Miss Mary: Dingaling is Good... But It Ain't Better Than God!

Thanksgiving’s all about family, so this week TS Madison is joined by an EXTRA special guest: her mother, Miss Mary!

To start off, Miss Mary delves into her spiritual journey, how she found Christ and continues to grow as a Christian even today. A lot of people call themselves Christians these days, but Miss Mary takes issue with those who preach with hate rather than love. She shares her own beliefs that God will meet you where you’re at, and that the bible is a tool not a weapon. And she credits not just God but also her daughter TS Madison in teaching her how to love unconditionally.

We’re getting an intimate look at Maddie and Miss Mary’s relationship– TS Madison might be an icon to the world, but to Miss Mary, that’s her baby! Miss Mary talks about what it was like raising her daughter and two sons, watching her daughter achieve stardom and what she learned in the process. Maddie reflects on her upbringing as well, and gets into her decision to leave home, what motivated that decision, and how she came back to her mama. 

Before you sit down for your turkey dinner, tune into “Outlaws” with TS Madison to remember what matters most.

"Outlaws" is hosted by TS Madison, and is part of the Outspoken Network from iHeartPodcasts, co-produced by Turtle Run Entertainment.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Every time I open up my mouth up and goes
bud don't.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Wait, no win went two inches bed bd bed bum yourself,
get a job o ricking honey, rick ho.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Couldn't more chasing it all? I'm black like that? Here

(00:33):
about live and it's color easy.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
This is Outlaws with Tears Medicine.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Hey, is it?

Speaker 3 (00:43):
Is it on?

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Is it on? Honey? Is this thing recording? What's up? Everybody?

Speaker 2 (00:48):
This is your girl Tears Medicine coming to you loud,
live and always and forever in color from the Outlaws Podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
Now listen.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
I know that you have been enjoying the Outlaws podcast
because I have been enjoying the Outlaws podcast because it's
in everywhere and everything. At the same time, we have
had some amazing guests on our show, and I think
that this show.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Is definitely Golden Globe worthy.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
We have had some deep conversation, We've we've shook the
noise in the in the in the social media ram,
We've shaken the noise in the heart chakras. There has
been so much that has happened since the Outlaws podcast
we've been on. We've been featured on the View twice
with the Jasmine Crockett interview and the Tina Knowles It's

(01:37):
just been amazing. The Monique interview just shattered saucy sentenda.
It's a countless, countless guests that have been on the
show that have shaken it up. But this guest that
I'm having today is one of my most very very
special guests, because this guest is the biggest star on

(01:57):
the planet. Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together
for my mother, Miss Mary. Yay, that's the Aries in
her that made her clap for her own self like that,
And I appreciate that. I appreciate that, and so I
need y'all to know that this isn't our first time

(02:17):
doing this. This is like our second time doing it,
because the aries jumped down to Miss Mary and it's okay,
who the.

Speaker 3 (02:25):
Liber Ah, you scale tilted away. I don't care for
all those things.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
The scales tilted. However, even when the scales tilted, guess
what they did. They were logical and that's why we're
here again today. But we're gonna act like this is
your first day here. Everybody, put your hands together for
miss Mary. Got it all right, Mommy, Yes, darling. I

(02:54):
want you to explain to the people out there who
you are.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
I'm Mary Mackis.

Speaker 3 (03:01):
I am the mother of three kids, and I am
the mother of the iconic TS matter guys.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
So question, I have a question in that same statement, Mummy,
do you see me as an icon? To the world?
You the icon?

Speaker 3 (03:15):
But to me, you and my baby, But you're also
I have to let you, I have to let you know.
I have to let you know in the in the world,
out there, in the icon world, you to everybody, but
to me when you come home and I see you
ups your down, you're just my baby. But I recognize
who you are because I get to feel of it.

(03:37):
I get to see it when I do travel with
you sometime because they also recognize me.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
As your Well, you got to understand me, Mary, that
you have done a lot out here in this world,
whether it's social media or or mainstream or whatever. You've
done a lot just by being a parent, just by
being the parent of the ts. And also you know,
being a Christian woman and who is openly, you know,
openly loved their child and openly love the Lord, love

(04:05):
the Lord. Because listen, here's the thing what I think
about parents. Parents should love their children regardless. But when
you love the Lord and you have challenging children, sometimes
that becomes challenging in your faith. It very so I
want to chat with you for a second about how
did you find Christ? Well, I was going faced with

(04:27):
a lot of things in life. Always been so many
troubles and things that happened to me. Been blamed for
a lot of things that wasn't my fault, but it
was taking out on me for me causing it.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
This is in your childhood, all of that, okay, and
through my life in relationship and as I look back,
but when I look back as from the age of
for eleven twelve, God was touching me, but I didn't
understand what was going on. He was dealing with me,
and I didn't quite understand. When you say touching you,

(05:01):
it was like something calling me because I used to
go when I was young and used to tell me
that about I wanted to be virgin married.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Oh so, but this was definitely not a virgin bird. No,
it wasn't. It was in sin.

Speaker 3 (05:16):
It was in sin that it was conceived. But you
came to be a beautiful flower out of that. I
was a caterpillar.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
From saying I don't know about that. But anyway, I
was a caterpillar then I guess if that's what you
want to call it. Yeah, So anyway, I.

Speaker 3 (05:34):
From a young age, I had a desire and I
might as well change that and saying I had a
desire to know God, I didn't really know, but because
what I lived around and seeing it was so many
people talk about God, but they weren't living. As I
learned later that they wasn't living what they was talking.
So they were saying so they were saying that they

(05:54):
were Christians, but they were they were the things that
they was doing in the way of the way of
doing things, they wasn't it wasn't reflecting that.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
So I'm gonna pivot just for a second and then
come back to that. It's kind of like what's going
on now.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
There's so many people now right now currently who are doing,
who are doing and saying so many things in the
name of God and God and Jesus and all this stuff,
and they're and they turn in so many away and
they've actually they're actually framing the way that they're governing
this country, you know, on uh, on Christian values and

(06:31):
and so the way that this is going now and
I said I was gonna go for it and pivot
forward and then come back. The way that things are
going now, it's like, uh, they're using God's name to
condemn and to control and to and they've made transgender
people public enemy number one, like number one, we are

(06:54):
public enemy number one.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
And that's where they are.

Speaker 3 (06:56):
Shouldn't be that's the focus of the enemy. Want to
have on on that particular thing when it's so many
other things that are destroying.

Speaker 2 (07:06):
So my question to you is being that this administration
has its eyes focused extremely on the libique with a
community l g G, T, qu I AM and most.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
Particularly transgender people.

Speaker 3 (07:23):
And you have.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
An outspoken outlaw ts Madsen, kid, what are your feelings
in this in this exact moment right now?

Speaker 3 (07:36):
A lot was Sometimes it's a lot of fear because
of your outspoken is how how out loud you live?
And just to see the way that things are going,
in the way they're trying to it's so many things
that I don't like.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
I don't know what I'm allowed to say, and this
is the outlaws. Well, how to be the areas that
God calls you to.

Speaker 3 (07:58):
I'm so sick of the foolishness. These church people that
claim to be no God. You saying you love God
in the way you're treating people, that's awful because the
way God do God meet people right where they are.
He don't come and beat people down or what they
what they do or don't do, that's whatever they do,
that's they problem in they bedroom, or whoever they do

(08:20):
it with. He told us to love, and he told
us to share a word with people, But he didn't
tell us to beat people down the way they doing
it because they try to fear people in. Because when
you try to force people in to do something, all
you're doing is pushing them on the wing. And when
you try to force to put your beliefs and stuff
on others. I've learned some mistakes I made in my

(08:42):
early part of my Christian walk that I didn't learn.
When you learn better, you do better. But some people
are never gonna do better. They're never gonna learn Now.

