Bert Kreischer: The Running Life Nobody Knew About

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I've lived a more eventful, crazy, productive, celebratory life than
ninety nine point nine nine percent of this world. Running
has always been a part of my life. My dad
was a marathon runner. He should open a box of
wine on my treadmill and then drink and then next
thing you know, you're running thirteen miles at night.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
It's amazing what you can do when you're a little
bit buzz. People kind of associate partying chaos with you.
Running is almost this like juxtaposition to that.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
I'm a huge juxtaposition.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Bert Kreischer is one of the hardest working comedians in
the game. He sold out Arenas, built one of the
biggest comedy podcasts out there, and made a career out
of being completely himself. In this episode, we get into
the full picture of who Bert is, a lifelong runner,
a self made comedian, and a father and husband who
is just as honest off the stage as he is honest.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
You gotta be yourself, That's what Will Smith told me.
He told me that a urinal when both are treu,
what would.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
You say are the biggest ways that you've grown?

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Listening to myself is probably my biggest physical growth. Am
I going to fail on someone else's advice or fail
on my own advice.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Hi guys, Kate here, thank you so much for tuning
into today's conversation with Bert Kreischer. If you are enjoying
post run high, please be sure to follow wherever you're listening,
and we will be right back after this short break.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
When I used to drink and run because I used
to open a box of wine on my treadmill and
then drink watch Guy Fieris, go dinners, drive ins and
dives and get on the treadmill late at night, put
the girls down, I get opened a box of wine,
get on the treadmill. My wife would come out. We
had a man cave. It was the greatest thing I
ever owned in my entire life, possibly my favorite house
I've ever lived in. And the competitive spirit in your
head where you go, all right, I'm gonna do five miles,

(01:45):
and then you get five miles, you go, fuck it,
let's do seven. And then you're like, god, damn, it
wouldn't be great if I did thirteen tonight. And then
next thing you know, you're running thirteen miles at night,
drinking a box of wine hammered. By the end, you know,
I used to laugh so hard buzzed on a tread
because I would I would watch movies and then run
like they did, like or or I'd go like, all right,

(02:07):
let's let's do this next mile. We're gonna do a
Master's walk on the eighteenth hole, and so for like
a mile, I'd be like it was I it was
the funnest. But that competitive spirit is what I identify with.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
And also the buzz is the keyword there, because it's
amazing what you can do when you're a little bit buzzed.

Speaker 1 (02:26):
I do have to say, I wonder, you know, I
see these kids online eating edibles before they.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
Go for TI the gummies. I need to do it.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
How do we know they're real gummies?

Speaker 2 (02:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:35):
You see them put them in their mouths, and you're like, guys,
those could just be a gummy.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
I started watching this kid's video the other day where
he was doing some sort of gummy challenge where he
was like popping a five miligram gummy like I don't
even I forget, I'm so bad. I can't. I don't
know exactly what it was. And I didn't finish watching it,
but I saved it because I'm like, I need to
go back to this video to see the end result.
He was running like twenty two miles or something and
having a gummy like maybe every half mile. But I
don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
I worked out high time only one time. Hi. I
hated it. I hated it. It was I was like,
I felt like I was in like my feet were
in pillows, and I was like, Uh, I like working out.
Stone's working out, Stone's sober, lots of coffee and uh.
And I don't mind working out hungover, but you know,

(03:21):
I haven't dranken like four months or I guess, I
don't know. I don't know three months, four months. And
I love this working out because you get there and
then you're like, oh, I'm in it. Oh this is great.
Oh if I push hard, I'll see changes I supposed
to hungover workout. You're like, let's just get through it.
This is to punish myself for my behavior yesterday. Let's

(03:44):
get to the end of this and if we go
really hard, we know we'll feel great at the end.
I love the post workout high.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
Yeah, that's great. That's the name of the show. Post
ran high. Let's go. Although one of your bus drivers
told us that we should probably rebrand the show to
Out of Breath, And as soon as he said that,
I was like, I kind of like that.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
That Brea is a good name. It's a good name.
It's almost like a hot one's challenge. You get someone
you're you get them like just on a on a
salt bike, and you're like, or you get them on
like you get them on a treadmill, and it keeps
going up as the questions get harder. So what was
it like working with Ryan Reynolds? Fuck him, he's an asshole.

(04:21):
I'm Bert.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
We do that show sometimes, Well, we did it last
year in the winter when we were in New York
because it was too cold to right outside and a
guest would come on. We'd be on these two Peloton treads.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
And two Peloton treads used to be so legit. They
were good. They've kind of fallen off. Can I tell
you the best purchase I ever made in my life?
This is I'm a broken person. I always believe spend
a little extra on the things you'll use. I always
believe that. Now. My wife's a redneck. Grew up barefoot
up until third grade, went to school barefoot until third grade.
Like poor as an understatement, Our first major purchase was

(04:54):
a vacuum. Now, we didn't have a ton of money.
We didn't get money until I was like thirty nine.
I think, and like, where you're like not worried about money,
you know where You're like, Okay, we can now go
on vacation. We were thirty two. I was thirty two,
she was thirty four, and we needed a vacuum. When

(05:14):
I went online and I looked at vacuums and there
was a vacuum called a Malay, and I went, that's
the best vacuum out there. She goes, we can't afford that.
It was eight hundred dollars, and I said, and my
sisters needed a vacuum at the same time. I said, listen,
we can go to Target and get a vacuum, but
we're gonna buy another vacuum in a year eight months.
Why don't we get the good vacuum and it'll last forever.

(05:35):
And she goes, that's not how life works. You just
you get what you get, and you get enough to
get by. And I splurged and I bought us a
baby blue Malay. We had that thing, no lie for
seventeen years. My sisters bought in a vacuum at the

(05:55):
exact same time, the roller ball vacuum that could go
like this that. I asked them how many vacuums when
we got rid of them last How many vauums do
you think you guys have had? And my sister Catty said,
I couldn't tell you one hundred and I went, wow,
So you spent roughly ten thousand dollars on vacuums over here.
Because it accumulates, you don't think about it. So my birthdays,

(06:20):
it's November twenty nineteen, and I say to the end,
I want a treadmill. Now we don't We have a
little bit of money, but we're not wealthy. We're not
like rich. But I got a preface because they're expensive treadmills.
They're ten thousand dollars for a woodway. And I said,
can I tell you what I really want for my birthday?
She said what? And I said, I want a wood way.
I did the research. It's the best treadmill you can buy,

(06:43):
a woodway treadmill. And my wife said, we can't afford that,
and I said, I no, but it's what I want
and I will use it and I'll never get another treadmill. Now,
I had a great treadmill for twelve hundred dollars. That
was a foldable treadmill. We use that forever. We burned
that thing out, but we had to do so much
work on it because I'd break the base. It is
such a long winded answer for why I wo love
Woodway twenty nineteen. I buy a woodway. This is how

(07:04):
nice woodways are. They show up on a flatbed truck
and let you test them out on the back of
a flatbed truck to pick the one you want. Ten
thousand dollars, I buy a woodway. Pandemic hits twenty twenty
and I got the best damn treadmill you can have.
I am running on that treadmill every day. I got
on that treadmill and I said, buddy, I love you.
I love this treadmill. And I was, and I to

(07:26):
this day. Every time I get on that treadmill. I'm
so grateful but that I bought the best treadmill you
can get because I look forward to using it. I
love using it. I love when my dad comes in
town and I go, Dad, get on the woodway, and
he goes, Buddy, they hurt my knees. I go, not
the woodway. This is an industrial, badass treadmill. I love
that treadmill.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
And it doesn't like bounce, Like there's so many treadmills,
do you know what I'm talking about? Where you get
on them and they kind of bounce a little bit,
and I'm like, it doesn't bounce it.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
Yes, it doesn't bounce it. On now, I wouldn't mind
a little more display friendly stuff like I gotta put
my readers on to see my pace.

Speaker 2 (07:59):
But I kind of like that. It's no frills though,
Like I like that it doesn't have a big screen.
I'm into it. There's so I didn't realize.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Hold on, I don't need a forest when I run.
Can I ask you a weird runner's question? Can we
put this in the comments? So we're runners and we're
all talking, just talking to runners right now. When you
go into a hotel and the screen says where would
you like the jog? And you go, well, I wouldn't
mind jogging through Italy today. So you pipe in Italy
and then it comes up and then you jog through

(08:26):
the streets of Italy and people come walking towards you.
Are those people AI or are those real people that
they had to get releases from.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
I think of that every time I get on a treadmill.
By the way, I could talk to you for five
hours about running.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
Okay, I love knowing this. So I didn't realize that
you have such a running background because the first time
that Burton I met was the Netflix is a Joke
five K two years ago. You were hosting it, you
and Tom. You guys pulled Jelly into it. Jelly ended
up being in our video.

Speaker 1 (08:56):
I would like to argue that we are responsible for
Jelly's weight, lost, turn whatever. Keep going.

Speaker 2 (09:01):
That was the beginning of his weed last journey.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
I know I don't get enough props keep going.

Speaker 2 (09:06):
Well, first, let's say how did that happen? How did
the run with the five K with Jelly roll come
to be? And then we got to tell the story
of your running journey because your dad's a marathon or
I have so.

