You Get an "A" For Effort: Beautiful Plans, Become Ridiculous Crimes

Often times the crimers on this show come up with audacious plans for their capers, heists and cons. But far too often they forget the other half of the equation: how to get away with their crimes. That's the theme of this episode! It features a single mother who tries to dig a tunnel to her child in prison, a techno DJ who sells phony airplane engine parts to major airlines, and a French academic who makes up an academy to give himself an award.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ridiculous crime. It's a production of iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Elizabeth Zab look at you Za, I'm gonna start talking
like this, Zab Hellai.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
I think that'd be really a good fit for you.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
And we're huge costume jewelry uh huh, coral lipstick, yes,
and caftan.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
And really really floral perfume.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Oh, I mean you'll smell me common Yeah. Yeah, She's like, oh,
she's coming over to my house. And then I pull
up in my jaloppie.

Speaker 3 (00:30):
Zab before you make that ground domb life change and
you have a question for you? Yes, do you know
what else is ridiculous? Oh?

Speaker 2 (00:41):
I do?

Speaker 3 (00:42):
I do?

Speaker 2 (00:44):
Batman Batman? Yeah, but Mexican Batman Batman. Oh you know
we've talked Batman extensively, ad nauseum completely and so uh
you know John Batman d DS. Well, this is this
a there's a Mexican vigilante honestly, and they're calling him

(01:07):
Mexican Batman and he he's being hunted by the police
because he finds guys who's stolen like uh, motor scooters,
and he takes them and tapes them heavily to phone.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
Polls like duct tapes.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Duct tapes them to lamp posts and he puts like
a sign over their head that tells what they've done.
It's taped to the post. And then like he draws
like mustaches or cat whiskers with pen on their face
and then he writes rato like a thief written on
their face, and then puts the stolen scooter at their

(01:47):
feet stolen again. And so they're calling him the Batman
of Lagos de Moreno. And it's this place in Jalisco,
So yeah, the law enforce less.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Uh huh, where's like major cartel actions. Yeah, Mexican Batman.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
Hunting around so terrifying. It looks very abu gray, like
the duct taping and the and they're just like arms
to their sides, are in front of them right, also
looks like sometimes it's two and one two on the
same post. I'm going to have Terry put these all
up on Instagram and so but if you don't have that,
if you don't have Instagram, look up Mexican batman and

(02:27):
it's all over the all over the internet. So the
prosecutors are like, well, you know, these guys are actually
the victims for abduction and like assault because they're also
he beats the tar. Yeah, so they're all bloodied and
like they got cuts on their faces, missing a tooth.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
Do we know for certain that they have stolen the
motorcycles and motorbikes discooters allegedly?

Speaker 2 (02:51):
Allegedly, but like it's pretty pretty obvious.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
That part of the leg work.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
Oh, he totally is.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
It's not just like you know, getting referrals.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
Totally is. And so yeah, this started like in the
beginning of June and it's gone on like there are
five cases, I think, so all the rude dudes have
been sending us this stuff and like I had seen
it independently and it was just like, this is amazing.
Is a Mexican batman? Awesomely awesomely ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (03:20):
It's gone over.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
Ten days, yes, ten day period. But I love the
cat whiskers drom on their faces.

Speaker 3 (03:26):
That's an interesting touch. It's very Christian Bale batman. I
gotta hand on that.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
Yeah, it's very George Clooney batman.

Speaker 3 (03:34):
It is not. There are no nipples, Clooney. Well, do
you know what else is ridiculous?

Speaker 2 (03:42):
Please tell me?

Speaker 3 (03:43):
You know how the most crimes we cover begin with
one of two things, either like this burning desire or
like a very calculated plan. Sure, right, And typically an
unplanned crime is the type that begins with desire, whereas
the planned crimes usually begin with like a goal and
some kind of like plan to get there. Right now, today,

(04:03):
I have for you, Elizabeth, crimes that were planned but
they failed because of the crimer's desire.

Speaker 4 (04:09):
Oh no, yeah, that's the both world worst enemy.

Speaker 3 (04:34):
This is Ridiculous Crime, a podcast about absurd and outrageous capers,
hest and cons. It's always ninety nine percent murder free
and one hundred percent ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (04:50):
So saw Ridiculos got to work on it. I got
to work it out, zob.

Speaker 3 (04:56):
It's coming together. It really is, Elizabeth, our first crime
today because I have a compendium of crimes. It hinges
on a mother's love, which can be a beautiful thing
as we no it guess, and if the stakes are
high enough, it could also be criminally ridiculous. So that's
the case with this crime. But before we dive into
this one, I have a question for you. It's about

(05:17):
your mom. Okay, tell me about your mother.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
Don't talk about mama now.

Speaker 3 (05:21):
My question is rather straightforward. Yeah, imagine you were in
prison serving a life sentence. Okay, okay, so you're imagining right, yeah, okay,
I'm right there. My question is, do you think your mother,
working all by herself alone at night, would dig an
escape tunnel to free you from prison.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
I think if she had to, she would, But honestly,
she'd spring me like the legal way.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
Other ways.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
Yes, she will assemble, like better than the OJ dream team. Totally,
she would have It would be like you know, the
the Vultron.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
They would come together and form a super Yeah, get
me out on jurisproof.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
I'm standing legal grounds. If that wasn't possible, yeah, she
would totally.

Speaker 3 (06:07):
Hire a French helicopter.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
Team and come up with some crazy plan and pull
it off. She's tough. She's tough.

Speaker 3 (06:14):
That's what I was thinking. But now, for contrast, my
mother would not even raise a finger to get me
out of prison. Oh my god, are you kidding me?
I can't imagine in her like small cramped spaces in
the dark, taking a tunnel that ain't happening, yeah, and
then then hiring a dream team. She'd be like, well,
you know, honey, I tried, but I'm gonna pray about it.

(06:37):
And I'd be like that ain't gonna work late. So now,
if you can believe it, there was a mother who
was faced with the same question, a mother in Ukraine,
and she did exactly what one would hope mother might too,
or I would hope she tried to dig a tunnel
to prison.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
That's what That's what good, big bad mamas do, right.
I love a good big.

Speaker 3 (06:59):
Band totally, Mama bear on the look on the for justice. Now,
we don't know this woman's name, unfortunately it's never been released,
but we do know she was fifty one years old
at the time. We also know she traveled from her
home in the Mikalayev region in Ukraine to the Zapporiza
oblost in the settlement called Kamyantskiya. Sorry for my pronunciation,

(07:20):
but sure, I'm trying.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
I'm so offended right now. Once she don't know what
you really actually said, she.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
Found a rental house for herself. She rented that and
according to the Ukrainian news outlets TSN, which in English
stands for Television News Service, they reported on her daring
prison break in. TSN explained that behind the prison's iron bars,
the institution held lifers and murderers, so it was like

(07:45):
a maximum security joint and the American magazine Popular Mechanics.
They also covered this story much easier to read in English.
From me and then their reporting, they found official records
that suggested the prison was the Vilneskaya in Stitution for
the Execution of Sentences number eleven. Okay, such like the
most like god, I know right Eastern European prisons.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
I can see, I can see it, like printed on
a piece of vapor.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
Exactly. Now, this is all backed up by the October
twenty twenty four Ukrainian Ombudsman National Preventative Mechanism Report. That's
basically a prison inspection. Right, So, at the time of
the most recent prison inspection, that facility in Vilniskaya they
had held a one hundred and sixty seven people. That
number included one hundred and four people who were sentenced

(08:32):
to life imprisonment. That's crazy numbers, one hundred and four,
one hundred and sixty seven wiers.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah, and the rest of the marl.

Speaker 3 (08:39):
Exactly, I hope I make it. Now, presumably her son
was one of the lifers, and I assume that means
he was in for murder. Once again, all the assumptions,
none of this is in the reporting. So this same
prison report from October twenty twenty four, they noted that
the Vilniskaya prison was in poor shape. They had numerous
buildings in the prison complex only partially usable or they

(09:02):
were listed as being in the middle of repairs. Right,
but the repairs had gone on for like twenty years.
Like I found that there was one building where only
five percent of its roof wasn't damaged. It was damaged.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
That's not a conditions must have just been.

