Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
This is Rachel Go's Rogue. Welcome back to Rachel Go's Rogue.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
This is your host, Rachel Savannah Levis, and I am
answering a few questions that my producers have prepared for me.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Yeah, let's get right into it.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
All right, So let's just talk about the elephant in
the room. Let's just start with how it makes you
feel when you hear things like, oh, it's so funny.
Rachel wanted to leave this all behind, But does she
still wants to do the podcast or well, now the
show's over, what does she have left to talk about?
And people speculating that the podcast is coming to an end,
(00:45):
what do you have to say to that.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I am just so proud that I have created this
podcast with the help of my producers, and it was
a big decison to speak out on my experience and
to defend myself. And it's also a relief that I
(01:10):
don't need to be on the defense any longer. I
feel like a weight has been lifted off and I'm
now able to take this podcast in the direction that
I see it going, which is focusing on mental health
and keeping these conversations going about the things that are
(01:33):
important in my life. Integrating that into my new world
that I'm creating for myself, and the feedback that I've
gotten from you guys in person is just so heartwarming
and encouraging for me to keep going with the podcast.
You guys in person, have told me that it has
(01:55):
really helped you through some moments and helped you you
have a new perspective on different situations and especially those
that don't have access to mental health care, and that
is the part that is so rewarding to me. So
it's been about six months since we started this podcast,
(02:21):
and I feel like I have achieved all of the
goals that I set out to achieve with this podcast.
When I first initially started, I wanted to represent myself
in the way that I felt like was true to
who I am. I wanted to be able to have
a voice and to be able to share my experience
(02:43):
and my story in a way that was accurate and.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
In a way that I could.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Speak freely and safely. And I wanted to help other
people along the way. And I feel like I really
have been able to accomplish those things. Now I could
see the next six months excelling to the next point
where we are continuing these discussions and I'm able to
(03:13):
continue to make a positive impact on other people's lives.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
So could you sort of clarify what people can expect
moving forward, because I think, you know, people might be
saying to themselves, Oh, is she going to talk about
vander Pump Rules to death? But I don't really think
and you correct me if I'm wrong. I think it's
really more about you using your experience on vander Pump
Rules to help bring people along the journey to understand
(03:41):
what you went through, where you grow from there different
ways that can help you. Can you elaborate on that.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yeah, So vander Pump isn't on the air for the
time being, and vander Pump isn't my soul identity. It's
not something that I care to take with me for
the rest of my life. I would love to build
out my life and use that as an experience to
(04:08):
inspire something even bigger and better.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
And I feel like.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
With the show not being on the air every week,
we can all kind of take a break from that
toxic noise. But my journey continues and I've had such
great fans support and what you guys can expect if
you keep tuning in is sharing my journey. I'll be
(04:38):
bringing on guests and therapists, will be discussing topics like
mental health, public shaming, surviving a scandal that all stems
from my experience on vander pump Roles. So yes, I
will continue to talk about my experience and only because
(05:02):
it is my lived experience, and that is how I'm
able to connect with the topics that are important to
me to talk about.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Kind of funny that you say that. So the show
is off the air, which everybody thought, Oh, maybe they're
gonna get a little less noisy of you know, get
a breather. The news this week, the topics, the fighting,
the bickering, the headlines, it's been It's been a crazy week.
Victoria and Billy are fighting, Kyle and Billy are fighting,
(05:35):
Schwartz and Joe are fighting. Kyle Chan is Tom's best friend,
Victoria is his new girlfriend. Billy was on vandapunt rules
was one of I think would be a best friend
or a close friend. And now they're all feuding, they're
unfollowing each other, they're making accusations, and all these headlines.
They're doing it live their lives. So it's not that
(05:56):
I'm just reading these headlines, I'm seeing it from their
mouths as they're making all these crazy accusations about Tom's
good friend Kyle, and then Billy is accusing Victoria sort
of pulling Tom back into a bad way of life.
So I guess the question is, Wow, how personally, how
(06:17):
does it feel to not be in that headline?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I mean, I've said this before and I'll say it again.
The further way get from all of this chaos the
clear I can see how chaotic it truly is and how.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
I don't know like it.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
It's a lower level vibration type of interactions that happened
on the internet, and the feuds between different people and
the drama and you know, like people turning against one another.