Speaker 1 (09:15):
Much to talk about I have to say Jelly, it
just Delly did it on his own. So Tom and
I were just we were doing a podcast. They were
like when we go in into this release and they're
like January first, and I was like, oh my god,
I was like, well resolutions, and Tom had just run
a turkey trot with his buddy who had cancer back
in in Delray or wherever Tom's from, and he and
he had liked it. Now. I grew up running. My

(09:36):
dad was a marathon runner. I ran five k's turkey trots,
I ran ten k's, I ran half marathons. I've always run.
I always do the Spartan I did the first tough
motor they ever did in Jersey, one of the first
round of them. I enjoy I enjoy the energy. It's
a great way to cheat a workout. If you go,

(09:56):
if you're not a runner, to go to a five k,
to go to it. Ten k half marathon's a lot.
A marathon's way too aggressive, But a spartan race ad
tough mutter. It's a great way to spend a Saturday
and cheat a workout. You're gonna you're gonna burn a
ton of calories and you won't notice it because you
have so many people around you. It really is, you
get immersed into it. And so I told Tom that,

(10:18):
I said, I love racist And I said, candidly, you
know we're at the time I think we were getting
in shape and I was like, I was like, we
should do a five K at two Bears five K.
You know, let's get our fans healthy so that we
always have fans so they don't die before us, because
if they die, we don't have anywhere to perform as
a joke. And then we said, let's do it two
Bears five K. My wife got ahold of it. My

(10:38):
wife spearheaded it, started putting it together. She got in
touch with Netflix. Netflix was like, we'd love to do it.
Let's do it for the two Bears five K. Let's
do it for Netflix as a joke, and Jelly heard
about it. Now at the time, I think Jelly's and
I apologize if this is insensitive. Around five hundred pounds
six pound, five hundred pounds, and he goes on nelt Boys.
Shout out to Nelk Boys, they've still never run it,

(10:59):
and I know they're getting it shape. He gets on
Elk Boys and he goes, you know, I'm gonna do
the Two Bears five K. Now what that does is
it puts an onus on Jelly to maintain health. But
more importantly, it blows the fuck up out of our
five K. And People Magazine writes about our five k
and we hold our first five k. Jelly, it's his
first five k he's ever run. Very beautiful moment of

(11:21):
just people, Me, Bunny, Leanne and Jelly crossing the finish line.
He's crying, Bunny's crying, Jelly. You know, it's like five
hundred pounds at the time, and Bunny's like, this is
the change he needed. And she said, quote unquote, you
might have just saved his life. That's such a powerful
thing to say to someone who was just trying to
think of content to serve up January first. And so

(11:44):
I got really invested in it, and we did it again.
We did it in Tampa. I think the I think
it was like eight thousand people in Tampa. We're doing
it again May ninth at the Rose Bowl for Netflix
as a joke. And and but running has always been
a part of my life. My dad always ran. I
would run. I would run every five k, every turkey trot,

(12:06):
every every short distance I'd run with my dad. My
dad had a beautiful stride, like he really had a
runner stride. I always wanted to do a podcast called
Rate that Stride because when you when you're a runner
and you watch people run some people you're like, you
don't run, and then some people you're like, oh, you run,
And so I marathons. I would always be his pace guy.

(12:27):
Like I'd always get in the car with my uncles
or my mom and sisters and we'd go to different
mile markers to get him, you know, you know, whatever
he needed throughout the race. So I grew up going
to races and U and I grew up running with
my dad. I'd run fart licks, my dad would take me.
I ran track in high school because my dad and
my dad would take me to the track and we'd
run fart licks, we'd run ladders, we'd run everything. And

(12:51):
I knew who Steve Prefontainne was, way before anyone knew
who Steve Prefontainne was. I knew Frank Shore. Uh, this
is so silly. It's almost like talking about content now,
like we know names and content that people watching don't know.

(13:11):
Like Casey nystad Is is one of the ogs in
this content.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
Field, big runner, big runner, friend of the show.

Speaker 1 (13:18):
By the way, good good stride, pretty gat stride. He
runs awesome, but count in cases a great analogy for
what we're talking about. What I'm about to transition into
but but so as just as we're in the know
about these content creators that may maybe not everyone knows
about because we were there at the beginning. My dad
was with running. Running showed up in like the seventies, eighties,

(13:39):
and so I knew all these people that my dad
were his heroes that were like the top of that.
My dad was like, buddy, you don't understand this guy's
I mean, no, got to go. He's coming down to Tampa.
We gotta I'm gonna go to I'm gonna do the
Marine Corps Marathon and and so so. Yeah, so I
grew up with running. Now I will say this to
every runner, and this is from my dad, And this

(14:00):
is most the heaviest information he's ever given me, the
heaviest advice he's ever given me. Pace yourself with running.
We get obsessive, compulsive, and I gotta run every day.
If I don't run, I feel like a piece of shit.
My dad has bad knees, bad hips because he ran
so much. And what he said to me the other

(14:22):
day was I wish I had taken a few days
off so I could still run. And that's such a
crazy statement to people that are young and obsessive about
running because it does something for your mental health. Enjoy
your Sunday, or maybe not Sunday. Enjoy your Monday, enjoy
your Wednesday. Take the day off so that you can

(14:42):
do it up until you're seventy years old. Because my
dad didn't. He would run ten miles every day after work,
every day after work, ten miles, and his body's paying
for it.

Speaker 2 (14:52):
Yeah, it adds up. I know. That is one of
the things that I always think about, is running longevity.
And that's why this pregnancy has been kind of nice
because I've been four to kind of like take the pedal, uh,
the whatever, the foot off the gas. I guess a
little bit, and I'm like, I'm sure it's saving me
a couple of years down the line of being able
to keep going. But why did your dad run? Is

(15:16):
that a crazy question?

Speaker 1 (15:18):
I have no idea why he ran, Like was there.

Speaker 2 (15:22):
What was driving him? You know, because doing marathons and races,
that's a big thing to commit to, and not everybody's
motivated enough to do that, especially you're saying it was
kind of in the early days of running being this
big thing.

Speaker 1 (15:34):
His dad died when he was like thirteen or sixteen.
His dad died at forty two. His mom and she's passed,
and I apologize to my dad. Here's this. I think
we'd all agree that my grandmother had a mild eating disorder.
You know, I don't know why he ran. He got
a scholarship to high school for running, and I think

(15:58):
that started. And then he got a scholarship to Cage
for running track and field and he was always good
at it, and I think and then he stopped running,
and he started smoking cigarettes and got into law and
became a lawyer. And when we moved. I know he
tells me this story often, but I think fourth of
July nineteen seventy nine, he was smoking a cigarette and

(16:20):
I said, why do you do that? You know it's
going to kill you. And he was overweight and he
went for a run that day and he said his
heart was pounding out of his chest and he was like,
I'm going to get healthy. And I think from that
period to like to like in like four months, he
ran a marathon and he just was like changed his life.
And I I think I think he ran. That's a

(16:44):
really great question. I think he ran. Why do any
of us run? I mean, I think he did it
for anxiety. I think it shut his brain off. He
used to tell me he couldn't do math when he ran,
and so I think it shut his brain off and
it allowed him. It was his annex. But yeah, he ran.

(17:06):
I remember him running every morning and every night. I
mean he would run to work. I remember they build
a shower. He'd build an office on Bush Boulevard in Tampa,
and he'd put a shower in there, and I remember, like,
why would you have a shower, And he goes like
a shower. But after my runs, he would run to
work and he would run home and then he'd run
ten miles at night. And this back when you ran

(17:28):
and dogs would attack you. Yeah, he used to run
with like a stick because dogs would. Back in the day,
dogs would running. When a dog can attack you is
so much more intense. I don't know why he ran.
I guess why do I run? I guess I run
just because it's in my blood. So he ran, And
it's easy. It's a no brainer. Anyone can do it.
Like if you go to a gym you start lifting weights,

(17:50):
you're gonna hurt yourself. But if you go out and
just go for a run. You can start with a
walk and then you can do like a one minute run,
three minute walk, and then two minute run, two minute walk,
three minute run, one minute walk, and then you're running.
It's really a no brainer. It is.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
It's a good form of movement that you can just
always come back to. You know, like it's nice to
go to the fancy workout class and do weight training
and hit workouts and that's always great, but to just
be able to go for a run isn't something that
everybody can do, and it's nice to just have had
it kind of be a part of your lifestyle growing
up that you're always like, I'm on tour, I don't
have anywhere to go to work out. I'm just going
to go for a run.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
Some of my favorite runs, my favorite runs ever are
on tour. My favorite runs ever have always been on tour.
I had a run when I was on Travel Channel.
I used to run. The very first day I did
this show Trip Flip, I went for a run in
Mexico where they wrote this song Hotel California, and I
heard the church bells ring on my run and it

(18:47):
was like five o'clock at night. We're all getting ready
to go to dinner, and I just we were done,
and I went for a run. I went for a
run in Florence. Beautiful run in the mornings. I love
when you get up early and no one else is awake,
and especially if you've been drinking and you're like, yo,
I'm a little hungover. I know it can get this
to go away as a run and my favorite runs,

(19:07):
I mean I just did. I just had one of
the best runs ever in DC recently. Was raining, like
just a little bit of rain, and I ran from
the Watergate Hotel to the Lincoln Memorial, around the Washington Memorial,
back to the Lincoln Mature Memorial, back to my hotel.

(19:28):
Five mile run. It was fucking perfect, I mean more
one of my I could go through my favorite runs.
One morning with me and Land go to Paris and
Leann's not like she's not a real crazy traveler, so
she got jet lag and I just run through. I
just jogged through jetlag. And I get up at like
four in the morning, three in the morning. She can't sleep,

(19:50):
she's uncomfortable. I draw her a bath and then I
put on my running clothes and I go. You want
to go for a job with me Land doesn't run.
One of the most beautiful runs I've ever had in Paris,
like five in the morning, down the river, the sand
rivers at the sand It's just beautiful. Right by the
Eiffel Tower. I ran to the Eiffel Tower. I mean,
when I was doing the machine, I'd run every morning.

(20:13):
The best run in the world, and no one in
Serbia runs. It is an eighty percent downhill jock at
a slight downhill with a twenty percent somewhat aggressive uphill.
But when you get to this park, you run down
this and it's just the slightest downhill, so you feel
it and you feel like your pace is quick, and
then on the shortest uphill. And I'd run it every morning.

(20:36):
Every morning. I'd get up at five in the morning
and go run. There's a four mile run, and I
fucking loved it. My favorite My favorite moments in life
are getting up early before anyone else is up, seeing
the trees, seeing the sunrise. I just I've been seeing
sunrises a lot. Saw one in San Francisco. Had a
great run the other day, four mile run from the

(20:57):
one hotel down to the wharf and back. Oh, beautiful.
And then I had a crazy run in Tampa. In
Saint Petersburg, I woke up and I was like, I'm
gonna go see the sunrise. I love seeing the sunrise run.
It's such a beautiful thing. And then I realized, Oh,
i'm on, I'm in Saint Pete. I'm in I'm on

(21:19):
the west coast of Florida. I won't see a sunrise.
And then I go for a jog and the sun
rose and I went like on over the ocean and
I was like, whoa. I got so confused, and I
thought it was beginning stages of dementia because I was like, wait,
where am I hold on? Why can't I figure out
where the sun is? It turns out we were on
the gulf side of the Saint Pete. So this I

(21:39):
could talk about fucking running forever. Go ahead.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
Well, I just love that it's such a big party
of your life. And I find it so interesting because
I didn't know this about you, you know, like I
knew that you did the five K. I was like, Oh,
that's so cool, Like they're on a fitness journey, you know.
That's kind of what I assumed because I knew Jelly
Roll was. But it's so interesting knowing that it's been
such a big part of your life. I feel like
it's almost under talked about because when I think of you,
I think about, you know, this guy that's like loves

(22:03):
to party and you have like this, you know, chaos
like about you, right that people kind of associate partying
chaos with you. So running is almost this like juxtaposition
to that.

