to figure out how to
navigate high school when I didn't even go to middle school.
And so it just became this crazy roller coaster ride
that I don't think I was properly strapped in for. And,
you know, I'm given this hero cape of this miraculous
story and I didn't know anything. where I fit in
(18:09):
and then all of a sudden I had to go
be this hero to everyone I had to achieve the
next thing and the next thing and the next thing
and the world has gone on for four years you're
not I wasn't the same person you know medically or
physically I was in a wheelchair but also psychologically I
had just gone through four years of so much trauma
that how do I live this normal life I had
(18:32):
prepared to die for four years I hadn't prepared to.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Live And you've been listening to Victoria Arlen. She had
to flip the script in her head to keep herself
going and search for things to be grateful for. That
line that really hit me, the goner is still here.
She joked about herself and to herself. And there was
the mom with that same gratitude. She's still here. I
(18:56):
can still paint her nails looking for those little pieces
of gratitude to get through the day and get past
the hard stuff. And then that line, can you believe
these kids' parents think shall make it? What a thing
to hear from the doctors who you think are taking
care of you. When we come back, the story of
Victoria Arlen continues here on Our American Stories. And we
(19:38):
continue with our American stories and to Victoria Arlen's story.
After four years trapped inside her own body, Victoria had
done what doctors thought was impossible. She'd come.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
Back.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
But coming back also meant stepping into a world that
had moved on without her. What came next would take
her to places she never could have imagined. Here again
is Victoria with the rest of her story.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
Coming out of it was such a weird culture shock
on many levels, right? Like Facebook existed, Justin Bieber existed.
I mean, don't even get me started on touchscreen. So
it was, there was a culture shock, but there was
also just this, I don't know where I stand. I
don't know where my place is. I wasn't allowed to
(20:24):
fall apart because all of a sudden I had to
play catch up and I had to go be, I
had to go prove the doctors wrong. And I had
to go, you know, they said, I'd never be a
functioning member of society.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Well, I'll show you.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
And so in the midst of playing catch up, I
actually just didn't know how to stop and didn't know how.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
To actually go, wait, am I okay?
Speaker 3 (20:42):
Is this this was not normal when I went through.
Next thing you know, two years later, I'm winning this
gold medal. And then my story gets shared without my permission.
So then all of a sudden, you know, my trauma
is being glorified on a very big stage. And then
it went into my mom opened up Project Walk, this
(21:03):
incredible facility that just gave me a chance to get
healthy and get stronger.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
And then in the.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
I learned to walk after 10 years of being in
a wheelchair. And then a year later, I get asked
to do Dancing with the Stars. And my family's like,
you just learned how to walk. And I was like, yeah,
we'll figure it out. As much as all those things
were great and awesome, a big battle that I was
facing behind the scenes was that all these accomplishments were
essentially anesthetizing the trauma and all the things that I
(21:33):
knew God had been nudging me to you know, take
care of myself. But sometimes you get so caught up
in filling everyone else's cup that you forget to fill yours.
So all these things I was doing was great. And
it was exciting. And then other people were excited.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
And then I'm going on stage and people are making
a lot of money off of my story. But no
one had cared to.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Ask, hey, what did this whole what is what like,
have you addressed what just happened? And me not really
having a choice but to continue to keep defying odds
and keep doing that. But at the expense of me
just hitting an absolute breaking point where, you know, I
(22:12):
didn't think I could have a bad day.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I didn't think I could.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
I think I felt guilty for feeling the way I
was feeling. And then I just didn't have I didn't
have time to breathe. And then that was just kind
of in the midst of such success. I was also
struggling so badly. And it was like, I just didn't
know that it was OK to not be OK until
until I just hit an absolute breaking point.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
When I was really struggling in.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
My 20s, I would say to my mom, I had
more peace in a vegetative state than I do right now.
And I don't understand it. And I think I was,
you know, running from my faith a little bit. I
was just so, I was struggling so badly. And so
I didn't know what anxiety and depression was. It wasn't
something that we were talking about.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
And It's like, I'm fine.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
I'm fine. And also being a kid that was told
that you were doing it in your head and you know,
you're crazy. I had this guard up of, I'm not crazy.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
I'm not crazy. You know?
Speaker 3 (23:05):
So I, I never talked about how I felt or
what my feelings are because I was like, I'm not crazy.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
I'm not crazy.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
I was just having three to four panic attacks a day.
I was so anxious. I was barely sleeping. I couldn't eat,
but I, all I could do was show up to work, right?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
I could be on TV.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
I could be this character and I could show up
on stage and do all these things. Cause it looked
like I had so much going for me. And then, um,
I got to a point where I, one night I
just hit this absolute breaking point and I, I tried
to take my own life. I was literally like, I'm
done and I'm doing, I'm, I'm ending this now. And,
(23:44):
and I, I can't keep going like this. And I
couldn't even, I didn't even know how to pray at
that point.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
I was so broken. And I was such a shell
of a human.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
And I didn't necessarily have the best people around me
other than my family. But even then I was trying
to shield them that everything was okay. So I just
got to this point where I was like, I can't
do this anymore. I went to leave my mom a
message because my hands were shaking too badly to write
a note. And I called her to leave her a message.