I did see a clip from Up and Autumn and
he was interviewing Kyle Chan and Victoria, and Victoria was
(06:59):
talking about how when she got involved with Tom, she
was not expecting this experience and it was not enjoyable
for the most part.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
There was a lot happening every single day.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
It's interesting because it's not even on the television, right,
it just shows off. So all this drama is and
folding online. I mean, you went through that too.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yes, it is interesting that all of this drama is
online and not on the show, like Victoria is not
even a cast member on the show. But that's the
thing too, because she probably feels like she's been misrepresented
in ways and she feels the need to defend herself
and speak out about her experience. And that's because of
(07:50):
all the misinformation or what have you, all the rumors
online and it's not a healthy.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Way to live your life.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
With all the drama and all the trauma happening and
the need to defend yourself. You're you're living in a
very animalistic mindset where it's impossible to expand your consciousness
and to be on a higher vibration for a lack
(08:19):
of a better description, it's so important to protect your
piece so that you can be like a functional adult.
I have no desire to get back into that world.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
No, And you know what else I think is interesting
on that is the stuff that they could have used
for the show, Like the show still this entire season
was centered around around Scannibal and the results in the fallout,
and now you've got all this drama unfolding on social media,
Like do you think they sort of strung out Scannibal
(08:50):
too long this season? Do you how do you see that?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yeah? I do feel like Scannival has been dragged out
for far too long. I will just say that it
makes sense from a producer's standpoint, I guess to cover
the entire season of Scanabal because in real time, when
this is all happening, that's all that anyone could ever
talk about.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
So I think the reason why it.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Seems drum out is because there's a little bit of
a time warp and a it's a delayed reaction. I
think maybe it would have been best for them to
like not pick up cameras right away because it was
(09:39):
so fresh, But they're also trying to capture all the
drama in real time and this was like a gold
mine to them.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
So sure, it's a good point. So your old producer
I just won't name, came out actually against Gina chet
I'm not sure if he saw Sheena say that producers
(10:07):
interfered with the season and said, if you can't work
this out, we may have to cancel the show. What
do you believe there? And can you speak to how
producers inserted themselves into your situation?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Yeah, I'll say this, so, yes, there was it come
tojes this moment supposedly, And I do remember when Tom
was still trying to reach out to me, he told
my publicist. Because he was only in contact with my publicist,
I had his number block and I wasn't replying to
his emails. But he told my publicist that they brought
(10:46):
everyone into the green room and that they were pretty
much saying, like, there's going to be a shift. We
don't want to talk about this anymore, and Rachel's not
coming back, so we need you guys to create other
drama essentially, and like move on from the scandabal because
(11:07):
it's been drug out too far.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Right, So you posted something you at your festival and
you I think you wrote that somebody called you rocky,
and even No Filter Zach quoted you and embraced it, saying,
I think he called you rocky, rocky, bang bang right,
and he praised you for leaning into it and having
some fun about it. Can you explain the name situation
(11:32):
all the time, the many names?
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yes, So it's just funny and cute to me. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
So when I was at the festival, I met some
cool people and they all they all had interesting names,
and I met a new friend.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
His name was Arise. I had my hat on and
I was.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Like pooh, pooh, And then we exchanged phone numbers and
I put my contact in his phone as Rocky Rocky
Bang Bang, and it's like, you can call me Rocky.
And I just feel like my given name is Rachel.
I changed my name back to Rachel or return to
my given name, as a way to reconnect with my
(12:20):
true self. And the name Raquel came out of a
place where I felt like I wasn't worthy and I
wanted to be something that I wasn't. So it came
out of a place of insecurity and I was trying
to overcome a lot of social anxiety and trying to
(12:42):
conform myself into who I thought other people wanted me
to be. And so coming back to my given name
is a way for me to honor myself, and referring
to myself as Raquel is a way to acknowledge that
part of me that really wanted to belong.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
And as I'm making.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
New friends that are incredible people, and I truly believe
the people that you surround yourself with, you become more alike.
So I am making it an effort to surround myself
with people that I want to be more like. And
(13:29):
I'm just meeting the most incredible people that want to
see the world be a better place and are actively
working to make a difference in other people's lives, and
they have so much joy and passion to share. I've
been introducing myself as Rocky to my new friends because
(13:49):
it's a cute nickname. I also went by Rocky when
I did volleyball, as like a cute sporting name. So
it's a nickname, and I don't think it needs to
be anything crazy, you know, like you can say whatever
you want about me. I like nicknames, and I like
(14:12):
connecting to the different parts within me. And it doesn't
mean I have a whole new identity or anything. It's
just means that I'm an integrated human being.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
I like it. My daughter has like four nick names too.