Speaker 1 (22:15):
Yeah, I'm a huge I'm a huge.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
Juxtaposition that has your audience always known that about you,
that you have these kind of two sides of you
that you love, you know, going out doing your thing,
having fun and then waking up early and going for
a run and being fit.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
I think my audience always thinks I speak in hyperbole
like everything, like everything's always the biggest it's ever going
to be. This is the greatest day of my life.
I had the fuck I had the best meal I've
ever had ever. I never I think I see the
world that way, and I think I tell stories that way,
like this is the great You're about to hear, the
greatest story you've ever heard. I love prefacing everything like that,

(22:52):
And so I think, and I'm being generous and somewhat
kind to myself, but I think my audience thinks I'm
so I'm wat full of shit where they're like, yeah,
sure he runs. I'm sure he has run, but it's
not as big as he says and uh and so
I think that they probably know me to they know

(23:13):
I run, but you know, I used to go on
I went on Rogan and I said I could run
the La Marathon with no training and he was like, no,
it's Bert talking shit. And then I did it and
everyone was like, oh wow, uh wait for real he
did that. And then I've always run. I used to
have boxes of wine on the treadmill and I do
runs at night. But I don't know. I think my

(23:36):
audience knows that I run, but I don't think they
know to the extent. And I stopped posting anything workout.

Speaker 2 (23:43):
Like recently it's like people would love it, like I
would love to see a series that you do with
your trainer where I was saying this to you on
the run, like you guys are on tour, just like
show some of your workouts so interesting.

Speaker 1 (23:52):
Well I know, you know, I think, And it's funny.
Social media has I wonder what's performative these days and
what's authentic and the one place that I definitely tap
out is in the gym and on the treadmill. And
I think for a period of time I didn't and

(24:16):
I posted all of it. I shared everything, and I
think it was cannibalizing me, and so I wasn't getting
any authentic moments anymore. I was just posting everything. So
I've pulled back, and I've noticed the world hasn't. The
world's pushed forward. I mean, like, sobriety is a crazy
thing to monetize, and that's all I see is people

(24:38):
monetizing their sobriety. It's such a weird personal journey.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
Wait, so are you sober? I now, you said you
haven't had a drink in four months? Are you sober?

Speaker 1 (24:55):
No? I mean I mean no, Yeah, I'm not drinking,
I'm not smoking weed, but I would never call myself sober.
I will drink again right now. I'm on blood thinners.
So I got a blood caught in my leg and
my lungs, and so I had to quit drinking for
six months. So I quit drinking. I've always said I'll
keep myself healthy enough so I can always keep drinking.
If my doctor says you can't drink for another six months.

(25:17):
Then I won't drink for another six months. I'll do
whatever my doctor says. But I plan on smoking weed
again soon. I don't know when that'll be. I just
haven't had a reason to smoke it. And then I'm
planning on drinking again July twelfth. But I think you
know the way your phone listens to you, sober stuff

(25:38):
comes up in my feet all the time because I'm
not drinking, and I guess I talk about everything in
life a lot, and I just find it so fascinating
to see what people choose to monetize out of their life.
And you know, how many I don't know if charlatan's
the right word, but when it comes to fitness and

(26:00):
longevity and health, how many Charlatans are out there that
don't have any qualifications and are just talking out of
their ass about let me tell you about vitamin D.
And you're like, hold on, stop, are you a doctor?
I don't want to hear a word. Who the fuck
are you? I'm sorry, You're just a dude who works construction,
who had a drug addiction and now you spend time
with your kids because you got custody, and now you're

(26:21):
telling me about vitamin D because you look good like this.
I fucking stop like so many the Internet. I mean,
there needs to be regulations on the Internet. And now, look,
you're talking about a guy that's wildly been aggressively on
the Internet for a long time. But I'm watching dads
with pages where they put their kids through what could

(26:43):
only be considered military workouts, and they're filming their kids
doing the world's toughest the children eight years old, ten
years old doing the world's hardest mile where it's Burpie's
lunge it and they're like and they're like, this is
how you raise men. No, it's not. That's not how
you raise men. Like it doesn't work. Clear, there's a
lot of fucking up. As a dad. Teddy Roswell's dad

(27:05):
made them smoke cigars because he had asthma. There's a
lot of fucking up, okay, and I can't like the
Internet's kind of grossed me out a little bit. And like,
sobriety was the first thing, and then all these longevity
things that I'm watching. I'm like, I'm like, hold on,
there needs to be an FDA regulation on this. I
can't listen to you because I'm listening to you, and
I'm like, like, I've been cold plunging for like three years.

(27:27):
I don't know why I've never read it.

Speaker 2 (27:31):
True. Also, longevity stuff can get so expensive. I'm like,
it just becomes like a big consumerism like ploy. I'm like,
I can't get another red light mask.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
Yeah, oh, a righteous flew with mine because I have
rosesia and so I fly with a red light mask
and I have a red light helmet, and I was
thinking about getting the bed. I don't know what the
fuck it does.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
No, you need to get off your phone. That's what's happened.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
That's crazy. It is crazy who I listened to.

Speaker 2 (27:57):
Well, your success kind of came pre social media, right,
it came it.

Speaker 1 (28:02):
I think I married it to social media, but I
think I was so early that I don't I'm not
associated too much with it, but like I definitely I
started doing promo videos on social media and they would
sell tickets.

Speaker 2 (28:15):
I mean, your social media is massive, but it's also
cool that you started your comedy journey like pre social media.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
Being so I started to stand up twenty five years ago,
I guess in New York City, down on West Third,
And I'm very blessed that I always say this, you know,
when I look at like Nikki or Whitney, or Tommy
or Joe or or Big Jay Oakerson or like all

(28:42):
the guys. I struck Kevin Hart. When we all started,
and we all started at different times, but when we
all started, and this is the thing we have in common.
We didn't get into this for a career, Like, we
didn't get into this. We wanted success and maybe we
wanted fame, but we did. We didn't know that that
could happen. We did it because we were in love
with comedy. And I'm not shitting on anyone getting into

(29:04):
comedy now, but clearly you see the path, you know,
we got to the edge of the forest and we
were like, this looks fun. Let's see if we can
find a path in here, and that would be great.
But it was it was all woods. Now, when you're
a kid and you get into comedy, you're like, oh,
clearly there's four paths. I can be a roast comic,
I can be internet comic, I can do sketches. Oh,

(29:27):
I want to get on SNL. Like there's like there's
like a bunch of pass But when we got in
it was just woods and we were like, and we
didn't have a machete. You just had to like push
woods apart and start crawling through, and then you found
each other. That's why we're so tethered to each other.
That's why I think of like Whitney and Nikki as sisters,
because we found each other in the woods and like

(29:48):
held on too hands and we're like, yo, this is
scary as shit. Now we're at a place where the
woods have opened a little bit, especially for the people
I mentioned, it is a clearing and you are seeing
Mecca on the other side, and you're like, oh, I know,
I think I can get there. But you know, when
we started, it was no there was no path. And
I think that's why we're all so close is that

(30:11):
we got into this as like Carnifolk as like, I
don't know, a comedy seems funny shit, They don't drug test.
It's it's we get working at night. We can sleep
whenever we want. You travel, it's going to be a blast.

Speaker 2 (30:25):
You can kind of say whatever you want to. Yeah,
Like comedy's the one place where like you can be
a little bit politically incorrect sometimes, you know, where people
still think it's funny.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
One hundred percent. I mean, this is how this is
how crazy, this is how crazy connected I am with
the people. I say, like, one day, NICKI glaze, this
has got to be Probably fucking fifteen years ago, NICKI
posted a picture of a hotel gym and she was
like something, I hope you enjoy your workout. This is

(30:56):
my workout And it was a treadmill face to the
corner and like a few hand weights. And I texted
her and I said the microtel in Des Moines, Iowa.
And she went, oh my god, like that's how a
messed we are. I knew that, Jim because I had
worked out in that Jim, And it was just an

(31:17):
empty hotel room with a cheap treadmill pointed to the corner,
as if someone put the treadmill and thought, aim it
towards the corner and it'll look more fung shue. Huh. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:32):
So what were those early days of trying to make
it in comedy, Like, like what were you doing? Did
you have any money? Were you kind of what were
you doing to make money?

Speaker 1 (31:42):
When I started, I didn't know you. I didn't know
that there was a way to make money. I didn't
know how to make money. I didn't know that you
could do the road. I didn't know you could do
the road. I thought you just came to New York.
Did it in New York. And then I thought maybe
you'd get a sitcom or like or like a commercial.
I remember Dimitri Martin explained how commercials work. Oh, Jim
Gaffigan got two hundred and fifty thousand dollars to do

(32:03):
a Sierra Miss commercial. I was like, oh, commercial would
be cool. Maybe you get on Law and Order, that
would be cool. I didn't. There was no path. And
then when I moved to LA I got a development
deal and I heard of those and I got a
development deal and I was like, nice, six figures to
not work with anyone for a year except for NBC
or CBS, for Fox.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
How'd you get that?

Speaker 1 (32:24):
Will Smith? Will Smith discovered me. It was like crazy,
There was no like. I keep saying, there's no path
in the woods. No, I can't explain that enough.

Speaker 2 (32:31):
We walked me through Will Smith discovering you. That's iconic.