I was like, it's 3 a.m. She's not going to
(24:13):
pick up the phone. On the second to last ring,
she picks up the phone. And I just said to her,
I was like, I can't do this anymore. I can't
do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore.
I can't, I can't be this character people want me
to be. And I feel like I've let God down.
I feel like I've let my family down. I feel
(24:33):
like I've let everyone down. And I just, I think
it would just be easier if I just closed this book.
And she just listened and she said, it's okay to
not be okay.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
And I was like, it is? No, it's not.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
And she just spoke life into me, but met me
where I was. It was just, she was so calm.
And she goes, was I scared?
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
She goes, but I could feel God just guiding me
and speaking with you. And she's like, and I could
tell your spirit was just so broken. You didn't need
me to preach. You needed me to just pray and
just be with you in this moment. And then she
stayed with me till the sun came up. She drove
three hours down And she found me and I was
just like on the floor and she just sat with
(25:18):
me and she just said, she's like, okay, she goes,
we got this. She goes, I'm in. And I was like,
I'm drowning. And she goes, wow, thank goodness I know
how to swim. We met with a trauma therapist. I
started just addressing what had happened and started taking care
of the little girl who had been so torn apart.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
And then I started healing.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
Like I started actually dealing with the trauma and I
was so afraid of I was so afraid to go
back there, but I was in turn suffocating myself by
not letting it out. And so I started just getting
help and finding my faith again and finding peace again,
but actual peace and realizing you can actually smile that's genuine,
(26:03):
not from a place that's hiding your pain. After that
was when I started just speaking to people around me of,
I'm like, how many other people or hiding in plain
sight and struggling like I was, or on the verge
of jumping off a cliff. And I just started realizing
how many other people are struggling. And so then I
kept trying to look for resources, and I kept trying
(26:25):
to look for help to be able to give to
other people, because not everyone can find a therapist like
I found, or have a mom that's going to pick
up the phone at 3 a.m., or have anyone that's
going to pick up the phone at 3 a.m. And
so I knew there was a purpose for the pain
that I had gone through. And just the fact that
some people don't even have a wheelchair or a ramp
to get in and out of their home just horrified me.
(26:45):
And so my mom and I were like, we need
to do something about this. And so we created our
Victory Scholarship Program. And we're just a quality of life
organization that.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Provides resources, equipment, care.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
To individuals with mobility challenges. So whether that's nursing care hours.
adaptive equipment home modifications car modifications whatever it is that
is your victory and that will help you improve your
quality of life we always joke there's no manual for
you know this world and we provide that and to
the best of our ability just support for people because
(27:18):
i think when you go through something so catastrophic like
my family you just feel so alone and so this
foundation is kind of that that hand that's in hey
we see you and we want to help you and
Let's turn our pain into a purpose and help someone
else do the same. I had to go back to,
you know, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 year old Victoria
(27:40):
and say, hey, girl, like it's going to be OK
and we're going to be OK, too.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
And you don't you don't have to keep running.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
I had to find forgiveness and I had to, you know,
I live by the verse of forgive them for they
know not.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
What they do. There is cruelty out there.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
And there was this little girl whose innocence was ripped
away and who was tortured. And it was something that
forever altered my life. It took almost two decades to
really address that. And, you know, we had some of
the best lawyers around. in the country come to my
parents and say, this is insane. Like you have literally
(28:19):
this signed, sealed, delivered case of malpractice and abuse and
all of that. And I, I stopped it. I went
to my parents. I was like, I don't want their
blood money. And I don't want, you know, I don't
want them denying what they did. And also there's no
number in the world that's going to give back what
they took away from me. And what's going to is
(28:41):
finding forgiveness and Sometimes, you know, the plan for redemption,
if you will, is being the bigger person, is being
the person that actually does something about it. I've never
been comfortable with the whole fame and notoriety thing, but
if it helps one person, then that's worth it. That's
what makes that view that I fought so hard for
(29:03):
definitely worth it. Throughout all of this, my entire family
found God and really in having anyone else left. And
my mom would say, you know, you went on this
crazy journey.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
She was, but I really got to know God through it.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
And even to this day, I laugh because I have
had doctors all over the country where I've seen.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
There have been some that were maybe not believers.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
And then they look at my medical chart, they look
at the diagnosis, and then they look at the person
standing in front of them.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
I'm like, well, it's a Jesus thing. So I said,
we can just blame Jesus. How about that?
Speaker 1 (29:39):
And a terrific job on the production, editing and storytelling
by our own Madison Derricott. And a special thanks to
Victoria Arlen for sharing her remarkable journey. Her book is
The View Is Worth It. Go to Amazon or the
usual suspects wherever you buy your books. She tried to
take her own life. That's how bad things got as
she was competing and Doing what she was supposed to do,
(30:00):
she hadn't addressed that trauma of hers. Then that call
with her mom, finding the therapist, finding room for prayer,
finding room for faith again. A remarkable story of Christian
courage and sacrifice here on Our American Stories.
Host
Lee Habeeb
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