It's the name I want to read something and then
I want to ask you about it. So Anne Tom's
former assistant from VPR, was asked if she's listening to
your podcast, Rachel Goes Rope, and she said, I am
part curiosity, part trying to figure out my own feelings,
(14:47):
and part really interested in her journey through therapy. As
someone who does a lot of therapy, I think it's
helpful to hold space give people the benefit of the
doubt when they're trying to do better, not for anyone
else but themselves. The hope is that we can all
evolve into better humans. But also I think it's very
important to hold space for the people who were hurt
victimized by situations like this and allow them to do
(15:08):
what they need to do to feel safe. How does
that make you feel?
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Wow? Thanks Anne?
Speaker 2 (15:16):
No, that feels really nice and heartwarming. And yeah, that
feels good because I am truly trying to be a
better person and make better decisions for myself and do
that in a way that's safe for me. And I
feel acknowledged and respected. And I hope Anne is doing well.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
And I know.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
It's been like a face a year for her, but like,
I think it's awesome that she started her own podcast.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
It's called We Signed an Nda.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Have you listened to it? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
I have. I have.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
It's about like the assistance perspective on the entertainment y chaos,
and it's very creative and cute and funny and so yeah,
I m as support of her podcast as well.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Yeah, I think she's clever. They're they're citing her as
a kind of breakout from the from the show, So
I find that interesting. Something else she recently just said
that was quite interesting. Can you speak to that?
Speaker 2 (16:19):
So Anne and her co host Amanda went onto Your
Bish Therapists podcast, And I've had Melissa on my podcast before,
and I do love tuning into her perspective on pop
culture from a therapist's point of view. And I did
get a chance to listen to this, and Amanda had
(16:43):
an interesting point, saying something along the lines of we're
going to look back at this time with unscripted TV
and think of it as like children working in coal mines, essentially,
something along those lines, like saying how past members don't
(17:07):
have the resources that they need as humans, pretty much saying.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
That it's unethical. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
I thought that was nice to hear, because I think
we can all agree to a certain extent, like it's
not that far fetched of a concept. I think we've
all kind of seen how people have been affected by
being on shows like vander Pump Rules and that you know,
(17:38):
there really needs to be more support in that area.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
What do you think about people saying she is a breakap.
So now you know, she seems to be quite open minded,
quite funny, and now she you know, her story was
coming between Tom and Aria on a storyline, and now
she's kind of breaking out. What do you think about that?
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Good for her?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
I think that's awesome. I think she's she's really taken
an opportunity and is able to spread joy and the
way that she feels accomplished and doing creating her own
podcast and having a little comedic twist to it, and
(18:18):
I think that must be very rewarding for her.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
All right, Rachel, So I want to ask you. There
was a lot of people in comments and just chatter
saying you're wondering why you hadn't addressed Arianna's comments about
you that she made in the reunion, which was something
to this effect, and this bitch has to at being
talk about me all the time. How does that make
you feel or how would you respond to that?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
The reason why I didn't address it during the podcast
episode is because exactly that I don't need to talk
about Arianna anymore than I deem necessary to get my
point across. And unfortunately, yes, Ariana's name has come out
of my mouth and it is not to bash her
(19:17):
in any way. It's to provide context to my experience
and the story that I'm sharing with you guys as
a person who was in my life.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
So that is that.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
And then, you know, like her saying that about me,
it made me think, well, yeah, it sucks having the
show talk about me every single week, and not only
talk about me, but to completely defame me and to
push a narrative that is not accurate. So I get it.
(19:52):
I understand her pain when it comes to me saying
her name on my podcast, and I'm sure it's infuriat
and frustrating. I just think that I've done it in
a way that is ultimately respectful to her. And I
don't plan on continuing to talk about her anymore because
(20:15):
she is not a part of my life.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
More so, I'm not sure if you heard or not,
or you're aware or not, but Tom Sandible is going
to be in the upcoming season of The Traders. Will
you be watching that?
Speaker 1 (20:28):
No way?
Speaker 2 (20:30):
I know.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
I think you might have to tune in to watch that.
I don't know why I did.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
I mean, I watched a Special Forces I did get
asked to be on that, and Tom was trying to
convince me to go on Special Forces with him.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
I'm like, are you kidding me?