Speaker 3 (09:19):
Oh completely, Yeah, I imagined wintertime, like you're getting snowed
on inside of the prison. Okay, you get the idea. Now,
imagine your son or your daughter is in this prison
serving a life sentence and they don't even have a
roof over their head, and that everyone around them is
basically a murderer. So obviously a mother's like, I'm gonna
have to break my boy. Yeah right, I.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
Don't have a kid. But if that happened to my nephew,
are you kidding me?

Speaker 3 (09:44):
See, you know, you couldn't.

Speaker 2 (09:45):
Spring that kid so quickly, even if he was a
grown man.

Speaker 3 (09:50):
So what was this mother's plan to free her son?
Great question, Elizabeth, it is you get right to the
point always. Her plan was, as I said, she'd tunnel
to the prison grounds. Then she'd like pop up in
the prison and somehow find and free her son. I
don't know, it's a classic she all breaks scenario. Once

(10:10):
I'm inside, I'm gonna get busy. Yeah. So she rents
that rental house I said, near the prison, and she
brought with her and an electric scooter.

Speaker 2 (10:18):
Cute.

Speaker 3 (10:19):
Why an electric scooter? Well, because the mom planned to
do some sight seeing. No, like some kidding like.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
A moped scooter or like one of those push ones.

Speaker 3 (10:27):
I think electric, like you know, like the bird scooters
that you see, yeah, lettering.

Speaker 2 (10:31):
Downtown, the ones that people ride on the sidewalk at break.

Speaker 3 (10:35):
Next speed they go over twenty five miles an hour.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
And I love when it's like a tourist in San
Francisco and it's like a girl in you know, awkward
sandals in the sundress and she's just hauling down ahead.

Speaker 3 (10:49):
Her friend is on the scooter with me.

Speaker 2 (10:50):
It's really wobbly, and I'm just like I can't I
can't watch. I cannot watch them just eat gravel like this.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
Is so Luckily mod did not eat any gravel. So
but what she really wanted. What she was after was
a form of travel that was both light so she
could lift it move it around, and also was silent.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
That's good too, run silent, run deep. Exactly a weapon
if it's light enough.

Speaker 3 (11:17):
Breaker.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
That's what I'm talking about. I take that scooter into
the prison and just right hi, Yeah, I'm like one coming.
I'm like, that's the noise that it makes when you
crack someone skull with a scooter?

Speaker 5 (11:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (11:32):
Have you ever heard that? Sounds probably what I never
heard when it echoes through the halls of a dilapidated prison,
heads bursting like melons. Go ahead, tell the rest.

Speaker 3 (11:45):
So every night, imagine this single mom fifty one year old,
hopped on her electric scooters, silently gliding through the darkness
as she.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
Commutes to her She wore a cape.

Speaker 3 (11:54):
So too, but also like a kerchief. Yeah, exactly got
the whole. So she said, there she is commuting to
her improvised dig site. You got the mental image. Since
she didn't want any of the locals to discover what
she was really up to when it was daytime, she
largely avoided any and all contact local folks, Like she
didn't leave the house. Yeah, she's like on straight Batman hours.

(12:16):
To put it in terms of yeah, so there she is,
laying low. She did do some grocery shopping apparently, but
other than that she kept her head down. She's there exactly, Elizabeth.
She wasn't there to make any new friends, obviously, or
to find any silver haired lovers, so it wasn't hard
for her to keep focused and just be like all
about that tunnel life. So meanwhile, every night for about

(12:38):
three weeks, she'd sneak out on her silent electric scooter
commute to her dig site, and with none of her
neighbors ever catching on, she was like this ninja grandma, right, yeah,
And she was so successful that at the first part
of her plan, the langlow totally successful. So even to
the point that Ukrainian news reporters when they asked the
locals about her and they like had a picture of her,
they like showed her the picture. No one in the

(13:00):
village recognized her, Like nobody they went to like the
main store in the village, like you know this woman,
yeah yip. So once she's at her dig site, right,
she get to work like she's on the clock, right,
So she's hand built this curious device to help her
with her tunnel plans. According to a local firefighter who
saw this handbuilt device, it was and I quote, a

(13:22):
special little cart made of plywood with small wheels that
she would lay down on and drive there. And the
thing was like seventy centimeters wide. Yes, so imagine it's
like twenty eight inches wide, so like a little over
two feet wide, and you're laying it down like it's
like not on rails like El Choppo with the motorcycle.
The same idea, something to be able to scurry or

(13:43):
scoot back and forth real yoah yeah, and also carry
loads of dirt with you get the idea, clever. Imagine
like all the research she's done for this tunnel is
like watching the prison movie The Great Escape, and she's like,
I'm gonna do everything they did. I will be Charles Bronson.
No I. So she's in her subterranean tunnel by hand,
by hand, Elizabeth, can you imagine being in your own

(14:07):
hand dug amateur tunnel night after no.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
Because I'm terribly claustrophobe. I would lose it, and I
am terribly impatient in most things like that. So I'm
just digging. I'm like I can't. It would be faster
for me to go and get a job in the
prison and work my way up to and then be like,
gues ps, you're out of here.

Speaker 3 (14:24):
I don't eve think you have to get that far.
Just get up to guard and just escort them.

Speaker 2 (14:27):
Yeah, I mean that's easier. You get like a fake
you get's doing all this digging. Come a cook, put
the put the emphasis on fake papers. You have a
different ID, and then you weasele your way in that way.
And oh, you're just like the best employee. You can
do whatever you want.

Speaker 3 (14:42):
I like your plan so good. With plans down the
street and around the corner on this plan from where
she is.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
You know, kids have lemonade stands.

Speaker 3 (14:51):
Outside, you've got criminals.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
I'm going to set a table out like Charlie Brown psychiatrist,
except I'm just gonna be plans.

Speaker 3 (15:00):
You're the lucy in this case.

Speaker 2 (15:01):
Yeah. You just come to me and you're like, here's
my dilemma. I was like, all right, here's your plan.

Speaker 3 (15:05):
I need to get two cousins out of Afghanistan. They're
locked up.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
All right, let's do this. Sit down, let me get
out my paper, let's go.

Speaker 3 (15:13):
So after three weeks of work, her tunnel had managed
to stretch thirty three feet towards the prison yard.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
That's a long way, especially for.

Speaker 3 (15:22):
One person working alone, but at night by themselves.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
And how like what kind of soiler we.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
I imagine it was pretty hard. It was pretty difficult ground.
And I don't know, if we're talking winter, we're like,
you got frozen earth?

Speaker 2 (15:37):
Oh forget it. There's no way she could.

Speaker 3 (15:39):
Do it in the winter or even close. You know,
maybe you're thawing out. I don't know. Well.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
And then if it's summertime, mosquitos zerin.

Speaker 3 (15:46):
I don't think they're in the tunnels.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
Could they chase you in there? They would follow me
in there.

Speaker 3 (15:50):
Just chasing the heat. So one resident of vill in
the Sky I told the TSN News outlet quote the
mother prepared so thoroughly. Maybe she's a minder's daughter. It
would be difficult to simply dig three meters deep. I
don't think she called an excavator, excavator.

Speaker 2 (16:07):
Excavator Wait, so she went, o wait, three meters deep?
So okay, I'm trying to figure this out.

Speaker 3 (16:13):
Three meters deep, thirty three feet long? Yeah, wow, there're
ten meters if you are right right right, keep it meters.
Oh my god, keep it say so.

Speaker 2 (16:22):
I'm like, I'm freaking out thinking about being in that tunnel.

Speaker 3 (16:25):
Right over, nine to ten feet deep. No to go.
And also, by the way, she's just doing this all
full on, single mother style, handling it all by herself, right,
So to get rid of the excavated earth, she didn't
do like they did in the Great Escape, or they
filled their pockets with dirt and they secretly empty their
pockets as they walk around to the prison yard. Nope,
not her. Her plan was way simpler, right to the point.