Speaker 2 (08:52):
I do like the way that you frame the statement
when you force your beliefs in to other people, you
know you know now this is just a question, and
this is a question, and I would be disingenuous if
I didn't ask this question. From the perspective of a

(09:15):
person watching who would say, well, Christian people tend to
say that there's only one God, there's only one God,
and there's only this source material, that this is the way,
this is the truth, this is the life. When they're
when there's like, like the way that this country is
is falsely being governed, is they're they're attempting to claim

(09:40):
that they're governing on the way of.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
Christian beliefs.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
Everybody is in Christian, everybody isn't everybody doesn't follow what
the book, what the Bible says, and and and and
and everybody isn't aligning their their selves and their beliefs
up with you know what is written in about it.
Because there are people who have said, well, this the
book was man written. And not only was it man written,

(10:06):
I mean it was God inspired, but it was man written.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
And there are so many.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
Rules and regulations that have been that this country is
now using as a tool.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
To oh a cherry picking to destroy people.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
Yes, so you when people say that, when Christian people
say well, or you say that, say, well, I'm not
forcing anybody.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
To believe what I believe.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
But then then everybody that's Christian turns around and say, well,
the Word of God says and God said this, and
God said that, and God said this, and God said that,
and they use that as a tool to be people.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
But what if everybody is not Christian?

Speaker 3 (10:56):
God know everybody ain't gonna be Christian already. No, he
knows that's henew. Everybody's not gonna be a Christian. Everybody's
not gonna walk in his ways, everybody's not gonna do
what he say.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
But yet he still loved Mmmm.

Speaker 2 (11:13):
Basically, what I'm saying is I've always been an advit
girl believer in separation of.

Speaker 1 (11:22):
Church and state. I've I've.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
We should not be governed by any things, uh, belief wise, religion,
there's no religious should have nothing to do with government.

Speaker 3 (11:36):
But and I'm believing that too, because people make up
their own rules and government that they want to walk by.
They'll use some'm a part of the Word of God
to use it to a certain extent, and then they'll
add more on to it to use it for the
to do another damage in another way with it. That's
why I'm having a problem with it. So I don't
know if I'm making trying what I'm trying to say.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
So as a.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
Christian woman who has a transgender child, that's outspoken, that's
an outlaw who challenges the actual government. Girl, do you
with me with some things I talk about? You know
it's ma'am who.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
Challenges the actual government.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
At what point did you started seeing like the viewpoint
and as a Christian woman because you know, people could
say where you're only seeing this now because your child
is a fag or your child is a gay or
trans or whatever. At what point did you start seeing
the flaw in the system.

Speaker 3 (12:51):
I saw a lot of flaw in the system where
the representative of God people's period before even getting to this.
This is why just telling you before when we first
started that I saw something. They talk, they tell you
one thing, say you live this way, live that way,
but yet they're not doing those things. They're not living
at or they plant. They're pretending to like they're living it,

(13:13):
but they're not. Does that mean I'm gonna ask you
because I want to make sure that you understand that
understand you know, you know, but what I'm seeing in
this government now, I don't like it. They're using it
to fix it, to fix whatever they wanted to try
to destroy. One set of peoples, and yet you're trying
to destroy one set of people, but you're hurting many more.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
Does that make sense too, Yeah, it does. But I
don't think that they're I don't think any of those
people are. They're not a lot of them.

Speaker 3 (13:45):
I just keep saying, there's a lot the Bible talks
about false prophets, and you said something about that. It
said only one way. I don't know everything. I mean,
I don't know everything. I don't know every what you know.
I don't know who wrote whatever. I just know it's
too much stuff in that Bible that has come to pass,

(14:06):
and it's too many things that been written way ahead
of us that we nobody would know that would be
happening right now. And when they're talking about the how
do you say, the little vitt the l G L
B all that's that's that was in the world. But
you showed me something as we've been sitting talking and
I've been watching something when you've been talking about King

(14:27):
James mm hm, and you was breaking something down that
I didn't know that came from King Jane when he
tried to divorce his wife. That was Henry, but the
Bible King Jane, because I know that, but.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
But I like the I V.

Speaker 2 (14:45):
Bible to break it down for me to understand either way.
There's been countless translations translate Greek. It's translated so much
to understand. No, not for everybody to understand, for the
for their for it's been broken down for people to
govern with in these and the words in translation have

(15:09):
different meanings in each translation. True, we didn't get the
word homosexual or anything pertaining to gay until nineteen forty
two in the Bible.

Speaker 3 (15:19):
See you more knowledgeable all that that I didn't know
some things from what you was when we been sitting down,
sharing and talking.

Speaker 2 (15:27):
Well, I think that you have to be knowledgeable when
you're trying to condemn not you, I'm definitely. I think
that you have to be knowledgeable when you start speaking
from the context of well, the Bible says, and the
Bible this in the Bible that you know, you know,
there were times and spaces that the versus chapters and
things were written for for that time period of people.

Speaker 1 (15:51):
Like when we start talking about the.

Speaker 2 (15:54):
Word homosexual or gay or what excuse homosexuality, we start
talking about it in the context.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
Of man lying with man and women lining with women.

Speaker 3 (16:09):
It was.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
They were talking about men in line with women on
their periods. It's just so many things.

Speaker 3 (16:18):
I'm a scholars in the Book of Romans. Yeah, there's
a lot of things that happen in the Book of
Romans and the Book of This, in the Book of that,
in the levitical law, and all of this type of
stuff that were conditioned for that time frame, and that
that that those kingdoms and and all of that, like

(16:38):
the way lenin shouldn't be worn with each other. What
was an abomination and what was not, Because when people
speak about abomination, they speak about about abomination and particularly
the sense of queer people.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
But there's a lying is actually do I need to pull? No, No,
you don't have you don't have money, don't we're not
doing if I didn't know how to script. But lying
is an abomination.

Speaker 3 (17:07):
He hates that a lion tongue gospel gossiping people back
by and caused them division between brother brother the division.

Speaker 1 (17:17):
But they overlooked that.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
And Sodom and Gamar was not destroyed because of homosexuality.

Speaker 3 (17:24):
It was because of greed. They only use that little part.
But if it's a inclsic, oh my god, you don't
have to it's incl It was more than just homo sick.
What they were talking about homo sex. It was about
it wasn't specifically it was about It was about them
being so greedy they didn't want to share and help
other people. All of that was in that, But you

(17:46):
don't hear them preach much about that.

Speaker 1 (17:48):
It's booth. Can I is it okay? I call you okay,
I can just be me?

Speaker 3 (17:54):
Yes, well anyway, we want you to be sassy, zesty
any way. It's so much in that Bible. There's a
lot I don't understand. But when you tell if you
don't understand something, you ask the Holy Spirit to ask
you and leading God you and God will lead, and
God you man take and make the word to beat people,
to use it as a weapon, like you said, to

(18:17):
hurt other people, and especially if it's some special if
it's people want.

Speaker 1 (18:21):
People to do the way they want you to do.

Speaker 3 (18:24):
Control has control, And I mean even me, boy, I
had to walk away from the faith a little bit
to go and re You know, when you've been taught something,
you have to back away and go re examine. Because
of the way some of the Christian people treated me,
who said they was Christian and the way you're doing

(18:45):
and when I go reading the word, this.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
Is not how God do it.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
Welly, you know, I've I've extra communicated myself from religion
and I've gotten what I've centered myself more so with.

Speaker 1 (19:00):
The spirituality part of it.

Speaker 3 (19:01):
What can I say this, It's a big difference between
religion and the relationship.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
Correct.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
Religion make up a lot of rules and rules and
stuff that you gotta do.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
Relationship is just you, openly, you and God talking.

Speaker 3 (19:16):
He got those rules he put everybody think that's what's
in that Bible is there to beat people down. But
it's really that to help us to live a better
life if you use the word right. Well.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
From my from my understanding, the acronym was basic. Basic
instructions before leaving Earth.

Speaker 3 (19:32):
Basic instruction before leaving Earth.

Speaker 1 (19:37):
Yes, basic And.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
The Book of the Book of poverb teach you how
wisdom and wisdom and stuff. It teach you how to
be with family, friends, It teach you a lot of things,
even how to deal with money.

Speaker 1 (19:50):
All of that is in there. But some people take
legalistic They it's okay if you get it wrong. I'm
trying not want to watch that ain't nobody think about
trying to.

Speaker 3 (20:04):
Make They try to make people everybody, and God already
know everybody ain't gonna walk all the same exact way,
just like you got different many preachers, some say this
preacher ain't right, that one ain't right. But God got
peoples out there to use, just to bring people who
others can't touch.

Speaker 1 (20:20):
Well, would you think that God has used me in anything?

Speaker 3 (20:23):
I know he is.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
I don't think I know. And that's another problem I have.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
Many of doune told me that, how can you how
They told me I'm going to hell because I condone
what you do.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
I don't condone what you do.