Speaker 2 (20:43):
I'm going to get out of this impatient treatment facility
and go straight into like a horrible traumatic situation where
they're all yelling at me and telling me that I'm
piece of s and all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
No, No, that's like the opposite of what I want. Anyway.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah, I did watch that, and I did kind of
have like a little bit of joy seeing him go
through painful experiences.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
I may have to tune in for Traders.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
I have been watching last season's Traders and it's very
the dynamic is interesting. I don't know many of the
people on the cast, but I may have to tune
in for this because I feel like he's he is
a master manipulator and it would be very interesting to
see his tactics in a situation where it's encouraged to
(21:39):
be manipulative.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
So psychological warfare, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Like more of a site. Put on your psychology cap
for this one, because it sounds very entertaining.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
I'd have to agree with you. He'll probably be pretty
good at that. Okay, let's see when other way, So, Rachel,
did you see the promo of Lisa Vanderpump on Call
Her Daddy, where she uses a clip of your voice
and that sort of infamous Rose Hope on the Balcony quote.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Yes, I did, and I thought it was very funny
and clever, and it also made me think back to
that time when I recorded that. And yeah, in the moment,
I was very confused by Lisa's comment, but in my
interview chair, I do remember a producer suggesting that I say, oh,
(22:32):
does everyone know that Pope drinks rose on the balcony?
And I went with it because I thought it was
kind of funny and yeah, it like played into this
stereotype of being like this dumb girl, but also like
I didn't know myself well enough to provide other forms
(22:55):
of entertainment at that time, because I also not somebody
who's very confrontational and I don't like conflict. So if
I'm able to provide entertainment in the form of being
silly and a little bit like Karen from Mean Girls,
(23:16):
then that's how I'm going to do it.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
Yeah, hindsight's twenty twenty, right, If you only knew then
what you know now.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Yeah, And the only way I know what I know
now is what I went through.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
You're at a new phase in your life in every
sense of the word. Are you going to be open
on this podcast to sharing and discussing your future dating life.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
You'll have to wait and see. Okay, it's interesting.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Getting back into the dating world and having these new experiences,
and it's still very early, but what I'm experiencing will
help form different types of questions to ask different dating
therapists or dating coaches or people that are experienced in
(24:05):
knowledge in that world.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Because it is interesting.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Having these new experiences and it's kind of fun, and
I would like to share some of that, but I don't,
you know, like I would like to keep my dating
life private. And eventually, when I do find the right
person and we do feel like it's the time to
(24:32):
be public, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
But I'll probably be talking from my personal experience and
you could probably like read between the lines, but hopefully
you won't know who I'm talking about, because I would
like to keep that private.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
You recently made comments that you lost over eight thousand
followers and you attribute it to your festival content. Do
you think that's what it was? Do you think what
do you think was about?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Yes, people are like, you dummy, You think it's because
of the festival content, Like, oh, okay, it's a few things.
So I wanted to post the festival content for myself.
And I do recognize now that you have to be
mindful of your followers. Posting too much at once can
(25:20):
be like annoying to people. But I wanted to remember
those moments, and I wanted to create a highlight for
me to look back on and to remember this time
because ultimately, I'm celebrating life and I feel like I'm
finally able to live my life honestly, Like on Sunday,
I felt like it was my birthday and I was
(25:41):
celebrating a rebirth of myself. I day up till the
sun came up because I didn't want to go to sleep,
and I also didn't post anything until I got home
because I wanted to enjoy every single moment there and
it was an incredible experience. But yes, I did whose
eight k followers at the time that I posted that
(26:03):
dandelion photo, which I'm obsessed with, and it was more
so like recognizing and kind of journaling like life, like
oh this happened at this time, And I do recognize
that it wasn't just the festival stuff. It was also
the reunion aired, and also some people were commenting saying like, oh,
(26:28):
I'm just here for the show, and so maybe my
stuff isn't like show worthy.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
I feel like I've.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Got my stuff together and maybe that's not entertaining to
some people. Yeah, I don't know, but like, ultimately, I'm
living myself for me and I'm not living my life
for my followers. Although like I do essentially want to
use my fame as a resource and I do look
(26:59):
at other people in this field that have successfully created
a business with the fame as a resource to do so,
and I do aspire to that, and I have a
vision of what I would like to create and I
am very excited to share with you guys some of
(27:19):
those things along the way and to have you guys
be a part of this journey. And I know a
lot of you have been watching vander Pump since the
very beginning and have seen me come on the show
as this young naive girl that didn't quite have a
voice and didn't quite know how to navigate this world.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
And you've seen me.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Grow into the young woman that I am today, and
that entire transformation has been inspiring to some of you guys, and.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Just knowing that I'm able to.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Have that impact in that type of way is the
most rewarding thing. So I'm just excited to continue to
give back to that community specifically, and.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
I think compassion goes a long way in this world.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
I appreciate the people that have stuck with me through
all of the ups and downs, and I haven't given
up on me because I know that there are good
things to come still and this is just the start
of a magnificent journey. Thank you so much for listening
(28:44):
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