Speaker 1 (32:33):
I was fresh out of college. I was working the
door of this place called the Boston Comedy Club. Now,
I was fresh out of college. So when NYU kids
walked by and they're like, I had to bring them in.
I was barking. I had to bring them in off
the street into our club so that we had an audience.
So I'd be like, hey, we got a great comedy show,
and NYU kids be like, do you guys? ID? I
was the guy checking Id's I was also fresh out

(32:54):
of college mind jo I was twenty five, twenty six,
but I was like, no, we don't. I do, but yeah,
let's go, cause I just needed people to perform in
front of it. And I knew no one's going to
no CoP's gonna come and bust the Boston Comedy Club.
So we left these NYU kids in for free and
they could drink in there, no one check their IDs,
so and then at that I could walk them down
the backstairs to the bag it in, which then they've

(33:17):
avoided the bouncer, and then they were in a bar.
So I started letting these NYU kids in forty sixty
on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday night, and they fucking loved me,
and so I started doing stand up at the end
of the night. That's how I got on stage. I
got twenty five dollars a night. I had to fill
up the club. I worked the door, I brought in

(33:37):
audience members, and at the end of the night, I write
for Godfrey. I go on and do fifteen minutes of
stand up and they loved me because I was also
like them. I was I just graduated college. I was
into drugs, I was into alcohol, I was into being single.
And so I kind of got a little bit of
a not a following, but you know, if you want
to consider it. That and Time Out in New York

(33:58):
wrote an article about me because I had been in
Rolling Stone magazine and then now they're tracking my journey
and they're like, whoever thought this kid would succeed? Will Smith?
That came out on a Friday, a Monday. That came
out on a Monday, Will Smith him and his company
read it on a Tuesday. They set up a showcase

(34:22):
on Wednesday for a manager. On Friday, I did stand
up at the Boston Comedy Club on a weekend, which
was crazy. I did it on a weekend. I had
never done a weekend before. And on Saturday. I had
a development deal and it was like one hundred and
twenty thousand dollars for one year to develop a sitcom
with Will Smith. I had to go and meet with him.

(34:44):
We met at the Hip Factor hit Parade or a
hip factory up on the Upper West Side. He liked me,
I liked him. We went and saw a movie. I
thought I was gonna have sex with ten black guys.
It's a long story. Then I'm saving your audience from
you can find it on club shashe but uh and
and I end up. He taught me how to sell
a TV show. He taught me everything I know about

(35:06):
being in a room. And I moved to LA and
I and that's how I started. Yeah, it was. It
was a great, great, great life experience.

Speaker 2 (35:17):
I think it's Matthew McConaughey that has what's his book
called The.

Speaker 1 (35:20):
Green Green Lights. I read the entire fucking book.

Speaker 2 (35:24):
Do you feel like green lights was or one of
your green lights was? Will Smith? Noticing you had to
have been.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
I'm a writer dive for Will. No, I mean, I'm
also more team Chris in that I feel like I've
been hit before. But I'm a writer dive for Will.

Speaker 2 (35:40):
I mean, come on, fresh, Prince of bel Air, get
jiggy with it.

Speaker 1 (35:43):
Don't even like my heart breaks for him when he
gets negativity. I go, that's my guy. I love Will.
And he taught me how to sell a TV show.
He taught me how to act in a room, how
to not be a movie star, but to be bigger
than the room. He taught me all of that.

Speaker 2 (35:58):
What are some of those tips? Like how well, how
do you do that?

Speaker 1 (36:01):
It's tougher now because the internet has so many notes
on who you are. But it's just being bigger, it's
being it's filling the room with your personality. When Will
Smith walks in a room, everyone looks at him and
it's and it's not it's just not something he has.
It's to go in and he's like, oh, like he
just fills up a room. And he told me that.

(36:22):
And he was like, you know, be yourself, just be yourself.
But when you walk in this room, don't hold back,
like don't like you're not saving it for anybody. Like
be yourself, but be bigger than yourself. And I remember
we walked into Jamie Tarsus at ABC. She was barefoot,
she was beautiful, she was dating Matthew Perry at the time.
She was running ABC. She has since passed And and

(36:48):
Will told me that, and I walked in and they're like, so,
tell us about this guy, Burt. And I look Jamie Tarsus,
and I go, have you ever tried to knock yourself out?
She was like what? And I said, and college, we
used to try to knock ourselves out. Let me show
you how it's done. And they were like yeah, and
I go, well, now, the move is to put your
head against like a solid object, so when you hit

(37:09):
yourself and everyone in the room was like, what the fuck?
And I knocked him. I think, I don't know if
I knocked myself unconscious, but I showed them how to
do it. And it was like it was just such
a be yourself like at all the weird, quirky parts
of yourself that you're insecure about or you're unsure about,
share them with everyone and open up and take swings.

(37:31):
And I remember we walked into NBC and they were
like and I was like, this is the greatest guy, man,
this is the funniest guy in comedy. And I'll just
give this store over, give this table over to Burt.
And it was like fifteen people in the room and
they're like, so Bert, what's this story about? And I
just heard that and I went now this is a
story all about and his show had been on NBC.

(37:53):
The room laughed, it was a dumb joke. Will started
tagged it, and we just pitched a show, and we
sold a show to Fox and then moved to LA
and then the show fell apart. We did another show
at CBS. That show fell apart. I had a bunch
of money. I lost all my money, not like, you know,

(38:13):
not lost it, but you know. I met Leanne, I
tried to winer and diner, fell in love, had a baby.
All of that whole experience of NBC, of ABC, of Fox,
of developing a sitcom, developing a second sitcom. I have

(38:37):
weird feelings about it because I had nothing but free time,
and I had money, So like you get one hundred
and twenty one hundred and seventy five thousand dollars, I
think respectively of those two deals, and then you had
that money. And then I also didn't have a job.
I just could do stand up at night. But I
was living in a hotel, was living at the Universal Sheridan,

(38:57):
and I remember being jealous. I wanted to be busy.
I wanted like to have a day filled with shit.
I wanted it but all I had to do is
I would wake up. I'd go to Will's at ten
in the morning, go to his office over Brook. They
would order lunch for us. I'd get lunch. I'd have
a meeting, we'd get lunch. My day was over and
everyone was so jealous. You have to day to yourself,

(39:19):
what are you gonna do? And I'd go back to
Universals of Sheridan. I'd go to the gym, I'd work out.
They had an arcade there. I'd play Galaga. I would
go get drinks by the pool. I'd pass out in
my room and I'd go out and party at night.
And I'd do it again. And I wished I had
a busy day now when my days are literally cram packed.
I mean I don't have I have to have my

(39:39):
assistant schedule lunch, like write lunch in and I mean
I have to explain that you need to work in
drive time to some of these places because they don't
because they're like eleven, like my day goes wake up,

(40:00):
but six, uh, it's it's I do Sona and cold
Plunge in the morning, I'm reading scripts from six to
like I'm reading scripts and doing pre interview, podcast stuff.
All that morning getting on the treadmill and then and
running and walking. All the information I need to do

(40:20):
to get ready for my day is done from six
to seven to like nine nine to and then my
trainer shows up at nine point thirty, I work out,
and then that day's gone. That day starts the second
my trainer shows up. I'm gone. I'm out the gates
until seven o'clock at night.

Speaker 2 (40:37):
And you've said before too, like you're such a yes man,
like you've had to learn where to start saying no
to things because you're so eager. You're like, I'll do whatever.
Do you feel like you learn that through just like
being a comic and kind of like rising through the
ranks where it's like you kind of have to say
yes to everything at first.

Speaker 1 (40:53):
I think so. And there's also a part of me
that doesn't want to let anyone down, you know, like
like there's like I'm understand what the hustles, like like
to be very candid, like I know what your job is,
and I know what your hopes are, and I know
what it means to have like a fun guest and
to have a guest that wants to be on and

(41:15):
so like when I when they reach out clearly, I
would go, yeah, I'm flying on a red eye. I
can't do it. I'm gonna go to sleep, and I'm
gonna sleep all day and then I'm gonna get up
and go get something to eat, and maybe I'll do
a job at Central Park on my leisure. But I
understand that I can also help help someone. That sounds
horrible to say, but like I can be an asset

(41:36):
to someone. And I remember wanting assets, like wanting like
like a good guest is a big fucking deal when
you have a podcast, So I don't want to let
people down and and and if it's something I'm passionate about,
then it's a very easy lift for me. So I go, oh, no,
I don't mind having a job. I don't mind sleeping,
having a job, doing a podcast, then jogging back. And

(41:57):
you know, I liked.

Speaker 2 (42:06):
What you were saying too about how when Will Smith
was giving you the advice of walking to a room
and just be full yourself. I also feel like it's
such good comedy advice because as a stand up comedian,
like you have to be so open in your jokes
and with what you talk about and what you write
about and I feel like sometimes being self deprecating can
be hard. But is it true that as a comedian
you have to learn how to kind of let that

(42:27):
stuff go and just be able to kind of put
it all out there or are there certain boundaries you
set with your acts?

Speaker 1 (42:33):
Oh, I don't have. I don't have. I'm wildly unaware
of boundaries, and I'm wildly unaware of like what's acceptable.
I've overshared way too much. I've overshared so much that
and that does get tough because I mean, if you
go and look for videos of me, you can find
me saying just about anything about anything, and people can

(42:56):
you know, clip farm that and make it even worse
than it really is. And you've got to let go
of that. And that's been a process for me to
let go of that and be like, yo, I said it,
everything's out there. I've done it all the.

Speaker 2 (43:09):
Same thing as a creator, like it's kind of like, well,
we make content about our lives, and yeah, some people
are gonna and you know.

Speaker 1 (43:15):
I happen to be friends, very close friends with some
of the most famous people in the world, you know,
and so people want to hear about those relationships. You know.
And so the hardest thing I think I've noticed and
the more i've is to and I've tried to learn
how to do this, is to not draw focus. Is

(43:39):
you notice, like a lot of people in front of
the camera, they walk into a room and they draw
focus and immediately they're like fill the room. What I'm
trying to do more of lately is allow everyone to
draw focus so that I'm not. I don't need to
be the center of attention. It's so tough. Well, I
want to. It's my natural instinct is to be the

(44:01):
center of attention, especially when people don't want to be.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
How do you do that? Though, when you're doing stand up?