Speaker 3 (20:36):
I just learned to see that you're happy the way
you are because I was one of the one saying, bull,
you gotta stop all of this, and you know, feeling
losing like I'm not even knowing where you were when
you left. I didn't even know what my heart was
broken because I didn't even know. I couldn't see you
or nothing that I wanted to know. Yes, all of that,

(20:58):
it's so much, Well you can talk about it. It's
just so much. I see so many people turning their
children away. I didn't know it was that many parents
turning their children away and doing their children the way
they do the way that they are doing their kids. Now,
when until you open that thing up for me, that Facebook,

(21:19):
you had told me so many things that I learned.
I done learned so much through you, it's unbelievable. So
you didn't have a gay friend growing up, No, boo,
not of my knowledge, annoying them, I know it was.

Speaker 1 (21:36):
We found out.

Speaker 3 (21:37):
We found out that we used to see some of
our family members walk a little different. But we You know,
children don't understand because back then, if them grown people
told you check your behind over there, get out of
these grown people.

Speaker 1 (21:50):
Conversation, and you better do that.

Speaker 3 (21:52):
It ain't nothing like these children today, these parents trying
to be more of these children friends than a parent.
Well you my friend, I'm your friend now, but I
went back then I was, I was your friend. I
was a friend to a certain point, my friend.

Speaker 2 (22:06):
Back then, I'm being a parent. I ain't got time
to be your friend. Well you can say that because
I would get a whooping at the drop of a dime.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
You didn't. But boo, did you think you in front?
Did you think I deserved every whooping you gave? Me
the ones you got.

Speaker 3 (22:22):
You didn't get very many whooping what you didn't get
very many? You didn't get many whoopings until you got
into four. Ain't twelve thirteen? You know you?

Speaker 1 (22:32):
That's when it change.

Speaker 2 (22:33):
Can I say something about you to your people? You
remember seven about whooping us?

Speaker 1 (22:39):
Listen.

Speaker 3 (22:40):
One thing I won't forget is the way my child,
my children are.

Speaker 1 (22:45):
I have three.

Speaker 3 (22:45):
I had three children, and I have three different personality
to you. You had three boys, three boys. Now I
have two boys and a girl. All well, a female
presenting well whatever. You live more like a woman then
than some women do. You taught me things. Many people
don't want to admit that or say that. Sometimes you

(23:07):
have taught me manything, even me being a woman. You
taught me something that I didn't even know of. Things,
the using a make up, a little more, a lot
of things I've learned. This is what I try to
explain to people. I learned how to be a woman.
It's from a woman.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
I hope I ain't messing up your things because I
got so much. I would like and i'd like for
you to say, and you have the floria to say it.
I learned how to be a woman from getting nervous.
But it's don't need to be a nerviud you're with me,
that's me and you're talking but still getting nerved. This
me and you talking, girl, and me and you be
talking like getting nerved.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
At leasten because you're scared. I'm gonna I'm gonna make
you that me and you end up. Are we scared? No, honey,
because are you scared?

Speaker 3 (23:49):
Are you scared? I ain't never scared when it comes
to a child. I don't care how old you get,
you'll still whoop me. I wear you out, girl, I
can't whoop you too big? Now you too big. I
have to get a cane or something. You better watch
it something now listen. So so boll you was, whether

(24:09):
you remember or not, because when we gave our life,
when I.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
Gave my life, no way, we did it together. Because
we did, we did it.

Speaker 3 (24:17):
Together, and you was the one saying Mama, I'm ready.
I was already ready, but you was the one you was.
I think you were seven seven seven, and you always
been a child. I never had to beat you, no,
I never had to I never had to give you
no spankings that much until you got oh dude, I
don't know. I guess that's when you went to notice

(24:38):
and of when you went the experiencing your changing in
you or what I just know you changed. You started
being rebellious, you you wasn't you, wasn't you want And
then when we was at the church and finding out
you was fighting, I didn't know and you never talked
to me.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
You you kept so many things away from well, Mamma.
You also have to realize this as as which I
don't think that parents and we talk about this more now,
especially when we have like round table discussions when it's
not just me, me and your friend, my other trans
friends or my other gay friends or whatever, because trans

(25:18):
and gays two different things.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
You know that too.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
I learned through I'm learning to tell you the truth.
I learned what trands was through you. Yes, So every
day I'm living and learning the dudes that don'ts to whatever.
I'm learning so many things that I don't want to
be ignorant. When I sit in I see so many
people write so many ignorant things about you.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
Baby.

Speaker 3 (25:41):
I'm a mama, and I turn like a bell when
it comes down to my child. I don't play that,
you know, I be want to own my phone. I
don't know how to do all the things you know
how to work on the phone. But when when can
I say, Mama? Anything you want to say when grows.
If you want to say like you told me to do,
it grows.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
If you want to something else, if you want to
say like you told me that not v fuck you
don't be I be.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
Girl girl. They just don't know.

Speaker 3 (26:13):
I be wanting to get on that thing, especially I'm
lying holes. I'm sorry now I see I get back
into mind. I mean, if you want to slide over
the say fuck you like, Oh no, honey, you had
them push see you put that thing up where I
was crying and all that streaming about my phone, but
you ain't put the whole thing. You order to put

(26:36):
what you wanted them to see, you ain't see. You
ain't show them how I was in there. I had
to moved all that stuff in their legs, had to
locked up and couldn't walk in there.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
And pain.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
I was calling you to bring me some pain medicine.
And the phone you had in my room to connected
my room for me to call was not in there.

Speaker 1 (26:52):
You screamed like that. It had me coming downstairs with
my fire. You could come down there with your fire.
All you wanted.

Speaker 3 (26:56):
I was something had need to bring you because you
act like you wan't hear me, because I thought you
still was.

Speaker 1 (27:01):
In the living room. Mother. I have a very large house.
We know I have several large houses.

Speaker 3 (27:07):
We know.

Speaker 1 (27:09):
They ain't got nothing to do with me.

Speaker 3 (27:11):
But right at that moment, I needed Since we sit
here letting holes, I'm letting the holes knowing I'm letting.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
You know ex hole. No, there's none of it the
videos that I know of what I prayed. I mean,
I don't, I don't. I don't I prayed that, but
I will. I will definitely that's between.

Speaker 1 (27:30):
You and God. Ain't got nothing that ain't none of
my business.

Speaker 2 (27:42):
So I have as a couple of questions. I want
to go back to pivot back to what you were
com back. You said that we were both ready when
we came out.

Speaker 1 (27:50):
We was both ready when we came out for to
walk out for the Lord.

Speaker 3 (27:54):
And that was when I.

Speaker 1 (27:54):
Forgot how old I was then. If I was seven,
but I was you were twenty two.

Speaker 3 (27:59):
I was in God and I didn't I was seeking
God and I didn't even know I was I was
seeking him and I didn't even know I was. Because
I'm learning. I'm learning a lot as I keep walking
with God. You never you never stop learning with God.
That's why I'm so sick of the Christians play like
they act like they so holy, they so righteous. If

(28:21):
you too righteous, you're righteousness. You're too holy and too righteous,
you ain't no good for God. And don't I hate
to see when they see people judging others because you
don't know what those people are doing every day in
their bedroom.

Speaker 1 (28:34):
You don't know how many.

Speaker 3 (28:35):
Time them people don't been down on their knees praying
and asking God to take something away or help them
with certain things before you cause judgment on other people.
Come on, car, I want to I want you to
get your cut because God, girl.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
It seems like you have a lot to say so.

Speaker 3 (28:53):
Much, but this ain't ain't enough time, and I might
get all messed up because you know, I get nervous
and when I go to getting heeded. Got some things
I have seen, especially that junk about cars saying you
hate black women, you hate black women, and you don't
we trit to do nothing for black women. Girl, I
want to get on there and cuss If that's one

(29:14):
time I would like to say, Lord, I'm gonna lay
it down right now, cuss every one of them out,
and like you say, tell them, excuse me?

Speaker 1 (29:20):
How many y'all excuse me? Lord? Fuck you bitches? They
need it?

Speaker 3 (29:28):
I be wanting to say, but boo, that ain't that's
not setting the example of Christ. It's well Christ, when
flipp the table over, he got them over when he
got mad. I think I might not forget the Christ.
I think I might be a little Peter, because Peter
was the cussing, his cussing when he apostle. When it
comes down about messing with my baby, and it just

(29:50):
ain't you, my baby.