(16:46):
She hauled the dirt from the tunnel and piled it
in an abandoned building not far from the prison smart, right,
So she's just got that. And I'm talking like, after
three weeks she had a small hill of earth. It
was literally tons of dirt.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
Yeah, three feet long. Bite whatever. Every day you call
her single mom. It reminds me of the time I
came here to headquarters and I had a bandana on,
like my head kerchief style, and you told me I
look like a seventies single mom who's having like irritated
at the price of cereal.

Speaker 3 (17:18):
Don't like Marcia Mason would play you in the movie.

Speaker 2 (17:20):
Yeah, and like cutting coupons and really sweating it. But
guess what kids were gonna be? Okay, have never worn
a bandana kerchief since I'm so sorry, it's okay.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
So the trouble for this dedicated single mother was although
she had dug the thirty three feet ten meters, she
still had another two hundred meters to go or about
six hundred, oh good sixty feet, Elizabeth, she wasn't even
like tenth of the.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
Way they're telling you. She got to come to me
and maybe.

Speaker 3 (17:49):
Five percent is not. Long story short, the single mom
on a mission never really got close to the prison fence,
let alone into or under the prison grounds. Her tunnel
was discovered by prison staff long before that occurred. Yeah,
how was it discovered? Great question? Yeah, it wasn't reported
in the Ukrainian language news stories that I read and
had translated into English. But the prison staff, apparently from

(18:11):
what I could tell, refused to offer any details about
how they found it in case anyone else wanted to
try the same approach. Also, they seemed rather confident that
even if she had made it under the prison fence,
it would have been majorly difficult to link up with
her son, and they turn them back out via the tunnel,
because remember they got a prison full of murderers and
lifers that she's got to get her to get to
her boy. Yeah, and then get back out with that

(18:32):
any of them going I'm coming too right. Maybe she
planned to go in there like going heavy with an
AK forty seven and started barking orders.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
I don't know, pop out of the ground like a gopher. Yeah,
like Constantine, Constantine, have you seen him?

Speaker 3 (18:49):
But as one local, Anastasia pi Leifskya, told the Ukrainian News,
that's what the mother is like, and now she will
sit with her son.

Speaker 2 (18:58):
Oh oh burn, that is so cold, yeah, Tray Slavic, Yeah,
it is very.

Speaker 3 (19:07):
So that same local Anastasia, she also expressed a larger
concern beyond a mother's love for her son, pointing out
that uh, after all, they are lifeers and there are
murderers there. Many would have escaped. So she was with
me on the whole point of like this mom is
not just getting her son, she's creating a pathway out
for all those people we want to be in there.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
Liberation.

Speaker 3 (19:28):
That would have been Batlizabeth, It really would have been
I wish I could tell you what Justice's mother faced
for her attempted prison break in, But as Popular Mechanics found,
they were quote unable to find any public report or
statement that confirmed whether she was ever convicted, imprisoned, acquitted,
or otherwise had the case resolved just disappeared. But we
do have to give her an a for effort, because

(19:49):
I know for a fact, once again, my mother would
never So with that, Elizabeth, let's take a little break
after these messages. We will be back with more crimes.

(20:19):
And we're back, Elizabeth. We are you ready for part
two of our compendium of well planned but poorly executed crimes? Well,
next up, we have a truly awe inspiring combination of words.
Some might call this a cursed headline. I say it's fun.
You ready, Yeah, Techno DJ jailed after selling sixty thousand

(20:40):
fake plane parts to major airlines.

Speaker 2 (20:43):
Oh you just never see where it's coming exactly, Like, what.

Speaker 3 (20:48):
How does that relate?

Speaker 5 (20:49):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (20:50):
God, Techno DJ is selling fake plane parts to major airlines.
Gotta love that sixty thousand, So on the face of
it is clearly patly ridiculous. If you want to get
to the heart of it, this one requires a whole
lot of unraveling, and it only gets more ridiculous the
closer you get to the juicy heart. Now, the mastermind
of this scam is a man named Alejandros. The DJ

(21:13):
in question. Now, since I know you're wondering, his DJ
name is Santa Militia or Santa Militia Military. I don't
think it was Spanish translation Santa Militia, of course, I
think I think of it as Santa Militia, like like
Santa Cohn. It's just Santa.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
Oh, he's like a militia of Santa.

Speaker 3 (21:36):
I guess I don't know. Just giving out gifts to children.

Speaker 2 (21:39):
I just imagine that it's not my it's not for me.
It's not I have just had I've had to admit
there are things in this life that are just not
for me. And I'm you know what you do?

Speaker 3 (21:48):
You house, techno, jungle, break beat, none off, that's for
you now. According to the music outlet Electronic Groove DJ.

Speaker 2 (21:57):
Yeah, yeah, that's my favorite magazine, a.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
Santo Malicious set. It was a millage of sounds, or
rather they were because he no longer is a DJ,
but as Electronic Groove put it, and I quote moving
between house, techno, hip hop, Latin and Afro influences. Zamoras
sets are journeys that resist algorithms and stay rooted in feel.

Speaker 2 (22:21):
Means that's all over the place, right you.

Speaker 3 (22:23):
Want that though, Elizabeth to stay rooted and feel.

Speaker 2 (22:27):
It's a journey, Zeron, if he's the standard industry US
journey in the articy, what I'm saying, it's a journey.
What that tells me is that like he just doesn't
know how to go, how to like keep a through
line through and he's just all over the place.

Speaker 3 (22:42):
Whatever I feel right now and on next thing is
the next thing, and they don't want.

Speaker 2 (22:45):
To cap on him, so they're like, it's a journey.

Speaker 3 (22:49):
If you think to stay rooted and feel or to
take a journey is empty phrasing, then you just don't
know electronic music journalism because it was all through that
stuff I read now. In that same interview, Zamora explains
how his creative effort, the White Collar Project, is a
means for him to explore all kinds of creativity. As
Zamora says, and I quote, I tried to approach music, visuals,

(23:13):
and clothing with the same care and attention for me.
It's all one language, just different ways of telling the story.
I don't treat fashion or art as an afterthought, just
all storytelling.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
He's all storytelling. I'm gonna tell you a story instead
of working actual job.

Speaker 3 (23:30):
It's also just different ways of telling a story, like,
for instance, I once told you a story exclusively in shoes.
It wasn't easy. I mean I had to come up
with different voices for all the shoes to keep your attention.
But it all works seamlessly with my DJ set I
mean set right.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
Do you remember you and I were at a place
where DJ was playing and it was like the most jarring.
It would go from like a Bauhaus song to like
too short, and I was my mind was He kept.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
Shooting me looks so like, yeah, did you hear that?
How can I not hear it?

Speaker 2 (24:05):
I imagine it was like at that that show.

Speaker 3 (24:08):
Ye put yourself there and be rooted in.

Speaker 2 (24:11):
The opening acts or opening acts.

Speaker 3 (24:13):
For a reason, this is very true. It is now
Old sent to militia. You know, he'd figured out that
there's lots of ways of telling a story, and some
of them are You could tell a story in crime,
which is what he eventually got around to because he
kept telling his newfound crime story until eventually cost airlines
about fifty three million dollars.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
I cannot wait to find out how we get from
like my T shirt to tistic journey.

Speaker 3 (24:36):
To high ripped top want to buy a ring? So
the story goes. Elizabeth A. Zamara started out like many crimers,
with just a shell company, and then he, like Stone,
souped his way into ripping off major airlines. No, he
called his shell company AOG Techniques a O G. All right. Now,

(24:57):
next thing, you know, he found himself a right market
to explo with his shell company. In his case, he
focused on aftermarket plane engine parts for commercial airlines.

Speaker 2 (25:05):
I mean, how how did he get it? Does he
have like an uncle who does this?

Speaker 3 (25:09):
I could not find a single example from anybody about
like how did he get from A to C? In
this case? What was the B he went through?