Speaker 1 (44:06):
I think stand up's different. I think as people are
there to see me. I think the thing I struggle
with in stand up is to be as present as
possible and to make the show as authentic to that
moment as possible and to I think my best shows
are when I way over share about everything, and that's

(44:27):
you know, That's what I'm working on now. I don't
know what this next special will be.

Speaker 2 (44:32):
Okay, what about kids? Because so I'm eight months pregnant,
We're about to have our first girl. I know you
have two girls. I'm starting to think through kind of
with my husband, like how much are we going to
show of her? How much are ween to talk about her?
It's such it's so hard.

Speaker 1 (44:44):
Well, I am the example of what not to do, Okay,
tell me. So what I will say is that especially
someone like yourself and me who have wanted to be
in front of the camera, maybe maybe our whole lives,
maybe just recently, and anonymity is precious and taking someone's

(45:05):
anonymity away is almost criminal. And I know that now.
I didn't know that before because I thought everyone was
like me. But my daughter Isila does not want anyone
to know who she is. She does not want people,
she doesn't care about fame. My daughter Georgia is the
exact same. I mean, both my daughters would love to

(45:29):
go through life and no one know them and just
sit in the back of a room and watch. They
do not. They're not a fan of people going shit
Yrbert Chreiser's daughter. Oh that shuts them down, and you
will never get them to talk to you. That it is.

(45:50):
It is crippling to them to a point where like
if if you say you know me, they do not
want to know you, and I regret. I regret I
think over sharing to an extent. I think it's authentically

(46:10):
you know, my job to share and overshare and to
tell stories. And look, they were part of my life,
and you know all of that is. I'm very cool
with how everything worked out. We have a great family.
We are tight as shit, we are close. But I
will say, uh, being the child of a famous person

(46:32):
comes with his hiccks, it hiccups, and I've watched my
daughters deal with that. And look, I'm not going to
change anything. I love my career, I love what I
do for a living. I have a great family, and
I love all of it. Everything. I wouldn't change a
fucking thing. But I will say that, you know, being
a child of a famous person is an uphill battle.

(46:53):
And I mean I know that that no one, no
one can imagine that that's a real thing. Everyone's like,
are you kidding me? I would love to be Tom
hanks kid. Well, yeah, Colin not Chet right like chet
Che Hanks. It's like you watch his struggles. It's tough.

(47:13):
Colin did great, but Chet is struggling. And I love
Chet Hanks, but I'm saying it was kids.

Speaker 2 (47:19):
I don't even know what they look like.

Speaker 1 (47:21):
Google Chat Hanks, hold on, hold on, not now, it's
a deep dive. He's the child that went up and spoke.

Speaker 2 (47:27):
I literally know nothing about Tom Hanks kids.

Speaker 1 (47:31):
Chet Hanks is the funnest deep dive you'll ever do.
I love Jet, I love Chetthanks. He was recently stranded
in Brazil for a month. His passport ran out and
listen to Chet Hanks is my favorite human being alive.
He went on the Red Carpet and spoke, patois you
don't remember this?

Speaker 2 (47:49):
No?

Speaker 1 (47:50):
Yeah, They're like, hey, Chehanks, your Tom. He's like and
they're like, all, I thought you grew up in Beverly Hills.
Me grow up and Breda Hills, Bemany Hill by that
wack come from. And they're like, wait, why do you
talk like that? And he goes, why don't I just
it's like one of the things I do, Like Jeded
Hanks is crazy. Look at Susan Sarandon and and Tim
Robbins's kid is fucking hysterical. But he deals with his

(48:12):
celebrity like he's it. I mean, I just I will
say that. You know everyone thinks like I When I
was a kid, I was like, can you know how
great it would be to be Leroy Selman's kid, or
or be the be a Sylvester Stallone's kid, or Arnold
Schwarzenegger's kid, or any of these. Shut up.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
Patrick Schwartzenegger. We've had him on the show and he's
a great guy.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
Yeah. But but but it comes with hiccups. Yeah, And
I think that's the one thing when if I were you,
second you have bet kid, don't put them in front
of the camera, don't mention their name out loud. Let
them decide that for themselves the way you got to
decide it, you know. I think that's the normal thing
to do, and I and everything's figuring out the normal.
But I like my daughter might. I would love for

(48:56):
my daughters to do stand up. They're so funny. They'll
never do it only because I did it. So then
I took something away that's really fun that I enjoy
that it's the passion of my life. I took it
away from them, you know, in a weird way.

Speaker 2 (49:07):
I feel like there's other cool ways to be involved
in comedy. Is your sister involved in comedy at all?

Speaker 1 (49:12):
Nom? I have one sister who has like a grown
up job in Hollywood, and I'm sure she doesn't want
me telling everyone what she does, but you can, I mean,
you can just find it. And then I have another
sister who probably has the most noble job in the world.
She helps people who are at the end of their
lives downsize their houses and go into like living care facilities,

(49:38):
which is like, can you imagine going into your house
to you're eighty and being like, we can get rid
of this, and you're like, but I've had that. My
whole life as one of my sisters is just like
fucking So.

Speaker 2 (49:51):
I know we talked about Rogan. We are referencing what
you guys talked about on your episode, and he's got kids,
like do you guys ever kind of like cross notes
and talk about like I think he has a daughter
that I don't know. You never say like, oh, how
do you manage the fame?

Speaker 1 (50:03):
Or we have Yes, we have, obviously we have, but
but you know, we had kids at different times in
our lives, and we had kids at different financial times
in our lives. Like he had kids when he had
money and he could figure you know, life was maybe
I'm not saying it was easier, not easier, but when
I had kids, I was broke. We you know, we
didn't have any It was like everything was trying to

(50:27):
piece meal together. And I think by the time I
met Joe, I had a little bit of money, but
not like not like money money, and so I think
they're two different paths. We had our kids all hang
out a couple of times and and they got along beautifully,
and my wife and his wife. I mean, he was

(50:48):
the reason we got chickens because we took all the
girls were all He had chickens, and our girls were like,
this would be awesome, and so Leanne asked Jessica. Jessica
explained to Leanne how to how they got chickens, and
that's how we got chickens. And then we raised chickens
because our girls went to Rogan's house and loved chickens.
It's so cool getting chickens. It's awesome.

Speaker 2 (51:10):
Okay, what jokes about your daughters or themes on stage
are off limits?

Speaker 1 (51:16):
Oh? Everything right now? Everything right now. Because they're humans.
They're like twenty one and nineteen, and they have like
crazy like relationships with humans, and like I would love
to talk about their lives right now. I would love
it more than anything. But it's everything's got to be
run through them.

Speaker 2 (51:34):
Now, I think that's fair.

Speaker 1 (51:36):
It should have been fair. I should have been doing
this their whole lives. But there were children I love.
Put her finger in the hair ass and put in
the dog's mouth. What am I gonna she's four? Hey,
can I tell that on stage? Shure it out? I
don't care. She didn't know what that meant. And so
like she got her period, and that's when I should
have run by her when I talked about her period
on Conan. But you don't understand how hard it has
come up with the material. When something good shows up,

(51:57):
you're like, fuck it, let's run with it. Guys. This
is You don't understand how hard it is to get
something to go viral. This go went viral.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
Yeah, they're like daed puberty off limits.

Speaker 1 (52:07):
Oh my god. There was one thing that there was
a moment I was about to go to the ice house,
Leanne said something to me, if you got to talk
to your daughter Ayla, and I went great. So I
went into her bedroom. I had a conversation with her,
which was I'm talking comedy gold and I went all right,

(52:30):
it was good, and she went, hey, looked at me
right as I walked out the door, and she goes,
this doesn't go on stage. By the way, that's wild
that a twelve year old, a ten year old would
say that to her father, this doesn't go on stage.
And I went, fuck, this was so good. Yeah, so
now everything runs goes by them, everything goes by Leanne.
They both watch my said, even the Lucky Georgia watched

(52:53):
it and had notes. She was like, I like the
way you're talking about mom. You're talking too negative about mom.
And I did realized that I'd taken some of the
smile out of the jokes making fun of her. And
it's so okay to make fun of your wife if
everyone knows you love her, but if you just make
fun of your wife. So it was a very apt
note and I added the smile back into it, and
it made it more fun.

Speaker 2 (53:13):
And Leanne's been a big part of your career and
your your company, right like she's I remember at the
Netflix as a joke festival, you guys shouted her out
on stage.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
Well, she put together the she put together the five K.
She's responsible for that, for my cruise, for I mean,
she's responsible. She runs my company. She runs everything. I mean,
she's an executive producer on my TV show. She's an
executive producer on all my specials. Not that she writes materials.
She doesn't write any of my material and not, but
like she definitely has lived my material. So when I

(53:44):
tell it if it's not landing properly, she will let
me know, like she but she physically produces them. Like yeah,
like she's she's the best. She's the greatest thing that
ever happened to me. And I'm I mean that like
not like like smoopy, but like the truth, like you know, Yeah,

(54:08):
she's like the perfect person for me.

Speaker 2 (54:11):
How do you guys meet I.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
Met her three times before she remembered meeting me. I
met her. I was walking about to her own Runyon
Canyon walk Runian Canyon and she was working with a
writing partner at the base Runyon Canon and I saw
her there. I was like, she's beautiful, She's beautiful, and
she was a bitch and I'm into bitches and then uh,
and then so I met her at a at a
yoga class to the YMCA over in off Franklin and

(54:36):
her ex boyfriend showed up with flowers. I was in
my buddy Croy, and she berated him in front of
a yoga class waiting to go into the studio. He
showed up to try to get her back, and she'd
be raided him, and I remember me and my buddy
Croy were like, you don't ever want to fuck with
that chick. She's bad news. And I ended up sitting
next to her in the yoga class and sweating so
profusely that she kept staring at me, laughing like what

(54:58):
the fuck's wrong with this guy? And then we all
went bowling. I'd seen her like twice. Now we all
went bowling. I was and I had a picture of
her on my fridge because my roommate had gone to
Vegas with her, and I was like, she is beautiful.
And we went bowling and she thought I was cute,
and she she gave me your number, and then immediately
I was like, I'm out. I don't any time a

(55:20):
woman moves forward, I just was turned off. And then
she called me and she was like, hey, you know,
if you asked me out, I'll say yes. And I went,
will you want to go out? And she went yes,
and I went okay, And so we went out and
I had panic attacks all night and I was freaked
out and then I would not leave her alone, Like

(55:40):
I was like, what do you want to do now?
What do you want to do now? And yeah, we've
been together for twenty I was twenty eight, so probably
almost twenty Jesus fucking long time.