Speaker 1 (29:51):
It's all who around you.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
When they show so much love, they putting so many
negative things out there, wrong about gay people.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
Get a chance to know.

Speaker 3 (30:01):
Woman, for your judge, one all ain't the same, especially mine,
because right sitting across from here is my beautiful baby.

Speaker 1 (30:12):
I don't care.

Speaker 3 (30:13):
I lost the son, but I gained a daughter m hm.
And we do many things together. And I learned from
this one and this one learn from me, and I'm
studying learning. I would like for you to elaborate on
that That's that's why I want. I learned because you've
used this term.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
Hold on, mommy. You've used this term a couple of
times that I'd like for you to elaborate on so
that people can really understand. You said, you lost the son,
but you gained the daughter.

Speaker 3 (30:39):
Gain the daughter, and none of the things that I
put in you have left you. See, this is what
I would like for parents to learn from this from
with this little toy, I hope I said, because you
know I mess up.

Speaker 1 (30:52):
Boy, Mamma, It's okay. Listen. I have learned how to
walk in my faith.

Speaker 3 (31:00):
Greater walking with you through this, because it even taught
me how I'm sorry, I got gotta. What this has
taught me most of them, of all things, is how
to walk in unconditional love for my child, and not

(31:22):
only my child, for others around. When I hear the stories,
I don't know if I'm taking this in the wrong.
When I hear and listen in your friends and people
that I have met on this journey. As I've been
going through this journey with you, this is not just
your life, is my life along with you.

Speaker 1 (31:44):
And when I watch and see people tell you down,
I'm a mother, and I am a Christian mother.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
But one thing I learned from God is how to
love unconditional, and walking in this with you is teaching
me how to love unconditioning, how to have patience, out
to endure when people say negative things, because I don't
know how you from day to day. I watch you
every day and I don't know how.

Speaker 1 (32:16):
You walk around.

Speaker 3 (32:16):
And then God has to show me, He has to
remind me. It's because your prayers and you teaching your
child how to learn to lean on God that's carrying
you through this. Because booy, I couldn't do it.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
Every day. I see you wake up every day. You
can be on your thing, just talking, just.

Speaker 3 (32:37):
Talking to your people, even me and you be joking
and talking and they come out of nowhere and make
make their own opinions and different things. Don't be knowing
nothing they talk about. They even say it just like
the day I did the streaming. They say, I need
to be in. I got all this time. I ain't
got no goddee, all's timer. I got nigga tired. Don't

(33:02):
full with the foolishness if you want to say that,
ain't nothing wrong.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
With the mind right now. It's just i'mfairter with y'all
niggas coming at my child. I can say all of that.
I'm sick of y'all. Y'all sit and make y'all own
things up. Some of y'all sit, y'all just trying.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
To make money off my baby because the name means something.
It means something now and it gonna mean something more.
And you say God can't use my baby. He use
my baby every day. He used my baby how to
bring people together. He used my people. He used my
baby how to stop people from even killing. They said, Well,
people that wrote us wanted to commit suicide.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
They wrote me.

Speaker 3 (33:41):
That's why I have many tears. Y'all call me mother
tears or whatever. I have a reason to shed many tears.
I watch so many of you who throw your children
to the side. Let me say this to y'all, you
parents out there, they got children that are gay. Stop
walking away from your children, because you're walking away from
some of your blessings. Because some of them same children

(34:03):
you walk away from, maybe the one coming clean your
nasty behind when you when you sick and down, when
them on ones up who got all the education and stuff,
they ain't got time for you.

Speaker 1 (34:15):
But you see this one send cross.

Speaker 3 (34:17):
From me, this one send cross for me out and
almost died several times special with COVID.

Speaker 1 (34:24):
This child did not stop to make sure that mama
be okay.

Speaker 3 (34:30):
And you all talk about my baby, and you talk
about the gay people, they all theyther they steal and
all that that's a lie.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
This child worked hard every day every day.

Speaker 3 (34:41):
This child get up. They got those work ethics from me.
That ain't changed everything we put in our children as
they get older. This is what your parents need to learn.
What you put in them children is still there. Whether
they wanted who they choose to love, that ain't got
nothing to do with us. That's between them and God.
Those are still your children, and by you turning your

(35:03):
back on them ain't gonna change them from what they
feel was whatever they're going through inside of them. It
didn't change nothing. All you've done is lost the relationship
with your child.

Speaker 1 (35:14):
Am I going to.

Speaker 2 (35:17):
I just want to go back again because I want
you to elaborate just a little bit more on You
said that you you you lost a son, but you
gained a daughter.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
What was the morning period like for you? It's it's
you really can't explain it. But that was one of
your friends.

Speaker 3 (35:36):
What really you remember when you was doing that show
called star for who was that it was a Maya
a Maya And we was over to her house one night,
y'all you were doing the show to her house when
you was interviewing her something and.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
She made y'all had a discussion or it was after
the discussion it was.

Speaker 3 (36:01):
Yeah, yeah, and she said that her mama felt like
it was it was a death, and you know, it
shook me and we left.

Speaker 1 (36:11):
We talked.

Speaker 3 (36:11):
Now I listened to what all they was saying, and
we left and as we went home and you went.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
Here when I went to my room, but it didn't.

Speaker 3 (36:18):
It stuck with me and I was like, oh my god,
you know what, that's exactly what it feels like, a death,
like you lose you lost what you was, a son
and now I'm getting a daughter.

Speaker 1 (36:35):
That's what I mean that that makes sense, it does.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
I'd like to go a little bit deeper. When you
say you lost a son, what were your your expectancies
for that son?

Speaker 1 (36:44):
What did you expect for him?

Speaker 3 (36:46):
I wanted you to go to college. You did go
to college for a few years, and you just stopped.

Speaker 1 (36:52):
I don't know what happened you the hair, and I
don't know, but you was going for college and girl,
you good at that because you try to get in
people head. I'm already there m mmmm. But go ahead. No,
I want you to finish because.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
To me, because you wanted you so, because this is important,
because this is, this is, this is these are the
these are I wanted.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
I wanted you. I wanted you to finish school.

Speaker 3 (37:23):
I thought you would have some to then, you know, bood,
I ain't really I didn't think you would have no children,
even when you was a boy, because it.

Speaker 1 (37:33):
Was all about what you wanted to do.

Speaker 3 (37:36):
Even from a young We me and my sister always
said in the family, we always knew you was gonna
be something.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
We just didn't know what it was.

Speaker 3 (37:45):
But even my sister boyfriend Alan, her oldest child. Dad,
he used to say, you were gonna be a doctor
or a lawyer, maybe the people in the big office.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
And it all happened. I just I just I just happened.

Speaker 3 (38:00):
I And you know what each one of those things
that they done said about you, that each one of
us saw of you, You're actually doing it every day.

Speaker 1 (38:10):
And that's another thing. God had to show me he
using you in so many ways, you know what.

Speaker 3 (38:16):
And you remember me telling you a long time ago,
and I said, boom, God is getting ready to use both.
I don't know what I'm saying. You don't remember me
telling you. I said, good boob, God is telling me
he gonna use both of us. You remember me saying this,
And I said, I don't know how.

Speaker 1 (38:32):
I don't know how this is.

Speaker 3 (38:32):
Gonna work, but he's gonna use you. And what you're doing,
it's a greater purpose than this, than just what you
think it is. It's something bigger than this. And then
that thing happened while we was on the TV show,
your TV show, And then that's when I learned some
things that when you walked away that I never knew why.

(38:53):
I didn't understand why you was changing. So cause when
you got fifteen and you you was totally changed. I
didn't know you was going through the thing. I was
so busy working. I was a single mom, and I
was so busy trying to work and make a living
to take care of y'all.

Speaker 1 (39:08):
I miss something, and I'll tell you again.

Speaker 3 (39:11):
I'm sorry if I neglected it ain't one of y'all
in any way trying to make a life and a
living to take.

Speaker 1 (39:17):
Care of y'all. Momy, you got to understand that none
of that was your fault, and it was my choice.
Is I met my my wrong, my room.

Speaker 3 (39:24):
For the greatest thing that came out of relationship with
me and your daddy was you. I get it, but
I wish I had to never.