Speaker 2 (25:17):
You feel like he was at like a rooftop pool
like Caba. I think he knew somebody and he started
talking to some cat and the guys like listen, I
got this great deal.

Speaker 3 (25:26):
You know, like maybe a former like the romantic partner
worked like doing paperwork for this, and he saw how
easy it was to get that, I don't know, but
I do know how he did it. He he used
his personal computer to create fake safety certifications, then he
printed those up and attached the counterfeit safety certificates to
unlicensed engine components. Oh my god, he primarily focused on

(25:50):
this CFM fifty six engine. And it's neither you nor
I are aeronautics experts. No, I looked up the CFM.

Speaker 2 (25:57):
Tell me, please tell me what plane it's in.

Speaker 3 (26:00):
Technically, the CFM fifty six is a quote high bypass
turbofan aircraft engine. It's also the product of a joint
enterprise between the French company Saffron Aircraft Engines and the
US company ge Aerospace. Okay, now, this engine came to
market about a little more than fifty years ago, in
nineteen seventy four. Initially it was a bust. But after

(26:22):
I'm talking like a bust, Like after five years of
making this engine, the joint enterprise had not received a
single order for their engine.

Speaker 2 (26:28):
You're kidding. They just kept making, not one they're piling
up at Oh.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
My god, thank god. They had just like a stack
of them, all shiny and new, created up ready to go.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
What kind of plane. Is this intended to go in?
Because now I'm terrified that I've flown in one of
these hut oh no.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
So things were looking bad for the old CFM fifty six.
The French American company was about two weeks from shutting
its doors because they couldn't make any more engines to
not sell them. But then a stroke of good luck
occurred because both Delta air Lines and United Airlines ordered
some engines, which saved this company. And this like nineteen
seventy nine. A few years later, in nineteen eighty two,
Boeing was looking to upgrade and replace engines on its

(27:07):
commercial airliner, the very common Boeing seven three seven or
seven thirty seven. Whoa yes, it selected the CFM fifty
six as the replacement engine. And thanks to the engine'es
like low fuel consumption and it's like reduced engine noise,
it sells really well and soon enough becomes an industry standard.

Speaker 2 (27:25):
Well, we know how meticulous Boeing is, exact great safety.

Speaker 3 (27:30):
So I entered DJ Santa Militia aka Jose alejandros Zamora Jerrara.
He looks at the CFM fifty six, it's supply chain
as a Golden ticket. So because the reason why is simple.
The CFM fifty six is perhaps the most common commercial
aircraft engine in the world. Other than it's ubiquity. The
reason why is the more focused on that engine remains

(27:51):
a mystery. Like I said, I could not tell you,
but he just knows, like everybody uses this one.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
So someone gave him a hot tip somewhere.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
Yeah, so he chooses this one as his target for
his fraud, and so, using a show company's pertzal computer
and a printer, he creates his phony supply chain for
his frauduently replacement parts and then he starts selling them
to major airlines and he does this for years. The
worst part is his airline parts were not authenticated because
he was using counterfeit authorized release certificates. Those are the

(28:17):
ones he was printing up at home, and those certificates,
when genuine, are meant to guarantee the parts are proven
to be airworthy. So his parts obviously skipped that crucial step,
meaning they were not confirmed to be airworthy. And who
knows that this would work?

Speaker 2 (28:29):
Where was he getting the actual parts?

Speaker 3 (28:31):
He was getting them from like you know, like you know,
like he get like parts like aftermarket parts. He was
going to like distributors. Basically it's like spelled wrong, like
it's CSM fifty six.

Speaker 2 (28:46):
Is the flea market? Yeah, Like you know, I would
understand if he was doing We've seen that a bunch
of times of like I've got all this paperwork and
they're never actually getting the parts. He somehow is delivering.

Speaker 3 (28:58):
He's delivering the sixty thousand.

Speaker 2 (29:00):
Parts like they're like the seconds. They're the ones that
get thrown away because they weren't proper. That's the question
he dumpster dives. That is the question.

Speaker 3 (29:08):
That's the big questions Why did these get kicked out
of the supply chain?

Speaker 2 (29:12):
Sure?

Speaker 3 (29:12):
Originally like was there a defect? Was yes? So from
twenty nineteen to twenty twenty three, Zamoras sells his unlicensed
aircraft engine parts for the Boeing seven thirty seven and
the Airbus A three twenty oh great right to commercial
airlines all around the world, and I mean to the
big airlines. So we're talking major airline companies, American Airlines, Delta,
United Southwest, Ryanair, Virgin Australia, Ethiopian Airlines, all of them

(29:37):
have their parts in their plans. So do I handle
this insane amount of engine replacement parts he sold. Zamore
created a bunch of fake employees. He had phony sales managers,
totally fake quality control managers, and he's using this small
army of like sock puppet employees to personally while he's
personally handling all the customer correspondence in business trads actions.

Speaker 2 (29:58):
He's a busy guy totally.

Speaker 3 (29:59):
When he was djaying, he was just like eight totally.
I don't know why he couldn't find a real one, yea, Elizabeth.
His fake airplane parts was crushing it. I mean, like
at least compared to the money he was earning his
DJ Santa Militia. He's like, clearly, Claire and House. Now you,
as you were wondering earlier, is it possible that you
flew in one of the airlines with one of his

(30:20):
phony engine replacement parts? The odds are low. But if
you flew on United American Delta or Southwest, all of
which I know you have flown on, the odds are
not zero. Because over that four year stretch, he sold,
as I said, sixty thousand replacement parts. So yeah, so
from from the sales of those sixty parts, they do

(30:44):
the CFM fifty six engine old DJ Santa Militia. He
managed to pull in a profit a roughly nine point
three million.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
Dollars good night.

Speaker 3 (30:53):
Yeah, and he does all of this without a single
AI agent. I mean he just old fashioned human criminal ingenuity,
lots of emails, printer ink getting the job done. Pretty
analog operation, totally, just one DJ working from his home
office in Surrey. That's true, he was. So how did
DJ Santa Malicia's criminal enterprise come to an inglorious end?

(31:14):
Please tell me question, Elizabeth. Thankfully, his campaign of phony
airplane parts wasn't discovered due to some like fatal commercial
plane cash.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
Thank goodness.

Speaker 3 (31:22):
Instead, as it turns out, Zamora was undone by the
smallest thing possible. This fraud was not caught by some
eagle eyed plane inspector it was, nor was some wrench
turning airline mechanically. Wait, you just part ain't right, none
of that. It was a far more humbling way to
get caught. He was caught by paperwork.

Speaker 2 (31:39):
Oh I'm so hoping you would be like his own mama.

Speaker 3 (31:42):
No, that'd be great. But someone in Portugal contacted the
French half of the joint venture and they asked to
authenticate a part number. It was just one person doing
their due diligence because the number didn't latch, and someone
from the tap Air Portugal they reach out to Saffron
to authenticate this engine part and that they'd perch is
from Zamoras Shell Company and they just wanted to ensure

(32:03):
that it was airworthy. Thank goodness for everybody involved exactly.
So Saffron they checked their sales record, their parts manifest
and they're like, that is not one of ours. Where
did you say you purchased it?

Speaker 2 (32:14):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (32:15):
No, Now, realizing they were facing a major crisis the
parts of Saffron, the immediately contact the major airlines safety organization.
So this is like the FAA in the United States
is the US Aviation Safety Agency, the UK's civilian or
civil aviation authority. They all flag AOG Technics parts for
a safety alert through all the airlines, which then leads

(32:37):
to planes being grounded, like whole fleets of seven thirty
sevens and Airbus Yes planes being grounded. It costs the
various airlines fifty three million dollars in loss profits and
increased expenditures due to having to like bring in people
to fix and replace the parts, and they got to
go through all their engines and look for these things,
and then there's sixty thousand.

Speaker 2 (32:57):
We have to make that up for them and then
we pay.