Speaker 2 (55:53):
It's like fate that you guys finally ended up together.

Speaker 1 (55:55):
Oh yeah, Like she's my person, like I I've I
had a real moment of clarity of like she is good.
Everything around her is going to be good. Nothing bad
is going to be around her. She doesn't like drama.
She looks at you in the eyes when she talks
to you, like the cutest thing she does in the world.

(56:17):
She's a little shorter than everyone, and she looks up
to people and she stares you in the eyes. And
it's like and it's like in a world that we
live in and where everyone's looking for the next best
thing and looking for the next biggest car or biggest
house or you know, nicer jewelry or looking for someone
cool to walk by. And you see it in New York,

(56:38):
people go like, what's that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
she didn't do that. She looks you in the eyes
when she talks to you, and she listens and she
calls you on your bullshit, and she gets excited when
you succeed. She's not in she's like loves to watch
people succeed. She gets heartbroken when things bad. Like she's

(56:59):
a like they don't make real people, not in the world.
We live in New York, in LA. Like, she's like
a real fucking person.

Speaker 2 (57:06):
You said that when you met her the first time
or saw her the first time she was with her
writing partner. Is she a writer?

Speaker 1 (57:11):
She was a writer when I met her. She was
more successful than I was.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
Has she ever helped you write a joke?

Speaker 1 (57:15):
Yeah, I have a joke in my new special that
she wrote, but she wrote it, and I just tell
her that I say that she said it. She used
to tell me, I mean all of my first probably
three three or four specials that I did right before Lucky. Really,
she would just call and be like, You're never gonna

(57:36):
believe what your daughter did. And that was the beginning
of the joke. You're never gonna beve what the girls did.
You're never gonna be what either did. You're never gonna
leave what Georgia did. You're never gonna be what just
happened in the house, and I would hear it on
the road. I would take it on stage and it
would crush and I didn't have to touch it. And
anytime it happened vice versa, I'd call her and run
it by her. And then and then in like Lucky

(58:00):
is my latest special, her and my buddy Tony, who
produces all my specials. Also, I did six shows. The
last two shows they're like, tell the story about Priscilla,
which is a really harder story to tell because I
get emotional in it, and the audience cries when they
hear it. Not everyone, but you know, a lot of

(58:21):
people cry when they hear it, and then a lot
of people laugh while they cry. So it's a really
hard story to tell.

Speaker 2 (58:27):
What is the story about.

Speaker 1 (58:28):
Putting down our dog? And so if you've lost a dog,
you immediately connect with everything I say. If you've put
a dog down recently, you're bawling. But it's a funny story,
so you're laughing and crying. It's a really tough story
to tell, which I kind of gave up on because
I didn't enjoy telling it because I got emotional. And
then both LeAnn and Tony were like, you got to

(58:49):
tell the Priscilla story and I was like, for real,
and they're like, just tell it. So you have it,
and we told it and we ended up putting on
the special and it became like probably the most the
most talked about bit on the special.

Speaker 2 (59:07):
So we've had a lot of country singers on and
we talk about making it in Nashville, and Derek Bentley
specifically was talking about the formula to writing a good
country song. I'm curious what the formula is to writing
a good joke, Like, are there universal truths that just
work well in a comedy special, in a comedy joke, in.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
A bit it's funny. You'd think the thing that gets
you to laugh the hardest it would be the easiest
to take on stage. But that's never the case for me.
I can tell when there's something to something where I go, ugh,
it's gonna take a lot of work. Like the Machine

(59:47):
story is a perfect example. I was like, it's not
a stage story. I just told everyone it's not a
stage story, and Rogan was one. I was like, no,
it is, and you need to work on it. And
I was like, oh god. And then we're talking about
a legit three four years of me working on a
story that sucked. I can tell when a story will
be good. And then sometimes stories I just go, oh,

(01:00:09):
that's too easy, you know, that's so simple to plug in.
And then sometimes I go, wow, this is perfect. I
Usually I'll mishear something, or I'll overhear something, or I'll
be in a situation where I go, oh, I got this,
or I'll let me tell this back to you that

(01:00:32):
that's it. But like I'm a storyteller, so for me,
it's like it's like I have this great story I'm
trying to break about taking my family to Hawaii, and
I know the beats of it, and I just got
to fill it. But what it is a lot of

(01:00:53):
times is just telling it enough to get comfortable with it,
to let it take its time. Every story needs a
great ending, that's number one. Every story needs great ending,
and you got to get people into it. And it
can't just be I took my family to Hawaii. You
need a joke to get into it. You know, I
don't know the joke yet. I haven't figured it out.
But and for me, it's not the same thing every time.

(01:01:16):
Like I can write something quick, short and make it work.
I can find out a subject that I go, oh,
this will work on stage. I can do something short
and quick and then tell a long seven minute story,
twelve minute story. Not everyone's like that. A lot of
people know their format and they do their format. Most
people know their format and do their format. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:34):
I just had a young comedian on our running interview
show and he was talking about I was saying, how
when I go to a comedy show, what I love
to see and what I'm so impressed by is probably
what you're referring to. When somebody does a long seven
to ten minute story and they start with one theme,
they take it in this random direction and they bring
it back. You kind of did it with the Brianna
chicken fry story, and when we were on the bus

(01:01:55):
and I was like, oh my god, how did he
bring it back to that? You know? And I was
talking to this guy comedian wide about it, and he
was saying that he's more of a one liner comedian.

Speaker 1 (01:02:04):
A lot of guys very popular, and I really enjoy it.
I enjoy a lot of what I don't do. Mark
Norman probably one of the best joke writers. Samuerel probably
two of the best joke writers in the business. Two
of my favorite people to watch you stand up. Uh,
but they're they're they're joke writers. Uh, you know, and
it's not what I do. I wish I could do that,
but when I do it, it doesn't sound right. I

(01:02:25):
think I'm more I'm more of a long winded I
don't think anyone. I don't I think people I don't
mean this shit. But I think people say they're storytellers,
but they're not. They're just they're just longer joke tellers,
storytellings like Mike Burbigley is a storyteller, like he is
a brilliant Bill Cosby. You know, Eddie Murphy was a storyteller.

(01:02:48):
Like a storyteller someone who goes like, you can't just
go let me tell you about my mom. She's on
the internet a lot. And then she texted me the
other day and said, you're like, mom, da da da
da da, that's not a story. Yeah, it's just a joke.
Storytelling is like I'm gonna take you through. This is

(01:03:10):
the story of us killing our dog. I mean, when
I was twenty two years old, I got involved with
the Russian mafia and you know, listen, just this is
just a comics. You know, when you're stuck in a
twelve minute story and you go, this isn't going well
and I can't exit. I've got to finish it. That's
a storyteller just saying like I went on a date

(01:03:32):
with my wife. We went to a restaurant and the
waiter was like, what can I get you guys? And
I'm like, we're not guys, No, A're bron out. That's
not a story. That's just a bad joke. But like
that's you know, and I do some of those. I
do those, you know, but.

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
Like, how do you pivot out of a bad story?

Speaker 1 (01:03:51):
Oh? You don't. You're stuck in it. That's why no
one does it. Why that's why everyone goes I'm a storyteller,
you're not, because it sucks. Take this from a guy
who goes, all right, I'm gonna start a story and
then you start it and it doesn't get the excitement
you wanted it to have. You're like fuck, and then

(01:04:12):
you're like, Okay, I have eight more minutes of this,
and it is I mean, you're watching people go like
I don't believe this, and you're like okay, Like Dave
Dave Chappelle's a storyteller. But like it's it is, it is.
It's painful. It's painful when you have a story that

(01:04:33):
doesn't work. That's why I think most comics will say
their storyteller, but they have short stories. They have short stories,
and I do short stories as well. But uh, it's
because it's it's so nice to bail on it, to
just punch out and be like, I'm out, I'm out.
But I can only say that when I when I

(01:04:54):
started telling the machine, and I would be like when
I was twenty two years old, I got involved with
Russian mafia. I went to school Florida State. I was
not a very good student. That's what That's where the
cream rises to the top, where you go, Oh, I
a great storyteller. And I'm not saying I'm definitely not

(01:05:14):
gonna say I'm that, But a great storyteller knows how
to get you through a story with jokes, with punch
and and and pace and character development and arc and
planning seeds that you can harvest throughout and callbacks. You know.
Ari Shaffir does his storytelling shows. You can find it

(01:05:35):
on Ymah right now. It's called the I think it's
called this is the End or something, and Ari was
fascinated by story. Now, I wouldn't say Ari technically is
a storyteller. In his stand up, he's more of a
joke writer, I think at times, but he's he's a
great storyteller. And he did a storytelling show. And by

(01:05:55):
the way, I haven't seen enough of his stand up.
I know he's one of my best friends. I haven't
seen enough standup to say that. I not say that,
but he is. He does a storytelling show. And to
watch comics go up, who are joke writers tell a story?
You watch them bail out so quick. And then to
watch like great Doug standhops a great storyteller, Butt or
miss Pat is a brilliant storyteller, Joey Diaz phenomenal storyteller.

(01:06:19):
And by the way, they can choose to do it
or not do it in their hour, that's up to you.
But when you watch like a great storyteller, they sit
in the moment and they draw you in and they
have just Ron White, the best storyteller there ever is
and a great joke writer. But like, yeah, I uh,
if you come to the show tonight, you'll see me

(01:06:40):
bail on a story, I'll be like, God, dang it.
I Like sometimes I'll just tell the the meat of
a story to work on it. Like I have this
story about Hawaii. I'll tell the meat, the two meat
parts to it to get in and just to work
on them because it's like I already know where I wanted.
I need this to be funnier and quicker and faster,
so I'll just tell the meat story of it. I'll

(01:07:01):
just pull like a chunk of it and work on that.
But uh, yeah, when you see like like Eddie Murphy
when he talked about his dad beating his mom, and
you're like, that's the brilliant shit. When you when someone
share something that that is so vulnerable, especially to them
as children, You're like, holy shit, Lilian, you know that's

(01:07:24):
a traumatic moment in him and Charlie's life when his
dad would get drunk and he and he makes it
so fucking funny. That's why I love That's why I
love storytellers.