Speaker 1 (39:34):
No, you can't say that, because then we wouldn't be here.
You wouldn't be here. We wouldn't be here today, changing Yes,
we wouldn't be.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
Here today, changing lives. We wouldn't be here today ministering
to people. We wouldn't be here today, trying to make
sure that you know, queer people can see the love
of a parent and their queer child like because because
you know, people throw their queer throw them away because
out on the street, girl, because when you open that

(40:01):
thing up and they those they started writing, y'all kids,
right me.

Speaker 3 (40:07):
It done slowed down from back then to now. But
they used to write me and tell me how some
of you parents throwed them out. At the age of thirteen, twelve, fourteen,
they was raped and ended up catching aids and they
was throwing they was raped where people falsely acting like
they cared about them and rape them and stuff. And
how you throw a child out that young and they

(40:28):
don't even know nothing about life enough to know how
to manage theirself, even though you you was being trained.
All my kids been trained how to work since y'all
have been five years old. But a lot of children
don't have that experience, and they just throw them out
on the street the feast for theirself.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
How can you do that?

Speaker 3 (40:48):
What greatest place of you as a Christian parent or
just a parent to teach.

Speaker 1 (40:54):
Your child.

Speaker 3 (40:56):
For how to live, how to love all these things?
What great a person in you and you Christian parents?
What greater purpose is you right there to show love?
And some of y'all I'm pushed. I hope, I hope
I ain't make you feel that way when I was
taking you the shirt.

Speaker 1 (41:11):
So much, well I did. Well.

Speaker 2 (41:12):
Here, I'll tell you listen, since you asked, you never
put me out, No, I never put you put me out,
But you did tell me that I couldn't wear women's
clothing in the house.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
I didn't even know you was wearing.

Speaker 3 (41:23):
That's when something I heard you say, I didn't know
you was wearing women's clothes. I was when you was
coming back. Okay, you left my house because you said
that I told you that when you when you ended
up losing a place or someone you you told me
you have you can't have too.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
I have two boys in here you can't wear go
that was you had them been out on your own
a little bit. But I didn't expe. I didn't expect,
and I want you to know this today that I didn't.
Looking back, you know, I didn't expect because I was
always I was. I was go get a kid.

Speaker 3 (41:58):
Anyway you you always it was boo from the listen.
What did I just say earlier? You've been a child
that everything you spoke and told me you was the
only child that really listened to me about writing things down.
I wish the other two would do that, because even

(42:19):
me with seeing a purpose, I'll tell anybody out there,
it's a great purpose in writing your vision down or
things you want to see happen. Right to this day,
there's another vision just just came path that been rolled down.
When your brother just got his his his another thing
in his belt, and your other brothers all in October

(42:42):
another thing in his belt. So I'm study seeing things
come in the past that I written down, and even
with you right.

Speaker 1 (42:51):
Now with walking in what you walking and God can
use you. Many people that told me God can't use it,
that's a lie. God can use anything he want.

Speaker 3 (42:57):
If he can use an ass to talk to people
to tell that man not to go in by God peoples,
he can use anybody.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
Well, I want to make sure that we're clear that
you didn't throw me out in the street. No, I
never throwed you out. I was just very much you
chose to go. I did you chose because I needed
I don't I don't like I don't like to be I.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
Don't want you don't want rules over you.

Speaker 3 (43:23):
You don't like rules, and you ain't gonna take too
much joke for nobody. Well, did you better had to
do what I had to take? Case you lived up
in that house, you wouldn't be here right here in today.
You want whoop, I'll still whoop you down today.

Speaker 1 (43:38):
If you push. I'd like to let you know I
was not let you whoop me no more. I won't
try to whoop you. I'll wear you out with something.
It'll be a king. But I want you to know
that I left that house because I was not getting
on my wooden.

Speaker 3 (43:59):
You never was put out. No always You always been
a child that go get them. You always been a
child at what everything? What I have lived and want
you go through everything you have lived and told me
you would do.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
You have done it.

Speaker 3 (44:12):
Yes, and every man and every every man I told
you that I was gonna do. I did it too
well that I didn't know all about. But until I
started sharing, till you start, Yeah, it was a lot.
It's a whole part of your life that I didn't
know about. You miss an area you you you separated you,
but you told me why.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
I remember I learned that through on. I remember I
ran it too in the grocery store one time and
I had on.

Speaker 3 (44:38):
Oh that was when I told you I had heard
Your granddaddy used to always say you and I didn't
understand all that. I'd rather for people to come straight
out with me instead of the hand waving and all this.

Speaker 1 (44:53):
Don't don't beat around the bush with me, Come straight
with if y'all can see, he said I was. But anyway,
he he.

Speaker 3 (45:00):
Used to saying, look the way they dancing, and and
and and this and that and be and I'm gonna
tell y'all something else.

Speaker 1 (45:07):
Be careful how you.

Speaker 3 (45:09):
Magg down on somebody else child that's going through where
their child is gay or something. Are you making fun
of them and laughing and saying negative thing? Because sometimes
God will turn around and allow that same thing to
walk in your camp and see how you deal with it.
Because so many of y'all can sit out there and
tell so many other people how to deal with things

(45:30):
until you walk through it yourself. Nobody can tell nobody
how to walk through nothing until you walk through it yourself.
I don't know the battles that every one of them
who are l G, L, b q Q.

Speaker 1 (45:43):
Queer.

Speaker 3 (45:44):
I don't like to offend nobody because I'm gonna respect
people right where there. All your friends when I meet them.
If they was a boy before I met him, they're
a girl now, I'm gonna call him a girl or
she or she or him.

Speaker 1 (45:58):
Yeah, whatever there is that respect is due to anybody.

Speaker 3 (46:02):
Respect don't cast you nothing, nothing, no matter if you
agree with them or disagree with them. If that's who
they say they are, meet them right where you meet them.
I'm doing people the way God do He meet people
right where they are. Because with all of that and
with all of those things, when God reached that heart,
all that on the outside don't matter. This what's in

(46:23):
the heart that's gonna matter. And the Bible said, if
ain't nobody, who ain't nobody gonna see God? All the
ones who sit up there saying they're Christian, if you
ain't holy, you ain't gonna see God. You can sit
in that church nine in nine years. If that heart
ain't right, you're going right to hell. If we swim,
I'm gonna say it like this, if nobody out there,

(46:44):
if y'all ain't, if y'all a little slaughter than me,
because I've been told I'm slow, but I'm for sure
know that if I swim, come on, tortoise. If they
say we gotta reach one hundred feet, I swim thirty,
you swim sixty. If you didn't make that hundred and

(47:08):
I didn't make that, now one of us made it,
did we correct? Because it say one hundred?

Speaker 1 (47:13):
Right? That's right? Come on, girl, listen, come on.

Speaker 3 (47:16):
Come on. Analogis I'd like to go back to it.
You seeing me in the store with that h in
full regalion. You was at we was at when Dicksie,
when Dixie. And I remember saying, if I ever saw

(47:37):
you in a dress, I weigh your asss out.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
You said, I'd wear your ass eye.

Speaker 3 (47:41):
Yes, if I saw you in a dress, because I
had heard I never seen you. I had heard you
was drenks. People coming. You know how people talk. They
they all the other people been in gossiping. You always
got them gosspelers out there to tell a lie.

Speaker 1 (47:56):
Some of them add on. Some of them are facts.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
Got the person listen, listen. You was in the grocery store.
You was in the pocket lot of the grocery. No,
you was outside.

Speaker 1 (48:09):
I saw you in the foods.

Speaker 3 (48:11):
You know, well when I first saw you, When I
first saw you, Now, it may be another thing that
I don't know about right now, but the one that
I remember very clear.

Speaker 1 (48:20):
You was out there in the pocket lot.

Speaker 3 (48:22):
You was talking to two women, and I part and
I said, I look, did you think you saw yourself?

Speaker 1 (48:28):
Your stand? How my skarlf? How my skin itself over there?

Speaker 3 (48:32):
Well, when some of your stuff, in your videos and stuff,
I had to look. We do look alike, but you
look more like your auntie. But glad, but I ain't
going ahead. You was in that pocket lot and I
saw you with that dress on it. You was talking, baby,
You was talking. But as I went to wal, I
looked out like I didn't see you. I walked right
on by.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
Baby.

Speaker 3 (48:52):
When I saw you come, you will come you making
sure that I kept walking you because you know, when
I'm a person on my.

Speaker 1 (48:58):
Word, if I say i'm an do some'ma do it?