Speaker 3 (33:00):
In the ticket price. So after a two year inquiry
by the UK Serious Fraud Office, not the Silly Fraud Office,
the Serious Fraud Office, the SFO arrested and charged Zamora
with fraudulent trading. That was the crime. Yeah, not like
endangering travelers. It was fraudulent trading anyway, as reported by

(33:20):
the airline industry outlet Aerospace Global News and I quote.
According to the charge sheet filed at the hearing at
Southwark Crown Court in London, he was charged with quote
falsifying documentation relating to the origin, provonauts, status and or
condition of aircraft parts between January twenty nineteen and December
twenty twenty three. In response to the charges, Zamora Urala

(33:43):
admitted at first instance to operating his company AOG Techniques
for fraudulent purposes as set out by the charges, impleaded
guilty as a result. I gotta say, I do love
the phrase admitted it first instance.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
Yes, it's like what.

Speaker 3 (33:57):
An elevated way to say homie cracked under pressure imdiately
and confessed all the crime he'd been doing for years now.
In his trial, Zamora was facing a maximum sentence of
ten years in prison. Finally, in February of this year,
twenty twenty six, Jose Alejandro aka DJ Senta Militia was

(34:17):
sentenced to four years and eight months in prison in
the UK. Good but what a run he had. Honestly,
you never expected Techno DJ to be secretly running a
cabal the phony airline party.

Speaker 2 (34:28):
No, no, you never did.

Speaker 3 (34:29):
Right, It's just further proved that facts will always be
fiction exactly because can you picture a single author who
had ever come up with that as a side hustle
for a DJ. No, Like, I'm gonna write this DJ character,
but I want to make him complex. Okay, let's take
another little break and after these message we will be
back with the most audacious plan. Yes, and we're back, Elizabeth.

(35:10):
Back you ready for another fun run? I? Yes, this
one is way more involved and it says so much
about what happens when people become self important academics.

Speaker 2 (35:20):
Oh no, yes, Zaron.

Speaker 3 (35:23):
Gets to poke at the academy. So a quick question, Elizabeth, Yeah,
have you ever heard of the International Society.

Speaker 2 (35:29):
Of Philology Philology.

Speaker 3 (35:32):
Yes, the word philology comes from ancient Greek philologia. It
means love of word. And as you know, I assume
philology is the study of language. Specifically, it's a criticism
of a text or a literary tradition, linguistic patterns inherent
in an oral or written record. So it really examines
the word different than like say alexographer lexicographer.

Speaker 2 (35:54):
And I think that the common thread of all these
people in that study is that they get high on
their own.

Speaker 3 (36:00):
Farts in practice of philologist studies, as I said, texts
to establish authenticity, to critique the meaning or the history
of some oral or written text. And they are academics
who stay focused on words and meaning.

Speaker 2 (36:15):
That's everything for them.

Speaker 3 (36:17):
And keep all that in mind as I tell you
this story, Elizabeth, it's time to meet our next crimer
of the day. His name is Florent monte Claire and
for most of his academic career, Moulticlaire was, according to
the Guardian of the UK quote an unremarkable teaching instructor
who liked to write fantasy books, many about vampires in
his spare time.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
Oh boy, you know what, God bless you, do you?

Speaker 3 (36:43):
It's not for me, yes, but he is, in your
words quirky, like if you met him at a dinner party.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
It's not you know what, so nice to meet you.
That's not for me.

Speaker 3 (36:54):
In twenty and fifteen, there was a news item in
his local newspaper that proclaimed that Multiclaire was set to
be feted for winning the quote the equivalent of a
Nobel Prize or Fields Medal.

Speaker 2 (37:06):
Oh okay, and yet no one has heard.

Speaker 3 (37:09):
Subsequently, early on in twenty sixteen, in February, the rumpled
and bespectacled Montclair was invited to a gala event to
accept the twenty fifteen Gold Medal of Philology from the
International Society of Philology. Yeah. The awards ceremony was held
at the French National Assembly. The attendees to the awards
ceremony included Nobel Prize winners. There were Ministers of Parliament

(37:31):
and government ministers. There were also other illustrious French scientists
and academics. It was quite the party.

Speaker 2 (37:36):
Was it a pot luck?

Speaker 3 (37:38):
Yes? They all had to bring their own Keyshe y, Multiclaire.

Speaker 2 (37:42):
But black tie of course, black type pot luck.

Speaker 3 (37:45):
My favorite, very French multi Claire arrives to accept his
award in an ill fitting suit, which was made more
garish by his rose colored dress shirt. The quote so
called unremarkable academic was the first Frenchman to receive this
illustrious medal, and apparently from what was told to that
year's attendees, a previous winner was the Italian writer and

(38:06):
academic Umberto Echo. Oh no way, okay, So you know,
monta Clair was joining distinguished company, and it's the first Frenchman.

Speaker 2 (38:13):
That's interesting because they're very into fold particular particular about
word I mean and all that.

Speaker 3 (38:20):
Yeah, yeah, and also preserving language. And so he'd finally
made it Elizabeth before that evening, all eyes are on
Florent Montclair. It was the honor of his academic lifetime.
The very next year, the winner of the Gold Medal
of Philology went to a truly famous academic and word
nerd Noam Chomsky. Oh eighty seven years old at the time.

(38:41):
He traveled to Paris to accept the prestigious award. He
was celebrated by an audience of two hundred luminaries, well wishers.
You can kind of get the picture. Yeah, you might say,
this was the high point in the history of this
particular academic award, or possibly giving it to Umberto Echo before.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
I would put with Echo. But yeah.

Speaker 3 (38:59):
Now, next year, twenty eighteen, a Romanian academic named Eugene
Simeon was designated the winner of this most honored prize
for word lovers. The eighty five year old academic was
the first Romanian to win the Gold Medal of Philology
from the International Society of Philology, and according to the
press release quote, the idea of creating a special prize

(39:21):
for a grammar or literature analysis, critics and scholars was
born in nineteen twenty seven when French philosopher Henri Bergson
received the Nobel Prize for Literature despite the fact he
was neither a poet nor a novelist. Thus, it was
decided that every five years the International Society of Philology
would award a Gold Medal of Philology and memory of
Alfred Nobel, modeled after the Fields Medal for Mathematics. Naturally,

(39:45):
now to see a Romanian win such a distinguished awards
set off this wave of pride for Romanians. They're all excited,
like we're up there with no Chomsky, Elmberto Eco whoever
that first jen was. Now then some Romanian journalists are like,
I've never heard of this society. They decide, well, we'll
do more than just quote from the press release. Let's
go check the website, see what else we can find,

(40:06):
who else is wanted in the past, and we can
add some extra laurels, you know, to our our boy
Eugene Simeon, and instead that they end up doing some
real investigating to see what this ward is all about.
As a journalist from the Romanian online news outlet Sina
nine wrote, and I quote for a prize that claims
to have such a long history and such select company

(40:28):
Nobel and fields the gold medal are sived by Chomsky
and Simeon is as obscure as they come. Google doesn't
know much about it either, So we contacted the Swedish
Nobel Foundation in order to find out if they have
anything to do with Simeon's prize. So, after these journalists
reach out to the folks from the Nobel Committee to
see what's up with this award from the international society Philology,

(40:50):
they heard back. The response was from this cat Michael Ostland,
communications pr officer with the Nobel Foundation. He was in
a word dismissive. Oastland replied that the Nobela Foundation is
in no way affiliated with the institutions you mentioned in
your email, so that was a strike that. Okay, hold on,

(41:13):
but you guys are I mean checked the website. So
the journalists they do more digging. They look into these
three organizations mentioned in the press release announcing the Romanian
recipient of the prize. There's the Center UNESCO de be,
the International Society of Philology, and the University of Philology.
So they start with.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
This whole University of Philology.