Speaker 2 (01:07:33):
And they say that some of the best jokes and
comedians pull on those traumatic moments in their life.

Speaker 1 (01:07:39):
Yeah, I think so, because it's relatable. I think it's relatable,
and I think everyone can everyone can identify with that.
It's hard, Like I used to. I have a million
stories about traveling the world. So I was on travel
Channel for nine years. Very unrelatable, wildly unrelateable.

Speaker 2 (01:07:55):
Yeah, didn't you like swim with great white sharks?

Speaker 1 (01:07:57):
Yeah? I fought a bear. It was an NFL player
for a day, a major league, a cage fighter for
the day. I fought four graces at once. I jumped
off the worlds. I jumped off the stratus. I was
the first person to jump off the stratosphere. It's a
great story, and I could never get it to work
because people were like, why am I listening? Because they're like, okay, cool,

(01:08:19):
you did that. Like I had a great story that
about my first open water dive at ninety feet, but
people were like, none of that registers with me. I
don't really know what you're talking about because they didn't
go through it. So but then you tell a story
about you know, your daughter getting her first period, and
a lot of parents are like, oh my god, I
remember that day, and so then they connect to it,
so like it's got to be relatable and.

Speaker 2 (01:08:40):
Like or it's like when you were talking about the
ninety feet dive thing, earlier. We went into this because
I found out that Bird's done diving before true Florida man,
and you were saying, you know, I did. I think
everybody just wants an activity that they can do with
their wife. Yeah, and that's the better segue into like, well,
it's funny.

Speaker 1 (01:08:57):
I had a joke about riding motorcycles, so I had
to take a motorcycle riding class, and you see so
many couples go in there to take the class together.
Same with scuba diving. There's so many couples going this
will be our activity. It's almost like they're saying, we're
about to break up. We are both overweight, we're not
attracted to each other, but we need something to do
together that isn't sex. Do you want to buy motorcycles?

(01:09:19):
Do you want to get into scuba diving? And then
you see them in the class like trying to like connect,
and you're just sitting there like both of these people
are gonna be in wheelchairs. They should not be driving motorcycles.
There's no part of them that's a competent underwater diver.
But goddamn bless them, Like, babe, let's just do a
pickleball league. Yeah, thank god Pickleball showed up. Yeah for

(01:09:41):
these I mean, I went I went to, You'll never
forget the jokes you write in these moments. I went to,
I've done all these classes. I was doing by myself
because Leanne has no interest. But I took motorcycle riding
classes or whatever it's called motorcycle class and a couple

(01:10:02):
showed up for the first day. Now it's a two
day class. The first day is all in class, the
second day is on a motorcycle, and then you get
your license. They showed up to the class section in
full leather motorcycle outfits like chaps, and I was like,
we're just sitting in a classroom. And I was like,
these people will be on the side of the road
with someone going ma'am, can you hear me? Like that?

(01:10:25):
That will be their story. I would. I took a
scuba class with someone who the second we got in
the water put in the thing went underwater. I go,
how are you gonna hear anything they're telling us? It's
like that, Yeah, it's crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:10:35):
How do you feel like stand up comedy and being
a comedian and making it in this industry has helped
you in your everyday life outside of work.

Speaker 1 (01:10:45):
I don't think it's helped me at all. I think
it's hindered me. I think I'm I think I'm probably
tough to be around. I'm singularly focused on my career.
I uh, I only have one care and it's like,
I think it's I don't think it's helped at all.
If anything, I think this is gonna sound so gross,

(01:11:07):
but I think fame made me more comfortable with me. Like,
I think I was so uncomfortable with me my whole
life because I was so bizarre. I was the weirdest kid,
and I kept it to myself and I didn't share
anything because I was like so I just felt so
different from everyone, you know. I told Chappelle this one time,
my favorite joke he ever told He's got a lot

(01:11:29):
of them, my favorite thing he's ever said. And he
said it casually. He remembered saying it. But I don't
think it's on a special he said, Do you remember
when you went to first grade and you got there
and you felt like, how do these kids already know
each other? Did they grow up together? Like you felt
like you're the only one who didn't know anyone. I

(01:11:49):
felt like that my entire life, and I think I've
always been fighting to feel like someone I know people,
or I have friends or whatever it is. And when
I got famous this sounds weird, but I was like,
I feel like I finally belong in the world. Like

(01:12:10):
I feel like, you know, when we're doing the jog
and people are saying, hi, Bert makes me feel really good.
And I know that you're not supposed to feel that way.
I don't know what you're supposed to say if you're famous.
I guess there's like they're talking points to manipulate your audience.
There are that they go, you know, I just do
the work or whatever you're supposed to fucking say. That's
not who I am. And this is also part of

(01:12:31):
me being uncomfortable. Is like, yeah, that like checked a
few boxes for me, and having money checked some boxes
for me, and I can finally I'm finally okay to
be around because all those unchecked boxes made for an
uncomfortable guy who like had to tell you what he

(01:12:52):
had done, had to prove himself, had to be funny,
had to be the life of the party, had to
be all these things. And now I think I'm a
little better at being regular like other people and like
letting other people tell stories and not having to be
the funniest person in the room or not having to
draw focus, you know. And I've seen that happen to

(01:13:13):
other people, you know. You know, I've seen that happen
to other people that where I go, I think their
success checks some boxes for them. Now, our success is
in fame and money, and that's how you know a comedian,
but you know, in business. I'm certain that happens in
business or in sports. You know, there's the guy that's

(01:13:36):
unbearable in sports until he gets on the all star
team and then he starts to be the team leader
and then he finds his place. So, yeah, it's a
gross thing to say, but I'm cool with saying gross.

Speaker 2 (01:13:47):
Ship Well, I also feel like it's such a common thing.
I would imagine that people do feel that put themselves
out there creatively online.

Speaker 1 (01:13:57):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:13:57):
It's like you have this calling to express yourself, to
connect to more people. I don't know, to like let
your creativity shine. I just I feel like what you
just explained is probably common with a lot of people
that put themselves out there, because I feel like I
can relate to that in a lot of ways.

Speaker 1 (01:14:13):
I think, you know, I don't know. I've tried to
explore everything I go through in this business and everything,
you know, everything that happens to me. I try not
to let it change me, but also let it change
me and let myself grow and realize that these experiences,

(01:14:35):
if I stayed the same guy I was when I
when I met Joe, and that's like before, I think
it's easier to quantify that. I definitely no one knew
who the fuck I was before I met Joe. I
don't no one, no one really, no one would like me,

(01:14:56):
you know, like I think you're the growth is part
of the thing where you turn into a better per
Growth is good. Yeah, And I think what people think.
You know, in comedy, they're like, oh, he's changed, and
you're like, yeah, usually for the better. Look, some people
change for the worst. But I've been in therapy for
a long time. I've been married to the same woman,

(01:15:18):
I got great kids. Like, all the growth is good,
you know, even me not drinking right now, or me
going back to drinking, or me figuring out where drinking
lands on my radar, all that's good. Everything's growth is good.

Speaker 2 (01:15:32):
When you look back at your career to where you
are now, What would you say are the biggest ways
that you've grown and what advice would you have for
people that are going through it.

Speaker 1 (01:15:40):
Right now with One of the biggest things parts of
my growth was to stop listening to people. That was like,
and it's interesting because I try not to give advice
to anyone, although I do have crazy advice that I
think is applicable, but not listening to people was the first.
Listening to myself is probably my biggest bit of growth.

(01:16:03):
When I said, fuck everyone, no one knows what I'm
going through. No one knows my experience, no one knows
what I believe in. I remember thinking, am I gonna
Am I gonna fail on someone else's advice or fail
on my own advice. I'd rather want to go fucking
I'm putting all my money on eleven then go like, well,
the right bet to make here is no no, no, no,
no no, go with your gut. And that for me

(01:16:23):
was leaning into the internet, leaning into podcasting, getting away
from television. I was such a I was such a
format guy. Like television was a safe move. I had kids.
Travel channel was a safe move. Signed a deal with
Travel Channel how do I get back on television. And
then at a certain point in twenty sixteen, I went,
you know what, I'll tell you what I'm into is
I'm into podcast I'm watching podcasts. I'm not watching television

(01:16:45):
the way everyone else is. And and you know, luckily
I got fired from Travel Channel at that period, and
I decided I'm gonna draw it lean into this and
then and then I noticed that I liked the Internet.
I liked Insta. Despite the fact that all my friends
were watching Instagram and YouTube, they weren't making it yet.

(01:17:07):
And I remember going like, I'm gonna do promo videos,
like I like a good video. I know how to edit.
I learned how to edit. I know how to include music.
I know I have a great camera G seven I
think it was a G seven Canon G seven, And
I was like, I can shoot all my content, I
can edit it, I can post it. I'm gonna make
sexy videos. And then I was like, you know, not

(01:17:27):
even like everyone wanted to be the cool young guy comic,
no one wanted to be the dad. And I was like,
you know what, fuck it. I think these stories about
my daughters are funny. And I was like, I'm gonna
lean into it. I'm gonna screw it. I remember Netflix
coming to me with a half hour special and they
were like, do you want to do this? And everyone
said yes. Everyone I was friends with were like do it?

(01:17:47):
Do it? And I said no. The formats an hour
and I passed, and then they came back six months
later they're like, do you want to do an hour?
Thank god I did that. I mean, leaning into your
own instant is the greatest advice I can give anyone.
In twenty twenty, the pandemic hit and I just released
Hey big Boy, I think and I said to myself,

(01:18:11):
I want a tour during the pandemic and everyone said
don't and I said, hmmm, I think there's a way
to do it safe, and I think I'm going to
create it. And I created it and I won a
lot of awards for it, and I toured all through
the pandemic and that special became Razzle Dazzle, one of
my bigger specials. Because I worked all through the twenty

(01:18:33):
twenty and twenty twenty one when no one was working,
so I had to jump start on everybody. And so
when Netflix was like, who we need we want to
put out specials. No one's got material like I'm right here.
Thank god. I didn't listen to anyone, I mean anyone.
The promo videos I did, the dancing video where I
learned how to hip hop dance, like every silly thing

(01:18:55):
I've ever done. You know, when I went into Netflix
with free Bert, and I was trusting my instinct and
I said, I don't want to do episodic. I want
to do a sixth episode arc, and I want it
to be about just me and my family, and I
don't want to change any names. All the things they
tell you not to do in a TV show, I

(01:19:15):
did all of them and it worked. It was wildly
more successful than I think anyone saw it to be.
Is that is my So many times I was a
company man and I was like, get the job of
Travel Channel. Keep the job of Travel Channel. I don't
smoke weed on Rogan, God forbid. The Travel Channel sees that.