Speaker 3 (49:00):
You know that on me?

Speaker 1 (49:02):
Baby. The way you were looking because you you, I
think you was ready for me to to to jab you.
I was gonna whoop your ass that that was gonna.

Speaker 3 (49:10):
Be one day we were gonna both both asked, was
you gonna have a woide ass that day?

Speaker 1 (49:16):
I was gonna whoop your ass?

Speaker 3 (49:18):
Baby, Yo, excuse me, y'all excuse me. Your ass would
have been flowed that day and you wouldn't be here today,
So I was gonna get it went anyway? What kept
me from putting my hands on you? And I looked
at you as it was a police over in the
poking lot, and I said, I ain't going to jail

(49:40):
for nobody, but I wanted to put my hands on you.

Speaker 1 (49:45):
Hm. Why I don't know.

Speaker 3 (49:47):
It's just that you didn't have to. Why couldn't you
come and talk. I always asked you why you felt
you couldn't come and talk to me about that.

Speaker 1 (49:57):
Your changes.

Speaker 3 (49:59):
I got with you you had told me because I
learned a lot when we did the TS Madison experience.

Speaker 1 (50:04):
You said you had to go away to find yourself.
Most most of us do.

Speaker 3 (50:09):
So that what that explained to me when you left
and I was I was so hurt and I didn't understand.

Speaker 1 (50:16):
I was like, why, what, what's going on? What did
I do?

Speaker 2 (50:18):
What did I do wrong? As a parent, This is
what a parent go through with a child as this
is a part of the morning process. Part you go
through a part of a part of you, like what
did I do wrong?

Speaker 1 (50:30):
Question one? Did anybody touch my child? Question two? Is
it something? God?

Speaker 3 (50:36):
What?

Speaker 1 (50:37):
It's so many, you got so many questions you just
don't know.

Speaker 3 (50:40):
But the two main question is is what did I
do wrong? And who touched who touched my child? And
somebody gonna.

Speaker 1 (50:48):
Kill my child? Three?

Speaker 2 (50:49):
So those are the top three questions. So do you
think that it has been conditioned into people? Yes, that
in order for your child to be identify as trans
or gay, someone had to have touched them.

Speaker 3 (51:08):
It's it's it's it's making with the way everybody's keep
saying that people have to be touched because these are
the things they say, just the condition that because these
are the things that I heard as I.

Speaker 1 (51:19):
Learned, Like I say, I learned, I'm learning so many
things through you.

Speaker 3 (51:24):
I know the gay people, but I really didn't you
know what they because you never gay, but you never
had any gay friends. The only time that I've ever
that I ever was around you and I knew that
somebody was gay, it was our cousin Ronnie.

Speaker 1 (51:38):
Mm hmm, you got them wrong, You got the wrong name.
It was it was Robert, Robert.

Speaker 3 (51:44):
Yeah. And then it was another one, Larry and Mama
on Now that one that was the one that we
that Larry was the one that.

Speaker 1 (51:54):
I learned what gay people.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
I remember that I didn't know Larry is gone now, yeah,
but I remember when I first met Larry, like Larry
was Larry was.

Speaker 1 (52:04):
I thought I saw Larry as a girl, because I don't.

Speaker 3 (52:08):
Know he had he always kept his hair curly, was
wearing that kind of stuff like Jane Brown.

Speaker 1 (52:15):
Does that make sense? The kind of have stopped.

Speaker 2 (52:19):
There was film, Yeah, and that's when we found that
was what's his name Robert, Robert, Robert. I remember Robert
was in the in the in that bed he got
sick and they was talking about it. Yeah, And I
remember looking at Robert in that bed when we was
at a mini house and I remember, see these are

(52:40):
things that you don't know. That was etched in my
brain that I remember looking at Robert in that bed
while we was at a mini house, and I was like,
I can't never say nothing, because once you say you're gay,
because of the the the ignorance surrounded around age or HIV,

(53:00):
it automatically meant that you had you were, you were
going to get AIDS and it was it was automatic.
That's an automatic gay and age ran hand in hand.
So I couldn't say I just wish.

Speaker 1 (53:14):
You would have let me know then, because when I
found out that you was gay, was at that party.
I'm not gay. I'm a head of sexual transsextion.

Speaker 3 (53:21):
I'm talking about before you, before you, before you translated
to the to the feeling.

Speaker 1 (53:27):
Let's be clear to the people, I'm a heterosexual transsection.
I don't have here to this.

Speaker 3 (53:31):
Yeah, and for you women's out there, Oh, this is
my chance for you women out there who say these
the trans women out there fooling them. Men. Girl, y'all
better get y'allself together. The man's fooling y'all. Hey, hear
what I'm telling you.

Speaker 1 (53:47):
I'm on the NBA, I'm on the NDA.

Speaker 3 (53:52):
I can't say but so much, but I'm gonna say this,
y'all better take he even what boot telling y'all.

Speaker 1 (53:59):
I'm gonna living witness they lie.

Speaker 3 (54:04):
To y'all female, because look, when they do try to
tell y'all something, y'all shut them out. If they want
to share with y'all, if they did lay with one
of them, y'all, y'all beat them down so bad.

Speaker 1 (54:18):
Who want to tell y'all something?

Speaker 3 (54:20):
If I was a man, I wouldn't tell you if
I was getting me a trans if listen if I was.
If I was a man and I was I had
slept with a train, I wouldn't want to tell nobody
either way.

Speaker 1 (54:30):
They beat them down. But the men that I see
come at you, honey.

Speaker 3 (54:34):
The men, y'all gonna be so y'all women gonna be
so messed up and so fooled cause y'all think they
the men that with the little twitch in them.

Speaker 1 (54:44):
Baby, let me.

Speaker 3 (54:45):
Tell y'all something them things finest one talk most sexy
tone or make y'all. Some of y'all jump out, y'all drawers,
and they just look at.

Speaker 1 (54:56):
You were the un the unknown.

Speaker 3 (55:02):
It's just they're gonna be blowing away the the fact
that the matter is they are. They have jumped out
of the raw. And then they say, then you all
say that what man would want? My will look at
the trans woman and look at y'all and want them
to they look at that woman when they first see
them and they see a woman, and you too, y'all
just out there trying to act like y'all stupid or something.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
Y'all look at my baby.

Speaker 3 (55:26):
Y'all don't see no man, then see female and I
see all my all the friends and something.

Speaker 1 (55:32):
Baby.

Speaker 3 (55:33):
Listen, ladies, ladies, I'm gonna say some of y'all do
need to step. Y'all pussies up. Eu me lord, I'll
take that back about puss y'all. Y'all need the need
to step, y'all need to step, y'all step, y'all stuff up.
I'm sorry, and I'm a woman. I'm a woman, and
it's and it's hurt me to my heart to say it,

(55:55):
but some of them carry theirself, keep themselves better than
we do better than us. I hate to say it,
but it's the truth. And y'all can get mad with me,
and don't try to because I will put a block
part on you. I don't hear none of you what
you say. I ain't like my child. I ain't gonna
go back and before I'm gonna say what I gotta

(56:16):
say one time, and you ain't. You won't be able
to see no more on my own, on my thing
unless you make another stuff.

Speaker 1 (56:23):
But the truth is the truth.

Speaker 3 (56:24):
A lot of us don't want to admit the truth.
Some of them carry themselves better than us.

Speaker 1 (56:30):
Talk about me. I don't want to talk about some
of them talk about me. How I care?

Speaker 3 (56:33):
Message well, you carry yourself more of a female than
I see some women.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
And I'm your mama, and I know what I had.
I had a son.

Speaker 3 (56:40):
You did, and I'm looking at it when I look
at you. Every day you live your life as a woman.
Every single day. You do more of yourself as a
woman than I even do for me.

Speaker 1 (56:51):
Because some of that stuff you do, I ain't doing
all that well. Mother.

Speaker 2 (56:55):
I'd like to explain why unless it is not but
keeping myself looking good. Listen, that one thing is I
want to go back to the top of the kevin.
I'm fat as a balloon. But whatever you fed as
a balloon small as a tree.

Speaker 1 (57:09):
I ain't live.

Speaker 2 (57:11):
I ain't never seen my mama walk outside and she
wasn't done. My mama would get hot as fish grease
if I brought somebody over there and she wasn't together. Oh, yes,
she had to be together. Her house had to be there.
Those are things I don't play. My mama don't play
none of that. I ain't never seen my mama. I
ain't never seen my mama havese. Ever since I know
my mama, she don't want a wrap around the ankle.