Speaker 3 (41:33):
Yeah, whole University of Philology. Yes, curious, So they start
with the Center Unesco de The website for the center
was a dead end. There's nothing here. We keep going,
we get four or fours. So the Romanian journalists reach
out to the United Nations to ask about UNITSCO, which
stands for United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization. Yes,

(41:54):
your guys, bit what's up? So Leticiakasi from the central
UNESCO headquarters in Paris. Response to their query. She replies
back to quote, the center is nothing lot of database.
It is not patron by UNESCO, nor is it the
secondary category. Center. UNESCO is in no way affiliated with
the International Society of Philology and has nothing to do

(42:15):
with the Golden Medal. So they're like, well, that's two strikes.
That's interesting. So these Romanian journalists they check the listed
addresses in Paris. They find that the indicated address in
bessem Quon doesn't seem to host any cultural center, only
a cozy family home enveloped in greenery. Oh that's three strikes.
But they're not baseball players, so well, just keep coming going.

(42:38):
Next they investigate the University of Philology and Education and
the International Society of Philology. They find, okay, this, we've
got to have some you know, real gravitas here. So
they find that the addresses for both are located in
a place called lowse which is a small town of
three thousand people in the state of Delaware in the
United States.

Speaker 2 (42:56):
They're like, that's curious, and Delaware Corporation.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
To keep that thought in mind. The reason for that
is because it was due to Delaware law that email
allows people to create firms and corporations even as a
non resident of the state, as Silicon Valley Bank, it
helpfully explains on its website. Right, Silicon Valley Bank more
than two thirds of Fortune five hundred companies and most

(43:20):
high growth technology startups are incorporated in Delaware. The Delaware
corporation is a business structure registered in Delaware, offering a
distinct legal and regulatory environment known for its flexibility and
advantageous court of Chancery. So this is also why and
I quote, Delaware is often the top choice for large
corporations and VC backed startups seeking investors or planning an

(43:44):
IPO thanks to its streamlined legal environment. Streamline you know, Elizabeth,
I once started a Delaware corporation with friends. Oh yes,
one percent did, and we eventually merged it with a
Korean company. It was like a real deal thing, and
we did it for all the reasons as twenty year olds.
We knew that's that's like, how do you want to
get around the law start a Delaware corporation?

Speaker 2 (44:05):
I would imagine it's just like a po box.

Speaker 3 (44:08):
Yes, essentially, yeah, exactly, it is. That's now that has
become common. But this was, you know, for decades, the
way to make it look like you were a respectful thing,
when actually you're just trying to dodge corporate oversight. Sure,
so at this point it's also now the top choice
for scammers looking for a patina of respectability. Right, So
the Romanian journalists are like, okay, this is getting like

(44:31):
mad hanky. So they get this point poll on Elizabeth.
They go for a drive in the old Google street View. Yes,
they find the addresses listed on the University of Philology's
Facebook page, and they go and they check them out.
They drive past them and they're like Google car and
they find they do not match what they found on
Google street View, like the pictures on Facebook website and
the pictures we found driving around.

Speaker 2 (44:53):
Well, and the university is only on Facebook. They don't
have their.

Speaker 3 (44:56):
Own Oh yeah right. So when these Romanian journalists reverse
image search the photo, they find that the university's Facebook
page photos are actually an apartment building in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
And for images of the university's classrooms also shown on
the university's Facebook page, those images were pulled from British

(45:17):
Columbia University in Canada.

Speaker 2 (45:19):
Oh my goodness.

Speaker 3 (45:20):
So they're like, okay, they have a story on their hands.
They're like, yeah, we have got something. So they keep digging.
They're like, let's see how much more we can get.
They revisit the website of the International Society Philology, and
there they discover a collection of spelling errors, grammatical errors,
the kind that would make most philologists tear their hair out.

Speaker 4 (45:38):
So they're like, okay, we love words werds.

Speaker 3 (45:43):
It's like, oh many as a journalist, can you imagine finding.

Speaker 2 (45:46):
All this motherless?

Speaker 3 (45:48):
Yeah, it's just high fives everywhere along. So next they
discover a list of past recipients of the war dating
back to nineteen thirty one. Coincidentally, there are only four
living recipients of the award. There was Dom Chomsky, there
was a Swedish linguist named Gorn Malbkvist. There was the
latest winner, the Romanian linguist Eugene Simeon, and then there

(46:10):
was the Frenchman Florent monte Claire, who was listed as
the quote honorary chairman of the International Society of Philology. Yeah,
so the Romanian journalists do some more digging. They investigate
Noam Chomsky's reception and they find a minor scandal had
gone down in Paris that year. Apparently the professor Embertus
of Linguistics at MIT was indeed invited to Paris to

(46:31):
receive the Gold Medal Philology. But then the French National
Assembly rescinded the offer to hold the reception an awards
ceremony due to some statements Noam Chomsky had made in
support of Asama bin Laden. Oh that's not gonna fly here.
We have way too many politicians. It's to be pictured
with you. So the honorary chairman of the National Society

(46:51):
Philology aka Florent mont Claire, he writes a letter to
the French Academy Journal Philosophy, and he decries this the
rejection of Noam Chomsky. It's an embarrassment for France, and
he asked for assistance from his fellow academics to find
a new location for the awards ceremony to honor the
great Chomsky. The gambit works perfectly. Subsequently, one of the
editors in chief of Philosophy steps in provides assistance. A

(47:15):
replacement venue is found. The awards ceremony is held at
the Center Willonni Bruks in Paris on November thirtieth, and
there's a photo of Chomsky standing there on stage with
Montclair as Chomsky holds up his gold medal. Okay, but
the Romanian journalists also discovered that on a website for
the International Society of Philology. The previous, more prestigious location

(47:37):
is still mentioned as the location of the ceremony, the
National Assembly. Montclair claims that he gave Chompsky the gold
medal and I quote at the French National Library in
front of the National Center for Scientific Research. None of
that is true, so they're bsing on the website even
though they did.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
Get Chompsky there there.

Speaker 3 (47:55):
So these plucky Romanian journalists they reach out via email
to the then ninety year old Chomsky. They're like, let's
fact check this, and Chomsky writes back. He gets back
promptly to them and I quote, I know very little
about the organization. They invited me to Paris for several talks.
I don't really recall much about the individuals involved or
the organization. I give a great mini talks organized by

(48:18):
all sorts.

Speaker 2 (48:18):
Of groups, free trip.

Speaker 3 (48:20):
It's like I'm constantly talking. I don't know where. And so,
when Schomsky's asked about his memories of receiving the award,
Schomsky replies that he has no memory of quote ever
being handed the Nobel Prize for Philology, but there is
a picture of it, So in this case he's wrong.
This part wasn't a lie, but I think they're calling it.
The Nobel Prize for Philology is what threw him anyway,

(48:42):
I think. So after this, the Romanian journalists do even
more digging and they discover that quote. No major international
publication ever mentioned such ceremonies having taken place. No credible
source in the field includes as little as a single
word on this mysterious society, the American University that allegedly
hosts it, or flor At the Monte Claire, whose name
is associated with all these institutions. However, Chompsky's name seems

(49:05):
to have worked like a magic spell which dulled everyone's
critical thinking. So news start to news story kept repeating
Chomsky wins this prestigious award from the Society of Philology,
blah blah blah, and so all these newspapers keep repeating
the same thing that if you do a quick Google search,
this is what pops up.

Speaker 2 (49:22):
Right.

Speaker 3 (49:22):
It was working perfectly truth online, which is a tad
ironic that in terms of philology, which is the critique
of text, nobody was critiquing the text except for these
Romanians from Sena nine. So shout out to them. Journalism
coming through it. So these same Romanian journalists, they also
discover that all the websites associated with the University of
Philology and Education and the International Society Philology quote existed

(49:45):
solely through websites created and hosted in France. Yeah, so
the university is located in Delaware, the websites are all
listed in France. Like, we're so close, We're so close.
So after their exhaustive investigation, the Romanian journal it's determined
that all their roads of inquiry eventually lead back to
the same source, Florent monte Claire. From what they can decipher,

(50:08):
this shy retiring academic monte Claire aka the honorary Chairman
of the International Society of Philology. He lives in Montpelliard,
which is a small town with a modest population of
twenty seven thousand people, located in eastern France. It's like
in the region of France Compte, if that means anything
to you. So there he teaches at this university. It's

(50:28):
a branch of the fran Compte University, and he also
is listed as a professor employed at the Marie and
Louis Pasteur University in Besontent. So as such, he claims
to hold two PhDs. One is for his study and
analysis of the works of Jules Verne. The other PhD
is focused on quote Gypsies in French literature, and it
was it was quote allegedly awarded by the fictional university

(50:52):
in Lews. Not only that, wow, yes, the Romanian journalists
learned that quote. The Frenchman is also the one who
sent Eugene Sime and his award letter, as well as
the sole actual person in an ocean of false identities
to provide all the details on the background of this
award and the International Society of Philology. Now they've got it.