(01:19:37):
Don't talk too much about this. That's not what the
marketplace is picking up. Like, you know, while look at
these comics succeeding, you want to be that guy. You'd
use your dress cooler. Why don't you have a tap
out sweatshirt? You need a tap out sweatshirt that seems
to be what everyone's wearing, or a guy hardy sweatshirt.
I want a guy heardy sweatshirt because that's what it

(01:19:58):
seems like is cool on stage. And then I was like,
I'm gonna take my shirt off on stage. Fuck this.
And then they're like, no one does that, don't do it.
Why would you do that? What are you gonna be
seventy and be shirtless? What are you gonna do a
special shirtless? Yeah? Yeah I am. And then you become
one of the more identify obile people because you're shirtless.
And then you start seeing young kids taking their shirts

(01:20:19):
off to get on stage. You're like, they're like, okay,
you know what. Don't listen to anybody. Don't listen to anybody,
including me. Don't listen to anybody or listen to everybody.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:20:29):
You got to be yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:20:31):
You gotta be yourself. That's what Will Smith told me.
You got to be yourself. He told me that a
yurinal when both our dicks were out. That's all I
heard out of the whole because he peedes so strong,
which means he has a big dick, and he was like,
you gotta be yourself and I and you know, and
being yourself is saying the uncomfortable things that you go
I hope this resonates with people. I hope people don't
find this gross, and if they do, I hope it

(01:20:53):
tickles something in them that they exploring themselves. Yeah, you
got to be yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:20:57):
Well, you've got so much going on, you've got to
show it in You're on tour, you have a new
special coming out, You've got the Netflix as a joke
five K coming up soon. Talk to us about all
the things that you've got going on. What are your
excited for everybody to tune in for.

Speaker 1 (01:21:09):
I am excited about this hour that I'm working on,
and I'm excited for people to come out on tour.
I have one more month left, all of May, and
then I'll go into production on Free Bert Season two,
and then I'll be back out September through December. I'll
be doing international dates January through June. Hopefully we'll be
into another season of Free birt Or I'll do a

(01:21:30):
movie July and June of twenty twenty seven, and I'll
be filming this special twenty twenty seven. Here's the deal
I put out a ton of stuff. I got two Bears,
one cave. I got Burt cast I got Something's burning.
I'm always on my wife's podcast, Wife of the Party.
I have the two Bears five k We have a

(01:21:53):
vodka called Porosos. I have sticks in every fire this
same way, the same way a couple plans out their
year of vacations. I plan it with work. I love
eventizing life. I'll be back at the NASCAR at the
Daytona five hundred to throw the official pre party of
the Daytona five hundred. Next year. I'll be at the

(01:22:15):
South Beach Food and Wine Festival. Next year, I'll be
in Europe. I'll be in Australia. I will take my
family to Greece at some point this year. Like I
plan out the year so I have something to look
forward to and hopefully I'll be alive for all of it.

Speaker 2 (01:22:29):
Yeah, and I know we mentioned Jesse. It'sler. Are you
a big ass calendar user? Like? Do you put everything
on the calendar?

Speaker 1 (01:22:34):
I've you know, I got to be honest with you.
I fucking stole his idea and I've taken it to
the next level. My whole kitchen is filled with calendars.
I have huge months printed out that are like poster size.
I do every month, and I fill up those months.
I love visually of how it looks. Love. I love

(01:22:55):
an old school calendar of writing things down. What I
do is I wish I had my joke book with
me out. I have calendars everywhere. I have calendars on
my phone. I have calendars in my joke book. I
have calendars in my journal where I print them out,
I draw them out and I and I plan things
so I can see what the year looks like. Because
I try to keep things very eventized. Once every month,

(01:23:15):
something big once every month. And yeah, I've got something
big every month for the next until the end of
twenty twenty seven. The end of twenty twenty seven, I
will be fifty five, and I will have a big
come to Jesus moment. I will, I will. I'm hopefully
going to do something epic like sale from La to

(01:23:35):
Hawaii with my wife. That'd be cool to figure out
what's going to happen for the rest of my life.

Speaker 2 (01:23:41):
I can't wait do some ayahuasca.

Speaker 1 (01:23:44):
No, you will never get lean Christ here to do ayahuasca.
And by the way, I don't know if I want that.

Speaker 2 (01:23:49):
No, I've actually heard that people don't want their husbands
anymore doing ayahuasca because they come back they get a
different person. Somebody who's telling me that the other day
that was on the show. Oh yeah, like it like changes.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:24:00):
It's well they're saying, I be again and all these things.
They change your your DNA, and yeah, I don't. I
like who I am. I like being an alcoholic. I
like I like working out too hard. I like being
obsessed with work. I love being in love with my life.
I can't imagine what if I came home from Mahwasca
and I wasn't in love with Leanne thing. I saw
her for what she is. I was like, look at

(01:24:21):
this old bitch. How did she ever get this young guy?

Speaker 2 (01:24:24):
I get? No, my favorite thing about you is how
much you love your job. I'm so excited to see
what you continue to do. Thank you so much for
running with me and being on post run high. I'm
always down for a run, so can you tell that I.

Speaker 1 (01:24:35):
Had a little bit of a post run high, even
for just a mile. I came in here hot, you did,
which is great.

Speaker 2 (01:24:40):
Yeah, you gotta come in hot, come on. Yeah, but
I think we might have to rebrand to out of breath.

Speaker 1 (01:24:46):
Out of breath. By the way, I was pretty I
was pretty good. I've been pretty good with my breath on.

Speaker 2 (01:24:50):
You weren't out of breath at all? Yeah, yeah, by
the way, pretty great, shous I was definitely out of
breath at eight months pregnant.

Speaker 1 (01:24:55):
Thirty nine. Thirty nine is my my VO two.

Speaker 2 (01:25:00):
Oh not bad.

Speaker 1 (01:25:02):
I had a thirty eight HRV last night. I got
my resting heart rate is fifty eight. I'm sleeping incredibly.
I have all thanks to my whoop. Let's go shout
out to will Oop's great.

Speaker 2 (01:25:19):
You gotta start wearing your woop.

Speaker 1 (01:25:21):
You don't wear your wooph because you're too young. You
need to get old. Really, all these metrics matter when
you're both.

Speaker 2 (01:25:28):
Men love their freaking whoop. Like every guy that comes
in here has a whoop. The girls are wearing or rings.

Speaker 1 (01:25:34):
Keep this in because whoop is for everybody. Don't think
you need to be an elite athlete to wear a whoop.

Speaker 2 (01:25:40):
That's a nice looking whoop.

Speaker 1 (01:25:42):
Well, I am friends with the owner, so I got
the new band. These aren't out yet. It's leather. It's
pretty nice. Whatever that's good looking. Everyone thinks I wear
two watches, and I'm like, guys, I'm not the guy
that it's my whoop. I'm longevity conscious. And then I
got this bracelet yesterday. Mind myself that life is short
in black, so that I see black and I realize

(01:26:04):
one day I'll be at there will be a funeral
for me, I'll and I won't be there, And so
I got to do all this shit I want to
do before that funeral.

Speaker 2 (01:26:11):
Do you think you won't be there. I have a
theory that you get to watch your own funeral.

Speaker 1 (01:26:15):
I hope I do. I hope I do. But I
will have notes. I will be haunting anyone who doesn't
give a great speech about me. I already have a
list of who I want to speak at my funeral.
My buddy Weicho one hundred percent. He cries, but he's
not a crier. So when he cries, it's really uncomfortable
and it makes you cry. I want everyone crying at
my funeral. Oh, I hope I have a fan, all

(01:26:36):
a lot of people. Oh. I want drinks throughout my funeral.
I want celebration. I've lived a better life than then. Listen,
let's be very clear. I've lived a more eventful, crazy, productive,
celebratory life than ninety nine point nine nine nine percent
of this world. Of this world, there's a kid digging

(01:26:57):
blood diamonds in Sierra Leone right now. Who's like, wait what.
This guy's sitting in front of a microphone. He's wait what,
he's got a what's a whoop? Like he tracks his sleep.
I sleep in a hole next to the diamonds I
dig the next day. I have a great life. Not
to mention all the great stuff. I want my funeral
to be a celebration, and I want a funeral. So

(01:27:18):
many people don't have funerals because death is so sad.
I want a funeral. I want a fucking funeral. I
want it to be in a big church. I want
everyone pass around flasks. I want everyone hitting fuck alcohol.
And I want music. I want I want it to
be about three hours long. I want Rogan to podcast
host it. I want like guys. I would be great
if Rogan. He's like, he's like, so this is crazy.

(01:27:40):
Bird's dead. Wow, we never thought we'd be here, all right,
my first guest, and he just brings up people who
talk about me. That would be badass.

Speaker 2 (01:27:48):
Well that's it. That's around.

Speaker 1 (01:27:50):
It has been great.

Speaker 2 (01:27:50):
You were the best. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (01:27:52):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:27:53):
I'm always down for a run. As soon as I
get this baby out, we're going for a longer run.
Hi guys, Kate here. Thank you so much for tuning
into today's conversation with Bert Kreischer. I hope you enjoyed
it as much as I did. I just loved finding
out that running has been a huge part of Bert's life.

(01:28:15):
This is something that I did not expect and did
not know, so that was just a fun thing to
learn about him, amongst so many other things. He's such
a gem. I hope we can have him back on
the Running Interview Show or Post Run High again at
some point. And if you are enjoying Post Run High,
please be sure to follow the show wherever you're listening
and share this episode with a friend. I'll see you

(01:28:37):
guys next week.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Host

Kate Mackz

Popular Podcasts

Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Bert Kreischer: The Running Life Nobody Knew About