Speaker 3 (57:33):
Shoot, baby, I can't wear them now because they swell up.

Speaker 1 (57:37):
That that that that that that injury. Don that injury.
I went through that big old hole in my leg.

Speaker 2 (57:43):
I want to talk about that before we got girl.
But but ever since I know my mama, she had
a scrap around the ankle. Did you used to dance back?
I love to dance and still a dance now.

Speaker 3 (57:53):
The Bible said there's a time, and there's a time
and a season for everything. And there's nothing new under
the sun. That's why so sick of the people about
y'all talking about these gay people that had to be
way back then it was, and and other cultures we
were worshiped.

Speaker 1 (58:08):
We were worshiped.

Speaker 3 (58:09):
Yes, I learned, this is what I'm telling y'all, learned
things from you, because I ain't know some of this
stuff I done learned.

Speaker 1 (58:15):
I learned it from you where you done took me
and showed me.

Speaker 2 (58:17):
I've shown you and then I have shown you stories
and documentaries and stuff like this, and you're like, oh
my god.

Speaker 1 (58:24):
I didn't know that.

Speaker 3 (58:25):
It's so many things I learned. This is why y'all
need to stop throwing y'all children away. You have beautiful blessings.
They're still your blessing. These children are so talented. They
have so many different talents. I know mine you, yes,
but I want to speak on that. But Mammy, I
want to say, I've never seen you and this that

(58:46):
was that was the thing for me. My mama gonna
put on her You know, the trans girls used to
back when I was younger. When I was but I
was getting my hair done too.

Speaker 2 (58:55):
Yeah, you just get your hair to all that trans
the trans girls used to be picking on me because
I would wear eye shadow and blush. I saw my
mama wear eyes shadow and bluod still will and they
was picking on me. They was like, oh, girl, if
you want to be real fish, we're real fish.

Speaker 1 (59:12):
Don't wear out there.

Speaker 2 (59:12):
I said, well, ship the realist fish. I know it's
my fucking mama A girl. You know, I don't care
nothing about when you already know. You see how they
talking about my hat, my my wigs and stuff. Some
of them you buying, some of I buy myself. Mary
macken'swell where I make this clear out loud so you
all won't ever forget it. Don't ever come for my child.

Speaker 3 (59:32):
For whatever I put on, you come at me because
whatever I wear, don't wear it is because I don't
want to or I do. I don't do nothing for
other people what they want in their life for me
to do, it's what it's about me, what I want,
what I like, and I'm going to do that.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
And if I get fat as a I've seen you
wear wrap around shoe and that's what kind of made
me like scrap around the ankle shoes.

Speaker 1 (59:57):
I love the heels I love, you know, I and
I love them. You were them.

Speaker 3 (01:00:01):
Strapped around because I had big legs, big hill and
I was curvy. Now I was a little brick house,
and then it was a brick house, honey. And then
you got a little bit bigger, honey, and you became
a warehouse. And when you found the law, you became
a house.

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
Glory.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
Now when you when you made the statement and we're
gonna come around, we're gonna close out. And when you
made the statement that I lived my life as a woman,
and I do I do more, it's not I do
more in a in a Because I want to clear
this up so that people listening, it's not that that win.

Speaker 3 (01:00:53):
I want to make sure I say that right now.
They'll take it and running. You said it correctly, a
different director, you said you said it correctly, because I'm
fin I'm finna. When I say this, you're gonna really
fly off. It's not that we're doing it in competition.
I know that I was born male. What women tend

(01:01:14):
to do is get comfortable with just being women. True,
and they think that, well, I got a pussy and
so I don't gotta do all that, and they say
he's talking about me. He got to do all that
because he ain't got no pussy.

Speaker 2 (01:01:28):
But then when the niggas be sliding over there to
the side, because we because take it care of our
pheromones is pheromony, Our lipstick is lipstick, and our shoes
are rapping around the hill.

Speaker 1 (01:01:41):
We got on our it rings.

Speaker 2 (01:01:43):
We got on the things that we know that we've
seen attractive women do that we as trans women have
found attractor and we are emulating those attractive women.

Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
And then the mins is over there, like damn.

Speaker 2 (01:01:55):
And girl, you built up like the women that are
in my family. I'm built up like a lot of
the women that be talking about me. Yes, and look
better some of the ones that I have seen come
for you. Y'all have no business. Don't do it because
my child will read. I don't like my child doing
some of the things when my child will read. But
y'all ask for it.

Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
Don't come. You don't call for nobody. They won't comfort you.
Don't do it.

Speaker 3 (01:02:19):
Don't do it if you don't want your feelings hurt,
don't do it because this one.

Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
Can go in.

Speaker 2 (01:02:24):
But Mama, I want you to speak to that for
a moment, just for a second. Then we're gonna close
out because I want to go back one more time
and time, and then we're gonna call women get comfortable
being Oh I'm just a woman. Yeah, as a trans woman,
I could never be comfortable because I know that I
am not a female.

Speaker 1 (01:02:42):
Because I say that I am not a female. I
know that I'm not a female.

Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
I know this, so nobody don't have to constantly keep
reminding me, like, oh, you will never be a woman.
You'll never I know this. So I'm gonna keep my
my up, keep gonna be up. I'm gonna always smell nice.
I mean, I have no I said, but you do that.
I may not have no pussy, but I'm gonna smell
like I got one. I'm talking about a sweet pussy.
I'm gonna have my motherfucking feet done. My nails are

(01:03:08):
gonna be whooped. Everything that I find feminine, you know,
even even with them carrying myself, even even with the
way that I govern myself, even if even walking into
my home, like you walk into my home, you don't
think no man living in the house, No my bedroom,
my sheets, my yeah, it's just.

Speaker 3 (01:03:28):
Yeah, you know, yeah, and it is we as women,
we do get too comfortable because but I well, some
of them. There's some peas that smells. Oh god, Mama,
there's some peas that smell. We some of us women
don't take care of some of us ain't been taught
right how to do with our hygiene.

Speaker 1 (01:03:48):
Buoy. It's the truth.

Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
Well, because a lot of women, because here's how we
finna do this, maw. A lot of women can have children,
but they're not mothers. So let's be clear when when
when bitches be telling me you ain't know this.

Speaker 1 (01:04:02):
No, I may not be a female, but I'm a woeman.

Speaker 2 (01:04:05):
You know how to say like some people say, well,
I birth some of you have just birth kids, but
you're not a mother, right.

Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
I look at you many times, and I'm telling you
I know what I had, I know what I birth.
I don't need nobody coming to me telling me. And
if you feel you feel comfortable, you're happy with who
you are, I'm happy for you. I rather have a
live child than a dead one.

Speaker 1 (01:04:32):
Yep. And Mama, let me tell you something what I've
never mean.

Speaker 2 (01:04:35):
Let me tell you what I've never required of you
that I think that, but you've gotten so you've gotten
real great down the line. I never required you to
she and her me because I know what you know
you've birthed, but over time you because I'm learning, because
it's what you see like my presentation is that, but
I haven't. I didn't lay that requirement on you to

(01:04:57):
do that because I know the morning part. I said,
who's to say? When do you stop?

Speaker 1 (01:05:02):
Morning?

Speaker 3 (01:05:03):
I still have my moments of things. You know, I
still have my moments a thing, and I don't want you.

Speaker 1 (01:05:10):
It's like this with me, boo.

Speaker 3 (01:05:11):
I don't when I mess around and call you tim
on him. It ain't It ain't out of a place
to tear you down.

Speaker 1 (01:05:19):
I know that, Mommy.

Speaker 3 (01:05:19):
I don't want to see you toe down, even with
you walking in your life the way you is. I
know what the Bible say. I don't need nobody coming
and telling me about the bid because I get it
all the time. They tell me I'm being I'm going
to hell because I condone you, and I know you
shouldn't be calling you.

Speaker 1 (01:05:36):
You know you had a son. You should be calling
me him. I'm not doing that.

Speaker 3 (01:05:41):
Out of respect for others. I don't have to like
everything you do. You understand me, in order to respect you.
Respect is due to anybody you you to me, you
have I don't know you blossom since you became a
who you feel you that one with myself, yourself then

(01:06:04):
the person that I used to know as my son,
you done blossom so much. I'm totally at peace and
I'm and I'm learning to be at peace with that
because you're you. Because at the end of the day,
what I like or don't like, agree or don't agree,
you still gonna have to face the make of yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:06:25):
I gotta face to.