(51:13):
Wait a minute, Wait a minute, wait, he says one
of his PhDs came from his made up university, so
now they're on it. So as for Montclair receiving the
Nobel Bride of Philology, as Noam Chomsky called it, he
claimed that he attended an award ceremony in New York
in twenty fifteen, not in Paris, which is interesting because
in a French newspaper published in December twenty fifteen, Montclair
said that quote the award ceremony was postponed because of

(51:35):
recent terrorist attacks and rescheduled for February twenty sixteen at
UNESCO headquarters in Paris, the very same headquarters that disavowed
knowing him at all. So at this point the same
news story from the French newspaper Monteclair said, and I
quote this award shows that even professors at very small
universities can be of interest for the whole world. Yes, indeed, professor, indeed,

(51:58):
and just you wait, brother, because interest from the whole
world is coming.

Speaker 2 (52:01):
Oh no.

Speaker 3 (52:03):
When the Romanian journalists published their article, they go with
the ketchy and provocative headline the fake Nobel Prize that
duped the Romanian Academy. They take shots at everybody. Good
for you, guys. So since their story is published in
Romania and in Romanian, it does not create a major
stir in France. In fact, nothing really comes of it
for seven years.

Speaker 2 (52:23):
Seven years.

Speaker 3 (52:24):
Meanwhile, monta Claire's ambitions leave this trail of lies that
lead right back to him. For instance, in twenty seventeen,
he added to his resume that he'd co authored a
paper with Noam Chomsky with the title the Galileeo Challenge,
A New Aspect of the Study of Language. Now, if
you check the academic record, and you check that title.
There is indeed a paper with that title, and it
was published singularly by Noam Chomsky.

Speaker 2 (52:46):
So he just tacked his name on.

Speaker 3 (52:49):
And dis wrote it in French so nobody would notice. Wow.
So yeah, and then he eventually gave a ted X
talk about the subject stop once again in French, so
nobody would notice.

Speaker 2 (52:59):
You know what, it's not for me.

Speaker 3 (53:01):
He also claimed to give a conference talk at Harvard.
His talk carried the title Gypsies in French Serial novel. Now,
when the university was asked about this talk by the
Romanian journalists, Harvard could find no record of such a
conference or talk given by Montclair, just another long line
of his lies. So in the meantime, the next year,
in twenty eighteen, Montclair applied to the French Ministry of

(53:22):
Higher Education asking for a promotion. He indicated his second
PhD from the University of Philology as evidence he was
due greater acclaim in the world of French academia and
also a commensurate pay raise.

Speaker 2 (53:35):
Yeah, he's right, so though this.

Speaker 3 (53:36):
Would ultimately be his undoing flash forward April twenty twenty
six this year, Yeah, the long lost article from Sena
nine by the Romanian journalist. It becomes the spark for
an investigation into Monteclair by French authorities and a public
prosecutor bought Eddi Lalu, who works in Montepelliard in eastern France.
He takes up this case. He and a team of detectives.

(53:59):
They began to investigate Montclair and his academic bona fides,
and as The Guardian reports, their investigation focuses on quote
whether Montclair, employed at Marie and Louis Pastora University in
besancon used the fake metal and a doctorate from the
University of Philology and Education in the US to obtain
a promotion and pay raise. That's what leads to a

(54:21):
visit to meet the mysterio academic at the heart of
this academic scandal. But rather than me tell you about
that little visit, Elizabeth, Yes, I want you to close
your eyes as I wants you to picture it. It's
a charming Monday morning of February and you are in
a car. From your open window, you note that the

(54:43):
air is crisp, the skies overhead are blue as a
robin's belly, The sweet aroma of a bakery filters into
your consciousness with a sort of urgency you typically expect
from a foul smell. But there is no stink here,
just the overpowering fragrance of fresh baked baguettes morning pastries.
In short, it's a beautiful morning in France, as you, Elizabeth,

(55:04):
noticed this all from where you were seated in the
passenger seat of a French police car. The sound of
the siren is the only indication that you are at work,
because you are a veteran French policewoman, one who's accompanying
a squadron of your fellow police officers, as well as
the French public prosecutor, Paul Edouard la Lois. Within a
short time, you all arrive at your target, a quiet

(55:27):
residence belonging to a rather unassuming French professor. Car doors
open and slams shut. You and the team of officers
and a prosecutor approach the front door, unsure what to expect.
Your squad commander knocks on the brightly painted blue front door,
and you all wait until finally you hear from the
other side of the door some rustling and then the
twist of a door lock. Then the door swings open.

(55:49):
With a slow creak. Standing in the doorway is the rumpled,
bespectacled Professor Montclair. He looks surprised to see all the police,
but you notice he doesn't look as prized as you
might expect. It's as if he knew this day was coming.
The public prosecutor steps forward and shows him a search warrant.
He says, in a friendly tone, Monsieur montre Claire, do

(56:10):
you know why we are here? The professor clearly does.
He takes a silent beat. This pregnant pause heightens the drama,
and then he says, with a wry smile, it's about
the medal. I suppose the professor confirms his suspected criminal offenses.
As you stand there a bit surprised how low key
this professor is about the squad of police officers on

(56:31):
the doorstep, he confesses to his crimes. He admits that
he visited a jeweler in Paris, and that he asked
the jeweler to make the initial gold medal of Philology,
and he says it cost him two hundred and fifty pounds.
Then he presented it to himself in that Nobel Laureate
attended award ceremony. The Professor's also quick to admit that
not only did he order the medal award it to

(56:52):
himself and later to Nomchowski, he also single handedly created
the Daisy chain of websites for the International Society of
la and the related University of Philology and Education. You
start to wonder when he'll stop confessing to crimes. As
a professor stands there in his front porch confessing. The professor,
in a very French way, finishes speaking as he concludes

(57:12):
that what he did was obviously not illegal. You think
yourself bonschance with that, professor? I doubt the courts will agree.
The smug smile of the rumpled professor certainly falls and
falls hard once the handcuffs are slapped on his wrists
and he's led away to face justice. So there you go, Elizabeth. Wait,
the moment has finally come.

Speaker 2 (57:32):
That has he broken a he lose?

Speaker 3 (57:34):
That's a good question, so, Elizabeth, Professor Moulticlaier is well
constructed and well maintained academic lie does go pop, And
you don't know, you do have to love that he
claims that what he's done is no problem at all,
because you know, he's like, oh, It all depends on
what one means when one says forgery or what you
mean when you say the word lie. He basically goes like,

(57:54):
you know, full on President Bill Clinton. He's like, he says,
his guilt depends on what the desfinition is.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
But he's just lying. He's not you know there, what's
his I guess his gain is trying to get a raise.

Speaker 3 (58:06):
Well, that's it. His case comes down to the question
of the gold medal that Monteclaire gave himself and then
later awarded nom Chomsky. That's like the headline grabbing part.
But technically that wasn't a forgery. You're right about it was.
It was a phony award. It's not illegal to have
phony awards.

Speaker 2 (58:21):
Yeah, I mean, we have awards shows here every now
and then.