Speaker 3 (01:06:26):
Make it for myself. You can't stand for me and
I can't stand for you. The only thing I want
that the only thing that I want to be left
when I dialet this place, is that you learn from
me is that my mama loved it me unconditionally. My
mother was there for me, and my mother tried to
instill in me that word of God.

Speaker 1 (01:06:47):
I still got it. It's their baby.

Speaker 3 (01:06:50):
And you're coming out many times when you think it,
don't even though you be doing it foolishness.

Speaker 1 (01:06:54):
Oh, I cuss with it now.

Speaker 3 (01:06:55):
You be doing some foolish but that but that's that's
what I'm seeing. God is using you're in a different way,
but he using both of us.

Speaker 1 (01:07:04):
You know I like to get you know, I like
to get used. What I like to get used? Use
how I don't want to be using that way. This
is marining.

Speaker 3 (01:07:13):
So if I got to catch you before you go
too far, mine ain't being used.

Speaker 1 (01:07:18):
It's off limit right now? Would you would?

Speaker 3 (01:07:21):
So?

Speaker 2 (01:07:21):
When the last time you've been with him it was
two thousand and five, that's the last ten thousand and
five or two thousand and four.

Speaker 1 (01:07:26):
Do you feel like you've become closer to God that
you now that you've done. Don't get it.

Speaker 3 (01:07:30):
It's not about it's not about all. It's not about
being close to God. You know what it's about to me?
It's when I watch every one of my children and
when I go in prayer, when y'all travel, when y'all
go places, y'all do things. When I see things happening
in your life and my child, like I know, they say,

(01:07:50):
God ain't gonna bless you because of your you are.

Speaker 1 (01:07:55):
Listen, your name before you, before the change, your name
is honor God.

Speaker 3 (01:08:01):
And before you was when when after me giving my
life to the Lord, and I learned things in the
Bible that I didn't know, and I'm studying learning you'll
never stop learning in the word. I might not get
it all right. I'll never say I'm perfect. I never
try to act perfect because ie, one wrong move, I
I hate too many arguments, or go to bed with

(01:08:23):
something holding in my heart, I can go to hell
just like that.

Speaker 1 (01:08:27):
You know.

Speaker 3 (01:08:28):
That's why I'm telling people being so judgmental. So many
people walking around with so much foolishness in their heart
and sit up in the church every day and think
they going in. Y'all a lot of y'all gonna make
it in before they do.

Speaker 1 (01:08:40):
I'm gonna definitely get in there. I believe that, cause
that's what I want to ask you. Believe if I
left here today, I will go to heaven. I believe that.

Speaker 3 (01:08:50):
I believe that because of my prayer. I don't care
what nobody I see. When when you walking with God,
you gotta learn to tune all the other stuff around
you out because there'll be a lot of voices coming
in your head. And this will I always tell you
to tell you get your own relationship with God. Read
that word for yourself, because you.

Speaker 1 (01:09:08):
Can read that stript.

Speaker 3 (01:09:09):
That Bible is a living Bible. You can read something
today tomorrow, go back and you will get it. Get
something tomorrow, go back and read that same stript. He'll
show you something else. It's a living word boo. I
believe what's in the world. I don't understand everything in there,
but I believe every word of it. But I also
believe is.

Speaker 2 (01:09:31):
Even though you Trent, because we learned, we learned a
new term from you on the ts.

Speaker 3 (01:09:39):
Anyway, I know that God can use you just the
way you are. I also learned that God meet people
right where they at, right where you at, when He
come to you. That's why I tell anybody out there,
if you looking for God, all you gotta do is
call on him. I don't care what you done done,
how many times you undone it, how many times you

(01:10:01):
did it with him. If you open your mouth and
ask God to come in your heart and save you,
that's the kind of God.

Speaker 1 (01:10:09):
I know He got that much love that he'll reach
right down where you at.

Speaker 3 (01:10:14):
And matter of fact, he calling on every one of
us every single day. But are we taking the call?
There's something else you want to say before you.

Speaker 1 (01:10:23):
I want to say that I know that you. I
know that you.

Speaker 2 (01:10:32):
Have consecrated your coaching to the Lord and he's he's
able to.

Speaker 1 (01:10:36):
But that ain't the reason why I did that. Because
God been so good to me. Well, Mama, dingling is
so good to me. Is good, baby, But it ain't
better than God.

Speaker 3 (01:10:47):
Oh that might be the time of the show. Dingling
is good, but it ain't better than God.

Speaker 1 (01:10:53):
God done gone God.

Speaker 3 (01:10:55):
And I'll tell you women's out there, you single moms,
don't always. Don't count on a man. The Bible say,
put your trust in no man. Learn to count on God.
He say he'll be your husband. Because I raised three children.
I was married, I was a singer, I had boo
out of wed lock. The other one I was my

(01:11:17):
last one.

Speaker 1 (01:11:18):
I was raped. I was raped. But all I can
tell you don't count on no man for everything.

Speaker 3 (01:11:28):
You've got to count on God, because a man will
be with you today and forget you tomorrow. And you ladies,
you turn on your children for a man. M m
mm hmm, don't do that, because when a man long gone,
when no children are still there, and if some men
all calls you or get jealous of your children, and y'all, y'all,

(01:11:49):
some of y'all women out there, y'all too easy to
bring a man in your house, and you got daughters
and son. Now you gotta be careful because some of
these men raping your daughters and your son, and y'all
too easy. You're too easy to let them in your house.
You too were women. Women were too easy. We give
ourself up, too easy for a man. We give our

(01:12:11):
all in all, and then they'll turn around and walk
away from it. And you can cook, clean, you can
do all those things. You can love him right, clean
for him, cook for him. He's still if he want
to do wrong, he gonna do it. So don't beat
yourself up for that. You can give your best to
anybody if they just don't want it, they just don't
want it.

Speaker 1 (01:12:30):
That's it, all right, Mama. Thank you for being here
with us. You know I love you. I think that
this was so much better than the first one. It was.
This one is so much I didn't quite.

Speaker 3 (01:12:40):
Understand all the questions. The other one I kid, and
I don't like when I don't understand.

Speaker 1 (01:12:44):
Sometimes it's the tortoise in you, but you get there.
What is a tortoise?

Speaker 3 (01:12:49):
Girl?

Speaker 1 (01:12:49):
Bye? Anyway?

Speaker 2 (01:12:53):
Yes, thank you, mama, Thank you for letting me know
that you do believe that I'm going to heavey where boo,
and also thank you for letting us know that digger
may be good, but ain't nothing better.

Speaker 3 (01:13:01):
I ain't never had no d that good to make
me turn on my children and walk it with a girl.
And you y'all women out there, feed y'all children, reveiotas
and give your man crab lobster and your children over
there eating man. My children will be eating them lost
from that nigga be eating at Revotie, y'all.

Speaker 1 (01:13:19):
Do y'all feed them? Men's well up, y'all? Can we
google Revovira anyway? Ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 2 (01:13:26):
This has been the out Lost podcast with no other
than my mother, Miss miss Tis, Miss Mary.

Speaker 1 (01:13:31):
Test, Miss Mary.

Speaker 2 (01:13:32):
Y'all put y'all hands together for miss Mary Hunter. We
did a good y'all. Thank you Mama, love you here well.
I think I miss the you know you did by Girl.

Speaker 3 (01:13:44):
Outlaus is a production of The Outspoken Network from iHeart
Podcasts and Turtle Run Entertainment. Created by Tyler ra Benowitz
and Olivia Piece. I'm your host, Tis Madison.

Speaker 2 (01:13:55):
We are executive produced by Tyler Rabnowitz, Maya Howard and
Tis Madison, our supervising producer is Jessica Krinchich, and our
producers are Joey Pat and Common Bra. Our video editor
is Tyler Rabinowitz and our sound editor is Jes Crincic.
Our associate producer is Trent high Tower Special thanks to
our producer's.

Speaker 1 (01:14:16):
Assistant, Daniel Rabinowitz.

Speaker 2 (01:14:18):
Our theme song is composed by Wazi merrit Our show
art is by Pablo Montanina.

Speaker 1 (01:14:24):
Got You Next Week, Honey,