Speaker 3 (58:26):
So, as a French prosecutor, Laois told The Guardian, in
his view, the medal is not a forgery. A forgery
implies that there is a genuine medal. As the genuine
philology metal does not exist, his medal cannot be a forgery.
He isn't good legal standing there, Yeah, you know, that
is the power of words to define the reality. However,
if you ask the Prosecutor Laois. He also has a

(58:48):
different opinion about what it means that is a crime, because,
for instance, as he puts it, anyone can create the
medal you can order online the best journalists in France
medal in gold is silver bronze, awarded to yourself. And
hold your own little ceremony quietly at home over drinks.
If you stay at home with your little medals on
top of your mental piece, there are no legal consequences. If,

(59:11):
on the other hand, you mentioned it to your employer,
if you mention it to this media, and if all
this leads to a certain amount of professional recognition, then
it has a concrete implications. And that is well, the
notion of fraud can begin to arise, and it does
because Professor Multiplayer had screwed himself giving himself a fake

(59:33):
awards one thing, but the real recognition he derived from it,
the real promotion he finagled, and the very real pay
raise received, that is all, no matter how you cut it.
Exactly so, as Prosecutor Lawatta the Guardian, this whole scheme
allowed him to gain academic standing that he would not
have had it had it not been for the creation

(59:54):
and media coverage of this medal and been back to
writing his fantasy vampire books, and nobody would have been
the wise. So as a result of this legal scandal,
Multiplayer was suspended from the university where he works. Naturally,
he plans to appeal that suspension because this case is ongoing.
His lawyer, Jean Baptiste Uvaud, has argued that the creating
a fake academic society and giving yourself a fake international

(01:00:16):
gold medal is quote not the criminal offense which nobody
is arguing. In a very French way, his lawyer also
told the French newspaper Lamont that the people are saying
that ten years ago everyone fell for a monstrous hoax.
But everyone has the right to be imaginative. It's up
to the person you're talking to whether they believe it
or not. So in other words, he's kind of saying that,

(01:00:37):
you know, if you fell for it, it is I
believe your fault. Once again, the plan was excellent, but
the realization of the plan ridiculously criminal. So Elizabeth, what
is our ridiculous takeaway here?

Speaker 2 (01:00:50):
Oh? Man, I just don't be your own worst enemy.
And I don't know how you do that, but just
don't do it well. I don't do it, bro.

Speaker 3 (01:00:58):
I think like putting on airs, he does it, and
then trying to get a raise something you made up
would probably do it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
Well, these are not None of these were adequately planned. No,
they were planned, but not adequately, not intelligently.

Speaker 3 (01:01:13):
Not to get away with them, passion.

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
They all just they tricked people. Initial.

Speaker 3 (01:01:20):
Yeah, they got away with it for weeks at a time, months, years,
and every single time they're like, oh wait, I have
to completely get away with it, and then no one
ever ever finds out. It can't just be that like,
look I get I got what I wanted. Like he
gets the closest, the last one gets the closest. I mean,
I guess you could argue that DJ Santa Militia he
also got pretty close pulling pulling nine million dollars out

(01:01:42):
of the airlines.

Speaker 2 (01:01:43):
So what's your takeaway?

Speaker 3 (01:01:44):
My thank you for asking, Elizabeth is I just love
that this last one took place in France. It made
it so much richer because everybody took it so seriously,
because like anything I was reading, like le mom that
was like this is a crime. This is not the crime,
is it? What does it mean? Being so friends about
a fake gold medal. Who cares? Oh that was mine?

(01:02:08):
You moved for a talkback?

Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
Certain I certainly am.

Speaker 3 (01:02:15):
Oh, oh my god, did you ill?

Speaker 6 (01:02:27):
His question is for Saron and Elizabeth. I was listening
to the newest podcast episode I'm going to Steal Your
Birth Strange World of Pigeons, and at the beginning, you
guys are talking about the world come and all the
countries you guys are writing for. I was just curious
that you guys are for the USA as well.

Speaker 2 (01:02:44):
You didn't mention it, of course. Yeah, it's like the default, right.

Speaker 3 (01:02:49):
I mean, I'm going to root for America to get
as far as we can. I don't think America is
gonna win it, and I'll be surprised if they do.
But like, I'm actually rooting for other teams to get
all the way to the end and win it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:58):
Well, And you and I were talking of it has
you know, we joke around about like oh what my
you know, ethnic makeup is, but we have each of
us has like a very particular style of play that
we like, and so like watching the US play Australia,
they were so similar and it's very hard charging and
like big booths. Yeah, and so that you know, it

(01:03:20):
doesn't appeal to me as much as like the French
play does. And so that's kind of where we get
a lot of our motivations for who we root for.
But like, how great would it be to see the
USA go all the way? Will they know it's unlikely,
But we don't also have those like a century of
football culture with that here. Now we're still building. We're

(01:03:42):
still building a.

Speaker 3 (01:03:43):
Samurai Blue of Japan. We are rather new, to.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
Be exactly exactly, and we have to get over the
fact that we have Alexi Lawless. Yeah, we around looking
like he's in the spin doctors being a fool.

Speaker 3 (01:03:56):
Yeah. We're on like thirty years deep into this experiment,
exactly years.

Speaker 2 (01:04:00):
And it's like, you know, we're building it and building it.
But then like you can't take the US team and
put them up against the French, like.

Speaker 3 (01:04:07):
No, or even most of the Global South.

Speaker 2 (01:04:09):
Or Argentina my god, Yeah, I'm.

Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
Talking even Cameroon or Senegal or some of the teams.

Speaker 2 (01:04:15):
Read of course, by default, of course we root for
the US. Yeah, and I'd love to see him get
as far as possible. That'd be awesome.

Speaker 3 (01:04:23):
And I've always been very impressed with the US women's
national team. They have won the World Cup.

Speaker 2 (01:04:28):
They're ahead. Yeah, they're definitely ahead in terms of like
levels of culture.

Speaker 3 (01:04:33):
And I fed them for decades because my sister was
big into soccer. She went very far with soccer. So
I watched a lot of women's soccer and I really
really enjoy watching the There's some really.

Speaker 2 (01:04:42):
Good players on the US men's team right now.

Speaker 3 (01:04:45):
Yeah, this team, for sure, it's a legit team, and
a lot of the Mannalists think that they could go
all the way. I mean many of them are Americans,
but they're saying it out loud, which you've never said
before in the world count.

Speaker 2 (01:04:55):
Yeah, yeah, it'll be really interesting whatever it is. I
just love watching many rooting for the drama. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:05:02):
So there you go. Thank you for the talkback. We
always appreciate those. So please go to the iHeart app
download it, leave us a talkback. We'd love to hear
your voice here. Maybe you'd like to hear your voice here,
so do it, you know, and if you don't want
to do that, you can always go to our email
send us an email. We love those as well. It's
ridiculous crime at gmail dot com. We also have our

(01:05:23):
website Ridiculous Crime dot com and you can go there
and uh, you know, connect, get some merch. There's all
sorts of fun gifts and stuff to check out. And
I think that's pretty much. Oh, we have the Ridiculous
Crime Pod on YouTube, but that is going away for
a bit. We'll see, don hiatus. We don't know what
the deal is there. Yeah, so keep your eye out

(01:05:45):
and we'll keep you updated. So there you go. As always,
thank you for listening, and we will catch you next crime.
Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Utton and Zaron Burnette,
produced an edited by DJ Santa Con aka Dave Houston.
Our ridiculous assistant is our assistant professor of criminal Philology,
Terry Maldonado. Fall research is by Our Ridiculous Crime. Airlines

(01:06:08):
Safety Commission aka Marissa Brown. Our theme song is by
DJ Flight Delay and their frequent flyer Miles aka Thomas
Lee and Travis Dutney. The host wardrobe provided by Botany
five hundred. Producer Dave's wardrobe provided by Mister Guy of
Beverly Hills. Guest Haron Makup by Sparkleshop and mister Andre.
Executive producers are Ben who hasn't tried to break into

(01:06:28):
a Ukrainian prison bowling. No, Sometimes I can't tell if
you're kidding.

Speaker 5 (01:06:33):
Brown Red, Why say it one more times? Crime?

Speaker 1 (01:06:46):
Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio four more podcasts.
My heart Radio visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you listen to your favorite shows.